JE-united surprise fic for arashianelf Part 15/17
- - + OHNO SATOSHI + - -
Ohno thinks that never in the history of Seijo's theatre club - maybe in the history of every Japanese university's theatre club - there has ever been a play set up on stage faster than this. Nino's script itself, based on his short story The Princess in the Flames as well as on excerpts from Ohno's dream diary (of course that was a secret) was finished in less than one week and so preparations could be done simultaneously and proceed quickly. With this and the help of their club members and Sakurai as well as Sakamoto-sensei's support (who seem to be a huge fan of Nino's work already, well Sakurai obviously not only because of Nino's work) it took just about one month when the play is ready to open its curtains.
Everyone has worked on high speed. The stage setting might not be the most detailed ever but it was simple and well done, fitting the atmosphere. For the costumes, Ohno managed to ask TsubakiKabuki to lend them some old kimonos and people have been astonished, not only by the wonderful costumes but also by finding out about Ohno's part-time job as kabuki actor - or actress, depending on how you see it. Nino has been a bit worried about his friend's coming out but for some reason; Ohno didn't see the point in keeping anything a secret any longer. He does not shout it out from the rooftops but people can conclude for themselves that Ohno Satoko and Ohno Satoshi are the same person and the young man doesn’t hide it when people ask him about it.
The good thing of being so casual about the whole topic, without making a big deal out of it, is that miraculously people don't make a big deal out of it either and maybe it is also thanks to Ohno's natural charm that everyone seems to more or less accept him as it is. However, Nino can't help but tell his friend how amazing this is. How amazing he is and that he's convinced that Jun will be able to accept him too, once he overcomes his shock.
Talking about Jun makes Ohno feel nervous, of course. It turned out that Sakurai knows Jun and that he managed to get hold of him somehow - Ohno doesn't know all the details but he's just happy to hear that Jun is well, he's been worried about him. Thanks to Sakurai , it was easy for Ohno to send out the invitation to the theatre play to him, attaching a note telling the other that he's deeply sorry about the circumstances but he's still not ready to give up what they had - what they still have - and that he's hoping for a second chance.
Ohno has made his decision. He won't think about switching gender any more. He's a genderqueer man with the reborn soul of a woman. He likes who and what he is, he never had a problem with it and he won't let it become a problem ever again. He can sacrifice a lot for the love of his life but Nino and Sakurai are right, if their love is still true, Jun will either love him again as the person he is now… or not. Then, it is fate and Ohno will accept it. He still can become friends with Jun… maybe. But for now, the young man is full of hope. He won't give up, not without trying. He'll show Jun that he's willing to fight for him and his love and the rest is up to him.
Right now, Ohno is standing backstage, poking his head out from the curtains on the stage in Seijo's main hall, which the theatre club was able to rent. The hall was already filling slowly with some early audience, some students from the university, some accompanied by friends or family, a bunch of professors gathering at the entrance, exchanging some chats, the university magazine's staff members, and some more people, mostly from outside. Somehow, the news about the play - probably thanks to Sakamoto-sensei's enthusiastic advertisement - has spread like a wildfire and many people seem to be interested in the play due to the specific topics it will address. Still nobody knows that it also tells a very personal story of Ohno, even if for some parts people might guess that they apply to him.
Despite being confident and known for not being nervous before stage performances, he has to admit that today, he is very nervous. Well, his life is at stake. Or, his love life at least. Moreover, he still doesn't know if Jun will come or not. He must have received the invitation, Ohno confirmed it with Sakurai but still it doesn't seem clear if the journalist will attend the play or not.
"Senpai," Ohno can hear a familiar voice behind him. "Are you OK?" He faces Nino when he turns around, who gives him a friendly smile. "I'm sure, he will come. Just wait for him."
"Thank you, Nino," the older student answers and after sending a last look out to the audience, he retreats to the backstage completely, trying not to stumble over the long sleeves of the colourful costume he's already wearing. The princess' one. He smiles at his friend. "Really, thank you for everything!"
Nino reaches his hand to scratch the back of his head. "Thank me when everything is over and our plan worked out," he says. "Not, that I don't believe that it will work out!" the student adds quickly.
Ohno chuckles. "Yeah, let's believe in it."
"We're almost ready. Let's go to the others and talk about a few last details," Nino suggests and Ohno nods, following his friend.
Nino, who is taking a role too in the play, the one of the storyteller, is also wearing a kimono, but nothing as impressive as Ohno has. The young man did not write his own or Sakurai's character into the play. First, he considered it, but he was reluctant and too shy to openly show his own relationship on stage (even if Sakurai told him that he'll be fine either way). In the end, he decided to focus on the story revolving around the characters based on Ohno and Jun only, since it is their main goal to draw Jun in with this story.
The group of students, performing as actors or backstage staff, gathers nearby and Higashide, the one who will play Matsumoto Junta is still reviewing some of his lines. Most of them are dressed in kimonos since the first act is set in ancient Japan, telling the story of how the young lord and his princess met and fell in love with each other. The voices coming from the front of house, indicating that more and more people are joining the audience, gives them an exciting thrill, as before every play they perform, but this time, it's special.
Ohno takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, trying to focus. When he feels Nino's hand on his shoulder, he opens his eyes again and looks around at his fellow students, all of them became quiet and exchange smiles and anxious looks from nervousness. Nino takes the first step and reaches his hand out to the middle of the circle they have formed, ready for their performance and one after one, they put their hands on top until the last one and with their voices and feelings combined they make a short round call to help them focus, ending it with an encouraging yell.
The backstage staff hurries away first, checking the set for the last time and one of them runs to the opposite side of the stage, ready to start the CD player with the music they will use to accompany the performance. The lights in the performance hall are turned out and the audience falls from happy chatting into a slight, anticipating mass of whisper, which falls silent as soon as the music, a slow, Japanese traditional tune, starts.
Nino enters the stage with a big book in his hands and settles in the middle of a spotlight at the left side of the stage, looking into the audience. He bows.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please let us, the Seijo theatre club ensemble, welcome you tonight for our new play, a play about reincarnation, fate, and a love that overcomes time," Nino starts and then he opens the book, pretending to read the story from there.
"Once upon a time, there was a princess…," he begins the story with the classic words and with the first few sentences, he gives the first impression of the time and place that the audience will be guided to. With his prologue, he is setting the first stones of the story of a couple, separated in an awful way but so much in love that fate decides to give them a second chance in a second life.
When Nino comes backstage again after the introduction, he quickens his steps as soon as he's out of sight for the audience, rushing towards Ohno who is preparing for the next scene.
The young man reaches for the actor's sleeve and flashes him an encouraging smile.
"He's here," Nino says. "He's sitting in the third row, middle. Don't be nervous, it will be fine."
Ohno's heart skips a beat. Jun is here. He's actually here! This means that he at least wants to give this a chance, doesn't it? The young man tries to calm down his breathe, and nods thankfully to Nino before he goes back into acting mode. "I'm ready for this."
"Give your best."
The moment when Ohno enters the stage - followed by Nino who takes his place as the narrator again quickly - the whole audience gasps. The sight of a beautiful young woman with long black hair, wearing this wonderful kimono, must take their breath away. But Ohno doesn't care how people see him. Right now, he only cares about how Jun will see him.
When he takes his position in the middle of the stage, the simple setting hints of a traditional garden with a large tree behind him and the spotlight mimicking a beautiful sunset, he allows his eyes to search for him. Third row, middle, Nino said, and that is where Ohno's gaze wanders. The spotlight is bright and his eyes take a bit of time to adjust but as the silhouettes in front of him take shape, he spots the familiar man, sitting there, looking as gorgeous as always, focused on him. They lock eyes for a moment, before Ohno lowers his head and looks at the floor.
"Oh, look, a lizard!" he exclaims, his voice sounding naturally high, when he pretends to see a small reptile running over the ground. He captures the adventurousness and agility of his role - his past - Princess Ohno Saki perfectly and it's not even that much of an act, it's much more like living through a dear memory.
Princess Saki's playing through the garden, astonished by the smallest animals and the tiniest flowers is accompanied by a friendly tone and joyful laughter, inviting the audience to settle in a comfortable surrounding and pulling them into the past. It doesn't take long until the princess on stage gets company, in the form of a good-looking young lord, Lord Matsumoto Junta, played by Higashide, a young samurai who fell in love with the princess. He watches her playing and despite this behaviour might be unfitting for the daughter of high ranks, he doesn't stop her but just smiles at her. When she finally climbs the tree, her huge kimono hindering her movements, he gets worried for her.
"Mylady!" the young lord yells, just the moment the princess slips from the tree and thankfully he's just there to catch her in his arms.
The princess looks up at him as he asks her if she was hurt, shaking her head to take away his worries.
"Please marry me!" the young man then exclaims, all of a sudden. "I will take care of you and watch out for you so that nothing will ever hurt you, I promise."
The lights go out and there is rustling on the stage to change the setting while the music turns into a quick, joyful tone. The drums and the shamisen open the following ceremony scene - a colourful and glorious wedding ceremony The couple is sitting in the middle of the stage, wearing traditional black and white wedding kimonos and people around them are celebrating and wishing them good luck. They sing and dance, the princess, and the lord swear their eternal love to each other, happily.
Then, the scenery changes again, the glorious festivity vanishes and again the storyteller enters the stage, a simple spotlight focusing on him. He opens his book on another page and the music turns to something slower and more dramatic.
"The couple lived happily for years, supporting each other and loving each other truly. They were blessed with a baby, a wonderful child that was the representative of their love, uniting the most beautiful and most adorable features of the princess and the lord. However, when war came, Lord Junta had to leave his castle, leaving behind his wife and child."
On the right and left side of the stage, some more spotlights, this time red ones, appeared, Lord Junta and some companions entering from the one side, a couple of other people from the other side, behind Nino. The two groups approached each other until they met in the middle of the stage.
Then, Lord Junta as well as the head of the opponent clan let out blood curdling battle cries before they dashed towards each other, their swords above their heads, and the dance of death begins, accompanied by the intense drumming of the taiko and red lights flashing over the scenery, making it hard to follow the actual happenings. When people around the lord start collapsing to the floor, the lights decrease and finally, the lord is the only one left, a single red spotlight on him as he raises his sword in a victory pose.
The lights go out and the storyteller's voice speaks up again.
"Even though he won on the battlefield, proving his skills as a master of the swords and a brilliant tactician, he didn't count on the deep devilishness of his opponent who hired a group of ninja to weaken the lord's position and take the most important thing from him - his little family."
Dramatic music continues and a group of black dressed ninja appears on stage together with the princess, dressed in another, simpler costume this time, holding a small bundle in her arms. The ninja first tiptoe around her, until they form a circle, running around her again and again. The music is winning on intensity, the tempo speeding up.
"The assassins captured the princess and her child in her castle, while Lord Junta was still on his way back home from the battlefield, anticipating the reunion with his beloved wife. When the ninja set a fire in the castle, which the princess was not able to escape from, she knew that things were over. She pressed her baby close to her chest and sent her prayers to the gods, begging for her husband's safety, begging to get reborn and to get a second chance to meet him again in another life."
Suddenly, the black dressed ninja pull out red and yellow light fabrics, whirling them through the air, tightening the circle around the princess. From the audience, people could watch the stage burn like this, the orange spotlight underlining the impression of a fire and the princess screams, before she collapses and gets buried under the black ninja bodies, the fabric disappeared again.
"What she didn't know was that her husband, as soon as he returned home and found his beloved dead, his heart broke and he decided to follow her to death, praying for the exact same thing, not knowing that his suicide was a big mistake, despite the romantic intentions," the storyteller's voice blends out. The spotlight on him vanishes, hiding the fact that Nino leaves the stage.
"I pray to the gods, and beg for forgiveness but please, reunite me with my princess, in death," the samurai who appeared on stage, kneeling on the ground, says.
His short sword is lying in front of him. He reaches out to it, lifts it, the blade pointing at his own body, and pushes it, moaning before he collapses on the side, dead, the dramatic music playing out until there is just silence and the spotlight focused onto the dead lord goes out to leave the stage in perfect darkness.
After a few seconds and some shifting in the dark, Nino, still in the storyteller's role, enters the stage again, his appearance changed. His hair is styled more prominently, and he's wearing modern clothes, the huge book exchanged with a modern tablet, which he's holding casually in one hand. The music in the background now is a catchy pop tune.
"The year 2016," Nino announces the jump in time. "Saburo, a young man, wakes up in his room, facing a new day. What nobody knows is that Saburo is not a normal student. That he is not a normal man. He is special."
Ohno, now performing as Saburo, dressed in pajamas, rises from his bed, yawning and stretching his arms and doing a few knee bends and shaking his body a bit in the rhythm of the song before he approaches a clothes rack next to his bed, draped with many different, flashy clothes. There are trousers, jumpers, t-shirts, but also skirts and dresses. On the ground, sneakers and high heels and on top of everything there is a wig with brown wavy hair hanging.
The young man grabs a few seemingly random clothes and stands in front of a tall mirror, holding a jumper and then a dress in front of his body, making a wondering expression. In the end, he decides on the dress and with big smile he reaches to the wig on the clothes rack and exits the stage.
"What is special about Saburo is that he is not limited by his physical gender," the storyteller starts to explain. "He might be born as a man but his mind set is flexible and enables him to live his life as he wishes, either as a man or a woman, without being forced to decide on a role he wants to take over in society. And on that special day, Saburo decided to go out as a woman, feeling more comfortable with the long hair brushing his face and some make-up on to shine a little more than usual. This is the day when he meets Junpei."
In the next scene, the setting quickly changed by some backstage staff to a scenery that hints at a shopping district, Saburo enters the stage again, dressed in the beautiful dress and wearing a wig and high heels. He looks stunning as a woman - as usual - and due to his flashy clothes and the brown hair he stands out among the few supporting actors and actresses who act as people on their way to go shopping, looking at shop windows, talking silently to friends. Saburo walks around, slowly, looking here and there, smiling happily.
Higashide, dressed as Junpei in modern clothes too, a pair of jeans and a black shirt with a jacket over it, appears, walking through town too, leisurely. When he suddenly comes to a halt in front of Saburo, the spotlight focuses on the two characters, while around them; everyone hurries to leave the stage. They look at each other, obviously surprised; Saburo lifts his hand up to his lips, his eyes widened.
"You…," Saburo finally starts, astonished. "I know you. You are the man of my dreams!" he exclaims and goes a few steps forward, until Junpei reaches his arms out and pulls Saburo into a hug.
"I don't know you but it feels like I finally found you after a long search," the man states, brushing his hand over the brown hair. "This must be fate."
While Nino continues to tell the story, showing different small scenes between Junpei and Saburo on stage, the two of them are strolling through the city, eating something together, holding hands, hugging, and kissing.
"While Saburo is capable of remembering his past life, experiencing the memories in his dreams, Junpei can't remember anything. Maybe, this is his punishment for betraying fate by committing suicide in his previous life. However, the two of them fall in love again and become a couple right away. But Junpei still thinks that Saburo is a woman, believing that the two of them could get married and have a child, just like they did hundreds of years ago. It is not the case that Saburo intended to betray his lover; it's just that he didn't realize that his real gender would be a problem and living as a woman with Junpei from his perspective would be so easy, that he wouldn't mind it at all. Nonetheless, it does not change the truth and eventually it will became inevitable to tell Junpei and so, Saburo faces the day when he tells his partner the truth."
The scenery has changed to another date, showing the couple walking hand in hand, until Saburo stops, drawing back his hand and facing Junpei, announcing that he has to tell him something important.
"Please, don't hate me for this," Saburo says in a pleading voice. "I never meant to betray you, I just wanted to love you and wanted you to love me. Just like we used to."
With those words, he pulls the wig from his head, revealing his true self, shocking Junpei so much that the young man retreats a few steps. When Saburo reaches out his hand, to touch his partner's arm, the other steps back even further, slightly shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, I - I need some time to think about this," the young man says, turning around and leaving the stage.
Saburo stays behind, his hand slowly sinking, hanging his head, sadly. He crushes to the floor, crying, crouching as to protect his cringing, broken heart. The light goes out.
"Opening his heart to Junpei was risky, Saburo knows that. But it was the right choice, it was the only fairness Saburo could offer to the other man in this situation. Getting rejected, is breaking his heart, of course, he knows he might have been a bit naïve. He can understand that the other needs time to think. Maybe he wouldn't come back, but maybe he would. Saburo meets a really dark and sad time in his life during their separation, but he doesn't completely give up hope. Though what he hopes for isn't forgiveness, because he cannot change what he is, what fate made out of him. What he hopes for is another chance, acceptance, and love. And then, one day, Junpei comes back."
The play ends with Junpei and Saburo - dressed as a man - hugging each other. It's not completely obvious yet, if Junpei will keep his romantic relationship with Saburo, but it's obvious that he accepts the other as a person, no matter if he is a woman or a man and this alone, is enough for now.
Nino left the end kind of "open" on purpose, knowing that it would be too much to force a too frank, too blatant Happy Ending on Jun. In the end, it's not Junpei, the play's character to decide if Ohno would be accepted by his lover or not. After all, it is Jun's decision. Of course, they all bear the hope that Jun will give Ohno a second chance, that he still loves him and wants to be together with him. Or that at the very least they can stay friends. Ohno doesn't want to force Jun into anything that he doesn't want to, that much he found out himself . But he wants to share his life with him in one or another way, if he lets him.
The audience is, to be simply said, astonished. Ohno is a little bit surprised but in a positive way, that people seem to like their play so much. The story is kind of unusual but it seems that they have managed to get through with the topics they wanted to deliver. When the full cast and the backstage staff set their feet on stage for a last time, bowing in front of the audience, the hall is still applauding and they even receive standing ovations. Ohno's heart beats like crazy and he looks to his right side where Nino is standing, slightly flushed cheeks - he must be proud that people liked his script that much - and smiles at him happily. The cast members link their hands, Nino presses Ohno's hand encouragingly in the process and again they lower their heads before leaving the stage.
Ohno looks back to Jun's seat a last time, his eyes has been focused on him as much as he was allowed to watch the audience in between acting, as if he has been acting just for him (well, he kind of did) but when he searches for the familiar face, he realizes that Jun is gone. He looks around a bit but the young journalist is nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden, Ohno's heart sinks into the pits of his stomach and he feels like it is drowning in his stomach's acid, stopping to beat for a second. He loses hope again.
Jun is gone. Maybe, that means that all the efforts have been for nothing. Maybe, with this it's over.
Nino slightly pulls Ohno's hand so that he follows him backstage, the young actor still frozen from the shock. But Ohno follows him, slightly stumbling. It feels hard to breathe for him now and his vision is a little blurred. No, he doesn't want to cry yet. Jun watched the play. At least. He gave him a chance and he hopefully got his point. At least. If he's gone now, it might really mean that he doesn't want to share his life with Ohno any longer and nobody can force him, right? Ohno should be thankful for what he got.
At the backstage, the young man notices from the corner of his eye that Sakurai embraces Nino to congratulate him for the successful play and when the young assistant professor reaches his hand to pat Ohno's shoulder, and congratulates him too, Ohno tries hard not to burst into tears. He must look horrible because just a second later, Nino pulls him into a tight hug.
"You did well," his friend reassures him. "You did your best and I'm sure you reached his heart."
Ohno can't hold back his tears any longer and slightly wraps his arms around Nino, cramping his fingers into the other's costume. He sobs slightly.
"Jun is gone…," the young man says in a broken voice. "I lost him…"
"Maybe you didn't," the assistant professor suddenly says, pointing to the side exit of the backstage.
Ohno looks at him, wondering and when Nino loosens the embrace, the arts student has a better view of who is standing there, waving at him shyly. The next sob gets drowned by an insanely loud beat of his heart and Ohno cringes slightly at the strong sensation. He cannot believe his eyes. It's the young journalist, standing there, locking eyes with him and there is a small smile on his face. The young man cannot completely decipher it yet but maybe, this is a good sign and maybe it means that there is reason for hope.
"We'll help the others cleaning up, take your time," Nino says, smiling. "And call, if you need us."
Ohno can't take his eyes off of Jun but he nods, and then, his friends are gone and it feels like he and Jun are the only people left in the whole world. The young man takes a deep breath and lifts his arm, wiping away the last traces of tears with the edge of his sleeve.
"Ohno-san…," Jun finally starts.
The actor's heart jumps. Is this his chance? Or is this their real goodbye?
"Jun-kun… you're still here," he states the obvious, nervous like hell.
"Of course, I wanted to talk to you," the journalist says. "Thank you very much for the invitation. This was a very interesting and impressive play, if I might say so."
"Did you like it?" Ohno asks, shyly.
The other man nods. "I liked it."
"It's all thanks to my friend, he wrote the script based on my dreams and our story. I'm sorry if I told a bit too much, maybe you didn't want to disclose everything to the public... but I can assure you that nobody knows that this is based on a real story, so -," the young man starts babbling, unable to stop himself. For some reason he is afraid that if he does not tell Jun everything he wants now, he may never have the chance to.
"It's OK, Ohno-san, really. It's a really wonderful, tragic and touching story," the journalist chimes in. "I don't have any problem with it being shown on stage."
"Really?" the young actor asks to confirm.
"Really."
Ohno sighs, feeling relieved. "I'm glad then, thank you."
They look at each other, none of them saying anything further for a few minutes, before Jun breaks the awkward silence and lowers his head. "I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry. I behaved like a real jerk," he says. Ohno shakes his head slightly but Jun cannot see it, it's just then when he looks at Ohno, insecurely. "You know, when you told me you're not a woman, I was really shocked…"
"I know, I understand that," Ohno admits. "I'm really sorry for not telling you earlier."
"No, don't say that," Jun shakes his head, firmly. "I'm sorry for being so blind and not realizing anything."
Ohno chuckles, bringing his hand to his face to cover an insecure smile. "Well, I'll… take this as a compliment for my cross dressing skills, then."
Jun smirks. "You definitely can," he says, "And you can be proud of so many other things too."
The arts student blinks. "Like what?"
"Like your acting skills, both, in the kabuki ensemble as well as here now with the theatre group, for example," Jun starts. "You are stunning, really!"
Blushing, Ohno waves his hand, hectically. "No no, I guess it's thanks to Nino's gorgeous script…"
"It's not just the script," the other replies. "It's the whole thing and you're part of it. It was wonderful."
Again, they fall into a slightly awkward silence and just look at each other. Ohno's heart starts racing. Jun is so close to him, he's within reach and if Ohno would just take a few steps forward, he would be able to circle his arms around the young man's neck to hug him… but he doesn't. It's not the thing to do now. He doesn't want to scare the other away again.
To his surprise, it's Jun then who slowly comes a few steps forward, his eyes still focused on Ohno, whose breathing becomes harder and harder the closer Jun comes and the more nervous he gets. After a few more seconds, the young journalist lifts his hand and brushes it over Ohno's cheek, slowly, caringly. The touch feels like a pleasurable burn on Ohno's skin and he is ready to melt away, closing his eyes for a second and allowing himself to lean into the soft touch, carefully.
You are wonderful," he hears Jun's whispering voice, so close to him and he can feel the distinct warmth of the young man's breath.
Ohno shivers. Is it a dream? "You think so?" he whispers back, opening his eyes just to lock them with Jun's again.
"Yes, I do. I'm sorry for leaving you behind the other day… you must have felt horrible…," the man sounds sincerely sorry.
"You did not react to my calls and texts," Ohno starts, sounding a bit desperate. He doesn't want to remember that time.
"Yes. I was very confused," Jun continues. "I needed some time to think. I know, it's not an excuse. I hurt you with my behaviour and I regret it."
"Well, I shocked you pretty well," Ohno replies. Or course, he was hurt back then, but he never said that he cannot understand Jun's reaction. "You felt betrayed…"
"But I know that you didn't mean to betray me."
Ohno shook his head. "No, I didn't. But I guess I handled the matter wrongly."
"My reaction was too much though," Jun sighs.
"I don’t blame you."
"Don't blame yourself either."
"Yeah, maybe we should stop blaming ourselves," the young actor chuckles, slightly amused by the direction this conversation is taking.
Jun lowers his head again. "I'm really sorry, Ohno-san."
"Maybe we shouldn't apologize either," the other says. "It was… let's say, unlucky."
"Probably," the journalist agrees.
Silence again until Ohno raises his voice, in a gentle whisper. "So what now?" he asks, darting his eyes at Jun. Can he still hope? Or will Jun leave now after apologizing?
"What do you think?" Jun replies with another question.
Insecurely, Ohno steps from one foot onto the other. "I... I don't know but I wonder if we can at least be friends, maybe?"
"Friends?" the other asks.
Ohno blushes. "Well, I was also wondering if we can go back to where we were, but..."
"Back to being a couple?"
"...Yes. But I think that's just my wishful thinking," the young actor murmurs.
To his surprise, Jun chimes in immediately. "I think, we can try."
Ohno looks at him, astonished. His heartbeats make it hard for him to breathe. "What?"
"We can try," the journalist repeats.
"Are you being serious?" the other asks, feeling perplex, not sure if he can really trust his ears. "I mean... you know that it won't be exactly the same anymore, right? After all, I'm not who you think I am and -"
"You're Ohno-san," Jun said, determined. "And you're wonderful. That's all I need to know."
No, those words are too good to be true. Ohno has a hard time believing them. Isn't this just his imagination, a dream? "But... look, this is how it is. I'm a man," he clarifies again. "I like to think of myself as a man and as a woman, depending on my moods. Sometimes I enjoy dressing like a woman and behave girly, sometimes I like doing manly things. However, I do not intend to change that. It's who I am," he lets everything out, there will be no more misunderstandings between them. Jun just looks at him, his gaze not wavering at all. "Do you... do you think you're really able to love me like this?"
Jun nods and gets even closer. Ohno cannot even react properly before the young journalist wraps his arms around him, pulling the other into an embrace. A wave of heat runs through the young actor's body and yes, he really feels like being in a dream. The best dream he ever had. Jun brushes his fingers though Ohno's hair and the young man cannot help but lift his arms and cling to the other, first hesitating, then stronger, when he finally understands that the other won't push him away.
"I'm sure I am able to," Jun says into Ohno's ear. "I don't care if you're a man or a woman or both, I fell in love with you - twice -," he says, referring to their past life. "And I am still in love with you."
"I... I thought, you're straight," Ohno whispers his doubt, his fingers buried in the other's clothes.
"I thought so too, but maybe I'm not or maybe it just doesn't matter," Jun shrugs his shoulders a little. "I just know that I cannot ignore my own heart any longer. It's true, I'm not used to being in romantic relationships with guys but… it's first and foremost your character, your soul, that I love. And eventually, I'll love you as a whole, I promise. You might have to give me a little time to get used to everything but I don't intend to let you down, so if you still love me, please give me a chance. I promise, I would never hurt you again."
"Are those your real thoughts?"
Jun nods, still pressing Ohno close. Then he pulls back a little to be able to look him in the eye. "As real as I'm standing here right now. So what do you say?"
"Of course, I still love you too!" Ohno bursts, having a hard time not to start crying again - from joy this time. "I always did and I always will. And I hope you will be able to love me too."
"I already do," the young journalist says, leaning forward.
When his lips meet Ohno's, all of the young actor's doubts are wiped away in an instant. He melts into Jun's embrace, clinging onto his arms and moves his lips to answer the kiss, moaning silently from pleasure. His dreams are coming true again. They found their way back together. And he's pretty sure that no matter what happens, nothing will break them apart any longer.
Chapter 6 - Last Chapter - Part 1
Ohno thinks that never in the history of Seijo's theatre club - maybe in the history of every Japanese university's theatre club - there has ever been a play set up on stage faster than this. Nino's script itself, based on his short story The Princess in the Flames as well as on excerpts from Ohno's dream diary (of course that was a secret) was finished in less than one week and so preparations could be done simultaneously and proceed quickly. With this and the help of their club members and Sakurai as well as Sakamoto-sensei's support (who seem to be a huge fan of Nino's work already, well Sakurai obviously not only because of Nino's work) it took just about one month when the play is ready to open its curtains.
Everyone has worked on high speed. The stage setting might not be the most detailed ever but it was simple and well done, fitting the atmosphere. For the costumes, Ohno managed to ask TsubakiKabuki to lend them some old kimonos and people have been astonished, not only by the wonderful costumes but also by finding out about Ohno's part-time job as kabuki actor - or actress, depending on how you see it. Nino has been a bit worried about his friend's coming out but for some reason; Ohno didn't see the point in keeping anything a secret any longer. He does not shout it out from the rooftops but people can conclude for themselves that Ohno Satoko and Ohno Satoshi are the same person and the young man doesn’t hide it when people ask him about it.
The good thing of being so casual about the whole topic, without making a big deal out of it, is that miraculously people don't make a big deal out of it either and maybe it is also thanks to Ohno's natural charm that everyone seems to more or less accept him as it is. However, Nino can't help but tell his friend how amazing this is. How amazing he is and that he's convinced that Jun will be able to accept him too, once he overcomes his shock.
Talking about Jun makes Ohno feel nervous, of course. It turned out that Sakurai knows Jun and that he managed to get hold of him somehow - Ohno doesn't know all the details but he's just happy to hear that Jun is well, he's been worried about him. Thanks to Sakurai , it was easy for Ohno to send out the invitation to the theatre play to him, attaching a note telling the other that he's deeply sorry about the circumstances but he's still not ready to give up what they had - what they still have - and that he's hoping for a second chance.
Ohno has made his decision. He won't think about switching gender any more. He's a genderqueer man with the reborn soul of a woman. He likes who and what he is, he never had a problem with it and he won't let it become a problem ever again. He can sacrifice a lot for the love of his life but Nino and Sakurai are right, if their love is still true, Jun will either love him again as the person he is now… or not. Then, it is fate and Ohno will accept it. He still can become friends with Jun… maybe. But for now, the young man is full of hope. He won't give up, not without trying. He'll show Jun that he's willing to fight for him and his love and the rest is up to him.
Right now, Ohno is standing backstage, poking his head out from the curtains on the stage in Seijo's main hall, which the theatre club was able to rent. The hall was already filling slowly with some early audience, some students from the university, some accompanied by friends or family, a bunch of professors gathering at the entrance, exchanging some chats, the university magazine's staff members, and some more people, mostly from outside. Somehow, the news about the play - probably thanks to Sakamoto-sensei's enthusiastic advertisement - has spread like a wildfire and many people seem to be interested in the play due to the specific topics it will address. Still nobody knows that it also tells a very personal story of Ohno, even if for some parts people might guess that they apply to him.
Despite being confident and known for not being nervous before stage performances, he has to admit that today, he is very nervous. Well, his life is at stake. Or, his love life at least. Moreover, he still doesn't know if Jun will come or not. He must have received the invitation, Ohno confirmed it with Sakurai but still it doesn't seem clear if the journalist will attend the play or not.
"Senpai," Ohno can hear a familiar voice behind him. "Are you OK?" He faces Nino when he turns around, who gives him a friendly smile. "I'm sure, he will come. Just wait for him."
"Thank you, Nino," the older student answers and after sending a last look out to the audience, he retreats to the backstage completely, trying not to stumble over the long sleeves of the colourful costume he's already wearing. The princess' one. He smiles at his friend. "Really, thank you for everything!"
Nino reaches his hand to scratch the back of his head. "Thank me when everything is over and our plan worked out," he says. "Not, that I don't believe that it will work out!" the student adds quickly.
Ohno chuckles. "Yeah, let's believe in it."
"We're almost ready. Let's go to the others and talk about a few last details," Nino suggests and Ohno nods, following his friend.
Nino, who is taking a role too in the play, the one of the storyteller, is also wearing a kimono, but nothing as impressive as Ohno has. The young man did not write his own or Sakurai's character into the play. First, he considered it, but he was reluctant and too shy to openly show his own relationship on stage (even if Sakurai told him that he'll be fine either way). In the end, he decided to focus on the story revolving around the characters based on Ohno and Jun only, since it is their main goal to draw Jun in with this story.
The group of students, performing as actors or backstage staff, gathers nearby and Higashide, the one who will play Matsumoto Junta is still reviewing some of his lines. Most of them are dressed in kimonos since the first act is set in ancient Japan, telling the story of how the young lord and his princess met and fell in love with each other. The voices coming from the front of house, indicating that more and more people are joining the audience, gives them an exciting thrill, as before every play they perform, but this time, it's special.
Ohno takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, trying to focus. When he feels Nino's hand on his shoulder, he opens his eyes again and looks around at his fellow students, all of them became quiet and exchange smiles and anxious looks from nervousness. Nino takes the first step and reaches his hand out to the middle of the circle they have formed, ready for their performance and one after one, they put their hands on top until the last one and with their voices and feelings combined they make a short round call to help them focus, ending it with an encouraging yell.
The backstage staff hurries away first, checking the set for the last time and one of them runs to the opposite side of the stage, ready to start the CD player with the music they will use to accompany the performance. The lights in the performance hall are turned out and the audience falls from happy chatting into a slight, anticipating mass of whisper, which falls silent as soon as the music, a slow, Japanese traditional tune, starts.
Nino enters the stage with a big book in his hands and settles in the middle of a spotlight at the left side of the stage, looking into the audience. He bows.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please let us, the Seijo theatre club ensemble, welcome you tonight for our new play, a play about reincarnation, fate, and a love that overcomes time," Nino starts and then he opens the book, pretending to read the story from there.
"Once upon a time, there was a princess…," he begins the story with the classic words and with the first few sentences, he gives the first impression of the time and place that the audience will be guided to. With his prologue, he is setting the first stones of the story of a couple, separated in an awful way but so much in love that fate decides to give them a second chance in a second life.
When Nino comes backstage again after the introduction, he quickens his steps as soon as he's out of sight for the audience, rushing towards Ohno who is preparing for the next scene.
The young man reaches for the actor's sleeve and flashes him an encouraging smile.
"He's here," Nino says. "He's sitting in the third row, middle. Don't be nervous, it will be fine."
Ohno's heart skips a beat. Jun is here. He's actually here! This means that he at least wants to give this a chance, doesn't it? The young man tries to calm down his breathe, and nods thankfully to Nino before he goes back into acting mode. "I'm ready for this."
"Give your best."
The moment when Ohno enters the stage - followed by Nino who takes his place as the narrator again quickly - the whole audience gasps. The sight of a beautiful young woman with long black hair, wearing this wonderful kimono, must take their breath away. But Ohno doesn't care how people see him. Right now, he only cares about how Jun will see him.
When he takes his position in the middle of the stage, the simple setting hints of a traditional garden with a large tree behind him and the spotlight mimicking a beautiful sunset, he allows his eyes to search for him. Third row, middle, Nino said, and that is where Ohno's gaze wanders. The spotlight is bright and his eyes take a bit of time to adjust but as the silhouettes in front of him take shape, he spots the familiar man, sitting there, looking as gorgeous as always, focused on him. They lock eyes for a moment, before Ohno lowers his head and looks at the floor.
"Oh, look, a lizard!" he exclaims, his voice sounding naturally high, when he pretends to see a small reptile running over the ground. He captures the adventurousness and agility of his role - his past - Princess Ohno Saki perfectly and it's not even that much of an act, it's much more like living through a dear memory.
Princess Saki's playing through the garden, astonished by the smallest animals and the tiniest flowers is accompanied by a friendly tone and joyful laughter, inviting the audience to settle in a comfortable surrounding and pulling them into the past. It doesn't take long until the princess on stage gets company, in the form of a good-looking young lord, Lord Matsumoto Junta, played by Higashide, a young samurai who fell in love with the princess. He watches her playing and despite this behaviour might be unfitting for the daughter of high ranks, he doesn't stop her but just smiles at her. When she finally climbs the tree, her huge kimono hindering her movements, he gets worried for her.
"Mylady!" the young lord yells, just the moment the princess slips from the tree and thankfully he's just there to catch her in his arms.
The princess looks up at him as he asks her if she was hurt, shaking her head to take away his worries.
"Please marry me!" the young man then exclaims, all of a sudden. "I will take care of you and watch out for you so that nothing will ever hurt you, I promise."
The lights go out and there is rustling on the stage to change the setting while the music turns into a quick, joyful tone. The drums and the shamisen open the following ceremony scene - a colourful and glorious wedding ceremony The couple is sitting in the middle of the stage, wearing traditional black and white wedding kimonos and people around them are celebrating and wishing them good luck. They sing and dance, the princess, and the lord swear their eternal love to each other, happily.
Then, the scenery changes again, the glorious festivity vanishes and again the storyteller enters the stage, a simple spotlight focusing on him. He opens his book on another page and the music turns to something slower and more dramatic.
"The couple lived happily for years, supporting each other and loving each other truly. They were blessed with a baby, a wonderful child that was the representative of their love, uniting the most beautiful and most adorable features of the princess and the lord. However, when war came, Lord Junta had to leave his castle, leaving behind his wife and child."
On the right and left side of the stage, some more spotlights, this time red ones, appeared, Lord Junta and some companions entering from the one side, a couple of other people from the other side, behind Nino. The two groups approached each other until they met in the middle of the stage.
Then, Lord Junta as well as the head of the opponent clan let out blood curdling battle cries before they dashed towards each other, their swords above their heads, and the dance of death begins, accompanied by the intense drumming of the taiko and red lights flashing over the scenery, making it hard to follow the actual happenings. When people around the lord start collapsing to the floor, the lights decrease and finally, the lord is the only one left, a single red spotlight on him as he raises his sword in a victory pose.
The lights go out and the storyteller's voice speaks up again.
"Even though he won on the battlefield, proving his skills as a master of the swords and a brilliant tactician, he didn't count on the deep devilishness of his opponent who hired a group of ninja to weaken the lord's position and take the most important thing from him - his little family."
Dramatic music continues and a group of black dressed ninja appears on stage together with the princess, dressed in another, simpler costume this time, holding a small bundle in her arms. The ninja first tiptoe around her, until they form a circle, running around her again and again. The music is winning on intensity, the tempo speeding up.
"The assassins captured the princess and her child in her castle, while Lord Junta was still on his way back home from the battlefield, anticipating the reunion with his beloved wife. When the ninja set a fire in the castle, which the princess was not able to escape from, she knew that things were over. She pressed her baby close to her chest and sent her prayers to the gods, begging for her husband's safety, begging to get reborn and to get a second chance to meet him again in another life."
Suddenly, the black dressed ninja pull out red and yellow light fabrics, whirling them through the air, tightening the circle around the princess. From the audience, people could watch the stage burn like this, the orange spotlight underlining the impression of a fire and the princess screams, before she collapses and gets buried under the black ninja bodies, the fabric disappeared again.
"What she didn't know was that her husband, as soon as he returned home and found his beloved dead, his heart broke and he decided to follow her to death, praying for the exact same thing, not knowing that his suicide was a big mistake, despite the romantic intentions," the storyteller's voice blends out. The spotlight on him vanishes, hiding the fact that Nino leaves the stage.
"I pray to the gods, and beg for forgiveness but please, reunite me with my princess, in death," the samurai who appeared on stage, kneeling on the ground, says.
His short sword is lying in front of him. He reaches out to it, lifts it, the blade pointing at his own body, and pushes it, moaning before he collapses on the side, dead, the dramatic music playing out until there is just silence and the spotlight focused onto the dead lord goes out to leave the stage in perfect darkness.
After a few seconds and some shifting in the dark, Nino, still in the storyteller's role, enters the stage again, his appearance changed. His hair is styled more prominently, and he's wearing modern clothes, the huge book exchanged with a modern tablet, which he's holding casually in one hand. The music in the background now is a catchy pop tune.
"The year 2016," Nino announces the jump in time. "Saburo, a young man, wakes up in his room, facing a new day. What nobody knows is that Saburo is not a normal student. That he is not a normal man. He is special."
Ohno, now performing as Saburo, dressed in pajamas, rises from his bed, yawning and stretching his arms and doing a few knee bends and shaking his body a bit in the rhythm of the song before he approaches a clothes rack next to his bed, draped with many different, flashy clothes. There are trousers, jumpers, t-shirts, but also skirts and dresses. On the ground, sneakers and high heels and on top of everything there is a wig with brown wavy hair hanging.
The young man grabs a few seemingly random clothes and stands in front of a tall mirror, holding a jumper and then a dress in front of his body, making a wondering expression. In the end, he decides on the dress and with big smile he reaches to the wig on the clothes rack and exits the stage.
"What is special about Saburo is that he is not limited by his physical gender," the storyteller starts to explain. "He might be born as a man but his mind set is flexible and enables him to live his life as he wishes, either as a man or a woman, without being forced to decide on a role he wants to take over in society. And on that special day, Saburo decided to go out as a woman, feeling more comfortable with the long hair brushing his face and some make-up on to shine a little more than usual. This is the day when he meets Junpei."
In the next scene, the setting quickly changed by some backstage staff to a scenery that hints at a shopping district, Saburo enters the stage again, dressed in the beautiful dress and wearing a wig and high heels. He looks stunning as a woman - as usual - and due to his flashy clothes and the brown hair he stands out among the few supporting actors and actresses who act as people on their way to go shopping, looking at shop windows, talking silently to friends. Saburo walks around, slowly, looking here and there, smiling happily.
Higashide, dressed as Junpei in modern clothes too, a pair of jeans and a black shirt with a jacket over it, appears, walking through town too, leisurely. When he suddenly comes to a halt in front of Saburo, the spotlight focuses on the two characters, while around them; everyone hurries to leave the stage. They look at each other, obviously surprised; Saburo lifts his hand up to his lips, his eyes widened.
"You…," Saburo finally starts, astonished. "I know you. You are the man of my dreams!" he exclaims and goes a few steps forward, until Junpei reaches his arms out and pulls Saburo into a hug.
"I don't know you but it feels like I finally found you after a long search," the man states, brushing his hand over the brown hair. "This must be fate."
While Nino continues to tell the story, showing different small scenes between Junpei and Saburo on stage, the two of them are strolling through the city, eating something together, holding hands, hugging, and kissing.
"While Saburo is capable of remembering his past life, experiencing the memories in his dreams, Junpei can't remember anything. Maybe, this is his punishment for betraying fate by committing suicide in his previous life. However, the two of them fall in love again and become a couple right away. But Junpei still thinks that Saburo is a woman, believing that the two of them could get married and have a child, just like they did hundreds of years ago. It is not the case that Saburo intended to betray his lover; it's just that he didn't realize that his real gender would be a problem and living as a woman with Junpei from his perspective would be so easy, that he wouldn't mind it at all. Nonetheless, it does not change the truth and eventually it will became inevitable to tell Junpei and so, Saburo faces the day when he tells his partner the truth."
The scenery has changed to another date, showing the couple walking hand in hand, until Saburo stops, drawing back his hand and facing Junpei, announcing that he has to tell him something important.
"Please, don't hate me for this," Saburo says in a pleading voice. "I never meant to betray you, I just wanted to love you and wanted you to love me. Just like we used to."
With those words, he pulls the wig from his head, revealing his true self, shocking Junpei so much that the young man retreats a few steps. When Saburo reaches out his hand, to touch his partner's arm, the other steps back even further, slightly shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, I - I need some time to think about this," the young man says, turning around and leaving the stage.
Saburo stays behind, his hand slowly sinking, hanging his head, sadly. He crushes to the floor, crying, crouching as to protect his cringing, broken heart. The light goes out.
"Opening his heart to Junpei was risky, Saburo knows that. But it was the right choice, it was the only fairness Saburo could offer to the other man in this situation. Getting rejected, is breaking his heart, of course, he knows he might have been a bit naïve. He can understand that the other needs time to think. Maybe he wouldn't come back, but maybe he would. Saburo meets a really dark and sad time in his life during their separation, but he doesn't completely give up hope. Though what he hopes for isn't forgiveness, because he cannot change what he is, what fate made out of him. What he hopes for is another chance, acceptance, and love. And then, one day, Junpei comes back."
The play ends with Junpei and Saburo - dressed as a man - hugging each other. It's not completely obvious yet, if Junpei will keep his romantic relationship with Saburo, but it's obvious that he accepts the other as a person, no matter if he is a woman or a man and this alone, is enough for now.
Nino left the end kind of "open" on purpose, knowing that it would be too much to force a too frank, too blatant Happy Ending on Jun. In the end, it's not Junpei, the play's character to decide if Ohno would be accepted by his lover or not. After all, it is Jun's decision. Of course, they all bear the hope that Jun will give Ohno a second chance, that he still loves him and wants to be together with him. Or that at the very least they can stay friends. Ohno doesn't want to force Jun into anything that he doesn't want to, that much he found out himself . But he wants to share his life with him in one or another way, if he lets him.
The audience is, to be simply said, astonished. Ohno is a little bit surprised but in a positive way, that people seem to like their play so much. The story is kind of unusual but it seems that they have managed to get through with the topics they wanted to deliver. When the full cast and the backstage staff set their feet on stage for a last time, bowing in front of the audience, the hall is still applauding and they even receive standing ovations. Ohno's heart beats like crazy and he looks to his right side where Nino is standing, slightly flushed cheeks - he must be proud that people liked his script that much - and smiles at him happily. The cast members link their hands, Nino presses Ohno's hand encouragingly in the process and again they lower their heads before leaving the stage.
Ohno looks back to Jun's seat a last time, his eyes has been focused on him as much as he was allowed to watch the audience in between acting, as if he has been acting just for him (well, he kind of did) but when he searches for the familiar face, he realizes that Jun is gone. He looks around a bit but the young journalist is nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden, Ohno's heart sinks into the pits of his stomach and he feels like it is drowning in his stomach's acid, stopping to beat for a second. He loses hope again.
Jun is gone. Maybe, that means that all the efforts have been for nothing. Maybe, with this it's over.
Nino slightly pulls Ohno's hand so that he follows him backstage, the young actor still frozen from the shock. But Ohno follows him, slightly stumbling. It feels hard to breathe for him now and his vision is a little blurred. No, he doesn't want to cry yet. Jun watched the play. At least. He gave him a chance and he hopefully got his point. At least. If he's gone now, it might really mean that he doesn't want to share his life with Ohno any longer and nobody can force him, right? Ohno should be thankful for what he got.
At the backstage, the young man notices from the corner of his eye that Sakurai embraces Nino to congratulate him for the successful play and when the young assistant professor reaches his hand to pat Ohno's shoulder, and congratulates him too, Ohno tries hard not to burst into tears. He must look horrible because just a second later, Nino pulls him into a tight hug.
"You did well," his friend reassures him. "You did your best and I'm sure you reached his heart."
Ohno can't hold back his tears any longer and slightly wraps his arms around Nino, cramping his fingers into the other's costume. He sobs slightly.
"Jun is gone…," the young man says in a broken voice. "I lost him…"
"Maybe you didn't," the assistant professor suddenly says, pointing to the side exit of the backstage.
Ohno looks at him, wondering and when Nino loosens the embrace, the arts student has a better view of who is standing there, waving at him shyly. The next sob gets drowned by an insanely loud beat of his heart and Ohno cringes slightly at the strong sensation. He cannot believe his eyes. It's the young journalist, standing there, locking eyes with him and there is a small smile on his face. The young man cannot completely decipher it yet but maybe, this is a good sign and maybe it means that there is reason for hope.
"We'll help the others cleaning up, take your time," Nino says, smiling. "And call, if you need us."
Ohno can't take his eyes off of Jun but he nods, and then, his friends are gone and it feels like he and Jun are the only people left in the whole world. The young man takes a deep breath and lifts his arm, wiping away the last traces of tears with the edge of his sleeve.
"Ohno-san…," Jun finally starts.
The actor's heart jumps. Is this his chance? Or is this their real goodbye?
"Jun-kun… you're still here," he states the obvious, nervous like hell.
"Of course, I wanted to talk to you," the journalist says. "Thank you very much for the invitation. This was a very interesting and impressive play, if I might say so."
"Did you like it?" Ohno asks, shyly.
The other man nods. "I liked it."
"It's all thanks to my friend, he wrote the script based on my dreams and our story. I'm sorry if I told a bit too much, maybe you didn't want to disclose everything to the public... but I can assure you that nobody knows that this is based on a real story, so -," the young man starts babbling, unable to stop himself. For some reason he is afraid that if he does not tell Jun everything he wants now, he may never have the chance to.
"It's OK, Ohno-san, really. It's a really wonderful, tragic and touching story," the journalist chimes in. "I don't have any problem with it being shown on stage."
"Really?" the young actor asks to confirm.
"Really."
Ohno sighs, feeling relieved. "I'm glad then, thank you."
They look at each other, none of them saying anything further for a few minutes, before Jun breaks the awkward silence and lowers his head. "I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry. I behaved like a real jerk," he says. Ohno shakes his head slightly but Jun cannot see it, it's just then when he looks at Ohno, insecurely. "You know, when you told me you're not a woman, I was really shocked…"
"I know, I understand that," Ohno admits. "I'm really sorry for not telling you earlier."
"No, don't say that," Jun shakes his head, firmly. "I'm sorry for being so blind and not realizing anything."
Ohno chuckles, bringing his hand to his face to cover an insecure smile. "Well, I'll… take this as a compliment for my cross dressing skills, then."
Jun smirks. "You definitely can," he says, "And you can be proud of so many other things too."
The arts student blinks. "Like what?"
"Like your acting skills, both, in the kabuki ensemble as well as here now with the theatre group, for example," Jun starts. "You are stunning, really!"
Blushing, Ohno waves his hand, hectically. "No no, I guess it's thanks to Nino's gorgeous script…"
"It's not just the script," the other replies. "It's the whole thing and you're part of it. It was wonderful."
Again, they fall into a slightly awkward silence and just look at each other. Ohno's heart starts racing. Jun is so close to him, he's within reach and if Ohno would just take a few steps forward, he would be able to circle his arms around the young man's neck to hug him… but he doesn't. It's not the thing to do now. He doesn't want to scare the other away again.
To his surprise, it's Jun then who slowly comes a few steps forward, his eyes still focused on Ohno, whose breathing becomes harder and harder the closer Jun comes and the more nervous he gets. After a few more seconds, the young journalist lifts his hand and brushes it over Ohno's cheek, slowly, caringly. The touch feels like a pleasurable burn on Ohno's skin and he is ready to melt away, closing his eyes for a second and allowing himself to lean into the soft touch, carefully.
You are wonderful," he hears Jun's whispering voice, so close to him and he can feel the distinct warmth of the young man's breath.
Ohno shivers. Is it a dream? "You think so?" he whispers back, opening his eyes just to lock them with Jun's again.
"Yes, I do. I'm sorry for leaving you behind the other day… you must have felt horrible…," the man sounds sincerely sorry.
"You did not react to my calls and texts," Ohno starts, sounding a bit desperate. He doesn't want to remember that time.
"Yes. I was very confused," Jun continues. "I needed some time to think. I know, it's not an excuse. I hurt you with my behaviour and I regret it."
"Well, I shocked you pretty well," Ohno replies. Or course, he was hurt back then, but he never said that he cannot understand Jun's reaction. "You felt betrayed…"
"But I know that you didn't mean to betray me."
Ohno shook his head. "No, I didn't. But I guess I handled the matter wrongly."
"My reaction was too much though," Jun sighs.
"I don’t blame you."
"Don't blame yourself either."
"Yeah, maybe we should stop blaming ourselves," the young actor chuckles, slightly amused by the direction this conversation is taking.
Jun lowers his head again. "I'm really sorry, Ohno-san."
"Maybe we shouldn't apologize either," the other says. "It was… let's say, unlucky."
"Probably," the journalist agrees.
Silence again until Ohno raises his voice, in a gentle whisper. "So what now?" he asks, darting his eyes at Jun. Can he still hope? Or will Jun leave now after apologizing?
"What do you think?" Jun replies with another question.
Insecurely, Ohno steps from one foot onto the other. "I... I don't know but I wonder if we can at least be friends, maybe?"
"Friends?" the other asks.
Ohno blushes. "Well, I was also wondering if we can go back to where we were, but..."
"Back to being a couple?"
"...Yes. But I think that's just my wishful thinking," the young actor murmurs.
To his surprise, Jun chimes in immediately. "I think, we can try."
Ohno looks at him, astonished. His heartbeats make it hard for him to breathe. "What?"
"We can try," the journalist repeats.
"Are you being serious?" the other asks, feeling perplex, not sure if he can really trust his ears. "I mean... you know that it won't be exactly the same anymore, right? After all, I'm not who you think I am and -"
"You're Ohno-san," Jun said, determined. "And you're wonderful. That's all I need to know."
No, those words are too good to be true. Ohno has a hard time believing them. Isn't this just his imagination, a dream? "But... look, this is how it is. I'm a man," he clarifies again. "I like to think of myself as a man and as a woman, depending on my moods. Sometimes I enjoy dressing like a woman and behave girly, sometimes I like doing manly things. However, I do not intend to change that. It's who I am," he lets everything out, there will be no more misunderstandings between them. Jun just looks at him, his gaze not wavering at all. "Do you... do you think you're really able to love me like this?"
Jun nods and gets even closer. Ohno cannot even react properly before the young journalist wraps his arms around him, pulling the other into an embrace. A wave of heat runs through the young actor's body and yes, he really feels like being in a dream. The best dream he ever had. Jun brushes his fingers though Ohno's hair and the young man cannot help but lift his arms and cling to the other, first hesitating, then stronger, when he finally understands that the other won't push him away.
"I'm sure I am able to," Jun says into Ohno's ear. "I don't care if you're a man or a woman or both, I fell in love with you - twice -," he says, referring to their past life. "And I am still in love with you."
"I... I thought, you're straight," Ohno whispers his doubt, his fingers buried in the other's clothes.
"I thought so too, but maybe I'm not or maybe it just doesn't matter," Jun shrugs his shoulders a little. "I just know that I cannot ignore my own heart any longer. It's true, I'm not used to being in romantic relationships with guys but… it's first and foremost your character, your soul, that I love. And eventually, I'll love you as a whole, I promise. You might have to give me a little time to get used to everything but I don't intend to let you down, so if you still love me, please give me a chance. I promise, I would never hurt you again."
"Are those your real thoughts?"
Jun nods, still pressing Ohno close. Then he pulls back a little to be able to look him in the eye. "As real as I'm standing here right now. So what do you say?"
"Of course, I still love you too!" Ohno bursts, having a hard time not to start crying again - from joy this time. "I always did and I always will. And I hope you will be able to love me too."
"I already do," the young journalist says, leaning forward.
When his lips meet Ohno's, all of the young actor's doubts are wiped away in an instant. He melts into Jun's embrace, clinging onto his arms and moves his lips to answer the kiss, moaning silently from pleasure. His dreams are coming true again. They found their way back together. And he's pretty sure that no matter what happens, nothing will break them apart any longer.
Chapter 6 - Last Chapter - Part 1