Can't Stop the Rain Part I
Can’t Stop the Rain
By J. Coltrane
Prologue
Four Seasons Silicon Valley Hotel, Room 4035
Palo Alto, California
August 2007
It was raining. Eduardo hated the rain. The rain always brought back memories of events that he would rather forget. In the two months that he spent in London it rained practically every day that he was there. He was never lucky enough to see out the windows of the cheap flat that he was held captive in but the apartment had a tin roof that allowed him to spend hours listening to the rain that pounded relentlessly down on it. He rubbed his wrists together as a phantom ache shot through them. Although, he was currently reclining on the bed in the suite of a pricey hotel, his home for the duration of the depositions, he could still hear the pitter-patter of the rain hitting that roof.
The truth of the matter was that this whole situation was eerily similar to London. Yet again he found himself being fucked over by someone he had trusted. Yet another reason for his father to be disappointed in him and think that he was a worthless idiot.
God, how could he have trusted Mark so easily?
For the last few months he had been fueled by rage. Rage at the fact that Mark would throw their friendship in his face like that and go through such great lengths to fuck him over. He had to admit that part if not most of the rage was directed at himself. After all, he was still protecting the asshole. He had flat-out lied in his testimony during the Narendra and Winklevoss depositions, just to cover for Mark. Mark would probably chalk it up to him trying to protect his potential assets in Facebook. That wasn’t it at all. He still cared for the fucker even after Mark had stabbed him in the back. Not that Mark cared. The indifference that Mark showed day in and day out was killing Eduardo. It was like Eduardo had never mattered to him. Mark had meant everything to Eduardo. He was his best friend and maybe something more although Eduardo was not willing to face that yet. Mark was someone he had felt comfortable with no matter what. He never put up any front about his feelings. He could always count on Mark to tell him the truth. Sure, Mark could be a bit of an asshole sometimes but that was okay with Eduardo because he didn’t have to worry about hidden motives with Mark. Eduardo was not naïve. He knew that Mark was a master manipulator but he would never manipulate Eduardo. At least that was what Eduardo had thought at the time. He had been so wrong.
It had taken a long time for Eduardo to get to a point where he could trust someone again. Eduardo’s friendship not only with Mark, but with Dustin and Chris also, had helped him pull himself back from the brink so many times. But now with the rain falling outside, a lawsuit that seemed to have no end in sight, and Eduardo facing the fact that he was going to go back to his lonely, pointless life of trying to please his father, the rage that had been powering him forward was gone and in its wake he was left with a growing feeling of despondency that was eating him alive. He felt like he had lost everything. The old ghosts were resurfacing and starting to nip at his mind again, their voices sounding an awful lot like his father and. ……someone else. Telling him how worthless he was, how he could never do anything right, he was an embarrassment to the family, he was weak, he was a worthless whore who was only good for one thing. Well, fuck that.
It seemed like no one wanted him here and he was tired of the pain and the misery that he had to go through day and day out. He would never be happy again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been happy. Maybe when he made the final cut into the Phoenix club but even that was bittersweet because it was the beginning of the end of his friendship with Mark. Really, that pretty much summed up his whole life. Anytime something good happened to him it was only a matter of time before it blew up in his face. Well, he wasn’t going to go through that again.
He looked at the slew of medications that where lined up on the night stand: Zoloft, Ambien, and Klonopin. For as long as he could remember he had been in pain. In that moment he had an epiphany that the only way that the pain was going to end was if he ended it. It was a clichéd thought but he was beyond caring. This was going to end tonight.
Part II
London, England
Mid June 2000
Eduardo had never been so happy in his life. He had graduated high school Summa Cum Laude, he was going to be enrolled as a freshman at Harvard University in less than two months, and there was an ocean between him and his father, thanks to his father’s generous graduation present of a month in Europe. Of course Eduardo was no fool -- he knew the true motives behind his father’s gift.. Whatever, life couldn’t get any better then this, or so he thought. He had been in London for two days when he met Stewart.
Stewart was sweet, sexy, and charming and was built like an Adonis. He was also confusing the hell out of Eduardo. Stewart had been flirting with him nonstop ever since they had bumped into each other in the lobby of the hotel Eduardo was staying at. It turned out that Stewart was in London on holiday. He was taking a break before returning to classes at Oxford. They hit it off right away and had been hanging out ever since. Now it was a week later and Eduardo found himself totally infatuated with Stewart and he got the distinct impression that the feelings were mutual.
Sometimes Eduardo would catch himself thinking that Stewart was too good to be true. He was extremely intelligent and loved to talk about everything from the state of the European Union to the ridiculous celebrity gossip that was in the infamous London tabloids. Sometimes they would just talk for hours upon hours. Eduardo would ramble on about weather patterns and how secretly he wanted to be a meteorologist but his father would never go for that. Stewart would listen and give his adamant support, at the same time calling Eduardo’s father a wanker. The only fault that Eduardo could find in Stewart was that he was a little bit possessive which Eduardo had witnessed the other day when Stewart bristled at some guy in a London pub that he and Stewart had ventured to. Eduardo had to literally pull Stewart out of the place before he started a brawl. Eduardo would never admit it to Stewart but seeing him go all caveman on that guy just because he hit on Eduardo really turned him on.
Eduardo had to face facts. He was falling hard for Stewart and he hated the fact that he was going to be leaving soon. Maybe they could have a long distance relationship. They could make it work at least until one or both of them were out of college. Maybe Stewart would be willing to relocate after he graduated from Oxford.
Eduardo was in over his head. He had already extended his stay in London by two days but he was supposed to meet up with his Uncle Hernando and Aunt Felicia in Portugal two days from now. He was going to have to break the news to Stewart.
He and Stewart had been making out for the last hour and had just stopped because you could only make out for so long before things progressed to the next level, and Eduardo was nowhere near ready for that. Amazingly, Stewart was very understanding about the whole situation and that made Eduardo fall even harder for him. As they lay in the bed pressed together, content, Eduardo thought to himself that he never wanted this to end. Stewart was playing with Eduardo’s hair, twirling the strands around his fingers. Eduardo had been putting off telling him about his plans all evening and decided it was now or never.
“I’m going to have to catch a flight to Portugal the day after tomorrow. I have to meet my aunt and uncle there.”
Eduardo could feel Stewart’‘s hand freeze immediately. Eduardo found himself tensing up. He had been dreading this conversation because it meant that what they had shared for the last week would be coming to an end. If Stewart felt the same way he did then maybe just maybe they could work this out somehow.
After a brief pause, Stewart asked, “Okay, so when will you be coming back to London?“
“Well, here’s the thing... I was supposed to meet them, and then I was going to leave from there to go to Madrid. Then I would work my way back up through France before coming back here to fly out of Heathrow.”
Stewart abruptly moved to sit up on the edge of the bed, placing distance between him and Eduardo.
“Stewart,” Eduardo stammered. “I can change my plans around and just meet up with my relatives for a day or two and come back here for the remainder of my stay in Europe.”
“But then you would leave,” Stewart said, staring at the floor.
Eduardo nodded carefully and looked at Stewart, confused. “Yeah, I have to get back in six weeks. I’m starting my freshman year at Harvard.”
“What don’t you stay here? You could enroll at Oxford in the fall,” Stewart suggested, turning to face him. “I have a flat in Oxford. You could stay with me.” The hopeful look that Stewart was giving him was doing funny things to Eduardo’s chest. Oh, how he wished he could say yes. But, there was no way he could.
“Well, for starters, I haven’t applied to Oxford, and secondly, my father would never go for that. He has stated in no uncertain terms that it’s Harvard or nowhere.” This was not how Eduardo had seen this conversation unfolding. He didn’t know what to do but he knew that staying here with Stewart would not be an option. His father would kill him but he didn’t want to leave Stewart either.
“You are going to leave here and forget about me, aren’t you? I was just some plaything to pass your time with while you were here,” Stewart accused as he got off the bed and started to pace angrily around the small hotel suite.
“It’s not like that at all, Stewart. You’re the first person that’s ever made me feel this way,” Eduardo pleaded. He really liked Stewart and he didn’t like seeing him upset like this. He stood up and approached him, trying to comfort him. Eduardo was convinced that he was falling in love with Stewart; he just wasn’t ready to tell him that. After all they had only been together for a week.
“You spoiled little rich arsehole. You Yanks are all alike. It’s all about you. You don’t care who you hurt in the long run.”
“What?” Eduardo cried, aborting his attempt at comforting Stewart. The only time that Eduardo had ever heard Stewart raise his voice was at that stupid pub. But now he was yelling at Eduardo. It hurt him to hear Stewart say those things to him.
“You heard me, you wanker,” Stewart hissed, and then he shoved Eduardo so hard that he almost lost his footing. He recovered quickly and looked at Stewart, stricken. A little shiver of fear coursed its way up his spine. He had only known Stewart for a week. Yes, he had fallen for him but maybe Stewart wasn’t all he presented himself to be. There was one thing that Eduardo did know. Stewart had crossed a line by pushing him and maybe they need a little break from each other so that he could sort this out.
“Stewart, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I think you should leave,” Eduardo said, turning his back on Stewart. He was shaking with adrenaline and frankly couldn’t understand what had just happened. Stewart didn’t move a muscle, and Eduardo turned to face him again. “I’m not going to tell you again. I’m going to the restroom, and when I return I would appreciate it if you were gone.” With that, Eduardo turned to walk into the restroom. The next thing he saw was darkness.
He came to a few hours later, only to find that that he was lying face first on a bed, his hands were bound behind his back, and his head felt like it was about to explode from a throbbing pain located somewhere in the back of his skull. To say that he was panicking would be an understatement. Eduardo had to be the most unluckiest fucker out there. If this asshole didn’t kill him, his father sure would. For the second time in his life, Eduardo had been kidnapped.
The next few weeks of Eduardo’s life were filled with about as much pain as any human could imagine. He lost his virginity in the most brutal way possible at the hands of a delusional, psychotic rapist. He was constantly kept bound and gagged. And when the bounds were released and the gag was removed from his mouth he found himself missing them. When he was bound it was horrible because he was completely helpless with only the sound of the rain pounding on the roof to comfort him but when Stewart released him it always meant more pain. Every wakening hour was filled with the terror of what other torture he was going to be subjected to. Eduardo didn’t know how much more of this he could take. Stewart was convinced that they were in a loving relationship and the more Eduardo pleaded with him to let him go the more violent Stewart became. Sometimes Stewart would beat him into unconsciousness. So Eduardo learned to play along with the fantasy that Stewart had playing out in his head but that didn’t always work.
Like today. Stewart had returned to the flat with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine. He was in a chipper mood. Eduardo had learned to grow wary of Stewart when he seemed happy; that just meant that when he snapped he would be more vicious than usual. Apparently it was their two-month anniversary and Stewart wanted to celebrate. Stewart released Eduardo from his bonds and pulled him into a hug.
“Come on, darling, let’s make love,” Stewart whispered seductively into his ear.
Eduardo had to fight hard to keep himself from sobbing, as he forced himself to return Stewart’s embrace. He wanted to die. In fact he knew that he was going to die in this shitty, filthy flat, and no one would be the wiser as to what happened to him. People disappeared all the time.
Part III
Miami, Florida
Two months after the abduction
It had cost Roberto Saverin a small fortune to track Eduardo down. He would have paid ten times that without blanking an eye. Eduardo was his only child and he’d almost lost him once and the guilt of those events had soured his relationship with his son. Although he and Eduardo had trouble communicating that didn’t mean that Roberto didn’t love his son. If it had been up to him the cabrão who had hurt his son would never see the light of day again. The information that he had received said that Eduardo was in pretty bad shape. Roberto was at a loss as to what he should do. Sandra was furious with him for letting Eduardo go to Europe by himself. Hindsight is always twenty/twenty. Roberto had failed his son again.
London, England
Eduardo felt so dirty. He had showered ten times today alone. His mother was here with him but he couldn’t meet her eyes much less carry on a conversation with her. He was so ashamed of what he had let that asshole do to him. It was all his fault. He had led Stewart on. He was the one who had gotten in way over his head. How had he let his father down like that after he had trusted him to go to Europe alone?
A week from now, he and his mother would return to the States. Eduardo didn’t know when he would be able to go to Harvard, if ever. Right now he had bigger problems. He couldn’t let anyone within 10 feet of himself without freaking out. He didn’t know how he was going to be able to withstand the flight home, much less going off to college. He was a freak. He was damaged goods. He would never be normal again.
Miami International Airport
10 weeks after the abduction
As Eduardo stepped of the plane, Roberto Saverin had to fight hard to keep from gasping when he saw his son. His beautiful filho. For all their differences, Roberto truly loved his son and he wanted only the best for him. That’s why they had moved to America, so that Eduardo could be safe. It was all for nothing now.
He looked at Eduardo and saw that the smart and confident boy who had left for Europe two months ago was nowhere to be found. He looked at the bruises covering his son’s face, the limp that Eduardo was desperately trying to hide, the arm in the sling, and the way Eduardo was trying to shrink away from anyone who dared to come in contact with him, and realized that his son had all but been destroyed. There was one thing that he did know and that was that he would do everything in his power to make sure that his son got the best care possible to repair what that monster had done to him.
Eight month’s after the abduction
Eduardo had learned a lot about Stewart Rollins since his return from London. It turned out that Stewart was not in London on holiday. Nor did he attend classes at Oxford. He worked at the hotel that Eduardo was staying at and he had a brutally violent history. He had left Wales fleeing the suspicious death of his long time lover, who had repeatedly filed domestic abuse charges against him prior to his death. Stewart had been extradited back to Wales where he was going to face murder charges. Eduardo had been assured that Stewart would most likely be convicted, but if not, he would be transferred back to England where he would face numerous charges on Eduardo’s behalf. Having all of this knowledge about Stewart didn’t help Eduardo in the least.
It had been eight months since Stewart Rollins turned Eduardo’s life upside down and Eduardo really didn’t see things getting better anytime soon. His psychiatrist said that he was making progress by leaps and bounds but Eduardo was not convinced. Sure, he had progressed from having therapy everyday to just three times a week but he still couldn’t stand to be in close proximity to anyone, including his mother. He had given his father a black eye the first time he had attempted to touch him. So now his father thought that he was even more of a failure, if that was possible.
He and his therapist had talked about him continuing with his life. Calls had been made and the admissions department at Harvard had said that his position there would be held open for the foreseeable future. But Harvard was the last thing on his mind right now. Yes, it was important to him, and no, he didn’t want Stewart to take that away from him but right now he just wanted to get that asshole out of his head.
Sometimes Eduardo would find himself believing in the fantasy that he and Stewart were lovers. Just because Stewart lost his temper from time to time didn’t mean that he didn’t love Eduardo. Sometimes Stewart had made it easy for him by being the tender, gentle person that Eduardo had first fallen for. Now he was punishing himself for having those thoughts. How could he have been so stupid? Stewart was right. He was only good for spreading his legs.
14 months after the abduction
Things where starting to get a little easier for Eduardo. He wasn’t waking up in cold sweats with a scream on his lips every night. Sometimes he could go for days without having a nightmare but then it would all come crashing down on him in a moment’s notice and he would be a wreck for days, closing himself off from the rest of the world. Some days he still felt like giving up because things would never be right again but those days were actually starting to be outnumbered by the good days. On those days he felt like he could make it and that was something to hold on to.
22 months after the abduction
Eduardo almost felt like a new person. He had made great strides in his recovery and he could actually interact with people on a day-to-day basis without being on the verge of a panic attack. His mother could even hug him.
He had decided to continue with his plans to attend Harvard. After all it wasn’t just his father’s dream but his dream also. He would succeed. Eduardo always felt better when his mind was engaged and of course he was an over-achiever so Harvard would be the perfect distraction from the hell his life had become. For the first time in his life Eduardo felt like he had a future waiting for him. He knew things would not be perfect but maybe, just maybe, he could leave Stewart behind and continue on with his life.
Part IV
Harvard University
Fall 2003
Eduardo for the most part had kept to himself his freshman year at Harvard. He could count on one hand the number of people that he associated with on a regular basis. Mostly his life consisted of going to class, studying, eating, and sleeping. The only reason that he had joined the AEPi and the Harvard Investment Association was because his therapist, whom he still spoke to once a week, had encouraged him to seek more social interaction. So it was by complete chance that Eduardo stumbled upon Mark that night.
The first time Eduardo met Mark he was insulting some senior’s intelligence at an AEPi meeting. Apparently Mark thought that this guy was an idiot and that his 13 year-old sister knew more about computer programming. Which kinda figured because Mark tended to insult people… a lot. But that was Mark for you. He had an air of intelligence that surrounded him and he seemed like he wouldn’t take shit from anyone. Eduardo liked him a lot. It was nice to have someone around that didn’t hide his words in subterfuge. Eduardo had gotten really good at spotting fake people over the past few years.
He found himself timidly approaching Mark after the upperclassman that Mark had insulted walked off in a huff.
“Hi, my names Eduardo Saverin” he said awkwardly, holding his hand out in greeting. Mark looked at him, as if sizing him up. Apparently he passed the assessment because Mark shook his hand.
“Mark Zuckerberg.”
No nice to meet you or any other pleasantries, just his name. Direct and to the point.
“So, Mark, you don’t mince your words much, do you?”
“Why should I?” was Mark’s gibed response.
Eduardo had a routine to his life. He would be the first to admit that it was rather sad but that was how he coped. He lived like a hermit and his routine consisted of getting up showering, eating, going to class, eating, studying, sleeping, and repeat. Throw in his weekly therapy sessions and the occasional meeting for the Harvard Investment Association and that was Eduardo’s life.
Over the next few weeks he found himself deviating from his normal routine to hang out with Mark and eventually Mark’s suitemates, Chris and Dustin. Eduardo had to admit that even in high school before the events of London he was a bit of a hermit. Not socializing as much as a normal high schooler (whatever that was). He had never had close friends like Mark. Yes, their friendship was odd because Mark had a lifelong relationship with his laptop (they were soul mates) but he and Mark just clicked anyway. Eduardo was ultra polite. Mark was extremely rude. Eduardo was always five seconds away from being a nervous wreck (prevented only by a pharmacy of drugs). Mark was fearless. Eduardo had been through so much that he never felt clean. Mark was innocent. They were polar opposites of each other yet somehow still the best of friends.
Sometimes out of boredom or just wanting to hang out, Mark would seek him out at one of his lectures. They would sit in the back of the auditorium and Mark would spew out a running commentary about the professor, usually something to do with the professor’s sex life or lack thereof. Where Eduardo’s weekends used to consist of studying and waiting for the weekend to end so that he could start up his weekly routine anew, they now consisted of Halo marathons, Dungeons and Dragons (a la Dustin), and just general college stupidity.
Eduardo found himself being happy again. Mark, Dustin, and Chris made him forget about the bad things. Of course he should have known that happiness was not meant for him.
Things changed when Mark met Erica. As with all new relationships, Mark and Erica spent a lot of time together, which was to be expected. Eduardo couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Mark really wasn’t all that into Erica. She was a sweet girl but Eduardo didn’t see it lasting, so on the night of the whole Facesmash debacle Eduardo had to say that he wasn’t surprised that she had broken up with Mark. Later, Eduardo would admit, rather guiltily, that he was happy that they had ended it.
Eduardo was sure that Mark breaking up with Erica would mean that they would go back to their regular routine together. This was not the case. Mark became bitter and obsessed with showing Erica that she had made a mistake in not liking him. The irony of that was that Eduardo was sure that he was correct in his assessment that Mark didn’t really like Erica Albright but Mark was not one to take rejection lying down.
So Mark created Facebook as a giant fuck you to Erica Albright, the Harvard Ad board and everyone else who had dared to cross him. He brought Eduardo, Dustin, and Chris along for the ride. To be truthful things had kind of gotten back to normal for Eduardo and Mark. Mark was yet again married to his computer and Eduardo was yet again back to mothering Mark and serving as a buffer between him and the rest of society. Eduardo was happy with being CFO of Facebook even though he and Mark had quite a few differences when it came to the profit side of Facebook. Eduardo’s father had raised him with the belief that a business wasn’t really a business unless it was yielding a profit. Even giving their constant bickering about the business side of Facebook (including the Winklevi) things were actually great. Facebook was growing at an exponential rate and all was right with the world. That was, until Sean Parker arrived on the scene.
Part V
Harvard University
Spring 2004
To say that Eduardo had come a long way since the events of London would be an understatement. Harvard had completely changed his life for the better. He loved the academics, being surrounded by so much brainpower; he loved the prestige, and the fact that he had been tapped for the Phoenix Club was almost surreal. But the best thing that happened to Eduardo at Harvard, hands down, was the friendship that he had developed with Mark, Chris, and Dustin. It was life altering. It showed Eduardo that he could be human again and not a big seething mass of hurt all the time. The last eight months had been the best in his life. He was finally healing.
It only took a month for it to come crashing down on him. At the end of March Eduardo was given the official notification that he was formally accepted into the Phoenix Club. He, Eduardo Saverin, was in a Final Club. He was beyond ecstatic and the first person that he wanted to share this with was Mark. Mark was less then excited about the fact that Eduardo had been accepted. Eduardo kind of got the impression that Mark was actually jealous and just a little pissed at him. He really couldn’t understand why. Mark should be happy for him. Mark had everything including majority ownership in a company that was potentially worth millions if not billions. Mark had never endured any kind of hardship. Mark had parents and siblings that loved him. He had never been raped or beaten. Mark had Eduardo’s love, and friendship; that’s right, his love. The least he could do was show a little happiness that something great had happened to Eduardo.
New York, New York
April 2004
Their trip to New York, outside of the fact that Eduardo got to meet Mark’s family, had been a total waste of time. Mark was also being a total ass about getting sponsors for the website. And then they had met Sean. Eduardo thought that Sean was an asshole. He projected an air of confidence but underneath it Eduardo could tell that he was a calculating jerk who would stab you in the back without a moments notice. No, Eduardo definitely did not like him but Mark was staring at Sean like he was the latest MacBook Pro and that was pissing Eduardo off even more. They were supposed to be in New York scaring up new investors but that had been a colossal waste of time too. Maybe it was time that they got back to Harvard. Back to reality where there weren’t any fast-talking, Prada-wearing, assholes who were trying to sink their teeth into Mark.
When they got back to Harvard, things continued to deteriorate between Mark and Eduardo. Dustin and Chris started shooting worried looks at them whenever they thought he wasn’t looking. Whenever Mark and Eduardo ended up in the same room they usually got into an argument. Sean Parker started popping up more and more in Mark’s conversations with Eduardo. Mark had become increasing infatuated with Sean Parker since the moment they had met. To Mark, Sean was a rock star. He helped cofound Napster and what more could you ask for, right? When Mark announced that he was going to California for the summer a week before finals, Eduardo got the sinking feeling that he was losing Mark. Mark said that he wanted Eduardo in California but Eduardo wasn’t convinced. He elected to stay behind and go to New York. Maybe with Mark in California he might be able to make some headway in New York with new investors. It would be tough balancing his internship with scouting for money but he would do it for Mark. Maybe if he landed a big fish for Facebook, Mark would stop looking at him like he was a failure.
Palo Alto, California
Summer 2004
His heart was palpitating and he was having a hard time catching his breath; thinking coherently was out of the question. At first he felt pain because he knew this was the end of him and Mark but now all he could feel was rage.
The rage that Eduardo felt currently knew no bounds. Mark, Mark of all people had betrayed him. He should have seen it coming. The cold look that Mark gave him when he smashed that laptop in a fit of rage. Didn’t he know that he was killing Eduardo in that moment, Eduardo felt like he was being raped all over again. He loved Mark. And it was just all so confusing. Yes, he had frozen the accounts but only for a day. He just wanted Mark to know that he was pushing him away and it was hurting him. He should have known that Mark would react this way. But he didn’t. It seemed that the only thing that Mark cared about was Facebook. Well, fuck him. He could have Facebook. Eduardo only cared about Facebook because Mark cared about Facebook. The rage and the adrenaline were starting to wear off. And the despair was starting to creep in. He just couldn’t believe that Mark had done this to him. Were Dustin and Chris in on it too? Had he lost everyone? They had to have known. Of course they would side with Mark. Mark was brilliant. A freaking genius, certainly MENSA material, and Eduardo was a failure at everything he did.
After he smashed Mark’s laptop he blanked out. He vaguely remembered making that asshole Sean jump but besides that he was a little fuzzy on the details. His phone had been ringing and buzzing non stop since he left Facebook. Texts from Dustin and phone calls from Chris but he didn’t want to talk to them. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. He couldn’t believe that this was happening to him.
Harvard University
Fall 2004
His father always told him that he trusted too easily; that he had a soft heart. Eduardo always saw it for the criticism that it was. Well, now he had no heart because Mark had ripped it out. He was running on autopilot. He hadn’t talked to his therapist in weeks. He was back at Harvard enrolled in classes. He didn’t know how that had happened. Chris was there too. He had seen him last week in the quad. Chris had called out to him but he turned and walked away as fast as he could.
Eduardo didn’t want to hear anything about Facebook. He had fallen back into his normal routine of sleeping, studying, and maybe sometimes he would eat. He wouldn’t think about Mark, he wouldn’t think about Facebook, he wouldn’t think about those nights spent in Kirkland. Talking with Mark about…everything, until the wee hours of the morning. None of those things mattered. Nothing mattered accept finishing what he had started. Eduardo would have continued that way until the day he was served with a summons. Mark “Fucking” Zuckerberg was suing him.
Part VI
Harvard University
Spring 2005
This was complete bullshit. How could Mark think that he had any grounds to sue him. He was the jerk who had diluted Eduardo’s shares down to .003. It was completely preposterous. Yet there it was from the law offices of Dunn, Gibson, and Crutcher. Dunn, Gibson? Where had Mark gotten that kind of money? This asshole had taken everything from him and now to add insult to the injury he was suing him. Eduardo had no choice but to call his father.
Miami, Florida
Spring 2006
It was funny how easily the rage came back to Eduardo. He was meeting with his attorney, Gretchen, today. It was the first time that they had met in person. As he and Gretchen went over the timeline for the past two years, Eduardo found himself growing increasingly angry as time went by. At the end of their first meeting Gretchen told him that they had no choice but to countersue. In fact Gretchen was in shock that Mark had sued him in the first place. So was he for that matter.
“Eduardo, listen to me, you where wronged not the other way around. I have to say frankly that I’m surprised that you didn’t file suit against Facebook months ago.”
Eduardo just nodded his head. “I should have but I just couldn’t handle it at the time, you know.”
“Don’t worry, Eduardo, I don’t usually say things like this but we are going to win. What Mark Zuckerberg did to you was completely unethical. No one practices business that way outside of organized crime.”
Eduardo just nodded and got up to leave. He disagreed with her. Look at Brutus and Caesar. Or even more current events such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. No, people screwed other people over all time. Eduardo just thought Mark would never do that to him. Look at where that had gotten him.
The Law offices of Gibson, Dunn, & Crutcher
Palo Alto, California
July 2007
It would be three years before Eduardo Saverin saw Mark again. It was at the depositions of Narenda and the Winklevoss twins. If anything Mark hadn’t changed. Maybe he had grown colder since he had last seen him. He had heard about some of the shake-ups at Facebook. Sean Parker was out. Eduardo couldn’t help smirking over that, he had warned Mark, after all. Chris had left to join the Obama campaign. This came as no surprise to Eduardo. Chris had always had political ambitions. But there sat Mark and he looked exactly the same. Eduardo couldn’t believe it. His whole world had been turned upside down again but Mark looked exactly the same. He still acted (not really an act) like he was the smartest person in the room and no one, no one could touch him.
Eduardo sat there and watched Mark toy with the Winklevoss twins and their lawyer. Chewing them up and spitting them out. They didn’t have a leg to stand on and everyone in the room knew it, especially Mark. The only chance they had would be if this were to go to trial (which it wouldn’t). Mark was being such ass that the jury/judge would rule in their favor out of spite.
The problem that Eduardo had with the Winklevoss deposition was the fact that he had covered for Mark, when he didn’t have to. It was like second nature. The smirk that Mark shot him in response made him want to vomit. Apparently, he was still Mark’s bitch. Good to know.
His part in the depositions of the Winklevoss suit was over but Eduardo was still stuck in Palo Alto because in two weeks his and Mark’s deposition would start.
Eduardo had free time on his hands so that’s how he found himself logging in to the Facebook website. It had been the first time in over two years.
Eduardo found himself grudgingly admitting that the site looked… awesome. Still didn’t matter because he could never use this site. He wouldn’t give that asshole the satisfaction. In a fit of rebellion Eduardo deleted his account. Now if only there was a delete button for getting Mark out of his life.
It had been three weeks since the depositions had started for his suit against Mark and the whole process was taking its toll on Eduardo. Seeing Mark day in and day out hurt so much because he loved Mark so much and that fucker didn’t even care. He just set there doodling on his notepad like they were back at Harvard and this was just some boring lecture that he had to sit through.
Eduardo’s rage at Mark had worn off around week one of the depositions and now it was increasingly being directed inward.
Every day that Eduardo left the depositions to go back to his sad hotel room he would fluctuate between either wanting to curl into a ball and bawling his eyes out or trashing the room and screaming with rage. He did neither. Instead he felt himself growing increasingly numb to the point that he could feel nothing. On the third week of the depositions Chris and Dustin made an appearance. It was their turn to give testimony. They tried to talk to him but he was having no part of that. They had made their choice and it wasn’t him. Sometimes during breaks he would see them huddled together, shooting him worried little glances. They needn’t worry. Hell would freeze over before he spoke to them. The whole situation was beyond bizarre and Gretchen had told him that he didn’t have to be there every day if he didn’t want to. What the hell else was he going to do? No, if Mark could sit there day in and day out like this meant nothing then so could he. Or so he thought. Then he broke down.
“I was your only friend.”
Except that wasn’t true. It was the opposite. Mark was his only friend. His first real friend in a long time, maybe ever. He had come so close to sharing so much with Mark. Things he hadn’t even told his therapist. He had almost told him about London. About Stewart and the fact that he had still loved Stewart even after he had started hurting him. How even after Stewart yanked his arm up behind his back and slowly put pressure on it until a deafening crack was heard, he still begged him for forgiveness. Begged him for his love. How he never thought he was going to be able to be intimate with another person again.
God, he couldn’t do this anymore.
Part VII
Palo Alto, California
August 2007
There was something going on with Eduardo.
People often got the impression that Mark was some type of bitchy cyborg that was incapable of deciphering human emotion. That was fine with him. It made it that much easier for him to insult anyone at any given time to their face and get away with it. But the truth was Mark was not a cyborg. Far from it. Mark had feelings and he was pissed at Eduardo. Eduardo, whom he had begged to come to Palo Alto with him because he knew that he was losing him. Eduardo, his best friend who had ditched him and Facebook for some lame ass internship at Lehman Brothers. Eduardo, who insisted on generating some type of revenue from Facebook because “that’s the point of starting a business” even it meant putting lame ass, annoying ads on Facebook that were sure to kill the site. The same Eduardo who had frozen the accounts of Facebook because Mark had “hurt him”.
Still, there was definitely something wrong with Eduardo. It was like he was a ghost of himself. The person that he sat across from every day in these stupid ass “complete waste of time” depositions was changing right before his eyes. He had seen glimpses of this Eduardo in the past back at Harvard. Bouts of melancholy in which Eduardo would disappear for a day or two, only to return with sad haunted eyes. That sad haunted Eduardo was here all the time now. When they had first started this stupid mess Eduardo used to sit across from him literally seething with anger. But gradually over the last two weeks, that Eduardo had disappeared and was replaced by this broken Eduardo.
He wasn’t the only one who picked up on the sadness. Both Chris and Dustin had commented on Eduardo’s appearance at the depositions. He had overheard them whispering conspiratorially one day. They were having lunch together in one of the swanky lounges of Dunn, Gibson and Crutcher. Mark was “plugged in” and Chris and Dustin had their heads huddled together.
“I don’t know what’s up with him. He won’t return any of our phone calls or emails and you can’t get within five feet of him before one of those vultures sweeps in like we are going to attack him or something,” Dustin said morosely.
“I talked to him yesterday,” Chris said.
“What?”
That got Mark’s attention. He chanced a glance at Chris. Chris of course chose that exact moment to look up. Mark had a sneaking suspicion that Chris and Dustin knew he was listening.
“Yeah, I talked to him but he wouldn’t even look me in the eye. He just said that we betrayed him. He sounded really weird, you know.”
Mark did know. Eduardo had always been a very passionate individual. His voice always conveyed some type of emotion.I In the past few weeks that had changed. Whenever Eduardo spoke, his voice was flat. Almost monotone. It was disconcerting to say the least. And there was his physical appearance. He was paler than Mark had ever seen him. There were bags under his eyes. He generally appeared to be…. unwell. There was definitely something up with Eduardo and it seemed like the only people that Eduardo was talking to these days were his attorneys.
When he looked up a second time he caught Dustin’s eyes. Dustin was staring at him like he was saying “do something, asshole” with his eyes.
Everyone thought Mark was an asshole.
Even Mark’s own attorneys thought that he was an asshole regardless of what Marilyn said. She was a lawyer, they were paid to say that shit. There was only one other person, outside of Mark’s mother, who had never thought he was an asshole. That was until he fucked him over. That was the truth of the matter. Yes, Eduardo and he weren’t on the same page as far as Facebook was concerned. He’d pushed him away but they were already drifting apart long before that. Still he felt guilty that he had caused so much pain. For both of them. Granted Eduardo was no innocent in this matter but there was a possibility that he had over-reacted and let some of the newest members of Facebook talk him into screwing Eduardo out of the company completely. But if Eduardo had just done what he had said he was going to do, he wouldn’t have put Mark into the position of being the biggest jerk ever.
That was beside the point though. Eduardo was hurting and Mark did not like seeing him hurt. He just didn’t know what to do about it.
Later that day
It was the end of the day and Sy had pulled him aside.
“We need to settle, Mark, and you’re going to have to give up a huge chunk of shares.”
“How much?”
“I want to offer them 5% of the company initially but we may have to give up as much as 7%.”
“Do it”.
“Okay. I’ll have something drawn up tonight. We should have something for you first thing tomorrow morning.”
Mark acknowledged Sy with a nod of his head.
Suddenly Mark was hit with a feeling that he should go talk to Eduardo. Outside of some of the barbs they had exchanged over the course of the depositions, he had made no effort to talk to Eduardo since the night that Facebook hit one million users. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t want to talk to him; it was just logical not to talk to him. He knew that it would lead to an emotional scene and even though his words and actions would speak otherwise, Mark did not like confrontation.
Mark realized that if he let this settlement go down without talking to Eduardo and possibly “clearing the air”, to use a trite saying, there was a huge possibility that he and Eduardo would never speak again. Suddenly the thought of that happening was unacceptable.
He quickly gathered up his things. He was going to track Eduardo down, tonight.
Of course Eduardo’s attorneys proved useless. That was okay, he had his ways. After al,l when it came down to it, Mark was a hacker first and foremost. He would find Eduardo.
By J. Coltrane
Prologue
Four Seasons Silicon Valley Hotel, Room 4035
Palo Alto, California
August 2007
It was raining. Eduardo hated the rain. The rain always brought back memories of events that he would rather forget. In the two months that he spent in London it rained practically every day that he was there. He was never lucky enough to see out the windows of the cheap flat that he was held captive in but the apartment had a tin roof that allowed him to spend hours listening to the rain that pounded relentlessly down on it. He rubbed his wrists together as a phantom ache shot through them. Although, he was currently reclining on the bed in the suite of a pricey hotel, his home for the duration of the depositions, he could still hear the pitter-patter of the rain hitting that roof.
The truth of the matter was that this whole situation was eerily similar to London. Yet again he found himself being fucked over by someone he had trusted. Yet another reason for his father to be disappointed in him and think that he was a worthless idiot.
God, how could he have trusted Mark so easily?
For the last few months he had been fueled by rage. Rage at the fact that Mark would throw their friendship in his face like that and go through such great lengths to fuck him over. He had to admit that part if not most of the rage was directed at himself. After all, he was still protecting the asshole. He had flat-out lied in his testimony during the Narendra and Winklevoss depositions, just to cover for Mark. Mark would probably chalk it up to him trying to protect his potential assets in Facebook. That wasn’t it at all. He still cared for the fucker even after Mark had stabbed him in the back. Not that Mark cared. The indifference that Mark showed day in and day out was killing Eduardo. It was like Eduardo had never mattered to him. Mark had meant everything to Eduardo. He was his best friend and maybe something more although Eduardo was not willing to face that yet. Mark was someone he had felt comfortable with no matter what. He never put up any front about his feelings. He could always count on Mark to tell him the truth. Sure, Mark could be a bit of an asshole sometimes but that was okay with Eduardo because he didn’t have to worry about hidden motives with Mark. Eduardo was not naïve. He knew that Mark was a master manipulator but he would never manipulate Eduardo. At least that was what Eduardo had thought at the time. He had been so wrong.
It had taken a long time for Eduardo to get to a point where he could trust someone again. Eduardo’s friendship not only with Mark, but with Dustin and Chris also, had helped him pull himself back from the brink so many times. But now with the rain falling outside, a lawsuit that seemed to have no end in sight, and Eduardo facing the fact that he was going to go back to his lonely, pointless life of trying to please his father, the rage that had been powering him forward was gone and in its wake he was left with a growing feeling of despondency that was eating him alive. He felt like he had lost everything. The old ghosts were resurfacing and starting to nip at his mind again, their voices sounding an awful lot like his father and. ……someone else. Telling him how worthless he was, how he could never do anything right, he was an embarrassment to the family, he was weak, he was a worthless whore who was only good for one thing. Well, fuck that.
It seemed like no one wanted him here and he was tired of the pain and the misery that he had to go through day and day out. He would never be happy again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been happy. Maybe when he made the final cut into the Phoenix club but even that was bittersweet because it was the beginning of the end of his friendship with Mark. Really, that pretty much summed up his whole life. Anytime something good happened to him it was only a matter of time before it blew up in his face. Well, he wasn’t going to go through that again.
He looked at the slew of medications that where lined up on the night stand: Zoloft, Ambien, and Klonopin. For as long as he could remember he had been in pain. In that moment he had an epiphany that the only way that the pain was going to end was if he ended it. It was a clichéd thought but he was beyond caring. This was going to end tonight.
Part II
London, England
Mid June 2000
Eduardo had never been so happy in his life. He had graduated high school Summa Cum Laude, he was going to be enrolled as a freshman at Harvard University in less than two months, and there was an ocean between him and his father, thanks to his father’s generous graduation present of a month in Europe. Of course Eduardo was no fool -- he knew the true motives behind his father’s gift.. Whatever, life couldn’t get any better then this, or so he thought. He had been in London for two days when he met Stewart.
Stewart was sweet, sexy, and charming and was built like an Adonis. He was also confusing the hell out of Eduardo. Stewart had been flirting with him nonstop ever since they had bumped into each other in the lobby of the hotel Eduardo was staying at. It turned out that Stewart was in London on holiday. He was taking a break before returning to classes at Oxford. They hit it off right away and had been hanging out ever since. Now it was a week later and Eduardo found himself totally infatuated with Stewart and he got the distinct impression that the feelings were mutual.
Sometimes Eduardo would catch himself thinking that Stewart was too good to be true. He was extremely intelligent and loved to talk about everything from the state of the European Union to the ridiculous celebrity gossip that was in the infamous London tabloids. Sometimes they would just talk for hours upon hours. Eduardo would ramble on about weather patterns and how secretly he wanted to be a meteorologist but his father would never go for that. Stewart would listen and give his adamant support, at the same time calling Eduardo’s father a wanker. The only fault that Eduardo could find in Stewart was that he was a little bit possessive which Eduardo had witnessed the other day when Stewart bristled at some guy in a London pub that he and Stewart had ventured to. Eduardo had to literally pull Stewart out of the place before he started a brawl. Eduardo would never admit it to Stewart but seeing him go all caveman on that guy just because he hit on Eduardo really turned him on.
Eduardo had to face facts. He was falling hard for Stewart and he hated the fact that he was going to be leaving soon. Maybe they could have a long distance relationship. They could make it work at least until one or both of them were out of college. Maybe Stewart would be willing to relocate after he graduated from Oxford.
Eduardo was in over his head. He had already extended his stay in London by two days but he was supposed to meet up with his Uncle Hernando and Aunt Felicia in Portugal two days from now. He was going to have to break the news to Stewart.
He and Stewart had been making out for the last hour and had just stopped because you could only make out for so long before things progressed to the next level, and Eduardo was nowhere near ready for that. Amazingly, Stewart was very understanding about the whole situation and that made Eduardo fall even harder for him. As they lay in the bed pressed together, content, Eduardo thought to himself that he never wanted this to end. Stewart was playing with Eduardo’s hair, twirling the strands around his fingers. Eduardo had been putting off telling him about his plans all evening and decided it was now or never.
“I’m going to have to catch a flight to Portugal the day after tomorrow. I have to meet my aunt and uncle there.”
Eduardo could feel Stewart’‘s hand freeze immediately. Eduardo found himself tensing up. He had been dreading this conversation because it meant that what they had shared for the last week would be coming to an end. If Stewart felt the same way he did then maybe just maybe they could work this out somehow.
After a brief pause, Stewart asked, “Okay, so when will you be coming back to London?“
“Well, here’s the thing... I was supposed to meet them, and then I was going to leave from there to go to Madrid. Then I would work my way back up through France before coming back here to fly out of Heathrow.”
Stewart abruptly moved to sit up on the edge of the bed, placing distance between him and Eduardo.
“Stewart,” Eduardo stammered. “I can change my plans around and just meet up with my relatives for a day or two and come back here for the remainder of my stay in Europe.”
“But then you would leave,” Stewart said, staring at the floor.
Eduardo nodded carefully and looked at Stewart, confused. “Yeah, I have to get back in six weeks. I’m starting my freshman year at Harvard.”
“What don’t you stay here? You could enroll at Oxford in the fall,” Stewart suggested, turning to face him. “I have a flat in Oxford. You could stay with me.” The hopeful look that Stewart was giving him was doing funny things to Eduardo’s chest. Oh, how he wished he could say yes. But, there was no way he could.
“Well, for starters, I haven’t applied to Oxford, and secondly, my father would never go for that. He has stated in no uncertain terms that it’s Harvard or nowhere.” This was not how Eduardo had seen this conversation unfolding. He didn’t know what to do but he knew that staying here with Stewart would not be an option. His father would kill him but he didn’t want to leave Stewart either.
“You are going to leave here and forget about me, aren’t you? I was just some plaything to pass your time with while you were here,” Stewart accused as he got off the bed and started to pace angrily around the small hotel suite.
“It’s not like that at all, Stewart. You’re the first person that’s ever made me feel this way,” Eduardo pleaded. He really liked Stewart and he didn’t like seeing him upset like this. He stood up and approached him, trying to comfort him. Eduardo was convinced that he was falling in love with Stewart; he just wasn’t ready to tell him that. After all they had only been together for a week.
“You spoiled little rich arsehole. You Yanks are all alike. It’s all about you. You don’t care who you hurt in the long run.”
“What?” Eduardo cried, aborting his attempt at comforting Stewart. The only time that Eduardo had ever heard Stewart raise his voice was at that stupid pub. But now he was yelling at Eduardo. It hurt him to hear Stewart say those things to him.
“You heard me, you wanker,” Stewart hissed, and then he shoved Eduardo so hard that he almost lost his footing. He recovered quickly and looked at Stewart, stricken. A little shiver of fear coursed its way up his spine. He had only known Stewart for a week. Yes, he had fallen for him but maybe Stewart wasn’t all he presented himself to be. There was one thing that Eduardo did know. Stewart had crossed a line by pushing him and maybe they need a little break from each other so that he could sort this out.
“Stewart, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I think you should leave,” Eduardo said, turning his back on Stewart. He was shaking with adrenaline and frankly couldn’t understand what had just happened. Stewart didn’t move a muscle, and Eduardo turned to face him again. “I’m not going to tell you again. I’m going to the restroom, and when I return I would appreciate it if you were gone.” With that, Eduardo turned to walk into the restroom. The next thing he saw was darkness.
He came to a few hours later, only to find that that he was lying face first on a bed, his hands were bound behind his back, and his head felt like it was about to explode from a throbbing pain located somewhere in the back of his skull. To say that he was panicking would be an understatement. Eduardo had to be the most unluckiest fucker out there. If this asshole didn’t kill him, his father sure would. For the second time in his life, Eduardo had been kidnapped.
The next few weeks of Eduardo’s life were filled with about as much pain as any human could imagine. He lost his virginity in the most brutal way possible at the hands of a delusional, psychotic rapist. He was constantly kept bound and gagged. And when the bounds were released and the gag was removed from his mouth he found himself missing them. When he was bound it was horrible because he was completely helpless with only the sound of the rain pounding on the roof to comfort him but when Stewart released him it always meant more pain. Every wakening hour was filled with the terror of what other torture he was going to be subjected to. Eduardo didn’t know how much more of this he could take. Stewart was convinced that they were in a loving relationship and the more Eduardo pleaded with him to let him go the more violent Stewart became. Sometimes Stewart would beat him into unconsciousness. So Eduardo learned to play along with the fantasy that Stewart had playing out in his head but that didn’t always work.
Like today. Stewart had returned to the flat with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine. He was in a chipper mood. Eduardo had learned to grow wary of Stewart when he seemed happy; that just meant that when he snapped he would be more vicious than usual. Apparently it was their two-month anniversary and Stewart wanted to celebrate. Stewart released Eduardo from his bonds and pulled him into a hug.
“Come on, darling, let’s make love,” Stewart whispered seductively into his ear.
Eduardo had to fight hard to keep himself from sobbing, as he forced himself to return Stewart’s embrace. He wanted to die. In fact he knew that he was going to die in this shitty, filthy flat, and no one would be the wiser as to what happened to him. People disappeared all the time.
Part III
Miami, Florida
Two months after the abduction
It had cost Roberto Saverin a small fortune to track Eduardo down. He would have paid ten times that without blanking an eye. Eduardo was his only child and he’d almost lost him once and the guilt of those events had soured his relationship with his son. Although he and Eduardo had trouble communicating that didn’t mean that Roberto didn’t love his son. If it had been up to him the cabrão who had hurt his son would never see the light of day again. The information that he had received said that Eduardo was in pretty bad shape. Roberto was at a loss as to what he should do. Sandra was furious with him for letting Eduardo go to Europe by himself. Hindsight is always twenty/twenty. Roberto had failed his son again.
London, England
Eduardo felt so dirty. He had showered ten times today alone. His mother was here with him but he couldn’t meet her eyes much less carry on a conversation with her. He was so ashamed of what he had let that asshole do to him. It was all his fault. He had led Stewart on. He was the one who had gotten in way over his head. How had he let his father down like that after he had trusted him to go to Europe alone?
A week from now, he and his mother would return to the States. Eduardo didn’t know when he would be able to go to Harvard, if ever. Right now he had bigger problems. He couldn’t let anyone within 10 feet of himself without freaking out. He didn’t know how he was going to be able to withstand the flight home, much less going off to college. He was a freak. He was damaged goods. He would never be normal again.
Miami International Airport
10 weeks after the abduction
As Eduardo stepped of the plane, Roberto Saverin had to fight hard to keep from gasping when he saw his son. His beautiful filho. For all their differences, Roberto truly loved his son and he wanted only the best for him. That’s why they had moved to America, so that Eduardo could be safe. It was all for nothing now.
He looked at Eduardo and saw that the smart and confident boy who had left for Europe two months ago was nowhere to be found. He looked at the bruises covering his son’s face, the limp that Eduardo was desperately trying to hide, the arm in the sling, and the way Eduardo was trying to shrink away from anyone who dared to come in contact with him, and realized that his son had all but been destroyed. There was one thing that he did know and that was that he would do everything in his power to make sure that his son got the best care possible to repair what that monster had done to him.
Eight month’s after the abduction
Eduardo had learned a lot about Stewart Rollins since his return from London. It turned out that Stewart was not in London on holiday. Nor did he attend classes at Oxford. He worked at the hotel that Eduardo was staying at and he had a brutally violent history. He had left Wales fleeing the suspicious death of his long time lover, who had repeatedly filed domestic abuse charges against him prior to his death. Stewart had been extradited back to Wales where he was going to face murder charges. Eduardo had been assured that Stewart would most likely be convicted, but if not, he would be transferred back to England where he would face numerous charges on Eduardo’s behalf. Having all of this knowledge about Stewart didn’t help Eduardo in the least.
It had been eight months since Stewart Rollins turned Eduardo’s life upside down and Eduardo really didn’t see things getting better anytime soon. His psychiatrist said that he was making progress by leaps and bounds but Eduardo was not convinced. Sure, he had progressed from having therapy everyday to just three times a week but he still couldn’t stand to be in close proximity to anyone, including his mother. He had given his father a black eye the first time he had attempted to touch him. So now his father thought that he was even more of a failure, if that was possible.
He and his therapist had talked about him continuing with his life. Calls had been made and the admissions department at Harvard had said that his position there would be held open for the foreseeable future. But Harvard was the last thing on his mind right now. Yes, it was important to him, and no, he didn’t want Stewart to take that away from him but right now he just wanted to get that asshole out of his head.
Sometimes Eduardo would find himself believing in the fantasy that he and Stewart were lovers. Just because Stewart lost his temper from time to time didn’t mean that he didn’t love Eduardo. Sometimes Stewart had made it easy for him by being the tender, gentle person that Eduardo had first fallen for. Now he was punishing himself for having those thoughts. How could he have been so stupid? Stewart was right. He was only good for spreading his legs.
14 months after the abduction
Things where starting to get a little easier for Eduardo. He wasn’t waking up in cold sweats with a scream on his lips every night. Sometimes he could go for days without having a nightmare but then it would all come crashing down on him in a moment’s notice and he would be a wreck for days, closing himself off from the rest of the world. Some days he still felt like giving up because things would never be right again but those days were actually starting to be outnumbered by the good days. On those days he felt like he could make it and that was something to hold on to.
22 months after the abduction
Eduardo almost felt like a new person. He had made great strides in his recovery and he could actually interact with people on a day-to-day basis without being on the verge of a panic attack. His mother could even hug him.
He had decided to continue with his plans to attend Harvard. After all it wasn’t just his father’s dream but his dream also. He would succeed. Eduardo always felt better when his mind was engaged and of course he was an over-achiever so Harvard would be the perfect distraction from the hell his life had become. For the first time in his life Eduardo felt like he had a future waiting for him. He knew things would not be perfect but maybe, just maybe, he could leave Stewart behind and continue on with his life.
Part IV
Harvard University
Fall 2003
Eduardo for the most part had kept to himself his freshman year at Harvard. He could count on one hand the number of people that he associated with on a regular basis. Mostly his life consisted of going to class, studying, eating, and sleeping. The only reason that he had joined the AEPi and the Harvard Investment Association was because his therapist, whom he still spoke to once a week, had encouraged him to seek more social interaction. So it was by complete chance that Eduardo stumbled upon Mark that night.
The first time Eduardo met Mark he was insulting some senior’s intelligence at an AEPi meeting. Apparently Mark thought that this guy was an idiot and that his 13 year-old sister knew more about computer programming. Which kinda figured because Mark tended to insult people… a lot. But that was Mark for you. He had an air of intelligence that surrounded him and he seemed like he wouldn’t take shit from anyone. Eduardo liked him a lot. It was nice to have someone around that didn’t hide his words in subterfuge. Eduardo had gotten really good at spotting fake people over the past few years.
He found himself timidly approaching Mark after the upperclassman that Mark had insulted walked off in a huff.
“Hi, my names Eduardo Saverin” he said awkwardly, holding his hand out in greeting. Mark looked at him, as if sizing him up. Apparently he passed the assessment because Mark shook his hand.
“Mark Zuckerberg.”
No nice to meet you or any other pleasantries, just his name. Direct and to the point.
“So, Mark, you don’t mince your words much, do you?”
“Why should I?” was Mark’s gibed response.
Eduardo had a routine to his life. He would be the first to admit that it was rather sad but that was how he coped. He lived like a hermit and his routine consisted of getting up showering, eating, going to class, eating, studying, sleeping, and repeat. Throw in his weekly therapy sessions and the occasional meeting for the Harvard Investment Association and that was Eduardo’s life.
Over the next few weeks he found himself deviating from his normal routine to hang out with Mark and eventually Mark’s suitemates, Chris and Dustin. Eduardo had to admit that even in high school before the events of London he was a bit of a hermit. Not socializing as much as a normal high schooler (whatever that was). He had never had close friends like Mark. Yes, their friendship was odd because Mark had a lifelong relationship with his laptop (they were soul mates) but he and Mark just clicked anyway. Eduardo was ultra polite. Mark was extremely rude. Eduardo was always five seconds away from being a nervous wreck (prevented only by a pharmacy of drugs). Mark was fearless. Eduardo had been through so much that he never felt clean. Mark was innocent. They were polar opposites of each other yet somehow still the best of friends.
Sometimes out of boredom or just wanting to hang out, Mark would seek him out at one of his lectures. They would sit in the back of the auditorium and Mark would spew out a running commentary about the professor, usually something to do with the professor’s sex life or lack thereof. Where Eduardo’s weekends used to consist of studying and waiting for the weekend to end so that he could start up his weekly routine anew, they now consisted of Halo marathons, Dungeons and Dragons (a la Dustin), and just general college stupidity.
Eduardo found himself being happy again. Mark, Dustin, and Chris made him forget about the bad things. Of course he should have known that happiness was not meant for him.
Things changed when Mark met Erica. As with all new relationships, Mark and Erica spent a lot of time together, which was to be expected. Eduardo couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Mark really wasn’t all that into Erica. She was a sweet girl but Eduardo didn’t see it lasting, so on the night of the whole Facesmash debacle Eduardo had to say that he wasn’t surprised that she had broken up with Mark. Later, Eduardo would admit, rather guiltily, that he was happy that they had ended it.
Eduardo was sure that Mark breaking up with Erica would mean that they would go back to their regular routine together. This was not the case. Mark became bitter and obsessed with showing Erica that she had made a mistake in not liking him. The irony of that was that Eduardo was sure that he was correct in his assessment that Mark didn’t really like Erica Albright but Mark was not one to take rejection lying down.
So Mark created Facebook as a giant fuck you to Erica Albright, the Harvard Ad board and everyone else who had dared to cross him. He brought Eduardo, Dustin, and Chris along for the ride. To be truthful things had kind of gotten back to normal for Eduardo and Mark. Mark was yet again married to his computer and Eduardo was yet again back to mothering Mark and serving as a buffer between him and the rest of society. Eduardo was happy with being CFO of Facebook even though he and Mark had quite a few differences when it came to the profit side of Facebook. Eduardo’s father had raised him with the belief that a business wasn’t really a business unless it was yielding a profit. Even giving their constant bickering about the business side of Facebook (including the Winklevi) things were actually great. Facebook was growing at an exponential rate and all was right with the world. That was, until Sean Parker arrived on the scene.
Part V
Harvard University
Spring 2004
To say that Eduardo had come a long way since the events of London would be an understatement. Harvard had completely changed his life for the better. He loved the academics, being surrounded by so much brainpower; he loved the prestige, and the fact that he had been tapped for the Phoenix Club was almost surreal. But the best thing that happened to Eduardo at Harvard, hands down, was the friendship that he had developed with Mark, Chris, and Dustin. It was life altering. It showed Eduardo that he could be human again and not a big seething mass of hurt all the time. The last eight months had been the best in his life. He was finally healing.
It only took a month for it to come crashing down on him. At the end of March Eduardo was given the official notification that he was formally accepted into the Phoenix Club. He, Eduardo Saverin, was in a Final Club. He was beyond ecstatic and the first person that he wanted to share this with was Mark. Mark was less then excited about the fact that Eduardo had been accepted. Eduardo kind of got the impression that Mark was actually jealous and just a little pissed at him. He really couldn’t understand why. Mark should be happy for him. Mark had everything including majority ownership in a company that was potentially worth millions if not billions. Mark had never endured any kind of hardship. Mark had parents and siblings that loved him. He had never been raped or beaten. Mark had Eduardo’s love, and friendship; that’s right, his love. The least he could do was show a little happiness that something great had happened to Eduardo.
New York, New York
April 2004
Their trip to New York, outside of the fact that Eduardo got to meet Mark’s family, had been a total waste of time. Mark was also being a total ass about getting sponsors for the website. And then they had met Sean. Eduardo thought that Sean was an asshole. He projected an air of confidence but underneath it Eduardo could tell that he was a calculating jerk who would stab you in the back without a moments notice. No, Eduardo definitely did not like him but Mark was staring at Sean like he was the latest MacBook Pro and that was pissing Eduardo off even more. They were supposed to be in New York scaring up new investors but that had been a colossal waste of time too. Maybe it was time that they got back to Harvard. Back to reality where there weren’t any fast-talking, Prada-wearing, assholes who were trying to sink their teeth into Mark.
When they got back to Harvard, things continued to deteriorate between Mark and Eduardo. Dustin and Chris started shooting worried looks at them whenever they thought he wasn’t looking. Whenever Mark and Eduardo ended up in the same room they usually got into an argument. Sean Parker started popping up more and more in Mark’s conversations with Eduardo. Mark had become increasing infatuated with Sean Parker since the moment they had met. To Mark, Sean was a rock star. He helped cofound Napster and what more could you ask for, right? When Mark announced that he was going to California for the summer a week before finals, Eduardo got the sinking feeling that he was losing Mark. Mark said that he wanted Eduardo in California but Eduardo wasn’t convinced. He elected to stay behind and go to New York. Maybe with Mark in California he might be able to make some headway in New York with new investors. It would be tough balancing his internship with scouting for money but he would do it for Mark. Maybe if he landed a big fish for Facebook, Mark would stop looking at him like he was a failure.
Palo Alto, California
Summer 2004
His heart was palpitating and he was having a hard time catching his breath; thinking coherently was out of the question. At first he felt pain because he knew this was the end of him and Mark but now all he could feel was rage.
The rage that Eduardo felt currently knew no bounds. Mark, Mark of all people had betrayed him. He should have seen it coming. The cold look that Mark gave him when he smashed that laptop in a fit of rage. Didn’t he know that he was killing Eduardo in that moment, Eduardo felt like he was being raped all over again. He loved Mark. And it was just all so confusing. Yes, he had frozen the accounts but only for a day. He just wanted Mark to know that he was pushing him away and it was hurting him. He should have known that Mark would react this way. But he didn’t. It seemed that the only thing that Mark cared about was Facebook. Well, fuck him. He could have Facebook. Eduardo only cared about Facebook because Mark cared about Facebook. The rage and the adrenaline were starting to wear off. And the despair was starting to creep in. He just couldn’t believe that Mark had done this to him. Were Dustin and Chris in on it too? Had he lost everyone? They had to have known. Of course they would side with Mark. Mark was brilliant. A freaking genius, certainly MENSA material, and Eduardo was a failure at everything he did.
After he smashed Mark’s laptop he blanked out. He vaguely remembered making that asshole Sean jump but besides that he was a little fuzzy on the details. His phone had been ringing and buzzing non stop since he left Facebook. Texts from Dustin and phone calls from Chris but he didn’t want to talk to them. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. He couldn’t believe that this was happening to him.
Harvard University
Fall 2004
His father always told him that he trusted too easily; that he had a soft heart. Eduardo always saw it for the criticism that it was. Well, now he had no heart because Mark had ripped it out. He was running on autopilot. He hadn’t talked to his therapist in weeks. He was back at Harvard enrolled in classes. He didn’t know how that had happened. Chris was there too. He had seen him last week in the quad. Chris had called out to him but he turned and walked away as fast as he could.
Eduardo didn’t want to hear anything about Facebook. He had fallen back into his normal routine of sleeping, studying, and maybe sometimes he would eat. He wouldn’t think about Mark, he wouldn’t think about Facebook, he wouldn’t think about those nights spent in Kirkland. Talking with Mark about…everything, until the wee hours of the morning. None of those things mattered. Nothing mattered accept finishing what he had started. Eduardo would have continued that way until the day he was served with a summons. Mark “Fucking” Zuckerberg was suing him.
Part VI
Harvard University
Spring 2005
This was complete bullshit. How could Mark think that he had any grounds to sue him. He was the jerk who had diluted Eduardo’s shares down to .003. It was completely preposterous. Yet there it was from the law offices of Dunn, Gibson, and Crutcher. Dunn, Gibson? Where had Mark gotten that kind of money? This asshole had taken everything from him and now to add insult to the injury he was suing him. Eduardo had no choice but to call his father.
Miami, Florida
Spring 2006
It was funny how easily the rage came back to Eduardo. He was meeting with his attorney, Gretchen, today. It was the first time that they had met in person. As he and Gretchen went over the timeline for the past two years, Eduardo found himself growing increasingly angry as time went by. At the end of their first meeting Gretchen told him that they had no choice but to countersue. In fact Gretchen was in shock that Mark had sued him in the first place. So was he for that matter.
“Eduardo, listen to me, you where wronged not the other way around. I have to say frankly that I’m surprised that you didn’t file suit against Facebook months ago.”
Eduardo just nodded his head. “I should have but I just couldn’t handle it at the time, you know.”
“Don’t worry, Eduardo, I don’t usually say things like this but we are going to win. What Mark Zuckerberg did to you was completely unethical. No one practices business that way outside of organized crime.”
Eduardo just nodded and got up to leave. He disagreed with her. Look at Brutus and Caesar. Or even more current events such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. No, people screwed other people over all time. Eduardo just thought Mark would never do that to him. Look at where that had gotten him.
The Law offices of Gibson, Dunn, & Crutcher
Palo Alto, California
July 2007
It would be three years before Eduardo Saverin saw Mark again. It was at the depositions of Narenda and the Winklevoss twins. If anything Mark hadn’t changed. Maybe he had grown colder since he had last seen him. He had heard about some of the shake-ups at Facebook. Sean Parker was out. Eduardo couldn’t help smirking over that, he had warned Mark, after all. Chris had left to join the Obama campaign. This came as no surprise to Eduardo. Chris had always had political ambitions. But there sat Mark and he looked exactly the same. Eduardo couldn’t believe it. His whole world had been turned upside down again but Mark looked exactly the same. He still acted (not really an act) like he was the smartest person in the room and no one, no one could touch him.
Eduardo sat there and watched Mark toy with the Winklevoss twins and their lawyer. Chewing them up and spitting them out. They didn’t have a leg to stand on and everyone in the room knew it, especially Mark. The only chance they had would be if this were to go to trial (which it wouldn’t). Mark was being such ass that the jury/judge would rule in their favor out of spite.
The problem that Eduardo had with the Winklevoss deposition was the fact that he had covered for Mark, when he didn’t have to. It was like second nature. The smirk that Mark shot him in response made him want to vomit. Apparently, he was still Mark’s bitch. Good to know.
His part in the depositions of the Winklevoss suit was over but Eduardo was still stuck in Palo Alto because in two weeks his and Mark’s deposition would start.
Eduardo had free time on his hands so that’s how he found himself logging in to the Facebook website. It had been the first time in over two years.
Eduardo found himself grudgingly admitting that the site looked… awesome. Still didn’t matter because he could never use this site. He wouldn’t give that asshole the satisfaction. In a fit of rebellion Eduardo deleted his account. Now if only there was a delete button for getting Mark out of his life.
It had been three weeks since the depositions had started for his suit against Mark and the whole process was taking its toll on Eduardo. Seeing Mark day in and day out hurt so much because he loved Mark so much and that fucker didn’t even care. He just set there doodling on his notepad like they were back at Harvard and this was just some boring lecture that he had to sit through.
Eduardo’s rage at Mark had worn off around week one of the depositions and now it was increasingly being directed inward.
Every day that Eduardo left the depositions to go back to his sad hotel room he would fluctuate between either wanting to curl into a ball and bawling his eyes out or trashing the room and screaming with rage. He did neither. Instead he felt himself growing increasingly numb to the point that he could feel nothing. On the third week of the depositions Chris and Dustin made an appearance. It was their turn to give testimony. They tried to talk to him but he was having no part of that. They had made their choice and it wasn’t him. Sometimes during breaks he would see them huddled together, shooting him worried little glances. They needn’t worry. Hell would freeze over before he spoke to them. The whole situation was beyond bizarre and Gretchen had told him that he didn’t have to be there every day if he didn’t want to. What the hell else was he going to do? No, if Mark could sit there day in and day out like this meant nothing then so could he. Or so he thought. Then he broke down.
“I was your only friend.”
Except that wasn’t true. It was the opposite. Mark was his only friend. His first real friend in a long time, maybe ever. He had come so close to sharing so much with Mark. Things he hadn’t even told his therapist. He had almost told him about London. About Stewart and the fact that he had still loved Stewart even after he had started hurting him. How even after Stewart yanked his arm up behind his back and slowly put pressure on it until a deafening crack was heard, he still begged him for forgiveness. Begged him for his love. How he never thought he was going to be able to be intimate with another person again.
God, he couldn’t do this anymore.
Part VII
Palo Alto, California
August 2007
There was something going on with Eduardo.
People often got the impression that Mark was some type of bitchy cyborg that was incapable of deciphering human emotion. That was fine with him. It made it that much easier for him to insult anyone at any given time to their face and get away with it. But the truth was Mark was not a cyborg. Far from it. Mark had feelings and he was pissed at Eduardo. Eduardo, whom he had begged to come to Palo Alto with him because he knew that he was losing him. Eduardo, his best friend who had ditched him and Facebook for some lame ass internship at Lehman Brothers. Eduardo, who insisted on generating some type of revenue from Facebook because “that’s the point of starting a business” even it meant putting lame ass, annoying ads on Facebook that were sure to kill the site. The same Eduardo who had frozen the accounts of Facebook because Mark had “hurt him”.
Still, there was definitely something wrong with Eduardo. It was like he was a ghost of himself. The person that he sat across from every day in these stupid ass “complete waste of time” depositions was changing right before his eyes. He had seen glimpses of this Eduardo in the past back at Harvard. Bouts of melancholy in which Eduardo would disappear for a day or two, only to return with sad haunted eyes. That sad haunted Eduardo was here all the time now. When they had first started this stupid mess Eduardo used to sit across from him literally seething with anger. But gradually over the last two weeks, that Eduardo had disappeared and was replaced by this broken Eduardo.
He wasn’t the only one who picked up on the sadness. Both Chris and Dustin had commented on Eduardo’s appearance at the depositions. He had overheard them whispering conspiratorially one day. They were having lunch together in one of the swanky lounges of Dunn, Gibson and Crutcher. Mark was “plugged in” and Chris and Dustin had their heads huddled together.
“I don’t know what’s up with him. He won’t return any of our phone calls or emails and you can’t get within five feet of him before one of those vultures sweeps in like we are going to attack him or something,” Dustin said morosely.
“I talked to him yesterday,” Chris said.
“What?”
That got Mark’s attention. He chanced a glance at Chris. Chris of course chose that exact moment to look up. Mark had a sneaking suspicion that Chris and Dustin knew he was listening.
“Yeah, I talked to him but he wouldn’t even look me in the eye. He just said that we betrayed him. He sounded really weird, you know.”
Mark did know. Eduardo had always been a very passionate individual. His voice always conveyed some type of emotion.I In the past few weeks that had changed. Whenever Eduardo spoke, his voice was flat. Almost monotone. It was disconcerting to say the least. And there was his physical appearance. He was paler than Mark had ever seen him. There were bags under his eyes. He generally appeared to be…. unwell. There was definitely something up with Eduardo and it seemed like the only people that Eduardo was talking to these days were his attorneys.
When he looked up a second time he caught Dustin’s eyes. Dustin was staring at him like he was saying “do something, asshole” with his eyes.
Everyone thought Mark was an asshole.
Even Mark’s own attorneys thought that he was an asshole regardless of what Marilyn said. She was a lawyer, they were paid to say that shit. There was only one other person, outside of Mark’s mother, who had never thought he was an asshole. That was until he fucked him over. That was the truth of the matter. Yes, Eduardo and he weren’t on the same page as far as Facebook was concerned. He’d pushed him away but they were already drifting apart long before that. Still he felt guilty that he had caused so much pain. For both of them. Granted Eduardo was no innocent in this matter but there was a possibility that he had over-reacted and let some of the newest members of Facebook talk him into screwing Eduardo out of the company completely. But if Eduardo had just done what he had said he was going to do, he wouldn’t have put Mark into the position of being the biggest jerk ever.
That was beside the point though. Eduardo was hurting and Mark did not like seeing him hurt. He just didn’t know what to do about it.
Later that day
It was the end of the day and Sy had pulled him aside.
“We need to settle, Mark, and you’re going to have to give up a huge chunk of shares.”
“How much?”
“I want to offer them 5% of the company initially but we may have to give up as much as 7%.”
“Do it”.
“Okay. I’ll have something drawn up tonight. We should have something for you first thing tomorrow morning.”
Mark acknowledged Sy with a nod of his head.
Suddenly Mark was hit with a feeling that he should go talk to Eduardo. Outside of some of the barbs they had exchanged over the course of the depositions, he had made no effort to talk to Eduardo since the night that Facebook hit one million users. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t want to talk to him; it was just logical not to talk to him. He knew that it would lead to an emotional scene and even though his words and actions would speak otherwise, Mark did not like confrontation.
Mark realized that if he let this settlement go down without talking to Eduardo and possibly “clearing the air”, to use a trite saying, there was a huge possibility that he and Eduardo would never speak again. Suddenly the thought of that happening was unacceptable.
He quickly gathered up his things. He was going to track Eduardo down, tonight.
Of course Eduardo’s attorneys proved useless. That was okay, he had his ways. After al,l when it came down to it, Mark was a hacker first and foremost. He would find Eduardo.