Comments | jbmcdragon: Sexual assault (warning for triggers)

jbmcdragon

Sexual assault (warning for triggers)

Oct 03, 2012 14:14

With apologies to my friends who don't like long things, and the friends who have been assaulted and can't read things even remotely about it. I'm not putting this behind a cut. It's too easy to bypass; at the very least, the number of episodes should be noted ( Read more... )

sexism, -isms, rape

Comments 12

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jbmcdragon October 3 2012, 23:25:15 UTC

*wry smile* You know, to tell on myself, I almost didn't put this in there because I didn't want you to feel bad. Then I realized that'd be doing exactly what I was saying not to do...

You wanted to believe the best of your uncle, and I didn't want to cause an argument. Even wanting to believe the best in your uncle, you stuck close to me after that whenever he was around, which I appreciated.

There were a lot of things I liked about dating you, but one of the best things was knowing that if I had a problem, you would (and did) help. *hugs* Thanks. (And -- how does someone accept an apology without sounding like a twit? Well, we're good on my front.)

J

(The comment has been removed)

jbmcdragon October 4 2012, 01:13:30 UTC

And this is what makes you a great man -- that you acknowledge it and actually apologize, instead of getting defensive. See, we need more of this. ;)

J

(Uh, not from you. In general!)

maureenans October 3 2012, 23:00:58 UTC

When I was in my first month as a freshman in college, the guy across the hall was friends with my roommate. They were hanging out in our room one night and I was on my computer, watching a live stream of some show. I forget which one. I had my headphones on and back to them. He got my attention and asked me a sexual question. I refused to answer and went back to what I was doing. He repeated it, getting my attention again. And on and on, each question being more sexualized and my roommate teasing me about refusing to answer and goading him on to get more and more intrusive and inappropriate ( ... )

jbmcdragon October 3 2012, 23:28:13 UTC

Well done. *HUGS* I'm glad you reported it, and if he ever did anything else I'm glad he'd have been on record already! You know, you're a pretty incredible lady. :D

(Clearly, the Great California Adventure was well timed. You needed a break!)

J

maureenans October 3 2012, 23:32:23 UTC

it never occurred to me NOT to report it. It just took me a little time to decide who I should report it to. By choosing the city police I never gave the university a chance to wipe it under the rug. I don't know that they would have, but it seems like a very likely outcome.

I'm not a girl who puts up with that sort of crap and never have been. I honestly grew up thinking that there was absolutely no reason I couldn't be smart, gorgeous and kick ass. I blame comics, star trek, and traveling the world :) I mean, my mom moved a family of 4 to Japan by herself and there was a bombing at my hotel when I was 8. I HAD to be a self-rescuing princess!

maureenans October 3 2012, 23:04:45 UTC

I also have a "creepy uncle" like that - my aunt and uncle were married, had two children and then divorced. This is my aunt's second husband.

He is beyond creepy and inappropriate. I think so, my grandmother thinks so, my mom thinks so and my brother's girlfriend thinks so. If anyone else does, I've never seen a hint of it. I have spent the last two family gatherings that I attended worrying because if he said or did anything, I WAS going to say something I would NOT be sorry. Thankfully, for family peace, I was able to avoid him without being TOO obvious about it.

I've already been called a bitch by my uncle (my aunt's first husband). So really...what's one more time?

jbmcdragon October 3 2012, 23:30:40 UTC

I have an uncle-by-marriage of my own that I always got odd vibes off of. He never did or asked anything inappropriate, but he was invested in being just "Steve" and not "Uncle Steve," and there was just something I couldn't ever put my finger on. A few years back my aunt divorced him for cheating on her. All I could think was, "Saw that one coming..."

It's sad that we have to avoid these guys for family peace, when really the appropriate response is for the family to tell him to knock it off. :( But no one wants to believe bad things of their family (or friends).

J

maureenans October 3 2012, 23:36:20 UTC

Yeah. I've already been called a bitch once by a different uncle for asserting myself, so I really can't say anything at this point (even though I was completely right in asking my brother to hurry up since we had somewhere to be quickly and he had NO reason to call me a bitch for telling my brother to hurry up).

I know if I said something, it would simply be me being a bitch because everyone *loves* him and if his wife, 2 step daughters, their husbands and 5 grandchildren all think he's awesome....

It should also be noted that my brother thinks this uncle is absolutely HILARIOUS even though he knows that we all cannot stand him.

beachlass October 4 2012, 12:38:25 UTC

Just offering a gentle hug in solidarity. How awful it is that these are the experiences that make us feel 'lucky'.

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