So Much Mine: Section Twenty
Section Twenty
I am sorry I am late. It's been a very long day. And transitions are hard to write! :G
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: Overall NC-17. This section refers to sexual content.
Beef and Daikon Stew given to: Ranalore
Summary: The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.
Section One; Section Two; Section Three; Section Four; Section Five; Section Six;
Section Seven; Section Eight; Section Nine; Section Ten; Section Eleven; Section Twelve;
Section Thirteen; Section Fourteen; Section Fifteen; Section Sixteen; Section Seventeen; Section Eighteen; Section Nineteen
Yunho sat outside of the bathroom door, his head leaned back against the firm wood. A few thumps of his skull resounded softly, a faint knocking to reach the young man inside. Yunho’s body purred with languid pleasure, wanting nothing more than a stretching relaxation along the lean body of the lover he discovered inside of the inquisitive Jaejoong. His mind however had other issues, concentrating on setting some of Yunho’s disrupted life to rights. Rubbing at his face, the leader sighed heavily, wondering how much more drama he would be able to take in loving Jaejoong.
He stared at the baseboards of the hallway, mentally digging in each detail, having gone over the terrain for more than a few minutes. Yunho could have described the wallpaper in detail, an eternity of memorizing each scribble and scrawl of the seagrass pattern below the chair rail. His body still held the tingle of Jaejoong, something he rubbed into his chest as he sat thinking.
There were parts of him that were seared from the singer’s touch, the imprint of those nearly-pornographic lips trailing still in Yunho’s memory. Every inch of Jaejoong’s skin left a realm of possibilities, forming and reforming as the leader imagined another hour…another night.. a lifetime of exploring the singer until he wept from pleasure and begged for its release. Yunho’s shaft responded with the mere thought of Jaejoong’s face, burled soft from a moan and sensual with desire.
“Minnie-ah…” Yunho called out, a melodic query. He would try to distract himself from burying his mind into time, back into the bedroom of candles and a lithe, naked Jae writhing to bring him to bliss. “When are you coming out? I need to talk to you about…”
“I am not done.” Changmin shouted as he scrubbed at his shoulders, thinking of what to say to the older man. The hot water from the shower steamed through the bathroom, filling the enclosure and filming its glass panes. The rough length of scrubbing towel scraped away the day’s oiliness from his tender skin, a blushing tan dappled with sunsprays of freckles on his chest. “I’ll come find you when I’m done!”
“Is he still in there?” Yoochun sat down next to Yunho, the leader’s legs pulled up to make room for the other. Placing his hand on the floor between them, Micky clasped at Yunho’s fingers in comfort, a quick subtle embrace. Yunho smiled in lukewarm thanks, troubled still at the image of Changmin’s horrified face when he opened the bedroom door, exclaiming loudly enough he woke the two elder members.
It wasn’t quite a scream Jaejoong reasoned to himself when he mumbled in shame into the crux of Yunho’s chest, his face engorged with embarrassment. Yunho grabbed at the blankets, trying in vain to wrap any semblance of modesty around his lover. The two singers twisted and scrambled, doing nothing more than exposing more of themselves than covering. Changmin stared for a long moment, retrieved his towel from the hook by his bed and announced he was going to take a shower.
Micky could hear the water hitting the wall inside of the bathroom, drowning out nearly everything that could be happening inside of the tiny stall. “He could just be taking a shower. That’s what it sounds like.”
“I feel as if he’s washing away any sin he took into his brain at seeing Jaejoong and I…” Yunho’s features squished together in an elaborate show of remorse. “We fell asleep. I don’t think either one of us…imagined.. Changmin…”
“…Would walk in on you?” Micky bit at the inside of his cheek to avoid laughing, the sight of Yunho’s anguish precious to his glee. “It was rather… um… educational. I think that’s a good word for it. Educational. Junsu was thinking instructional but that would be… well, leading to other matters that I don’t think either one of us is ready for.”
“Please, Chunnie.” Yunho rested his forehead on his knees, wrapping his arms around his shins. “I’m already ashamed of what happened. Not of Jaejoong…never of Joongie-ah. Just… Changmin. Don’t make it worse.”
“It was nice. I’m glad that none of the candles caught anything on fire. And the tea definitely was cold. The pot was nearly iced over.” The tall singer ticked off the positives of the situation. He’d tried to stop Changmin from entering the bedroom but the youngest member had complained of feeling clammy, a residual of his cold. The door was open before either Junsu or Yoochun could stop him, the two lovers displayed before them in an erotic intertwine.
Yoochun swallowed hard, his throat rasping raw at the sight of Yunho cradling a naked Jaejoong to his body, the lean bodied singer’s legs wrapped between the leader’s thighs. Yunho’s hand lay on the curve of Jaejoong’s hip, fingers trailed down over the gentle pale rise of the vocalist’s trim ass. The tiny bump of Junsu against the back of Yoochun’s hip bluntly told the singer how erotic the image was, a gulping swallow audible over Yoochun’s laboured breathing.
“It was good to see you and Jaejoong doing something together.” Yoochun teased, failing to stifle his chuckle. He winced at the hot-tempered glance Yunho threw at him, the pointed look reminding the singer that their leader had very little sense of humour when his world spun a little out of control.
“Remember what I said about making it worse?” Yunho muttered, tapping the wall with his head, wishing the youngest out of the shower.
“Changmin will be fine, Yunho.” The other singer consoled his leader, throwing an arm over Yunho’s shoulder. “Min is a very open-minded person. He won’t be offended by what he saw. He might not understand it…but he won’t be offended.”
“Why did we fall asleep?” Yunho lifted his eyes to the heavens. Squinting at the other man, the leader pondered. “Actually, why did you come home so soon?”
“Movies only last as long as they are filmed. That’s how a movie works. There is a beginning…a longer middle and then the end. They expect you to leave when it’s reached the end. We were gone for over four hours.” Yoochun pointed out. “Besides, falling asleep was.. probably the least of the sins you committed today. You’ll just have to sit and wait to speak to him, Yunnie. If he’s traumatized, we’ll work it out.”
“He is too young to have been.. exposed to that.” The leader thought for a moment, the cherished moments he shared with Jaejoong poignant in his heart. Yoochun’s head slanted, a cocked warning of caution in his motion. The young man was fiercely protective of their feral street cat. “No, not that.. us. Changmin shouldn’t have seen us like that. Not because it was wrong but because… he’s just too young.”
“Knowing Minnie-ah,” Yoochun tsked knowingly, forgiving Yunho for his indirect slight. “You should have counted yourself lucky that he didn’t just stand there and take notes.”
Jaejoong sat hard on the edge of the bed he just pulled away from his own. Yunho’s scent permeated his nose, running down his throat in a caramel salt heat. Junsu stood folding the faux-chinchilla coverlet, sniffing at the weave, surreptitiously watching the other singer. The sex clung in the air, a perfume of musk and vanilla, drawing Junsu’s thoughts to the young man he shared a room with.
They’d spoken of coupling and mingled kisses, clandestine whispers in the dark while the wind broke through the crack in the window, a agreeable sonnet to the poetry of their secrets. So many of their conversations of late centred around the sensual conflict between Yunho and Jaejoong, an aloud wondering if they would ever consummate the relationship the two other singers were working towards. Apparently, tonight Jae and Yunnie had…or at least the took steps towards some kind of fulfillment.
“Changmin..” Jaejoong started, stopping when Junsu held up his hand, shaking off the singer’s words.
“You shouldn’t worry so, Jaejoong.” Junsu touched the singer’s shoulder, his hand falling down to grip at Jae’s bicep, skimming over the faint bruises Yunho’s fingers left behind. “Minnie-ah… Yunho will talk to him. You’ll find he will be fine.”
“I just…worry.” The singer collapsed, the mattress sinking down under his weight. “What I am….what I want… I don’t want Changmin to think badly of Yunho just because of me.”
”Is that what you think he believes?” Junsu’s eyebrows lifted, surprise written on his face. “That what you shared was…bad?”
“No…” Jae’s heart sank, fretting at the worry he caused to Yunho. The farthest thing he had in his mind was to make Yunho lesser in anyone’s eyes. His heart wept at the thought of hiding who he was…what he was to everyone in the world but the day hadn’t dawned on a time when he and Yunho could stand together on the beach, Yunho’s arms wrapped around him as the sun stroked both of their upturned faces. Seoul, as metropolitan of a city as it claimed to be, still was haunted by the conservative strictures of an ancient culture.
“I think I might be…lying to myself, Junsu.” Jaejoong continued, a heavy sigh dragging down the joy in his throat. It soured the taste of his lover, covert happiness ripened under the glowing aftermath of the time he’d spent cuddled against Yunho.
“Minnie’s eyes were… shocked. Clouded. And I wonder… if I saw right. My gut just ached thinking about Changmin hating…Yunnie-ah. Hating me.” The singer breathed a heavy pant through his parted lips, the night strung over his face in dappled of shadows, the leaves from a tree outside dancing in front of a street lamp outside. “I wish to hell that we could be hand-in-hand, walking through Paris or London, just spending time outside with one another but the truth is…we can’t. And I don’t think Yunho would want to live a lie.”
Junsu listened as Jaejoong poured out the weeping remains of angst in his heart. “Changmin’s face tonight… that reminded me that outside of these walls…hell, inside of these walls, we can’t be one. Not without risking Yunho…not without risking all of you.”
“Changmin didn’t see anything ugly, Jaejoong.” Junsu insisted, pacing down between the beds, now separated by a gaping canyon of doubt. “Listen to me, Joongie-ah. Please, listen to me.”
“It was beautiful, seeing you with him.” The young man flopped down on Yunho’s bed, tucking his hands behind his head, resting back on a pillow. Junsu felt comfortable, inured by love he felt when he walked into the room. “It wasn’t wrong…it wasn’t sin. It was just beautiful to walk in and find… you. Like that. Together. There was love there, even asleep, it was so thick around you, a blanket wrapped tight over your souls. It was … like waking up and seeing the sun after lengths of storms that blocked out the day.”
“It felt that way…when we were together.” Jae whispered, holding his heart in his throat. “It was as if my body felt life for the first time. My heart started beating…shaking off the sawdust packed into my chest. I don’t want to ever give that up…ever give him up. I can’t have Changmin or anyone else look at him like that. I would rather give him up than see him…disrespected and tossed aside because of his love for me.”
“I know that we… the group…” Junsu began, working for the words he wanted to speak. His joyous countenance solemnly still, a serious reflective nature revealed, a window pane cleared of a frosted, pretty lace. “We want you two to be happy. Even Changmin, I’m sure. He would want both of you to be happy.”
“What everyone sees outside… should be what you want them to see. It’s no one else’s business but yours…but ours.” The young man turned his head, staring up at Jaejoong’s open face. “We’re a family…bonded together, Joonie. Everything that you do inside of these walls is yours. No one else’s. We won’t let anyone take that from you.”
Sitting up, Junsu cupped his friend’s chin, placing a gentle kiss on Jae’s mouth, a friendly affection. “We will protect you, Jaejoong. We’ll protect both of you.”
Changmin’s bare foot struck Yunho’s leg, the leader left barren in the hallway, devoid of any company after Yoochun’s stomach growled in protest. The kitchen held the remains of Jaejoong’s cooking, a dinner left forgotten under wanton kisses and exploratory fingers. Min’s pajamas were damp between his shoulders, a small wet patch clinging to the curve of his spine, the light blue cotton dark with water.
“Yunnie-ah!” Min stared down at the elder, his almond eyes dewed from the shower spray. “I almost stepped on you.”
“Is there any water left in Seoul?” Yunho stood carefully, the chill of the floor aching his hips. Steam poured from the open door, long tendrils seeking the cold outside. Yunho leaned against the wall, regarding the young man rubbing his hair dry with a towel.
“What’s so important, hyung?” Changmin glanced down at the hall towards the bedrooms. “Did you.. and Jaejoong… are things alright?”
“Things are fine.” Yunho breathed a sigh, guiding the youngest to the tiny room they used for music practice and in Changmin’s case, a hard bout of all-night studying so he wouldn’t wake the others. “I just wanted to talk to you about…what you saw.”
“Ah.” Min nodded, cocking his head, looping the towel over his shoulders. His streaked hair stuck out around his head, a porcupine of fringe laid down over his wide-eyed expression. Yunho had a crazed look about his eyes, something hovering just at the edge of unreason. “You’re concerned about my…impressions.”
“I’m more than concerned…” Yunho straddled a chair, leaning forward, his hands clenched over the seat’s back. “Changmin…Minnie-ah, I just wanted to make sure that you understood about…”
“You and Jaejoong?” The youngest smiled, pushing himself forward on the futon sofa, his legs stretched out under the chair Yunho commandeered. “I knew about you two. I’ve known for a long time. Probably longer than you have. It took you long enough. I thought I was going to have to draw you a diagram soon.”
“Min, I want you to understand that Jaejoong and I…we’re working … we’re trying...” Yunho stumbled, his fingers rubbing at the pressure points of his temples. He didn’t know what he was saying. He didn’t even know what he could call his affection for Jaejoong, except for love…something forbidden to him in the world Yunho lived in. “I won’t be ashamed of what I feel for Jaejoong. I refuse to but I want you to understand that we’re… becoming closer and that sometimes it’s…”
“I’ve already had this talk with my mother, Yunnie-ah. We sat down together over a cup of tea and she explained a few things to me.” Changmin patted Yunho’s hands, their fingers worked together into a spider web of nerves. “She told me all about how our bodies work and what pieces to where. I don’t think you need to tell me as well.”
“Our Jaejoong has been draped in sorrow and pain for so long, it was a part of his very skin. It wept every time he spoke. I’m surprised it took you so long to feel that when you touched him.” The youngest spoke gently, easing the leader’s worries. “I am just glad you decided that sex with him was…alright. And that you’ve taken some steps to… make yourselves complete in one another.”
“What you saw tonight…it wasn’t just sex, Min.” Yunho rested his chin on the chair back, tousling Min’s hair with a free hand. He felt a great affection for the youngest one of the group, a baby brother he never had and now, couldn’t imagine living without. “I do love him. More than anyone else that I’ve ever felt love for before. But it’s new…and sometimes, I get lost in it and I don’t think…I don’t care for the other people around me. I’m sorry for that, Changmin.”
“I didn’t take care of you tonight, Minnie.” Yunho admitted slowly. “I should have taken more care of you…not hiding what we did but taken care of your privacies, of your sensibilities. So please, forgive me for this.”
“I’ll forgive you anything, hyung.” Changmin responded. “Except for breaking Jae’s heart. He means so much to you. If you hurt him, I think you’ll shatter who you are and you’ll never forgive yourself. I can see that, even not having been in love before, I can see the love you have for our Joongie.”
“But Yunnie-ah…” The youngest continued. “Please, take care of him. Of his heart and his body. Or else I fear, I will have to help Yoochun and Junsu hide your dismembered body. And Jaejoong will never forgive us if we blunted his kitchen knives.”
I am sorry I am late. It's been a very long day. And transitions are hard to write! :G
Pairing: JaeHo
Rating: Overall NC-17. This section refers to sexual content.
Beef and Daikon Stew given to: Ranalore
Summary: The beginning of a shifting relationship. Hot Korean boys. Sex. Dancing and some angry words. Not necessarily in that order. Not necessarily in each section.
Section One; Section Two; Section Three; Section Four; Section Five; Section Six;
Section Seven; Section Eight; Section Nine; Section Ten; Section Eleven; Section Twelve;
Section Thirteen; Section Fourteen; Section Fifteen; Section Sixteen; Section Seventeen; Section Eighteen; Section Nineteen
Yunho sat outside of the bathroom door, his head leaned back against the firm wood. A few thumps of his skull resounded softly, a faint knocking to reach the young man inside. Yunho’s body purred with languid pleasure, wanting nothing more than a stretching relaxation along the lean body of the lover he discovered inside of the inquisitive Jaejoong. His mind however had other issues, concentrating on setting some of Yunho’s disrupted life to rights. Rubbing at his face, the leader sighed heavily, wondering how much more drama he would be able to take in loving Jaejoong.
He stared at the baseboards of the hallway, mentally digging in each detail, having gone over the terrain for more than a few minutes. Yunho could have described the wallpaper in detail, an eternity of memorizing each scribble and scrawl of the seagrass pattern below the chair rail. His body still held the tingle of Jaejoong, something he rubbed into his chest as he sat thinking.
There were parts of him that were seared from the singer’s touch, the imprint of those nearly-pornographic lips trailing still in Yunho’s memory. Every inch of Jaejoong’s skin left a realm of possibilities, forming and reforming as the leader imagined another hour…another night.. a lifetime of exploring the singer until he wept from pleasure and begged for its release. Yunho’s shaft responded with the mere thought of Jaejoong’s face, burled soft from a moan and sensual with desire.
“Minnie-ah…” Yunho called out, a melodic query. He would try to distract himself from burying his mind into time, back into the bedroom of candles and a lithe, naked Jae writhing to bring him to bliss. “When are you coming out? I need to talk to you about…”
“I am not done.” Changmin shouted as he scrubbed at his shoulders, thinking of what to say to the older man. The hot water from the shower steamed through the bathroom, filling the enclosure and filming its glass panes. The rough length of scrubbing towel scraped away the day’s oiliness from his tender skin, a blushing tan dappled with sunsprays of freckles on his chest. “I’ll come find you when I’m done!”
“Is he still in there?” Yoochun sat down next to Yunho, the leader’s legs pulled up to make room for the other. Placing his hand on the floor between them, Micky clasped at Yunho’s fingers in comfort, a quick subtle embrace. Yunho smiled in lukewarm thanks, troubled still at the image of Changmin’s horrified face when he opened the bedroom door, exclaiming loudly enough he woke the two elder members.
It wasn’t quite a scream Jaejoong reasoned to himself when he mumbled in shame into the crux of Yunho’s chest, his face engorged with embarrassment. Yunho grabbed at the blankets, trying in vain to wrap any semblance of modesty around his lover. The two singers twisted and scrambled, doing nothing more than exposing more of themselves than covering. Changmin stared for a long moment, retrieved his towel from the hook by his bed and announced he was going to take a shower.
Micky could hear the water hitting the wall inside of the bathroom, drowning out nearly everything that could be happening inside of the tiny stall. “He could just be taking a shower. That’s what it sounds like.”
“I feel as if he’s washing away any sin he took into his brain at seeing Jaejoong and I…” Yunho’s features squished together in an elaborate show of remorse. “We fell asleep. I don’t think either one of us…imagined.. Changmin…”
“…Would walk in on you?” Micky bit at the inside of his cheek to avoid laughing, the sight of Yunho’s anguish precious to his glee. “It was rather… um… educational. I think that’s a good word for it. Educational. Junsu was thinking instructional but that would be… well, leading to other matters that I don’t think either one of us is ready for.”
“Please, Chunnie.” Yunho rested his forehead on his knees, wrapping his arms around his shins. “I’m already ashamed of what happened. Not of Jaejoong…never of Joongie-ah. Just… Changmin. Don’t make it worse.”
“It was nice. I’m glad that none of the candles caught anything on fire. And the tea definitely was cold. The pot was nearly iced over.” The tall singer ticked off the positives of the situation. He’d tried to stop Changmin from entering the bedroom but the youngest member had complained of feeling clammy, a residual of his cold. The door was open before either Junsu or Yoochun could stop him, the two lovers displayed before them in an erotic intertwine.
Yoochun swallowed hard, his throat rasping raw at the sight of Yunho cradling a naked Jaejoong to his body, the lean bodied singer’s legs wrapped between the leader’s thighs. Yunho’s hand lay on the curve of Jaejoong’s hip, fingers trailed down over the gentle pale rise of the vocalist’s trim ass. The tiny bump of Junsu against the back of Yoochun’s hip bluntly told the singer how erotic the image was, a gulping swallow audible over Yoochun’s laboured breathing.
“It was good to see you and Jaejoong doing something together.” Yoochun teased, failing to stifle his chuckle. He winced at the hot-tempered glance Yunho threw at him, the pointed look reminding the singer that their leader had very little sense of humour when his world spun a little out of control.
“Remember what I said about making it worse?” Yunho muttered, tapping the wall with his head, wishing the youngest out of the shower.
“Changmin will be fine, Yunho.” The other singer consoled his leader, throwing an arm over Yunho’s shoulder. “Min is a very open-minded person. He won’t be offended by what he saw. He might not understand it…but he won’t be offended.”
“Why did we fall asleep?” Yunho lifted his eyes to the heavens. Squinting at the other man, the leader pondered. “Actually, why did you come home so soon?”
“Movies only last as long as they are filmed. That’s how a movie works. There is a beginning…a longer middle and then the end. They expect you to leave when it’s reached the end. We were gone for over four hours.” Yoochun pointed out. “Besides, falling asleep was.. probably the least of the sins you committed today. You’ll just have to sit and wait to speak to him, Yunnie. If he’s traumatized, we’ll work it out.”
“He is too young to have been.. exposed to that.” The leader thought for a moment, the cherished moments he shared with Jaejoong poignant in his heart. Yoochun’s head slanted, a cocked warning of caution in his motion. The young man was fiercely protective of their feral street cat. “No, not that.. us. Changmin shouldn’t have seen us like that. Not because it was wrong but because… he’s just too young.”
“Knowing Minnie-ah,” Yoochun tsked knowingly, forgiving Yunho for his indirect slight. “You should have counted yourself lucky that he didn’t just stand there and take notes.”
Jaejoong sat hard on the edge of the bed he just pulled away from his own. Yunho’s scent permeated his nose, running down his throat in a caramel salt heat. Junsu stood folding the faux-chinchilla coverlet, sniffing at the weave, surreptitiously watching the other singer. The sex clung in the air, a perfume of musk and vanilla, drawing Junsu’s thoughts to the young man he shared a room with.
They’d spoken of coupling and mingled kisses, clandestine whispers in the dark while the wind broke through the crack in the window, a agreeable sonnet to the poetry of their secrets. So many of their conversations of late centred around the sensual conflict between Yunho and Jaejoong, an aloud wondering if they would ever consummate the relationship the two other singers were working towards. Apparently, tonight Jae and Yunnie had…or at least the took steps towards some kind of fulfillment.
“Changmin..” Jaejoong started, stopping when Junsu held up his hand, shaking off the singer’s words.
“You shouldn’t worry so, Jaejoong.” Junsu touched the singer’s shoulder, his hand falling down to grip at Jae’s bicep, skimming over the faint bruises Yunho’s fingers left behind. “Minnie-ah… Yunho will talk to him. You’ll find he will be fine.”
“I just…worry.” The singer collapsed, the mattress sinking down under his weight. “What I am….what I want… I don’t want Changmin to think badly of Yunho just because of me.”
”Is that what you think he believes?” Junsu’s eyebrows lifted, surprise written on his face. “That what you shared was…bad?”
“No…” Jae’s heart sank, fretting at the worry he caused to Yunho. The farthest thing he had in his mind was to make Yunho lesser in anyone’s eyes. His heart wept at the thought of hiding who he was…what he was to everyone in the world but the day hadn’t dawned on a time when he and Yunho could stand together on the beach, Yunho’s arms wrapped around him as the sun stroked both of their upturned faces. Seoul, as metropolitan of a city as it claimed to be, still was haunted by the conservative strictures of an ancient culture.
“I think I might be…lying to myself, Junsu.” Jaejoong continued, a heavy sigh dragging down the joy in his throat. It soured the taste of his lover, covert happiness ripened under the glowing aftermath of the time he’d spent cuddled against Yunho.
“Minnie’s eyes were… shocked. Clouded. And I wonder… if I saw right. My gut just ached thinking about Changmin hating…Yunnie-ah. Hating me.” The singer breathed a heavy pant through his parted lips, the night strung over his face in dappled of shadows, the leaves from a tree outside dancing in front of a street lamp outside. “I wish to hell that we could be hand-in-hand, walking through Paris or London, just spending time outside with one another but the truth is…we can’t. And I don’t think Yunho would want to live a lie.”
Junsu listened as Jaejoong poured out the weeping remains of angst in his heart. “Changmin’s face tonight… that reminded me that outside of these walls…hell, inside of these walls, we can’t be one. Not without risking Yunho…not without risking all of you.”
“Changmin didn’t see anything ugly, Jaejoong.” Junsu insisted, pacing down between the beds, now separated by a gaping canyon of doubt. “Listen to me, Joongie-ah. Please, listen to me.”
“It was beautiful, seeing you with him.” The young man flopped down on Yunho’s bed, tucking his hands behind his head, resting back on a pillow. Junsu felt comfortable, inured by love he felt when he walked into the room. “It wasn’t wrong…it wasn’t sin. It was just beautiful to walk in and find… you. Like that. Together. There was love there, even asleep, it was so thick around you, a blanket wrapped tight over your souls. It was … like waking up and seeing the sun after lengths of storms that blocked out the day.”
“It felt that way…when we were together.” Jae whispered, holding his heart in his throat. “It was as if my body felt life for the first time. My heart started beating…shaking off the sawdust packed into my chest. I don’t want to ever give that up…ever give him up. I can’t have Changmin or anyone else look at him like that. I would rather give him up than see him…disrespected and tossed aside because of his love for me.”
“I know that we… the group…” Junsu began, working for the words he wanted to speak. His joyous countenance solemnly still, a serious reflective nature revealed, a window pane cleared of a frosted, pretty lace. “We want you two to be happy. Even Changmin, I’m sure. He would want both of you to be happy.”
“What everyone sees outside… should be what you want them to see. It’s no one else’s business but yours…but ours.” The young man turned his head, staring up at Jaejoong’s open face. “We’re a family…bonded together, Joonie. Everything that you do inside of these walls is yours. No one else’s. We won’t let anyone take that from you.”
Sitting up, Junsu cupped his friend’s chin, placing a gentle kiss on Jae’s mouth, a friendly affection. “We will protect you, Jaejoong. We’ll protect both of you.”
Changmin’s bare foot struck Yunho’s leg, the leader left barren in the hallway, devoid of any company after Yoochun’s stomach growled in protest. The kitchen held the remains of Jaejoong’s cooking, a dinner left forgotten under wanton kisses and exploratory fingers. Min’s pajamas were damp between his shoulders, a small wet patch clinging to the curve of his spine, the light blue cotton dark with water.
“Yunnie-ah!” Min stared down at the elder, his almond eyes dewed from the shower spray. “I almost stepped on you.”
“Is there any water left in Seoul?” Yunho stood carefully, the chill of the floor aching his hips. Steam poured from the open door, long tendrils seeking the cold outside. Yunho leaned against the wall, regarding the young man rubbing his hair dry with a towel.
“What’s so important, hyung?” Changmin glanced down at the hall towards the bedrooms. “Did you.. and Jaejoong… are things alright?”
“Things are fine.” Yunho breathed a sigh, guiding the youngest to the tiny room they used for music practice and in Changmin’s case, a hard bout of all-night studying so he wouldn’t wake the others. “I just wanted to talk to you about…what you saw.”
“Ah.” Min nodded, cocking his head, looping the towel over his shoulders. His streaked hair stuck out around his head, a porcupine of fringe laid down over his wide-eyed expression. Yunho had a crazed look about his eyes, something hovering just at the edge of unreason. “You’re concerned about my…impressions.”
“I’m more than concerned…” Yunho straddled a chair, leaning forward, his hands clenched over the seat’s back. “Changmin…Minnie-ah, I just wanted to make sure that you understood about…”
“You and Jaejoong?” The youngest smiled, pushing himself forward on the futon sofa, his legs stretched out under the chair Yunho commandeered. “I knew about you two. I’ve known for a long time. Probably longer than you have. It took you long enough. I thought I was going to have to draw you a diagram soon.”
“Min, I want you to understand that Jaejoong and I…we’re working … we’re trying...” Yunho stumbled, his fingers rubbing at the pressure points of his temples. He didn’t know what he was saying. He didn’t even know what he could call his affection for Jaejoong, except for love…something forbidden to him in the world Yunho lived in. “I won’t be ashamed of what I feel for Jaejoong. I refuse to but I want you to understand that we’re… becoming closer and that sometimes it’s…”
“I’ve already had this talk with my mother, Yunnie-ah. We sat down together over a cup of tea and she explained a few things to me.” Changmin patted Yunho’s hands, their fingers worked together into a spider web of nerves. “She told me all about how our bodies work and what pieces to where. I don’t think you need to tell me as well.”
“Our Jaejoong has been draped in sorrow and pain for so long, it was a part of his very skin. It wept every time he spoke. I’m surprised it took you so long to feel that when you touched him.” The youngest spoke gently, easing the leader’s worries. “I am just glad you decided that sex with him was…alright. And that you’ve taken some steps to… make yourselves complete in one another.”
“What you saw tonight…it wasn’t just sex, Min.” Yunho rested his chin on the chair back, tousling Min’s hair with a free hand. He felt a great affection for the youngest one of the group, a baby brother he never had and now, couldn’t imagine living without. “I do love him. More than anyone else that I’ve ever felt love for before. But it’s new…and sometimes, I get lost in it and I don’t think…I don’t care for the other people around me. I’m sorry for that, Changmin.”
“I didn’t take care of you tonight, Minnie.” Yunho admitted slowly. “I should have taken more care of you…not hiding what we did but taken care of your privacies, of your sensibilities. So please, forgive me for this.”
“I’ll forgive you anything, hyung.” Changmin responded. “Except for breaking Jae’s heart. He means so much to you. If you hurt him, I think you’ll shatter who you are and you’ll never forgive yourself. I can see that, even not having been in love before, I can see the love you have for our Joongie.”
“But Yunnie-ah…” The youngest continued. “Please, take care of him. Of his heart and his body. Or else I fear, I will have to help Yoochun and Junsu hide your dismembered body. And Jaejoong will never forgive us if we blunted his kitchen knives.”