7JE-united surprise fic for arashianelf Part 4/17
Back to Chapter 2 - Part 1
- - + MATSUMOTO JUN + - -
"And, how was it?" Toma asks curiously when Jun arrives at work the day after the kabuki performance.
"Uhm... nice?" Jun answers, putting his bag down on his table. He's pretty sure that he's not able to hide the happy smile on his face when he remembers the happenings of the previous evening, especially the kiss with that wonderful girl.
Of course, Toma cannot not see this and so he immediately picks up on Jun's strange behaviour. "So? Found some liking in kabuki?"
"Maybe?" Jun answers, pretending to be busy with searching something in his bag.
"Come on, Matsujun, tell me," his colleague whispers, rolling his chair a bit closer. "I know that expression on your face too well already. You met a hot girl?"
Jun finally sits down on his chair, rolling a bit closer to his buddy. "In fact, I think I met her."
"Her?" Toma lifts his eyebrows, questioning.
"Yes, her. The woman of my life," the latter says in a low voice, not hiding his happy smile at all any longer.
"I can't believe it, you must be joking," the other man chuckles.
"I'm deadly serious," Jun answers, his smile wiped off his face.
"Oh well," Toma lifts his hands in surrender, giggling. "Then, congratulations?"
"Thanks."
"So? How is she?" the other asks, lifting his eyebrows in curiosity.
Jun's face softens even more, without him even realizing it. He remembers Satoko's beautiful face, her mysterious eyes, her soft brown hair that he is dying to touch. He sighs. "She's just beautiful, really. Wonderful. Talented - she's one of the kabuki performers, you see? Seriously, she's the best woman I ever met."
"Hah... That sounds pretty nice," Toma admits with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "But what I actually meant is, how is she in bed?" he wiggles his eyebrows.
"I don't know," Jun answers just bluntly.
"What?!" Toma blanks.
"I said, I don't know," his friend repeats.
Toma chuckles again. "Oh come on, don't joke with me, Mr. Casanova! This will be a first for you not landing in bed with the object of your desire on the first evening."
"Don't call her an object," Jun says in an upset voice.
"Wow wow, calm down, lover boy," his colleague retreats. "It's just..."
"I know what you mean but can you imagine that once in a while I can be serious too? It's not all about sex, you know?" the other answers and somehow he knows himself how strange such a statement sounds out of his mouth. Why does he feel ashamed right now?
Toma seems to get another idea. He gasps. "Don't tell me, she turned you down!"
Jun blushes slightly.
"Oh my Gosh," Toma almost freaks out. "You, Matsumoto Casanova Jun got turned down, I don't believe it! Now this is really a first!" the other says, leaning back in his chair and observing his friend, seriously shocked.
"It's not that she turned me down completely, it's just...," Jun starts, wondering how pathetic he must be sounding right now but Toma doesn't know what happened.
"She turned you down only half? Yeah, sure."
Jun leaned closer, darting a serious look at his friend. "You know, in fact, we kissed."
"You mean, you forced a kiss on her."
"No, actually, she kissed me."
"And then she turned you down? Oh wow, that must be really depressing," Toma clasps his hands in front of his mouth, acting a shocked expression.
Jun pouts. "As I already said, she didn't turn me down. She just refused to give me her number."
"You know, in my world, this comes pretty close to the definition of being turned down."
"She said, she'll give me her number the next time we meet," Jun exclaims.
"So she postponed to turn you down."
"She said, she's been waiting for me," Jun says in a serious tone. "And I feel like she's saying the truth. It's like we searched for each other and found each other finally."
Toma couldn't hold back any longer, bursting out into laughter. "Oh my Gosh," he starts once he calms down a little. "You must be kidding me. If this is really true, I don't know which of you is worse."
"Seriously, why are you so fucking annoying?" Jun sighs deeply. "I think, she just wants to challenge me. To see, if I'm serious about her or something, you know?"
"I have to admit, this makes it sound a little more interesting, indeed. So when will you meet her again?"
"I'll try my luck soon. She gave me the name of her university, I might find her there."
"Oho, she's a university student? Way to go, Matsujun!"
"Shut up, it doesn't matter what she is. But I have to see her again and next time we meet, I'll get her number, for sure," Jun says, finally deciding to ignore any further stupid comment by his co-worker and focusing to his task to write his article.
- + -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Back to the Roots
Are female Kabuki actors the Stars of Tomorrow?
Cherry blossom petals falling from the ceiling, softly embracing the impressive figure of the princess from the red moon. White skin, tiny red lips and a melancholic look in the eyes are her main features. The heavy but elegant layers of kimono, embroidered with gold and red silk create a dazzling image. When Princess Akatsuki lifts her hand, holding up an ornamented fan, the audience holds its breath before it gets drawn into the utterly beautiful dance scene taking place on the colourful stage, enchanting every single viewer.
The individual characters of the word kabuki (歌舞伎) mean sing (歌), dance (舞), and skill (伎) and therefore bear the meaning "the art of singing and dancing". This form of theatre is known as "avant-garde" or "bizarre" theatre, combining classical Japanese dance and drama, highlighted with colourful settings, costumes and the typically strong make-up.
The young kabuki actress Ohno Satoko (23) is just one of the performers of the latest interpretation of modern kabuki play "Akatsuki" who proved her outstanding dancing and performance skills, but she is still one of the fewer female interpretors of this genre.
A brief History on the Change of Kabuki
Contradictory to the well-known common practice of an all-male cast in kabuki performances, originally, kabuki was in the hands of women. It was in 1603 when the founder of kabuki, Izumo no Okuni (possibly a temple servant of Izumo Taisha) performed in the dry riverbeds of Kyoto, showing a brand new style of dance drama. Due to the popularity of the humorous plays and the admired actresses, the so-called onna-kabuki became well-received, especially in Edo's red-light district, before it became prohibited in 1629 due to its erotic connotation.
Not long after, the typical, still dominating, all-male cast kabuki (also known as yarō-kabuki (young man kabuki)) became established, letting men also act in the female roles (onnagata or oyama) in those plays. Pushing back the importance of the dance aspect, the focus gradually switched to drama.
During the years and besides its popularity, kabuki also went through dark times in its history. Burnt down theatres, banned plays and prostitution were the words found in headlines in connection with kabuki. Nevertheless - or maybe even because of that - it never died down and finally received more recognition as it became more radical in the Meiji period, emerging modern, sometimes even Western influenced styles. Being banned again during World War II for a length of time, after the war it was difficult for kabuki to regain its popularity until director Takechi Tetsuji's innovative productions initiated the come back of kabuki in the Kansai region.
Today, kabuki is the most popular of the traditional styles of Japanese drama and even influences other modern works of Japanese popular culture such as TV doramas, movies and anime, their stars not only being known in the kabuki world. But kabuki didn't only adapt from the new forms of media but also from the idea of modern Japan and modern culture reception, allowing women again to take part in kabuki performances. Still, female kabuki actors are outnumbered by male interpretors but some local kabuki troupes today use female actors in onnagata roles again, the trend rising.
Interview with Ohno Satoko - A rising Star
After the performance, Tokyo Himawari (TH) was presented with the chance of holding an interview with Ohno Satoko-san (OS), playing the female lead character of the above cited play "Akatsuki". She is one of only a few female kabuki actors in Tokyo and part of the middle-sized kabuki ensemble TsubakiKabuki with mixed cast and currently climbing the ladder of her ascending career.
TH: Ohno Satoko-san, please let us congratulate you to your splendid performance in "Akatsuki" the other day.
OS: Thank you very much.
TH: As one of the few female kabuki actresses nowadays, what are your feelings about the gender role within kabuki performances?
OS: I am very happy that nowadays also women are allowed again to take part in kabuki performances, taking over female roles. I consider kabuki as part of Japan's treasure and I appreciate that slowly but surely the all-male-rule seems to vanish in order to make chances equal between men and women.
TH: There are still more male than female actors in this field. Do you think there will be more women joining in the future?
OS: Definitely. Nowadays, kabuki is still popular among the Japanese and there seems to be a trend among young women to favour this form of drama. I think this will become the basis of more women wanting to join kabuki ensembles in the future.
TH: What made you want to join a kabuki ensemble in first place?
OS: I was always interested in Japanese cultural arts like ikebana, traditional music, and especially dance. I took dancing lessons since my childhood days and I am part of theatre clubs since middle school. I always felt the urge of improving my interests and skills while combining them with traditions. Kabuki seemed to be the perfect choice for me.
TH: Did you have trouble to get accepted in an ensemble when you started searching for a fitting group, because you are a woman?
OS: Not at all. In fact, TsubakiKabuki was the first group I approached and they welcomed me with open arms and support me completely. I am very grateful for this.
TH: How do you see the chances of female actors becoming as popular as for example male onnagata actor Daigoro-san*?
OS: I personally think that it isn't important if the actor is actually male or female. As long as the actor does a good job and provides a good performance, chances for success and popularity should be equal.
TH: Do you aim to become an actress of such a degree of popularity?
OS: I would be a liar if I said I don't aim for a successful career in this field but more than popularity, for me the most important thing is the fun of being able to act on stage and the bigger the role, the happier and more grateful I am. I hope I will be able to act in many more performances in the future.
TH: Good luck with this, we are convinced with your talent and beauty, you will become a leading star of modern kabuki. We are looking forward to a lot of more gorgeous performances of yours.
OS: Thank you very much for your support.
TH: Thank you very much for this interesting interview, Ohno-san.
*Tachibana Daigoro (28), one of Heisei's celebrated onna-gata actors
Text and interview by Matsumoto Jun (Tokyo Himawari)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- + -
A few days later, two of Tokyo Himawari's latest magazine issues stored carefully in his bag, Jun crosses the gates of Seijo University around lunch time. He's a bit excited. Well, not only a bit, to be honest. He's utterly excited as he wants to try his luck to find Ohno here and to give her one of the freshly printed magazines to make sure she gets a copy of their interview. The other magazine, he plans to beg for her signature. Yes, he knows that's a bit embarrassing, but he doesn't care.
The impression he gets from the campus is almost overwhelming. He almost forgot how it feels like mixing among students and teachers, even if it's just about two years ago that he himself graduated from Toudai University. It's obviously lunch break, lots of students are sitting on benches or on blankets placed on the grass underneath the blooming trees, the warm spring sun tickling everyone's cheeks to a cheerful smile. The countless voices mixed with happy laughter give off a pleasant feeling.
Jun quickly realizes that he won't be able to find Ohno here right away, there are just too many faces and the university grounds too large. With that, the young journalist takes a step forward, to ask the first group of students that crosses his way, a small group of young women, for help.
"Excuse me, I am searching for Ohno Satoko-san, she's supposed to be a student here. Do you know her by any chance?" he asks, immediately drawing one girl's attention at him.
The girl seems to think for a second, probably browsing some names and faces connected to those names that she might know, but then she just shakes her head with an apologizing impression, "No, I'm sorry, I don’t know any girl of that name," she says, her friends shaking their heads to.
"But if you ask nicely, we can come along and help you search for her," another girl says, winking at the young man who then just waves his hand and thankfully declines.
The girl pouts slightly and if Jun pays more attention at them when he leaves, he will be able to hear the laughter of the other women, about their friend's failed flirting attempt. But he doesn't notice that at all, only thinking about the woman he is trying to find. He has to see her again.
As predicted though, it is quite difficult to find the one he is looking for and with that, even after asking more and more students, Jun doesn't have any hint about Ohno Satoko. It's strange, like nobody knows her or ever heard her name. How is that possible, Jun wonders. Such a beautiful, talented young woman, a kabuki actress, not being known at her own university? He stops his walk in the middle of the campus when a thought hits him, that there is a possibly Ohno has lied to him. What if she isn't attending Seijo University, what if it was just to get rid of him? But why did she want to get rid of him, she seemed to like Jun when they met. She even kissed him. No, it must be just a strange coincidence that Jun doesn't meet anyone who seems to know her. It is just the beginning of a new semester, maybe she's new here and that's the reason why nobody knows her yet. Yeah, that must be it, Jun concludes for himself.
Suddenly someone taps his shoulder and Jun whirls around, facing a man, maybe around his age, looking at him with big eyes.
"I'm sorry," the guy says, "I didn't want to surprise you. Are you OK? You look a little lost somehow."
Jun stares at the young man, slightly confused when suddenly he gets a slight feeling of knowing that man when seeing his face.
"Excuse me," Jun starts. "But do we know each other? You look familiar somehow."
"I'm not sure? Maybe you attended one of Sakamoto-sensei's classes? I'm his new assistant professor. I'm sorry though, I don't remember your face," the man answers with an apologetic smile.
"Ah no, no, I'm not a student here, I'm a journalist," Jun chuckles and waves his hand before he quickly reaches inside of his jacket's pocket to pull out a business card to hand it to the young professor.
"Oh, you're from Tokyo Himawari," the man says. "I'm one of your readers, actually. I am about to pick up the latest issue at the nearby kiosk in the evening."
"Thank you very much."
"So what leads you here to Seijo University?" the young professor asks curiously. "Did I miss something interesting?"
"I'm searching for someone."
"Searching for someone?"
"Yes, a female student," Jun continues, feeling hope again. If this man is working here, he may know more students than the other people he asked so far, maybe. "She's a kabuki actress and is featured in an article and interview that I wrote for the latest issue."
"Wow, that's pretty awesome! I didn't know we have someone like that here on the campus," the other man nods interested and Jun's hope fades a little again.
"Her name is Ohno Satoko. Maybe you know her?" he tries his luck nevertheless.
The man in front of him frowns, as if he tries to remember the name but unfortunately in the end he has to deny, excusing his ignorance with the fact that he's still quite new here too.
"But now that you mentioned it before, I think I kind of find your face familiar too," he adds. "May I ask were you graduated from?"
"I graduated from Toudai University," Jun answers.
"Really? Me too!" the other man exclaims.
"I see! I guess here we have our common point," the journalist concludes. "We must have seen each other there."
"Definitely. Did you also have to visit Inagaki-sensei's lectures about Japan's modern economics?" the young man asks, arching his eyebrows curiously.
Jun frowns at the memory of this professor, "Of course! Oh my God, they were super boring..."
"Right? I once fell asleep and had to do some imposition," the young professor admits chuckling and Jun joins in the laughter. "Ah, I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Sakurai Sho."
"Pleased to meet you, Sakurai-san."
"Well then, Matsumoto-san," the young professor says reading Jun's name from the business card again quickly. "I'm really sorry I can't be of any help for your search."
Jun just shakes his head, understanding. "No problem, thanks for trying to help me. Ah!" he then reaches inside his bag quickly. "If you like, please take one of these," he says, handing Sakurai one of the magazines.
"Oh wow, thank you very much!" the other gladly accepts the magazine. "I'll keep my ears and eyes open and in case I get to know something about Ohno-san, I'll contact you," he promises.
"I will be really grateful for your help," Jun bows slightly again before he leaves.
- - + OHNO SATOSHI + - -
The thing is that Ohno somehow knows. Knows that he has not always been a boy. At least not his soul. But this is something he cannot talk about to anyone yet. People might call him crazy. But deep inside, he is convinced that his dreams aren't just simple dreams and that they must show his past. His and Matsumoto's past in which they were a couple. A couple so much in love that somehow, their souls must have been reborn in order to find each other again. Just like how it is hinted in Ninomiya Kazunari's short story.
Ohno read said story just the day before, because he has the university's magazine at home for weeks but didn't have time to read it yet. He is surprised. No, surprised would be an understatement. He is flabbergasted, speechless, overwhelmed by how real the story feels because it is actually more or less a summary of his own dreams. He can't believe it.
Ohno checks the name of the author again - Ninomiya Kazunari - and remembers that they are both members of the theatre club - Ohno as an actor and Ninomiya usually providing the scripts, rewriting famous stories with new interpretations and helping out as a director or actor for their plays.
Ohno doesn't know what has gotten into him to approach Ninomiya because of his story and to try talking to him. What is he expecting from the other man? That he tells him he stole his dream diaries and made it into a story? That's a stupid thought and it cannot be true since Ohno keeps them safe and sound at home and never brings any along, too afraid to lose it on his way. But what else? That he's some kind of creepy dream walker who stole his dream? Ohno of course knows that something like that isn't possible - at least that's what he thinks. Nevertheless, it is extremely strange to read Ninomiya's short story and recognize the story of his own very dreams that he has been dreaming for years now. How is this even possible? But then, how is it possible that just a few days earlier the exact man of his dreams - Matsumoto, as he has found out his name - has shown up in front of Ohno? This is at least strange at the same level. And since Ohno even believes in something like reincarnation, who is he to decide what else exists?
In the end though, Ninomiya is totally confused about the conversation with Ohno and it's like the young man's eyes are literally screaming "What do you want from me?" at him. So even if Ninomiya for some reason is able to see Ohno's dreams - or his past - he doesn't seem to be aware of it at all. The latter has to admit that the conversation maybe runs a bit into some kind of awkward dead end. But to his defence, it is really hard to talk to someone about something you don't really understand yourself! Maybe, Ohno was hoping that Ninomiya, as the writer of the story, is able to explain him something more, but it's not such a big surprise that this isn't the case.
Now, instead of finding answers, Ohno has managed to create even more questions - at least for Ninomiya - and on top of that he most probably left an even more awkward impression on the young fellow student than what the other might already have about him. Well, Ohno doesn't care. He's been a loner ever since and he doesn't mind if that fact doesn't change.
However, Ohno could use a friend here at university, to be honest. Yes, he has his sisters but they live quite far away, and yes, he gets along well with his fellow actors in the kabuki group that he is part of besides his university and club activities. The latter even know about his cross dressing habit and don't mind it at all but nevertheless their relationship isn't really something he calls friendship. Maybe it's because Ohno can never relate to other people that well, those who seem to be so sure about being who they are. But with Ninomiya, it is kind of different. For Ohno it feels like that guy is still searching. For something, or someone, at least, it feels like he isn't complete yet. Maybe, he'll be able to understand Ohno better than any other person he met so far.
It is two days after his conversation with Ninomiya, when Ohno overhears his fellow students talking about something during arts classes. Usually, he's completely spaced out, focused on his project and nothing reaches his ears, no matter how loud the conversations around him might be but when someone mentions the name Matsumoto, it's like that name pulls Ohno out of his trance. He looks at the young woman who mentioned the name, holding his brush still over the canvas, and sharpens his ears to listen to the conversation she's holding with her friend.
"His name is Matsumoto and he's a journalist from Tokyo Himawari. And he's damned good looking, I tell you," the girl says.
This is when Ohno starts listening. The image of the man of his dreams pops up his mind and Ohno mentally notes that he indeed is damned good looking but at this point, he is still not sure if they are talking about his Matsumoto or someone else with that surname.
"He's been coming to the campus for a few days?" the other girl asked.
"Yes, around midday usually," the other confirmed. "It seems like he's searching for someone."
"Because he's working at a magazine?" OK, no doubt, they are talking about his Matsumoto, Ohno thinks, his heart skipping a beat. He's coming to the campus? "Maybe he wants to interview someone?"
"No," the first girl shakes her head, tilting it. "It seems he's searching for someone specific that he already did interview."
"Doesn't he have the number of that person? If they already met for an interview and such..." the other student wonders.
"It would make sense, right?" her friend asks. "But obviously not."
"Who is he searching for?"
"Someone called Ohno Satoko," the young woman explained.
Ohno blushes deeply, feeling his hand starting to tremble slightly. So Matsumoto is searching for him, here on the campus. Well, searching for his female version, that is. No wonder, he doesn't find Satoko, since she doesn't exist on the campus. A strange feeling of guilt waves through Ohno's body. It's not what he intended but it's obviously his fault that the young journalist is wasting his time getting here and searching for Satoko, and this just because Ohno let himself get carried away and wanted to follow this spontaneous, romantic idea of testing the potential love between yeah, him and someone who he believes is the reincarnation of his husband from centuries ago.
Feeling the trembling in his hands getting stronger, Ohno drops his hand with the brush, not caring about the paint dripping onto the with newspaper covered arts room floor. He tries to gulp down the heavy lump forming in his throat.
"She seems to be a student here at Seijo," the girl continues, pulling Ohno out of his thoughts again, making him cringe slightly before he turns his attention back to the girls. "But the strange thing is that there is no one with that name on the campus, nobody knows her and he even asked some professors."
"Eh? Then that person lied to him?" the other asked surprised.
No! Ohno screams mentally. He didn't lie to Matsumoto! It's just that - OK, maybe he kind of lied to him. Not about studying at Seijo at least. But Matsumoto thinks he is a woman and Ohno just realizes that he did not do anything to make him believe otherwise when they met. Because for himself it isn't a big deal. Because back then he was a woman and he felt too deep in this character, that he forgot the reality for a while. However, he should have considered that for other people it indeed could be a big deal. They define themselves and others through their gender. Just because something is the truth for Ohno, it doesn't mean it is the truth for everyone else and officially the only truth about Ohno is that he is a male student studying at Seijo and with the information he gave Matsumoto, the other will not be able to find him. But then, and this terrible thought only crosses Ohno's mind right now, what if Matsumoto finds out the truth and doesn't even want to find him any longer? Because he is actually not who he believes he is?
"Ah, Ohno-san?" one of the female students suddenly turns around and looks at the young man with big eyes.
Surprised, Ohno stiffens. "Eh? Yes?"
"I just realized that we are talking about someone with the same surname as yours and it might be naïve to ask but do you happen to know an Ohno Satoko?"
Ohno stares at the young woman for a second, thinking. Should he say yes? No? Pretend he doesn't know? Surprisingly, he feels the situation being more confusing and difficult than he thought it would be.
"Satomi, leave him alone, he's concentrated, can't you see it?" the other girl then cuts in before Ohno even forms the first half of his reply.
"True...," the student called Satomi says, a bit shocked. "I'm really sorry, Ohno-san. Please continue your work."
Ohno just nods slightly to signal that he is OK and the girl doesn't need to worry about it, but he is seriously relieved when the two students turn around again, leaving him in peace. With this he doesn't need to answer, doesn't need to think about the topic deeper than he wants. At least not for now.
- + -
Of course, in the end, the topic doesn't leave Ohno alone, coming back at him full force as the next day he strolls through the campus during lunch break, wanting to reach from the one building to the other and he spots that familiar face in the middle of the campus, searching. It's Matsumoto.
Ohno's heart jumps. The other man is still searching for him, it's like a dream. After listening to the rumours and stories his fellow students have to tell about the young good-looking journalist who's searching for that mysterious woman, of course, Ohno played with the thought of going out on the campus and meeting the other man. Just, that he feels like he cannot meet him the way he is at university. As a man. And even if, he wouldn't be able to tell the other that he is actually the same person as the one he is searching for.
However, Ohno just knows, he wants to meet him again. Wants to talk to him again. One way or the other. If it is as Satoko - but he couldn't come here as Satoko - or as who he is at the moment, even if it might mean that he will have to lie for a while.
In the end, the young arts student cannot hold back any longer, seeing the journalist asking students after students for the one he's searching and so, Ohno decides to approach the other man, finally.
He clears his throat as he stops right next to him and his voice - sounding a bit deeper than the voice he used for his appearance as Satoko - almost breaks from the nervousness. "Excuse me," he says, "Matsumoto-san right?"
The journalist turns around, his big brown eyes meeting Ohno's immediately. They look at each other for a moment that feels like an eternity for Ohno and he wonders if the other actually recognizes him. His heart beats fast and loud, up to his throat and it's like he cannot hear anything else than the bumping of his heart right now. He cannot read the look in Matsumoto's eyes, he thinks that there is a hint of recognition but is it possible? Ohno knows that he looks completely different without the female features, his short hair, no make-up on, nothing to be reminded of the beauty of his female side.
The moment is over faster than Ohno expected eternity to last, when suddenly he realizes that the look in Matsumoto's eyes is up and foremost confusion and surprise.
"Yes?" the man asks, wondering.
Ohno tries to gulp down his nervousness, wishing he could just disappear right now. But he has to talk to him. Now that he started the conversation, he actually has to talk to him, damned! He clears this throat. "You are searching for Ohno Satoko?"
"Oh my god, yes!" Matsumoto exclaims, immediately, his eyes flickering suddenly. "Don't tell me you know her?" He sounds so excited and Ohno just can find it adorable and cute.
"Well, I do," Ohno says and well, it isn't even a lie.
The excitement that replaces the confusion on Matsumoto's eyes now, makes Ohno's heart cringe.
"Really? Can you tell me where I can find her?" the young man asks enthusiastically.
"Well, Satoko is my... sister." OK, this is a lie.
"I see! Well, now that you mentioned it, you look kind of familiar, you even sound a bit like her, I bet you are twins," Matsumoto says, still excited. He's so cute, Ohno thinks.
"Yeah," the lie continues.
"So, is she here somewhere? Can you guide me to her?"
Ohno spots hope in Matsumoto's look. His heart cringes again.
"Well, fact is she isn't here today," he starts a bit sheepishly. "To be honest, she barely attends university, she's too busy with her job."
"The kabuki group?" the journalist supposes.
"Yeah," Ohno wonders when he will be able to stop this. He feels the spiral of lies drawing closer already.
"Will she come here soon?"
Ohno tilts his head, sheepishly. "I don't think so."
"I see," Matsumoto nods slowly, biting his lower lip slightly and Ohno can only look at the cute dark mole on the man's lips. "Sounds like she's really busy. Then, may I ask you for a favour? I wanted to give her this magazine before she buys it herself, it's from the interview I took with her, I'm sure you know about it as her brother."
"Ah, yeah, sure," Ohno nods hastily.
"I wanted her to have a copy," the journalist blushes a little as he reaches out his hands at the student, lowering his head a little. Too cute to be true, Ohno thinks. "Can you please give it to her?"
"Of course. Thank you very much," the other man takes the magazine, gladly, and for him it's weighing like a treasure.
"So I guess I have to search for her somewhere else," Matsumoto finally concludes. "She's going to the kabuki group regularly, isn't she? Do you know where they do their rehearsals?"
"Uhm... you want to try meeting her there?" Ohno asks a little surprised. He thought that with Matsumoto giving him the magazine, things are settled for the time being but it seems he miscalculated about the journalist.
"Sure. I have to see her again," the young man smiles enthusiastically and it makes Ohno's heart melt helplessly and he wishes he could just jump at the other, kissing him again like he did the last time they met. "Do you know the times when she's there?"
However, of course, Ohno cannot break his lie yet. He has to play along. "Uhm, I'm not sure."
"I guess I'll just try my luck after work then. Thank you very much," Matsumoto bows slightly, apologizing and ready to finally leave.
That's it, Ohno thinks, he's leaving. And of course, he doesn't want him to leave. He wants to reach his hand to tug on the journalist's shirt, to drag him to stay with him, even if just for a little while longer. But of course, that's not possible. Wouldn't it be strange? However, Ohno's lips move faster than his brain can think at the moment and so he calls the other, making him stop.
"Ah, Matsumoto-san, wait. Do you want me to give her your business card? I can't promise she'll call you but just in case."
"Oh, really? That would be great!" again there is this generous smile that makes Ohno's heart throb. "If she wants to contact me, I'd be happy. I really want to see her. I'll write my private cell phone number onto it, wait a second."
"I'll give her the card too then," the art student promises in a low voice.
"Thank you so much, Ohno-san," Matsumoto says and hurriedly reaches into his bag to fish for a business card and a pen. After scribbling his number onto the empty space on the back side, he hands the card to the other man carefully.
"It's nothing," Ohno shakes his head slightly.
"Really, you don't know what it means to me," the journalist bows again. "Good bye."
"Good bye."
Ohno takes a look at the business card in his hands, letting his thumb brush softly over the man's name, the kanji with the pine trees. His heart is still beating like crazy. Maybe it wouldn't be fate again that reunited Ohno and Matsumoto after that interview, but Matsumoto's persistence to find Satoko again and Ohno's inability to resist him. But that should be fine, too.
Chapter 3 - Part 1
- - + MATSUMOTO JUN + - -
"And, how was it?" Toma asks curiously when Jun arrives at work the day after the kabuki performance.
"Uhm... nice?" Jun answers, putting his bag down on his table. He's pretty sure that he's not able to hide the happy smile on his face when he remembers the happenings of the previous evening, especially the kiss with that wonderful girl.
Of course, Toma cannot not see this and so he immediately picks up on Jun's strange behaviour. "So? Found some liking in kabuki?"
"Maybe?" Jun answers, pretending to be busy with searching something in his bag.
"Come on, Matsujun, tell me," his colleague whispers, rolling his chair a bit closer. "I know that expression on your face too well already. You met a hot girl?"
Jun finally sits down on his chair, rolling a bit closer to his buddy. "In fact, I think I met her."
"Her?" Toma lifts his eyebrows, questioning.
"Yes, her. The woman of my life," the latter says in a low voice, not hiding his happy smile at all any longer.
"I can't believe it, you must be joking," the other man chuckles.
"I'm deadly serious," Jun answers, his smile wiped off his face.
"Oh well," Toma lifts his hands in surrender, giggling. "Then, congratulations?"
"Thanks."
"So? How is she?" the other asks, lifting his eyebrows in curiosity.
Jun's face softens even more, without him even realizing it. He remembers Satoko's beautiful face, her mysterious eyes, her soft brown hair that he is dying to touch. He sighs. "She's just beautiful, really. Wonderful. Talented - she's one of the kabuki performers, you see? Seriously, she's the best woman I ever met."
"Hah... That sounds pretty nice," Toma admits with a smirk, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "But what I actually meant is, how is she in bed?" he wiggles his eyebrows.
"I don't know," Jun answers just bluntly.
"What?!" Toma blanks.
"I said, I don't know," his friend repeats.
Toma chuckles again. "Oh come on, don't joke with me, Mr. Casanova! This will be a first for you not landing in bed with the object of your desire on the first evening."
"Don't call her an object," Jun says in an upset voice.
"Wow wow, calm down, lover boy," his colleague retreats. "It's just..."
"I know what you mean but can you imagine that once in a while I can be serious too? It's not all about sex, you know?" the other answers and somehow he knows himself how strange such a statement sounds out of his mouth. Why does he feel ashamed right now?
Toma seems to get another idea. He gasps. "Don't tell me, she turned you down!"
Jun blushes slightly.
"Oh my Gosh," Toma almost freaks out. "You, Matsumoto Casanova Jun got turned down, I don't believe it! Now this is really a first!" the other says, leaning back in his chair and observing his friend, seriously shocked.
"It's not that she turned me down completely, it's just...," Jun starts, wondering how pathetic he must be sounding right now but Toma doesn't know what happened.
"She turned you down only half? Yeah, sure."
Jun leaned closer, darting a serious look at his friend. "You know, in fact, we kissed."
"You mean, you forced a kiss on her."
"No, actually, she kissed me."
"And then she turned you down? Oh wow, that must be really depressing," Toma clasps his hands in front of his mouth, acting a shocked expression.
Jun pouts. "As I already said, she didn't turn me down. She just refused to give me her number."
"You know, in my world, this comes pretty close to the definition of being turned down."
"She said, she'll give me her number the next time we meet," Jun exclaims.
"So she postponed to turn you down."
"She said, she's been waiting for me," Jun says in a serious tone. "And I feel like she's saying the truth. It's like we searched for each other and found each other finally."
Toma couldn't hold back any longer, bursting out into laughter. "Oh my Gosh," he starts once he calms down a little. "You must be kidding me. If this is really true, I don't know which of you is worse."
"Seriously, why are you so fucking annoying?" Jun sighs deeply. "I think, she just wants to challenge me. To see, if I'm serious about her or something, you know?"
"I have to admit, this makes it sound a little more interesting, indeed. So when will you meet her again?"
"I'll try my luck soon. She gave me the name of her university, I might find her there."
"Oho, she's a university student? Way to go, Matsujun!"
"Shut up, it doesn't matter what she is. But I have to see her again and next time we meet, I'll get her number, for sure," Jun says, finally deciding to ignore any further stupid comment by his co-worker and focusing to his task to write his article.
- + -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Back to the Roots
Are female Kabuki actors the Stars of Tomorrow?
Cherry blossom petals falling from the ceiling, softly embracing the impressive figure of the princess from the red moon. White skin, tiny red lips and a melancholic look in the eyes are her main features. The heavy but elegant layers of kimono, embroidered with gold and red silk create a dazzling image. When Princess Akatsuki lifts her hand, holding up an ornamented fan, the audience holds its breath before it gets drawn into the utterly beautiful dance scene taking place on the colourful stage, enchanting every single viewer.
The individual characters of the word kabuki (歌舞伎) mean sing (歌), dance (舞), and skill (伎) and therefore bear the meaning "the art of singing and dancing". This form of theatre is known as "avant-garde" or "bizarre" theatre, combining classical Japanese dance and drama, highlighted with colourful settings, costumes and the typically strong make-up.
The young kabuki actress Ohno Satoko (23) is just one of the performers of the latest interpretation of modern kabuki play "Akatsuki" who proved her outstanding dancing and performance skills, but she is still one of the fewer female interpretors of this genre.
A brief History on the Change of Kabuki
Contradictory to the well-known common practice of an all-male cast in kabuki performances, originally, kabuki was in the hands of women. It was in 1603 when the founder of kabuki, Izumo no Okuni (possibly a temple servant of Izumo Taisha) performed in the dry riverbeds of Kyoto, showing a brand new style of dance drama. Due to the popularity of the humorous plays and the admired actresses, the so-called onna-kabuki became well-received, especially in Edo's red-light district, before it became prohibited in 1629 due to its erotic connotation.
Not long after, the typical, still dominating, all-male cast kabuki (also known as yarō-kabuki (young man kabuki)) became established, letting men also act in the female roles (onnagata or oyama) in those plays. Pushing back the importance of the dance aspect, the focus gradually switched to drama.
During the years and besides its popularity, kabuki also went through dark times in its history. Burnt down theatres, banned plays and prostitution were the words found in headlines in connection with kabuki. Nevertheless - or maybe even because of that - it never died down and finally received more recognition as it became more radical in the Meiji period, emerging modern, sometimes even Western influenced styles. Being banned again during World War II for a length of time, after the war it was difficult for kabuki to regain its popularity until director Takechi Tetsuji's innovative productions initiated the come back of kabuki in the Kansai region.
Today, kabuki is the most popular of the traditional styles of Japanese drama and even influences other modern works of Japanese popular culture such as TV doramas, movies and anime, their stars not only being known in the kabuki world. But kabuki didn't only adapt from the new forms of media but also from the idea of modern Japan and modern culture reception, allowing women again to take part in kabuki performances. Still, female kabuki actors are outnumbered by male interpretors but some local kabuki troupes today use female actors in onnagata roles again, the trend rising.
Interview with Ohno Satoko - A rising Star
After the performance, Tokyo Himawari (TH) was presented with the chance of holding an interview with Ohno Satoko-san (OS), playing the female lead character of the above cited play "Akatsuki". She is one of only a few female kabuki actors in Tokyo and part of the middle-sized kabuki ensemble TsubakiKabuki with mixed cast and currently climbing the ladder of her ascending career.
TH: Ohno Satoko-san, please let us congratulate you to your splendid performance in "Akatsuki" the other day.
OS: Thank you very much.
TH: As one of the few female kabuki actresses nowadays, what are your feelings about the gender role within kabuki performances?
OS: I am very happy that nowadays also women are allowed again to take part in kabuki performances, taking over female roles. I consider kabuki as part of Japan's treasure and I appreciate that slowly but surely the all-male-rule seems to vanish in order to make chances equal between men and women.
TH: There are still more male than female actors in this field. Do you think there will be more women joining in the future?
OS: Definitely. Nowadays, kabuki is still popular among the Japanese and there seems to be a trend among young women to favour this form of drama. I think this will become the basis of more women wanting to join kabuki ensembles in the future.
TH: What made you want to join a kabuki ensemble in first place?
OS: I was always interested in Japanese cultural arts like ikebana, traditional music, and especially dance. I took dancing lessons since my childhood days and I am part of theatre clubs since middle school. I always felt the urge of improving my interests and skills while combining them with traditions. Kabuki seemed to be the perfect choice for me.
TH: Did you have trouble to get accepted in an ensemble when you started searching for a fitting group, because you are a woman?
OS: Not at all. In fact, TsubakiKabuki was the first group I approached and they welcomed me with open arms and support me completely. I am very grateful for this.
TH: How do you see the chances of female actors becoming as popular as for example male onnagata actor Daigoro-san*?
OS: I personally think that it isn't important if the actor is actually male or female. As long as the actor does a good job and provides a good performance, chances for success and popularity should be equal.
TH: Do you aim to become an actress of such a degree of popularity?
OS: I would be a liar if I said I don't aim for a successful career in this field but more than popularity, for me the most important thing is the fun of being able to act on stage and the bigger the role, the happier and more grateful I am. I hope I will be able to act in many more performances in the future.
TH: Good luck with this, we are convinced with your talent and beauty, you will become a leading star of modern kabuki. We are looking forward to a lot of more gorgeous performances of yours.
OS: Thank you very much for your support.
TH: Thank you very much for this interesting interview, Ohno-san.
*Tachibana Daigoro (28), one of Heisei's celebrated onna-gata actors
Text and interview by Matsumoto Jun (Tokyo Himawari)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- + -
A few days later, two of Tokyo Himawari's latest magazine issues stored carefully in his bag, Jun crosses the gates of Seijo University around lunch time. He's a bit excited. Well, not only a bit, to be honest. He's utterly excited as he wants to try his luck to find Ohno here and to give her one of the freshly printed magazines to make sure she gets a copy of their interview. The other magazine, he plans to beg for her signature. Yes, he knows that's a bit embarrassing, but he doesn't care.
The impression he gets from the campus is almost overwhelming. He almost forgot how it feels like mixing among students and teachers, even if it's just about two years ago that he himself graduated from Toudai University. It's obviously lunch break, lots of students are sitting on benches or on blankets placed on the grass underneath the blooming trees, the warm spring sun tickling everyone's cheeks to a cheerful smile. The countless voices mixed with happy laughter give off a pleasant feeling.
Jun quickly realizes that he won't be able to find Ohno here right away, there are just too many faces and the university grounds too large. With that, the young journalist takes a step forward, to ask the first group of students that crosses his way, a small group of young women, for help.
"Excuse me, I am searching for Ohno Satoko-san, she's supposed to be a student here. Do you know her by any chance?" he asks, immediately drawing one girl's attention at him.
The girl seems to think for a second, probably browsing some names and faces connected to those names that she might know, but then she just shakes her head with an apologizing impression, "No, I'm sorry, I don’t know any girl of that name," she says, her friends shaking their heads to.
"But if you ask nicely, we can come along and help you search for her," another girl says, winking at the young man who then just waves his hand and thankfully declines.
The girl pouts slightly and if Jun pays more attention at them when he leaves, he will be able to hear the laughter of the other women, about their friend's failed flirting attempt. But he doesn't notice that at all, only thinking about the woman he is trying to find. He has to see her again.
As predicted though, it is quite difficult to find the one he is looking for and with that, even after asking more and more students, Jun doesn't have any hint about Ohno Satoko. It's strange, like nobody knows her or ever heard her name. How is that possible, Jun wonders. Such a beautiful, talented young woman, a kabuki actress, not being known at her own university? He stops his walk in the middle of the campus when a thought hits him, that there is a possibly Ohno has lied to him. What if she isn't attending Seijo University, what if it was just to get rid of him? But why did she want to get rid of him, she seemed to like Jun when they met. She even kissed him. No, it must be just a strange coincidence that Jun doesn't meet anyone who seems to know her. It is just the beginning of a new semester, maybe she's new here and that's the reason why nobody knows her yet. Yeah, that must be it, Jun concludes for himself.
Suddenly someone taps his shoulder and Jun whirls around, facing a man, maybe around his age, looking at him with big eyes.
"I'm sorry," the guy says, "I didn't want to surprise you. Are you OK? You look a little lost somehow."
Jun stares at the young man, slightly confused when suddenly he gets a slight feeling of knowing that man when seeing his face.
"Excuse me," Jun starts. "But do we know each other? You look familiar somehow."
"I'm not sure? Maybe you attended one of Sakamoto-sensei's classes? I'm his new assistant professor. I'm sorry though, I don't remember your face," the man answers with an apologetic smile.
"Ah no, no, I'm not a student here, I'm a journalist," Jun chuckles and waves his hand before he quickly reaches inside of his jacket's pocket to pull out a business card to hand it to the young professor.
"Oh, you're from Tokyo Himawari," the man says. "I'm one of your readers, actually. I am about to pick up the latest issue at the nearby kiosk in the evening."
"Thank you very much."
"So what leads you here to Seijo University?" the young professor asks curiously. "Did I miss something interesting?"
"I'm searching for someone."
"Searching for someone?"
"Yes, a female student," Jun continues, feeling hope again. If this man is working here, he may know more students than the other people he asked so far, maybe. "She's a kabuki actress and is featured in an article and interview that I wrote for the latest issue."
"Wow, that's pretty awesome! I didn't know we have someone like that here on the campus," the other man nods interested and Jun's hope fades a little again.
"Her name is Ohno Satoko. Maybe you know her?" he tries his luck nevertheless.
The man in front of him frowns, as if he tries to remember the name but unfortunately in the end he has to deny, excusing his ignorance with the fact that he's still quite new here too.
"But now that you mentioned it before, I think I kind of find your face familiar too," he adds. "May I ask were you graduated from?"
"I graduated from Toudai University," Jun answers.
"Really? Me too!" the other man exclaims.
"I see! I guess here we have our common point," the journalist concludes. "We must have seen each other there."
"Definitely. Did you also have to visit Inagaki-sensei's lectures about Japan's modern economics?" the young man asks, arching his eyebrows curiously.
Jun frowns at the memory of this professor, "Of course! Oh my God, they were super boring..."
"Right? I once fell asleep and had to do some imposition," the young professor admits chuckling and Jun joins in the laughter. "Ah, I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Sakurai Sho."
"Pleased to meet you, Sakurai-san."
"Well then, Matsumoto-san," the young professor says reading Jun's name from the business card again quickly. "I'm really sorry I can't be of any help for your search."
Jun just shakes his head, understanding. "No problem, thanks for trying to help me. Ah!" he then reaches inside his bag quickly. "If you like, please take one of these," he says, handing Sakurai one of the magazines.
"Oh wow, thank you very much!" the other gladly accepts the magazine. "I'll keep my ears and eyes open and in case I get to know something about Ohno-san, I'll contact you," he promises.
"I will be really grateful for your help," Jun bows slightly again before he leaves.
- - + OHNO SATOSHI + - -
The thing is that Ohno somehow knows. Knows that he has not always been a boy. At least not his soul. But this is something he cannot talk about to anyone yet. People might call him crazy. But deep inside, he is convinced that his dreams aren't just simple dreams and that they must show his past. His and Matsumoto's past in which they were a couple. A couple so much in love that somehow, their souls must have been reborn in order to find each other again. Just like how it is hinted in Ninomiya Kazunari's short story.
Ohno read said story just the day before, because he has the university's magazine at home for weeks but didn't have time to read it yet. He is surprised. No, surprised would be an understatement. He is flabbergasted, speechless, overwhelmed by how real the story feels because it is actually more or less a summary of his own dreams. He can't believe it.
Ohno checks the name of the author again - Ninomiya Kazunari - and remembers that they are both members of the theatre club - Ohno as an actor and Ninomiya usually providing the scripts, rewriting famous stories with new interpretations and helping out as a director or actor for their plays.
Ohno doesn't know what has gotten into him to approach Ninomiya because of his story and to try talking to him. What is he expecting from the other man? That he tells him he stole his dream diaries and made it into a story? That's a stupid thought and it cannot be true since Ohno keeps them safe and sound at home and never brings any along, too afraid to lose it on his way. But what else? That he's some kind of creepy dream walker who stole his dream? Ohno of course knows that something like that isn't possible - at least that's what he thinks. Nevertheless, it is extremely strange to read Ninomiya's short story and recognize the story of his own very dreams that he has been dreaming for years now. How is this even possible? But then, how is it possible that just a few days earlier the exact man of his dreams - Matsumoto, as he has found out his name - has shown up in front of Ohno? This is at least strange at the same level. And since Ohno even believes in something like reincarnation, who is he to decide what else exists?
In the end though, Ninomiya is totally confused about the conversation with Ohno and it's like the young man's eyes are literally screaming "What do you want from me?" at him. So even if Ninomiya for some reason is able to see Ohno's dreams - or his past - he doesn't seem to be aware of it at all. The latter has to admit that the conversation maybe runs a bit into some kind of awkward dead end. But to his defence, it is really hard to talk to someone about something you don't really understand yourself! Maybe, Ohno was hoping that Ninomiya, as the writer of the story, is able to explain him something more, but it's not such a big surprise that this isn't the case.
Now, instead of finding answers, Ohno has managed to create even more questions - at least for Ninomiya - and on top of that he most probably left an even more awkward impression on the young fellow student than what the other might already have about him. Well, Ohno doesn't care. He's been a loner ever since and he doesn't mind if that fact doesn't change.
However, Ohno could use a friend here at university, to be honest. Yes, he has his sisters but they live quite far away, and yes, he gets along well with his fellow actors in the kabuki group that he is part of besides his university and club activities. The latter even know about his cross dressing habit and don't mind it at all but nevertheless their relationship isn't really something he calls friendship. Maybe it's because Ohno can never relate to other people that well, those who seem to be so sure about being who they are. But with Ninomiya, it is kind of different. For Ohno it feels like that guy is still searching. For something, or someone, at least, it feels like he isn't complete yet. Maybe, he'll be able to understand Ohno better than any other person he met so far.
It is two days after his conversation with Ninomiya, when Ohno overhears his fellow students talking about something during arts classes. Usually, he's completely spaced out, focused on his project and nothing reaches his ears, no matter how loud the conversations around him might be but when someone mentions the name Matsumoto, it's like that name pulls Ohno out of his trance. He looks at the young woman who mentioned the name, holding his brush still over the canvas, and sharpens his ears to listen to the conversation she's holding with her friend.
"His name is Matsumoto and he's a journalist from Tokyo Himawari. And he's damned good looking, I tell you," the girl says.
This is when Ohno starts listening. The image of the man of his dreams pops up his mind and Ohno mentally notes that he indeed is damned good looking but at this point, he is still not sure if they are talking about his Matsumoto or someone else with that surname.
"He's been coming to the campus for a few days?" the other girl asked.
"Yes, around midday usually," the other confirmed. "It seems like he's searching for someone."
"Because he's working at a magazine?" OK, no doubt, they are talking about his Matsumoto, Ohno thinks, his heart skipping a beat. He's coming to the campus? "Maybe he wants to interview someone?"
"No," the first girl shakes her head, tilting it. "It seems he's searching for someone specific that he already did interview."
"Doesn't he have the number of that person? If they already met for an interview and such..." the other student wonders.
"It would make sense, right?" her friend asks. "But obviously not."
"Who is he searching for?"
"Someone called Ohno Satoko," the young woman explained.
Ohno blushes deeply, feeling his hand starting to tremble slightly. So Matsumoto is searching for him, here on the campus. Well, searching for his female version, that is. No wonder, he doesn't find Satoko, since she doesn't exist on the campus. A strange feeling of guilt waves through Ohno's body. It's not what he intended but it's obviously his fault that the young journalist is wasting his time getting here and searching for Satoko, and this just because Ohno let himself get carried away and wanted to follow this spontaneous, romantic idea of testing the potential love between yeah, him and someone who he believes is the reincarnation of his husband from centuries ago.
Feeling the trembling in his hands getting stronger, Ohno drops his hand with the brush, not caring about the paint dripping onto the with newspaper covered arts room floor. He tries to gulp down the heavy lump forming in his throat.
"She seems to be a student here at Seijo," the girl continues, pulling Ohno out of his thoughts again, making him cringe slightly before he turns his attention back to the girls. "But the strange thing is that there is no one with that name on the campus, nobody knows her and he even asked some professors."
"Eh? Then that person lied to him?" the other asked surprised.
No! Ohno screams mentally. He didn't lie to Matsumoto! It's just that - OK, maybe he kind of lied to him. Not about studying at Seijo at least. But Matsumoto thinks he is a woman and Ohno just realizes that he did not do anything to make him believe otherwise when they met. Because for himself it isn't a big deal. Because back then he was a woman and he felt too deep in this character, that he forgot the reality for a while. However, he should have considered that for other people it indeed could be a big deal. They define themselves and others through their gender. Just because something is the truth for Ohno, it doesn't mean it is the truth for everyone else and officially the only truth about Ohno is that he is a male student studying at Seijo and with the information he gave Matsumoto, the other will not be able to find him. But then, and this terrible thought only crosses Ohno's mind right now, what if Matsumoto finds out the truth and doesn't even want to find him any longer? Because he is actually not who he believes he is?
"Ah, Ohno-san?" one of the female students suddenly turns around and looks at the young man with big eyes.
Surprised, Ohno stiffens. "Eh? Yes?"
"I just realized that we are talking about someone with the same surname as yours and it might be naïve to ask but do you happen to know an Ohno Satoko?"
Ohno stares at the young woman for a second, thinking. Should he say yes? No? Pretend he doesn't know? Surprisingly, he feels the situation being more confusing and difficult than he thought it would be.
"Satomi, leave him alone, he's concentrated, can't you see it?" the other girl then cuts in before Ohno even forms the first half of his reply.
"True...," the student called Satomi says, a bit shocked. "I'm really sorry, Ohno-san. Please continue your work."
Ohno just nods slightly to signal that he is OK and the girl doesn't need to worry about it, but he is seriously relieved when the two students turn around again, leaving him in peace. With this he doesn't need to answer, doesn't need to think about the topic deeper than he wants. At least not for now.
- + -
Of course, in the end, the topic doesn't leave Ohno alone, coming back at him full force as the next day he strolls through the campus during lunch break, wanting to reach from the one building to the other and he spots that familiar face in the middle of the campus, searching. It's Matsumoto.
Ohno's heart jumps. The other man is still searching for him, it's like a dream. After listening to the rumours and stories his fellow students have to tell about the young good-looking journalist who's searching for that mysterious woman, of course, Ohno played with the thought of going out on the campus and meeting the other man. Just, that he feels like he cannot meet him the way he is at university. As a man. And even if, he wouldn't be able to tell the other that he is actually the same person as the one he is searching for.
However, Ohno just knows, he wants to meet him again. Wants to talk to him again. One way or the other. If it is as Satoko - but he couldn't come here as Satoko - or as who he is at the moment, even if it might mean that he will have to lie for a while.
In the end, the young arts student cannot hold back any longer, seeing the journalist asking students after students for the one he's searching and so, Ohno decides to approach the other man, finally.
He clears his throat as he stops right next to him and his voice - sounding a bit deeper than the voice he used for his appearance as Satoko - almost breaks from the nervousness. "Excuse me," he says, "Matsumoto-san right?"
The journalist turns around, his big brown eyes meeting Ohno's immediately. They look at each other for a moment that feels like an eternity for Ohno and he wonders if the other actually recognizes him. His heart beats fast and loud, up to his throat and it's like he cannot hear anything else than the bumping of his heart right now. He cannot read the look in Matsumoto's eyes, he thinks that there is a hint of recognition but is it possible? Ohno knows that he looks completely different without the female features, his short hair, no make-up on, nothing to be reminded of the beauty of his female side.
The moment is over faster than Ohno expected eternity to last, when suddenly he realizes that the look in Matsumoto's eyes is up and foremost confusion and surprise.
"Yes?" the man asks, wondering.
Ohno tries to gulp down his nervousness, wishing he could just disappear right now. But he has to talk to him. Now that he started the conversation, he actually has to talk to him, damned! He clears this throat. "You are searching for Ohno Satoko?"
"Oh my god, yes!" Matsumoto exclaims, immediately, his eyes flickering suddenly. "Don't tell me you know her?" He sounds so excited and Ohno just can find it adorable and cute.
"Well, I do," Ohno says and well, it isn't even a lie.
The excitement that replaces the confusion on Matsumoto's eyes now, makes Ohno's heart cringe.
"Really? Can you tell me where I can find her?" the young man asks enthusiastically.
"Well, Satoko is my... sister." OK, this is a lie.
"I see! Well, now that you mentioned it, you look kind of familiar, you even sound a bit like her, I bet you are twins," Matsumoto says, still excited. He's so cute, Ohno thinks.
"Yeah," the lie continues.
"So, is she here somewhere? Can you guide me to her?"
Ohno spots hope in Matsumoto's look. His heart cringes again.
"Well, fact is she isn't here today," he starts a bit sheepishly. "To be honest, she barely attends university, she's too busy with her job."
"The kabuki group?" the journalist supposes.
"Yeah," Ohno wonders when he will be able to stop this. He feels the spiral of lies drawing closer already.
"Will she come here soon?"
Ohno tilts his head, sheepishly. "I don't think so."
"I see," Matsumoto nods slowly, biting his lower lip slightly and Ohno can only look at the cute dark mole on the man's lips. "Sounds like she's really busy. Then, may I ask you for a favour? I wanted to give her this magazine before she buys it herself, it's from the interview I took with her, I'm sure you know about it as her brother."
"Ah, yeah, sure," Ohno nods hastily.
"I wanted her to have a copy," the journalist blushes a little as he reaches out his hands at the student, lowering his head a little. Too cute to be true, Ohno thinks. "Can you please give it to her?"
"Of course. Thank you very much," the other man takes the magazine, gladly, and for him it's weighing like a treasure.
"So I guess I have to search for her somewhere else," Matsumoto finally concludes. "She's going to the kabuki group regularly, isn't she? Do you know where they do their rehearsals?"
"Uhm... you want to try meeting her there?" Ohno asks a little surprised. He thought that with Matsumoto giving him the magazine, things are settled for the time being but it seems he miscalculated about the journalist.
"Sure. I have to see her again," the young man smiles enthusiastically and it makes Ohno's heart melt helplessly and he wishes he could just jump at the other, kissing him again like he did the last time they met. "Do you know the times when she's there?"
However, of course, Ohno cannot break his lie yet. He has to play along. "Uhm, I'm not sure."
"I guess I'll just try my luck after work then. Thank you very much," Matsumoto bows slightly, apologizing and ready to finally leave.
That's it, Ohno thinks, he's leaving. And of course, he doesn't want him to leave. He wants to reach his hand to tug on the journalist's shirt, to drag him to stay with him, even if just for a little while longer. But of course, that's not possible. Wouldn't it be strange? However, Ohno's lips move faster than his brain can think at the moment and so he calls the other, making him stop.
"Ah, Matsumoto-san, wait. Do you want me to give her your business card? I can't promise she'll call you but just in case."
"Oh, really? That would be great!" again there is this generous smile that makes Ohno's heart throb. "If she wants to contact me, I'd be happy. I really want to see her. I'll write my private cell phone number onto it, wait a second."
"I'll give her the card too then," the art student promises in a low voice.
"Thank you so much, Ohno-san," Matsumoto says and hurriedly reaches into his bag to fish for a business card and a pen. After scribbling his number onto the empty space on the back side, he hands the card to the other man carefully.
"It's nothing," Ohno shakes his head slightly.
"Really, you don't know what it means to me," the journalist bows again. "Good bye."
"Good bye."
Ohno takes a look at the business card in his hands, letting his thumb brush softly over the man's name, the kanji with the pine trees. His heart is still beating like crazy. Maybe it wouldn't be fate again that reunited Ohno and Matsumoto after that interview, but Matsumoto's persistence to find Satoko again and Ohno's inability to resist him. But that should be fine, too.
Chapter 3 - Part 1