Today's Check-In (Tuesday): Where am I Going and Why am I in a Handbasket?

[jadxia]

Must be that I've upped the new meds and my brain just can't seem to function through it, because I'm just spacing out today. Woke up early, 0630 (when I didn't have to be up until 0900) and couldn't get back to sleep despite being dragged out tired.

Comprehensive List of Tasks

• strength exercises = so I did the pushups and squats, but got

Comments

From Misty Moonlight

[jadxia]

"I wanted kids for my own selfish enjoyment/self-fulfillment and I love the little morpions, deal with it. That I can respect. I can respect a little selfishness and would rather see that over self-delusion any day

Re: From Misty Moonlight

[jadxia]

Most of the time I don't feel like I have that much of a choice. There's really a ton of pressure. My family has this notion (subconscious, but still there) that a woman's worth is tied up in her mother-ness

Re: From Misty Moonlight

[jadxia]

And despite what people tell me, I don't actually think I would be any different if it was my own child.

I can't think of anything worse than having a child you don't want or love.

Re: From Misty Moonlight

[misty_moonlight]

Well, children can be the greatest love or the greatest heartache - sometimes both at the same time. The moment that sticks out most to me about the societal pressure happened in a woman's studies class which was about feminism. We got to the talk asbout child birth and I said something similar that I said to you and then soemone else said their sister had chosen not to have kids, and the VERY NEXT comment was "I bet they found out they can't have kids and are just saying that."

It's a huge pressure and stuns me that it's still that way. I don't like children either - I had 5 of them, but I could have done without. Sometimes they seem like the biggest gifts in my life and sometimes i'm full of guilt because i'm not a good enough mother, and sometimes I feel like they're holding me back from living. For the most part I love and adore my kids, but I really loath other people's children. This is not the house where kids come over to play - I don't like tham and they know it.