je_united gift fic for ladyc2
je_united gift fic for ladyc2
Title: Make me fall
Pairing: Ryo x Ohkura, hints of Ryo x Maru and Yasu x Subaru
Rating: NC17 just to be safe, or R+.
Warnings: to the recipient: a long story awaits you here ahead. I swear it wasn’t this long while I was planning it in my mind, but it sort of “escaped” afterwards. I hope you don’t mind!
Summary: Ryo is a nerd with a secret identity. Ohkura is a guy who has a crush on a famous TV superhero. One day, they meet. Will Love Superman's tips be able to guide them towards one another?
Notes: The title includes a little pun which should become clear throughout the reading. I hope you enjoy it! Also, thanks a lot to the mods and my beta-reader for your precious help.
**
It's Monday morning, and Ryo is late.
He has fallen asleep at 3 a.m. in front of his computer during the latest video game testing session.
He has burnt his French toast during breakfast, cursing aloud.
He has even managed to miss two trains by an inch, before finally jumping on the third, out of breath already.
He slumps onto a seat, pulling out his earbuds from his pocket, hoping some music can restore such a messy day.
People around him seem unusually chatty today, especially the two guys who just grabbed the metro straps in front of him.
Ryo frowns behind his rimmed glasses; he goes through his backpack, as his smartphone seems nowhere to be found.
"Aw, Shochan... take a look," one of the two guys says to the other. "Isn't he the cutest?"
“Not my type, Tacchon, told ya~," his friend replies.
“I never said he's my type!"The first one squeals under his breath.
"Not to mention the ridiculous pink, shining outfit, c'mon...," the second guys adds, giggling.
Ryo suddenly freezes in his seat, both hands still inside the backpack on his lap.
"Do I have to remember you that half of your accessories are pink, Shochan?" the first guy replies, an unspoken reproach quite clear in his deep voice.
Ryo has given up about his smartphone. He dares looking up, quite slowly. The first guy is quite tall, with slightly wavy dark bangs falling over his eyes and some weird greenish dye marking a few strands.
His friend is way shorter, blond and wearing pretty mismatching and the least ordinary clothes Ryo has ever seen on a man.
Speaking of ridiculous outfits, he thinks, frowning heavily.
"But still, no pink latex outfit inside my closet, Tacchon, I swear," the short guy answers, poking his friend in the ribs and chuckling openly.
"Whatever. He's witty, anyway," the tall guy insists. "That's what I like best about him. You know I have a soft spot for that."
"So you're telling me those captivating black eyes of his never made you weak-kneed yet his witty brain does, is that so? Honestly?"
Ryo finds himself curious about the answer. But no answer comes from the tall guy, who's just biting his lower lip. And maybe, blushing, just a little bit.
"You're seriously weird, Tacchon," the short guy sighs. "Love Superman is just a TV character, don't make me say that once again, please. And please refrain from doing stupid things right now. You're still heartbroken after that other idiot dumped you last month, aren't you? I wouldn't recommend you to fall for Love Superman this time, despite his name."
"I've told you I haven't fallen for him!" The tall guy replies, almost offended, his voice rising to a high-pitched tone.
The short guy is giving him a knowing look, and Ryo cannot say he disagrees.
"I. am. not." the taller one insists, bending to meet his friend's gaze at eye level.
And then, the train stops at Ikebukuro and both guys quickly reach for the doors and go out, still comfortably chatting.
In his seat, Ryo scratches his forehead, under the dark bangs that keep falling over his eyes.
For some reason, he doesn't really notice the next train stop approaching, and he nearly misses it.
For some reason, he keeps thinking about the weird conversation he overheard on the train throughout the whole day, during his shift at the video game company he's in.
For some reason, he cannot forget it, not even when quite later on, that evening, he enters the broadcasting network, where he's expected to film the upcoming episode for his Love Superman show.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello Love Superman!
I've been dumped. Well, I know that happens quite often, I'm not exactly complaining, it's just... you know, I thought I loved this person. I thought I was loved back. Maybe there's something wrong with me after all. Maybe I'm too stubborn. Too much of a glutton, also? I don't know.
It's just... I've been feeling a bit down, lately. My friends keep saying I should just go on with my love life but somehow, I don't feel like it, right now. So... well, thanks for cheering me up all the time.
Sorry if you find this weird of me. I just wanted to say thanks properly.
Love,
Tadayoshi
*
Maru has just called Ryo to tell him he's so proud of the reply he gave to the latest e-mail he got, about a guy who just got dumped.
> 'This person did not deserve you, ne? Mmh, I'm sure of that. Just keep being positive. Smile. Smile again. The power of love will strike again when you least expect it'... whoah Ryochan, you were GREAT! < Maru beams over the phone, and Ryo giggles.
"Well, thanks but... It was you who started this, Maruchan," Ryo reminds him.
> But it was you who made Love Superman great, Ryochan! < Maru retorts. > When I first asked you to wear the sparkling outfit I had prepared for you with only my poor hands, I thought you were about to reject the idea, but you nevertheless put it on and we filmed you and... whoah, that was so funny, wasn't it? You looked so uncomfortable, yet sooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute! You looked the cutest, Ryochan. Seriously. I loved it. >
"Well... back then it was meant to be just something between you and me, Maruchan. Some private... prank," Ryo murmurs softly, losing himself deep in thoughts. They're just friends now, best friends actually, and there's no romance involved anymore.
Still, Maru is the most important person in his whole life. The most reliable one when he feels like complaining about something, the only one who won't never ever protest when Ryo calls him for some video game advice in the middle of the night, between a work shift and the other.
Whenever Ryo's fed up with the TV broadcast schedules of the show, Maru is there.
And Maru's unshakable faith in people is to be trusted.
"Maruchan, you know..."
> Mh? <
"Nevermind," Ryo trails off. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't feel like sharing the news of a fan of his spotted on the metro. He probably won't see him ever again, after all.
> Goodnight, Ryochan, < Maru replies, smiling over the phone.
*
Some weeks have passed, and Ryo is unusually late once again.
He cannot say he's fully surprised when the almost familiar faces of two guys board his very same train. But this time, Ryo has no intention of eavesdropping a single word.
It's embarrassing enough to meet a fan of his, he thinks, not to mention a fan who is not exactly like the children he sometimes see in the streets, mimicking Love Superman's silly poses and pouts.
He once saw a little boy wearing a Love Superman cosplay for Halloween, and the thought it made his heart unexpectedly warm.
Still, male adult fans are of some different kind.
Ryo had never thought that guys could actually feel such a immense attraction for his alias. Maybe even, well, find him attractive in such a ridiculous outfit.
So it's weird, the way Ryo keeps his eyes strangely locked to the two guys. To the taller one especially. He as such a nice silhouette, not too thin, not oversize either. Looking almost... soft, even. Maru would define him as hot, Ryo finds himself thinking, before blushing.
Well, I'm definitely not Maru.
But Ryo's eyes land on the tall stranger's butt right before the train stops and the two friends get off and Ryo realizes a book has just fallen from the bag the taller guy had placed on his right shoulder before getting off.
Ryo stands up suddenly, grabs the book and tries to call out for his attention, but in vain, because the sliding door closes before him and the tall stranger is gone, leaving his tiny book behind.
Ryo frowns, turning it over in his hands.
The Green Fingers Society
How to grow decorative plants
He dares flipping through the first pages, where he finds a name written in pencil, in elegant kanjis.
Tadayoshi Ohkura
Tadayoshi
Tadayoshi... where... ?
And then, memories fill Ryo's brain.
I just wanted to say thanks. Love, Tadayoshi
A coincidence?
Not, it cannot be.
Such an old style name, Ryo is sure he's never heard that name anywhere else before.
And that's when he realizes that the green-haired and decorative plants geek guy is not only a fan of Love Superman, but he's also the one who wrote to him and recently got a reply from the famous love hero.
*
Ryo's tempted into giving the book to the Lost & Found office.
But somehow, he cannot.
He knows it's risky to get involved with the very same guy who thinks -and maybe even dreams- of him as a hero in pink latex.
But despite his weird taste in men, said guy is attractive, to say the least. And Ryo has always had a thing for said nice guys. Cute, gentle Maru was the proof, after all.
So when Ryo leaves his own place quite late, during one cold autumn morning, he knows he's doing it on purpose, hoping-but-also-not he'll be able to spot the precious fanboy once again.
And there he is, with the petite blonde guy by his side as usual, wearing a checkered scarf today, his cheeks pink from the cold.
Ryo stares at him through his own thick glasses and the jacket lapel, the tiny book under his arm suddenly feeling like the heaviest and most burning burden ever.
Then he gathers all the guts that he, a former video game nerd and now game developer, has never gathered before, and walks over to stop in front of him and hand him the book.
"I'm... I'm sorry," Ryo fumbles with his words, unsure what to say, his eyes avoiding the young man's face. "I happened to notice you lost this a few days ago, here on the train. I know I should have handed it over to the Lost&Found office, but I thought... I thought it might be easier to give it straight back to you. I'm sorry if that was... inappropriate."
"Oh dear..." Ohkura replies in a thick voice, taking the book from Ryo's hands. "I seriously had no idea where the heck I had lost this, I've been looking for it, like, everywhere and still..."
Ryo looks up and meets Ohkura's dark eyes in the very same moment the guy's pouty lips murmur a sincere 'thank you', opening in a gorgeous smile then. For an endless instant, time flutters, and Ryo feels like flushing red, and does not know where he is anymore.
And then, the train comes to a halt and there's a hand demanding attention by shaking the hem of Ohkura's coat.
"Tacchon, we have to go," the blond friend whines, and the enchanted bubble is broken, and Ryo feels like a nerdy idiot again.
"You can go ahead, Shochan, I'll catch up in a minute," Ohkura tells him, not tearing his gaze away from Ryo yet.
"But-
"Please, Shochan," Ohkura insists, waving him off. "This person here... well I just want to say thanks properly..."
Ryo notices the little bodyguard is rolling his eyes with impatience, but he also gives up eventually and leaves, right before the door closes behind him.
"I'm... well, I'm honestly touched," Ohkura murmurs in a soft voice, while the corners of his mouth twitch merrily upwards.
"Oh, but, it's nothing, really," Ryo defends himself, "I didn't mean to... well you should join your friend now, I think, and-"
"No, please, let me treat you to something, please, er... how should I call-"
"Nishikido," Ryo says.
"Nishikido-san," Ohkura repeats, smiling again. "I’m Ohkura Tadayoshi, by the way. A coffee, maybe?"
"Sorry, but I don't drink coffee," Ryo quickly replies.
"Oh. But Starbucks has plenty of smoothies to choose from, anyway," Ohkura insists, with another charming smile.
He's trapped already, Ryo knows that, even before he nods.
He's decided that Ohkura's smile is infectious, among other things, and that he needs to see it again, so they agree on meeting up on Saturday morning. Ohkura says bye with his book proudly stuffed in his huge bag and the cutest pout ever on his lips. Ryo knows it's already too late to stop thinking that it won't be a date, because it feels like one, and Ryo keeps whistling an old tune all day, at work.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello!
It’s me again! I just wanted to say… it worked. Your advice, I mean.
I met the cutest person ever, with the (probably) sweetest soul ever.
I might be already… well, let’s see. But you’re to be trusted always, my hero.
YOU’RE THE BEST, LOVE SUPERMAN!!
I love you ♥
Tadayoshi
*
It's a rainy day, when they meet in Shibuya, and Ryo's drenched from head to toe, but finds Ohkura's equally wet hair and clothes rather charming and cute, instead.
He's curious, Ohkura. He wants to know something more about his saviour's life. But first, he explains to Ryo that he's just an ordinary guy working in a restaurant, sharing his shifts and apartment with his longtime friend Shota, who might not always be too happy about having tons of little decorative plants around their place. Nevertheless, Shota seems to love the way Ohkura cares for them, loves his cooking and the way he always keeps their rooms tidy. Ryo learns that Ohkura and Shota also share a passion for hair dyes, books and videogames, so it's with a huge, incredulous smile that the taller guy receives the news about Ryo's work, while Ryo would rather disappear from embarrassment behind his spectacles.
And while Ryo isn't a foodie, he can't take his eyes away from Ohkura's pouty lips as the young man blows on his black coffee while talking nonstop about the videogames he usually plays after his shift at the restaurant. The coffee vanishes in the blink of an eye, together with a huge slice of Pannacotta. And then there's a second helping and even a third, some weird Cappuccino macchiato Ohkura apparently cannot resist. Nor can Ryo, looking at the traces of whipped cream bleaching Ohkura's lips.
Ryo finds himself unexpectedly laughing, also, and he wonders why, given it's still raining cats and dogs when they separate at the entrance of the shop, lingering under the roof some more time than due.
Exchanging furtive glances.
Ryo knows he cannot make a move. He should let Ohkura go, before it's too late. But he can't.
He likes him. But he shouldn't. Ohkura's not mentioned his crush for Love Superman, but Ryo has all but forgotten the very first day he heard the guys talking about him. Not to mention the letters he constantly receives from him.
He hardly has the time to reply to some of his fans, sometimes. But he's promised himself he'd always treasure the affection people have for him as a love hero, and that's why he cannot leave any letter he receives without a public reply on television.
It's just that, lately, his fan Tadayoshi doesn't seem to be a public matter anymore. If only he knew.
"Would you find it gross, if I were to treat you to some homemade dinner at my place, tomorrow?"
Ryo jolts when Ohkura suddenly asks him out again.
The guy is looking casually at the heavy rainfall, and then at his feet, his wavy greenish hair falling over his eyes, hiding his expression.
"Do you wish me to find some other lost book of yours?" Ryo asks.
Ohkura bursts into a warm and loud laughter, a sound that fills Ryo's ears and brain and insides at the same time.
"No, sorry, I... I've just thought... I'd love to see you again. If you think it's not... inappropriate, you know," Ohkura replies, looking sideways at Ryo, who is honestly thinking what's so nice about a nerdy guy with messy bangs and thick glasses, because he doesn’t have Love Superman’s appeal right now, he's not cool at all. But Ohkura doesn’t know about that, and apparently he does not even care.
"Why would it be gross, to have a promising chef cook an awesomely meal for you?"
Ohkura chuckles.
"I'm not awesome and I cannot promise any awesome things. Yet. I'm just, well, experimenting," Ohkura tries to defend himself, shrugging.
"I can also promise that Yasu won't barge in, if you're worried about that," Ohkura replies. "He's not the hound he wants people to believe he is despite his tiny frame. He's just protective of me 99% of the time," Ohkura shrugs off. "Starting tomorrow, anyway, he'll be at his boyfriend's the whole weekend and they do usually shut themselves in there. If you know what I mean," Ohkura winks.
Ryo chuckles. There's something weird, about the way they do already seem so comfortable around each other, despite being almost strangers. Despite Ryo hiding a very big secret from him.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello,
I swear I'm not asking for advice this time, it's just... OMG. You're truly the God of superheroes.
As I said, I’ve met the cutest person ever. Seriously. And this happened just after I had written to you my pitiful sorrow and this is, whoah, so impressive of you!
I'm glad you cannot see my pink cheeks right now.
Aaaaaaaargh sorry, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to... well, I don't know. But I'm so grateful you're always there for us and our poor crumpled hearts.
Love, Tadayoshi
*
Ohkura is so charming that Ryo keeps forgetting seeing him as a fan of the hero in pink. He forgets about it every time they see each other, which starts happening more and more frequently, even just as friends, until Ohkura invites him to a music concert, together with his friends.
>A guy who's friends with Shochan provided us tickets for Metrock, the rock metropolitan festival held in Osaka and Tokyo around this period of time,< Ohkura explains over the phone.
>Wanna join us? You know, Shibuyan's also playing with a band there, and I've always been curious of seeing him live. I bet he rocks, that guy. <
Ohkura, who's changed into lavish blond straight bangs recently, does know quite well by now that Ryo is a fan of Spyair, a rock band who will attend the very same concert he's just been invited to. So, as soon as Ryo adjusts his glasses on his nose and checks the artists' names on his mobile, it's with a joyful cry he tells Ohkura he will be there, no matter what.
That very same day he should record some more Love Superman episodes, to tell the truth, but he calls his manager, the super scrupulous and super esteemed Matsumoto Jun, asking for a swap, at least for that day.
And when they're amidst the crowd of rockers jumping in sync with the astonishing music coming from the stage, with Sho shouting aloud all the lyrics and Ohkura making sure Ryo's frail frame won't get crushed by their neighbours fans by holding hands tight with him, Ryo doesn't remember having felt this warm inside before. Not even when Maru told him he found him the sexiest man on Earth.
Once they've said bye to the bizarre couple formed by a pixie Shota with blue hair and his cool boyfriend Subaru, Ohkura kisses Ryo on the way back from the izakaya they had stopped by for a quick dinner. Ryo can barely think at all, but some part of him notices that Ohkura tastes of beer, of something sweet, and intoxicating definitely. He tastes just amazing, and Ryo's hands roam up from his hips over the slender back of the blond guy he's clung to, settling on the guy's nape.
"How 'bout you stop by?" Ohkura murmurs, nipping at his earlobe.
Ryo feels dizzy. Totally besotted with him. The sensation of Ohkura's soft hair and the shaved nape beneath his fingertips sends gushes of heat straight to his groin. He can feel his blood cells spinning inside his veins, flooding his mind completely.
He wants to. He needs to. More of Ohkura.
He shouldn't want to. It feels like cheating already.
Ryo doesn't pull away from the making out , even if they're on some lone, public, dimly lit street and it's definitely not the way a shy nerd guy like him would normally act. He's used to hiding from the guy he is.
"How about it, ne, Ryo?" Ohkura asks again, before his luscious lips start playing it naughty down Ryo's throat. "I can swear there's only one embarrassing print hanging on my walls, if you're scared of what you might find in my room. And I can get rid of it in half a second’s time," Ohkura says. "I'm a simple guy, there's pretty nothing else in there."
"An ero print?" Ryo sniggers.
"Not really," Ohkura replies with a smug smile. "Much more a guy I do truly admire..."
Ryo freezes, and he's back to Planet Earth. Yeah. They've talked about it, and Ryo's tried to change the topic countless times.
"I'm sorry, I have to go now, Ohkura," Ryo whispers, with what little voice he's got left.
"Eh?" Ohkura blinks, unsure if he's heard it right.
Ryo bites his swollen lips.
"My shift at work starts in a hour, to tell the truth," he reveals. "I'd love to, Ohkura, but I don't think it's a good idea, you know, trying to concentrate on videogame strategies for new products when you've got the scent of a certain someone filling your nostrils..."
He blushes at his own words, and he's glad Ohkura flushes equally red, his eyelashes fluttering from embarrassment and desire at the same time.
There's another kiss sealing the unspoken pact for that day, for the time being. Ohkura's nose brushes gently against Ryo's, as if wishing to stop time somehow. It's his captivating gaze silently saying goodnight that Ryo's got before his own eyes, while he rushes throughout Tokyo as fast as he can.
Ryo does not even have the time to run home that night; he's due on television, that's what he had agreed with Jun before.
Some part of him is glad his secret identity is giving him an alibi, this time, to escape from the painful desire he's started feeling for Ohkura.
What if Ohkura's hands push the bangs over his forehead away?
What to do when Ohkura removes his glasses, seeing his eyes without their shield?
He'd have nowhere to hide. He'd be trapped, in love.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello Love Superman,
Well, I think you ought to know. I'm in love. So much.
I guess you'll smile with that supercute smile of yours, when reading this.
You deserve to. It's all thanks to you.
I'm in love.
Thanks♥
Tadayocchan
*
It all started out as a game between two friends and lovers, but the show keeps gaining viewers and attention.
Maru is the one who had the idea of transforming him into a silly love superhero, apparently.
Ryo does still remember their first silly episodes: Maru filmed him with some amateur camera and then they uploaded them all on YouTube. None of them expected thousands of viewers watching those Love Superman short sketches, in just a few hours' time.
After a television network contacted Maru through his YouTube profile, wishing for the comical hero to become way more popular on a dedicated TV show, things had become hectic and complicated at the same time, between the two of them.
They had had several arguments about it.
Ryo loved his work as a video game programmer and had no wish at all to become famous, while Maru thought his talent for sarcasm and humour did not have to go wasted. Their paths diverged, after that.
Maru had indeed started working in the entertainment industry as a professional photographer, while Ryo had agreed on taking on the comical sketch alone, with the help of the excellent manager Matsumoto, provided that he could keep his real identity a secret. It had proved to be easier than expected.
Nobody knew when or how the Love Superman episodes were filmed, and no one ever paid attention to the nerdy guy with glasses and a baseball cap entering the broadcasting station together with staff, late in the night mainly.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello!
It's me again, sorry... it sounds like I'm invading this column, really. I'm sorry.
I'm at a loss. I'm really, really into this person. But this person's sending me weird signals. I mean, we had the best date ever, we kissed, we were even about to... well, you know. But even after keeping dating, dating openly I mean, this person doesn't want to… er… It’s seriously embarrassing. And now I'm kinda... confused?
I'm so into this person, I seriously don't know how to deal with it.
Maybe... Am I rushing things, again?
Thanks. Sorry if I keep bothering you.
With love,
Tadayoshi
*
Ryo learns that it's hard to refrain from giving in, when you're helplessly in love with someone.
He's at Ohkura's place, and after a heated video game session he even lost, he agreed that Ohkura could have a well deserved prize of his own choice.
And said guy has just asked him for permission to take off his glasses.
Ryo blinks, taken rather aback, and without even noticing, he's hiding behind his bangs even more.
"I feel like it'd be easier to have you naked than without your glasses, and I really wonder why," Ohkura whispers, locking his intense gaze with Ryo's, and going back to his words almost immediately. "ARGH!!" he fumbles, "not that- I'm not saying you're an easy guy Ryo, I don't, I'd never-mh-"
Ryo shuts him up by kissing him fiercely.
"Have me naked, then," he exhales on the other's lips, coaxingly. Ohkura smiles, embarrassed, and takes him inside his bedroom, where a medium-size poster of a smiling Love Superman right beside the nearest wall welcomes Ryo, who quickly looks away.
But Ohkura doesn't seem to notice, not even when he pushes Ryo against the very same wall, to kiss him again, to kiss him more.
Ryo's glasses are indeed the last thing the taller guy removes from Ryo's trembling body, covered in caresses only, now.
Long fingers are scratching his skin and plump lips are kissing Ryo’s jaw, back and forth.
Ryo sighs, closing his lids.
He’ll be found out.
He's decided he doesn't care.
Ohkura's fallen for him. He knows he has.
He's also fallen for Tadayoshi Ohkura, and wants to be with him. With Ohkura, who is placing the softest of kisses on Ryo's eyebrow, taking his time contemplating Ryo’s features, while the latter heartbeat skips a beat.
“You’re so insanely beautiful, Ryo…”
Ryo blinks.
"But-"
"Shht," Ohkura cuts him off.
And Ryo surrenders.
He secretly hopes his blond lover will eventually find out the truth himself. He just wants to be himself. He just wants to be on the other side, for once. Not the one giving love advice to children, old grandpas, mothers living a second chance or just teenagers busy with a way too messy love life.
No, Ryo wishes that in Tadayoshi's arms, a guy who has quickly become more precious that he can even tell, he can be just the one being loved.
Ohkura has started exploring the sensitive skin inside Ryo's thighs with his lips as soon as he's gotten rid of his own clothes also, letting them fall at their feet.
Ryo has a hard time breathing.
He feels too horny right now to think about consequences; even less about how to deal with them. He caresses Tadayoshi's nape back and forth, clenching the blond straight bangs down Ohkura’s eyes every time his lover's long fingers stroke his hardness.
And then, it's Ohkura's mouth down there, his teeth carefully nipping at his hard member, until he feels too overwhelmingly hot, too dizzy, and Ryo growls his pleasure aloud, and Tadayoshi's offering him a cute, shy smile and a quick peck on the lips afterwards.
Would Love Superman judge him for giving in so easily to such a temptation?
Ryo isn't sure of anything anymore.
It's his turn, then. He climbs on his lover's luscious body and settles himself between Ohkura's legs, violently rocking his hips to hear Tadayoshi's beautiful voice spreading like an enchanted melody in the small room.
He wants to ride him hard, tell him he's not scared of being fucked to the bones, if it's awesome sex they're sharing. And it is.
Without his glasses, Ryo is short-sighted and his vision is blurred as always but for once, he doesn't care.
It's not only the way Ohkura looks, consumed with pleasure because of him, but also about his torn, unprecedented hoarse voice. Ryo likes the way Tadayoshi is talking to him while they're having sex, saying his name, saying he's impossibly cute and hot at the same time and wants him to make him feel even more into him, so intensely more.
He's talkative and Ryo, almost blind from sex, cannot say he doesn't appreciate the effort.
When Ohkura cries, when they're both over the edge, there's neither time nor place for any other thoughts anyway, anymore.
There are just ragged breaths, sticky skin, clouded eyes.
They end up kissing each other like crazy even after they're done, tightly embraced on Tadayoshi's futon.
Ohkura's long nose, the moles scattered all over his face, his intense gaze on him, they're all so near that Ryo does not have to worry about his glasses missing from the scene. He can't miss any detail of his lover's content face.
He's so close his faint scent smells like heaven and Ryo sighs, again.
Because it's like a dream vanishing into thin air.
"I have to go," he murmurs on Ohkura's throat, kissing it tenderly.
"Eh? Are you not going to spend the night?"
"Sorry... I really have to go. You know, my shift starts in a few hours," Ryo lies. He suddenly feels terrible, saying something like this. But he has yet to prepare his answers for the upcoming show and the filming is due in a few hours, after he'll be done at the video game company.
"Your shifts are really terrible, Ryochan," Tadayoshi whines, rolling over while Ryo leaves the bed. "And I'm missing you already," he adds, offering a pout so sweet Ryo wishes he could go back to his own words.
Ryo opens up in a cute, half-crooked smile that has Tadayoshi almost blinking at him in surprise. A smile he loves, that he seems to have seen somewhere else, but where?
When Ryo leaves, he doesn't see his lover rubbing his face pretty perplexed, wondering if he's just seeing things.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello!
You know that moment when you're so much in love that you wish you could wake up to seeing that pair of eyes you adore like crazy, and that only?
That moment exactly.
Deep, piercing eyes.
They're not here with me, in the morning. It's like dating Cinderella, sometimes.
Do you know the reason why, Love Superman?
Yours, Tadayoshi
*
Ryo is sitting on his bed, a deep furrow marking his eyebrows hidden by the usual mess of black bangs.
He's been unable to write down Love Superman's witty retorts to a few fans of his, lately. Tadayoshi included.
He's even printed some of the e-mails his boyfriend's sent to the hero in pink, in order to let his thoughts wander freely around, in order to grasp something very on point to say, without revealing anything of himself at the same time.
Their relationship has somehow gone public, even if neither Tadayoshi nor any of his television viewers are aware of that little detail. Being the object of those letters, Ryo feels embarrassed at the candour Tadayoshi is pouring into each of them. He's truly, genuinely in love. And so is the shy Ryo.
But he, as Love Superman, cannot tell Tadayoshi to stop writing to him. That's out of the question, that's not how it works.
So he just keeps sighing at those e-mails, reading and re-reading them until he eventually tucks them all behind his pillow, and falls asleep with a lingering smile on his lips.
*
"You know I've got a sort of crush on him, right?" Ohkura asks him during one evening they're spending in Shibuya, after Tadayoshi's shift at the restaurant. Ryo’s hand is hidden, entwined with Ohkura’s inside the pocket of his long coat.
A huge screen facing the train station is promoting the next episode of the hero in pink, and Ohkura is looking up, his eyes shining when seeing the huge smile of the hero.
"I think I know, yeah," Ryo replies, looking uncomfortably away.
"Mmmh... you aren't jealous, are you?" Ohkura tries to investigate, cocking his head to one side.
"He couldn’t date anyone, that guy, anyway," Ryo murmurs absentmindedly, right before Ohkura stops dead beside him.
"Why not?" the taller guy asks, with piercing eyes.
"Eh?"
"You said-"
"I was just... well, thinking," Ryo cuts him off, blushing. "If I were him... er, I don't know, I thought..."
"Mmh... as for me, on the contrary, I think he probably has some very strong woman by his side, and maybe even a brood of children and-"
"A woman?!" Ryo wails, shocked. "C-children?!"
"Yeah!" Ohkura laughs. "Don't you think he'd make a great daddy?"
"He's not that OLD!"
"You needn't be old to start your own family, ne~."
Ryo blinks, and Ohkura giggles again.
"Anyway, do you never wonder... who he really is?"
It's dangerous, the way Ohkura is talking right now. Ryo actually wonders, more than he wishes to, if their relationship is somehow implicitly at stake, whenever Tadayoshi brings the topic up. Even if it's stupid, because his boyfriend is obviously clueless.
"I don't think people would be pleased to know. He's probably better off like this."
"Well, I wouldn't be better off like that," Ohkura remarks. "Why do you think people love him this much?"
"Because he's an idiot in pink."
"Because behind the silly façade he's gentle, respectful and caring towards everyone. Because to him, it doesn't matter if it's about the first crush of a child or a woman cheating on three boyfriends at the same time, or a gay dude asking for love advice. They're equally important to him. He does not judge, he keeps being just honest with himself. Because love has no boundaries, no genres, no rules, respect set aside, and it's never ridiculous. Not even while wearing a pink suit. That's why I love him."
Ryo flushes red, and hides behind his spectacles.
"Have I said something embarrassing?" Tadayoshi pouts.
"No, it's just... you're so cute, Ohkura," Ryo blurts out. "And I don't think I do deserve you, most of the time."
Ohkura takes Ryo's other hand into his own, and squeezes it tight.
"Don't you ever say something like that ever again, Ryochan," he murmurs. "Remember the book you gave back to me? Your principles are the very same as Love Superman's. However, I'm pretty sure I'd have never noticed you to that extent that day, were I not so infatuated with what Love Superman has taught me so far."
Ryo is speechless. He feels like crying.
He's even more sure, now, he does not deserve someone like Tadayoshi.
"Ohkura... how about you stop by my place, tonight?" he asks, his voice cracked with emotion.
Ohkura does not reply. He simply holds Ryo tight, without a word, kissing the top of Ryo's head.
*
Unlike Tadayoshi's room, Ryo's glad there's nothing to hide in his own little apartment. Traces of a certain Love Superman actually living there are invisible for anyone to see, after all.
Ohkura giggles at the videogame boxes scattered all over the table in the tiny living room, peering at Ryo's notes and papers marked with his furious handwriting right beside them.
Their clothes don't make it to Ryo's bedroom, and neither do the lovers, with Ryo pushed down the sofa until Tadayoshi's lips are done with kissing him everywhere, bringing him over the peak of ecstasy. Ryo's sheets welcome them for a second round, and when they're both worn out from too much lust burnt on their spent bodies, they can't take off their eyes from each other's skin anyway.
Tadayoshi is still whispering words of adoration on Ryo's mouth when the latter's mobile phone starts ringing loudly, somewhere in the apartment. Ryo sighs. The ringtone tells him that it's the video game company calling, even that late in the night, and he has to disentangle himself from his lover, willing or not, so he scampers out the room, gesturing some excuse to Ohkura.
Tadayoshi stirs in the bed, rolling over as he's used to, losing himself in the scent of their lovemaking, holding the pillow as if it was his most favourite stuffed toy.
When Ryo comes back, he finds Ohkura sitting on the bed cross-legged, staring blankly at some printed papers.
It's already too late when Ryo realizes what it is, when he remembers having put those papers under the pillow and basically forgotten them there.
The e-mails he had received from Ohkura.
The e-mails Ohkura had sent to Love Superman.
Ryo can't move, and can't find the words either. He just walks closer, saying nothing, until he meets Ohkura's dark eyes looking up at him, filled with tears, disappointment and anger.
"I hope you had fun, Ryo," the taller guy hisses, throwing the papers at him, "because I did not."
"Wait, I can-"
"You can explain, maybe?" Ohkura cuts him off, standing up and retrieving his clothes, annoyed. "Why you deceived and lied to me all this time, you mean?" he goes on, his voice low and sharp like a razor. “Have you got the slightest idea of how I am feeling right now?! Have you?!Sorry if I don't think I want to listen to what you have to say. Sorry if I'm not interested in hearing anything from you anymore."
"Wait, Ohkura, I-"
"Please. Don't you dare look for me. Ever. Again." Ohkura says in a cold voice, looking at him with teary eyes but an extremely fierce expression at the same time.
He's on the threshold already, and he doesn't look back before he closes the door behind him, without even slamming it. Ryo wishes he could. Slam the door, exactly like he's just shattered Ohkura's heart and love and faith into pieces.
The first thing Ryo's left hand's able to grasp is a box of videogames beside a shelf; he pushes them down, making them all crash on the floor, and the terrible sound of broken plastic is soothing, to him, somehow.
Ryo walks like a robot to the bed, then curls up in there, in the sheets that are still smelling like Ohkura, like his intoxicating scent.
He takes the pillow, the traitor pillow, and starts biting it howling his despair, his shouts suffocated by the soft fabric.
He knows it's only his fault, for not telling his lover the truth behind the hero. The very same hero Tadayoshi happens to love so much.
He knows he should have taken the risk long ago, for Ohkura deserved to be told. Ohkura, his most genuine, candid and sweetest fan ever. His boyfriend.
He behaved like shit to the very person who least deserved his pettiness.
And suddenly, Ryo feels like being ripped from his own alter ego.
He preached at people to be bold and brave in love, but he himself didn't follow his own advice.
He's a liar.
He does not deserve wearing Love Superman's clothes, not at all.
And he's decided already.
The legend has come to an end.
*
It's been a few months already, and tons of people are still calling and writing to the office of the television network every day, in order to know when the Love Superman show will resume its airing. That terrible day Ryo just called Jun, and in his most collected voice he explained he was done with the hero, and apologized for any inconvenience his decision would cause afterwards. He didn't give any explanation to anyone, not even to Maru, not even a quick message for the press in order to let the huge uproar extinguish quickly.
The diligent Jun has been calling Ryo even more frequently, though. He’s even lurked at the door of Ryo’s apartment until he’s been able to have a talk with him, to explain that apart from the media ruckus, the network is asking for reasons because it’s losing money, tons of money from the sponsors who asked for compensation, after the disappearance of Love Superman.
Ryo is adamant in the matter. He’s told Jun he can have all the money back, all the money he’s gained thanks to the pink hero, in order to repay all of those people who had invested in him.
He’s never cared for the money anyway, but he doesn't want to hear about Love Superman anymore.
Love Superman does not exist anymore.
But Jun is as stubborn as he is, so once the financial issues are sort of settled, he keeps forwarding Ryo all the messages that his fans, and the children especially, are sending to their favourite hero in pink, asking him to come back soon and get better from his tough flu.
Ryo's never sent any press statement saying Love Superman was sick with flu, but he knows that can't be helped. Recent letters are wishing Love Superman all the best, with people saying they understand if their hero needs some relax time in order to get back to full health.
Ryo can't go back, though.
He's lost Ohkura because he's betrayed him. He cannot be Love Superman anymore.
He's texted him, called him endless times, asking for one minute of his attention. For some serious explanation.
Ohkura has never replied. Never picked up.
Ohkura has vanished from his life as if he had never existed, but Ryo can't forget how his life had become once Tadayoshi had started being a precious part of it.
He's realized, by now, what the only embarrassing reason was why he kept silent about his secret even with Ohkura.
“Ryochan”, Ohkura loved to call him, with endless tenderness wrapped around his own name. Not a superhero's one.
But in the end, it doesn't matter anymore. He's lost Ohkura anyway and his life has gone back to how it was before he'd met that handsome, cute, sweet, sexy and blunt foodie fanboy of his.
Maru keeps calling him, and Ryo keeps ignoring him and all his attempts to see him at home.
No, Ryo wants to be left alone with his mistakes, until he'll be ready to learn from them himself.
After ruthlessly deleting the last hundreds of messages that arrived yesterday, Ryo's incoming mailbox is unusually silent today.
He's actually wondering why he's still not canceled the hero's account when the screen suddenly displays a new message. Ryo gapes at it. He stares at the sender's address.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello.
Children in the metro, in the restaurants, in the shops... they all miss their favourite hero.
It's unfair to them.
When are we going to celebrate the comeback?
T.
*
Ryo cannot breath.
A thread.
Hope.
He's typing a reply even before he can think properly at what he should do, then deletes the whole message, then writes some other new words, then stops dead, looking at the monitor with blank eyes.
How to tell him? What to say to him? How to let him understand, why he acted like such an idiot? He's got no excuses anymore. Just half of a chance. Maybe.
He tries to call him with his mobile, hoping that this time Tadayoshi will pick up. But Ohkura does not.
Ryo misses him. More than he'd ever thought. Ryo considers those feelings and that pain, when he realizes he’ll need some time, in order to create the precious message, hoping it'll be read, sooner or later. Hoping there's still a chance for the two of them.
*
from: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
to: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
Hello.
Thanks for your concern.
I’ve been disrespectful towards a person, hence betraying the hero’s values.
I can’t go back.
I wish… I could see you one more time. Please. I wish we could meet. Because you deserve to be told the whole truth. Please.
Ryo.
Sorry, I meant… Nishikido Ryo. That’s me.
*
With his signature, for the first time ever, Ryo is replying in private to an email meant for Love Superman.
If the email is by chance some fake message, or a joke in bad taste, the whole world will know about his secret.
But he's already lost the most precious of things. He's ready to take the risk now.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Fine, then. Time, day and place.
Please let me know.
T.
*
from: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
to: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
At my place, if you don’t mind. Please, it’s… important. Really. Is... tomorrow okay for you? At 6 pm, maybe?
Ryo
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Ok. See you, then.
T.
*
In front of Ryo's apartment, Tadayoshi sighs heavily. He feels sort of a masochist, or maybe he's always been like that and never noticed so far, who knows. Ryo has hurt him more than once already, and he'll probably hurt him even more after this last meeting of theirs he agreed to. Still, Tadayoshi is there, and rings the doorbell.
The door opens after a while, with some rustling noise coming from inside. Tadayoshi goes in, but can't see anybody.
“Ryo? Where-“
“Hi,” a voice replies, and Tadayoshi notices a figure in the tiny hallway right after Ryo closes the door, and gapes loudly at what he sees.
When Ohkura catches a glimpse of the outfit, his hand runs up to cover his mouth, gasping from surprise and embarrassment.
Ryo is standing arms-crossed and hair slicked back in front of him, wearing the trademark glittering pink suit, short red pants and matching boots and cloak, the red infinity symbol with the yellow background on his chest and belt. The embarrassed expression on his face is there, as well.
The compromise was simple, Jun had said when Ryo had asked him to have the pink outfit back: a last video message for his fans, an open letter coming from the hero this time. And Ryo had done as asked, wishing his fans could forgive him and his choice, one day.
The message is due to air in a few days, Tadayoshi is among all of those people who are not aware of the sad surprise yet.
They stare at each other for a long moment, with Ohkura pursing his lips and Ryo praying he won't have to suddenly run after a shocked Tadayoshi dressed like that, because, the heck.
But for the time being, Ohkura just keeps brushing the tip of his nose with the back of his fingers, unsure what to say.
Ryo notices Ohkura's hair is of some mousy shade, with darker roots visible underneath. He doesn't look healthy, his cheeks are quite hollow and there is no gleam visible in his dark eyes. Ryo wonders if it's all his fault, or if Ohkura is already so past him that he’s been living and maybe suffering from some new love already. He’s clueless. With Love Superman being gone, their connection has broken.
“Er… please have a sit,” Ryo suddenly offers, gesturing to the nearby couch they both know so well.
“I won't be stopping by for long,” Tadayoshi coldly replies, not moving of an inch.“Please go ahead, Ryo. I just came to listen politely, this time.” He seems to have gained his composure back, so Ryo takes a deep breath and talks.
“O-okay, I… well, it’s the last time you will be seeing me like this. Love Superman won’t come back, I have betrayed his principles. You probably can't remember it; the first time I ever spotted you in the metro, you were talking with your friend Shota about Love Superman," Ryo says.
Tadayoshi can’t help but cock his head to one side, frowning and trying hard to remember, and that simple gesture makes Ryo chuckle.
"Sorry, that was so cute... and so freaking unexpected. Hell knows how much I didn't want to butt in. I had never searched for contact with any of my fans… they wouldn’t be delighted to know who their hero really was. But then, you lost your book, and I happened to notice, and I gave it back to you and you asked me out of nowhere and... I don't know, we were dating even before I could fully realize how dangerous it was.
I know I'm the very last one who can give people love advice, in the end, but that's who I am,” Ryo goes on, gesturing to the embarrassing pink outfit. “He's a part, a precious part of me indeed. But the Ryo you got to know, the nerd, the shy one, is the other real me. I've thought about telling you the truth for so long, but every time we met, you looked at me with such sweet eyes that... I lost courage.
I kept behaving like an asshole right when you were the last person on Earth who did deserve it. I wanted to tell you, every time we met I thought I needed to tell you before things would turn too hectic but in the end... I couldn't. I never had the guts. Because I honestly didn't know how to tell you, when I myself was... I was helplessly falling for you as well, and in the meantime you seemed to be seeing me as the one I am, meaning a nerd, not any special guy anyway. Not a superhero at all.
I have been a fool to crush your genuine love by revealing I was none other than your… well, your craziest wet dream. To overshadow the shy, nerdy Ryo with the allure of the man in pink, right?
I was so fucking scared of ruining everything. I was the only one doing so terribly wrong.
And in the end, I guess it couldn't be helped. What happened between us, I mean, with you finding out the truth in the worst possible way. I'm so terribly sorry, Ohkura, I'm... I'm so sorry. I know you can’t and you will never believe it, but I swear I never, never meant to hurt you, even if I ended up humiliating you like this. I'm sorry."
Tadayoshi has kept their eyes locked all the time, but now Ryo can't stand his piercing gaze anymore, and looks away.
“You read my letters, all of them,” Ohkura says, bitter. “You've known about my feelings from the very beginning.”
“Yes,” Ryo admits. “But I've never hidden mine either, from the very beginning. Not that I’m searching for excuses, anyway. Of all things, I wanted you to know that," he says. "I know it cannot change what happened and I'm still the biggest asshole ever. But I wanted you to know that. Thanks for coming all the way down just for hearing this speech of mine, dressed up in my ridiculous superhero outfit. That means a lot to me," Ryo concludes, bowing.
All of sudden, Tadayoshi chuckles. Ryo knows he's not being forgiven, but he cannot help feeling healed by the sound of that beautiful melody of Tadayoshi’s voice, laughing so sweetly.
"This is indeed the longest speech I've ever heard from you. The nerdy, hermetic, impossibly cute Nishikido Ryo."
And what Ryo realizes next, is that he's being hugged tremendously tight by Tadayoshi's strong arms, and those arms are so warm and his scent so familiar and intoxicating that he feels like crying. For real.
"Idiot, you're an idiot," he can hear Tadayoshi whisper, his hands gripping on Ryo's red latex cloak, caressing his slicked hair.
"I-I don't want… I don’t want you to forgive me," Ryo stutters. He knows it's so bad, allowing himself to be embraced this tenderly when they're about to separate from each other once again and forever, but he cannot help it.
"You needn't being forgiven, Ryo. I just wish I had been able to notice way sooner," Ohkura says, his voice muffled on Ryo’s hair.
“Eh?” Ryo gasps.
"I SHOULD have noticed sooner, darn… you share the same cute, embarrassed smile, the shyness, those beautiful dark eyes. The same voice, even, the moles, yet I never... I never, never realized they were the same,” Ohkura murmurs.“I was so lost in you I never noticed any of those details. But I should have. That would have prevented a way too embarrassing... well, outburst. Sorry.”
“But- “
“It’s true, I felt at a loss,” Ohkura admits. “I had not only lost my boyfriend, but also the guy I was used to entrust my love problems to. I lost everything in just one row. I felt like you had ripped my everything out of me, and it hurt like hell. And, you know, Shota asked me why I had dumped you and I couldn’t… tell him the truth, either. I didn’t want your secret to be exposed to anyone else, even if it’s my best friend we’re talking about. That’s when I realized how hard it must have been for you. Every damn day, with every damn people you’d butt in. That’s when I realized I’m also at fault, because if you didn’t feel confident enough to entrust me with your secret, that means I had not proved to you enough, the way I feel for you, Ryochan.”
"I betrayed your faith," Ryo insists, "I don't deserve-"
"You don't deserve what? I was just angry, Ryochan. Yeah, maybe I had all the right reasons for being angry, but if there's something these long months made me realize, it's that it was only my pride speaking. I missed you so much, Ryo. Because apparently, you and your pink alias have been part of my life long before I even knew myself…”
Ryo tightens his grip on Ohkura’s shoulder, holding back the tears.
“So you never… you didn’t see anyone else during-“
“Nope,” Ohkura cuts him off. “How could I? Haven’t you see how terrible I look? And I don’t even care, if you’re not out there to peer deeply into me every time I go for some new hairstyle, to check if I’m always the same inside. And maybe, I don’t know, maybe I’m also not interesting to your eyes anymore…”
Ryo pulls back from the embrace and looks up at Tadayoshi. He’s got dark rings under his eyes, and his hazelnut orbs are pretty teary.
“Are you insane?!” Ryo protests. “I was about to ask you if you reckon it would be possible for us to start anew, Ohkura!”
The taller guy snorts and chuckles.
"Don't call me Ohkura, please," he says, "it feels terribly... distant. I'm just Tadayoshi to you. I’ve always been. Please."
Ohkura cups his cheeks, and it's suddenly Tadayoshi's lips on Ryo's. Tentatively, but not really trembling. And when Ryo gives in to the make-out session that follows, the taller guy's hands start roaming down Ryo's pink fitting sleeves, around his hips, groping his butt through the red fabric. Ryo gasps from sheer pleasure, instinctively rubbing against Ohkura for more contact.
"You're so hot," Tadayoshi's voice confesses against Ryo’s lips.
Ryo doesn't feel any sexy when wearing the ridiculous costume, but it must provoke weird effects on Ohkura indeed, because he's biting every inch of the naked skin down Ryo’s neck he can reach while caressing him thoroughly.
“Do you think I could get rid of this outfit of yours?” Ohkura asks. “I hate saying this, but it doesn’t seem very cushy for lovemaking.”
Ryo bursts out laughing, like he hasn't done for too long, and Ohkura grins at his glee, and leaves endless kisses on his mouth.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t stop by for long,” Ryo teases.
“Oh, did I?”
“Yeah, you did.”
“It seems I’m also ahuge liar, then,” Ohkura muses, pouting.
“You really lost so much weight,” Ryo considers, caressing Tadayoshi’s cheek.
“Mmh. I think Love Superman could recommend a cure for my terrible disease, but I don’t know if this is the case…”
Ryo grins, and pulls Ohkura down to him, until the tips of their noses are softly brushing against each other and he can murmur soft words on the unusually chapped lips.
“Close your eyes, Tadayoshi.”
“You won’t disappear, will you? You promise?”
“Quite the contrary. Love Superman will take care.”
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Dear Love Superman,
You’re the living proof miracles can happen, ne?
Thanks for choosing to come back to us.
You were missed quite much. Welcome back.
Eternally yours,
Tadayoshi
Ps: Yeah, in case you were wondering.. I’m still madly in love. And it’s all thanks to you, of course♥.
*
Title: Make me fall
Pairing: Ryo x Ohkura, hints of Ryo x Maru and Yasu x Subaru
Rating: NC17 just to be safe, or R+.
Warnings: to the recipient: a long story awaits you here ahead. I swear it wasn’t this long while I was planning it in my mind, but it sort of “escaped” afterwards. I hope you don’t mind!
Summary: Ryo is a nerd with a secret identity. Ohkura is a guy who has a crush on a famous TV superhero. One day, they meet. Will Love Superman's tips be able to guide them towards one another?
Notes: The title includes a little pun which should become clear throughout the reading. I hope you enjoy it! Also, thanks a lot to the mods and my beta-reader for your precious help.
**
It's Monday morning, and Ryo is late.
He has fallen asleep at 3 a.m. in front of his computer during the latest video game testing session.
He has burnt his French toast during breakfast, cursing aloud.
He has even managed to miss two trains by an inch, before finally jumping on the third, out of breath already.
He slumps onto a seat, pulling out his earbuds from his pocket, hoping some music can restore such a messy day.
People around him seem unusually chatty today, especially the two guys who just grabbed the metro straps in front of him.
Ryo frowns behind his rimmed glasses; he goes through his backpack, as his smartphone seems nowhere to be found.
"Aw, Shochan... take a look," one of the two guys says to the other. "Isn't he the cutest?"
“Not my type, Tacchon, told ya~," his friend replies.
“I never said he's my type!"The first one squeals under his breath.
"Not to mention the ridiculous pink, shining outfit, c'mon...," the second guys adds, giggling.
Ryo suddenly freezes in his seat, both hands still inside the backpack on his lap.
"Do I have to remember you that half of your accessories are pink, Shochan?" the first guy replies, an unspoken reproach quite clear in his deep voice.
Ryo has given up about his smartphone. He dares looking up, quite slowly. The first guy is quite tall, with slightly wavy dark bangs falling over his eyes and some weird greenish dye marking a few strands.
His friend is way shorter, blond and wearing pretty mismatching and the least ordinary clothes Ryo has ever seen on a man.
Speaking of ridiculous outfits, he thinks, frowning heavily.
"But still, no pink latex outfit inside my closet, Tacchon, I swear," the short guy answers, poking his friend in the ribs and chuckling openly.
"Whatever. He's witty, anyway," the tall guy insists. "That's what I like best about him. You know I have a soft spot for that."
"So you're telling me those captivating black eyes of his never made you weak-kneed yet his witty brain does, is that so? Honestly?"
Ryo finds himself curious about the answer. But no answer comes from the tall guy, who's just biting his lower lip. And maybe, blushing, just a little bit.
"You're seriously weird, Tacchon," the short guy sighs. "Love Superman is just a TV character, don't make me say that once again, please. And please refrain from doing stupid things right now. You're still heartbroken after that other idiot dumped you last month, aren't you? I wouldn't recommend you to fall for Love Superman this time, despite his name."
"I've told you I haven't fallen for him!" The tall guy replies, almost offended, his voice rising to a high-pitched tone.
The short guy is giving him a knowing look, and Ryo cannot say he disagrees.
"I. am. not." the taller one insists, bending to meet his friend's gaze at eye level.
And then, the train stops at Ikebukuro and both guys quickly reach for the doors and go out, still comfortably chatting.
In his seat, Ryo scratches his forehead, under the dark bangs that keep falling over his eyes.
For some reason, he doesn't really notice the next train stop approaching, and he nearly misses it.
For some reason, he keeps thinking about the weird conversation he overheard on the train throughout the whole day, during his shift at the video game company he's in.
For some reason, he cannot forget it, not even when quite later on, that evening, he enters the broadcasting network, where he's expected to film the upcoming episode for his Love Superman show.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello Love Superman!
I've been dumped. Well, I know that happens quite often, I'm not exactly complaining, it's just... you know, I thought I loved this person. I thought I was loved back. Maybe there's something wrong with me after all. Maybe I'm too stubborn. Too much of a glutton, also? I don't know.
It's just... I've been feeling a bit down, lately. My friends keep saying I should just go on with my love life but somehow, I don't feel like it, right now. So... well, thanks for cheering me up all the time.
Sorry if you find this weird of me. I just wanted to say thanks properly.
Love,
Tadayoshi
*
Maru has just called Ryo to tell him he's so proud of the reply he gave to the latest e-mail he got, about a guy who just got dumped.
> 'This person did not deserve you, ne? Mmh, I'm sure of that. Just keep being positive. Smile. Smile again. The power of love will strike again when you least expect it'... whoah Ryochan, you were GREAT! < Maru beams over the phone, and Ryo giggles.
"Well, thanks but... It was you who started this, Maruchan," Ryo reminds him.
> But it was you who made Love Superman great, Ryochan! < Maru retorts. > When I first asked you to wear the sparkling outfit I had prepared for you with only my poor hands, I thought you were about to reject the idea, but you nevertheless put it on and we filmed you and... whoah, that was so funny, wasn't it? You looked so uncomfortable, yet sooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute! You looked the cutest, Ryochan. Seriously. I loved it. >
"Well... back then it was meant to be just something between you and me, Maruchan. Some private... prank," Ryo murmurs softly, losing himself deep in thoughts. They're just friends now, best friends actually, and there's no romance involved anymore.
Still, Maru is the most important person in his whole life. The most reliable one when he feels like complaining about something, the only one who won't never ever protest when Ryo calls him for some video game advice in the middle of the night, between a work shift and the other.
Whenever Ryo's fed up with the TV broadcast schedules of the show, Maru is there.
And Maru's unshakable faith in people is to be trusted.
"Maruchan, you know..."
> Mh? <
"Nevermind," Ryo trails off. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't feel like sharing the news of a fan of his spotted on the metro. He probably won't see him ever again, after all.
> Goodnight, Ryochan, < Maru replies, smiling over the phone.
*
Some weeks have passed, and Ryo is unusually late once again.
He cannot say he's fully surprised when the almost familiar faces of two guys board his very same train. But this time, Ryo has no intention of eavesdropping a single word.
It's embarrassing enough to meet a fan of his, he thinks, not to mention a fan who is not exactly like the children he sometimes see in the streets, mimicking Love Superman's silly poses and pouts.
He once saw a little boy wearing a Love Superman cosplay for Halloween, and the thought it made his heart unexpectedly warm.
Still, male adult fans are of some different kind.
Ryo had never thought that guys could actually feel such a immense attraction for his alias. Maybe even, well, find him attractive in such a ridiculous outfit.
So it's weird, the way Ryo keeps his eyes strangely locked to the two guys. To the taller one especially. He as such a nice silhouette, not too thin, not oversize either. Looking almost... soft, even. Maru would define him as hot, Ryo finds himself thinking, before blushing.
Well, I'm definitely not Maru.
But Ryo's eyes land on the tall stranger's butt right before the train stops and the two friends get off and Ryo realizes a book has just fallen from the bag the taller guy had placed on his right shoulder before getting off.
Ryo stands up suddenly, grabs the book and tries to call out for his attention, but in vain, because the sliding door closes before him and the tall stranger is gone, leaving his tiny book behind.
Ryo frowns, turning it over in his hands.
The Green Fingers Society
How to grow decorative plants
He dares flipping through the first pages, where he finds a name written in pencil, in elegant kanjis.
Tadayoshi Ohkura
Tadayoshi
Tadayoshi... where... ?
And then, memories fill Ryo's brain.
I just wanted to say thanks. Love, Tadayoshi
A coincidence?
Not, it cannot be.
Such an old style name, Ryo is sure he's never heard that name anywhere else before.
And that's when he realizes that the green-haired and decorative plants geek guy is not only a fan of Love Superman, but he's also the one who wrote to him and recently got a reply from the famous love hero.
*
Ryo's tempted into giving the book to the Lost & Found office.
But somehow, he cannot.
He knows it's risky to get involved with the very same guy who thinks -and maybe even dreams- of him as a hero in pink latex.
But despite his weird taste in men, said guy is attractive, to say the least. And Ryo has always had a thing for said nice guys. Cute, gentle Maru was the proof, after all.
So when Ryo leaves his own place quite late, during one cold autumn morning, he knows he's doing it on purpose, hoping-but-also-not he'll be able to spot the precious fanboy once again.
And there he is, with the petite blonde guy by his side as usual, wearing a checkered scarf today, his cheeks pink from the cold.
Ryo stares at him through his own thick glasses and the jacket lapel, the tiny book under his arm suddenly feeling like the heaviest and most burning burden ever.
Then he gathers all the guts that he, a former video game nerd and now game developer, has never gathered before, and walks over to stop in front of him and hand him the book.
"I'm... I'm sorry," Ryo fumbles with his words, unsure what to say, his eyes avoiding the young man's face. "I happened to notice you lost this a few days ago, here on the train. I know I should have handed it over to the Lost&Found office, but I thought... I thought it might be easier to give it straight back to you. I'm sorry if that was... inappropriate."
"Oh dear..." Ohkura replies in a thick voice, taking the book from Ryo's hands. "I seriously had no idea where the heck I had lost this, I've been looking for it, like, everywhere and still..."
Ryo looks up and meets Ohkura's dark eyes in the very same moment the guy's pouty lips murmur a sincere 'thank you', opening in a gorgeous smile then. For an endless instant, time flutters, and Ryo feels like flushing red, and does not know where he is anymore.
And then, the train comes to a halt and there's a hand demanding attention by shaking the hem of Ohkura's coat.
"Tacchon, we have to go," the blond friend whines, and the enchanted bubble is broken, and Ryo feels like a nerdy idiot again.
"You can go ahead, Shochan, I'll catch up in a minute," Ohkura tells him, not tearing his gaze away from Ryo yet.
"But-
"Please, Shochan," Ohkura insists, waving him off. "This person here... well I just want to say thanks properly..."
Ryo notices the little bodyguard is rolling his eyes with impatience, but he also gives up eventually and leaves, right before the door closes behind him.
"I'm... well, I'm honestly touched," Ohkura murmurs in a soft voice, while the corners of his mouth twitch merrily upwards.
"Oh, but, it's nothing, really," Ryo defends himself, "I didn't mean to... well you should join your friend now, I think, and-"
"No, please, let me treat you to something, please, er... how should I call-"
"Nishikido," Ryo says.
"Nishikido-san," Ohkura repeats, smiling again. "I’m Ohkura Tadayoshi, by the way. A coffee, maybe?"
"Sorry, but I don't drink coffee," Ryo quickly replies.
"Oh. But Starbucks has plenty of smoothies to choose from, anyway," Ohkura insists, with another charming smile.
He's trapped already, Ryo knows that, even before he nods.
He's decided that Ohkura's smile is infectious, among other things, and that he needs to see it again, so they agree on meeting up on Saturday morning. Ohkura says bye with his book proudly stuffed in his huge bag and the cutest pout ever on his lips. Ryo knows it's already too late to stop thinking that it won't be a date, because it feels like one, and Ryo keeps whistling an old tune all day, at work.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello!
It’s me again! I just wanted to say… it worked. Your advice, I mean.
I met the cutest person ever, with the (probably) sweetest soul ever.
I might be already… well, let’s see. But you’re to be trusted always, my hero.
YOU’RE THE BEST, LOVE SUPERMAN!!
I love you ♥
Tadayoshi
*
It's a rainy day, when they meet in Shibuya, and Ryo's drenched from head to toe, but finds Ohkura's equally wet hair and clothes rather charming and cute, instead.
He's curious, Ohkura. He wants to know something more about his saviour's life. But first, he explains to Ryo that he's just an ordinary guy working in a restaurant, sharing his shifts and apartment with his longtime friend Shota, who might not always be too happy about having tons of little decorative plants around their place. Nevertheless, Shota seems to love the way Ohkura cares for them, loves his cooking and the way he always keeps their rooms tidy. Ryo learns that Ohkura and Shota also share a passion for hair dyes, books and videogames, so it's with a huge, incredulous smile that the taller guy receives the news about Ryo's work, while Ryo would rather disappear from embarrassment behind his spectacles.
And while Ryo isn't a foodie, he can't take his eyes away from Ohkura's pouty lips as the young man blows on his black coffee while talking nonstop about the videogames he usually plays after his shift at the restaurant. The coffee vanishes in the blink of an eye, together with a huge slice of Pannacotta. And then there's a second helping and even a third, some weird Cappuccino macchiato Ohkura apparently cannot resist. Nor can Ryo, looking at the traces of whipped cream bleaching Ohkura's lips.
Ryo finds himself unexpectedly laughing, also, and he wonders why, given it's still raining cats and dogs when they separate at the entrance of the shop, lingering under the roof some more time than due.
Exchanging furtive glances.
Ryo knows he cannot make a move. He should let Ohkura go, before it's too late. But he can't.
He likes him. But he shouldn't. Ohkura's not mentioned his crush for Love Superman, but Ryo has all but forgotten the very first day he heard the guys talking about him. Not to mention the letters he constantly receives from him.
He hardly has the time to reply to some of his fans, sometimes. But he's promised himself he'd always treasure the affection people have for him as a love hero, and that's why he cannot leave any letter he receives without a public reply on television.
It's just that, lately, his fan Tadayoshi doesn't seem to be a public matter anymore. If only he knew.
"Would you find it gross, if I were to treat you to some homemade dinner at my place, tomorrow?"
Ryo jolts when Ohkura suddenly asks him out again.
The guy is looking casually at the heavy rainfall, and then at his feet, his wavy greenish hair falling over his eyes, hiding his expression.
"Do you wish me to find some other lost book of yours?" Ryo asks.
Ohkura bursts into a warm and loud laughter, a sound that fills Ryo's ears and brain and insides at the same time.
"No, sorry, I... I've just thought... I'd love to see you again. If you think it's not... inappropriate, you know," Ohkura replies, looking sideways at Ryo, who is honestly thinking what's so nice about a nerdy guy with messy bangs and thick glasses, because he doesn’t have Love Superman’s appeal right now, he's not cool at all. But Ohkura doesn’t know about that, and apparently he does not even care.
"Why would it be gross, to have a promising chef cook an awesomely meal for you?"
Ohkura chuckles.
"I'm not awesome and I cannot promise any awesome things. Yet. I'm just, well, experimenting," Ohkura tries to defend himself, shrugging.
"I can also promise that Yasu won't barge in, if you're worried about that," Ohkura replies. "He's not the hound he wants people to believe he is despite his tiny frame. He's just protective of me 99% of the time," Ohkura shrugs off. "Starting tomorrow, anyway, he'll be at his boyfriend's the whole weekend and they do usually shut themselves in there. If you know what I mean," Ohkura winks.
Ryo chuckles. There's something weird, about the way they do already seem so comfortable around each other, despite being almost strangers. Despite Ryo hiding a very big secret from him.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello,
I swear I'm not asking for advice this time, it's just... OMG. You're truly the God of superheroes.
As I said, I’ve met the cutest person ever. Seriously. And this happened just after I had written to you my pitiful sorrow and this is, whoah, so impressive of you!
I'm glad you cannot see my pink cheeks right now.
Aaaaaaaargh sorry, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to... well, I don't know. But I'm so grateful you're always there for us and our poor crumpled hearts.
Love, Tadayoshi
*
Ohkura is so charming that Ryo keeps forgetting seeing him as a fan of the hero in pink. He forgets about it every time they see each other, which starts happening more and more frequently, even just as friends, until Ohkura invites him to a music concert, together with his friends.
>A guy who's friends with Shochan provided us tickets for Metrock, the rock metropolitan festival held in Osaka and Tokyo around this period of time,< Ohkura explains over the phone.
>Wanna join us? You know, Shibuyan's also playing with a band there, and I've always been curious of seeing him live. I bet he rocks, that guy. <
Ohkura, who's changed into lavish blond straight bangs recently, does know quite well by now that Ryo is a fan of Spyair, a rock band who will attend the very same concert he's just been invited to. So, as soon as Ryo adjusts his glasses on his nose and checks the artists' names on his mobile, it's with a joyful cry he tells Ohkura he will be there, no matter what.
That very same day he should record some more Love Superman episodes, to tell the truth, but he calls his manager, the super scrupulous and super esteemed Matsumoto Jun, asking for a swap, at least for that day.
And when they're amidst the crowd of rockers jumping in sync with the astonishing music coming from the stage, with Sho shouting aloud all the lyrics and Ohkura making sure Ryo's frail frame won't get crushed by their neighbours fans by holding hands tight with him, Ryo doesn't remember having felt this warm inside before. Not even when Maru told him he found him the sexiest man on Earth.
Once they've said bye to the bizarre couple formed by a pixie Shota with blue hair and his cool boyfriend Subaru, Ohkura kisses Ryo on the way back from the izakaya they had stopped by for a quick dinner. Ryo can barely think at all, but some part of him notices that Ohkura tastes of beer, of something sweet, and intoxicating definitely. He tastes just amazing, and Ryo's hands roam up from his hips over the slender back of the blond guy he's clung to, settling on the guy's nape.
"How 'bout you stop by?" Ohkura murmurs, nipping at his earlobe.
Ryo feels dizzy. Totally besotted with him. The sensation of Ohkura's soft hair and the shaved nape beneath his fingertips sends gushes of heat straight to his groin. He can feel his blood cells spinning inside his veins, flooding his mind completely.
He wants to. He needs to. More of Ohkura.
He shouldn't want to. It feels like cheating already.
Ryo doesn't pull away from the making out , even if they're on some lone, public, dimly lit street and it's definitely not the way a shy nerd guy like him would normally act. He's used to hiding from the guy he is.
"How about it, ne, Ryo?" Ohkura asks again, before his luscious lips start playing it naughty down Ryo's throat. "I can swear there's only one embarrassing print hanging on my walls, if you're scared of what you might find in my room. And I can get rid of it in half a second’s time," Ohkura says. "I'm a simple guy, there's pretty nothing else in there."
"An ero print?" Ryo sniggers.
"Not really," Ohkura replies with a smug smile. "Much more a guy I do truly admire..."
Ryo freezes, and he's back to Planet Earth. Yeah. They've talked about it, and Ryo's tried to change the topic countless times.
"I'm sorry, I have to go now, Ohkura," Ryo whispers, with what little voice he's got left.
"Eh?" Ohkura blinks, unsure if he's heard it right.
Ryo bites his swollen lips.
"My shift at work starts in a hour, to tell the truth," he reveals. "I'd love to, Ohkura, but I don't think it's a good idea, you know, trying to concentrate on videogame strategies for new products when you've got the scent of a certain someone filling your nostrils..."
He blushes at his own words, and he's glad Ohkura flushes equally red, his eyelashes fluttering from embarrassment and desire at the same time.
There's another kiss sealing the unspoken pact for that day, for the time being. Ohkura's nose brushes gently against Ryo's, as if wishing to stop time somehow. It's his captivating gaze silently saying goodnight that Ryo's got before his own eyes, while he rushes throughout Tokyo as fast as he can.
Ryo does not even have the time to run home that night; he's due on television, that's what he had agreed with Jun before.
Some part of him is glad his secret identity is giving him an alibi, this time, to escape from the painful desire he's started feeling for Ohkura.
What if Ohkura's hands push the bangs over his forehead away?
What to do when Ohkura removes his glasses, seeing his eyes without their shield?
He'd have nowhere to hide. He'd be trapped, in love.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello Love Superman,
Well, I think you ought to know. I'm in love. So much.
I guess you'll smile with that supercute smile of yours, when reading this.
You deserve to. It's all thanks to you.
I'm in love.
Thanks♥
Tadayocchan
*
It all started out as a game between two friends and lovers, but the show keeps gaining viewers and attention.
Maru is the one who had the idea of transforming him into a silly love superhero, apparently.
Ryo does still remember their first silly episodes: Maru filmed him with some amateur camera and then they uploaded them all on YouTube. None of them expected thousands of viewers watching those Love Superman short sketches, in just a few hours' time.
After a television network contacted Maru through his YouTube profile, wishing for the comical hero to become way more popular on a dedicated TV show, things had become hectic and complicated at the same time, between the two of them.
They had had several arguments about it.
Ryo loved his work as a video game programmer and had no wish at all to become famous, while Maru thought his talent for sarcasm and humour did not have to go wasted. Their paths diverged, after that.
Maru had indeed started working in the entertainment industry as a professional photographer, while Ryo had agreed on taking on the comical sketch alone, with the help of the excellent manager Matsumoto, provided that he could keep his real identity a secret. It had proved to be easier than expected.
Nobody knew when or how the Love Superman episodes were filmed, and no one ever paid attention to the nerdy guy with glasses and a baseball cap entering the broadcasting station together with staff, late in the night mainly.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello!
It's me again, sorry... it sounds like I'm invading this column, really. I'm sorry.
I'm at a loss. I'm really, really into this person. But this person's sending me weird signals. I mean, we had the best date ever, we kissed, we were even about to... well, you know. But even after keeping dating, dating openly I mean, this person doesn't want to… er… It’s seriously embarrassing. And now I'm kinda... confused?
I'm so into this person, I seriously don't know how to deal with it.
Maybe... Am I rushing things, again?
Thanks. Sorry if I keep bothering you.
With love,
Tadayoshi
*
Ryo learns that it's hard to refrain from giving in, when you're helplessly in love with someone.
He's at Ohkura's place, and after a heated video game session he even lost, he agreed that Ohkura could have a well deserved prize of his own choice.
And said guy has just asked him for permission to take off his glasses.
Ryo blinks, taken rather aback, and without even noticing, he's hiding behind his bangs even more.
"I feel like it'd be easier to have you naked than without your glasses, and I really wonder why," Ohkura whispers, locking his intense gaze with Ryo's, and going back to his words almost immediately. "ARGH!!" he fumbles, "not that- I'm not saying you're an easy guy Ryo, I don't, I'd never-mh-"
Ryo shuts him up by kissing him fiercely.
"Have me naked, then," he exhales on the other's lips, coaxingly. Ohkura smiles, embarrassed, and takes him inside his bedroom, where a medium-size poster of a smiling Love Superman right beside the nearest wall welcomes Ryo, who quickly looks away.
But Ohkura doesn't seem to notice, not even when he pushes Ryo against the very same wall, to kiss him again, to kiss him more.
Ryo's glasses are indeed the last thing the taller guy removes from Ryo's trembling body, covered in caresses only, now.
Long fingers are scratching his skin and plump lips are kissing Ryo’s jaw, back and forth.
Ryo sighs, closing his lids.
He’ll be found out.
He's decided he doesn't care.
Ohkura's fallen for him. He knows he has.
He's also fallen for Tadayoshi Ohkura, and wants to be with him. With Ohkura, who is placing the softest of kisses on Ryo's eyebrow, taking his time contemplating Ryo’s features, while the latter heartbeat skips a beat.
“You’re so insanely beautiful, Ryo…”
Ryo blinks.
"But-"
"Shht," Ohkura cuts him off.
And Ryo surrenders.
He secretly hopes his blond lover will eventually find out the truth himself. He just wants to be himself. He just wants to be on the other side, for once. Not the one giving love advice to children, old grandpas, mothers living a second chance or just teenagers busy with a way too messy love life.
No, Ryo wishes that in Tadayoshi's arms, a guy who has quickly become more precious that he can even tell, he can be just the one being loved.
Ohkura has started exploring the sensitive skin inside Ryo's thighs with his lips as soon as he's gotten rid of his own clothes also, letting them fall at their feet.
Ryo has a hard time breathing.
He feels too horny right now to think about consequences; even less about how to deal with them. He caresses Tadayoshi's nape back and forth, clenching the blond straight bangs down Ohkura’s eyes every time his lover's long fingers stroke his hardness.
And then, it's Ohkura's mouth down there, his teeth carefully nipping at his hard member, until he feels too overwhelmingly hot, too dizzy, and Ryo growls his pleasure aloud, and Tadayoshi's offering him a cute, shy smile and a quick peck on the lips afterwards.
Would Love Superman judge him for giving in so easily to such a temptation?
Ryo isn't sure of anything anymore.
It's his turn, then. He climbs on his lover's luscious body and settles himself between Ohkura's legs, violently rocking his hips to hear Tadayoshi's beautiful voice spreading like an enchanted melody in the small room.
He wants to ride him hard, tell him he's not scared of being fucked to the bones, if it's awesome sex they're sharing. And it is.
Without his glasses, Ryo is short-sighted and his vision is blurred as always but for once, he doesn't care.
It's not only the way Ohkura looks, consumed with pleasure because of him, but also about his torn, unprecedented hoarse voice. Ryo likes the way Tadayoshi is talking to him while they're having sex, saying his name, saying he's impossibly cute and hot at the same time and wants him to make him feel even more into him, so intensely more.
He's talkative and Ryo, almost blind from sex, cannot say he doesn't appreciate the effort.
When Ohkura cries, when they're both over the edge, there's neither time nor place for any other thoughts anyway, anymore.
There are just ragged breaths, sticky skin, clouded eyes.
They end up kissing each other like crazy even after they're done, tightly embraced on Tadayoshi's futon.
Ohkura's long nose, the moles scattered all over his face, his intense gaze on him, they're all so near that Ryo does not have to worry about his glasses missing from the scene. He can't miss any detail of his lover's content face.
He's so close his faint scent smells like heaven and Ryo sighs, again.
Because it's like a dream vanishing into thin air.
"I have to go," he murmurs on Ohkura's throat, kissing it tenderly.
"Eh? Are you not going to spend the night?"
"Sorry... I really have to go. You know, my shift starts in a few hours," Ryo lies. He suddenly feels terrible, saying something like this. But he has yet to prepare his answers for the upcoming show and the filming is due in a few hours, after he'll be done at the video game company.
"Your shifts are really terrible, Ryochan," Tadayoshi whines, rolling over while Ryo leaves the bed. "And I'm missing you already," he adds, offering a pout so sweet Ryo wishes he could go back to his own words.
Ryo opens up in a cute, half-crooked smile that has Tadayoshi almost blinking at him in surprise. A smile he loves, that he seems to have seen somewhere else, but where?
When Ryo leaves, he doesn't see his lover rubbing his face pretty perplexed, wondering if he's just seeing things.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello!
You know that moment when you're so much in love that you wish you could wake up to seeing that pair of eyes you adore like crazy, and that only?
That moment exactly.
Deep, piercing eyes.
They're not here with me, in the morning. It's like dating Cinderella, sometimes.
Do you know the reason why, Love Superman?
Yours, Tadayoshi
*
Ryo is sitting on his bed, a deep furrow marking his eyebrows hidden by the usual mess of black bangs.
He's been unable to write down Love Superman's witty retorts to a few fans of his, lately. Tadayoshi included.
He's even printed some of the e-mails his boyfriend's sent to the hero in pink, in order to let his thoughts wander freely around, in order to grasp something very on point to say, without revealing anything of himself at the same time.
Their relationship has somehow gone public, even if neither Tadayoshi nor any of his television viewers are aware of that little detail. Being the object of those letters, Ryo feels embarrassed at the candour Tadayoshi is pouring into each of them. He's truly, genuinely in love. And so is the shy Ryo.
But he, as Love Superman, cannot tell Tadayoshi to stop writing to him. That's out of the question, that's not how it works.
So he just keeps sighing at those e-mails, reading and re-reading them until he eventually tucks them all behind his pillow, and falls asleep with a lingering smile on his lips.
*
"You know I've got a sort of crush on him, right?" Ohkura asks him during one evening they're spending in Shibuya, after Tadayoshi's shift at the restaurant. Ryo’s hand is hidden, entwined with Ohkura’s inside the pocket of his long coat.
A huge screen facing the train station is promoting the next episode of the hero in pink, and Ohkura is looking up, his eyes shining when seeing the huge smile of the hero.
"I think I know, yeah," Ryo replies, looking uncomfortably away.
"Mmmh... you aren't jealous, are you?" Ohkura tries to investigate, cocking his head to one side.
"He couldn’t date anyone, that guy, anyway," Ryo murmurs absentmindedly, right before Ohkura stops dead beside him.
"Why not?" the taller guy asks, with piercing eyes.
"Eh?"
"You said-"
"I was just... well, thinking," Ryo cuts him off, blushing. "If I were him... er, I don't know, I thought..."
"Mmh... as for me, on the contrary, I think he probably has some very strong woman by his side, and maybe even a brood of children and-"
"A woman?!" Ryo wails, shocked. "C-children?!"
"Yeah!" Ohkura laughs. "Don't you think he'd make a great daddy?"
"He's not that OLD!"
"You needn't be old to start your own family, ne~."
Ryo blinks, and Ohkura giggles again.
"Anyway, do you never wonder... who he really is?"
It's dangerous, the way Ohkura is talking right now. Ryo actually wonders, more than he wishes to, if their relationship is somehow implicitly at stake, whenever Tadayoshi brings the topic up. Even if it's stupid, because his boyfriend is obviously clueless.
"I don't think people would be pleased to know. He's probably better off like this."
"Well, I wouldn't be better off like that," Ohkura remarks. "Why do you think people love him this much?"
"Because he's an idiot in pink."
"Because behind the silly façade he's gentle, respectful and caring towards everyone. Because to him, it doesn't matter if it's about the first crush of a child or a woman cheating on three boyfriends at the same time, or a gay dude asking for love advice. They're equally important to him. He does not judge, he keeps being just honest with himself. Because love has no boundaries, no genres, no rules, respect set aside, and it's never ridiculous. Not even while wearing a pink suit. That's why I love him."
Ryo flushes red, and hides behind his spectacles.
"Have I said something embarrassing?" Tadayoshi pouts.
"No, it's just... you're so cute, Ohkura," Ryo blurts out. "And I don't think I do deserve you, most of the time."
Ohkura takes Ryo's other hand into his own, and squeezes it tight.
"Don't you ever say something like that ever again, Ryochan," he murmurs. "Remember the book you gave back to me? Your principles are the very same as Love Superman's. However, I'm pretty sure I'd have never noticed you to that extent that day, were I not so infatuated with what Love Superman has taught me so far."
Ryo is speechless. He feels like crying.
He's even more sure, now, he does not deserve someone like Tadayoshi.
"Ohkura... how about you stop by my place, tonight?" he asks, his voice cracked with emotion.
Ohkura does not reply. He simply holds Ryo tight, without a word, kissing the top of Ryo's head.
*
Unlike Tadayoshi's room, Ryo's glad there's nothing to hide in his own little apartment. Traces of a certain Love Superman actually living there are invisible for anyone to see, after all.
Ohkura giggles at the videogame boxes scattered all over the table in the tiny living room, peering at Ryo's notes and papers marked with his furious handwriting right beside them.
Their clothes don't make it to Ryo's bedroom, and neither do the lovers, with Ryo pushed down the sofa until Tadayoshi's lips are done with kissing him everywhere, bringing him over the peak of ecstasy. Ryo's sheets welcome them for a second round, and when they're both worn out from too much lust burnt on their spent bodies, they can't take off their eyes from each other's skin anyway.
Tadayoshi is still whispering words of adoration on Ryo's mouth when the latter's mobile phone starts ringing loudly, somewhere in the apartment. Ryo sighs. The ringtone tells him that it's the video game company calling, even that late in the night, and he has to disentangle himself from his lover, willing or not, so he scampers out the room, gesturing some excuse to Ohkura.
Tadayoshi stirs in the bed, rolling over as he's used to, losing himself in the scent of their lovemaking, holding the pillow as if it was his most favourite stuffed toy.
When Ryo comes back, he finds Ohkura sitting on the bed cross-legged, staring blankly at some printed papers.
It's already too late when Ryo realizes what it is, when he remembers having put those papers under the pillow and basically forgotten them there.
The e-mails he had received from Ohkura.
The e-mails Ohkura had sent to Love Superman.
Ryo can't move, and can't find the words either. He just walks closer, saying nothing, until he meets Ohkura's dark eyes looking up at him, filled with tears, disappointment and anger.
"I hope you had fun, Ryo," the taller guy hisses, throwing the papers at him, "because I did not."
"Wait, I can-"
"You can explain, maybe?" Ohkura cuts him off, standing up and retrieving his clothes, annoyed. "Why you deceived and lied to me all this time, you mean?" he goes on, his voice low and sharp like a razor. “Have you got the slightest idea of how I am feeling right now?! Have you?!Sorry if I don't think I want to listen to what you have to say. Sorry if I'm not interested in hearing anything from you anymore."
"Wait, Ohkura, I-"
"Please. Don't you dare look for me. Ever. Again." Ohkura says in a cold voice, looking at him with teary eyes but an extremely fierce expression at the same time.
He's on the threshold already, and he doesn't look back before he closes the door behind him, without even slamming it. Ryo wishes he could. Slam the door, exactly like he's just shattered Ohkura's heart and love and faith into pieces.
The first thing Ryo's left hand's able to grasp is a box of videogames beside a shelf; he pushes them down, making them all crash on the floor, and the terrible sound of broken plastic is soothing, to him, somehow.
Ryo walks like a robot to the bed, then curls up in there, in the sheets that are still smelling like Ohkura, like his intoxicating scent.
He takes the pillow, the traitor pillow, and starts biting it howling his despair, his shouts suffocated by the soft fabric.
He knows it's only his fault, for not telling his lover the truth behind the hero. The very same hero Tadayoshi happens to love so much.
He knows he should have taken the risk long ago, for Ohkura deserved to be told. Ohkura, his most genuine, candid and sweetest fan ever. His boyfriend.
He behaved like shit to the very person who least deserved his pettiness.
And suddenly, Ryo feels like being ripped from his own alter ego.
He preached at people to be bold and brave in love, but he himself didn't follow his own advice.
He's a liar.
He does not deserve wearing Love Superman's clothes, not at all.
And he's decided already.
The legend has come to an end.
*
It's been a few months already, and tons of people are still calling and writing to the office of the television network every day, in order to know when the Love Superman show will resume its airing. That terrible day Ryo just called Jun, and in his most collected voice he explained he was done with the hero, and apologized for any inconvenience his decision would cause afterwards. He didn't give any explanation to anyone, not even to Maru, not even a quick message for the press in order to let the huge uproar extinguish quickly.
The diligent Jun has been calling Ryo even more frequently, though. He’s even lurked at the door of Ryo’s apartment until he’s been able to have a talk with him, to explain that apart from the media ruckus, the network is asking for reasons because it’s losing money, tons of money from the sponsors who asked for compensation, after the disappearance of Love Superman.
Ryo is adamant in the matter. He’s told Jun he can have all the money back, all the money he’s gained thanks to the pink hero, in order to repay all of those people who had invested in him.
He’s never cared for the money anyway, but he doesn't want to hear about Love Superman anymore.
Love Superman does not exist anymore.
But Jun is as stubborn as he is, so once the financial issues are sort of settled, he keeps forwarding Ryo all the messages that his fans, and the children especially, are sending to their favourite hero in pink, asking him to come back soon and get better from his tough flu.
Ryo's never sent any press statement saying Love Superman was sick with flu, but he knows that can't be helped. Recent letters are wishing Love Superman all the best, with people saying they understand if their hero needs some relax time in order to get back to full health.
Ryo can't go back, though.
He's lost Ohkura because he's betrayed him. He cannot be Love Superman anymore.
He's texted him, called him endless times, asking for one minute of his attention. For some serious explanation.
Ohkura has never replied. Never picked up.
Ohkura has vanished from his life as if he had never existed, but Ryo can't forget how his life had become once Tadayoshi had started being a precious part of it.
He's realized, by now, what the only embarrassing reason was why he kept silent about his secret even with Ohkura.
“Ryochan”, Ohkura loved to call him, with endless tenderness wrapped around his own name. Not a superhero's one.
But in the end, it doesn't matter anymore. He's lost Ohkura anyway and his life has gone back to how it was before he'd met that handsome, cute, sweet, sexy and blunt foodie fanboy of his.
Maru keeps calling him, and Ryo keeps ignoring him and all his attempts to see him at home.
No, Ryo wants to be left alone with his mistakes, until he'll be ready to learn from them himself.
After ruthlessly deleting the last hundreds of messages that arrived yesterday, Ryo's incoming mailbox is unusually silent today.
He's actually wondering why he's still not canceled the hero's account when the screen suddenly displays a new message. Ryo gapes at it. He stares at the sender's address.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Hello.
Children in the metro, in the restaurants, in the shops... they all miss their favourite hero.
It's unfair to them.
When are we going to celebrate the comeback?
T.
*
Ryo cannot breath.
A thread.
Hope.
He's typing a reply even before he can think properly at what he should do, then deletes the whole message, then writes some other new words, then stops dead, looking at the monitor with blank eyes.
How to tell him? What to say to him? How to let him understand, why he acted like such an idiot? He's got no excuses anymore. Just half of a chance. Maybe.
He tries to call him with his mobile, hoping that this time Tadayoshi will pick up. But Ohkura does not.
Ryo misses him. More than he'd ever thought. Ryo considers those feelings and that pain, when he realizes he’ll need some time, in order to create the precious message, hoping it'll be read, sooner or later. Hoping there's still a chance for the two of them.
*
from: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
to: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
Hello.
Thanks for your concern.
I’ve been disrespectful towards a person, hence betraying the hero’s values.
I can’t go back.
I wish… I could see you one more time. Please. I wish we could meet. Because you deserve to be told the whole truth. Please.
Ryo.
Sorry, I meant… Nishikido Ryo. That’s me.
*
With his signature, for the first time ever, Ryo is replying in private to an email meant for Love Superman.
If the email is by chance some fake message, or a joke in bad taste, the whole world will know about his secret.
But he's already lost the most precious of things. He's ready to take the risk now.
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Fine, then. Time, day and place.
Please let me know.
T.
*
from: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
to: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
At my place, if you don’t mind. Please, it’s… important. Really. Is... tomorrow okay for you? At 6 pm, maybe?
Ryo
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Ok. See you, then.
T.
*
In front of Ryo's apartment, Tadayoshi sighs heavily. He feels sort of a masochist, or maybe he's always been like that and never noticed so far, who knows. Ryo has hurt him more than once already, and he'll probably hurt him even more after this last meeting of theirs he agreed to. Still, Tadayoshi is there, and rings the doorbell.
The door opens after a while, with some rustling noise coming from inside. Tadayoshi goes in, but can't see anybody.
“Ryo? Where-“
“Hi,” a voice replies, and Tadayoshi notices a figure in the tiny hallway right after Ryo closes the door, and gapes loudly at what he sees.
When Ohkura catches a glimpse of the outfit, his hand runs up to cover his mouth, gasping from surprise and embarrassment.
Ryo is standing arms-crossed and hair slicked back in front of him, wearing the trademark glittering pink suit, short red pants and matching boots and cloak, the red infinity symbol with the yellow background on his chest and belt. The embarrassed expression on his face is there, as well.
The compromise was simple, Jun had said when Ryo had asked him to have the pink outfit back: a last video message for his fans, an open letter coming from the hero this time. And Ryo had done as asked, wishing his fans could forgive him and his choice, one day.
The message is due to air in a few days, Tadayoshi is among all of those people who are not aware of the sad surprise yet.
They stare at each other for a long moment, with Ohkura pursing his lips and Ryo praying he won't have to suddenly run after a shocked Tadayoshi dressed like that, because, the heck.
But for the time being, Ohkura just keeps brushing the tip of his nose with the back of his fingers, unsure what to say.
Ryo notices Ohkura's hair is of some mousy shade, with darker roots visible underneath. He doesn't look healthy, his cheeks are quite hollow and there is no gleam visible in his dark eyes. Ryo wonders if it's all his fault, or if Ohkura is already so past him that he’s been living and maybe suffering from some new love already. He’s clueless. With Love Superman being gone, their connection has broken.
“Er… please have a sit,” Ryo suddenly offers, gesturing to the nearby couch they both know so well.
“I won't be stopping by for long,” Tadayoshi coldly replies, not moving of an inch.“Please go ahead, Ryo. I just came to listen politely, this time.” He seems to have gained his composure back, so Ryo takes a deep breath and talks.
“O-okay, I… well, it’s the last time you will be seeing me like this. Love Superman won’t come back, I have betrayed his principles. You probably can't remember it; the first time I ever spotted you in the metro, you were talking with your friend Shota about Love Superman," Ryo says.
Tadayoshi can’t help but cock his head to one side, frowning and trying hard to remember, and that simple gesture makes Ryo chuckle.
"Sorry, that was so cute... and so freaking unexpected. Hell knows how much I didn't want to butt in. I had never searched for contact with any of my fans… they wouldn’t be delighted to know who their hero really was. But then, you lost your book, and I happened to notice, and I gave it back to you and you asked me out of nowhere and... I don't know, we were dating even before I could fully realize how dangerous it was.
I know I'm the very last one who can give people love advice, in the end, but that's who I am,” Ryo goes on, gesturing to the embarrassing pink outfit. “He's a part, a precious part of me indeed. But the Ryo you got to know, the nerd, the shy one, is the other real me. I've thought about telling you the truth for so long, but every time we met, you looked at me with such sweet eyes that... I lost courage.
I kept behaving like an asshole right when you were the last person on Earth who did deserve it. I wanted to tell you, every time we met I thought I needed to tell you before things would turn too hectic but in the end... I couldn't. I never had the guts. Because I honestly didn't know how to tell you, when I myself was... I was helplessly falling for you as well, and in the meantime you seemed to be seeing me as the one I am, meaning a nerd, not any special guy anyway. Not a superhero at all.
I have been a fool to crush your genuine love by revealing I was none other than your… well, your craziest wet dream. To overshadow the shy, nerdy Ryo with the allure of the man in pink, right?
I was so fucking scared of ruining everything. I was the only one doing so terribly wrong.
And in the end, I guess it couldn't be helped. What happened between us, I mean, with you finding out the truth in the worst possible way. I'm so terribly sorry, Ohkura, I'm... I'm so sorry. I know you can’t and you will never believe it, but I swear I never, never meant to hurt you, even if I ended up humiliating you like this. I'm sorry."
Tadayoshi has kept their eyes locked all the time, but now Ryo can't stand his piercing gaze anymore, and looks away.
“You read my letters, all of them,” Ohkura says, bitter. “You've known about my feelings from the very beginning.”
“Yes,” Ryo admits. “But I've never hidden mine either, from the very beginning. Not that I’m searching for excuses, anyway. Of all things, I wanted you to know that," he says. "I know it cannot change what happened and I'm still the biggest asshole ever. But I wanted you to know that. Thanks for coming all the way down just for hearing this speech of mine, dressed up in my ridiculous superhero outfit. That means a lot to me," Ryo concludes, bowing.
All of sudden, Tadayoshi chuckles. Ryo knows he's not being forgiven, but he cannot help feeling healed by the sound of that beautiful melody of Tadayoshi’s voice, laughing so sweetly.
"This is indeed the longest speech I've ever heard from you. The nerdy, hermetic, impossibly cute Nishikido Ryo."
And what Ryo realizes next, is that he's being hugged tremendously tight by Tadayoshi's strong arms, and those arms are so warm and his scent so familiar and intoxicating that he feels like crying. For real.
"Idiot, you're an idiot," he can hear Tadayoshi whisper, his hands gripping on Ryo's red latex cloak, caressing his slicked hair.
"I-I don't want… I don’t want you to forgive me," Ryo stutters. He knows it's so bad, allowing himself to be embraced this tenderly when they're about to separate from each other once again and forever, but he cannot help it.
"You needn't being forgiven, Ryo. I just wish I had been able to notice way sooner," Ohkura says, his voice muffled on Ryo’s hair.
“Eh?” Ryo gasps.
"I SHOULD have noticed sooner, darn… you share the same cute, embarrassed smile, the shyness, those beautiful dark eyes. The same voice, even, the moles, yet I never... I never, never realized they were the same,” Ohkura murmurs.“I was so lost in you I never noticed any of those details. But I should have. That would have prevented a way too embarrassing... well, outburst. Sorry.”
“But- “
“It’s true, I felt at a loss,” Ohkura admits. “I had not only lost my boyfriend, but also the guy I was used to entrust my love problems to. I lost everything in just one row. I felt like you had ripped my everything out of me, and it hurt like hell. And, you know, Shota asked me why I had dumped you and I couldn’t… tell him the truth, either. I didn’t want your secret to be exposed to anyone else, even if it’s my best friend we’re talking about. That’s when I realized how hard it must have been for you. Every damn day, with every damn people you’d butt in. That’s when I realized I’m also at fault, because if you didn’t feel confident enough to entrust me with your secret, that means I had not proved to you enough, the way I feel for you, Ryochan.”
"I betrayed your faith," Ryo insists, "I don't deserve-"
"You don't deserve what? I was just angry, Ryochan. Yeah, maybe I had all the right reasons for being angry, but if there's something these long months made me realize, it's that it was only my pride speaking. I missed you so much, Ryo. Because apparently, you and your pink alias have been part of my life long before I even knew myself…”
Ryo tightens his grip on Ohkura’s shoulder, holding back the tears.
“So you never… you didn’t see anyone else during-“
“Nope,” Ohkura cuts him off. “How could I? Haven’t you see how terrible I look? And I don’t even care, if you’re not out there to peer deeply into me every time I go for some new hairstyle, to check if I’m always the same inside. And maybe, I don’t know, maybe I’m also not interesting to your eyes anymore…”
Ryo pulls back from the embrace and looks up at Tadayoshi. He’s got dark rings under his eyes, and his hazelnut orbs are pretty teary.
“Are you insane?!” Ryo protests. “I was about to ask you if you reckon it would be possible for us to start anew, Ohkura!”
The taller guy snorts and chuckles.
"Don't call me Ohkura, please," he says, "it feels terribly... distant. I'm just Tadayoshi to you. I’ve always been. Please."
Ohkura cups his cheeks, and it's suddenly Tadayoshi's lips on Ryo's. Tentatively, but not really trembling. And when Ryo gives in to the make-out session that follows, the taller guy's hands start roaming down Ryo's pink fitting sleeves, around his hips, groping his butt through the red fabric. Ryo gasps from sheer pleasure, instinctively rubbing against Ohkura for more contact.
"You're so hot," Tadayoshi's voice confesses against Ryo’s lips.
Ryo doesn't feel any sexy when wearing the ridiculous costume, but it must provoke weird effects on Ohkura indeed, because he's biting every inch of the naked skin down Ryo’s neck he can reach while caressing him thoroughly.
“Do you think I could get rid of this outfit of yours?” Ohkura asks. “I hate saying this, but it doesn’t seem very cushy for lovemaking.”
Ryo bursts out laughing, like he hasn't done for too long, and Ohkura grins at his glee, and leaves endless kisses on his mouth.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t stop by for long,” Ryo teases.
“Oh, did I?”
“Yeah, you did.”
“It seems I’m also ahuge liar, then,” Ohkura muses, pouting.
“You really lost so much weight,” Ryo considers, caressing Tadayoshi’s cheek.
“Mmh. I think Love Superman could recommend a cure for my terrible disease, but I don’t know if this is the case…”
Ryo grins, and pulls Ohkura down to him, until the tips of their noses are softly brushing against each other and he can murmur soft words on the unusually chapped lips.
“Close your eyes, Tadayoshi.”
“You won’t disappear, will you? You promise?”
“Quite the contrary. Love Superman will take care.”
*
from: tadayoshi0516@softbank.jp
to: lovesuperman@mugendailovenest.jp
Dear Love Superman,
You’re the living proof miracles can happen, ne?
Thanks for choosing to come back to us.
You were missed quite much. Welcome back.
Eternally yours,
Tadayoshi
Ps: Yeah, in case you were wondering.. I’m still madly in love. And it’s all thanks to you, of course♥.
*