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writerx75 April 17 2011, 14:29:12 UTC
Yay! So nice to see more writing from you posted. :D And what a nice little piece of conflicted longing and angst. I really like how you describe Shuhei's mental argument, and how you described Rangiku's smile as a little sad, because that's how I always see it, too. But the punchline of the story was so frustratingly devastating. ;_; Very well done piece, and it's really nice to see you writing again!

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jazz_trousers April 17 2011, 14:33:35 UTC
Thanks ^__^ I know, I'm so happy I managed to overcome my writer's block, it feels great to write again! *twirls*

Poor, poor Shuhei. And poor Rangiku. Poor all of them.

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ichibanseiken April 20 2011, 22:37:16 UTC
You wrote! And it was good! Actually, you compressed so much into so little space I feel inspired to work toward that, too. Shorter is harder for me. The punchline was awful. OMG what a way to fuck up three people at once, Gin! And the way you interspersed Shuuhei's internal dialogue with external was very well done, it had a frantic, drunk feel to it yet it had good flow, too.

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jazz_trousers April 21 2011, 16:58:11 UTC
Thanks so much!! I am proud of this little piece, I have to say. My writer's block was getting me down. I always tend to lean towards short when I write.

You're the second person to use the word "punchline", I'm not sure if I like that or not, it makes the whole thing sound like some sick, terrible joke, which is very fitting for our beloved Gin and his legacy. Hm...

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ichibanseiken April 21 2011, 17:19:19 UTC
I used the word "punchline" whilst influenced by your other reviewer. Really, the fic was nice and sexy and had a fuzzy feeling until I got to the very end and my stomach flipped in a sick kind of way. It's certainly a startling revelation of the way Shuuhei thinks and what's his "button", but it's far from funny.

Again, well done :-)

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