It was definitely a GOOOOOOOD Friday...
This week has sped by in my efforts to get to Connecticut. After the fantastic weekend I had, I was thrown into a conundrum at the Starship with odd and constantly-changing priorities. Most the week was spent with bumping around clients, trying to find clients, and seeing if they would pay us money. I had multiple lists, highlighted papers strewn throughout my desk. Several stickies scratched out with names, dates of birth, and phone numbers would randomly blow around my wallicle. My voicemails kept coming in, clients whining about medications or trying to find a quick fix. It had been a severely stressful week at the Starship.
I don't know if it was the beginning of the year with the changes I've made in my life. I don't know if it's because I started going back to Mass or finally was able to relax from the clinical perspective. I don't know if it was finally leaving the Valley and embracing Baltimore. I doubt I could put all of it on a single event, but I am at peace with the entire work situation. While I don't like it when Dr. Yoyo calls me his "secretary," I have made peace with the fact that I'm no longer a clinician. Details, meds, diagnoses; they all filter into my brain with a fond commonality, but I'm not as invested anymore. I was finally able to detract myself from the more human side of therapy. While I know I was lied to, and told I would be dealing with crisis intake and now I'm just making appointments, I seem to have made peace with that as well. I'm no longer as angry. I don't get as indignant when I'm told by superiors how we're going to compromise the quality of care. There's really been a sensation of "let go and let God" which I am very thankful for, as it was desperately needed in my life at this time.
Holy Thursday consisted of the Girl Scout cookie fail, though other things had happened as well. After writing that I was going to put Hustla in a box, I had a long conversation with two separate friends about the entire box theory. One was trying to be supportive when it was her own time of need; she doesn't like for me to get hurt and especially with everything that happened last year, I think she's more worried about me now. I pretty much brushed off the entire topic, figuring I had written about it and thus it was done. However, I launched into another conversation with another friend of mine that night, whom used to play the Game and can appreciate it. I know I had a lot of trouble dealing with the Hustla situation to begin with, not holding all the cards as it were. He runs hot and cold at times, and I don't clearly know my role. Despite the various blunt implications I had given him, he still hadn't pulled through for me, which was tiring me more than irritating me. On Wednesday, he had been saying something cute to Habladora, and I just responded afterwards. I don't even remember what I said, to be honest. However, he asked me if I was "jealous," which spurned me to a level of unholy evil. At first, I tried to comprehend the statement; while I doubt he is trying anything with Habladora, and he really didn't say anything too avert, the fact that he would leap to the jealous comment made my head actually tilt.
After updating the second friend with this information, it was discussed whether I should put Hustla in a box or play the Game. I was told, "Play the player." Part of me wondered if I remembered how; the last time I had played true Game was when Clementine was involved, which was over a year and a half ago. After I had agreed to Hustla's terms, there was no reason for game, and I let him take the steering wheel for the past three months.
Now, I was tired.
On Holy Thursday, I went into work with a smile on my face. I was wearing one of my favorite shirts, one that I had bought with Bluejay and I felt particularly rockin' in. In fact, Hustla had seen me in that shirt and taken me out of that shirt during the snowpocalypse, so he would remember it as well. Regardless, I went into work with my lucky shirt and a smile on my face. I took my hair down for reasons unbeknownst to me (it's linked to my evil) and was helping Habladora with her computer when Hustla came in. I hardly acknowledged him; I drug a nail across his hip, watched his face go all O.o while mine stayed blank, then walked away.
I texted my friend afterwards, simply stating, "I am evil… And it is fantastic… I am an evil woman with nails. This ain't his playing field no more." All I got back was the reply, "Word! You take that field back witcha bad self!"
I strutted around the rest of the day highly amused with myself and feeling like I had conquered something. While nothing came of it, it was nice to get a reaction from him, especially when it had been pretty much one-sided for the better part of two months. I came home that night, installed rain guards on Onyx, had Dern come over for her check, and then en flambed my Girl Scout cookies. I had gotten a text from Hunny stating she wouldn't be home for Supernatural, which made me very sad. I knew Shink would be calling me afterward, so I huddled down under my Sherpa and went to watch the show.
About midway through, my cell phone went off. I had assumed it was Shink responding to something happening in the show; instead, it was Hustla with a simple "You busy".
MY GAME HAD WORKED. Bwahahahah!
Granted, nothing came of it, as Hustla's timing seems to always correspond with Shania's, but it was a small feat to be conquered. I came into work the next day with a loaded-up Onyx, another smile, and the eagerness to get to the Valley. I was back on my Game. I knew the rules again. And I had cute clothes, a bangin' sound system, and a designated driver. It was ON.
I loaded up my new car Friday morning, eager to embark on Onyx's first journey to Connecticut. While Kermit had been to Connecticut several times, Onyx hadn't had the chance to do so. Also, this would be my first time driving to Connecticut alone; for the past year, I always had someone with me to share the driving to save my poor knee. Now with Onyx's awesome cruise control, I figured I could venture and try this myself.
Kayrin had emailed me earlier in the week about the "Good-Friday-Sushi-Eating-Karaoke-Singing-Happy-Fun-Time" which made that Good Friday was going to be a Very Busy Day. Originally, the idea came to me back in January, when I had decided to go to Connecticut for Easter. As I was not seeing Shink any longer and would not be in the Valley as often, I decided to drive through the Valley, have dinner with the friends I hadn't seen, and continue North to Smurf's. My only requirement was that we had seafood, as it was Friday. The entire date happened to correspond with Hunny's birthday, but she had said it was more important to see me and that her birthday didn't matter if I was coming North.
Then I started talking to Shink again. So instead of Come Out to Dinner and See Jess btw, it's Hunny's Birthday, it was flipped to We're Going Out for Hunny's Birthday oh bee tee dubs, Jess is in the Valley. Additionally, Shink recently got promoted, which resulted in a midnight phone call about "HOW MUCH SLEEP DO YOU NEED!?!?!?!11!????" as he had wanted to get a large group together to go do karaoke.
Thus Good Friday happened.
I drove up from Baltimore, stopping at Bluejay's. We put on our matching boyfriend jackets, donned some makeup, and went out to eat hibachi. We jammed out in Bluejay's new car to my thuggin' out CD, which started a small dance partay. We ate good food, traded lots of dishes, and I caught some sort of vegetable in my mouth on the first shot because my aim is awesome. Hunny opened presents, we embarrassed her by singing loudly (and badly), and put a dragon on her head.
We swung past the house to drop off our boxes and pick up earrings, then gallivanted to downtown Bethlehem for the infamous karaoke bar. We realized that despite the length of our friendships, this would only be the second time I had been out with Caterpillar and the first time ever with Bluejay. As I had a designated driver, I proceeded to get sloshed. I ended up handing Jennie my money and said, "Just get me something not carbonated." Between shots of whiskey, red-headed sluts, and SoCo with lime, I was drinking vodka with cranberry and pineapple juices. And I was dancing and singing my butt off. During this time, as I am Jess:· had a random crayzee black chick come up and dance with me
· had the security guard come over, argue with him about the benefits of Marlboro Smooths, and proceed to check him out most of the night (both of the previous made Trips comment, "They're just flocking to you!")
· kissed most of my friends, and took pictures to prove a point
· danced with Nikki's fiancée because, hey why not
· simulated various naughty acts with Trips because again, why not
· got involved in a dance sandwich between Trips and Shink (yeah, I don't know about that one either)
· proceeded to tell too many people about my interactions with Hustla
· smacked way too many asses repeatedly
· force Caterpillar to dance because both of us were drinking more and more
· made Otter Bucket oh-so-excited and dance a lot with me
· accepted blame for "forcing" Kayrin to come to the bar instead of being in a hot tub with a Polish chick
· almost fell over because the security guard and Hustla had the same name (in retrospect, I probably did look like a crayzee white chick. I asked him what his name was, turned about, told my friends, and doubled over in laughter)
· was approached by a young white guy who wanted Hunny and I to go to a fire hall
· set Nikki's fiancée on fire with a cigarette (which was mildly ironic as he is a fireman)
· lost traction of my eyes, and thus lost my ability to hear
· rolled my eyes and gagged a lot at Bluejay and her possibly new fuck puppet
· smoked an entire pack of Reds from about 3pm to 3am, not including the other Smooths I was also smoking
· shook my bon-bon
I held onto Bluejay as we crossed the street, and we decided to go to Denny's. I had not been that drunk since my going-away partay over a year ago. Thankfully, I'm not a black-out drunk and I just tend to lose my balance; this was exemplified when I dropped my perfectly good raspberry tea into my breakfast.
Bluejay drove my very tired self to her home around 0330, we changed, and I slept in a very comfy bed with Vengeance sitting on top of my head. I woke up at 0830, cursed my daylighter-internal body clock, and tried to go back to sleep when Vengeance decided to walk over me by way of my eyeball. (No, really. He stepped on my eyelid-covered eyeball with his back foot.) Then alarms started going off, Batman was knocking on doors, and I had to drive to Connecticut with only a couple hours of sleep and sore knees and feet.
Alas, I made it in the Awesome Onyx of Awesome and am currently sitting in Smurf's spa. She decided to get a massage, while I'll be having my cards read as a general sense of standard operations. Then we'll go to Metal Darts' house, where Smurf has set up her own massage table and I will be given an "official massage." After last night, I definitely need it. There will be Wii later, and tomorrow is Bunny Day, so all of Smurf's relatives will come over and I'll be the second tallest and responsible for getting dishes out of top cabinets. Afterward, I'll drive back through the Valley, hopefully see Jennie and update her on what has been happening for the past three months, then gallivant back to Baltimore.
I cannot continue to be thankful for the year 2010. As rough and unproductive as 2009, this year has simplified and made myself feel so much more full of life…
… and I continue to be thankful to be able to have good loving friends surround me, and that life never ceases to amaze me.
I don't know if it was the beginning of the year with the changes I've made in my life. I don't know if it's because I started going back to Mass or finally was able to relax from the clinical perspective. I don't know if it was finally leaving the Valley and embracing Baltimore. I doubt I could put all of it on a single event, but I am at peace with the entire work situation. While I don't like it when Dr. Yoyo calls me his "secretary," I have made peace with the fact that I'm no longer a clinician. Details, meds, diagnoses; they all filter into my brain with a fond commonality, but I'm not as invested anymore. I was finally able to detract myself from the more human side of therapy. While I know I was lied to, and told I would be dealing with crisis intake and now I'm just making appointments, I seem to have made peace with that as well. I'm no longer as angry. I don't get as indignant when I'm told by superiors how we're going to compromise the quality of care. There's really been a sensation of "let go and let God" which I am very thankful for, as it was desperately needed in my life at this time.
Holy Thursday consisted of the Girl Scout cookie fail, though other things had happened as well. After writing that I was going to put Hustla in a box, I had a long conversation with two separate friends about the entire box theory. One was trying to be supportive when it was her own time of need; she doesn't like for me to get hurt and especially with everything that happened last year, I think she's more worried about me now. I pretty much brushed off the entire topic, figuring I had written about it and thus it was done. However, I launched into another conversation with another friend of mine that night, whom used to play the Game and can appreciate it. I know I had a lot of trouble dealing with the Hustla situation to begin with, not holding all the cards as it were. He runs hot and cold at times, and I don't clearly know my role. Despite the various blunt implications I had given him, he still hadn't pulled through for me, which was tiring me more than irritating me. On Wednesday, he had been saying something cute to Habladora, and I just responded afterwards. I don't even remember what I said, to be honest. However, he asked me if I was "jealous," which spurned me to a level of unholy evil. At first, I tried to comprehend the statement; while I doubt he is trying anything with Habladora, and he really didn't say anything too avert, the fact that he would leap to the jealous comment made my head actually tilt.
After updating the second friend with this information, it was discussed whether I should put Hustla in a box or play the Game. I was told, "Play the player." Part of me wondered if I remembered how; the last time I had played true Game was when Clementine was involved, which was over a year and a half ago. After I had agreed to Hustla's terms, there was no reason for game, and I let him take the steering wheel for the past three months.
Now, I was tired.
On Holy Thursday, I went into work with a smile on my face. I was wearing one of my favorite shirts, one that I had bought with Bluejay and I felt particularly rockin' in. In fact, Hustla had seen me in that shirt and taken me out of that shirt during the snowpocalypse, so he would remember it as well. Regardless, I went into work with my lucky shirt and a smile on my face. I took my hair down for reasons unbeknownst to me (it's linked to my evil) and was helping Habladora with her computer when Hustla came in. I hardly acknowledged him; I drug a nail across his hip, watched his face go all O.o while mine stayed blank, then walked away.
I texted my friend afterwards, simply stating, "I am evil… And it is fantastic… I am an evil woman with nails. This ain't his playing field no more." All I got back was the reply, "Word! You take that field back witcha bad self!"
I strutted around the rest of the day highly amused with myself and feeling like I had conquered something. While nothing came of it, it was nice to get a reaction from him, especially when it had been pretty much one-sided for the better part of two months. I came home that night, installed rain guards on Onyx, had Dern come over for her check, and then en flambed my Girl Scout cookies. I had gotten a text from Hunny stating she wouldn't be home for Supernatural, which made me very sad. I knew Shink would be calling me afterward, so I huddled down under my Sherpa and went to watch the show.
About midway through, my cell phone went off. I had assumed it was Shink responding to something happening in the show; instead, it was Hustla with a simple "You busy".
MY GAME HAD WORKED. Bwahahahah!
Granted, nothing came of it, as Hustla's timing seems to always correspond with Shania's, but it was a small feat to be conquered. I came into work the next day with a loaded-up Onyx, another smile, and the eagerness to get to the Valley. I was back on my Game. I knew the rules again. And I had cute clothes, a bangin' sound system, and a designated driver. It was ON.
I loaded up my new car Friday morning, eager to embark on Onyx's first journey to Connecticut. While Kermit had been to Connecticut several times, Onyx hadn't had the chance to do so. Also, this would be my first time driving to Connecticut alone; for the past year, I always had someone with me to share the driving to save my poor knee. Now with Onyx's awesome cruise control, I figured I could venture and try this myself.
Kayrin had emailed me earlier in the week about the "Good-Friday-Sushi-Eating-Karaoke-Singing-Happy-Fun-Time" which made that Good Friday was going to be a Very Busy Day. Originally, the idea came to me back in January, when I had decided to go to Connecticut for Easter. As I was not seeing Shink any longer and would not be in the Valley as often, I decided to drive through the Valley, have dinner with the friends I hadn't seen, and continue North to Smurf's. My only requirement was that we had seafood, as it was Friday. The entire date happened to correspond with Hunny's birthday, but she had said it was more important to see me and that her birthday didn't matter if I was coming North.
Then I started talking to Shink again. So instead of Come Out to Dinner and See Jess btw, it's Hunny's Birthday, it was flipped to We're Going Out for Hunny's Birthday oh bee tee dubs, Jess is in the Valley. Additionally, Shink recently got promoted, which resulted in a midnight phone call about "HOW MUCH SLEEP DO YOU NEED!?!?!?!11!????" as he had wanted to get a large group together to go do karaoke.
Thus Good Friday happened.
I drove up from Baltimore, stopping at Bluejay's. We put on our matching boyfriend jackets, donned some makeup, and went out to eat hibachi. We jammed out in Bluejay's new car to my thuggin' out CD, which started a small dance partay. We ate good food, traded lots of dishes, and I caught some sort of vegetable in my mouth on the first shot because my aim is awesome. Hunny opened presents, we embarrassed her by singing loudly (and badly), and put a dragon on her head.
We swung past the house to drop off our boxes and pick up earrings, then gallivanted to downtown Bethlehem for the infamous karaoke bar. We realized that despite the length of our friendships, this would only be the second time I had been out with Caterpillar and the first time ever with Bluejay. As I had a designated driver, I proceeded to get sloshed. I ended up handing Jennie my money and said, "Just get me something not carbonated." Between shots of whiskey, red-headed sluts, and SoCo with lime, I was drinking vodka with cranberry and pineapple juices. And I was dancing and singing my butt off. During this time, as I am Jess:· had a random crayzee black chick come up and dance with me
· had the security guard come over, argue with him about the benefits of Marlboro Smooths, and proceed to check him out most of the night (both of the previous made Trips comment, "They're just flocking to you!")
· kissed most of my friends, and took pictures to prove a point
· danced with Nikki's fiancée because, hey why not
· simulated various naughty acts with Trips because again, why not
· got involved in a dance sandwich between Trips and Shink (yeah, I don't know about that one either)
· proceeded to tell too many people about my interactions with Hustla
· smacked way too many asses repeatedly
· force Caterpillar to dance because both of us were drinking more and more
· made Otter Bucket oh-so-excited and dance a lot with me
· accepted blame for "forcing" Kayrin to come to the bar instead of being in a hot tub with a Polish chick
· almost fell over because the security guard and Hustla had the same name (in retrospect, I probably did look like a crayzee white chick. I asked him what his name was, turned about, told my friends, and doubled over in laughter)
· was approached by a young white guy who wanted Hunny and I to go to a fire hall
· set Nikki's fiancée on fire with a cigarette (which was mildly ironic as he is a fireman)
· lost traction of my eyes, and thus lost my ability to hear
· rolled my eyes and gagged a lot at Bluejay and her possibly new fuck puppet
· smoked an entire pack of Reds from about 3pm to 3am, not including the other Smooths I was also smoking
· shook my bon-bon
I held onto Bluejay as we crossed the street, and we decided to go to Denny's. I had not been that drunk since my going-away partay over a year ago. Thankfully, I'm not a black-out drunk and I just tend to lose my balance; this was exemplified when I dropped my perfectly good raspberry tea into my breakfast.
Bluejay drove my very tired self to her home around 0330, we changed, and I slept in a very comfy bed with Vengeance sitting on top of my head. I woke up at 0830, cursed my daylighter-internal body clock, and tried to go back to sleep when Vengeance decided to walk over me by way of my eyeball. (No, really. He stepped on my eyelid-covered eyeball with his back foot.) Then alarms started going off, Batman was knocking on doors, and I had to drive to Connecticut with only a couple hours of sleep and sore knees and feet.
Alas, I made it in the Awesome Onyx of Awesome and am currently sitting in Smurf's spa. She decided to get a massage, while I'll be having my cards read as a general sense of standard operations. Then we'll go to Metal Darts' house, where Smurf has set up her own massage table and I will be given an "official massage." After last night, I definitely need it. There will be Wii later, and tomorrow is Bunny Day, so all of Smurf's relatives will come over and I'll be the second tallest and responsible for getting dishes out of top cabinets. Afterward, I'll drive back through the Valley, hopefully see Jennie and update her on what has been happening for the past three months, then gallivant back to Baltimore.
I cannot continue to be thankful for the year 2010. As rough and unproductive as 2009, this year has simplified and made myself feel so much more full of life…
… and I continue to be thankful to be able to have good loving friends surround me, and that life never ceases to amaze me.