Your comfort level with Jewish Law, and Shabbat

[iscrewedyrman]

Shabbat Shalom! Just curious as to everyone's different ways of keeping Shabbat. For example, I'm into the candle, meal, temple, go home and relax/read/internet sort of thing for Fridays. On Saturdays, I just relax at home - with lights, yes.  My rabbis always mentioned if you're not going to do something, have a reason why and why not you're going

Comments

[countessof_roth]

I use electricity, and drive for a few reasons:

Friday nights are the ONLY night that is garanteed that my husband will be with me, and home from work.
I will occasionally sew on a Friday night but BUT that's more of a "I MUST HAVE MY HANDS MOVING" adhd issue than a "must get shit done" issue. If it wasn't sewing it'd be spinning yarn or knitting.

We usually pull up a movie on netflix after shul, put the kid down and watch it together. Its pretty much the ONLY time we have together all week.

I TRY and stay off of FB and LJ, but as you can see, that's not working this weekend. :(

[threnody]

I usually light candles, and I'm working up to kiddush and a meal- I just feel a lot like I'm on display because I have roommates who are home on Friday evenings. I'd probably do it if they weren't home.

I try to create a Shabbos atmosphere by doing enjoyable things on Shabbos that I don't really have time to do during the week. I try hard not to run errands or do things like cleaning, etc. I visit my sister, play with my dogs, read some fic. I'm working on the details bit by bit. I enjoy knitting but if I do it on Saturdays it's because I need to (it's an axiety/depression therapy for me) and not because I'm just bored. I don't write. It's something to start with, anyway.

[iscrewedyrman]

have 3 roommates besides myself, so I know how that is. One actually is Hindu and comes to temple, shabbat dinners,eats challah, etc with me. The other is n ex-Orthodox girl who used to live in Israel and while she never joins in,she'll help out when she' home, so I'm not completely lost.

Do you think your room mates would be interested in your Shabbat rituals, or are you guys not that close?

[threnody]

My roommates are my youngest sister and her boyfriend; the latter is respectful but not that interested, the former is somewhat interested but not extremely so. They've both made the transition so easy for me, and I'm incredibly grateful. Our kitchen is babystep-kosher (no pork or shellfish, separate cutting board for meat), and though we mix pots and pans we separate meals by meat or dairy. They even kept Passover with me (no chametz, but didn't bother trying to explain or banish kitniyot), to the point where my sister was constantly grilling me about what I was putting in my mouth.

Problem is, I don't *want* the audience or help when it comes to ritual. I feel really weird and self conscious about doing ritual anything at all, so doing it in front of people (even/especially family) is completely out of the question for me. Social anxiety is a bitch. :/

[threnody]

Okay, you lost me. I still don't understand why she wouldn't give it out. I mean, she might make an argument that's not Shabbosdik to talk about things related to telephones on Shabbos, but that's pretty darn thin imo. To someone post-conversion she'd have a leg to stand on, but if the OP was pre-conversion what's it to her if someone else writes on Shabbos?

[itslily]

Well, by telling you her phone number, she could be causing you to write it down or pull out your phone to program her number, which are both transgressions of the halacha of shabbos. It could be that she did not want her actions to cause someone else to do something against halacha, which I totally understand. I personally, as well as many FFB Jews I know, treat pre-conversion candidates the same as post-conversion candidates when it comes to these things. By her allowing you to go against a certain halacha, it is as if she is advocating that practice, which she clearly doesn't.

Hopefully that made somewhat of coherent sense at almost 1am :)

[threnody]

Heh, I was editing my comment to reflect that I am a tired dumbass and thought it was the OP in that situation and thus potentially pre-conversion. One Jew to another is a different story, though there's no reason she couldn't just have said they should connect through a mutual acquaintance after Shabbos (like the person whose dinner they were at) than make a situation more awkward than it had to be.

Honestly, I've never heard of someone treating conversion candidates as if they were Jews. Normally what I hear is the *opposite*. We can't do this but here, you can do it for us because you're not Jewish. Which of course *also* is not allowed but seems to be more acceptable somehow.

[iscrewedyrman]

I'm on the liberal end sometimes too, the girl who didn't want to give out her info was Conservative. I'm also trying to increase my observance but electricity is something I really just don't see myself giving up at all.

[i_saw_the_fall]

I'm Reform, so I'm a bit lax in keeping Shabbat in many ways. I do try to go to services every Friday night. Usually after I'll go out to dinner with some friends from shul. I try not to do any work on Saturdays which can sometimes be hard since I'm a teacher and sometimes have so much grading to do that I can't just rely on Sunday to do it all. Most Saturdays though I either spend at home lounging, reading, crafting, etc. Sometimes I'll go to a movie. I try to spend Shabbat just relaxing as much as I can, but I do use electricity and drive.