last night i said, i wouldn't leave a dog i hated alone in that much pain.

in the most southern accent ever.

it's all going to be ok.
god bless you, adequate pain meds.
god bless you, papa john's.

I always thought heartbreak was about getting left, being rejected.

boy howdy was I wrong.

it's this feeling of total inability to do anything to make the pain of someone you love dearly go away.

I don't even believe in god, but I sure have been praying a lot.

dear ceiling fan, please cause a rain of oxycontin to fall right now.

amen.

the red wheelbarrow

So much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

william carlos williams

the people whose dogs i walk forgot to pay me friday ( Read more... )

Poem for Monday, August 16, 2004 ( Read more... )

how the fuck do i find a therapist?

y pues nada
y pues nada
y pues nada

thanks, everyone, for readingall this got triggered when i found a promissory note from my parents to my dad's parents, from when he apparently borrowed $10,000 to put me in second chance. it made me feel so fucked up that that wasn't even the whole cost of those 14 months of total fucking misery ( Read more... )