I am Taiwanese American
So...for the past few months I've been kind of hung up on the idea that the UCLA Graduate School application says on the part where you mark your ethnicity, that if you are Taiwanese, you must check "Chinese." [This paper form is similar to the online form.]
For two reasons. One, while I know that the "ethnic survey" part of the Diversity Application isn't supposed to be all that important, I know that "Chinese" students are overrepresented at UCLA, so if I check Chinese I know I won't be seen as, "as diverse." Perhaps noting that I am Chinese will make it less likely for me to be admitted.
Two, while a graduate school application isn't the right place to make a political stand, guess I feel a little diminished--like my identity is being decided for me. I wonder if anyone else out there, who is applying, feels the same way.
It's funny, because as an Asian American, your identity is frequently tested:
When you're Taiwanese American, this identity gets tested and probed further:
While there are similarities between the two cultures, there are also so many fundamental differences, and one of them is that when a person of mainland Chinese descent says "I am Chinese American" the Chinese portion is never contested the same way a person of Taiwanese descent gets contested when she says, "I am Taiwanese American."
When I say "I am Taiwanese American," even people who are close friends, and know me, and respect me will try to disabuse me of that notion. Sometimes it's jokingly, and sometimes it is entirely serious. I feel that in order to identify as a Taiwanese American, I must also constantly be willing to defend how I chose to self-identify.
The identity of white Americans, who are technically immigrants to this land, is never questioned. My family has been in Taiwan likely as long as white people have been in the United States. Is the difference that the United States colonies managed to successfully overthrow Britain's claim while Taiwan has been squatted on so many times it is still reeling from colonialism?
I've always been told--and felt--that if you are Taiwanese, on official forms you should check "Other Asian" and write in "Taiwanese."
If I do that here, it doesn't look like I'm asserting myself. It looks like I'm not following directions.
EDIT: So, the part of the application looks like this:
"For University of California purposes, to help us understand the diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds of our applicants, which of the following groups best describes your background...
Asian/American Asian
Chinese / Chinese American (including Taiwanese)
Filipino / Filipino American
Japanese / Japanese American
Korean / Korean American
South Asian (ex: India / Pakistan / Sri Lanka / Bangladesh)
Vietnamese / Vietnamese American
Other South East Asian (ex: from Cambodia / Laos / Thailand)
Other Asian / Asian American Ancestry
For two reasons. One, while I know that the "ethnic survey" part of the Diversity Application isn't supposed to be all that important, I know that "Chinese" students are overrepresented at UCLA, so if I check Chinese I know I won't be seen as, "as diverse." Perhaps noting that I am Chinese will make it less likely for me to be admitted.
Two, while a graduate school application isn't the right place to make a political stand, guess I feel a little diminished--like my identity is being decided for me. I wonder if anyone else out there, who is applying, feels the same way.
It's funny, because as an Asian American, your identity is frequently tested:
- White people don't think you're "really American" because you're white.
Asian people don't think you're really "American" because you're Asian.
Asian people from Asia don't think you're "really Asian" because you act white.
People have a hard time understanding that you can be both Asian and American.
But most people agree that you are "Asian."
And most Asian American people understand that you're Asian American.
When you're Taiwanese American, this identity gets tested and probed further:
- White people don't think you're "American" because you're white.
White people don't think you're "Taiwanese"
because they've never heard of "Taiwan" and don't think it "exists"
because they don't know the difference between Taiwan and China
because they think Taiwan should be a part of China
because the concept of a Chinese person is easier to understand than Taiwanese
because they don't know the subtle difference between a 中國人 and a 華人
because they think you're...Thai?
Taiwanese people don't think you're really "American" because you're Taiwanese.
Taiwanese people don't think you're really "Taiwanese" because you're American.
Chinese people don't think you're really "Taiwanese" because that would imply Taiwan exists separate of China.
While there are similarities between the two cultures, there are also so many fundamental differences, and one of them is that when a person of mainland Chinese descent says "I am Chinese American" the Chinese portion is never contested the same way a person of Taiwanese descent gets contested when she says, "I am Taiwanese American."
When I say "I am Taiwanese American," even people who are close friends, and know me, and respect me will try to disabuse me of that notion. Sometimes it's jokingly, and sometimes it is entirely serious. I feel that in order to identify as a Taiwanese American, I must also constantly be willing to defend how I chose to self-identify.
The identity of white Americans, who are technically immigrants to this land, is never questioned. My family has been in Taiwan likely as long as white people have been in the United States. Is the difference that the United States colonies managed to successfully overthrow Britain's claim while Taiwan has been squatted on so many times it is still reeling from colonialism?
I've always been told--and felt--that if you are Taiwanese, on official forms you should check "Other Asian" and write in "Taiwanese."
If I do that here, it doesn't look like I'm asserting myself. It looks like I'm not following directions.
EDIT: So, the part of the application looks like this:
"For University of California purposes, to help us understand the diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds of our applicants, which of the following groups best describes your background...
Asian/American Asian
Chinese / Chinese American (including Taiwanese)
Filipino / Filipino American
Japanese / Japanese American
Korean / Korean American
South Asian (ex: India / Pakistan / Sri Lanka / Bangladesh)
Vietnamese / Vietnamese American
Other South East Asian (ex: from Cambodia / Laos / Thailand)
Other Asian / Asian American Ancestry