je_united gift fic for lady_aenea
Lovely fic for lady_aenea
Title: Because I Like The Way I Look At You
Pairing: YutoYama (Nakajima Yuto x Yamada Ryosuke)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothing in particular, except for the tooth-rotting sweetness perhaps LOL
Summary: When young aspiring chef Yamada Ryosuke applied for a job at a newly-opened restaurant owned by a world-renowned chef, he didn’t expect to find more than a hot kitchen.
Notes: My summary doesn’t explain anything. I gave up writing a decent summary eons ago. Anyway, to lady_aenea, I hope you like the story! I’m sorry that this turned into a Hey! Say! JUMP fic with extra senpais appearing. I wanted to add the juniors in, but as I’m not very familiar with them, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make their characters right. I hope I at least do your prompt justice. XD
~~~Because I Like The Way I Look At You~~~
“I am so going to win over the head-chef’s heart and make him appoint me as the sous chef at first sight.”
Yamada laughs along with the rest of the group at the statement made by the man called Yaotome Hikaru. He seems to be the talkative guy and very friendly. During their ride on the bus he talks about many things to everyone, from how he is an awesome illustrator to how much he despises cats.
“That is before or after you spill water on his suit?”
The man on Hikaru’s right, someone called Yabu Kota, comments shortly with a snicker. It looks like they are childhood friends, and that Hikaru has ‘forced’ Yabu to come along with him because he thought it would be awesome.
Yamada is sure that Hikaru is ready to fire another remark, but the bus decides to stop right at that moment, and they are quickly ushered to get off. Yamada looks at the fancy building in front of them. A two-storey modern building basked in purple and silver. A huge sign with the letters ‘MJ’ in royal purple, which stands in the small garden in front of the building, is gleaming in the sun.
While they are striding into the building, they are greeted by a man in a black suit. His finger reaches to fix his glasses as he smiles at their arrival.
“I welcome you gentlemen, in MJ’s Kitchen. I will be your maître d', Sakurai Sho. I will be the first to apologize to the customers if anything goes wrong both in and out of the kitchen. So please, do not cause any problems for me if you do not wish to receive more from me.”
Yamada gulps. This man looks kind and all, but Yamada knows better than to mess with him.
“And now, I shall introduce you to the owner of this restaurant, our head-chef, Matsumoto Jun.”
A series of applause breaks out inside the room as a figure emerges from the second floor with his pearl-white chef jacket. Matsumoto Jun is widely known for his stoic personality, and his high standard in food. He is famous for being harsh, unmerciful, and his rude comments. All in all, he’s simply the worst boss you would want to work for. Ever.
But it is also an undeniable truth that he does make the most delicious dish in the world. Rumour has it that whichever chef has Matsumoto Jun’s acceptance will immediately receive three Michelin stars for their food. That’s just how much of an influence this man has.
“Nine young aspiring chefs.” Matsumoto Jun scrutinizes them with his fierce eyes. “When I first created MJ’s kitchen, I had the vision of a modern restaurant which doesn’t forget tradition. We are not an Italian restaurant neither are we a Japanese restaurant. We are an all-around restaurant which will serve food from all over the world.”
Everyone falls silent to listen to Matsumoto Jun’s every word.
“I have hired the best staff you can find. Sakurai Sho, our amazing maître d' who is always ready to deliver the best service,” A hand is pointed at the man who welcomed them just now. “Aiba Masaki, a world-renowned bartender who has just returned from Paris to serve the best drinks.” He points at the other corner of the room where a kind-looking man waves at them. “And Ninomiya Kazunari, your sous chef who will only offer a perfect dish to the customers.” Lastly, he introduces the young man who is standing a few steps away to his left, simply nodding at them.
“For one full month, you will be under my training to make sure that you are ready to work in my kitchen. If you think that all you have to do to work here is to cook delicious food - think again. Working in a professional kitchen means that you must be ready to work under pressure. Everyone can cook delicious meals. But not everyone can cook under high pressure, and deliver. If you can prove that you can do it, you will be celebrating the grand opening of this kitchen together with us. But if you fail to show me your value, you will have to say goodbye to this place.” The man’s eyes sweep over the room before he continues. “You will be given a chance to present me your signature dish once every week. I will then judge whether you can continue or not. Any questions?”
A hand is raised to Yamada’s right. If he remembers correctly, this man is called Arioka Daiki.
“From the beginning of our training until the grand opening, what will we do other than prepare for our weekly dish?”
Matsumoto Jun gives a single nod.
“We will do a trial opening. Soft opening, as it is called. There will be dining service with the purpose of getting to know our market. It won't really be a lot different than any normal dining service. If you worked in a restaurant before, you’d know.” He continues, “And I believe that you have been informed, but I will just remind you one last time. You will be living in our dorm for your trial time. And one or two of us will supervise your living habits outside of the kitchen for the time being. Any other questions?”
When no one seems to raise their hand, Matsumoto Jun claps his hands together as he ushers the nine trainees to their dorm.
“Usually, Sho-kun would be the one to show you around, but as he and I have something to talk about, Masaki-kun will take his place instead. Please, follow him, guys. You are dismissed for the day, and I will be expecting you tomorrow morning for a briefing.”
Yamada turns to find the said man already waiting by the side door.
“Come on, guys. I will show you around,” he exclaims excitedly and Yamada along with his eight other companions follow him to the living quarter.
He wonders how his life will be from now on.
***
“What do I do now?”
It has been two weeks since their arrival at MJ’s kitchen and a lot of things have changed. Firstly, he started to get to know everyone, that’s for sure. Hikaru always makes them laugh, seemingly trying to ease the tension whenever he can. Chinen is a spoiled brat off the kitchen, but he appears to be the most professional one in the kitchen. Takaki looks like he is a yakuza graduate, but he is a softie at heart. Yabu is like their leader, pulling them back together whenever they are about to fall apart. Daiki is their mood maker, firing back at being teased but never really taking it to heart. And then there’s Nakajima Yuto. The man is bubbly and always believes in people’s good side. And for some reason Yamada can’t comprehend, he always manages to do and say what Yamada needs most at the time. It’s almost as if he can read Yamada’s mind.
Secondly, already two people resigned from their post. Inoo declared that he has some urgent business back at home, and resigned voluntarily because there is a possibility that he may not return at all. Okamoto was seemingly unable to handle the pressure. Yamada could see some of himself in Okamoto. The man was panicky and nervous as hell. He could cook just fine under normal circumstances, but whenever the restaurant was opened and the kitchen was supposed to be on fire, he always made mistakes. He left this morning after being dismissed by the owner just last night.
And lastly, they will have to present their signature dish today and Yamada is too homesick and too nervous to even think about anything. He has been away from home for two weeks and he misses his pet dog Kuu. And last week’s presentation still haunts him. Matsumoto criticized his food badly, saying that even an amateur could cook a better ramen with mussel’s broth than his. Yamada admitted that he was nervous. He must have mistaken the ingredients because his ramen lacked flavour somehow. And the fear of being criticized once more is kind of eating him up now.
“Juice?”
Yamada turns to find Yuto offering a fresh can of orange juice, which he takes gratefully.
“Thanks.”
“Nervous?” Yuto asks as he sips his own can.
“Very,” Yamada replies shortly, a nervous smile on his lips.
“Don’t be.” Yuto smiles at him. “You’re an amazing cook. Matsumoto-san barely complained about your food this week. However, he kept screaming at me like mad because I always messed up. So you’ll do fine today, I’m sure of it.”
Yamada laughs when remembering last night’s event. Yuto broke too many eggs which angered the head-chef to the point that he stuck very close to Yuto to make sure he wouldn’t waste any more eggs.
“Yeah, thanks for the encouragement.” He thanks the taller guy who only smiles goofily at him.
“Do you have any idea what to cook tonight?"
Yamada shrugs at the question. “I’m not sure. Maybe some kind of dessert? What about you?”
“Spaghetti Aglio E Olio.” Yuto says confidently. “I heard that Matsumoto-san loves spaghetti, so I bet on it. After last week’s crushing defeat of my tenderloin steak, I chose a different approach.”
It was not a crushing defeat. Matsumoto only commented that Yuto’s steak was inconsistent.
“Let us both give our best.” Offering his fist, Yamada waits for Yuto to give him a fist-bump.
Grinning, Yuto complies excitedly, “Yeah, let’s do our best.”
***
“What is this?”
“Chocolate lava cake with sprinkled white sugar and sugar candied almond,” Yamada answers the man nervously while taking one last look at his dish. In the end, he decided to bake a lava cake. He remembered baking different kinds of pastries back home and decided to try his luck in this area.
“Are you sure that the chocolate lava will melt once I split the cake?” Matsumoto asks him, his look contemplating.
“I’m sure, Matsumoto-san.” Yamada nods his head confidently. His mother taught him the trick many years ago, and he never failed once at baking a lava cake.
Matsumoto raises his eyebrows as he proceeds to split the cake. Slowly, the chocolate oozes out from the centre of the cake. Smiling in delight, Matsumoto pops the cake into his mouth.
“You do have the knack of making dessert. Maybe I should place you at the dessert station?” Matsumoto comments after swallowing the cake. “I love your cake. The sprinkled sugar adds a nice sweet flavour and a pleasant texture to the chocolate. The sugar candied almond is also perfect. The sweetness is just right.”
Yamada smiles shyly. “Thank you, Matsumoto-san.”
“Wow, this is amazing!” Aiba suddenly perks up from the side. “This is probably as good as Oh-chan’s cake.”
Oh-chan, or rather Ohno Satoshi, is their resident pastry chef. He rarely shows up during dining services because he has his own bakery to attend to so it’s not often that they get to see him around. Every evening, he sends them the desserts to be served by delivery. But on the rare occasion that he shows up, he always makes an extra serving for them and his cakes are heavenly. So to be complimented that his dessert is on par with Ohno’s cakes, fills Yamada with pride.
“You did well, Yama-chan.”
Yamada smiles. “Thanks, Yuto. You did well yourself.”
And it was true. Matsumoto seemed happy with his dish today.
“Matsumoto-san was pleased with every dish today. Maybe he’s in a good mood.” Yuto laughs at his own words.
“You couldn’t be any righter,” a voice from behind them suddenly says and Yamada almost got a heart attack, fearing that Matsumoto was listening to their conversation. Thank God it is only Aiba. “Matsujun got a date tonight, that’s why he is unexceptionally joyous. He even told Nino that he would leave tonight’s service in his hands.”
“Oh.” Yamada blinks at the new information.
“That doesn’t necessarily mean good news for you guys. Even without J, our standard stays the same. I won't make it easy for you.” Ninomiya the sous chef peeks out from behind Aiba and gives them a look. The older man doesn’t talk much, but when he does he often makes snide remarks or sarcastic comments.
“Shh, Nino, you’re ruining the mood.” Aiba protests almost immediately, as he walks away, Ninomiya a step ahead of him.
“Well, I guess we’re on our own tonight.”
Yuto gives Yamada’s back a pat before he walks back to the living quarter, probably to get himself some lunch, as it’s almost noon already. Thinking that he might as well follow Yuto’s lead, Yamada makes a beeline towards the door, thinking how it would be lovely to have ramen for lunch.
***
Yamada is in the middle of baking his apple when the news arrives. After the last presentation, Matsumoto did trust him to handle the dessert station. A few days ago, when Ohno dropped by for his weekly visit, he taught Yamada his recipes. The pastry chef would still deliver his own stock of desserts, but for a few delicacies that needed execution on the spot, Yamada was told to take care of them.
“Yamada,” Matsumoto approaches him after he left just minutes ago to take a phone call. “You may want to come with me.”
“But, chef, the apple-?” He begins but Matsumoto cuts him before he can finish his sentence.
“Can bake for itself. Chinen will handle your station for the time being. He’s more or less done serving appetizers anyway.”
As if on cue, Chinen is quick to come to Yamada’s side.
“Just go, Yama-chan. I think it is important.”
Biting his lip, a habit he adopts whenever he’s nervous, Yamada nods as he follows the head-chef out of the kitchen and into his office. Once there, the older man points to the phone, which is seemingly still connected to the other end of the line.
“That phone call was for you,” is all he says before he steps back out. “I will be waiting outside.”
Unsure, Yamada takes the receiver before placing it next to his ear. Gulping, as he is nervous of who might be calling, he readies himself to answer the phone.
“Hello? This is Yamada speaking,”
***
It is Yuto who sits by his side when he cries on the veranda that night. He says nothing as he pulls Yamada to his chest and lets him pour everything out. Everything is blurry to Yamada’s mind. It still feels like a dream, like it isn’t real.
After the phone call, Yamada returned to the kitchen and resumed his work. But it was obvious that his head was not there, especially after he burned his palm when he touched a scorching hot pan with his bare hand. Matsumoto only sighed when he commented that he was fine and quickly sent him back to the living quarter, telling him that he may rest for the night.
Yuto came five minutes later, a medical kit in his hands. He sighed when he saw that Yamada had left his injury unattended. He took Yamada to the sink to wash his hand before applying a cooling gel over the reddened skin. He asked if Yamada was feeling hurt somewhere, and Yamada shook his head. He sighed, probably thinking that Yamada was lying before he returned to the kitchen.
But Yamada did not lie. He did not feel any pain because of his burn. After what he heard, it seemed like everything was numb. Yamada didn’t know what to do or what to feel anymore. And when Aiba showed up an hour later with a can of beer in his hand, Yamada took it wordlessly as he walked to the veranda and sat outside by himself.
That’s when Yuto found him. And when Yuto looked at him, Yamada felt something break in his heart. So he started crying.
“Feeling better?” Yuto asks after Yamada pulls away, his sobs reduced to slight hiccups.
“Yes, thank you.” His voice is still thick with tears, but he feels lighter on the inside.
“Care to tell me what happened?” A hand makes its way to Yamada’s face, brushing a few strands of hair behind his ears and Yamada finds the act endearing.
“I just got a call from home,” Yamada starts, his mind replaying the conversation he just had over the phone. “My mother told me that my sister has just collapsed again.”
Yuto says nothing as he waits for Yamada to continue, and Yamada is grateful. This is something he doesn’t often talk about, and his mind is too jumbled up for him to find the right words to say.
“She has always had a health condition since she was little. The doctor said that her immune system is not working the way it’s supposed to, so she spent more time in the hospital rather than play outside with children her age. We are so close. I was always with her after I got home from school, telling her stories of every little thing that happened during the day. It was also because of her that I learnt how to cook, because she said that she loves her brother’s cooking best. And when I said that I wanted to try to be a professional cook, she was the first to cheer for me, believing in me more than I believed in myself.” Yamada feels his breath gets caught in his throat. “She’s my everything. And I don’t want to lose her.”
Yamada feels a hand on his back, caressing it with unsaid encouragement.
“Mum said that... that Misaki just went into a coma, and that there’s a possibility that she may not make it.” His lips are trembling as he feels fresh tears slipping through his eyelashes. “I don’t know what to do. I just... I don’t know-“
Yuto pulls him back into his embrace as he caresses his back and whispers soothing words into his ears.
“Shh, everything is going to be okay. I’m sure of it. Don’t you worry about anything. Your sister is strong, just like her brother. She’s going to be all right. Have faith.”
Yamada clings onto Yuto’s shirt like it’s his lifeline. He lets Yuto rock his body as he cries his heart out. It is wishful thinking, Yamada knows, but he wants to believe in Yuto’s words. He wants to believe that everything will be okay.
Yamada falls asleep on Yuto that night. He doesn’t remember what happened after he cried on Yuto’s chest, but he finds himself waking up in his own bed the next morning. As he walks to the dining room to grab himself some breakfast, he finds Yuto in full attire, seemingly ready to go somewhere.
“Good morning, Yama-chan. Slept well?” He asks as he passes a plate of pancakes to Yamada’s waiting hands.
Nodding, Yamada proceeds to grab a fork and dutifully eats his pancakes.
“Yuto, thank you for yesterday, I-“
“Don’t mention it.” Yuto cuts him off mid-sentence, “Finish your breakfast. We’re going out after you’re done.”
“Out?” Yamada frowns. “Where?”
“To your hometown.” Yuto gives him a smile. “I asked for a few days of leave for you and me from Matsumoto-san, and he okayed it. He needed to leave for an errand first thing in the morning so he said he was sorry because he couldn’t see us out. And he did ask me to tell you that he prays for your sister’s quick recovery.”
Yamada almost chokes on his pancake.
“But, Yuto, you shouldn’t-“
“Maybe I shouldn’t,” Yuto shrugs. “But I want to.”
Yamada sighs in defeat. “I still can’t believe Matsumoto-san agreed on this though.”
“Matsujun might look like a scary beast at times, but he’s actually very kind.” Aiba suddenly emerges from his room and walks over to the fridge to grab a drink.
It seems like he’s the supervisor for the day. The man is friendly and funny, and he’s pretty much lenient towards the trainees. That’s why Hikaru once declared that Aiba is everyone’s favourite. When Sakurai was the supervisor, all he talked about was how they should stick to the schedule. He is very meticulous and pays attention to details. He once roared at Daiki for forgetting to clean up his empty box of bento. Daiki hasn't dared to look Sakurai in the eye ever since. When it was Ninomiya, all he did was crowd the living room with his games and force the trainees to watch him play. It was the complete opposite of his usually strict self in the kitchen. Yabu even almost thought that Ninomiya has a twin. As for Aiba, he would mostly lounge around with the trainees. They would sometimes watch a movie together, or experiment with a new recipe, or simply have a boy talk. On the rare occasion when Matsumoto allowed it, Aiba would even showcase his bartender skills and let them taste his creations. Sometimes Yamada wonders how a man who mixes mabo tofu and strawberries together could produce such heavenly drinks.
“Aiba-chan, you’re up early.” Yuto greets him cheerfully. That’s one other thing that makes Aiba everyone’s favourite. He treats them as equals. When Ninomiya insists that they call him senpai, Aiba actually told them to call him ‘Aiba-chan’ instead.
“Yeah, there’s this morning drama that I just have to watch.” The man informs them seriously as he steals a pancake from Yamada’s plate. “You’re leaving already?”
“After Yama-chan is ready,” Yuto corrects as he pours juice for both Yamada and Aiba. “Here, my special creation. Orange juice with milk and honey.”
“An orange milkshake then.” Aiba comments as he takes a sip. “It’s a little on the sweet side, but it’s still acceptable. The pancake though, is heavenly.”
The difference between living in a house-share and living in a house-share filled with food-freaks? You get to be criticized for your food every time. Well, Aiba only comments on drinks though, he mostly loves every food on his plate.
“Yama-chan, are you done?” Yuto turns his attention back towards Yamada who is walking over to wash his plate. “I will be waiting here when you’re ready.”
Yamada smiles as he nods towards Yuto. After excusing himself from the dining room, he proceeds to the bathroom to get ready. As he returns to his bedroom though, he finds a backpack on the side of his bed. Yuto must have already packed for him, Yamada thinks as a smile blossoms on his lips.
Walking back to the dining room, he sees Yuto engaged in a heated talk with Yabu. From the noise coming from the living room, he assumes that Aiba has already gone to watch the morning drama. When hearing his footsteps, Yuto stops talking to turn his way.
“Oh, you’re ready?” He asks as he stands up from his seat.
“Yeah,” Yamada sighs. He doesn’t know whether he’s ready to go home or not, but he thinks that he has to face the current situation.
“Let’s go then. Yabu-kun, let’s talk some other time.” Picking up a backpack standing next to the chair leg that Yamada didn’t notice before, Yuto races to the living room to inform their supervisor that they’re leaving.
“Take care guys! My regards to your family!” Aiba shouts from the living room just as Yuto jogs back to where Yamada is.
“Come on, Yama-chan. Lead the way.”
***
It doesn’t take long as Yamada lives not too far away from the restaurant. Only about thirty minutes on the bus and Yuto is silent during the whole ride. The silence is calming though. The silence is what Yamada needs the most at the moment and as per usual, Yuto always manages to read between the lines and give Yamada the space he needs.
When they arrive at Yamada's household, his parents are understandably surprised. They recover fast though, as they welcome the two men inside. After briefing them about their short stay, Yamada’s mother takes them to his room.
“I will bring another set of futon for you, Nakajima-kun. Please, feel at home.” After saying that, she leaves the two of them inside his room.
“I like your room.” Yuto comments as he takes a mini-tour around the small room. “Everything screams Yamada Ryosuke.”
“This is my room, what do you expect?” Yamada rolls his eyes as he plops his body down on the bed. “Let’s take some rest before we get down for lunch.”
“Oh, oh! Will you cook?” Yuto asks eagerly as he barges into Yamada’s personal space and lies beside him.
“Mum will be cooking lunch.” Yamada deadpans as he makes room for the two of them to fit on the single bed.
“Hnn. That would be nice.” Yuto replies with a soft voice, as his fingers play with Yamada’s hair. His gesture and voice are making Yamada sleepy somehow. “Go back to sleep, Yama-chan. You need it.”
Yuto must have casted a spell because Yamada finds himself complying to his words almost immediately. Despite his effort to stay awake, his eyes are betraying him as they slowly close, leading him into a dreamland where everything is rainbow and flowers and happiness.
***
Yuto escorts him to the hospital the next morning. Yesterday, the taller man had managed to steal the hearts of Yamada’s parents away and coaxed Yamada’s mother to let him use the kitchen to cook dinner. Yamada has to admit that Yuto is such a smooth-talker. In the span of half a day, he made himself the second son of the Yamada household. He even began calling Yamada’s mother ‘Mum’ already.
Not that Yamada hates it at all.
“Are you ready?”
No. Yamada is not ready. He will never be ready.
But he doesn’t voice his thoughts, and instead only grips onto Yuto tighter, as if asking for assurance that the taller man is all too willing to give.
Yamada’s sister is placed in a special isolation room, so Yamada cannot see nor touch her directly. The nurse leads them to a special room, where they can observe her from behind a glass. The nurse offers Yamada to enter the room wearing a sterile gown because he’s family, but Yamada is too afraid to go by himself and they don’t allow Yuto to go in so he refuses the offer.
When Yuto asks him if he is sure, Yamada nods his head. Yamada is weak and Yuto gives him strength. So Yamada is sure he will break down if he was to enter the room without Yuto and that’s what he wants the least. He knows that his sister would still be able to hear him despite her condition, and he doesn’t want his sister to listen to him cry. That’s why for the time being, it’s enough like this. As long as Yuto is by his side, he’s okay. Everything will be okay.
The both of them stay at Yamada’s house for another couple of days before they need to return to the restaurant. And now, Yamada is torn. On one side, he knows of his responsibility, that he has to return there eventually. But on the other side, he doesn’t want to return there anymore. Seeing his sister’s condition deteriorating every single day, he feels his motivation leave him. And just as he is about to voice his dilemma, the hospital is calling.
“Your daughter has fallen into a state of brain death.”
Yamada feels like vomiting.
“During her last test, we found out that her brain no longer responds to anything. I’m afraid that there’s nothing else we can do for her. I’m sorry.”
Everything crashes down. His sister, his life, his everything.
Yamada faintly hears his name being called but he ignores it. He walks away from that room which has begun to suffocate him. He walks away from the madness. He walks away from the nightmare. Yes. A nightmare. This must be a nightmare. And he will wake up in the morning with Misaki laughing at his stupid dream.
Yamada laughs. He is so silly. Of course this is a dream. He hears someone screaming like a maniac from the back of his mind and mentally shakes his head. People are going crazy nowadays, he thinks as the sound is getting louder. Yamada’s thoughts travel until he feels a rough pull from behind.
“Ryosuke!” A frantic call of his name and Yuto’s worried face suddenly invade Yamada’s vision.
Yamada looks at Yuto in confusion. Why is the man looking at him that way? He tries to call Yuto’s name but nothing is coming from his throat, which strangely feels hoarse. It’s as if he was overusing his vocal chord by screaming his lungs out.
“Ryosuke, calm down!” Yuto shakes his shoulders roughly. That’s when he realizes that he has been the one screaming. And when he stops, the sound from the back of his mind disappears.
“Yu-to?” Yamada looks up expectantly, though he himself doesn’t know what it is that he expects.
“Oh, Ryosuke I’m so sorry.” Yuto caresses Yamada’s cheek like he’s a fragile china doll, before pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry about your sister.”
Memories start flowing back to Yamada as the words of the doctor are replaying inside his head.
“It was not a dream?” He whispers shakily into Yuto’s chest, and when Yuto only tightens his embrace, Yamada knows he was not dreaming.
“No, no, no! Misaki, no!” Yamada starts to protest against Yuto’s hold but the man refuses to let him go. “Yuto, let go! I need to see Misaki! I need to make sure with my own eyes!”
Yamada starts punching and kicking Yuto, doing anything to have Yuto let him go. But the man is strong for a lanky guy because he doesn’t budge even an inch as Yamada keeps on screaming and shouting in his arms. Until his body gives up and he falls limp into Yuto’s arms. And then he remembers no more.
***
The next time he comes around, he’s sleeping in an unfamiliar bed with a strong smell of disinfectant in the air. He turns to his left to see something is hooked into his arm. He then turns to his right and finds Yuto smiling softly at him as he brushes Yamada’s bangs away.
“You had a panic attack. And suffered from mild dehydration. So they hooked you up and told us to wait until the saline is out and they can discharge you.” Yuto answers Yamada’s unsaid question and he hums in understanding.
“I have called Matsumoto-san and explained the situation. He said that you are on leave until you think you are ready to return. That Matsumoto-san, I’m sure he has taken a liking on you. You would normally receive a notice of dismissal otherwise.” Yuto tries to lift up the mood by saying so, but Yamada’s face doesn’t change.
“Yama-chan, are you okay?”
Yamada doesn’t answer. instead he looks away and avoids Yuto’s eyes.
“Of course you are not okay, what am I saying?” Yuto chuckles helplessly. “I will return to the restaurant tomorrow though.”
This earns Yamada’s attention.
“You won’t stay?” He quickly turns back at Yuto, his face hoping.
Yuto smiles sadly at him, “I can’t, Yama-chan. Sooner or later, I have to return to the restaurant.”
“But-“ Yamada averts his gaze, “Can’t you stay for another day?”
“I would love to,” Yamada smiles but it soon fades at the look in Yuto’s face. “But I can’t. I would be imposing on a serious family matter if I were to stay longer. And I can’t do that.”
Yamada must have made a disappointed look because Yuto flicks his forehead, an act he often does to cheer Yamada up.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I’m going very far where you couldn’t reach me.” Yuto crosses his hands in front of his chest in a scolding manner, before his features soften. “In this time, you have to support each other and stay strong together, as a family. Believe in your family and have faith, that you can overcome this together. It is okay to be weak sometimes. You can laugh, you can cry, you can do and be anything. And then you will overcome everything together, as a family.”
A small smile makes its way to Yamada’s lips. Yuto is right. He’s not helping anyone by breaking down like this.
“And always remember, that I will always be there when you need me. I’m only a call away whenever you need an ear. And I will be there, waiting for you to return.”
Yamada is thankful for this man here by his side. Without Yuto, Yamada couldn't even imagine what kind of a mess he would be by now. Without Yuto, Yamada would be lost.
“Thank you, Yuto.” Yamada reaches out to grip Yuto’s hand, “For everything.”
***
It has been a month since he last saw Yuto. They still exchange mails, and some nights Yamada would call Yuto just to listen to the taller man talking. Yuto’s voice always has a calming effect, and Yuto knows this. That’s why he keeps on talking during their phone calls until Yamada falls asleep. He would also listen to Yamada’s worries and problems, offering advice when Yamada needs it, and simply listening in silence when all Yamada needs is to vent out.
And now, after one long month, Yamada makes his decision.
“Yamada.”
Yamada bows at the man who then smiles before giving him a short nod. And before he gets to say anything, he already finds himself being tackled by long limbs, which belong to none other than Aiba Masaki.
“Yama-chan, you’re back!” The man exclaims gleefully as he half-drags Yamada to where the others are. “We’ve missed you! Nino keeps complaining how he misses his loyal game-observer.”
“I do not!” Ninomiya protests before he greets Yamada with a smile. “Welcome back, Yamada-kun.”
“Oi, Yama-chan, you’re back!”
A series of noogies and high-fives and welcome-backs greet his return to MJ’s kitchen. And he laughs along with the rest of them.
“How is your sister, Yamada-kun?” Sakurai offers him a welcome-back handshake as he asks that question.
Yamada sees how Ninomiya nudges him in the ribs and how Matsumoto is throwing him a disapproving look, and the man is ready to apologize when Yamada shakes his head.
“It’s all right, Sakurai-san,” Yamada smiles. “Nothing much has changed. But my parents are thinking of asking for a second opinion and taking my sister to another hospital, which specializes in brain problems. We were told not to expect a lot, but it is better than nothing at all.”
“Will you- you know?” Hikaru starts nervously, but Yamada gets him just fine.
“I will not resign,” he says confidently. “Of course, the thought came to my mind several times, but I have a feeling that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I were to give up now. This has been my dream, and I think that my sister would be very disappointed should she know that I resign now.”
Yamada takes a deep breath before turning towards Matsumoto.
“That’s why, if it is alright, I'd like to return to work back here? Things won’t be easy for me from now on, but I promise that I will contribute the best that I can to this restaurant. I mean, I love it here and the guys are like my second family and all, so-“
“Yamada, breath.” Matsumoto raises a hand to stop him from babbling any further. “I believe I said that I gave you permission to leave until everything is settled, and that you are welcome to return whenever you’re ready.”
Yamada holds his breath, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“And those words still stand. Of course you may return here. You are always welcome here.”
Yamada bets that the loudest cheer comes from Hikaru. When he turns around, he catches him wiping his snot on Yabu’s shirt who smacks him across the head for being disgusting. He laughs at the scene. How he missed it all.
“But!” Matsumoto raises his voice to gain everyone’s attention, “Since you have yet to finish your trainee period, you will continue from where you left off. You have a lot of catching up to do, so you better be ready.”
Yamada steels his face. He’s ready for anything.
“But it’s you, so I’m sure you will do just fine.” Ninomiya is the one who breaks the tense silence with his casual comment. “You missed the grand opening, that’s too bad.”
“Right! Matsujun was extra scary that night because he wanted everything to be perfect! I will show you the video later on. Oh-chan dropped by in a suit for the opening, you know. That was so very unusual.”
Aiba has started off with his usual monologue when a hand pulls Yamada. Turning around, he finds himself face-to-face with Yuto. The man signals Yamada to follow him, and leads him to the veranda where the two of them can see the beautiful sunset.
“I’m glad that you decided to return.” Yuto starts as he leans onto the railing.
“Thanks to you, I finally made up my mind.”
“Really? Maybe I should apply as a motivation trainer then?” Yamada laughs at the smug look on Yuto’s face. “Hey, Yama-chan, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Yuto’s look is suddenly serious, as he looks Yamada straight in the eye.
“The truth is, I... I lo-“
Yamada cuts Yuto’s words as he leans in and pecks him on the lips. It is a short yet sweet kiss. They linger for a moment before Yamada pulls away, a blush decorating his face at his own bold act.
“I know, Yuto.” He says as he avoids Yuto’s gaze. “I, uhm, thank you, for always being there for me. For being my strength. For everything.”
Yuto still looks like he’s in a daze before he breaks into a huge grin just a second later.
“Oh my, you are so adorable.” Yuto laughs as he pulls Yamada close. “You have no idea how much I love you.”
Yuto leans in for another kiss. Longer this time. And as they pull back, Yamada smiles shyly at him.
“I love you, Ryosuke, so very much.”
Yamada smiles.
“I love you too, Yuto.”
~~~End~~~
Title: Because I Like The Way I Look At You
Pairing: YutoYama (Nakajima Yuto x Yamada Ryosuke)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothing in particular, except for the tooth-rotting sweetness perhaps LOL
Summary: When young aspiring chef Yamada Ryosuke applied for a job at a newly-opened restaurant owned by a world-renowned chef, he didn’t expect to find more than a hot kitchen.
Notes: My summary doesn’t explain anything. I gave up writing a decent summary eons ago. Anyway, to lady_aenea, I hope you like the story! I’m sorry that this turned into a Hey! Say! JUMP fic with extra senpais appearing. I wanted to add the juniors in, but as I’m not very familiar with them, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make their characters right. I hope I at least do your prompt justice. XD
~~~Because I Like The Way I Look At You~~~
“I am so going to win over the head-chef’s heart and make him appoint me as the sous chef at first sight.”
Yamada laughs along with the rest of the group at the statement made by the man called Yaotome Hikaru. He seems to be the talkative guy and very friendly. During their ride on the bus he talks about many things to everyone, from how he is an awesome illustrator to how much he despises cats.
“That is before or after you spill water on his suit?”
The man on Hikaru’s right, someone called Yabu Kota, comments shortly with a snicker. It looks like they are childhood friends, and that Hikaru has ‘forced’ Yabu to come along with him because he thought it would be awesome.
Yamada is sure that Hikaru is ready to fire another remark, but the bus decides to stop right at that moment, and they are quickly ushered to get off. Yamada looks at the fancy building in front of them. A two-storey modern building basked in purple and silver. A huge sign with the letters ‘MJ’ in royal purple, which stands in the small garden in front of the building, is gleaming in the sun.
While they are striding into the building, they are greeted by a man in a black suit. His finger reaches to fix his glasses as he smiles at their arrival.
“I welcome you gentlemen, in MJ’s Kitchen. I will be your maître d', Sakurai Sho. I will be the first to apologize to the customers if anything goes wrong both in and out of the kitchen. So please, do not cause any problems for me if you do not wish to receive more from me.”
Yamada gulps. This man looks kind and all, but Yamada knows better than to mess with him.
“And now, I shall introduce you to the owner of this restaurant, our head-chef, Matsumoto Jun.”
A series of applause breaks out inside the room as a figure emerges from the second floor with his pearl-white chef jacket. Matsumoto Jun is widely known for his stoic personality, and his high standard in food. He is famous for being harsh, unmerciful, and his rude comments. All in all, he’s simply the worst boss you would want to work for. Ever.
But it is also an undeniable truth that he does make the most delicious dish in the world. Rumour has it that whichever chef has Matsumoto Jun’s acceptance will immediately receive three Michelin stars for their food. That’s just how much of an influence this man has.
“Nine young aspiring chefs.” Matsumoto Jun scrutinizes them with his fierce eyes. “When I first created MJ’s kitchen, I had the vision of a modern restaurant which doesn’t forget tradition. We are not an Italian restaurant neither are we a Japanese restaurant. We are an all-around restaurant which will serve food from all over the world.”
Everyone falls silent to listen to Matsumoto Jun’s every word.
“I have hired the best staff you can find. Sakurai Sho, our amazing maître d' who is always ready to deliver the best service,” A hand is pointed at the man who welcomed them just now. “Aiba Masaki, a world-renowned bartender who has just returned from Paris to serve the best drinks.” He points at the other corner of the room where a kind-looking man waves at them. “And Ninomiya Kazunari, your sous chef who will only offer a perfect dish to the customers.” Lastly, he introduces the young man who is standing a few steps away to his left, simply nodding at them.
“For one full month, you will be under my training to make sure that you are ready to work in my kitchen. If you think that all you have to do to work here is to cook delicious food - think again. Working in a professional kitchen means that you must be ready to work under pressure. Everyone can cook delicious meals. But not everyone can cook under high pressure, and deliver. If you can prove that you can do it, you will be celebrating the grand opening of this kitchen together with us. But if you fail to show me your value, you will have to say goodbye to this place.” The man’s eyes sweep over the room before he continues. “You will be given a chance to present me your signature dish once every week. I will then judge whether you can continue or not. Any questions?”
A hand is raised to Yamada’s right. If he remembers correctly, this man is called Arioka Daiki.
“From the beginning of our training until the grand opening, what will we do other than prepare for our weekly dish?”
Matsumoto Jun gives a single nod.
“We will do a trial opening. Soft opening, as it is called. There will be dining service with the purpose of getting to know our market. It won't really be a lot different than any normal dining service. If you worked in a restaurant before, you’d know.” He continues, “And I believe that you have been informed, but I will just remind you one last time. You will be living in our dorm for your trial time. And one or two of us will supervise your living habits outside of the kitchen for the time being. Any other questions?”
When no one seems to raise their hand, Matsumoto Jun claps his hands together as he ushers the nine trainees to their dorm.
“Usually, Sho-kun would be the one to show you around, but as he and I have something to talk about, Masaki-kun will take his place instead. Please, follow him, guys. You are dismissed for the day, and I will be expecting you tomorrow morning for a briefing.”
Yamada turns to find the said man already waiting by the side door.
“Come on, guys. I will show you around,” he exclaims excitedly and Yamada along with his eight other companions follow him to the living quarter.
He wonders how his life will be from now on.
***
“What do I do now?”
It has been two weeks since their arrival at MJ’s kitchen and a lot of things have changed. Firstly, he started to get to know everyone, that’s for sure. Hikaru always makes them laugh, seemingly trying to ease the tension whenever he can. Chinen is a spoiled brat off the kitchen, but he appears to be the most professional one in the kitchen. Takaki looks like he is a yakuza graduate, but he is a softie at heart. Yabu is like their leader, pulling them back together whenever they are about to fall apart. Daiki is their mood maker, firing back at being teased but never really taking it to heart. And then there’s Nakajima Yuto. The man is bubbly and always believes in people’s good side. And for some reason Yamada can’t comprehend, he always manages to do and say what Yamada needs most at the time. It’s almost as if he can read Yamada’s mind.
Secondly, already two people resigned from their post. Inoo declared that he has some urgent business back at home, and resigned voluntarily because there is a possibility that he may not return at all. Okamoto was seemingly unable to handle the pressure. Yamada could see some of himself in Okamoto. The man was panicky and nervous as hell. He could cook just fine under normal circumstances, but whenever the restaurant was opened and the kitchen was supposed to be on fire, he always made mistakes. He left this morning after being dismissed by the owner just last night.
And lastly, they will have to present their signature dish today and Yamada is too homesick and too nervous to even think about anything. He has been away from home for two weeks and he misses his pet dog Kuu. And last week’s presentation still haunts him. Matsumoto criticized his food badly, saying that even an amateur could cook a better ramen with mussel’s broth than his. Yamada admitted that he was nervous. He must have mistaken the ingredients because his ramen lacked flavour somehow. And the fear of being criticized once more is kind of eating him up now.
“Juice?”
Yamada turns to find Yuto offering a fresh can of orange juice, which he takes gratefully.
“Thanks.”
“Nervous?” Yuto asks as he sips his own can.
“Very,” Yamada replies shortly, a nervous smile on his lips.
“Don’t be.” Yuto smiles at him. “You’re an amazing cook. Matsumoto-san barely complained about your food this week. However, he kept screaming at me like mad because I always messed up. So you’ll do fine today, I’m sure of it.”
Yamada laughs when remembering last night’s event. Yuto broke too many eggs which angered the head-chef to the point that he stuck very close to Yuto to make sure he wouldn’t waste any more eggs.
“Yeah, thanks for the encouragement.” He thanks the taller guy who only smiles goofily at him.
“Do you have any idea what to cook tonight?"
Yamada shrugs at the question. “I’m not sure. Maybe some kind of dessert? What about you?”
“Spaghetti Aglio E Olio.” Yuto says confidently. “I heard that Matsumoto-san loves spaghetti, so I bet on it. After last week’s crushing defeat of my tenderloin steak, I chose a different approach.”
It was not a crushing defeat. Matsumoto only commented that Yuto’s steak was inconsistent.
“Let us both give our best.” Offering his fist, Yamada waits for Yuto to give him a fist-bump.
Grinning, Yuto complies excitedly, “Yeah, let’s do our best.”
***
“What is this?”
“Chocolate lava cake with sprinkled white sugar and sugar candied almond,” Yamada answers the man nervously while taking one last look at his dish. In the end, he decided to bake a lava cake. He remembered baking different kinds of pastries back home and decided to try his luck in this area.
“Are you sure that the chocolate lava will melt once I split the cake?” Matsumoto asks him, his look contemplating.
“I’m sure, Matsumoto-san.” Yamada nods his head confidently. His mother taught him the trick many years ago, and he never failed once at baking a lava cake.
Matsumoto raises his eyebrows as he proceeds to split the cake. Slowly, the chocolate oozes out from the centre of the cake. Smiling in delight, Matsumoto pops the cake into his mouth.
“You do have the knack of making dessert. Maybe I should place you at the dessert station?” Matsumoto comments after swallowing the cake. “I love your cake. The sprinkled sugar adds a nice sweet flavour and a pleasant texture to the chocolate. The sugar candied almond is also perfect. The sweetness is just right.”
Yamada smiles shyly. “Thank you, Matsumoto-san.”
“Wow, this is amazing!” Aiba suddenly perks up from the side. “This is probably as good as Oh-chan’s cake.”
Oh-chan, or rather Ohno Satoshi, is their resident pastry chef. He rarely shows up during dining services because he has his own bakery to attend to so it’s not often that they get to see him around. Every evening, he sends them the desserts to be served by delivery. But on the rare occasion that he shows up, he always makes an extra serving for them and his cakes are heavenly. So to be complimented that his dessert is on par with Ohno’s cakes, fills Yamada with pride.
“You did well, Yama-chan.”
Yamada smiles. “Thanks, Yuto. You did well yourself.”
And it was true. Matsumoto seemed happy with his dish today.
“Matsumoto-san was pleased with every dish today. Maybe he’s in a good mood.” Yuto laughs at his own words.
“You couldn’t be any righter,” a voice from behind them suddenly says and Yamada almost got a heart attack, fearing that Matsumoto was listening to their conversation. Thank God it is only Aiba. “Matsujun got a date tonight, that’s why he is unexceptionally joyous. He even told Nino that he would leave tonight’s service in his hands.”
“Oh.” Yamada blinks at the new information.
“That doesn’t necessarily mean good news for you guys. Even without J, our standard stays the same. I won't make it easy for you.” Ninomiya the sous chef peeks out from behind Aiba and gives them a look. The older man doesn’t talk much, but when he does he often makes snide remarks or sarcastic comments.
“Shh, Nino, you’re ruining the mood.” Aiba protests almost immediately, as he walks away, Ninomiya a step ahead of him.
“Well, I guess we’re on our own tonight.”
Yuto gives Yamada’s back a pat before he walks back to the living quarter, probably to get himself some lunch, as it’s almost noon already. Thinking that he might as well follow Yuto’s lead, Yamada makes a beeline towards the door, thinking how it would be lovely to have ramen for lunch.
***
Yamada is in the middle of baking his apple when the news arrives. After the last presentation, Matsumoto did trust him to handle the dessert station. A few days ago, when Ohno dropped by for his weekly visit, he taught Yamada his recipes. The pastry chef would still deliver his own stock of desserts, but for a few delicacies that needed execution on the spot, Yamada was told to take care of them.
“Yamada,” Matsumoto approaches him after he left just minutes ago to take a phone call. “You may want to come with me.”
“But, chef, the apple-?” He begins but Matsumoto cuts him before he can finish his sentence.
“Can bake for itself. Chinen will handle your station for the time being. He’s more or less done serving appetizers anyway.”
As if on cue, Chinen is quick to come to Yamada’s side.
“Just go, Yama-chan. I think it is important.”
Biting his lip, a habit he adopts whenever he’s nervous, Yamada nods as he follows the head-chef out of the kitchen and into his office. Once there, the older man points to the phone, which is seemingly still connected to the other end of the line.
“That phone call was for you,” is all he says before he steps back out. “I will be waiting outside.”
Unsure, Yamada takes the receiver before placing it next to his ear. Gulping, as he is nervous of who might be calling, he readies himself to answer the phone.
“Hello? This is Yamada speaking,”
***
It is Yuto who sits by his side when he cries on the veranda that night. He says nothing as he pulls Yamada to his chest and lets him pour everything out. Everything is blurry to Yamada’s mind. It still feels like a dream, like it isn’t real.
After the phone call, Yamada returned to the kitchen and resumed his work. But it was obvious that his head was not there, especially after he burned his palm when he touched a scorching hot pan with his bare hand. Matsumoto only sighed when he commented that he was fine and quickly sent him back to the living quarter, telling him that he may rest for the night.
Yuto came five minutes later, a medical kit in his hands. He sighed when he saw that Yamada had left his injury unattended. He took Yamada to the sink to wash his hand before applying a cooling gel over the reddened skin. He asked if Yamada was feeling hurt somewhere, and Yamada shook his head. He sighed, probably thinking that Yamada was lying before he returned to the kitchen.
But Yamada did not lie. He did not feel any pain because of his burn. After what he heard, it seemed like everything was numb. Yamada didn’t know what to do or what to feel anymore. And when Aiba showed up an hour later with a can of beer in his hand, Yamada took it wordlessly as he walked to the veranda and sat outside by himself.
That’s when Yuto found him. And when Yuto looked at him, Yamada felt something break in his heart. So he started crying.
“Feeling better?” Yuto asks after Yamada pulls away, his sobs reduced to slight hiccups.
“Yes, thank you.” His voice is still thick with tears, but he feels lighter on the inside.
“Care to tell me what happened?” A hand makes its way to Yamada’s face, brushing a few strands of hair behind his ears and Yamada finds the act endearing.
“I just got a call from home,” Yamada starts, his mind replaying the conversation he just had over the phone. “My mother told me that my sister has just collapsed again.”
Yuto says nothing as he waits for Yamada to continue, and Yamada is grateful. This is something he doesn’t often talk about, and his mind is too jumbled up for him to find the right words to say.
“She has always had a health condition since she was little. The doctor said that her immune system is not working the way it’s supposed to, so she spent more time in the hospital rather than play outside with children her age. We are so close. I was always with her after I got home from school, telling her stories of every little thing that happened during the day. It was also because of her that I learnt how to cook, because she said that she loves her brother’s cooking best. And when I said that I wanted to try to be a professional cook, she was the first to cheer for me, believing in me more than I believed in myself.” Yamada feels his breath gets caught in his throat. “She’s my everything. And I don’t want to lose her.”
Yamada feels a hand on his back, caressing it with unsaid encouragement.
“Mum said that... that Misaki just went into a coma, and that there’s a possibility that she may not make it.” His lips are trembling as he feels fresh tears slipping through his eyelashes. “I don’t know what to do. I just... I don’t know-“
Yuto pulls him back into his embrace as he caresses his back and whispers soothing words into his ears.
“Shh, everything is going to be okay. I’m sure of it. Don’t you worry about anything. Your sister is strong, just like her brother. She’s going to be all right. Have faith.”
Yamada clings onto Yuto’s shirt like it’s his lifeline. He lets Yuto rock his body as he cries his heart out. It is wishful thinking, Yamada knows, but he wants to believe in Yuto’s words. He wants to believe that everything will be okay.
Yamada falls asleep on Yuto that night. He doesn’t remember what happened after he cried on Yuto’s chest, but he finds himself waking up in his own bed the next morning. As he walks to the dining room to grab himself some breakfast, he finds Yuto in full attire, seemingly ready to go somewhere.
“Good morning, Yama-chan. Slept well?” He asks as he passes a plate of pancakes to Yamada’s waiting hands.
Nodding, Yamada proceeds to grab a fork and dutifully eats his pancakes.
“Yuto, thank you for yesterday, I-“
“Don’t mention it.” Yuto cuts him off mid-sentence, “Finish your breakfast. We’re going out after you’re done.”
“Out?” Yamada frowns. “Where?”
“To your hometown.” Yuto gives him a smile. “I asked for a few days of leave for you and me from Matsumoto-san, and he okayed it. He needed to leave for an errand first thing in the morning so he said he was sorry because he couldn’t see us out. And he did ask me to tell you that he prays for your sister’s quick recovery.”
Yamada almost chokes on his pancake.
“But, Yuto, you shouldn’t-“
“Maybe I shouldn’t,” Yuto shrugs. “But I want to.”
Yamada sighs in defeat. “I still can’t believe Matsumoto-san agreed on this though.”
“Matsujun might look like a scary beast at times, but he’s actually very kind.” Aiba suddenly emerges from his room and walks over to the fridge to grab a drink.
It seems like he’s the supervisor for the day. The man is friendly and funny, and he’s pretty much lenient towards the trainees. That’s why Hikaru once declared that Aiba is everyone’s favourite. When Sakurai was the supervisor, all he talked about was how they should stick to the schedule. He is very meticulous and pays attention to details. He once roared at Daiki for forgetting to clean up his empty box of bento. Daiki hasn't dared to look Sakurai in the eye ever since. When it was Ninomiya, all he did was crowd the living room with his games and force the trainees to watch him play. It was the complete opposite of his usually strict self in the kitchen. Yabu even almost thought that Ninomiya has a twin. As for Aiba, he would mostly lounge around with the trainees. They would sometimes watch a movie together, or experiment with a new recipe, or simply have a boy talk. On the rare occasion when Matsumoto allowed it, Aiba would even showcase his bartender skills and let them taste his creations. Sometimes Yamada wonders how a man who mixes mabo tofu and strawberries together could produce such heavenly drinks.
“Aiba-chan, you’re up early.” Yuto greets him cheerfully. That’s one other thing that makes Aiba everyone’s favourite. He treats them as equals. When Ninomiya insists that they call him senpai, Aiba actually told them to call him ‘Aiba-chan’ instead.
“Yeah, there’s this morning drama that I just have to watch.” The man informs them seriously as he steals a pancake from Yamada’s plate. “You’re leaving already?”
“After Yama-chan is ready,” Yuto corrects as he pours juice for both Yamada and Aiba. “Here, my special creation. Orange juice with milk and honey.”
“An orange milkshake then.” Aiba comments as he takes a sip. “It’s a little on the sweet side, but it’s still acceptable. The pancake though, is heavenly.”
The difference between living in a house-share and living in a house-share filled with food-freaks? You get to be criticized for your food every time. Well, Aiba only comments on drinks though, he mostly loves every food on his plate.
“Yama-chan, are you done?” Yuto turns his attention back towards Yamada who is walking over to wash his plate. “I will be waiting here when you’re ready.”
Yamada smiles as he nods towards Yuto. After excusing himself from the dining room, he proceeds to the bathroom to get ready. As he returns to his bedroom though, he finds a backpack on the side of his bed. Yuto must have already packed for him, Yamada thinks as a smile blossoms on his lips.
Walking back to the dining room, he sees Yuto engaged in a heated talk with Yabu. From the noise coming from the living room, he assumes that Aiba has already gone to watch the morning drama. When hearing his footsteps, Yuto stops talking to turn his way.
“Oh, you’re ready?” He asks as he stands up from his seat.
“Yeah,” Yamada sighs. He doesn’t know whether he’s ready to go home or not, but he thinks that he has to face the current situation.
“Let’s go then. Yabu-kun, let’s talk some other time.” Picking up a backpack standing next to the chair leg that Yamada didn’t notice before, Yuto races to the living room to inform their supervisor that they’re leaving.
“Take care guys! My regards to your family!” Aiba shouts from the living room just as Yuto jogs back to where Yamada is.
“Come on, Yama-chan. Lead the way.”
***
It doesn’t take long as Yamada lives not too far away from the restaurant. Only about thirty minutes on the bus and Yuto is silent during the whole ride. The silence is calming though. The silence is what Yamada needs the most at the moment and as per usual, Yuto always manages to read between the lines and give Yamada the space he needs.
When they arrive at Yamada's household, his parents are understandably surprised. They recover fast though, as they welcome the two men inside. After briefing them about their short stay, Yamada’s mother takes them to his room.
“I will bring another set of futon for you, Nakajima-kun. Please, feel at home.” After saying that, she leaves the two of them inside his room.
“I like your room.” Yuto comments as he takes a mini-tour around the small room. “Everything screams Yamada Ryosuke.”
“This is my room, what do you expect?” Yamada rolls his eyes as he plops his body down on the bed. “Let’s take some rest before we get down for lunch.”
“Oh, oh! Will you cook?” Yuto asks eagerly as he barges into Yamada’s personal space and lies beside him.
“Mum will be cooking lunch.” Yamada deadpans as he makes room for the two of them to fit on the single bed.
“Hnn. That would be nice.” Yuto replies with a soft voice, as his fingers play with Yamada’s hair. His gesture and voice are making Yamada sleepy somehow. “Go back to sleep, Yama-chan. You need it.”
Yuto must have casted a spell because Yamada finds himself complying to his words almost immediately. Despite his effort to stay awake, his eyes are betraying him as they slowly close, leading him into a dreamland where everything is rainbow and flowers and happiness.
***
Yuto escorts him to the hospital the next morning. Yesterday, the taller man had managed to steal the hearts of Yamada’s parents away and coaxed Yamada’s mother to let him use the kitchen to cook dinner. Yamada has to admit that Yuto is such a smooth-talker. In the span of half a day, he made himself the second son of the Yamada household. He even began calling Yamada’s mother ‘Mum’ already.
Not that Yamada hates it at all.
“Are you ready?”
No. Yamada is not ready. He will never be ready.
But he doesn’t voice his thoughts, and instead only grips onto Yuto tighter, as if asking for assurance that the taller man is all too willing to give.
Yamada’s sister is placed in a special isolation room, so Yamada cannot see nor touch her directly. The nurse leads them to a special room, where they can observe her from behind a glass. The nurse offers Yamada to enter the room wearing a sterile gown because he’s family, but Yamada is too afraid to go by himself and they don’t allow Yuto to go in so he refuses the offer.
When Yuto asks him if he is sure, Yamada nods his head. Yamada is weak and Yuto gives him strength. So Yamada is sure he will break down if he was to enter the room without Yuto and that’s what he wants the least. He knows that his sister would still be able to hear him despite her condition, and he doesn’t want his sister to listen to him cry. That’s why for the time being, it’s enough like this. As long as Yuto is by his side, he’s okay. Everything will be okay.
The both of them stay at Yamada’s house for another couple of days before they need to return to the restaurant. And now, Yamada is torn. On one side, he knows of his responsibility, that he has to return there eventually. But on the other side, he doesn’t want to return there anymore. Seeing his sister’s condition deteriorating every single day, he feels his motivation leave him. And just as he is about to voice his dilemma, the hospital is calling.
“Your daughter has fallen into a state of brain death.”
Yamada feels like vomiting.
“During her last test, we found out that her brain no longer responds to anything. I’m afraid that there’s nothing else we can do for her. I’m sorry.”
Everything crashes down. His sister, his life, his everything.
Yamada faintly hears his name being called but he ignores it. He walks away from that room which has begun to suffocate him. He walks away from the madness. He walks away from the nightmare. Yes. A nightmare. This must be a nightmare. And he will wake up in the morning with Misaki laughing at his stupid dream.
Yamada laughs. He is so silly. Of course this is a dream. He hears someone screaming like a maniac from the back of his mind and mentally shakes his head. People are going crazy nowadays, he thinks as the sound is getting louder. Yamada’s thoughts travel until he feels a rough pull from behind.
“Ryosuke!” A frantic call of his name and Yuto’s worried face suddenly invade Yamada’s vision.
Yamada looks at Yuto in confusion. Why is the man looking at him that way? He tries to call Yuto’s name but nothing is coming from his throat, which strangely feels hoarse. It’s as if he was overusing his vocal chord by screaming his lungs out.
“Ryosuke, calm down!” Yuto shakes his shoulders roughly. That’s when he realizes that he has been the one screaming. And when he stops, the sound from the back of his mind disappears.
“Yu-to?” Yamada looks up expectantly, though he himself doesn’t know what it is that he expects.
“Oh, Ryosuke I’m so sorry.” Yuto caresses Yamada’s cheek like he’s a fragile china doll, before pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry about your sister.”
Memories start flowing back to Yamada as the words of the doctor are replaying inside his head.
“It was not a dream?” He whispers shakily into Yuto’s chest, and when Yuto only tightens his embrace, Yamada knows he was not dreaming.
“No, no, no! Misaki, no!” Yamada starts to protest against Yuto’s hold but the man refuses to let him go. “Yuto, let go! I need to see Misaki! I need to make sure with my own eyes!”
Yamada starts punching and kicking Yuto, doing anything to have Yuto let him go. But the man is strong for a lanky guy because he doesn’t budge even an inch as Yamada keeps on screaming and shouting in his arms. Until his body gives up and he falls limp into Yuto’s arms. And then he remembers no more.
***
The next time he comes around, he’s sleeping in an unfamiliar bed with a strong smell of disinfectant in the air. He turns to his left to see something is hooked into his arm. He then turns to his right and finds Yuto smiling softly at him as he brushes Yamada’s bangs away.
“You had a panic attack. And suffered from mild dehydration. So they hooked you up and told us to wait until the saline is out and they can discharge you.” Yuto answers Yamada’s unsaid question and he hums in understanding.
“I have called Matsumoto-san and explained the situation. He said that you are on leave until you think you are ready to return. That Matsumoto-san, I’m sure he has taken a liking on you. You would normally receive a notice of dismissal otherwise.” Yuto tries to lift up the mood by saying so, but Yamada’s face doesn’t change.
“Yama-chan, are you okay?”
Yamada doesn’t answer. instead he looks away and avoids Yuto’s eyes.
“Of course you are not okay, what am I saying?” Yuto chuckles helplessly. “I will return to the restaurant tomorrow though.”
This earns Yamada’s attention.
“You won’t stay?” He quickly turns back at Yuto, his face hoping.
Yuto smiles sadly at him, “I can’t, Yama-chan. Sooner or later, I have to return to the restaurant.”
“But-“ Yamada averts his gaze, “Can’t you stay for another day?”
“I would love to,” Yamada smiles but it soon fades at the look in Yuto’s face. “But I can’t. I would be imposing on a serious family matter if I were to stay longer. And I can’t do that.”
Yamada must have made a disappointed look because Yuto flicks his forehead, an act he often does to cheer Yamada up.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I’m going very far where you couldn’t reach me.” Yuto crosses his hands in front of his chest in a scolding manner, before his features soften. “In this time, you have to support each other and stay strong together, as a family. Believe in your family and have faith, that you can overcome this together. It is okay to be weak sometimes. You can laugh, you can cry, you can do and be anything. And then you will overcome everything together, as a family.”
A small smile makes its way to Yamada’s lips. Yuto is right. He’s not helping anyone by breaking down like this.
“And always remember, that I will always be there when you need me. I’m only a call away whenever you need an ear. And I will be there, waiting for you to return.”
Yamada is thankful for this man here by his side. Without Yuto, Yamada couldn't even imagine what kind of a mess he would be by now. Without Yuto, Yamada would be lost.
“Thank you, Yuto.” Yamada reaches out to grip Yuto’s hand, “For everything.”
***
It has been a month since he last saw Yuto. They still exchange mails, and some nights Yamada would call Yuto just to listen to the taller man talking. Yuto’s voice always has a calming effect, and Yuto knows this. That’s why he keeps on talking during their phone calls until Yamada falls asleep. He would also listen to Yamada’s worries and problems, offering advice when Yamada needs it, and simply listening in silence when all Yamada needs is to vent out.
And now, after one long month, Yamada makes his decision.
“Yamada.”
Yamada bows at the man who then smiles before giving him a short nod. And before he gets to say anything, he already finds himself being tackled by long limbs, which belong to none other than Aiba Masaki.
“Yama-chan, you’re back!” The man exclaims gleefully as he half-drags Yamada to where the others are. “We’ve missed you! Nino keeps complaining how he misses his loyal game-observer.”
“I do not!” Ninomiya protests before he greets Yamada with a smile. “Welcome back, Yamada-kun.”
“Oi, Yama-chan, you’re back!”
A series of noogies and high-fives and welcome-backs greet his return to MJ’s kitchen. And he laughs along with the rest of them.
“How is your sister, Yamada-kun?” Sakurai offers him a welcome-back handshake as he asks that question.
Yamada sees how Ninomiya nudges him in the ribs and how Matsumoto is throwing him a disapproving look, and the man is ready to apologize when Yamada shakes his head.
“It’s all right, Sakurai-san,” Yamada smiles. “Nothing much has changed. But my parents are thinking of asking for a second opinion and taking my sister to another hospital, which specializes in brain problems. We were told not to expect a lot, but it is better than nothing at all.”
“Will you- you know?” Hikaru starts nervously, but Yamada gets him just fine.
“I will not resign,” he says confidently. “Of course, the thought came to my mind several times, but I have a feeling that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I were to give up now. This has been my dream, and I think that my sister would be very disappointed should she know that I resign now.”
Yamada takes a deep breath before turning towards Matsumoto.
“That’s why, if it is alright, I'd like to return to work back here? Things won’t be easy for me from now on, but I promise that I will contribute the best that I can to this restaurant. I mean, I love it here and the guys are like my second family and all, so-“
“Yamada, breath.” Matsumoto raises a hand to stop him from babbling any further. “I believe I said that I gave you permission to leave until everything is settled, and that you are welcome to return whenever you’re ready.”
Yamada holds his breath, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“And those words still stand. Of course you may return here. You are always welcome here.”
Yamada bets that the loudest cheer comes from Hikaru. When he turns around, he catches him wiping his snot on Yabu’s shirt who smacks him across the head for being disgusting. He laughs at the scene. How he missed it all.
“But!” Matsumoto raises his voice to gain everyone’s attention, “Since you have yet to finish your trainee period, you will continue from where you left off. You have a lot of catching up to do, so you better be ready.”
Yamada steels his face. He’s ready for anything.
“But it’s you, so I’m sure you will do just fine.” Ninomiya is the one who breaks the tense silence with his casual comment. “You missed the grand opening, that’s too bad.”
“Right! Matsujun was extra scary that night because he wanted everything to be perfect! I will show you the video later on. Oh-chan dropped by in a suit for the opening, you know. That was so very unusual.”
Aiba has started off with his usual monologue when a hand pulls Yamada. Turning around, he finds himself face-to-face with Yuto. The man signals Yamada to follow him, and leads him to the veranda where the two of them can see the beautiful sunset.
“I’m glad that you decided to return.” Yuto starts as he leans onto the railing.
“Thanks to you, I finally made up my mind.”
“Really? Maybe I should apply as a motivation trainer then?” Yamada laughs at the smug look on Yuto’s face. “Hey, Yama-chan, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Yuto’s look is suddenly serious, as he looks Yamada straight in the eye.
“The truth is, I... I lo-“
Yamada cuts Yuto’s words as he leans in and pecks him on the lips. It is a short yet sweet kiss. They linger for a moment before Yamada pulls away, a blush decorating his face at his own bold act.
“I know, Yuto.” He says as he avoids Yuto’s gaze. “I, uhm, thank you, for always being there for me. For being my strength. For everything.”
Yuto still looks like he’s in a daze before he breaks into a huge grin just a second later.
“Oh my, you are so adorable.” Yuto laughs as he pulls Yamada close. “You have no idea how much I love you.”
Yuto leans in for another kiss. Longer this time. And as they pull back, Yamada smiles shyly at him.
“I love you, Ryosuke, so very much.”
Yamada smiles.
“I love you too, Yuto.”
~~~End~~~