Harry Potter and the Uneventful Year When No One Tried To Kill Him
"Oi, Harry, how've you been all summer? We haven't seen you since last school year!" Ron, Harry's copper-haired best friend since first year, clapped him hard about the shoulders and grinned in a way fit to split his ears.
"Harry, I'm so glad you're safe, I've been so worried! I've been reading up on ways to keep you safe all year, and I think I've figured it out!" Hermione, Harry's less-bushy-haired-than-expected ginger-haired best friend flung herself at him with all her might, wrapping her arms about him in a tight hug.
"I can't believe we're in our final year...what d'you suppose we've got in store for us this time round?" Harry grinned back, his friends' enthusiasm infectious despite the normal fits of extreme moodiness and jerkism to which he was prone in recent time.
"Well, Ron and I have been talking, and we're really worried about you, especially after last year," Hermione began, hesitantly.
"I appreciate your concern, but I'd have thought I'd proven to you that I'm perfectly capable of handling myself at this point in time," Harry retorted stiffly, anger rising.
"You see, that's exactly what we're talking about," Hermione shouted, her own anger rising to match his. "We're tired of you shouting at us all the time."
Ron, for his part, cowered a bit, staring as resolutely as he could at Harry, but looking incredibly guilty all the while.
Harry looked back and forth between Ron and Hermione in disbelief. "So what exactly are you saying?"
"We're saying PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" Hermione drew her wand out of her sleeve quickly, petrified Harry, and shoved him in a handy nearby ensorcelled cedar portable on-demand storage device.
Ron grabbed the front of the POD and began nailing it shut. He then nodded brusquely at Hermione. "All clear," he said.
"We bind you from doing harm, Harry. Harm against others, and harm against yourself." Hermione chanted a few times, concentrating on the muffled yelping and pounding coming from inside the POD.
"You'd think he'd be more grateful. Honestly, we plan on feeding you. We just want to keep you safe. What's going to happen to you when you're stuck in a cedar closet all year? You won't even have to worry about moths!" Ron laughed.
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And so, seventh year wasn't quite what anyone had imagined at all. Harry Potter, distance learner from a portable cedar closet in Gryffindor Tower, learnt a whole lot about patience---and a whole lot about wanting revenge.
more later. almost time to leaaaave~~~!