So, it's official then...
Kangaroo Hut is officially over. I went to the meeting this morning and was told the position was dissolved, though I hadn't worked in months. I've been to more interviews and shot off more resumes. We're talking of converting an office to be a more permanent space. There's clearly things on the horizon.
I still feel abandoned. Like I continue to make bad choices and trust that others will protect me, but they don't.
I remember when I was offered the position with the Starship. I had just quit my jobs and decided to move South, but I didn't have an opportunity lined up. Yet, there it was, and I was with them for over five years, only to be destroyed in a blaze of confusing fire that still burns me to this day.
I'm overqualified, but underqualified. I'm overeducated, but still unemployed. And while the private practice will be growing and it's exciting to get my own space, it's still jarring that yet again, I am pushed out of crisis.
They took my keys. Said I could apply elsewhere in the company. Good luck to you, kid.
It's conflicting. I knew I would possibly end my employment there once the private caseload was sustainable, but I wasn't going to RIGHT NOW. And I continued to move forward with training and having the best hopes that I could continue to pull in money.
But no. I wasn't terminated, but the position was. However, I was in that position, so now I don't get to eat?
It's frustrating. I am so, so tired. I miss the Starship and its people. I miss my counselors. I missed the prospect of doing some good, as well as being able to provide for myself.
And now, I can't.
So, goodbye, Kangaroo Hut. Sorry it didn't work out. I can only hope that those clients' lives I've touched are better for it, as well as those coworkers I still maintain contact. You made me remember what it was like to work in crisis again, and how much I missed Caterpillar, and still how the House haunts me from the Good Old Days.
I appreciate I'll no longer have to worry about shifts from you, or bureaucracy, or questioning my ethics. Or receive screaming phone calls. Or leaving my home to cover because yet again, someone called out.
But I'll miss that chaos. I'll miss the weekend where Sadiecat was a therapy cat. I'll miss us going to fireworks. I'll miss the good work we did.
I am trying to be thankful, that my mother is better and I took the time to help with their rehab. But I'm also very bitter because first the Starship, and now Kangaroo Hut. Maybe my trust shouldn't be given to others, maybe I shouldn't show my excitement.
But the truth is I'll continue to be excited and continue to get hurt...
... maybe I'll protect myself better next time.
I still feel abandoned. Like I continue to make bad choices and trust that others will protect me, but they don't.
I remember when I was offered the position with the Starship. I had just quit my jobs and decided to move South, but I didn't have an opportunity lined up. Yet, there it was, and I was with them for over five years, only to be destroyed in a blaze of confusing fire that still burns me to this day.
I'm overqualified, but underqualified. I'm overeducated, but still unemployed. And while the private practice will be growing and it's exciting to get my own space, it's still jarring that yet again, I am pushed out of crisis.
They took my keys. Said I could apply elsewhere in the company. Good luck to you, kid.
It's conflicting. I knew I would possibly end my employment there once the private caseload was sustainable, but I wasn't going to RIGHT NOW. And I continued to move forward with training and having the best hopes that I could continue to pull in money.
But no. I wasn't terminated, but the position was. However, I was in that position, so now I don't get to eat?
It's frustrating. I am so, so tired. I miss the Starship and its people. I miss my counselors. I missed the prospect of doing some good, as well as being able to provide for myself.
And now, I can't.
So, goodbye, Kangaroo Hut. Sorry it didn't work out. I can only hope that those clients' lives I've touched are better for it, as well as those coworkers I still maintain contact. You made me remember what it was like to work in crisis again, and how much I missed Caterpillar, and still how the House haunts me from the Good Old Days.
I appreciate I'll no longer have to worry about shifts from you, or bureaucracy, or questioning my ethics. Or receive screaming phone calls. Or leaving my home to cover because yet again, someone called out.
But I'll miss that chaos. I'll miss the weekend where Sadiecat was a therapy cat. I'll miss us going to fireworks. I'll miss the good work we did.
I am trying to be thankful, that my mother is better and I took the time to help with their rehab. But I'm also very bitter because first the Starship, and now Kangaroo Hut. Maybe my trust shouldn't be given to others, maybe I shouldn't show my excitement.
But the truth is I'll continue to be excited and continue to get hurt...
... maybe I'll protect myself better next time.