Smutty fics ahead!
Hiyaall! I'm currently visiting my parents and going out a lot. I feel kinda weird writing fics here because my parents have a tendency to burst into my room to announce something of great importance - like how American Idol is on so I have to watch it right now or how I must have these amazing cookies right now, right after lunch.
In any case, I managed to write this piece of shameless smutty porn in bits and pieces. This started out at cherrybina 's Arthur/Eames Ass Worship Fest and continued to grow when futureperfect caps locked at me with enthusiasm. :)
My next fic will be titled Two Thumbs Up. After that, I'll work on editing the nearly 30k words monster. Then...I'll get to read the bigbang fics. ;__;
Fic: Why Allowing Eames To Talk In Bed Is A Bad Idea and Why Betting Eames That He Can't Seduce His Way Into The White House Is A Bad Idea - Or A Really Good One
Author: J
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: What's the rating for filthy dirty porn? NC-17?
Word Count: 5,203 in total (according to Google docs, since I don't have MS Words on this old laptop)
Warning: Profanity, unbetaed (should I get porn betaed?), kinky stuff including restraints and some form of voyeurism. I don't have the time to go over it in great detail so I apologise in advance for inevitable mistakes.
Summary: Arthur is the subject of Eames' creativity in bed.
Note: The titles have not much to do with the fics sadly. But they set an idea of what will happen and what has happened.
Why Allowing Eames To Talk In Bed Is A Bad Idea
Eames didn't understand it. How was Arthur's bum so ridiculously round and perky? It shouldn't be possible on someone as thin as Arthur, with so little flesh to spare. For all that he had a lean and angular body, Mother Nature decided to bless Arthur with the sort of backside some women would go a bra size down to attain.
But here it was, completely bare in bed, smooth and firm and on display just for Eames. He might be a very bad man but he must have done something tremendously good to be given this magnificent arse.
"Are you just going to stare?" asked Arthur irritably, voice slightly muffled by the pillow.
Eames murmured, "Hush now, darling. Give me this moment of gratitude that such wonders exist."
"Could you be a little more hands on in your gratitude?"
"Your wish is my-" and then he was swooping down to bite on one delectable arse cheek.
It wasn't a hard bite but Arthur let out a small cry of surprise, which spurred Eames to take the fleshy bit between his teeth, tongue pressing against the skin. Arthur muffled his next cry against the pillow which wouldn't do at all.
Slowly, Eames drew back, licking the reddened skin affectionately. He palmed Arthur's arse, relishing in how the squeezable cheeks were such a handful. He bent down and bit at the crease where the curve of Arthur's bum met with his thigh. Then he held on to those hips and pulled them backwards, positioning Arthur on his knees. The thinner man began swearing at the loss of friction against the bed.
Murmuring nonsense soothing words, Eames obligingly stroked Arthur's prick with one hand while still massaging half his bum with his other hand. It was a very lovely cock as well. Long and hard in Eames' hand, already so greedy and needy with how wet the tip was. If Eames wasn't enjoying the view from the back so much, he would turn Arthur over and give the wanton prick a kiss. Maybe mouth at the head a little to make Arthur cry out again.
But he had told himself that tonight was about Arthur's arse and he was not going to abandon his goal so quickly. It was Arthur's fault for strutting around in those well-fitted pants that loved him so.
Idly, Eames pressed a thumb between those rounded cheeks, parting them and grazing against Arthur's hole. He could see Arthur's hands bunching up the sheets desperately, his prick jerking in Eames' rough hand piteously.
With such a lovely behind, Arthur should really wear something to showcase it even better in bed. Like a pair of T-back briefs. The thought caused him to rub roughly against Arthur's twitching arsehole while his own cock pressed urgently against his zipper.
Imagine, a pair of silk T-back underwear. Ooh, what a sight. Silky black framing Arthur's smooth pale skin, delineating the perfectly symmetrical cheeks. The lace would be rough against Eames' hands as he manhandled Arthur into this exact position. He would rub against Arthur just like this, but it would be through the lace-edged silk and Arthur would be louder with his moans. Then he would rub a thumb in circles around Arthur's desperate prick, but through the damp silk instead, edging the head out the top of the panties so that he could press the sensitive crown against the lace as well and Arthur would cry out like this too, but maybe louder, and wouldn't it feel so good, Arthur...
Arthur gasped, "Eames, Eames, next time, you motherfucker. Next time! Now would you just fuck me?!"
Oh, he didn't realise that he had been running his mouth. Well, well...Eames smirked.
"Your wish is my-"
END
Why Betting Eames That He Can't Seduce His Way Into The White House Is A Bad Idea - Or A Really Good One
Arthur, in silk underthings, was currently spread out on bed with his hard-on barely contained by the skimpy thing. And he wanted to touch himself but Eames, the fucker, had decided to combine his kinks and had Arthur's wrists handcuffed to the iron bed frame. So Arthur could only glare bitchily while Eames circled the bed, sighing with expressive pleasure.
"You're so gorgeous I'm not sure how I'll survive this."
"Come a little closer and I'll show you why you won't," threatened Arthur.
And then he wriggled because he couldn't help it. Fuck, he needed more feeling against his dick right now and the silky fabric was a tease but not enough to bring him off, fuckfuckfuck...
"In a moment, darling. Let me go get the camera first."
Arthur glared up at the ceiling, swearing to himself that when Eames got back, he was going to strangle him with his thighs.
It felts like at least fifteen minutes later before Eames deigned to return. "Arthur, I had a better idea! I found my webcam!"
Opening his eyes, Arthur turned to see Eames setting up his laptop and webcam on the table that he had pulled nearer and to the side of the bed.
"What the fuck, Eames."
Eames beamed at him in the middle of his set up. "Why take a photo when I can take a video? This will tide me through those dry spells when we're not on the same continent."
Arthur gritted his teeth and yanked on the cuffs. "No, Eames. No. You will not fucking video-"
His swearing was cut off by Eames' warm hand enveloping his flagging erection - fifteen minutes was a fucking long wait - through the silky underwear. Eames gave him an encouraging squeeze, helpfully fondling him into hardness and rubbing him with exquisite familiarity. The motherfucker was actually humming.
"Can't start recording if you're not displaying your best yet, can we?" said Eames idly.
Then he reached up and pinched Arthur's right nipple as well and Arthur was just arching up, trying to get more of Eames' hands on him as he made incoherent noises.
Eames let go and moved back. "Oh, we should save that for the recording."
"You fucking asshole, get the fuck back here!!" shouted Arthur.
But Eames was fiddling with the computer now, ignoring his own hard-on in his tight jeans.
Suddenly, Eames looked up and said thoughtfully, "I just had another excellent idea. What if we had someone watch instead?"
Arthur stared. "What?"
"There's this amateur porn website that allows you to stream live. The more hits and dildo-approvals you get, the higher up the ranks you get and if you're really good, you're featured on the front page for the time you're streaming." (1)
"What...what the fuck? How do you even know these things?? Don't fucking tell me you record yourself for this!"
"Only myself jerking off, but that isn't as interesting as this," said Eames modestly. "So, which would you prefer, Arthur? A recording for my own collection or a live streaming for everyone?"
Arthur started shouting, "Neither, you fucker! Turn that damn thing off!"
Eames smiled. "Live streaming it is!"
"No, Eames, pay attention. This is a security risk. I'm a career criminal. I can't have my face all over some porn website! You can't have your face all over one!"
"Oh darling, have some faith. I've done this before after all. Look at the laptop screen, you can see that your face is definitely not within the frame. Neither will mine be."
Arthur stared at the screen and could see that the webcam was angled in a way to capture his body from the side diagonally, the view only showing from his shoulders to his knees. Eames was sitting on the bed, putting a hand on Arthur's thigh and nudging it to splay wider.
"Alright?" Eames asked, watching him intensely.
Arthur bit his lip and then said harshly, "This was not what I signed up for when I agreed to the underwear and the cuffs."
Eames smiled. "Improvisation has always been my strong point. Now..." Then he repeated his one word question seriously. "Alright?"
Turning away, Arthur growled, "If you don't bring me off in the next ten minutes-"
"They only allow ten minutes of video anyway," said Eames brightly, reaching out to turn the streaming on. "The sound is turned on by the way."
Then Eames was coming around to sit between his spread legs, his head cut off by the webcam frame, Arthur noted. He pressed both palms against Arthur's straining dick that was pushing indecently against the thin, dark material. Spreading his fingers and smoothing down the hard length, it was like he was showcasing Arthur's hard-on for the camera.
Arthur made an aborted sound of pleasure, stopping himself from gasping Eames' name.
Eames smiled, as if he knew what Arthur had been about to do.
"Think about all the people watching as I do this, darling. They all wish they were the ones here, between your lovely thighs and massaging this wanton cock, while you're tied down at my mercy."
Groaning, Arthur pressed his heated face against his arm, his dick leaping in Eames' hands. There was no way the other man didn't feel that. And the asshole said that on purpose. He was setting up the scene for their audience and Arthur couldn't believe that he was finding this so fucking hot, his nipples tightening in almost painful arousal.
Excruciatingly slow, Eames lowered the slip of silk just a little bit and inched Arthur's painfully hard dick out from the top of the underwear. Just the head of his dick was peeking out from the smooth material and the feeling of air against his skin was causing his breath to come faster, chest to start heaving.
It looked obscene on that little screen, all that expense of bared skin, with his flushed dark head of his penis pointing to his stomach and mostly still trapped by the underwear.
Arthur couldn't look away.
And Eames started to fucking talk. "You're so beautiful like this. Spread your legs a little wider...that's my boy. So gorgeous and everyone thinks the same. All these people watching, tracing this beautiful stretch of skin with their eyes, oh if only they could touch you like this."
He was stroking as he talked, drawing a hand up those parted thighs and up Arthur's side. The idea that there were people following the same lazy trail with their eyes caused Arthur to flush, dig his toes into the bed to keep from thrusting his hips upwards. Those always-moving fingers pinched at his nipples almost idly, causing him to arch his back without thinking and muffle a groan by biting on his lower lip.
"If only they had someone so responsive to play with. What do you think they want to see now, pet? I don't think this little hint here is enough," murmured Eames as he pressed two fingers against the exposed head of Arthur's dick.
Then the bastard started rubbing the tiny lace at the edge of the underwear against Arthur's dick. The rough lace rasped over and over against the tip of his penis and Arthur couldn't keep from crying out.
"What do you think our two hundred viewers want to see?" asked Eames again, hands never stopping.
"Wha-" Arthur gasped, opening his eyes to stare at the screen and Eames was rounding up but that was definitely an insanely high number of viewers sitting on their video now. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
"No, that would be skipping to the main course before having our appetizer. Surely they want something else."
The constant drag against his erection was driving him crazy. The underwear was getting damp now from his leaking hard-on and he was feeling over-stimulated, rolling his hips uncontrollably as he tried to make Eames do more of something, anything!
Eames murmured, "How about you coming? Do you think they want to see that, pet? Do you think all those eyes are just waiting for this lovely cock to jerk and engorge and spill your precious semen all over your waiting bare skin? Maybe they want to see you come all over your panties, get yourself dirty so that I'll have to take it off and they can see everything as you lie there, spent and panting?"
"They're not panties!" protested Arthur, only to bite off his words as Eames squeezed his dick, almost giving him enough friction to just come already.
"Would you like to try again?" asked Eames pleasantly.
He couldn't take it anymore. He felt fevered and looking at the laptop and seeing his own body gyrating desperately into Eames' hands just drove him all the more crazy.
Arthur gasped out, barely knowing what he was saying, "Please, please, please, just let me-"
His eyes flew back from the screen to Eames as all of a sudden something buzzed against his painful arousal. He barely took in the view of Eames holding a vibrator to his exposed dick before he was crying out, back arching and just coming so hard he could feel pulse after pulse splattering against his skin and Eames' hand never stopped milking him, drawing out the fucking fantastic release, with the buzzing dildo still pressed against him.
He made a sound of protest when it felt too much and Eames gently patted his half-hard dick as his body collapsed back onto the bed.
"Magnificent," said Eames, proud.
"Fucking crazy," said Arthur, shell-shocked.
Strung out on the bed with limbs still shaking from the sudden orgasm, Arthur struggled to catch his breath. He hadn't been staring up at the ceiling for more than ten seconds when Eames was coming around and un-cuffing his wrists from the bedposts.
"Wha...Are we done?" he slurred.
Eames smiled at him, bending over to give him a gentle kiss. He nipped at Arthur's lower lip before pulling back.
"Of course not, darling. We still have six minutes left of footage to go."
Then he was rolling Arthur over onto his front. Grunting as his sensitive dick and nipples pressed against the mattress, Arthur stared in befuddlement as Eames cuffed him to the posts again. He tugged at his wrists without thought, the restraint against his wrists and the feel of the rough velvet against his skin making him curl his toes in quiet pleasure. He would never have agreed to the bet if he didn't actually like being held in place, not that Eames needed to know that.
Trust the asshole to push it several levels further by introducing all kinds of fucking crazy things to the bed when Arthur actually lost the bet.
While he was distracted with his muzzy thoughts, Eames returned to his position between his legs.
He murmured, "Watch the screen, pet."
Arthur ducked his head and turned to the side slowly, looking to the laptop. Fuck, there were nearly 400 viewers now. And...and fucking hell, the way his ass was displayed on the webcam was ridiculously obscene. Eames had picked a T-back underwear and his ass was completely exposed except for that strip of cloth disappearing between his cheeks. The dark cloth seemed to accentuate the revealed flesh more so than if he was just completely bare.
Now Eames was running his fingers gently along the line of the cloth. When Arthur shivered, he hummed appreciatively and pressed both hands against Arthur's pale ass. He began squeezing and massaging, leaning his weight firmly on his palms.
Arthur let out a surprised 'ah'. Because it felt good.
Not good in a 'ah, I'm going to come again, improbable as it seems' way. But more good in a 'I have not had my ass massaged before and my muscles are liquefying please never stop' way. Though from the way his cock was valiantly twitching, it might head the first way eventually.
It looked ridiculously dirty on screen, the rhythmic pressing and squeezing of Eames' wide hands.
Eames commented idly, "The viewers are increasing quite quickly even though we're not doing anything very naughty right now. I do believe it's a testament to your amazing arse, darling."
"Shut up and keep doing that," muttered Arthur, half into the pillow even as he eyeballed the numbers on the screen.
He grunted at a particularly strong squeeze of Eames' hands.
The forger continued talking casually, "I do believe we should reward their good behavior. If our viewership reaches five hundred, I'll put the dildo into this lovely behind for them."
Arthur gritted his teeth even as his dick rather improbably started to harden again at the thought of being fucked on camera.
"You are a motherfucking menace and I'm going to-"
"You're going to?"
Arthur had cut himself off when Eames had pulled the back of his underwear hard. It constricted around his growing hard-on and it was almost painful. Almost. He gasped and when Eames continued tugging, he found himself getting up on his knees. He shifted his hands so that he could grip the iron curlicue between the bedposts and keep himself stretched out and balanced.
"What the fuck-"
And then he looked at the screen in time to see Eames running a finger beneath his underwear, a gentle touch down his crack to his hole. He twitched at the ticklish touch, noting that it was wet.
"When did you even have time to get lube?" asked Arthur almost plaintively, watching like he was hypnotized by the stroking fingers on screen.
"You were just so distracted you didn't notice I had it here all along," said Eames, which was a filthy, filthy lie.
He felt himself shudder as he continued watching. It felt strange to have his dick pressed so tightly by his underwear. And it looked obscene beyond belief that Eames was holding his underwear to the side while his other hand was beginning this teasing push into his anus.
Arthur clenched his fists as the first finger went all the way in, a slippery slide that made him feel strange and full.
Eames murmured, "My darling slut, already opening up for a good finger fuck."
Fuck, watching Eames as he began thrusting with that finger...it was driving him mad. He couldn't help moving his hips to the same rhythm, pushing back against the penetration.
"I thought," he gasped. "I thought you were...going to wait. Until the viewers..."
Then he bit down on a moan as Eames poured more oily lube down his crack and started pushing two fingers in instead.
"Oh yes, the dildo is for when we reach five hundred viewers. The fingers are just to get you ready," explained Eames helpfully.
He punctuated the last word with a rough thrust, scraping against his prostate.
Arthur whimpered, pushing back as he watched the screen from under his stretched arm with lidded eyes. It felt so fucking good and it looked just as good. Eames was making sure that the webcam had a clear view of his fingers thrusting into him and he could see the hint of the bulge in his underwear from his overly interested hard-on. He knew he was leaking, dick drooling to come already. He hadn't gotten hard so soon after an orgasm since...well, since the last time Eames came up with another crazy idea in bed.
Of course, Eames couldn't stop talking and that beautiful voice wrapped around those dirty words was zinging through his veins and pouring into his arousal.
"Look at this greedy little pert bum. You wish we have five hundred viewers already, don't you? You want something bigger in you, just drilling in and opening your hole wide. You want everyone to watch and know what a wanton slut you are and how you just want to be fucked over and over again."
He didn't even realize he was moaning until Eames stopped talking for awhile.
The forger noted with obvious glee, "Will you look at that? People love your gorgeous behind so much. We're getting solid ten dildo-approvals and recommendations everywhere."
"How do you even know these things?" asked Arthur blearily, fixated on the image they painted on screen.
"Oh, I set up some notifications. Have to keep track of how well you do, of course."
Then Eames twisted his fingers and Arthur's chest was heaving, short on breath at how good that felt.
"Fuck, fuck, come on, hurry up, you have to-" He was babbling a nonsensical string of words and he didn't care.
And Eames was obligingly adding one more finger and he was so stretched out now, he could see how stretched out he was too and it looked impossible, it looked so fucking hot.
Eames was thrusting hard now and Arthur was just grunting, little 'uh' sounds as he felt his erection harden, knowing that he was getting close, if Eames would just, just...
And then the fucker removed his fingers.
Arthur started swearing. He had no idea what he was saying for awhile there but he tuned in to a continuous chant of, "Nononononono you can't fucking stop, put them back now, you fucker!"
"Oh sweetheart," Eames all but purred. "But we've reached five hundred viewers.
Arthur's knuckles went white, his hands holding him up in a mindless death grip while his breath came in faster and shorter.
On the webcam viewer, Eames' hands were slicking up a dildo above his bare bottom. The thin underwear against his sensitive and lubed hole felt almost uncomfortable and at the same time, like an unbearable tease. He shifted against the feeling, his hard-on straining as well in the scrap of silky material.
Eames didn't seem to be in any hurry. The way he was slowly rubbing oil onto the dildo, it was like he expected the vibrator to be capable of ejaculation any moment now. His fingers were efficient in applying liberal lubrication but they were definitely caressing the phallus as well, jerking it off slowly with precise motions.
Arthur gritted out, "Are you done fucking that thing?"
"Is your hole feeling empty and lonely again?" asked Eames.
As if to punctuate the question, he began trailing the lubed dildo along Arthur's crack, pressing against him through the underwear. Arthur made a muffled groan, shifting his hips impatiently. He could hardly stand this never ending tease.
Eames stroked his side soothingly and pulled the back of his underwear up again.
"Take it off," demanded Arthur, feeling divided over the constriction around his arousal.
"You're usually so slow to take off your designer menswear but now you want me to take off your Armani panties already? Seems a shame, darling," said Eames, ignoring his wishes as usual. "I think we can do this with your underwear still on, can't we?"
Shifting the underwear to the side, he started to push the slick dildo against Arthur's exposed hole. It felt huge, much larger than three fingers. The steady intrusion made him squirm, wanting to push against it and wanting to be fucked right now.
"Relax a little, love. You know you're used to bigger things." Eames chuckled. "You usually beg for bigger things than this."
"Sorry, but your dick is tiny compared to this," lied Arthur shamelessly, his hips now shifting back against the steady force.
"That's not what you said last night," murmured Eames.
"Fucking liar-"
And then Eames pushed the vibrator all the way in. Arthur gasped, feeling pinned in place. Eames tilted the vibrator upwards and it brushed unerringly against Arthur's prostate, sending him into a paroxysm of shudders.
Eames murmured, "Are you watching?"
Arthur pried his eyes open, hadn't realized he had even closed them. He turned his head a little, watching as Eames started to draw the vibrator out. It stretched the underwear that was pushed aside, pulling tighter around his erection. He whimpered when it was thrust back in, hitting his prostate and causing his back to arch. He couldn't believe how slutty he looked, the way he was shoving back against the vibrator with every quick thrust.
But he couldn't help it. He felt so fucking full and it felt so good every time the vibrator pressed against him. They looked filthy hot on the screen and Arthur couldn't stop the repeated 'ah' dripping from his lips with the occasional 'fuck'. He didn't sound like a porn star, he sounded like a needy slut being fucked the way he liked it.
His balls were tight against him, so desperate to come. He tossed his head, moaning louder.
"That's a beautiful boy. All these men and women out there are just watching your greedy little pucker pulling this toy in and squeezing around it, imagining it's your beautiful arse that they're getting a go at. But it's all mine, isn't it? They wish they could be the one stuffing you full, shoving in again and again and maybe coming all over you but I'm the only one taking you and you like it, don't you?"
Arthur was no longer coherent enough to answer him. His mouth was open with his breathless pants, loose with his whimpers of pleasure.
Then Eames stopped the movement.
He whined and shoved back. He was so, so close...
Eames obligingly pushed in again, pressing right up against his prostate.
He murmured nonsensically. "One more minute."
The continuous pressure was too much and Arthur squirmed, almost wanting to get away. Then the dildo started vibrating.
He cried out, shocked, and vision going out. The last image burned into the back of his lids was the one from the laptop; his body arching impossibly and pushing back against Eames' hand that was holding the vibrator in place. Eames pushed the vibrator in harder and the vibrations seemed to intensify, to take him apart from the inside with burning pleasure. It felt too good, his blood was boiling, he couldn't-
"Darling, come for me please," murmured Eames, low and husky with desire.
The words hooked deep into the pit of his tense stomach, curling around the vibrating white-hot pleasure inside of him and he was coming. He fell apart at his seams, the ecstasy just exploding from his spine and his veins and he knew he was just crying out over and over again...
He opened his eyes.
Arthur had no idea how much time had passed. His hands ached from the tight grip he had on the iron decoration at the head of the bed. His knees were parted further than before, thighs burning at the stretch. They were trembling, barely supporting him up anymore. In fact, he just realized Eames had a hand holding him up by the waist. His underwear was tacky, some of his stomach a bit wet from what seemed like a copious amount of come.
Fuck, he hadn't come from penetration alone in years. He wasn't young enough to do such shit anymore, his whole body still trembling from the release.
A sudden short vibration from the dildo caused him to cry out hoarsely, his body over-sensitive. Eames made soothing sounds of apology as the vibration stopped and he pulled the vibrator out slowly. Arthur's body clenched against the emptiness, unused to not having the thick phallus penetrating him anymore.
He felt the bed shift as Eames moved towards the laptop.
"And that's a wrap, loyal followers," said Eames as he turned off the webcam and shut the laptop.
Arthur let go off his grip on the curlicue and found himself slumping further down, held up only by the cuffs now. His dick felt sore from the two orgasms and the still tight underwear around him.
"Take it off," he muttered.
Eames was quick to come around and uncuff him, turning him over gently onto his back. Arthur's weak hands pushed ineffectually at the underwear and Eames eased it off his hips and down his legs.
"That was magnificent. A lovely work of delectable art," complimented Eames sincerely.
He was wiping Arthur down with a wet cloth that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Eames was a veritable treasure box of essential items for kinky sex and its aftermath. Ridiculously, he patted Arthur's now clean and soft dick fondly.
"You're not fucking me," slurred Arthur, when he noticed Eames' heavy bulge in his jeans.
"Maybe later," said Eames kindly, stripping down to his boxers and lying down on the bed with Arthur. He inched nearer shamelessly.
Arthur was far too exhausted to protest the bastard's proximity so Eames successfully curled up around him, snugging his own hard-on up against Arthur's thigh. While Arthur expected to be humped while he lay there near comatose, Eames actually behaved himself and just lay still. He seemed happy to be wrapped around Arthur, occasionally nuzzling behind an ear into Arthur's now messy curls.
"You're not fucking me for a month," insisted Arthur groggily, eyes fluttering shut.
"Because you'll be fucking me instead," murmured Eames happily, kissing him lightly on the cheek. "Good night, Arthur."
"No fucking at all," mumbled Arthur. There was a long pause. "G'night."
EPILOGUE
Arthur did fuck Eames later. He fucked Eames a lot, later.
It was two weeks after before Eames finally remembered to check the website that had brought such memorable orgasms. He could hardly be blamed, he had spent most of the past fourteen days having a lot of athletic sex with Arthur.
Best way to spend his holidays ever. He might never go back to work again.
He was only reminded about their venture into the porn industry when he opened his email and found more than three thousand new emails waiting for him. Most of them were notifications. From there, he went to the live porn website and found out that their video was still on the front page, having generated the most hits ever (more than fifty thousand hits, which was impressive for an amateur porn site).
In his mailbox, they had several offers to go into the porn industry professionally. And to sell the rights to the ten minute video for licensed distribution.
Arthur was currently burying his face in his hands. "I can't believe more than fifty thousand people have seen my ass."
Eames said consolingly, "It is one of your most magnificent features."
"I can't believe more than fifty thousand people have seen my ass in silk underwear, being fucked by a vibrator!"
Eames' eyes went a little glazed at the memory. He visibly shook himself out of the fond memory and asked tentatively, "About the offer to make a movie..."
"NO."
"But what if-"
"NO."
THE END
(1) SADLY, THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT EXIST. THOUGH IN MY HEAD (FILTHY, FILTHY HEAD), A DILDO APPROVAL IS LIKE THOSE 'RATE YOUR PROFESSORS' CHILLI PEPPERS EXCEPT YOU HAVE LITTLE WRIGGLING DILDOS INSTEAD AWWWWW...
ohfreckle awesomely made little dildo approvals and gave me ten! <3 I feel so gratified!
I just realised poor Eames did not manage even one orgasm throughout the two fics. I feel kinda bad now. I probably should have had him wank all over Arthur at the end there. Sorry, Eames, maybe next time. :(
So...how many kinks did I manage to squeeze into one fic here?
In any case, I managed to write this piece of shameless smutty porn in bits and pieces. This started out at cherrybina 's Arthur/Eames Ass Worship Fest and continued to grow when futureperfect caps locked at me with enthusiasm. :)
My next fic will be titled Two Thumbs Up. After that, I'll work on editing the nearly 30k words monster. Then...I'll get to read the bigbang fics. ;__;
Fic: Why Allowing Eames To Talk In Bed Is A Bad Idea and Why Betting Eames That He Can't Seduce His Way Into The White House Is A Bad Idea - Or A Really Good One
Author: J
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: What's the rating for filthy dirty porn? NC-17?
Word Count: 5,203 in total (according to Google docs, since I don't have MS Words on this old laptop)
Warning: Profanity, unbetaed (should I get porn betaed?), kinky stuff including restraints and some form of voyeurism. I don't have the time to go over it in great detail so I apologise in advance for inevitable mistakes.
Summary: Arthur is the subject of Eames' creativity in bed.
Note: The titles have not much to do with the fics sadly. But they set an idea of what will happen and what has happened.
Why Allowing Eames To Talk In Bed Is A Bad Idea
Eames didn't understand it. How was Arthur's bum so ridiculously round and perky? It shouldn't be possible on someone as thin as Arthur, with so little flesh to spare. For all that he had a lean and angular body, Mother Nature decided to bless Arthur with the sort of backside some women would go a bra size down to attain.
But here it was, completely bare in bed, smooth and firm and on display just for Eames. He might be a very bad man but he must have done something tremendously good to be given this magnificent arse.
"Are you just going to stare?" asked Arthur irritably, voice slightly muffled by the pillow.
Eames murmured, "Hush now, darling. Give me this moment of gratitude that such wonders exist."
"Could you be a little more hands on in your gratitude?"
"Your wish is my-" and then he was swooping down to bite on one delectable arse cheek.
It wasn't a hard bite but Arthur let out a small cry of surprise, which spurred Eames to take the fleshy bit between his teeth, tongue pressing against the skin. Arthur muffled his next cry against the pillow which wouldn't do at all.
Slowly, Eames drew back, licking the reddened skin affectionately. He palmed Arthur's arse, relishing in how the squeezable cheeks were such a handful. He bent down and bit at the crease where the curve of Arthur's bum met with his thigh. Then he held on to those hips and pulled them backwards, positioning Arthur on his knees. The thinner man began swearing at the loss of friction against the bed.
Murmuring nonsense soothing words, Eames obligingly stroked Arthur's prick with one hand while still massaging half his bum with his other hand. It was a very lovely cock as well. Long and hard in Eames' hand, already so greedy and needy with how wet the tip was. If Eames wasn't enjoying the view from the back so much, he would turn Arthur over and give the wanton prick a kiss. Maybe mouth at the head a little to make Arthur cry out again.
But he had told himself that tonight was about Arthur's arse and he was not going to abandon his goal so quickly. It was Arthur's fault for strutting around in those well-fitted pants that loved him so.
Idly, Eames pressed a thumb between those rounded cheeks, parting them and grazing against Arthur's hole. He could see Arthur's hands bunching up the sheets desperately, his prick jerking in Eames' rough hand piteously.
With such a lovely behind, Arthur should really wear something to showcase it even better in bed. Like a pair of T-back briefs. The thought caused him to rub roughly against Arthur's twitching arsehole while his own cock pressed urgently against his zipper.
Imagine, a pair of silk T-back underwear. Ooh, what a sight. Silky black framing Arthur's smooth pale skin, delineating the perfectly symmetrical cheeks. The lace would be rough against Eames' hands as he manhandled Arthur into this exact position. He would rub against Arthur just like this, but it would be through the lace-edged silk and Arthur would be louder with his moans. Then he would rub a thumb in circles around Arthur's desperate prick, but through the damp silk instead, edging the head out the top of the panties so that he could press the sensitive crown against the lace as well and Arthur would cry out like this too, but maybe louder, and wouldn't it feel so good, Arthur...
Arthur gasped, "Eames, Eames, next time, you motherfucker. Next time! Now would you just fuck me?!"
Oh, he didn't realise that he had been running his mouth. Well, well...Eames smirked.
"Your wish is my-"
END
Why Betting Eames That He Can't Seduce His Way Into The White House Is A Bad Idea - Or A Really Good One
Arthur, in silk underthings, was currently spread out on bed with his hard-on barely contained by the skimpy thing. And he wanted to touch himself but Eames, the fucker, had decided to combine his kinks and had Arthur's wrists handcuffed to the iron bed frame. So Arthur could only glare bitchily while Eames circled the bed, sighing with expressive pleasure.
"You're so gorgeous I'm not sure how I'll survive this."
"Come a little closer and I'll show you why you won't," threatened Arthur.
And then he wriggled because he couldn't help it. Fuck, he needed more feeling against his dick right now and the silky fabric was a tease but not enough to bring him off, fuckfuckfuck...
"In a moment, darling. Let me go get the camera first."
Arthur glared up at the ceiling, swearing to himself that when Eames got back, he was going to strangle him with his thighs.
It felts like at least fifteen minutes later before Eames deigned to return. "Arthur, I had a better idea! I found my webcam!"
Opening his eyes, Arthur turned to see Eames setting up his laptop and webcam on the table that he had pulled nearer and to the side of the bed.
"What the fuck, Eames."
Eames beamed at him in the middle of his set up. "Why take a photo when I can take a video? This will tide me through those dry spells when we're not on the same continent."
Arthur gritted his teeth and yanked on the cuffs. "No, Eames. No. You will not fucking video-"
His swearing was cut off by Eames' warm hand enveloping his flagging erection - fifteen minutes was a fucking long wait - through the silky underwear. Eames gave him an encouraging squeeze, helpfully fondling him into hardness and rubbing him with exquisite familiarity. The motherfucker was actually humming.
"Can't start recording if you're not displaying your best yet, can we?" said Eames idly.
Then he reached up and pinched Arthur's right nipple as well and Arthur was just arching up, trying to get more of Eames' hands on him as he made incoherent noises.
Eames let go and moved back. "Oh, we should save that for the recording."
"You fucking asshole, get the fuck back here!!" shouted Arthur.
But Eames was fiddling with the computer now, ignoring his own hard-on in his tight jeans.
Suddenly, Eames looked up and said thoughtfully, "I just had another excellent idea. What if we had someone watch instead?"
Arthur stared. "What?"
"There's this amateur porn website that allows you to stream live. The more hits and dildo-approvals you get, the higher up the ranks you get and if you're really good, you're featured on the front page for the time you're streaming." (1)
"What...what the fuck? How do you even know these things?? Don't fucking tell me you record yourself for this!"
"Only myself jerking off, but that isn't as interesting as this," said Eames modestly. "So, which would you prefer, Arthur? A recording for my own collection or a live streaming for everyone?"
Arthur started shouting, "Neither, you fucker! Turn that damn thing off!"
Eames smiled. "Live streaming it is!"
"No, Eames, pay attention. This is a security risk. I'm a career criminal. I can't have my face all over some porn website! You can't have your face all over one!"
"Oh darling, have some faith. I've done this before after all. Look at the laptop screen, you can see that your face is definitely not within the frame. Neither will mine be."
Arthur stared at the screen and could see that the webcam was angled in a way to capture his body from the side diagonally, the view only showing from his shoulders to his knees. Eames was sitting on the bed, putting a hand on Arthur's thigh and nudging it to splay wider.
"Alright?" Eames asked, watching him intensely.
Arthur bit his lip and then said harshly, "This was not what I signed up for when I agreed to the underwear and the cuffs."
Eames smiled. "Improvisation has always been my strong point. Now..." Then he repeated his one word question seriously. "Alright?"
Turning away, Arthur growled, "If you don't bring me off in the next ten minutes-"
"They only allow ten minutes of video anyway," said Eames brightly, reaching out to turn the streaming on. "The sound is turned on by the way."
Then Eames was coming around to sit between his spread legs, his head cut off by the webcam frame, Arthur noted. He pressed both palms against Arthur's straining dick that was pushing indecently against the thin, dark material. Spreading his fingers and smoothing down the hard length, it was like he was showcasing Arthur's hard-on for the camera.
Arthur made an aborted sound of pleasure, stopping himself from gasping Eames' name.
Eames smiled, as if he knew what Arthur had been about to do.
"Think about all the people watching as I do this, darling. They all wish they were the ones here, between your lovely thighs and massaging this wanton cock, while you're tied down at my mercy."
Groaning, Arthur pressed his heated face against his arm, his dick leaping in Eames' hands. There was no way the other man didn't feel that. And the asshole said that on purpose. He was setting up the scene for their audience and Arthur couldn't believe that he was finding this so fucking hot, his nipples tightening in almost painful arousal.
Excruciatingly slow, Eames lowered the slip of silk just a little bit and inched Arthur's painfully hard dick out from the top of the underwear. Just the head of his dick was peeking out from the smooth material and the feeling of air against his skin was causing his breath to come faster, chest to start heaving.
It looked obscene on that little screen, all that expense of bared skin, with his flushed dark head of his penis pointing to his stomach and mostly still trapped by the underwear.
Arthur couldn't look away.
And Eames started to fucking talk. "You're so beautiful like this. Spread your legs a little wider...that's my boy. So gorgeous and everyone thinks the same. All these people watching, tracing this beautiful stretch of skin with their eyes, oh if only they could touch you like this."
He was stroking as he talked, drawing a hand up those parted thighs and up Arthur's side. The idea that there were people following the same lazy trail with their eyes caused Arthur to flush, dig his toes into the bed to keep from thrusting his hips upwards. Those always-moving fingers pinched at his nipples almost idly, causing him to arch his back without thinking and muffle a groan by biting on his lower lip.
"If only they had someone so responsive to play with. What do you think they want to see now, pet? I don't think this little hint here is enough," murmured Eames as he pressed two fingers against the exposed head of Arthur's dick.
Then the bastard started rubbing the tiny lace at the edge of the underwear against Arthur's dick. The rough lace rasped over and over against the tip of his penis and Arthur couldn't keep from crying out.
"What do you think our two hundred viewers want to see?" asked Eames again, hands never stopping.
"Wha-" Arthur gasped, opening his eyes to stare at the screen and Eames was rounding up but that was definitely an insanely high number of viewers sitting on their video now. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."
"No, that would be skipping to the main course before having our appetizer. Surely they want something else."
The constant drag against his erection was driving him crazy. The underwear was getting damp now from his leaking hard-on and he was feeling over-stimulated, rolling his hips uncontrollably as he tried to make Eames do more of something, anything!
Eames murmured, "How about you coming? Do you think they want to see that, pet? Do you think all those eyes are just waiting for this lovely cock to jerk and engorge and spill your precious semen all over your waiting bare skin? Maybe they want to see you come all over your panties, get yourself dirty so that I'll have to take it off and they can see everything as you lie there, spent and panting?"
"They're not panties!" protested Arthur, only to bite off his words as Eames squeezed his dick, almost giving him enough friction to just come already.
"Would you like to try again?" asked Eames pleasantly.
He couldn't take it anymore. He felt fevered and looking at the laptop and seeing his own body gyrating desperately into Eames' hands just drove him all the more crazy.
Arthur gasped out, barely knowing what he was saying, "Please, please, please, just let me-"
His eyes flew back from the screen to Eames as all of a sudden something buzzed against his painful arousal. He barely took in the view of Eames holding a vibrator to his exposed dick before he was crying out, back arching and just coming so hard he could feel pulse after pulse splattering against his skin and Eames' hand never stopped milking him, drawing out the fucking fantastic release, with the buzzing dildo still pressed against him.
He made a sound of protest when it felt too much and Eames gently patted his half-hard dick as his body collapsed back onto the bed.
"Magnificent," said Eames, proud.
"Fucking crazy," said Arthur, shell-shocked.
Strung out on the bed with limbs still shaking from the sudden orgasm, Arthur struggled to catch his breath. He hadn't been staring up at the ceiling for more than ten seconds when Eames was coming around and un-cuffing his wrists from the bedposts.
"Wha...Are we done?" he slurred.
Eames smiled at him, bending over to give him a gentle kiss. He nipped at Arthur's lower lip before pulling back.
"Of course not, darling. We still have six minutes left of footage to go."
Then he was rolling Arthur over onto his front. Grunting as his sensitive dick and nipples pressed against the mattress, Arthur stared in befuddlement as Eames cuffed him to the posts again. He tugged at his wrists without thought, the restraint against his wrists and the feel of the rough velvet against his skin making him curl his toes in quiet pleasure. He would never have agreed to the bet if he didn't actually like being held in place, not that Eames needed to know that.
Trust the asshole to push it several levels further by introducing all kinds of fucking crazy things to the bed when Arthur actually lost the bet.
While he was distracted with his muzzy thoughts, Eames returned to his position between his legs.
He murmured, "Watch the screen, pet."
Arthur ducked his head and turned to the side slowly, looking to the laptop. Fuck, there were nearly 400 viewers now. And...and fucking hell, the way his ass was displayed on the webcam was ridiculously obscene. Eames had picked a T-back underwear and his ass was completely exposed except for that strip of cloth disappearing between his cheeks. The dark cloth seemed to accentuate the revealed flesh more so than if he was just completely bare.
Now Eames was running his fingers gently along the line of the cloth. When Arthur shivered, he hummed appreciatively and pressed both hands against Arthur's pale ass. He began squeezing and massaging, leaning his weight firmly on his palms.
Arthur let out a surprised 'ah'. Because it felt good.
Not good in a 'ah, I'm going to come again, improbable as it seems' way. But more good in a 'I have not had my ass massaged before and my muscles are liquefying please never stop' way. Though from the way his cock was valiantly twitching, it might head the first way eventually.
It looked ridiculously dirty on screen, the rhythmic pressing and squeezing of Eames' wide hands.
Eames commented idly, "The viewers are increasing quite quickly even though we're not doing anything very naughty right now. I do believe it's a testament to your amazing arse, darling."
"Shut up and keep doing that," muttered Arthur, half into the pillow even as he eyeballed the numbers on the screen.
He grunted at a particularly strong squeeze of Eames' hands.
The forger continued talking casually, "I do believe we should reward their good behavior. If our viewership reaches five hundred, I'll put the dildo into this lovely behind for them."
Arthur gritted his teeth even as his dick rather improbably started to harden again at the thought of being fucked on camera.
"You are a motherfucking menace and I'm going to-"
"You're going to?"
Arthur had cut himself off when Eames had pulled the back of his underwear hard. It constricted around his growing hard-on and it was almost painful. Almost. He gasped and when Eames continued tugging, he found himself getting up on his knees. He shifted his hands so that he could grip the iron curlicue between the bedposts and keep himself stretched out and balanced.
"What the fuck-"
And then he looked at the screen in time to see Eames running a finger beneath his underwear, a gentle touch down his crack to his hole. He twitched at the ticklish touch, noting that it was wet.
"When did you even have time to get lube?" asked Arthur almost plaintively, watching like he was hypnotized by the stroking fingers on screen.
"You were just so distracted you didn't notice I had it here all along," said Eames, which was a filthy, filthy lie.
He felt himself shudder as he continued watching. It felt strange to have his dick pressed so tightly by his underwear. And it looked obscene beyond belief that Eames was holding his underwear to the side while his other hand was beginning this teasing push into his anus.
Arthur clenched his fists as the first finger went all the way in, a slippery slide that made him feel strange and full.
Eames murmured, "My darling slut, already opening up for a good finger fuck."
Fuck, watching Eames as he began thrusting with that finger...it was driving him mad. He couldn't help moving his hips to the same rhythm, pushing back against the penetration.
"I thought," he gasped. "I thought you were...going to wait. Until the viewers..."
Then he bit down on a moan as Eames poured more oily lube down his crack and started pushing two fingers in instead.
"Oh yes, the dildo is for when we reach five hundred viewers. The fingers are just to get you ready," explained Eames helpfully.
He punctuated the last word with a rough thrust, scraping against his prostate.
Arthur whimpered, pushing back as he watched the screen from under his stretched arm with lidded eyes. It felt so fucking good and it looked just as good. Eames was making sure that the webcam had a clear view of his fingers thrusting into him and he could see the hint of the bulge in his underwear from his overly interested hard-on. He knew he was leaking, dick drooling to come already. He hadn't gotten hard so soon after an orgasm since...well, since the last time Eames came up with another crazy idea in bed.
Of course, Eames couldn't stop talking and that beautiful voice wrapped around those dirty words was zinging through his veins and pouring into his arousal.
"Look at this greedy little pert bum. You wish we have five hundred viewers already, don't you? You want something bigger in you, just drilling in and opening your hole wide. You want everyone to watch and know what a wanton slut you are and how you just want to be fucked over and over again."
He didn't even realize he was moaning until Eames stopped talking for awhile.
The forger noted with obvious glee, "Will you look at that? People love your gorgeous behind so much. We're getting solid ten dildo-approvals and recommendations everywhere."
"How do you even know these things?" asked Arthur blearily, fixated on the image they painted on screen.
"Oh, I set up some notifications. Have to keep track of how well you do, of course."
Then Eames twisted his fingers and Arthur's chest was heaving, short on breath at how good that felt.
"Fuck, fuck, come on, hurry up, you have to-" He was babbling a nonsensical string of words and he didn't care.
And Eames was obligingly adding one more finger and he was so stretched out now, he could see how stretched out he was too and it looked impossible, it looked so fucking hot.
Eames was thrusting hard now and Arthur was just grunting, little 'uh' sounds as he felt his erection harden, knowing that he was getting close, if Eames would just, just...
And then the fucker removed his fingers.
Arthur started swearing. He had no idea what he was saying for awhile there but he tuned in to a continuous chant of, "Nononononono you can't fucking stop, put them back now, you fucker!"
"Oh sweetheart," Eames all but purred. "But we've reached five hundred viewers.
Arthur's knuckles went white, his hands holding him up in a mindless death grip while his breath came in faster and shorter.
On the webcam viewer, Eames' hands were slicking up a dildo above his bare bottom. The thin underwear against his sensitive and lubed hole felt almost uncomfortable and at the same time, like an unbearable tease. He shifted against the feeling, his hard-on straining as well in the scrap of silky material.
Eames didn't seem to be in any hurry. The way he was slowly rubbing oil onto the dildo, it was like he expected the vibrator to be capable of ejaculation any moment now. His fingers were efficient in applying liberal lubrication but they were definitely caressing the phallus as well, jerking it off slowly with precise motions.
Arthur gritted out, "Are you done fucking that thing?"
"Is your hole feeling empty and lonely again?" asked Eames.
As if to punctuate the question, he began trailing the lubed dildo along Arthur's crack, pressing against him through the underwear. Arthur made a muffled groan, shifting his hips impatiently. He could hardly stand this never ending tease.
Eames stroked his side soothingly and pulled the back of his underwear up again.
"Take it off," demanded Arthur, feeling divided over the constriction around his arousal.
"You're usually so slow to take off your designer menswear but now you want me to take off your Armani panties already? Seems a shame, darling," said Eames, ignoring his wishes as usual. "I think we can do this with your underwear still on, can't we?"
Shifting the underwear to the side, he started to push the slick dildo against Arthur's exposed hole. It felt huge, much larger than three fingers. The steady intrusion made him squirm, wanting to push against it and wanting to be fucked right now.
"Relax a little, love. You know you're used to bigger things." Eames chuckled. "You usually beg for bigger things than this."
"Sorry, but your dick is tiny compared to this," lied Arthur shamelessly, his hips now shifting back against the steady force.
"That's not what you said last night," murmured Eames.
"Fucking liar-"
And then Eames pushed the vibrator all the way in. Arthur gasped, feeling pinned in place. Eames tilted the vibrator upwards and it brushed unerringly against Arthur's prostate, sending him into a paroxysm of shudders.
Eames murmured, "Are you watching?"
Arthur pried his eyes open, hadn't realized he had even closed them. He turned his head a little, watching as Eames started to draw the vibrator out. It stretched the underwear that was pushed aside, pulling tighter around his erection. He whimpered when it was thrust back in, hitting his prostate and causing his back to arch. He couldn't believe how slutty he looked, the way he was shoving back against the vibrator with every quick thrust.
But he couldn't help it. He felt so fucking full and it felt so good every time the vibrator pressed against him. They looked filthy hot on the screen and Arthur couldn't stop the repeated 'ah' dripping from his lips with the occasional 'fuck'. He didn't sound like a porn star, he sounded like a needy slut being fucked the way he liked it.
His balls were tight against him, so desperate to come. He tossed his head, moaning louder.
"That's a beautiful boy. All these men and women out there are just watching your greedy little pucker pulling this toy in and squeezing around it, imagining it's your beautiful arse that they're getting a go at. But it's all mine, isn't it? They wish they could be the one stuffing you full, shoving in again and again and maybe coming all over you but I'm the only one taking you and you like it, don't you?"
Arthur was no longer coherent enough to answer him. His mouth was open with his breathless pants, loose with his whimpers of pleasure.
Then Eames stopped the movement.
He whined and shoved back. He was so, so close...
Eames obligingly pushed in again, pressing right up against his prostate.
He murmured nonsensically. "One more minute."
The continuous pressure was too much and Arthur squirmed, almost wanting to get away. Then the dildo started vibrating.
He cried out, shocked, and vision going out. The last image burned into the back of his lids was the one from the laptop; his body arching impossibly and pushing back against Eames' hand that was holding the vibrator in place. Eames pushed the vibrator in harder and the vibrations seemed to intensify, to take him apart from the inside with burning pleasure. It felt too good, his blood was boiling, he couldn't-
"Darling, come for me please," murmured Eames, low and husky with desire.
The words hooked deep into the pit of his tense stomach, curling around the vibrating white-hot pleasure inside of him and he was coming. He fell apart at his seams, the ecstasy just exploding from his spine and his veins and he knew he was just crying out over and over again...
He opened his eyes.
Arthur had no idea how much time had passed. His hands ached from the tight grip he had on the iron decoration at the head of the bed. His knees were parted further than before, thighs burning at the stretch. They were trembling, barely supporting him up anymore. In fact, he just realized Eames had a hand holding him up by the waist. His underwear was tacky, some of his stomach a bit wet from what seemed like a copious amount of come.
Fuck, he hadn't come from penetration alone in years. He wasn't young enough to do such shit anymore, his whole body still trembling from the release.
A sudden short vibration from the dildo caused him to cry out hoarsely, his body over-sensitive. Eames made soothing sounds of apology as the vibration stopped and he pulled the vibrator out slowly. Arthur's body clenched against the emptiness, unused to not having the thick phallus penetrating him anymore.
He felt the bed shift as Eames moved towards the laptop.
"And that's a wrap, loyal followers," said Eames as he turned off the webcam and shut the laptop.
Arthur let go off his grip on the curlicue and found himself slumping further down, held up only by the cuffs now. His dick felt sore from the two orgasms and the still tight underwear around him.
"Take it off," he muttered.
Eames was quick to come around and uncuff him, turning him over gently onto his back. Arthur's weak hands pushed ineffectually at the underwear and Eames eased it off his hips and down his legs.
"That was magnificent. A lovely work of delectable art," complimented Eames sincerely.
He was wiping Arthur down with a wet cloth that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Eames was a veritable treasure box of essential items for kinky sex and its aftermath. Ridiculously, he patted Arthur's now clean and soft dick fondly.
"You're not fucking me," slurred Arthur, when he noticed Eames' heavy bulge in his jeans.
"Maybe later," said Eames kindly, stripping down to his boxers and lying down on the bed with Arthur. He inched nearer shamelessly.
Arthur was far too exhausted to protest the bastard's proximity so Eames successfully curled up around him, snugging his own hard-on up against Arthur's thigh. While Arthur expected to be humped while he lay there near comatose, Eames actually behaved himself and just lay still. He seemed happy to be wrapped around Arthur, occasionally nuzzling behind an ear into Arthur's now messy curls.
"You're not fucking me for a month," insisted Arthur groggily, eyes fluttering shut.
"Because you'll be fucking me instead," murmured Eames happily, kissing him lightly on the cheek. "Good night, Arthur."
"No fucking at all," mumbled Arthur. There was a long pause. "G'night."
EPILOGUE
Arthur did fuck Eames later. He fucked Eames a lot, later.
It was two weeks after before Eames finally remembered to check the website that had brought such memorable orgasms. He could hardly be blamed, he had spent most of the past fourteen days having a lot of athletic sex with Arthur.
Best way to spend his holidays ever. He might never go back to work again.
He was only reminded about their venture into the porn industry when he opened his email and found more than three thousand new emails waiting for him. Most of them were notifications. From there, he went to the live porn website and found out that their video was still on the front page, having generated the most hits ever (more than fifty thousand hits, which was impressive for an amateur porn site).
In his mailbox, they had several offers to go into the porn industry professionally. And to sell the rights to the ten minute video for licensed distribution.
Arthur was currently burying his face in his hands. "I can't believe more than fifty thousand people have seen my ass."
Eames said consolingly, "It is one of your most magnificent features."
"I can't believe more than fifty thousand people have seen my ass in silk underwear, being fucked by a vibrator!"
Eames' eyes went a little glazed at the memory. He visibly shook himself out of the fond memory and asked tentatively, "About the offer to make a movie..."
"NO."
"But what if-"
"NO."
THE END
(1) SADLY, THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT EXIST. THOUGH IN MY HEAD (FILTHY, FILTHY HEAD), A DILDO APPROVAL IS LIKE THOSE 'RATE YOUR PROFESSORS' CHILLI PEPPERS EXCEPT YOU HAVE LITTLE WRIGGLING DILDOS INSTEAD AWWWWW...
ohfreckle awesomely made little dildo approvals and gave me ten! <3 I feel so gratified!
I just realised poor Eames did not manage even one orgasm throughout the two fics. I feel kinda bad now. I probably should have had him wank all over Arthur at the end there. Sorry, Eames, maybe next time. :(
So...how many kinks did I manage to squeeze into one fic here?