Remix fic for wintersjuly: "Waiting"

[jdrama_remixfic]

Title: Waiting
Author: acchikocchi
Fandom: Nobuta wo Produce
Rating: PG
Summary: When it's better not to give up.
Original story: Guilt Free At Three A.M. by wintersjuly

Comments

[jain]

This is one of my new favorite Nobuta stories. I love the way you've written Shuuji and Akira's interaction.

Akira made big eyes at him. "Shuuji gave me a spare key! Shuuji said I could come over whenever I - "

Shuuji cut him off before Akira could repeat verbatim the embarrassing speech Shuuji had made after graduation, before he realized Akira planned him to follow him to university as well.

I burst out laughing when I read this the first time. So sweet and cute, and Shuuji's annoyance is so perfectly in character (especially when it becomes obvious later in the story that he's not nearly as annoyed as he pretends to be).

I also really like what you did with the idea of giving up towards the end; it's a very nice expansion and complication of the same scene in the original story, and has lovely resonances with the drama, as well.

[acchikocchi]

...I forgot to track this post. I forgot to track this post! I was kind of moping to myself earlier about how it hadn't gotten any feedback, without thinking about the fact that I didn't post it so I wouldn't get comment notifications. Oh my god. XD

That said -- thank you SO MUCH, I was so happy to be surprised by this almost a month later. *dies* I was very unsure about this story when I first finished it, and I wasn't sure how my experimentation with the remix form came off. So I'm so glad it came across well for you, and the line you quoted is one of my own favorite bits. ;) Poor Shuuji, deciding to open up and give Akira a key as this symbolic emotional gesture, and then -- Akira's there ready to take him up on it. XD

Anyway! Thank you again! I really appreciate it. ♥

[peroxidepest17]

AHAHA I love your Akira, he is so perfectly bizarre. <3

[acchikocchi]

Hee hee, thank you. :D

[pinkpapyrus]

There were at least two moments where I had actual visuals of what was happening.

The first one was this:

Inside it was pitch-black save for the barest glow from the streetlights outside. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness well enough that he could make out looming, ghostly shapes where the furniture should be, the faint sheen of a glass surface.

You have a great knack for simple, clear description. I was imagining the room so vividly, it was like watching a Nobuta SP. (Speaking of, DID they do an SP?)

And then this:

Akira's eyes were fixed on the window. He spoke softly and rapidly. "Akira - I gave up. On Nobuta. But only in one way. Nobuta and Shuuji grew up and Akira still - I still can't give up. I can't give up on you two."I love Akira's struggle to take his persona off just long enough to make Shuuji believe he's serious. For me, writing Akira takes a certain frame of mind, and he's one of the more challenging characters I've tried to write, so I'm doubly impressed by the fluency with which you've portrayed him here

[acchikocchi]

Such a treat to find this in my inbox! *_*

No SP except for a behind the scenes program that aired just before the final episode. It's hard because I do think the series ended perfectly, basically, and the whole thing is done so tightly I would hate for them to add something unnecessary or do one of those awful recap specials..... on the other hand, GOD, MORE SHUUJI AND AKIRA AND NOBUTA. ;_;

There's so much about Akira that most people just ignore. In my mind, he's very complex and it's quite the challenge to deal with more than the happy-go-lucky idiot persona so maybe it's too intimidating to try? :\ I'm not sure but getting that balance of Akira-brand silliness and actual... person-ness... is not easy so thank you very much for the compliment. :)

♥♥ Lovely to hear from you, you are so kind. ♥

[riccichan]

I loved this story! They are both so perfectly in character. I could almost hear Akira's laughter and falsetto voice! :D It's so difficult (at least in my eyes) to not write Akira as this silly, ridiculous person - in too many fics, he comes across as really shallow, that way. But not in this story. Thanks for sharing! ♥

[jtriskell]

[acchikocchi]

Thank you! This has always been a special favorite. :)