two supernatural long-ish ficlets, both sorta Dean/Castiel/Jimmy
Okay, this is me trying to re-post the kink memes stuff. Thankfully I only have these two and another couple and then at least I'm clean on that side. Sorry for the spamming. And I swear I'll actually post the fic I owe one of these days. (Right, maybe after Friday.) Blame this stuff on my utter, hopeless Jimmy Novak crush. *gets back to studying*
Title: When One Plus One Equals Three
Rating: light R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel/Jimmy, sort of
Words: 810
Summary: Jimmy craves it because while with Amelia it always was the first case and never the second, what they have is everything he doesn't and won't probably have anymore, and they have it only because of him; knowing this makes him feel strange, almost dizzy, because while he's technically powerless, he really is not.
Spoilers: up to 4x22. Speculation after that.
Disclaimer: not mine.
A/N: written for the Supernatural kink meme for the prompt Dean/Castiel/Jimmy (sorta)-Jimmy is "awake" while Dean and Cas are intimate but is trapped inside his body so can't speak or move..
What's crazy, is that Castiel actually asked him permission and what's even crazier is that Jimmy said yes. Fine, there was no sense saying no, after all he was the one giving Castiel his body out of free will of sorts, so it kind of went unsaid that Castiel could do whatever he wanted with it; also, since Castiel was back, Jimmy is there a lot more, like Castiel actually doesn't want him shut out and he feels everything that goes through Castiel's head. If you can call it like that.
So Jimmy knows. Jimmy knows exactly what Castiel feels for Dean, actually he knew before Castiel did because hey, Jimmy is the human one in there and he can recognize emotions, thank you very much. Jimmy had felt Castiel's utter desperation when Dean had said they were done, he had felt the guilt, he had felt his internal conflict, he had felt everything; now they're all on the run, Dean, Sam, Chuck and them, and things are so fragile and the end is so near that when it came up that Dean actually reciprocated Castiel's feelings too... well, saying no when Castiel asked would have been plainly cruel. It's not like Jimmy has much hope of happiness for himself again, but he never was a vindicative man nor what Dean would call a bastard son of a bitch and if he can't have it, he won't deny it to others if it's in his power.
(And that's pretty much the only thing that is in his power, these days.)
And then, then, after the first time, Jimmy realized that he needs it too even if he really isn't a part of the equation. Jimmy is a mean from Castiel to Dean and vice versa, but he doesn't really play any other part. He feels what Castiel feels even if it's not as intense and Christ, he will never get adjusted to be there inside his own body and be able to just watch while someone else controls it in his place.
But it doesn't matter because pitiful as it might sound, Jimmy craves it. He craves that moment every evening when the sun sets for what might be the last time and Dean turns off the light; he craves it both when Dean and Castiel take things slow, touching each other with a reverence on both sides which Jimmy would have imagined in Castiel's case but not in Dean's. He craves it when they kiss without hurry, he craves it when they undress each other and Dean trails kisses all over Castiel's shoulders, he craves it when Castiel is inside Dean and holds Dean's hips like he's made of some precious glass, he craves it when Dean looks up at Castiel (at them) with those eyes that say every word his mouth won't pronounce. This usually happens when it was a decent day.
He craves it when the day, on the contrary, is filled with blood and black smoke and the second they are into whatever room they find the clothes get almost ripped off, there's no time for sweet talk, they kiss so hard that blood is drawn and then Dean fucks Castiel (them) with such an intensity that Jimmy has blacked out more than once.
Jimmy craves it because while with Amelia it always was the first case and never the second, what they have is everything he doesn't and won't probably have anymore, and they have it only because of him; knowing this makes him feel strange, almost dizzy, because while he's technically powerless, he really is not. Even if the world becomes a worse place with every day that passes and they still don't have a plan to stop its ending, when the door closes Dean and Castiel are... happy, or sort of, or as close to happy as one might be in these circumstances, and Jimmy knows how miserable Castiel had been before. More or less since he came back until Dean kissed him for the first time.
They have this and it makes them strong, it gives them what they need, it saves them from a good deal of misery; but Jimmy is the only reason it can happen, and that's why sometimes he allows himself to blank out just a bit and imagine that the hands cradling his face are Amelia's even if they are wider and rougher; some other times, when Castiel's feelings are so overwhelming that he can barely keep them in check, Jimmy is there, goes with it, blanks out and pretends they're his, too; all the times, he's there. After all, it didn't take much to find out how easy it was to pretend that he's an active part in all of this, but he needs those sparse glimpses of happiness for himself too much to care.
End.
Title: Just Fair
Rating: R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Dean/Jimmy
Words: 1332
Summary: So this is how it goes. Dean gets laid each night by two different people who own the same body; and the weirdest thing is that it doesn't feel even remotely the same.
Spoilers: up until 4x22.
Disclaimer: not really mine.
A/N: written for the Dean/Castiel kink meme for the prompt Castiel is on the run (riding around with the Winchesters) so he still needs Jimmy as a vessel so they alternate between who's consciously present.
It's just fair to Jimmy, Dean thinks, but it doesn't mean that this isn't a whole new level of freaking weird, and it's no euphemism.
Thing is, Cas did manage to escape the Archangels somewhat, but then it automatically meant that he'd stick with them. And that was fine, really; he had dared Sam to object, but it hadn't been necessary. Dean figured that seeing how things were, if Sam had in front of his eyes a real proof that there was at least one angel that was like the ones Sam had spent years praying to, it couldn't really mean anything bad. And it was probably why Sam didn't put up one single objection. That wasn't a new level of weird at all.
--
It, on the whole, had started when Castiel took him aside one day and told him that from then on he would split with Jimmy equally.
Dean had blinked.
Castiel had shrugged and said that at the beginning, he had assumed that after averting the Apocalypse he would leave and let Jimmy return to his life; this obviously wasn't going to happen any time soon and since by that point he felt too and the both of them were sort of connected, he really didn't feel like it was fair that Jimmy had to always stay back. Of course, if there was the need to fight, Castiel would have come forward at once, but they had talked and agreed on twelve-hour spans.
Dean hadn't been that enthusiast, but Castiel's reasoning hardly had faults. Dean had liked the poor bastard back then and he figured that twelve hours of consciousness each day were the least they owed him. So he had said fine and then Castiel had nodded and blinked and Jimmy had been there instead, staring at his fingers like he couldn't believe he could actually move them.
And since it wasn't like Lucifer had done a single thing since his rise and it sounded like Apocalypse wasn't starting just now, Dean just took the guy's wrist, brought him to the nearest open diner he found, gave him twenty bucks and said he could knock himself out. Jimmy had looked at him in sheer gratitude and Dean barely drank some water as he watched him eat.
--
It, part one, started a week later or so, when he and Castiel were talking about something he can't remember, and then suddenly he had sort of finally really told Cas exactly how thankful he was and maybe he shouldn't have done it, and then Castiel had said nonsense, he had chosen it and it was enough, and it had ended with Castiel kissing him on impulse, Dean not even thinking about stopping, some sparse sentences which did contain the word love even if he can't remember who said it first and Sam looking pretty much like the incarnation of embarrassment the day after. Thankfully he had had a room for himself that evening.
--
It, part two, had started two days later when Jimmy was Jimmy and Dean was sharing with him because there still was tension between the guy and Sam even when Dean was present and having them sharing a room wasn't that bright of an idea. Dean had sort of meant to apologize about blatantly using Jimmy's body, but Jimmy had just shrugged and said that he already gave Castiel permission and he really couldn't afford to be picky.
Dean had asked what it meant, Jimmy had said something like 'try to be the one without control over his body for a year, and let's just not talk about feeling what Castiel felt for the last month'; then Jimmy had just stood up and kissed Dean senseless. It lasted maybe ten seconds; he apologized as he abruptly parted and he said that he was sorry but it had been so much time and he didn't have the right, and that was when the whole new level of weird had started. Because Jimmy was still blathering when Dean had brought a hand on his cheek and then there was silence. Dean had spoken first.
"Don't... I mean, seriously, man, you really got the short straw here."
Jimmy had been about to say something but then had gone into a sort of half-trance for maybe a minute. That was when the whole new level of freak had become even weirder.
"He... Castiel said that... it'd be alright."
"He what?"
"Literally, I need this and he doesn't mind and... well, something that stays between him and me. Sorry. But... you don't have to. I'm not him."
Dean should have said fuck this to everything, but he hadn't.
"I know," he had answered instead, and then had kissed Jimmy because well, he probably wasn't even realizing it but his eyes were just pleading and Dean really wanted to make things better if he could someway.
Sam had been way, way more embarrassed the morning after.
--
So this is how it goes. Dean gets laid each night by two different people who own the same body; and the weirdest thing is that it doesn't feel even remotely the same.
Castiel always touches him reverently, almost like he's a piece of precious glass, and it always makes Dean's heart lose beats because barely touching is too much sometimes; they kiss slowly, with Dean taking his time to map every inch of Castiel's mouth with his tongue. They spend time just touching each other or holding each other or kissing before actually doing it and Castiel is impossibly slow and careful when he's thrusting into Dean and Dean's hips match his pace evenly. It doesn't even feel like merely having sex; when Dean comes with Castiel's name on his lips it always feels like some fucking extra-sensory experience, and when it's over he only feels bliss pulsing through his veins as he wraps his arms around Castiel's waist. Castiel does this like it the bare fact that he's able to do it is a gift, and for Dean it's the same.
Jimmy, though, Jimmy doesn't really treat him as any kind of gift. Jimmy treats him like this is the worst year of his life and Dean's body is the only place where he can forget it. He needs, almost craves it even; his hands always roam over Dean's body like they can't get enough of touching him everywhere, he kisses Dean so hard that it almost bruises and more than once he actually drew blood by kissing only (and Dean won't ever forget how hard Jimmy had shuddered that time). He doesn't lose time in preliminaries, he barely talks and when he does his voice is higher and more desperate and curses a lot, lot more; he fucks Dean hard and fast and desperately and Dean usually can't help staring at him whenever he comes, when his face is contorted into an expression which is a mixture between tormented and blissed out. Which is understandable, he probably wishes this was with his wife, but still, it doesn't matter and whenever Dean wraps his arm around Jimmy's waist he curls into the touch like it's some kind of drug.
And what's fun, is that Dean knows perfectly that he's everything that's left to the both of them and he lives in the fear of letting them down too, and let's just not bring Sam into the equation.
He wonders what goes on in their head most of the times. He wonders if one day they'll be together as they do this. He won't ever ask, that's for sure.
He only knows that it doesn't feel like he'd betraying Cas or like it's a pity fuck when he's with Jimmy, and that he doesn't wonder anymore if being with Cas hurts Jimmy somewhat. And it's all very, very confusing, but on top of it all, he also gave up on sorting this out. After all, it's fair. Who cares about the rest.
End.
Title: When One Plus One Equals Three
Rating: light R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel/Jimmy, sort of
Words: 810
Summary: Jimmy craves it because while with Amelia it always was the first case and never the second, what they have is everything he doesn't and won't probably have anymore, and they have it only because of him; knowing this makes him feel strange, almost dizzy, because while he's technically powerless, he really is not.
Spoilers: up to 4x22. Speculation after that.
Disclaimer: not mine.
A/N: written for the Supernatural kink meme for the prompt Dean/Castiel/Jimmy (sorta)-Jimmy is "awake" while Dean and Cas are intimate but is trapped inside his body so can't speak or move..
What's crazy, is that Castiel actually asked him permission and what's even crazier is that Jimmy said yes. Fine, there was no sense saying no, after all he was the one giving Castiel his body out of free will of sorts, so it kind of went unsaid that Castiel could do whatever he wanted with it; also, since Castiel was back, Jimmy is there a lot more, like Castiel actually doesn't want him shut out and he feels everything that goes through Castiel's head. If you can call it like that.
So Jimmy knows. Jimmy knows exactly what Castiel feels for Dean, actually he knew before Castiel did because hey, Jimmy is the human one in there and he can recognize emotions, thank you very much. Jimmy had felt Castiel's utter desperation when Dean had said they were done, he had felt the guilt, he had felt his internal conflict, he had felt everything; now they're all on the run, Dean, Sam, Chuck and them, and things are so fragile and the end is so near that when it came up that Dean actually reciprocated Castiel's feelings too... well, saying no when Castiel asked would have been plainly cruel. It's not like Jimmy has much hope of happiness for himself again, but he never was a vindicative man nor what Dean would call a bastard son of a bitch and if he can't have it, he won't deny it to others if it's in his power.
(And that's pretty much the only thing that is in his power, these days.)
And then, then, after the first time, Jimmy realized that he needs it too even if he really isn't a part of the equation. Jimmy is a mean from Castiel to Dean and vice versa, but he doesn't really play any other part. He feels what Castiel feels even if it's not as intense and Christ, he will never get adjusted to be there inside his own body and be able to just watch while someone else controls it in his place.
But it doesn't matter because pitiful as it might sound, Jimmy craves it. He craves that moment every evening when the sun sets for what might be the last time and Dean turns off the light; he craves it both when Dean and Castiel take things slow, touching each other with a reverence on both sides which Jimmy would have imagined in Castiel's case but not in Dean's. He craves it when they kiss without hurry, he craves it when they undress each other and Dean trails kisses all over Castiel's shoulders, he craves it when Castiel is inside Dean and holds Dean's hips like he's made of some precious glass, he craves it when Dean looks up at Castiel (at them) with those eyes that say every word his mouth won't pronounce. This usually happens when it was a decent day.
He craves it when the day, on the contrary, is filled with blood and black smoke and the second they are into whatever room they find the clothes get almost ripped off, there's no time for sweet talk, they kiss so hard that blood is drawn and then Dean fucks Castiel (them) with such an intensity that Jimmy has blacked out more than once.
Jimmy craves it because while with Amelia it always was the first case and never the second, what they have is everything he doesn't and won't probably have anymore, and they have it only because of him; knowing this makes him feel strange, almost dizzy, because while he's technically powerless, he really is not. Even if the world becomes a worse place with every day that passes and they still don't have a plan to stop its ending, when the door closes Dean and Castiel are... happy, or sort of, or as close to happy as one might be in these circumstances, and Jimmy knows how miserable Castiel had been before. More or less since he came back until Dean kissed him for the first time.
They have this and it makes them strong, it gives them what they need, it saves them from a good deal of misery; but Jimmy is the only reason it can happen, and that's why sometimes he allows himself to blank out just a bit and imagine that the hands cradling his face are Amelia's even if they are wider and rougher; some other times, when Castiel's feelings are so overwhelming that he can barely keep them in check, Jimmy is there, goes with it, blanks out and pretends they're his, too; all the times, he's there. After all, it didn't take much to find out how easy it was to pretend that he's an active part in all of this, but he needs those sparse glimpses of happiness for himself too much to care.
End.
Title: Just Fair
Rating: R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Dean/Jimmy
Words: 1332
Summary: So this is how it goes. Dean gets laid each night by two different people who own the same body; and the weirdest thing is that it doesn't feel even remotely the same.
Spoilers: up until 4x22.
Disclaimer: not really mine.
A/N: written for the Dean/Castiel kink meme for the prompt Castiel is on the run (riding around with the Winchesters) so he still needs Jimmy as a vessel so they alternate between who's consciously present.
It's just fair to Jimmy, Dean thinks, but it doesn't mean that this isn't a whole new level of freaking weird, and it's no euphemism.
Thing is, Cas did manage to escape the Archangels somewhat, but then it automatically meant that he'd stick with them. And that was fine, really; he had dared Sam to object, but it hadn't been necessary. Dean figured that seeing how things were, if Sam had in front of his eyes a real proof that there was at least one angel that was like the ones Sam had spent years praying to, it couldn't really mean anything bad. And it was probably why Sam didn't put up one single objection. That wasn't a new level of weird at all.
--
It, on the whole, had started when Castiel took him aside one day and told him that from then on he would split with Jimmy equally.
Dean had blinked.
Castiel had shrugged and said that at the beginning, he had assumed that after averting the Apocalypse he would leave and let Jimmy return to his life; this obviously wasn't going to happen any time soon and since by that point he felt too and the both of them were sort of connected, he really didn't feel like it was fair that Jimmy had to always stay back. Of course, if there was the need to fight, Castiel would have come forward at once, but they had talked and agreed on twelve-hour spans.
Dean hadn't been that enthusiast, but Castiel's reasoning hardly had faults. Dean had liked the poor bastard back then and he figured that twelve hours of consciousness each day were the least they owed him. So he had said fine and then Castiel had nodded and blinked and Jimmy had been there instead, staring at his fingers like he couldn't believe he could actually move them.
And since it wasn't like Lucifer had done a single thing since his rise and it sounded like Apocalypse wasn't starting just now, Dean just took the guy's wrist, brought him to the nearest open diner he found, gave him twenty bucks and said he could knock himself out. Jimmy had looked at him in sheer gratitude and Dean barely drank some water as he watched him eat.
--
It, part one, started a week later or so, when he and Castiel were talking about something he can't remember, and then suddenly he had sort of finally really told Cas exactly how thankful he was and maybe he shouldn't have done it, and then Castiel had said nonsense, he had chosen it and it was enough, and it had ended with Castiel kissing him on impulse, Dean not even thinking about stopping, some sparse sentences which did contain the word love even if he can't remember who said it first and Sam looking pretty much like the incarnation of embarrassment the day after. Thankfully he had had a room for himself that evening.
--
It, part two, had started two days later when Jimmy was Jimmy and Dean was sharing with him because there still was tension between the guy and Sam even when Dean was present and having them sharing a room wasn't that bright of an idea. Dean had sort of meant to apologize about blatantly using Jimmy's body, but Jimmy had just shrugged and said that he already gave Castiel permission and he really couldn't afford to be picky.
Dean had asked what it meant, Jimmy had said something like 'try to be the one without control over his body for a year, and let's just not talk about feeling what Castiel felt for the last month'; then Jimmy had just stood up and kissed Dean senseless. It lasted maybe ten seconds; he apologized as he abruptly parted and he said that he was sorry but it had been so much time and he didn't have the right, and that was when the whole new level of weird had started. Because Jimmy was still blathering when Dean had brought a hand on his cheek and then there was silence. Dean had spoken first.
"Don't... I mean, seriously, man, you really got the short straw here."
Jimmy had been about to say something but then had gone into a sort of half-trance for maybe a minute. That was when the whole new level of freak had become even weirder.
"He... Castiel said that... it'd be alright."
"He what?"
"Literally, I need this and he doesn't mind and... well, something that stays between him and me. Sorry. But... you don't have to. I'm not him."
Dean should have said fuck this to everything, but he hadn't.
"I know," he had answered instead, and then had kissed Jimmy because well, he probably wasn't even realizing it but his eyes were just pleading and Dean really wanted to make things better if he could someway.
Sam had been way, way more embarrassed the morning after.
--
So this is how it goes. Dean gets laid each night by two different people who own the same body; and the weirdest thing is that it doesn't feel even remotely the same.
Castiel always touches him reverently, almost like he's a piece of precious glass, and it always makes Dean's heart lose beats because barely touching is too much sometimes; they kiss slowly, with Dean taking his time to map every inch of Castiel's mouth with his tongue. They spend time just touching each other or holding each other or kissing before actually doing it and Castiel is impossibly slow and careful when he's thrusting into Dean and Dean's hips match his pace evenly. It doesn't even feel like merely having sex; when Dean comes with Castiel's name on his lips it always feels like some fucking extra-sensory experience, and when it's over he only feels bliss pulsing through his veins as he wraps his arms around Castiel's waist. Castiel does this like it the bare fact that he's able to do it is a gift, and for Dean it's the same.
Jimmy, though, Jimmy doesn't really treat him as any kind of gift. Jimmy treats him like this is the worst year of his life and Dean's body is the only place where he can forget it. He needs, almost craves it even; his hands always roam over Dean's body like they can't get enough of touching him everywhere, he kisses Dean so hard that it almost bruises and more than once he actually drew blood by kissing only (and Dean won't ever forget how hard Jimmy had shuddered that time). He doesn't lose time in preliminaries, he barely talks and when he does his voice is higher and more desperate and curses a lot, lot more; he fucks Dean hard and fast and desperately and Dean usually can't help staring at him whenever he comes, when his face is contorted into an expression which is a mixture between tormented and blissed out. Which is understandable, he probably wishes this was with his wife, but still, it doesn't matter and whenever Dean wraps his arm around Jimmy's waist he curls into the touch like it's some kind of drug.
And what's fun, is that Dean knows perfectly that he's everything that's left to the both of them and he lives in the fear of letting them down too, and let's just not bring Sam into the equation.
He wonders what goes on in their head most of the times. He wonders if one day they'll be together as they do this. He won't ever ask, that's for sure.
He only knows that it doesn't feel like he'd betraying Cas or like it's a pity fuck when he's with Jimmy, and that he doesn't wonder anymore if being with Cas hurts Jimmy somewhat. And it's all very, very confusing, but on top of it all, he also gave up on sorting this out. After all, it's fair. Who cares about the rest.
End.