A Quiet Word
Every single word of the following is szm's fault. Me, I wanted to work on Reclaiming Camelot, but noooo, Certain People had to ambush me with vampiric plot-bunnies. Nasty things! Anyway, blame her, not me. I is innocent and blameless. Truly.
Title: A Quiet Word
Characters: Jack and Ten
Disclaimer: Despite my attempts, they are still in the death grip of the BBC and RTD.
Rating: Um, PG for some inferences.
Spoilers: Only for the Jack/Ianto relationship
"Can I have a quiet word with you, Jack?"
Jack turned to give the Doctor a curious look. There was an odd note in the Time Lord's voice. Almost like he was annoyed about something. A look at his face confirmed the suspicion that something had ticked him off. That and the fact that he had his arms folded made Jack drop the report he had been reading and pay attention.
Truth be told, he was still recovering from the discovery that Ianto was the great great great grandson of the Doctor, had been born far into the future and had become stranded in the 21st century after he had had a blazing row with the Doctor while he had been travelling with him. The reunion had been an emotional one and there was still the very strong possibility that Ianto was going to leave with the Doctor when he finally decided to push off. Since Jack had been looking forward to picking up where he had left off with his relationship with Ianto that was something Jack wasn't looking forward to at all.
"What can I do for you, Doc?" Jack asked when the Doctor hesitated and seemed to be choosing his next words.
"I've been catching up with Ianto on what's been happening to him since I left him behind," the Doctor said eventually. He sighed. "It doesn't sound like life has been particularly rosy for him. I must confess I nearly had a double heart attack when I found out he had been in Canary Wharf when the Cybermen and Daleks turned up." He shivered and Jack nodded sympathetically.
"He survived, though," he offered. "And coming here meant that he was around for you to find."
"Ah, yes, that's where we come to the matter I wanted to raise with you, Jack," the Doctor said severely.
"We do?" Jack had a very bad feeling about this.
"Yes. As I said, we were talking and Ianto became a little strained when he got to the part about coming to Cardiff. He seemed especially leery of talking about you, which naturally raised my interest, because you didn't strike me as being the kind of person who'd turn away someone like Ianto."
Oh Lord, Jack thought. Ianto, please tell me you kept your mouth shut!
"I pride myself on being quite good at finding out things," the Doctor continued pensively, "and I have the advantage of knowing Ianto quite well, having seen him more or less grow up. It didn't take me long to find out what happened."
"It- it didn't?" Jack inquired nervously, wondering if he was going to find out the hard way that the Doctor had been lying when he had said that he didn't know what would kill Jack.
"No," the Doctor said shortly, "it didn't." He fixed Jack with one of his most severe looks. "It has come to my attention that there have been.... shenanigans."
"She-shenanigans?" Jack said weakly. He had to admit, he'd never heard it described in quite that way before.
"Shenanigans," the Doctor repeated firmly. "Unprincipled shenanigans."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," Jack said faintly.
"I would," the Doctor shot back. "When Ianto finally gave in and gave me the details-"
"What?" Jack said in a strangled shriek.
The Doctor paused and gave him a reproving look. "Well, naturally I demanded details," he sniffed. "Good grief, what kind of great-great-great grandfather do you take me for?"
"A perverted one, from the sounds of things," Jack muttered, running a hand across his face and wondering why it was suddenly so hot.
"I hardly think you're in a position to make a value judgement like that, Jack Harkness," the Doctor said with a snort. "Anyway, when I got the details-"
"Hey, hang on a moment, it wasn't exactly a one-way street here," Jack complained. "Ianto didn't put up all of that of a fight!"
"I hardly see how he could have, given the circumstances! Really, Jack, I can't see how you would have expected him to fight back."
Jack stared at him blankly, frantically trying to remember the exact circumstances surrounding the first time he had got Ianto into bed. He didn't remember his being all that overbearing. In fact, he was pretty certain that he had been downright sensual and seductive! He felt a justified sense of outrage and wondered if Ianto had decided to get a little payback in for the fact that Jack hadn't exactly been the most consistent of lovers. Well, two could play at dirty pool.
"I think you'll find that your great-great whatever grandson has been playing fast and loose with the truth, Doc," he said crisply. "In fact, I'd go so far as to say he's been lying through his teeth."
"Are you telling me that you deny that you and he-"
"Hell, no," Jack said flippantly. "He and I went at it like a pair of demented rabbits at every and any opportunity, but I'll be damned if he pulls the outraged virgin act and pretends that it was all my fault!" He belatedly realised that the Doctor had raised a hand and was staring at him with a shellshocked expression on his face. "What?"
"Excuse me... 'went at it like a pair of demented rabbits'?" he said faintly.
Jack made an impatient noise. "That's 20th century slang for having sex, Doc."
"I know that!" the Doctor snapped. "What I want to know is what that had to do with what we were talking about!"
"What we-" Now it was Jack's turn to stare. "What the hell are you talking about? You were ripping a ream off me about having a sexual relationship with Ianto!" He realised that the Doctor was looking even more bemused. "Weren't you?"
"No! I was talking about the time you put a gun to Ianto's head and threatened to execute him!" the Doctor spluttered. A distinctly martial look crept into his eye and he planted his hands on his hips. "Although now that you've mentioned it, just what the hell are your intentions towards my great great great grandson?"
Title: A Quiet Word
Characters: Jack and Ten
Disclaimer: Despite my attempts, they are still in the death grip of the BBC and RTD.
Rating: Um, PG for some inferences.
Spoilers: Only for the Jack/Ianto relationship
"Can I have a quiet word with you, Jack?"
Jack turned to give the Doctor a curious look. There was an odd note in the Time Lord's voice. Almost like he was annoyed about something. A look at his face confirmed the suspicion that something had ticked him off. That and the fact that he had his arms folded made Jack drop the report he had been reading and pay attention.
Truth be told, he was still recovering from the discovery that Ianto was the great great great grandson of the Doctor, had been born far into the future and had become stranded in the 21st century after he had had a blazing row with the Doctor while he had been travelling with him. The reunion had been an emotional one and there was still the very strong possibility that Ianto was going to leave with the Doctor when he finally decided to push off. Since Jack had been looking forward to picking up where he had left off with his relationship with Ianto that was something Jack wasn't looking forward to at all.
"What can I do for you, Doc?" Jack asked when the Doctor hesitated and seemed to be choosing his next words.
"I've been catching up with Ianto on what's been happening to him since I left him behind," the Doctor said eventually. He sighed. "It doesn't sound like life has been particularly rosy for him. I must confess I nearly had a double heart attack when I found out he had been in Canary Wharf when the Cybermen and Daleks turned up." He shivered and Jack nodded sympathetically.
"He survived, though," he offered. "And coming here meant that he was around for you to find."
"Ah, yes, that's where we come to the matter I wanted to raise with you, Jack," the Doctor said severely.
"We do?" Jack had a very bad feeling about this.
"Yes. As I said, we were talking and Ianto became a little strained when he got to the part about coming to Cardiff. He seemed especially leery of talking about you, which naturally raised my interest, because you didn't strike me as being the kind of person who'd turn away someone like Ianto."
Oh Lord, Jack thought. Ianto, please tell me you kept your mouth shut!
"I pride myself on being quite good at finding out things," the Doctor continued pensively, "and I have the advantage of knowing Ianto quite well, having seen him more or less grow up. It didn't take me long to find out what happened."
"It- it didn't?" Jack inquired nervously, wondering if he was going to find out the hard way that the Doctor had been lying when he had said that he didn't know what would kill Jack.
"No," the Doctor said shortly, "it didn't." He fixed Jack with one of his most severe looks. "It has come to my attention that there have been.... shenanigans."
"She-shenanigans?" Jack said weakly. He had to admit, he'd never heard it described in quite that way before.
"Shenanigans," the Doctor repeated firmly. "Unprincipled shenanigans."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," Jack said faintly.
"I would," the Doctor shot back. "When Ianto finally gave in and gave me the details-"
"What?" Jack said in a strangled shriek.
The Doctor paused and gave him a reproving look. "Well, naturally I demanded details," he sniffed. "Good grief, what kind of great-great-great grandfather do you take me for?"
"A perverted one, from the sounds of things," Jack muttered, running a hand across his face and wondering why it was suddenly so hot.
"I hardly think you're in a position to make a value judgement like that, Jack Harkness," the Doctor said with a snort. "Anyway, when I got the details-"
"Hey, hang on a moment, it wasn't exactly a one-way street here," Jack complained. "Ianto didn't put up all of that of a fight!"
"I hardly see how he could have, given the circumstances! Really, Jack, I can't see how you would have expected him to fight back."
Jack stared at him blankly, frantically trying to remember the exact circumstances surrounding the first time he had got Ianto into bed. He didn't remember his being all that overbearing. In fact, he was pretty certain that he had been downright sensual and seductive! He felt a justified sense of outrage and wondered if Ianto had decided to get a little payback in for the fact that Jack hadn't exactly been the most consistent of lovers. Well, two could play at dirty pool.
"I think you'll find that your great-great whatever grandson has been playing fast and loose with the truth, Doc," he said crisply. "In fact, I'd go so far as to say he's been lying through his teeth."
"Are you telling me that you deny that you and he-"
"Hell, no," Jack said flippantly. "He and I went at it like a pair of demented rabbits at every and any opportunity, but I'll be damned if he pulls the outraged virgin act and pretends that it was all my fault!" He belatedly realised that the Doctor had raised a hand and was staring at him with a shellshocked expression on his face. "What?"
"Excuse me... 'went at it like a pair of demented rabbits'?" he said faintly.
Jack made an impatient noise. "That's 20th century slang for having sex, Doc."
"I know that!" the Doctor snapped. "What I want to know is what that had to do with what we were talking about!"
"What we-" Now it was Jack's turn to stare. "What the hell are you talking about? You were ripping a ream off me about having a sexual relationship with Ianto!" He realised that the Doctor was looking even more bemused. "Weren't you?"
"No! I was talking about the time you put a gun to Ianto's head and threatened to execute him!" the Doctor spluttered. A distinctly martial look crept into his eye and he planted his hands on his hips. "Although now that you've mentioned it, just what the hell are your intentions towards my great great great grandson?"