Happy Holidays, sexyjobros!
Recipient: sexyjobros
Author: justranda
Title: Can I Be the Only Hope For You? ('Cause You're the Only Hope for Me)
Characters: Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, Demi Lovato, Ashley Greene
Pairings: always a girl!Joe/Nick (very brief mention of girl!Joe/Ashley Greene)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3244
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Genderfuck.
Disclaimer: Last time I checked, Joseph Jonas was not, in fact, female. So obviously, this isn't real. If you got here by googling your name, please, for the love of Mike, hit the back button.
A/N: Thanks to megayal for the initial betaing/lookover and beautifularmour for the final beta/handholding/cheerleading.
Summary: After Jo's and Demi’s falling out, Nick seemed to pick sides, which Jo had kind of been hoping for. She just hadn’t expected to be on the losing side.
The Request: Always a girl!Joe
“Thank you, Argentina! Goodnight!”
Jo’s beaming, eyes straining against the bright lights to see all the people nestled together in the darkened corner of the arena. She can feel the energy of the crowd; it sings along her skin like an electric current and she’s riding it, letting it fuel her own excitement. This, this right here is what she lives for - their fans, the roar from the crowds that seems to echo in her ears long after they’ve gotten off stage.
She can see Nick and Kevin already edging off stage and Big Rob is standing at his post, surveying the crowd with a knowing eye. Jo gives one last enthusiastic wave and a flippant curtsy before she follows her brothers. The smile drops off her face almost instantly once she’s backstage, safely hidden from view. She’s still high from their performance, but underneath it all is a bone-deep weariness.
It’s the end of the tour and while the last three months have been more than taxing, the last two weeks have really taken their toll. Most of the tour crew is giving her space, including her brothers, but she’ll catch some of them looking at her sidelong. It drives her crazy because she’s not some fragile egg, ready to crack at the slightest pressure. Granted, she almost prefers the curious looks in favor of Garbo’s concern and John Taylor’s sad smiles. She just wants to shake them all and yell, “My best friend is crazy, not dead!” but she’s not sure that that wouldn’t be proving the point that she’s more messed up about this than she lets on.
Worst of all is Nick. After her and Demi’s falling out, Nick seemed to pick sides, which Jo had kind of been hoping for. She just hadn’t expected to be on the losing side. Jo hadn’t meant to hurt Demi’s feelings and she loves her dearly, but she couldn’t - she can’t - give her what she wanted. The not liking girls issue aside, Jo was - is - already in love with someone else. She’d broken down after Demi had left, curled up on her bed, heartbroken. For her, for Demi, for unrequited love. Nick had found her that way and she’d told him everything. Well, everything short of who it was that she was in love with. Looking back, she’s thankful she had the smarts to keep her mouth shut.
Losing her brother is hard enough without Jo complicating things further.
*****
The start of the tour goes off without a hitch and for a short while, Jo even believes that maybe things can go back to normal, that it won’t be weird between her and Demi. But then the rumors start flying and Demi’s crying on stage and Jo’s at a loss. The fans are blaming her, without even coming close to an iota of the truth and Demi won’t talk to her about it, of course.
In a fit of loneliness, Jo invites Ashley to come hang out on tour, which only seems to make things worse. She’s not a replacement for Demi - Jo could never replace her - but she needs someone that she can talk to, who can make her forget about the tension and the drama surrounding what should have been the best tour of their lives. It only gets worse when pictures surface of Ashley kissing Jo. They’re out of context, but suddenly Jo’s caught up in a whirlwind of press coverage and she’s having to do damage control, though no one seems to believe her.
Nick’s the worst. The longer this thing with Demi goes on, the more Jo can feel Nick pulling away from her, his quiet disappointment as loud as if he’d yelled at her. He starts spending a lot of time with Demi and Jo watches as they giggle together and perform flawlessly together, blatantly at ease and in sync. It makes Jo’s heart ache, to watch her two favorite people caught up in each other and very clearly not needing her.
It doesn’t really hit her until she’s racing through the venue, suppressing giggles as she tries to find a hiding spot for their nightly game of Hide n’ Seek. Jo always loses, giving herself away with snickers whenever whoever is ‘it’ gets too close. But it’s a good way to shake off the lingering tendrils of adrenaline and Jo especially loves it when she finds a difficult hiding spot.
Tonight, she’s sure she’s struck gold, stumbling upon a little alcove, tucked away in the shadows just enough that she won’t be easily spotted. As she wedges herself into the tight space, the murmur of voices carries towards her and Jo looks around, curious. The last thing she expects to see are Nick and Demi, bodies curved in towards each other, whispering softly. There is nothing inappropriate about the way they are positioned but it is such an intimate moment that it takes Jo’s breath away. She sucks in a startled breath, clamping her hand over her mouth, eyes stinging.
She edges away with caution, so as not to alert them to her presence and when she runs into Garbo on the way out the door, feigns being sick. She spends the rest of the night curled up in her bunk, curtains drawn, tears leaking into her pillow and biting her lip so hard it bleeds.
*****
Things get worse after that. Now that she’s seen them together, Jo wonders how she could have ever failed to notice before. Demi smiles for Nick, the one that only Jo used to be able to bring out and Jo’s pretty sure she can see the same hearts in Nick’s eyes that are reflected in Demi’s. It makes her sick with jealousy.
Performing has lost its appeal, but Jo does everything to fake it, to make it seem like she wants to be on that stage every night, singing songs with two people who won’t even say a word to her when there’s no microphones around. They’re all dancing around this thing and everyone on tour notices, feels the tension. The Jo and Demi duets are off, their usual banter and camaraderie non-existent with Jo trying too hard to engage and Demi making it clear that she’s doing it because it’s her job. Nick’s better at pretending but even the fans notice that there’s something wrong between Nick and Jo.
She falls into bed every night, emotionally and mentally exhausted, clinging to her pillow as her eyes sting. She thinks that something’s got to give because she can’t keep doing this, can’t keep pretending.
*****
Demi being the one to give isn’t quite what Jo meant. She just kind of stares in shock as Demi reacts, fist connecting with the dancer’s face before anyone has even registered what’s going on. Demi looks as shocked as she feels.
Jo doesn’t think she’s ever seen her father so angry and there’s a big part of her that wants to step in and defend Demi, but it’s not her place. Nick stands defiant and loyal by Demi’s side, giving her hand a squeeze as she stoically takes her lecture. Jo’s curled up in one of the airport chairs, headphones in her ears. She can’t hear what they’re saying, but their body language says enough.
She never sees Demi leave, just hears about it when Kevin Sr. calls a band meeting, and Jo can’t help but feel sad and guilty. Maybe she should have tried just a little harder.
*****
Nick seems even more withdrawn since Demi’s departure, but Jo finds him watching her, face blank. She’s not sure what he’s looking for; he always walks away when she catches him. Two months ago she couldn’t imagine the idea of tour ending but now, she just wants to be done with all and back home in her bed, where she can hide under the covers and ignore the world.
The world’s done a pretty good job of ignoring her.
*****
“Nick, you’re rooming with Jo tonight.”
Jo looks up from where she’s curled up on the couch in their dressing room waiting for everyone else and she tries to school her face into something other than pained horror. It probably comes off looking more like a grimace, so she tugs the collar of her hoodie up to hide half of her face.
Dani came back for the final show so it’s only natural that she and Kevin would share a room, which means that Jo has to share with Nick. They haven’t slept in the same room since the beginning of tour, Nick always finding one of the guys to room with. Jo’s not sure if he is respecting her privacy or doing it on purpose to keep from being in the same room with her.
When Nick does nothing more than nod and grunt in reply, Jo figures it’s probably the latter.
The ride to the hotel is tense, with Dani and Kevin chattering about everything and nothing to fill the awkward silence. Jo sends her big brother a silent thank you and vows to get him something nice. Nick is silent beside her, holding himself tense on the bench, staying very carefully on his side; she can’t even feel his body heat.
Sighing, Jo presses her face to the cool glass and wishes for home.
*****
Jo’s still too wired, even as her body begs for sleep, but she’s not sure that she can handle staying in their room any longer. Not when Nick is making it so obvious that he’s pretending she doesn’t exist. It’s bad enough to have your heart broken by your brother and she wishes that he wouldn’t actively take what’s left and do a tap dance on it.
She’s tired, overly so and she’s reached the end of her emotional and mental rope and it’s the only explanation she has for crumbling the next time Nick doesn’t so much as walk past her as through her. It’s like she’s not even there.
Jo’s knees threaten to give out as she stares at her brother’s back where he’s fiddling with his guitar, her little hitching sobs leaving him unaffected.
“What do you want me to do, Nick? Please. Tell me what to do.”
When that doesn’t seem to warrant a response, Jo sinks down onto her own bed, staring at her blurry fingers through her tears. “I know you love her.”
Nick’s hands still on the strings and Jo’s heart wrenches in her chest, a new wave of tears tracking down her cheeks. “I know you love her and I don’t care, Nick. It doesn’t matter to me if you guys are together and I’ll even be the first to throw you a party if only it means that you’ll talk to me. I can’t keep going on like this with you hating me. I already lost my best friend, I can’t lose you, too.”
Jo hears the discord of the guitar when Nick sets it down and she can hear her brother moving about the room, but she doesn’t look up from her hands, tears falling into her lap. She wonders if they’ll replace her in the band since it’s not easy to successfully create music with someone you can’t even stand to be in the same room with.
The toes of Nick’s socked feet edge into Jo’s vision but she doesn’t look up until Nick says her name, a quietly confused sound. “Jo?”
She’s tired and Demi’s not the only one that’s suffered six months of emotional upheaval and she’s probably going to start her period soon or maybe this is punishment reserved for those who are in love with their brothers, but for whatever reason, Nick’s voice incites a new wave of tears and Jo hiccups, hating herself for letting Nick see her like this.
“Jo, what are you talking about?”
Suddenly, Jo’s angry. He doesn’t want to tell her about his girlfriend, fine. But if she comes right out and confronts him, he doesn’t have to be a dick and lie about it. Her head snaps up and she narrows her eyes at him, standing up.
“What am I talking about? You’re in love with Demi! God, Nick, I know you’re a douche and you think you’re better than everyone, but I’m your sister. You don’t. You can’t keep treating me this way. I can’t do this without you.”
The fight drains out of Jo and her shoulders sag as she stands in front of her brother, pleading with him. Nick’s looking at her oddly and it makes Jo’s throat constrict to know that she can’t read the look on his face and decipher it’s meaning. It’s like she doesn’t know who he is and that scares her.
“Please. Please, Nick. I need you and I love you and I just. I can’t.”
Nick’s eyes widen and he kind of flaps his hand in the air. Any other time, Jo would probably pat herself on the back for striking Nick speechless, but now it just makes the knots in her stomach curl tighter.
“Are you actually insane?” Jo’s offended by that and she draws herself up, ready to launch into Nick but he cuts her off with a wave of his hand, taking a step towards her. “Me and Demi? Really?”
Jo opens her mouth to answer but Nick just keeps walking towards her, forcing her to take steps backwards. The look on Nick’s face has shifted to something else, something both familiar and foreign and Jo’s thinking that maybe it’s Nick that’s the crazy one.
“Demi and I are friends, Jo. I’m not in love with her. Secondly, I don’t hate you. Not in the least. And thirdly, I should have guessed that you’d be a complete moron about this. I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner.”
Jo makes a small, surprised sound when her back hits the wall and for one panicky moment, she feels trapped. Then Nick’s words register and her mouth snaps shut with an audible click before opening again. “How dare you, Nick Jonas! You and Demi have been canoodling at every turn all summer, practically Siamese twins you’re so inseparable. And if you don’t hate me so much, well you sure have a funny way of showing it. You abandoned me when I needed you the most and now you’re going to sit here and call me names? I can’t believe I ever fell in love with you.”
After her grand confession, Jo understands what people mean by “deafening silence”. Nick’s looking at her, but instead of the disgust and rejection that she was expecting, she sees something closer to hope. She opens her mouth to retract that statement, smooth it over because seriously, Nick’s hurt her enough for one summer, but Nick’s there, crowding into her space and cupping her jaw, forcing her to tilt her head up as his lips claim hers.
Jo gasps and Nick takes that as permission to lick his way into her mouth, pressing closer to her, his strong arms tight around her middle, like he’s afraid if he loosens them even a little, she’s disappear. Her head is swimming and she’s pretty sure that she doesn’t know which way is up. In fact, she might even be floating. It doesn’t stop her from whimpering into Nick’s mouth, her fingers fisted tight in his shirt, no doubt stretching out the fabric.
Nick ends the kiss much too soon for Jo’s liking, and she makes a noise of protest when he pulls away, her eyes fluttering open. Nick’s staring at her mouth, bright spots of color on his cheeks, his own mouth raw and red, shiny with spit. Jo feels heat spike low in her belly, her pulse picking up as she gapes at her brother.
“Well, what do you know? It is possible to shut you up.”
Jo punches Nick in the arm, but it’s half-hearted. “Shut up, you jerk. I’m still mad at you.”
Nick just presses back into her space and Jo can’t help but feel safe with his muscled body framing hers, protecting her. “I’m sorry, Jo. I never meant to hurt you. Demi and I. We were bonding over a shared pain and it made it easier to know that someone else was going through it, too.”
Frowning, Jo tilted her head, looking up at Nick. “A shared pain?”
Lips twisting into a wry smile, Nick shrugged, “We both knew what it was like to be in love with you and know that you’d never feel the same way.”
“But I do feel the same way, Nicky. I mean. I don’t love Demi like that, I don’t like girls, but she’s my best friend and I love her with everything I can give her. And even if I did like girls, the main reason I couldn’t be with her is because I was already in love with you.”
“Was?” Nick pulls away slightly, his smile dropping away in favor of a frown. Jo rolls her eyes and presses her fingertips against his forehead, trying to smooth away the wrinkles.
“Don’t you think that if I wasn’t still in love with you, I wouldn’t have kissed you, Nicholas?”
“I don’t know. You’re kind of crazy.”
“Says the guy that has lucky game socks and a whole ritual that goes with them.”
“Hey, I haven’t lost a game, either.”
“Oh, so now you can see the future?”
In response, Nick kisses her, effectively derailing her train of thought. Jo melts into it, pressing herself against him, her skin tingling everywhere that they touched. Nick pulls back again and Jo’s breathless, heart racing.
“I don’t love Demi.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t hate you, but I am sorry for making you feel like I did.”
“I’ll forgive you if you promise to never do it again. I don’t think I could live through that kind of heartache again.” Jo’s serious and she suppresses the urge to tear up just thinking about it, instead pressing her face into Nick’s neck, inhaling his scent.
“I won’t. Distancing myself from you was torture, Jo. Even if I’d never had gotten you like this, there’s no way that I could have continued living that way. It was killing me and it made it worse to see how it was effecting you, despite your best efforts at faking it.”
“I never said I was a good actress.” Nick rumbles his agreement and Jo shakes with silent giggles as it tickles across her skin. She pulls back to look at Nick, staring into his eyes for a long moment.
“I love you, Nick J. I am in love with you. I think I always have been.”
“I know, now.” Nick kisses her again, turning her and walking her backwards towards the bed. Jo lets herself be manhandled, not wanting to be away from Nick long enough to put up the fight.
Nick presses her onto the bed, covering her body with his own, lacing their fingers above her head, dark eyes staring down at her. “I’m not in love with Demi.”
Jo grins, and pulls him down for kiss. “I know.”
-END-
Author: justranda
Title: Can I Be the Only Hope For You? ('Cause You're the Only Hope for Me)
Characters: Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, Demi Lovato, Ashley Greene
Pairings: always a girl!Joe/Nick (very brief mention of girl!Joe/Ashley Greene)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3244
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Genderfuck.
Disclaimer: Last time I checked, Joseph Jonas was not, in fact, female. So obviously, this isn't real. If you got here by googling your name, please, for the love of Mike, hit the back button.
A/N: Thanks to megayal for the initial betaing/lookover and beautifularmour for the final beta/handholding/cheerleading.
Summary: After Jo's and Demi’s falling out, Nick seemed to pick sides, which Jo had kind of been hoping for. She just hadn’t expected to be on the losing side.
The Request: Always a girl!Joe
“Thank you, Argentina! Goodnight!”
Jo’s beaming, eyes straining against the bright lights to see all the people nestled together in the darkened corner of the arena. She can feel the energy of the crowd; it sings along her skin like an electric current and she’s riding it, letting it fuel her own excitement. This, this right here is what she lives for - their fans, the roar from the crowds that seems to echo in her ears long after they’ve gotten off stage.
She can see Nick and Kevin already edging off stage and Big Rob is standing at his post, surveying the crowd with a knowing eye. Jo gives one last enthusiastic wave and a flippant curtsy before she follows her brothers. The smile drops off her face almost instantly once she’s backstage, safely hidden from view. She’s still high from their performance, but underneath it all is a bone-deep weariness.
It’s the end of the tour and while the last three months have been more than taxing, the last two weeks have really taken their toll. Most of the tour crew is giving her space, including her brothers, but she’ll catch some of them looking at her sidelong. It drives her crazy because she’s not some fragile egg, ready to crack at the slightest pressure. Granted, she almost prefers the curious looks in favor of Garbo’s concern and John Taylor’s sad smiles. She just wants to shake them all and yell, “My best friend is crazy, not dead!” but she’s not sure that that wouldn’t be proving the point that she’s more messed up about this than she lets on.
Worst of all is Nick. After her and Demi’s falling out, Nick seemed to pick sides, which Jo had kind of been hoping for. She just hadn’t expected to be on the losing side. Jo hadn’t meant to hurt Demi’s feelings and she loves her dearly, but she couldn’t - she can’t - give her what she wanted. The not liking girls issue aside, Jo was - is - already in love with someone else. She’d broken down after Demi had left, curled up on her bed, heartbroken. For her, for Demi, for unrequited love. Nick had found her that way and she’d told him everything. Well, everything short of who it was that she was in love with. Looking back, she’s thankful she had the smarts to keep her mouth shut.
Losing her brother is hard enough without Jo complicating things further.
*****
The start of the tour goes off without a hitch and for a short while, Jo even believes that maybe things can go back to normal, that it won’t be weird between her and Demi. But then the rumors start flying and Demi’s crying on stage and Jo’s at a loss. The fans are blaming her, without even coming close to an iota of the truth and Demi won’t talk to her about it, of course.
In a fit of loneliness, Jo invites Ashley to come hang out on tour, which only seems to make things worse. She’s not a replacement for Demi - Jo could never replace her - but she needs someone that she can talk to, who can make her forget about the tension and the drama surrounding what should have been the best tour of their lives. It only gets worse when pictures surface of Ashley kissing Jo. They’re out of context, but suddenly Jo’s caught up in a whirlwind of press coverage and she’s having to do damage control, though no one seems to believe her.
Nick’s the worst. The longer this thing with Demi goes on, the more Jo can feel Nick pulling away from her, his quiet disappointment as loud as if he’d yelled at her. He starts spending a lot of time with Demi and Jo watches as they giggle together and perform flawlessly together, blatantly at ease and in sync. It makes Jo’s heart ache, to watch her two favorite people caught up in each other and very clearly not needing her.
It doesn’t really hit her until she’s racing through the venue, suppressing giggles as she tries to find a hiding spot for their nightly game of Hide n’ Seek. Jo always loses, giving herself away with snickers whenever whoever is ‘it’ gets too close. But it’s a good way to shake off the lingering tendrils of adrenaline and Jo especially loves it when she finds a difficult hiding spot.
Tonight, she’s sure she’s struck gold, stumbling upon a little alcove, tucked away in the shadows just enough that she won’t be easily spotted. As she wedges herself into the tight space, the murmur of voices carries towards her and Jo looks around, curious. The last thing she expects to see are Nick and Demi, bodies curved in towards each other, whispering softly. There is nothing inappropriate about the way they are positioned but it is such an intimate moment that it takes Jo’s breath away. She sucks in a startled breath, clamping her hand over her mouth, eyes stinging.
She edges away with caution, so as not to alert them to her presence and when she runs into Garbo on the way out the door, feigns being sick. She spends the rest of the night curled up in her bunk, curtains drawn, tears leaking into her pillow and biting her lip so hard it bleeds.
*****
Things get worse after that. Now that she’s seen them together, Jo wonders how she could have ever failed to notice before. Demi smiles for Nick, the one that only Jo used to be able to bring out and Jo’s pretty sure she can see the same hearts in Nick’s eyes that are reflected in Demi’s. It makes her sick with jealousy.
Performing has lost its appeal, but Jo does everything to fake it, to make it seem like she wants to be on that stage every night, singing songs with two people who won’t even say a word to her when there’s no microphones around. They’re all dancing around this thing and everyone on tour notices, feels the tension. The Jo and Demi duets are off, their usual banter and camaraderie non-existent with Jo trying too hard to engage and Demi making it clear that she’s doing it because it’s her job. Nick’s better at pretending but even the fans notice that there’s something wrong between Nick and Jo.
She falls into bed every night, emotionally and mentally exhausted, clinging to her pillow as her eyes sting. She thinks that something’s got to give because she can’t keep doing this, can’t keep pretending.
*****
Demi being the one to give isn’t quite what Jo meant. She just kind of stares in shock as Demi reacts, fist connecting with the dancer’s face before anyone has even registered what’s going on. Demi looks as shocked as she feels.
Jo doesn’t think she’s ever seen her father so angry and there’s a big part of her that wants to step in and defend Demi, but it’s not her place. Nick stands defiant and loyal by Demi’s side, giving her hand a squeeze as she stoically takes her lecture. Jo’s curled up in one of the airport chairs, headphones in her ears. She can’t hear what they’re saying, but their body language says enough.
She never sees Demi leave, just hears about it when Kevin Sr. calls a band meeting, and Jo can’t help but feel sad and guilty. Maybe she should have tried just a little harder.
*****
Nick seems even more withdrawn since Demi’s departure, but Jo finds him watching her, face blank. She’s not sure what he’s looking for; he always walks away when she catches him. Two months ago she couldn’t imagine the idea of tour ending but now, she just wants to be done with all and back home in her bed, where she can hide under the covers and ignore the world.
The world’s done a pretty good job of ignoring her.
*****
“Nick, you’re rooming with Jo tonight.”
Jo looks up from where she’s curled up on the couch in their dressing room waiting for everyone else and she tries to school her face into something other than pained horror. It probably comes off looking more like a grimace, so she tugs the collar of her hoodie up to hide half of her face.
Dani came back for the final show so it’s only natural that she and Kevin would share a room, which means that Jo has to share with Nick. They haven’t slept in the same room since the beginning of tour, Nick always finding one of the guys to room with. Jo’s not sure if he is respecting her privacy or doing it on purpose to keep from being in the same room with her.
When Nick does nothing more than nod and grunt in reply, Jo figures it’s probably the latter.
The ride to the hotel is tense, with Dani and Kevin chattering about everything and nothing to fill the awkward silence. Jo sends her big brother a silent thank you and vows to get him something nice. Nick is silent beside her, holding himself tense on the bench, staying very carefully on his side; she can’t even feel his body heat.
Sighing, Jo presses her face to the cool glass and wishes for home.
*****
Jo’s still too wired, even as her body begs for sleep, but she’s not sure that she can handle staying in their room any longer. Not when Nick is making it so obvious that he’s pretending she doesn’t exist. It’s bad enough to have your heart broken by your brother and she wishes that he wouldn’t actively take what’s left and do a tap dance on it.
She’s tired, overly so and she’s reached the end of her emotional and mental rope and it’s the only explanation she has for crumbling the next time Nick doesn’t so much as walk past her as through her. It’s like she’s not even there.
Jo’s knees threaten to give out as she stares at her brother’s back where he’s fiddling with his guitar, her little hitching sobs leaving him unaffected.
“What do you want me to do, Nick? Please. Tell me what to do.”
When that doesn’t seem to warrant a response, Jo sinks down onto her own bed, staring at her blurry fingers through her tears. “I know you love her.”
Nick’s hands still on the strings and Jo’s heart wrenches in her chest, a new wave of tears tracking down her cheeks. “I know you love her and I don’t care, Nick. It doesn’t matter to me if you guys are together and I’ll even be the first to throw you a party if only it means that you’ll talk to me. I can’t keep going on like this with you hating me. I already lost my best friend, I can’t lose you, too.”
Jo hears the discord of the guitar when Nick sets it down and she can hear her brother moving about the room, but she doesn’t look up from her hands, tears falling into her lap. She wonders if they’ll replace her in the band since it’s not easy to successfully create music with someone you can’t even stand to be in the same room with.
The toes of Nick’s socked feet edge into Jo’s vision but she doesn’t look up until Nick says her name, a quietly confused sound. “Jo?”
She’s tired and Demi’s not the only one that’s suffered six months of emotional upheaval and she’s probably going to start her period soon or maybe this is punishment reserved for those who are in love with their brothers, but for whatever reason, Nick’s voice incites a new wave of tears and Jo hiccups, hating herself for letting Nick see her like this.
“Jo, what are you talking about?”
Suddenly, Jo’s angry. He doesn’t want to tell her about his girlfriend, fine. But if she comes right out and confronts him, he doesn’t have to be a dick and lie about it. Her head snaps up and she narrows her eyes at him, standing up.
“What am I talking about? You’re in love with Demi! God, Nick, I know you’re a douche and you think you’re better than everyone, but I’m your sister. You don’t. You can’t keep treating me this way. I can’t do this without you.”
The fight drains out of Jo and her shoulders sag as she stands in front of her brother, pleading with him. Nick’s looking at her oddly and it makes Jo’s throat constrict to know that she can’t read the look on his face and decipher it’s meaning. It’s like she doesn’t know who he is and that scares her.
“Please. Please, Nick. I need you and I love you and I just. I can’t.”
Nick’s eyes widen and he kind of flaps his hand in the air. Any other time, Jo would probably pat herself on the back for striking Nick speechless, but now it just makes the knots in her stomach curl tighter.
“Are you actually insane?” Jo’s offended by that and she draws herself up, ready to launch into Nick but he cuts her off with a wave of his hand, taking a step towards her. “Me and Demi? Really?”
Jo opens her mouth to answer but Nick just keeps walking towards her, forcing her to take steps backwards. The look on Nick’s face has shifted to something else, something both familiar and foreign and Jo’s thinking that maybe it’s Nick that’s the crazy one.
“Demi and I are friends, Jo. I’m not in love with her. Secondly, I don’t hate you. Not in the least. And thirdly, I should have guessed that you’d be a complete moron about this. I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner.”
Jo makes a small, surprised sound when her back hits the wall and for one panicky moment, she feels trapped. Then Nick’s words register and her mouth snaps shut with an audible click before opening again. “How dare you, Nick Jonas! You and Demi have been canoodling at every turn all summer, practically Siamese twins you’re so inseparable. And if you don’t hate me so much, well you sure have a funny way of showing it. You abandoned me when I needed you the most and now you’re going to sit here and call me names? I can’t believe I ever fell in love with you.”
After her grand confession, Jo understands what people mean by “deafening silence”. Nick’s looking at her, but instead of the disgust and rejection that she was expecting, she sees something closer to hope. She opens her mouth to retract that statement, smooth it over because seriously, Nick’s hurt her enough for one summer, but Nick’s there, crowding into her space and cupping her jaw, forcing her to tilt her head up as his lips claim hers.
Jo gasps and Nick takes that as permission to lick his way into her mouth, pressing closer to her, his strong arms tight around her middle, like he’s afraid if he loosens them even a little, she’s disappear. Her head is swimming and she’s pretty sure that she doesn’t know which way is up. In fact, she might even be floating. It doesn’t stop her from whimpering into Nick’s mouth, her fingers fisted tight in his shirt, no doubt stretching out the fabric.
Nick ends the kiss much too soon for Jo’s liking, and she makes a noise of protest when he pulls away, her eyes fluttering open. Nick’s staring at her mouth, bright spots of color on his cheeks, his own mouth raw and red, shiny with spit. Jo feels heat spike low in her belly, her pulse picking up as she gapes at her brother.
“Well, what do you know? It is possible to shut you up.”
Jo punches Nick in the arm, but it’s half-hearted. “Shut up, you jerk. I’m still mad at you.”
Nick just presses back into her space and Jo can’t help but feel safe with his muscled body framing hers, protecting her. “I’m sorry, Jo. I never meant to hurt you. Demi and I. We were bonding over a shared pain and it made it easier to know that someone else was going through it, too.”
Frowning, Jo tilted her head, looking up at Nick. “A shared pain?”
Lips twisting into a wry smile, Nick shrugged, “We both knew what it was like to be in love with you and know that you’d never feel the same way.”
“But I do feel the same way, Nicky. I mean. I don’t love Demi like that, I don’t like girls, but she’s my best friend and I love her with everything I can give her. And even if I did like girls, the main reason I couldn’t be with her is because I was already in love with you.”
“Was?” Nick pulls away slightly, his smile dropping away in favor of a frown. Jo rolls her eyes and presses her fingertips against his forehead, trying to smooth away the wrinkles.
“Don’t you think that if I wasn’t still in love with you, I wouldn’t have kissed you, Nicholas?”
“I don’t know. You’re kind of crazy.”
“Says the guy that has lucky game socks and a whole ritual that goes with them.”
“Hey, I haven’t lost a game, either.”
“Oh, so now you can see the future?”
In response, Nick kisses her, effectively derailing her train of thought. Jo melts into it, pressing herself against him, her skin tingling everywhere that they touched. Nick pulls back again and Jo’s breathless, heart racing.
“I don’t love Demi.”
“Okay.”
“And I don’t hate you, but I am sorry for making you feel like I did.”
“I’ll forgive you if you promise to never do it again. I don’t think I could live through that kind of heartache again.” Jo’s serious and she suppresses the urge to tear up just thinking about it, instead pressing her face into Nick’s neck, inhaling his scent.
“I won’t. Distancing myself from you was torture, Jo. Even if I’d never had gotten you like this, there’s no way that I could have continued living that way. It was killing me and it made it worse to see how it was effecting you, despite your best efforts at faking it.”
“I never said I was a good actress.” Nick rumbles his agreement and Jo shakes with silent giggles as it tickles across her skin. She pulls back to look at Nick, staring into his eyes for a long moment.
“I love you, Nick J. I am in love with you. I think I always have been.”
“I know, now.” Nick kisses her again, turning her and walking her backwards towards the bed. Jo lets herself be manhandled, not wanting to be away from Nick long enough to put up the fight.
Nick presses her onto the bed, covering her body with his own, lacing their fingers above her head, dark eyes staring down at her. “I’m not in love with Demi.”
Jo grins, and pulls him down for kiss. “I know.”
-END-