Bang Bang, Shoot Shoot: Episode 6
Today, I tag borrisinabox because he was the first American I met with an informed reason for hating Australia. And now Australia is coming to him!
Day Six: Bigger and Better Broadband than... New Zealand
I don't like the country I live in. It's a hole, a great big desolate gap in the world where dumb people go to chase kangaroos and smart people call them child pornography. It was taken over by the Brits in 1788 and the Yanks after the Second World War. The former sent us criminals and labourers, the latter, mostly Spam. We are plagued by a nation-wide inferiority complex, as I have just proven, and as a result most of us believe that nothing interesting ever happens here. The rest of the world agrees, though only because we tell it so.
How does one escape from our primitive lifestyle and the harsh life of he outback which most of us wouldn't recognise if someone fed us with it? One uses the Internet! With that, one can be assured that everywhere else is pretty much just as full of stereotypes as we are, and everyone else thinks they're just as boring. Oh, wait, there's only one line out of the country! We have to share our porn with Japan!
Never fear, for Bigpuddle is here, cramming an ocean of information into our gutter. For just $20 per month, you can download.... 400 MB. There is a torrent of Baz Luhrmann's Australia hanging around that's pretty much exactly that size. But when you realise that it's actually just saying the same things we've been telling ourselves for the last century, you'll want something better.
Well, I did, anyway, though I payed $99 for 25 GB instead, because a movie a month is just not enough for me. And now, I'm paying even more. 60 GB for $150! Yep, they definitely charge you for the salt and the water, but I really wanted that Japanese porn.
My new cap was instated today, and in the last 12 hours I have downloaded 2.3 GB. I'm having fun! And so is that girl under the covers with her hot new toy...
Day Six: Bigger and Better Broadband than... New Zealand
I don't like the country I live in. It's a hole, a great big desolate gap in the world where dumb people go to chase kangaroos and smart people call them child pornography. It was taken over by the Brits in 1788 and the Yanks after the Second World War. The former sent us criminals and labourers, the latter, mostly Spam. We are plagued by a nation-wide inferiority complex, as I have just proven, and as a result most of us believe that nothing interesting ever happens here. The rest of the world agrees, though only because we tell it so.
How does one escape from our primitive lifestyle and the harsh life of he outback which most of us wouldn't recognise if someone fed us with it? One uses the Internet! With that, one can be assured that everywhere else is pretty much just as full of stereotypes as we are, and everyone else thinks they're just as boring. Oh, wait, there's only one line out of the country! We have to share our porn with Japan!
Never fear, for Bigpuddle is here, cramming an ocean of information into our gutter. For just $20 per month, you can download.... 400 MB. There is a torrent of Baz Luhrmann's Australia hanging around that's pretty much exactly that size. But when you realise that it's actually just saying the same things we've been telling ourselves for the last century, you'll want something better.
Well, I did, anyway, though I payed $99 for 25 GB instead, because a movie a month is just not enough for me. And now, I'm paying even more. 60 GB for $150! Yep, they definitely charge you for the salt and the water, but I really wanted that Japanese porn.
My new cap was instated today, and in the last 12 hours I have downloaded 2.3 GB. I'm having fun! And so is that girl under the covers with her hot new toy...