Fic: The Thirteenth Doctor (Technically) Chronicles Chapter 1 (R)
I had to split it in two because it's too long. Hope you like it.
Title: The Thirteenth Doctor (Technically) Chronicles
Author: Jade
Rating: R
Archive: Yes, please
Characters: Ten, Thirteen, Rose, Martha, Donna and Jack
Pairings: Multiple pairings, both Het and slash
Spoilers: During season 4. AU after Forest of the Dead.
Summary: The crazy adventures of the thirteenth Doctor after he loses his TARDIS and he has to join forces with his tenth self to find it.
Beta'ed by the awesome persiflage_1 who made it flow better and managed to make sense of my ramblings.
Reviews are welcome!!! (I tend to squee every time I get a review!)
"Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?" a male voice to the left of the Doctor asked, breaking into the Doctor's dark mood. The Doctor turned to be faced with holly green eyes set in a handsome face framed with dark red hair worn in a shaggy mane and curling at the ends. The Doctor knew instantly that this was a future regeneration of his and discovered a spark of jealousy deep inside because of the red hair that the other Doctor was sporting.
"Whatever," the Doctor said softly, not reacting as the red haired Doctor sat down beside him. "You shouldn't be here."
"If I wasn't here, that would be bad, but as it stands, the universe is safe for another day. That's the thing about paradoxes, you really have to tidy them up or everything becomes unravelled like a dropped stitch in the knitted jumper of the space time continuum."
"So what do you want?"
"Still rude, I see," the other Doctor grumbled. "Martha," he said plainly.
"What about her?"
"Look, you idiot, I'm you and I know you're hurting but you have to tell her how you feel about her."
"I... can't."
"You can. If you can't manage those three little words, you could at least tell her the truth."
"What?"
"And you say you're smart," the future Doctor growled, rolling his eyes. "She said that you, or rather I, never saw her and we both know that's a lie. Go and talk to her..."
"If I do that, if I open up to her, it'll hurt even more when she leaves me again," the Doctor answered, running his hands through his hair. "Which of my regenerations are you?"
"Technically, I'm the thirteenth, and no, I won't tell you what your other regenerations look like," the thirteenth Doctor answered, fixing the Doctor with a piercing glare. "Now go and talk to her. Would it help your 'so called courage' if I said that the universe depends on your talking to her?"
*****
Martha accepted her drink from Jack, and smiled as he sat down on the other side of her. "So, you don't miss the Doctor at all?" Jack asked, clinking his glass against hers.
"A tiny bit," Martha admitted, taking a sip, "but I had to get out of there before I got hurt. It's time for me to move on."
"Good for you," Jack said with a smile. "By the way, the red head by the bar has been eyeing you up for a while now."
Martha turned and saw a red headed man in a long black coat, slouched on the stool as if he owned the place. He smiled and raised his glass at her.
"He's coming over." Jack said with a grin. "Get in there." he teased, earning a smack on the shoulder from Martha.
The red head walked over and stood between Jack and Martha. "Hello Martha," he stated with another smile. "Jack."
"How do you know us?" Martha asked, warily eyeing this new arrival, who looked to be a sort of relation to the Doctor that she knew. She was struck by the man's dark green eyes. There was something familiar about him and it wasn't just the facial features that caused her to have a case of deja vu.
"Come on, don't you recognise an old friend?" the red head asked. "Although granted I'm kind of different than I was before." He grabbed Martha's hands and placed them on either side of his chest. Martha was aware of a double heartbeat under her hands. "I remember when I first met you in the hospital..."
"Doctor?" Martha asked, finally guessing who this stranger was. She smiled when he nodded and grabbed her in a hug, lifting her off her feet. "Have you regenerated?"
"Well, a few times since I saw you last," the Doctor admitted. "Well, you'll see my tenth self again, so don't panic, he's not due to regenerate for a long while yet."
"Which one are you?" Jack asked, finally joining the conversation. "I thought you completely changed your face, not just a few features."
"As I told my tenth self, I'm technically the thirteenth." The Doctor ran his hands through the thick red mane of hair in a gesture that Martha recognised as belonging to his tenth self. "What's wrong with my face?"
"Well, you sorta look like your tenth self, except for the red hair, green eyes, the fact that you look to be more muscular and you're taller than you were," Martha pointed out. "Your accent is different too. What is that, Scottish and London mix?"
"It's a long story," the Doctor answered, giving Martha a smile. "A story I can't reveal without endangering the timeline. I can say that I've grown quite fond of my tenth self's face, but..."
"Wait! You met your tenth self? Isn't that against the laws or something?" Jack questioned with a rise of the eyebrows.
"No, because I remember it happening so I had to close the loop." The Doctor grinned. "Oh, and Martha, don't let my tenth self get you down. He's incapable of expressing his inner emotions sometimes but... He needs a kick in the behind sometimes when he's being insensitive."
"I like this look on you. Love the black leather look... All that's missing are a few tattoos," Jack stated, as he gave the thirteenth Doctor a once over.
"Stop it, Jack," the Doctor said in a teasing tone. "Besides, what makes you think I don't have any tattoos?"
Jack turned to the Doctor. "Doctor? Can I speak to you in private for a minute?" he asked in a 'do not argue' tone of voice. The Doctor nodded and Jack grabbed his sleeve. "Excuse us for a moment, Martha." Jack dragged the Doctor into the men's room and let go of him. "All right, what are you really doing here?"
"What makes you think I've got an hidden motive for being here? Can't I pop in and see two old friends without having a reason?" the Doctor asked, watching Jack pace in front of him.
"I know that unless there was a threat of alien invasions, you hardly ever catch up with your old companions."
"The tenth me might not, but I do," the Doctor spluttered, looking offended. "Why, I saw Rose not so long ago... I fell through a crack into her universe... Anyway, she's moved on and has a, um, partner," the Doctor's cheeks turned slightly red.
Jack grinned. "Really?"
"I'm happy for her." Jack fixed him with a look. "Really."
"What's his name?"
"Her name is Gwen. Not your Gwen, the alternate one," the Doctor replied.
Jack's eyebrows crawled up his forehead. "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to see Martha."
"Oh really? Why?"
"Well, because... I care for her and my tenth self is an arse for letting her think otherwise. That's why I went to see my tenth self. He needed that kick."
"So you told your tenth self to tell her that he cares for her before it's too late?" Jack stated, getting a nod in reply. "Well, let's go and see her before she feels abandoned."
"Don't tell her what we were talking about. At least not yet." The Doctor said, as Jack opened the door.
"So who are you travelling with now?"
The Doctor just gave him a sly grin in reply as they walked over to where Martha was sitting. "Wait and see."
As Martha waited for Jack and the thirteenth Doctor to return she fiddled with her beer mat, then she jumped as someone called her name. She looked up to come face to face with the tenth Doctor. "Doctor!" she squeaked, pulling him into a hug. "What brings you here?"
"I was in the area and just thought I'd stop by," the Doctor said, squashing her in a huge bear hug.
"Oh, and it has nothing to do with your thirteenth self popping in a little while ago?" Martha asked suspiciously as the Doctor let go of her.
"He came to see you too? Can you believe he's ginger? That is not fair! And that long black coat. He stole that piece of fashion statement from me..." The Doctor paused mid-babble and looked at her. "What did he tell you?"
"Hardly anything. I got the feeling that he told Jack more than me." Martha paused. "What did he say to you? He did say that he went to see you and something about closing a loop."
"Hmm, he gave me a knitting analogy." The Doctor paused, deciding to tell her. Purely to get his thirteenth self off his back and for the sake of the universe. "Martha, I'm..," he trailed off, with a sigh, unable to get the words out. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I made you feel second best," he tried again. "I only take the best with me." He offered her a shy smile.
Martha wasn't expecting that and she stared in shock for a moment. "I know, but thanks for saying it." she managed. "Why do I get the feeling there's more?"
"When you said I didn't see you, you were wrong," the Doctor admitted with a smile. "I may be a Time Lord, but I definitely am not blind and my thirteenth self reminded me of that."
Martha smiled at Ten and then noticed Thirteen and Jack coming back from their chat. "Hello Jack," Ten said, nodding at the ex-Time Agent. "Thirteen," he added with a look to his older self.
"Finally got round to it then?" Thirteen questioned, indicating Martha. "See? I was right, you do need a boot up the backside now and again."
"Hey! No need for fighting here," Jack interjected, watching as Ten bristled like an angry cat. "Although, if you want to start naked mud-wrestling..."
Ten ignored him. "So, what do you say, Martha? One more trip for old times?" he asked, a hopeful look on his face.
"Come back in the morning and ask me then," Martha replied with a slight smile. She was hoping to make the tenth Doctor work for it. "I want to be sober for this."
"Well, I'm off," Thirteen said, breaking into the conversation. "Places to go, planets to save," he said with a shrug. He enveloped Martha in a huge hug, almost lifting her off the ground and then did the same to Jack. He gave his tenth self a polite nod before turning to leave.
"So that's a 'no' is it?" the remaining Doctor asked, once the red headed Time Lord had left, looking downcast. "Jack, tell her."
"It's Martha's decision, not mine," Jack said, raising his arms in a 'nothing to do with me' way.
"The way I heard it, she hasn't exactly turned you down yet," he pointed out. "She just wants you to come back in the morning."
"Okay," Ten said finally. "I'll come back in the morning. She misses you, you know."
"Not too early, mind you," Martha ordered, with a hint of a smile playing over her face. "I miss her too."
"What about you, Captain? Fancy a trip?" Ten asked, turning to Jack.
"Hmm, maybe in a few days time," Jack answered with a grin. "It's not a 'no', just a maybe."
"All right, I'll see you in the morning, Martha," he said, giving her a cheery smile. "I'll tell Donna you said 'hi' shall I?"
"Yeah," Martha answered, knowing what her answer would be, but enjoying making the Doctor squirm. She smiled as she found herself swept up in one of the Doctor's exuberant hugs. "Don't be a stranger," she said, suddenly missing the feel of the Doctor's coat against her cheek. "Where is Donna anyway?"
"Oh, she's fine, just recovering from the last adventure," the Doctor replied airily, letting her go reluctantly. "She was asleep when I came here. I better get back before she wakes up."
"Sneaking out without telling her?" Jack said. "Very sneaky." He smirked. "You two make a cute couple," he added, although Martha was unclear on which two Jack meant and she knew he would not clarify this if she asked.
Jack let out a 'oof' as the Doctor pulled him in for a hug, although not as bone-crushing as the Thirteenth Doctor's, it still knocked the breath out of him.
"Behave Jack," the Doctor's voice said in his ear before releasing him. "I'll see you in the morning, Martha. See you soon, Captain," he said, addressing Jack.
The next morning, Martha was woken up from a nice dream of a planet made completely out of candy floss by the TARDIS engines. "If it's three o'clock in the morning, I will kill him," she grumbled as she rolled over to look at the clock. The clock read five twenty am which she wasn't sure was much better. She flung back the bedclothes and marched into the lounge. The TARDIS was parked in between her sofa and the television and seemed to have swallowed her coffee table. The door of the time machine swung open and the Doctor stuck his head out. "Hello, Martha," he said with a cheery smile.
"Do you know what time it is?" Martha growled, causing the smile to slip off his face.
"Uh, seven? Eight?" the Doctor said warily, ready to duck his head back in if she started throwing things at him.
"Oi, move aside, spaceman," Donna said, shoving him out of the way as she exited the TARDIS. "Sorry, about him. I think he sets the TARDIS clock an hour fast or something," she said, rolling her eyes. "Cup of tea?" she asked, defusing the situation before it could escalate.
"Tea? I'd love a cuppa," the Doctor said, bounding out of the TARDIS. "You got those little chocolate biccies that I like?"
"I wasn't asking you," Donna shot back, with a roll of the eyes. "Martha?"
"I'll do that," Martha protested following the red headed woman into the kitchen.
"Nonsense, you go and sit down. He needs an answer anyway," Donna said, indicating the lounge with the kettle as she filled it with water. "I hope you say yes. While Skinny's all right, I want to have someone I can have 'Girl Talk' with."
"All right," Martha agreed with a devillish smile.
"Make him squirm a bit first before you give him the answer," Donna said as Martha was near the door of the kitchen.
"You live to make him squirm, don't you?"
"Yeah, pretty much," Donna agreed, watching as the pretty young doctor made her way out to the Doctor.
The Doctor looked up from where he was scanning Martha's DVD shelf. "Made your decision yet?"
"Mmm, maybe. Let me have my tea first," Martha said, "and sit down, you're making the place look untidy."
"Hmm?" The Doctor asked distractedly. He pulled out a DVD and held it up. "War of the Worlds? Honestly, Martha..."
"Doctor! For God's sake, put your arse to an anchor!" Martha exclaimed, snapping his attention back to her.
"Oh," the Doctor said softly, obediently sitting down in a squishy brown armchair.
"Good, now stay," Martha said. "I'm going to help Donna."
A few minutes later, Donna and Martha both came out with the teas and Martha carefully handed a dark blue mug to the Doctor. "Careful, it's hot," she said, as the Doctor drew in a pained breath and quickly placed the cup on the floor.
"Have you made up your mind yet?" the Doctor asked, blowing on his fingers.
"You're very impatient, aren't you?" Martha replied, taking a sip out of her own cup.
"Please say 'yes'," the Doctor begged. "Donna'd love you to be on board."
"Yeah," Donna agreed, secretly enjoying the way the Doctor was squirming as he waited for a reply. "We both would."
"Well..," Martha began, breaking off as there was a loud bang on her front door. "Who the Hell is that at this time in the morning?"
"I'll go," the Doctor offered, standing up.
"No, I might need you for back up," Martha said, grabbing something that could be used as a weapon. "Stay here." She marched over to the front door and opened it slightly to come face to face with the thirteenth Doctor. "What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?" The red haired Doctor asked, looking slightly embarrassed. He quickly slipped in as she opened the door so he could enter.
"Who is it?" Ten asked, coming to see who the new arrival is. "Oh, it's you."
"Yeah, me. I need your help," Thirteen said, making his way into the lounge. "While it's embarrassing to ask for help from your younger self, I need to. Oh, hello, Donna," he said, as he passed her. He walked into the TARDIS, pausing to stroke the door. "Hello, Old Girl," he said, getting a hum in reply. "Yikes, I'm going to have to get used to this old desktop again," he said, looking around at the coral struts and green lighting. "No offence, of course," he muttered as Donna, Martha and Ten followed him in.
"Who the Hell are you?" Donna demanded, wary of this green eyed stranger who had just entered the TARDIS as if it belonged to him and was now messing with the controls.
"I'm the Doctor, thirteenth to be exact and I need your help in finding my TARDIS," Thirteen answered, looking up from where he was stroking the console. "I've kinda misplaced her."
"What do you mean 'you've lost your TARDIS'?" the tenth Doctor demanded, glaring at his thirteenth self. "How the Hell can you lose a TARDIS?"
"I didn't lose it, it was taken from me," the thirteenth Doctor answered, his green eyes flashing as he scowled at his younger self. "You need to help me get it back."
"Why?"
The thirteenth Doctor stepped closer to his younger self. "Because if you don't, I will be in your hair forever more." He cast a look at the brown haired Doctor's hair with an unreadable expression on his face. "And judging by the looks of it, you don't need any more things in that untamed mess you call hair."
Brown eyes met green with a steely look. "Fine!" the tenth Doctor growled, moving away from his older self. He cast a look at Donna and Martha, who were giving the two Time Lords a wary look. "Well, come on, let's find my older self his TARDIS and then send him on his way."
Donna watched the older of the two Time Lords as they scampered around the tenth Doctor's control panel, flicking switches and pulling levers.
"So, that's the thirteenth Doctor?"
Martha nodded. "Yeah."
"He seems more open than the other one," Donna observed, "Happier." She leaned back as the thirteenth Doctor stretched across the controls. "Taller."
"No, no, no," the tenth Doctor exclaimed, moving back from the controls. "Something is blocking the scanner for the other TARDIS." He ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up in the air.
"And that's bad, right?" Martha asked, not liking the look on either of the Doctors' faces.
"Of course it's bad. It means that I'll have to spend some more time with my younger self, and while the female company is good..," the thirteenth Doctor said with a cheeky wink in Donna and Martha's direction, grinning when they both blushed and looked at the floor, "I know my tenth self really wants me out of the way. I think he wants you two lovely ladies for himself."
"Stop it. You're as bad as Jack," the tenth Doctor scolded, giving his older self a warning look.
"He is my companion after all," the red haired Doctor said, his green eyes twinkling, "but my 'other' companion keeps him in line, smacking him when he gets out of line. I think he enjoys it," he added in a fond tone of voice.
"This is Jack we're talking about," the other Doctor stated with a grin, "you can bet he does."
"Oh, you know he does," Martha stated, causing Thirteen to laugh, a deep throated laugh that sent shivers down her spine.
"Poor Jack isn't even here to defend himself," Ten said, with a sly smile.
"Stop teasing," Donna said, watching as the two Doctors danced around the console. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Martha admiring the Thirteenth Doctor's body as he leaned over to reach an elusive control switch. Not that she could blame the younger woman.
"Okay," Ten mumbled distractedly, earning a kick up the backside from Thirteen. "Ow! What?" he asked, exasperated by his older self's presence, as he rubbed his behind. "I'm going to let the TARDIS drift in the Vortex for a while. It's set so that if there's even a blip of the other TARDIS, it'll lock onto it." He looked at his companions. "Why don't you go and grab something to eat, get some sleep or whatever," he suggested, watching as Donna and Martha filed out. "You too," he said to the red haired Doctor.
A few hours later, the tenth Doctor peeked in at his thirteenth self as the latter Doctor curled up on the sofa next to Martha. He jumped as Donna sneaked up behind him and also took in the sight. "Must be hard for your future self," Donna commented quietly.
"What?"
"Well, he's out of time and he has to be careful on what he says around you... and falling in love with Martha," Donna observed, as she led the tenth Doctor away to the kitchen. "Oh, come on, Spaceman," she said in a low voice. "Anyone with eyes can see that your future self fancies her. No, scratch that, he definitely loves her. You can see it in his eyes."
The dark haired Doctor raised an eyebrow at his red haired companion. "What? Maybe he's just pleased to see her again. I mean, she is in his past and..," he babbled, feeling jealous of his older self.
"He's not the only one, I think."
"What?!" the Doctor repeated himself. "Who else is in love with Martha?!"
"Denial is not just a river in Egypt," Donna commented, crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk. Her statement seemed to telling the Doctor more, but he wasn't exactly sure what.
"I don't know what you're on about."
"Right, sure you don't," Donna replied sceptically.
"If my Thirteenth self is in love with her, then that's his business," Ten stated. "Why? Do you think she fancies him too?"
"Why she fancied you I don't know, but if she fancies him, I can see why."
"But..," Ten spluttered, looking like a kicked puppy. "I'll just go and set the TARDIS controls for our next destination then," he said, backing away to the control room.
Ten landed the TARDIS with a rough bump. He didn't look up as his older self walked into the control room, followed by Martha and Donna. "We've landed," he said.
"No way, really?" Thirteen asked sarcastically. "I never would've guessed with the bumpiness. I should write you out a traffic ticket."
"Oi stop your arguing or I'm going to hurt you," Donna growled, her tone of voice suggesting that she actually would do it, breaking into the argument.
"Where are we?" Martha questioned, her eyes shining at a possible new adventure.
"Let's find out, shall we?" Ten replied, offering Martha his arm and opening the TARDIS doors.
Behind him, the red headed Doctor offered Donna his arm with a roll of the eyes. He jumped as a loud scream echoed through the air. "Oh, there's trouble. Let's go!" he said, practically pulling Donna through the doors to their next adventure.
The foursome ran to the source of the screams and were met by a woman slumped down against a white painted wall, clutching her stomach. Martha ran over to her and examined her for injuries. A large scratch crossed the woman's chest, but it didn't seem too deep. The woman moaned loud and opened her eyes. "Can you tell me who did this?" Martha asked gently.
"A giant bear. It must've escaped from a zoo or something," the woman panted, before passing out.
Ten scanned the woman with his sonic screwdriver and groaned softly at the results. "Oh wonderful," he sighed, sharing a look with Thirteen. "That was no normal bear."
"You know these aliens?" Donna asked, turning to look at the two Time Lords, who were wearing exasperated expressions on their faces.
"Yeah," Thirteen answered, rolling his eyes. "Ten, remember where the anti-vemon is kept in the Med-Bay? Well go and get it," he ordered, smiling grimly as Ten obeyed him.
"Who are they?" Martha asked. "Are they poisonous?" she asked, recalling the order that he had barked at his tenth self.
"Krevlins," Ten answered, returning with the anti-venom, which he administered to the woman. "She should be alright now," he reassured Martha, handing her some bandages.
"Can we stop them?" Donna asked, watching the efficient way Martha was tending to the patient.
"Oh, you bet," Thirteen replied. "Luckily for us, they are easy to defeat."
"Yep, Thirteen, you go with Martha and Donna, you're with me," Ten said, taking charge. "Thirteen, you and Martha do the device and Donna and I will see to Plan B."
"Right, the Krevlins hate all types of songs," the thirteenth Doctor explained, as he messed around with a device to defeat the invading aliens. The new adventure turned out to be rampaging giant bear-like aliens invading a small town in the south of England. "Some songs have a greater effect on them."
"Like what?" Martha questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"They especially hate Disney, heavy rock..," he replied, "and country music."
"Oh, I'm with the Krevlins on that," Martha answered. "The country music bit."
"What have they got against rock? And what do you have against country?" the Doctor asked, with a quirk of his eyebrows. "If we can lure it over there, then we can rock this joint and disable the critter." he stated, indicating a stage which was thankfully empty at that moment.
"Good plan," Martha said, shooting the Doctor a grin. "And while we're doing that, your tenth self and Donna are working on Plan B."
"Smoking! Then they'll join us for the great performance," the red head Doctor commented, with a grin. "They call me Cuban Pete..."
"That's your plan? Sing so it, what, collapses or something." She flushed as she remembered when she walked into the control room and seeing both Doctors dancing around the control panel and singing 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' at the top of their voices. 'At least they were in tune,' she mused, 'even if their voices weren't exactly suited for that particular song.'
"Yep, isn't it good?" the Doctor answered, tossing Martha the Sonic Screwdriver. "Just in case. If it all goes pear shaped, urgh, I hate that word... activate the screwdriver..."
"I'm going to pass on the singing," Martha said with a shudder.
"Me too," Donna added as she and the tenth Doctor ran over to where Martha and the thirteenth Doctor were. "You sure this half cocked plan will work?"
"Fine," the tenth Doctor said with a shrug. "Have a little faith, Donna. Have I ever failed you yet?"
"Be careful," the thirteenth Doctor said. "They may resemble giant teddy bears but they have poisonous claws and sixteen inch fangs. Definitely something you do not want to snuggle up with."
"You too," Martha replied, giving the two Doctors a smile.
"Well, we better get this show on the road," the younger of the two Doctors broke in with.
"Wish us luck and ready those knickers," the red haired Doctor said cheekily, earning himself a smack on the arm from Donna. "Ow!"
"Dirty Martian," Donna said, hitting him again. "You aren't seeing my knickers!"
"All right! I got the point," Thirteen exclaimed. "Stop hitting me!" he said, grabbing her wrists then letting go of them.
"Here it comes," Martha said, hearing loud footsteps and loud growling getting closer by the second.
"Hit it!" Donna yelled, looking relieved when Thirteen shot her a wink.
"We haven't warmed up," Ten pointed out.
"So? I doubt the aliens are going to criticize your singing," Martha retorted. "This is not the X-Factor."
"Got a song in mind?" Donna wondered.
"Wait and see," Thirteen answered with a sly smile.
"If I was a rich girl," Ten sang teasingly.
"No," Thirteen answered, a faint blush darkening his cheeks. "Nothing against Gwen Stefani, but that's not rock, or Disney."
"Do you really think that the alien would be able to tell the difference?" Ten retorted.
"Rock? Like Def Leppard, Queen, Rolling Stones, The Who, INXS, Aerosmith, that sort of thing?" Martha asked, grinning when Ten nodded.
"I once had a companion that was into Nine Inch Nails," the red headed Doctor explained. "But that's not important right now."
"Oh my God," Donna said as she spotted the oncoming alien. "Get singing."
"Let it get a bit closer," Ten muttered, suddenly slightly nervous about what Martha and Donna would think of his singing. As soon as the alien teddy bear was close enough, he opened his mouth and began singing.
Donna, although she'd never admit it out loud, thought the two Time Lords had nice singing voices. Ten's was slightly higher than Thirteen's deep Scottish accented baritone, but it was pleasing nonetheless.
The Alien blinked, swayed slightly with a low snarl and headed towards the two Time Lords with its claws outstretched in a desperate bid for silence. Before it could reach them, it fell in a heap, stunned.
"Right, well, now that the alien has been dealt with," Donna said bluntly, "can I go home for a bit?"
"What?" Ten answered, blinking at her. "Okay," he said finally, looking slightly upset.
"Don't worry, I'll be back. Go have a picnic or something."
A few hours, later Martha, Ten and Thirteen were lying on a brightly coloured blanket in the middle of a field, somewhere in the countryside. Thirteen had discarded his long black coat and was wearing just a short sleeved shirt and black trousers. Ten had removed his coat and was using it as a pillow. Martha was lying in between them, wearing a pair of denim shorts and a sleeveless top.
"This is peaceful," Martha said, keeping her eyes shut against the Sun's glare.
"Yep, nothing could possibly go wrong," Ten commented, shifting to look at the other two.
"You've just jinxed us now," Thirteen grumbled in a good natured way, as he leaned over Martha to smack his younger self on the arm.
"Hey!" Ten protested, waving an arm around him, "what could possibly happen here?" A tickling sensation appeared on his hand and he looked down. "Yuck!" he exclaimed, flicking the ants, that were crawling on his hand, off and stood up to see an army of ants crossing the blanket.
"Well, Martha could end up with ants in her shorts," Thirteen said, looking down at Martha's legs.
Martha yelped and stood up, hurriedly brushing her legs with her hands. "Urgh!"
"Time to go, I think," Thirteen said, giving the blanket a good shake. "If it's not bloody wasps, it's bloody ants." He rolled it up after making sure that it was ant free and the three of them headed back towards the TARDIS.
"Yeah, think Donna's had long enough?" Ten wondered, eager to go to the next adventure.
"Hmm, maybe," Martha replied, pausing every few steps to brush her legs in case of any stray ants that she might've missed.
The tenth Doctor stared as a rift in mid-air opened up in front of them and a blonde figure in a black combat suit fell out. "Ow!" the figure said in a London accent. "What the Hell...?" she asked, looking around and pressing a finger against her ear. "Jake? Mickey? Anyone?" she asked and sighing when she didn't get an answer.
"Rose?" the tenth Doctor squeaked, surprisingly loud enough for her to hear.
Rose turned to face him and grinned at him, before he rushed over and hugged her tightly. "Doctor?"
She noticed a pretty dark skinned woman watching them. "A new companion, Doctor?" she asked, sounding pleased that the Doctor had found someone to be with.
"This is Doctor Martha Jones," the red haired Doctor introduced. "Martha, this is Rose. You both know I'm the thirteenth Doctor. And please no fighting..."
"Hi," Rose said with a grin. "So, two Doctors together? Isn't that bad? I mean, two versions of the same Doctor?"
Martha rolled her eyes, not bothering to dredge up any hatred for the younger girl in front of her. "God, yeah, Thirteen has misplaced his TARDIS and we have to help him find it. Him and the other Doctor are usually at each other's throats."
"We are not!" the thirteenth Doctor protested.
"We need to have Jack to even the score," Ten agreed.
"Wait 'til you meet Donna," Martha said, gleefully. "She slaps the Doctor... a lot."
"Mum slapped him," Rose stated, sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she grinned mischievously.
"So did mine," Martha said with a laugh.
"Oh, we'd rather you were fighting," both Doctors said. "How's Torchwood in the alternate universe?"
"Oh, it's great. Can you send me back?" Rose asked, not missing the way the tenth Doctor's face fell. "I missed you, but I moved on and, I found someone."
"Oh. Okay," the dark haired Doctor answered, "but as the rift is shut for the moment, it looks like you're stuck with us for now."
"And what a motley crew we are too," the thirteenth Doctor commented. "Three woman, two Time Lords, and..."
"Jack in a pear tree?" Martha suggested, noticing the disgusted faces the tenth Doctor was pulling. "Sorry, I forgot, you don't like pears, do you, Doctor?"
"No! Right, let's go and pick up Donna and Jack, and then we can have a nice little adventure," the red haired Doctor said, before the tenth Doctor could launch into a tirade against pears.
After Donna and Jack had been picked up, the thirteenth Doctor turned to his four companions, and younger self and grinned. "Where would you like to go?"
"Some place where we're not running for our lives," Martha answered. "Although, that last planet we were on had distinct possibilities."
"For you, maybe," the tenth Doctor grumbled, "You weren't the ones being forced to walk around naked because the males on that planet weren't allowed to wear clothes. One experience I would like to forget."
"Oh, I dunno, it was an... interesting experience," the red haired Doctor stated, "but not one I'm likely to repeat any time soon."
"It was fun," Jack agreed with a grin.
"The Doctor neglected to mention it," Donna explained to Rose. "Males were thought to be inferior and just for breeding."
Rose stifled a giggle. "Shame I missed it."
"You would've really liked it," Martha said, not caring that the three men could hear every word.
"We had to pretend they belonged to us," Donna cut in. "We didn't want anyone else to get their hands on them."
"So there the three of them are, naked but fitted with collars and leashes. We had to get a part for the TARDIS so we couldn't leave straight away..."
"How could you forget where you left your TARDIS?" the tenth Doctor growled to his older self.
"I told you, time is very wibbly-wobbly and when we got to where I remember where the TARDIS is, it had been moved. Time is in flux and it totally sucks. Oooh, that rhymed," the thirteenth Doctor answered.
"Come on, I need a coffee," Jack interjected, before the two Doctors ended up at each other's throats. "I'll make you two some tea."
"Oh my God!" Rose exclaimed, not noticing that the men in question had sneaked out and had retreated to the kitchen.
"We got to whip them if they got out of line," Donna interjected. "They seemed to enjoy that bit..."
"So what did they look like... you know, naked?" Rose was dying to know.
"You mean, you never...?" Martha questioned, looking shocked when Rose shook her head.
"Well?" Rose prompted. "What are they like?"
"Gorgeous," Martha answered. "You wouldn't think it but the thirteenth Doctor is quite muscular under those black clothes he wears and has a couple of tattoos on his body. Jack is well, as you'd expect, and the Doctor... Mmm, very nice."
"No small fry there," Donna added, giving a very dirty laugh.
Rose soon found herself swapping stories with Martha and Donna, and soon they were giggling at the three men's escapades.
Much later, Rose couldn't contain herself any longer. "Can I see you three naked?" she blurted out, surprising the three males. "It's only fair."
"She's right," Jack realised. "She's the only one who hasn't seen us naked."
"Jack!" both Doctors exclaimed at the same time.
"What?"
"Regardless of what you think, I don't drop my trousers at every opportunity," the tenth Doctor grumbled, holding up his hand when the red haired Doctor opened his mouth, presumably to contradict him. "Don't you dare..."
"Oh, come on, as much as I love my girlfriend, if you think I'm going back to the alternate universe, without seeing you drop your trousers first, you have another think coming," Rose protested, causing the tenth Doctor to choke on his tea and Jack to raise an eyebrow.
"Told you, Jack," the thirteenth Doctor mumbled with a cheeky grin.
"Wait! You have a girlfriend?" the tenth Doctor asked, obviously stuck on that small announcement. He turned to Jack. "You knew?"
"Your red haired self told me," Jack answered, his grin widening when the thirteenth Doctor nodded. "Did you at least get a look in?"
"No."
"About the seeing you naked," Rose stated, "can I?"
"If you two tight-laced time lords aren't willing to do it," Jack said, "at least I will."
"Well, go on then," Rose said impatiently.
"How about later?" Thirteen asked, smiling at her. "You see my younger self is a little self conscious about his body..."
"Am not. I don't see you rushing to drop your trousers any time soon," Ten replied, scowling at his older self.
"We'll discuss this later," Thirteen promised. "Don't worry Rose, you will get your wish before either of us leave."
Onto Chapter 2
Title: The Thirteenth Doctor (Technically) Chronicles
Author: Jade
Rating: R
Archive: Yes, please
Characters: Ten, Thirteen, Rose, Martha, Donna and Jack
Pairings: Multiple pairings, both Het and slash
Spoilers: During season 4. AU after Forest of the Dead.
Summary: The crazy adventures of the thirteenth Doctor after he loses his TARDIS and he has to join forces with his tenth self to find it.
Beta'ed by the awesome persiflage_1 who made it flow better and managed to make sense of my ramblings.
Reviews are welcome!!! (I tend to squee every time I get a review!)
"Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?" a male voice to the left of the Doctor asked, breaking into the Doctor's dark mood. The Doctor turned to be faced with holly green eyes set in a handsome face framed with dark red hair worn in a shaggy mane and curling at the ends. The Doctor knew instantly that this was a future regeneration of his and discovered a spark of jealousy deep inside because of the red hair that the other Doctor was sporting.
"Whatever," the Doctor said softly, not reacting as the red haired Doctor sat down beside him. "You shouldn't be here."
"If I wasn't here, that would be bad, but as it stands, the universe is safe for another day. That's the thing about paradoxes, you really have to tidy them up or everything becomes unravelled like a dropped stitch in the knitted jumper of the space time continuum."
"So what do you want?"
"Still rude, I see," the other Doctor grumbled. "Martha," he said plainly.
"What about her?"
"Look, you idiot, I'm you and I know you're hurting but you have to tell her how you feel about her."
"I... can't."
"You can. If you can't manage those three little words, you could at least tell her the truth."
"What?"
"And you say you're smart," the future Doctor growled, rolling his eyes. "She said that you, or rather I, never saw her and we both know that's a lie. Go and talk to her..."
"If I do that, if I open up to her, it'll hurt even more when she leaves me again," the Doctor answered, running his hands through his hair. "Which of my regenerations are you?"
"Technically, I'm the thirteenth, and no, I won't tell you what your other regenerations look like," the thirteenth Doctor answered, fixing the Doctor with a piercing glare. "Now go and talk to her. Would it help your 'so called courage' if I said that the universe depends on your talking to her?"
*****
Martha accepted her drink from Jack, and smiled as he sat down on the other side of her. "So, you don't miss the Doctor at all?" Jack asked, clinking his glass against hers.
"A tiny bit," Martha admitted, taking a sip, "but I had to get out of there before I got hurt. It's time for me to move on."
"Good for you," Jack said with a smile. "By the way, the red head by the bar has been eyeing you up for a while now."
Martha turned and saw a red headed man in a long black coat, slouched on the stool as if he owned the place. He smiled and raised his glass at her.
"He's coming over." Jack said with a grin. "Get in there." he teased, earning a smack on the shoulder from Martha.
The red head walked over and stood between Jack and Martha. "Hello Martha," he stated with another smile. "Jack."
"How do you know us?" Martha asked, warily eyeing this new arrival, who looked to be a sort of relation to the Doctor that she knew. She was struck by the man's dark green eyes. There was something familiar about him and it wasn't just the facial features that caused her to have a case of deja vu.
"Come on, don't you recognise an old friend?" the red head asked. "Although granted I'm kind of different than I was before." He grabbed Martha's hands and placed them on either side of his chest. Martha was aware of a double heartbeat under her hands. "I remember when I first met you in the hospital..."
"Doctor?" Martha asked, finally guessing who this stranger was. She smiled when he nodded and grabbed her in a hug, lifting her off her feet. "Have you regenerated?"
"Well, a few times since I saw you last," the Doctor admitted. "Well, you'll see my tenth self again, so don't panic, he's not due to regenerate for a long while yet."
"Which one are you?" Jack asked, finally joining the conversation. "I thought you completely changed your face, not just a few features."
"As I told my tenth self, I'm technically the thirteenth." The Doctor ran his hands through the thick red mane of hair in a gesture that Martha recognised as belonging to his tenth self. "What's wrong with my face?"
"Well, you sorta look like your tenth self, except for the red hair, green eyes, the fact that you look to be more muscular and you're taller than you were," Martha pointed out. "Your accent is different too. What is that, Scottish and London mix?"
"It's a long story," the Doctor answered, giving Martha a smile. "A story I can't reveal without endangering the timeline. I can say that I've grown quite fond of my tenth self's face, but..."
"Wait! You met your tenth self? Isn't that against the laws or something?" Jack questioned with a rise of the eyebrows.
"No, because I remember it happening so I had to close the loop." The Doctor grinned. "Oh, and Martha, don't let my tenth self get you down. He's incapable of expressing his inner emotions sometimes but... He needs a kick in the behind sometimes when he's being insensitive."
"I like this look on you. Love the black leather look... All that's missing are a few tattoos," Jack stated, as he gave the thirteenth Doctor a once over.
"Stop it, Jack," the Doctor said in a teasing tone. "Besides, what makes you think I don't have any tattoos?"
Jack turned to the Doctor. "Doctor? Can I speak to you in private for a minute?" he asked in a 'do not argue' tone of voice. The Doctor nodded and Jack grabbed his sleeve. "Excuse us for a moment, Martha." Jack dragged the Doctor into the men's room and let go of him. "All right, what are you really doing here?"
"What makes you think I've got an hidden motive for being here? Can't I pop in and see two old friends without having a reason?" the Doctor asked, watching Jack pace in front of him.
"I know that unless there was a threat of alien invasions, you hardly ever catch up with your old companions."
"The tenth me might not, but I do," the Doctor spluttered, looking offended. "Why, I saw Rose not so long ago... I fell through a crack into her universe... Anyway, she's moved on and has a, um, partner," the Doctor's cheeks turned slightly red.
Jack grinned. "Really?"
"I'm happy for her." Jack fixed him with a look. "Really."
"What's his name?"
"Her name is Gwen. Not your Gwen, the alternate one," the Doctor replied.
Jack's eyebrows crawled up his forehead. "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to see Martha."
"Oh really? Why?"
"Well, because... I care for her and my tenth self is an arse for letting her think otherwise. That's why I went to see my tenth self. He needed that kick."
"So you told your tenth self to tell her that he cares for her before it's too late?" Jack stated, getting a nod in reply. "Well, let's go and see her before she feels abandoned."
"Don't tell her what we were talking about. At least not yet." The Doctor said, as Jack opened the door.
"So who are you travelling with now?"
The Doctor just gave him a sly grin in reply as they walked over to where Martha was sitting. "Wait and see."
As Martha waited for Jack and the thirteenth Doctor to return she fiddled with her beer mat, then she jumped as someone called her name. She looked up to come face to face with the tenth Doctor. "Doctor!" she squeaked, pulling him into a hug. "What brings you here?"
"I was in the area and just thought I'd stop by," the Doctor said, squashing her in a huge bear hug.
"Oh, and it has nothing to do with your thirteenth self popping in a little while ago?" Martha asked suspiciously as the Doctor let go of her.
"He came to see you too? Can you believe he's ginger? That is not fair! And that long black coat. He stole that piece of fashion statement from me..." The Doctor paused mid-babble and looked at her. "What did he tell you?"
"Hardly anything. I got the feeling that he told Jack more than me." Martha paused. "What did he say to you? He did say that he went to see you and something about closing a loop."
"Hmm, he gave me a knitting analogy." The Doctor paused, deciding to tell her. Purely to get his thirteenth self off his back and for the sake of the universe. "Martha, I'm..," he trailed off, with a sigh, unable to get the words out. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I made you feel second best," he tried again. "I only take the best with me." He offered her a shy smile.
Martha wasn't expecting that and she stared in shock for a moment. "I know, but thanks for saying it." she managed. "Why do I get the feeling there's more?"
"When you said I didn't see you, you were wrong," the Doctor admitted with a smile. "I may be a Time Lord, but I definitely am not blind and my thirteenth self reminded me of that."
Martha smiled at Ten and then noticed Thirteen and Jack coming back from their chat. "Hello Jack," Ten said, nodding at the ex-Time Agent. "Thirteen," he added with a look to his older self.
"Finally got round to it then?" Thirteen questioned, indicating Martha. "See? I was right, you do need a boot up the backside now and again."
"Hey! No need for fighting here," Jack interjected, watching as Ten bristled like an angry cat. "Although, if you want to start naked mud-wrestling..."
Ten ignored him. "So, what do you say, Martha? One more trip for old times?" he asked, a hopeful look on his face.
"Come back in the morning and ask me then," Martha replied with a slight smile. She was hoping to make the tenth Doctor work for it. "I want to be sober for this."
"Well, I'm off," Thirteen said, breaking into the conversation. "Places to go, planets to save," he said with a shrug. He enveloped Martha in a huge hug, almost lifting her off the ground and then did the same to Jack. He gave his tenth self a polite nod before turning to leave.
"So that's a 'no' is it?" the remaining Doctor asked, once the red headed Time Lord had left, looking downcast. "Jack, tell her."
"It's Martha's decision, not mine," Jack said, raising his arms in a 'nothing to do with me' way.
"The way I heard it, she hasn't exactly turned you down yet," he pointed out. "She just wants you to come back in the morning."
"Okay," Ten said finally. "I'll come back in the morning. She misses you, you know."
"Not too early, mind you," Martha ordered, with a hint of a smile playing over her face. "I miss her too."
"What about you, Captain? Fancy a trip?" Ten asked, turning to Jack.
"Hmm, maybe in a few days time," Jack answered with a grin. "It's not a 'no', just a maybe."
"All right, I'll see you in the morning, Martha," he said, giving her a cheery smile. "I'll tell Donna you said 'hi' shall I?"
"Yeah," Martha answered, knowing what her answer would be, but enjoying making the Doctor squirm. She smiled as she found herself swept up in one of the Doctor's exuberant hugs. "Don't be a stranger," she said, suddenly missing the feel of the Doctor's coat against her cheek. "Where is Donna anyway?"
"Oh, she's fine, just recovering from the last adventure," the Doctor replied airily, letting her go reluctantly. "She was asleep when I came here. I better get back before she wakes up."
"Sneaking out without telling her?" Jack said. "Very sneaky." He smirked. "You two make a cute couple," he added, although Martha was unclear on which two Jack meant and she knew he would not clarify this if she asked.
Jack let out a 'oof' as the Doctor pulled him in for a hug, although not as bone-crushing as the Thirteenth Doctor's, it still knocked the breath out of him.
"Behave Jack," the Doctor's voice said in his ear before releasing him. "I'll see you in the morning, Martha. See you soon, Captain," he said, addressing Jack.
The next morning, Martha was woken up from a nice dream of a planet made completely out of candy floss by the TARDIS engines. "If it's three o'clock in the morning, I will kill him," she grumbled as she rolled over to look at the clock. The clock read five twenty am which she wasn't sure was much better. She flung back the bedclothes and marched into the lounge. The TARDIS was parked in between her sofa and the television and seemed to have swallowed her coffee table. The door of the time machine swung open and the Doctor stuck his head out. "Hello, Martha," he said with a cheery smile.
"Do you know what time it is?" Martha growled, causing the smile to slip off his face.
"Uh, seven? Eight?" the Doctor said warily, ready to duck his head back in if she started throwing things at him.
"Oi, move aside, spaceman," Donna said, shoving him out of the way as she exited the TARDIS. "Sorry, about him. I think he sets the TARDIS clock an hour fast or something," she said, rolling her eyes. "Cup of tea?" she asked, defusing the situation before it could escalate.
"Tea? I'd love a cuppa," the Doctor said, bounding out of the TARDIS. "You got those little chocolate biccies that I like?"
"I wasn't asking you," Donna shot back, with a roll of the eyes. "Martha?"
"I'll do that," Martha protested following the red headed woman into the kitchen.
"Nonsense, you go and sit down. He needs an answer anyway," Donna said, indicating the lounge with the kettle as she filled it with water. "I hope you say yes. While Skinny's all right, I want to have someone I can have 'Girl Talk' with."
"All right," Martha agreed with a devillish smile.
"Make him squirm a bit first before you give him the answer," Donna said as Martha was near the door of the kitchen.
"You live to make him squirm, don't you?"
"Yeah, pretty much," Donna agreed, watching as the pretty young doctor made her way out to the Doctor.
The Doctor looked up from where he was scanning Martha's DVD shelf. "Made your decision yet?"
"Mmm, maybe. Let me have my tea first," Martha said, "and sit down, you're making the place look untidy."
"Hmm?" The Doctor asked distractedly. He pulled out a DVD and held it up. "War of the Worlds? Honestly, Martha..."
"Doctor! For God's sake, put your arse to an anchor!" Martha exclaimed, snapping his attention back to her.
"Oh," the Doctor said softly, obediently sitting down in a squishy brown armchair.
"Good, now stay," Martha said. "I'm going to help Donna."
A few minutes later, Donna and Martha both came out with the teas and Martha carefully handed a dark blue mug to the Doctor. "Careful, it's hot," she said, as the Doctor drew in a pained breath and quickly placed the cup on the floor.
"Have you made up your mind yet?" the Doctor asked, blowing on his fingers.
"You're very impatient, aren't you?" Martha replied, taking a sip out of her own cup.
"Please say 'yes'," the Doctor begged. "Donna'd love you to be on board."
"Yeah," Donna agreed, secretly enjoying the way the Doctor was squirming as he waited for a reply. "We both would."
"Well..," Martha began, breaking off as there was a loud bang on her front door. "Who the Hell is that at this time in the morning?"
"I'll go," the Doctor offered, standing up.
"No, I might need you for back up," Martha said, grabbing something that could be used as a weapon. "Stay here." She marched over to the front door and opened it slightly to come face to face with the thirteenth Doctor. "What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?" The red haired Doctor asked, looking slightly embarrassed. He quickly slipped in as she opened the door so he could enter.
"Who is it?" Ten asked, coming to see who the new arrival is. "Oh, it's you."
"Yeah, me. I need your help," Thirteen said, making his way into the lounge. "While it's embarrassing to ask for help from your younger self, I need to. Oh, hello, Donna," he said, as he passed her. He walked into the TARDIS, pausing to stroke the door. "Hello, Old Girl," he said, getting a hum in reply. "Yikes, I'm going to have to get used to this old desktop again," he said, looking around at the coral struts and green lighting. "No offence, of course," he muttered as Donna, Martha and Ten followed him in.
"Who the Hell are you?" Donna demanded, wary of this green eyed stranger who had just entered the TARDIS as if it belonged to him and was now messing with the controls.
"I'm the Doctor, thirteenth to be exact and I need your help in finding my TARDIS," Thirteen answered, looking up from where he was stroking the console. "I've kinda misplaced her."
"What do you mean 'you've lost your TARDIS'?" the tenth Doctor demanded, glaring at his thirteenth self. "How the Hell can you lose a TARDIS?"
"I didn't lose it, it was taken from me," the thirteenth Doctor answered, his green eyes flashing as he scowled at his younger self. "You need to help me get it back."
"Why?"
The thirteenth Doctor stepped closer to his younger self. "Because if you don't, I will be in your hair forever more." He cast a look at the brown haired Doctor's hair with an unreadable expression on his face. "And judging by the looks of it, you don't need any more things in that untamed mess you call hair."
Brown eyes met green with a steely look. "Fine!" the tenth Doctor growled, moving away from his older self. He cast a look at Donna and Martha, who were giving the two Time Lords a wary look. "Well, come on, let's find my older self his TARDIS and then send him on his way."
Donna watched the older of the two Time Lords as they scampered around the tenth Doctor's control panel, flicking switches and pulling levers.
"So, that's the thirteenth Doctor?"
Martha nodded. "Yeah."
"He seems more open than the other one," Donna observed, "Happier." She leaned back as the thirteenth Doctor stretched across the controls. "Taller."
"No, no, no," the tenth Doctor exclaimed, moving back from the controls. "Something is blocking the scanner for the other TARDIS." He ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up in the air.
"And that's bad, right?" Martha asked, not liking the look on either of the Doctors' faces.
"Of course it's bad. It means that I'll have to spend some more time with my younger self, and while the female company is good..," the thirteenth Doctor said with a cheeky wink in Donna and Martha's direction, grinning when they both blushed and looked at the floor, "I know my tenth self really wants me out of the way. I think he wants you two lovely ladies for himself."
"Stop it. You're as bad as Jack," the tenth Doctor scolded, giving his older self a warning look.
"He is my companion after all," the red haired Doctor said, his green eyes twinkling, "but my 'other' companion keeps him in line, smacking him when he gets out of line. I think he enjoys it," he added in a fond tone of voice.
"This is Jack we're talking about," the other Doctor stated with a grin, "you can bet he does."
"Oh, you know he does," Martha stated, causing Thirteen to laugh, a deep throated laugh that sent shivers down her spine.
"Poor Jack isn't even here to defend himself," Ten said, with a sly smile.
"Stop teasing," Donna said, watching as the two Doctors danced around the console. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Martha admiring the Thirteenth Doctor's body as he leaned over to reach an elusive control switch. Not that she could blame the younger woman.
"Okay," Ten mumbled distractedly, earning a kick up the backside from Thirteen. "Ow! What?" he asked, exasperated by his older self's presence, as he rubbed his behind. "I'm going to let the TARDIS drift in the Vortex for a while. It's set so that if there's even a blip of the other TARDIS, it'll lock onto it." He looked at his companions. "Why don't you go and grab something to eat, get some sleep or whatever," he suggested, watching as Donna and Martha filed out. "You too," he said to the red haired Doctor.
A few hours later, the tenth Doctor peeked in at his thirteenth self as the latter Doctor curled up on the sofa next to Martha. He jumped as Donna sneaked up behind him and also took in the sight. "Must be hard for your future self," Donna commented quietly.
"What?"
"Well, he's out of time and he has to be careful on what he says around you... and falling in love with Martha," Donna observed, as she led the tenth Doctor away to the kitchen. "Oh, come on, Spaceman," she said in a low voice. "Anyone with eyes can see that your future self fancies her. No, scratch that, he definitely loves her. You can see it in his eyes."
The dark haired Doctor raised an eyebrow at his red haired companion. "What? Maybe he's just pleased to see her again. I mean, she is in his past and..," he babbled, feeling jealous of his older self.
"He's not the only one, I think."
"What?!" the Doctor repeated himself. "Who else is in love with Martha?!"
"Denial is not just a river in Egypt," Donna commented, crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk. Her statement seemed to telling the Doctor more, but he wasn't exactly sure what.
"I don't know what you're on about."
"Right, sure you don't," Donna replied sceptically.
"If my Thirteenth self is in love with her, then that's his business," Ten stated. "Why? Do you think she fancies him too?"
"Why she fancied you I don't know, but if she fancies him, I can see why."
"But..," Ten spluttered, looking like a kicked puppy. "I'll just go and set the TARDIS controls for our next destination then," he said, backing away to the control room.
Ten landed the TARDIS with a rough bump. He didn't look up as his older self walked into the control room, followed by Martha and Donna. "We've landed," he said.
"No way, really?" Thirteen asked sarcastically. "I never would've guessed with the bumpiness. I should write you out a traffic ticket."
"Oi stop your arguing or I'm going to hurt you," Donna growled, her tone of voice suggesting that she actually would do it, breaking into the argument.
"Where are we?" Martha questioned, her eyes shining at a possible new adventure.
"Let's find out, shall we?" Ten replied, offering Martha his arm and opening the TARDIS doors.
Behind him, the red headed Doctor offered Donna his arm with a roll of the eyes. He jumped as a loud scream echoed through the air. "Oh, there's trouble. Let's go!" he said, practically pulling Donna through the doors to their next adventure.
The foursome ran to the source of the screams and were met by a woman slumped down against a white painted wall, clutching her stomach. Martha ran over to her and examined her for injuries. A large scratch crossed the woman's chest, but it didn't seem too deep. The woman moaned loud and opened her eyes. "Can you tell me who did this?" Martha asked gently.
"A giant bear. It must've escaped from a zoo or something," the woman panted, before passing out.
Ten scanned the woman with his sonic screwdriver and groaned softly at the results. "Oh wonderful," he sighed, sharing a look with Thirteen. "That was no normal bear."
"You know these aliens?" Donna asked, turning to look at the two Time Lords, who were wearing exasperated expressions on their faces.
"Yeah," Thirteen answered, rolling his eyes. "Ten, remember where the anti-vemon is kept in the Med-Bay? Well go and get it," he ordered, smiling grimly as Ten obeyed him.
"Who are they?" Martha asked. "Are they poisonous?" she asked, recalling the order that he had barked at his tenth self.
"Krevlins," Ten answered, returning with the anti-venom, which he administered to the woman. "She should be alright now," he reassured Martha, handing her some bandages.
"Can we stop them?" Donna asked, watching the efficient way Martha was tending to the patient.
"Oh, you bet," Thirteen replied. "Luckily for us, they are easy to defeat."
"Yep, Thirteen, you go with Martha and Donna, you're with me," Ten said, taking charge. "Thirteen, you and Martha do the device and Donna and I will see to Plan B."
"Right, the Krevlins hate all types of songs," the thirteenth Doctor explained, as he messed around with a device to defeat the invading aliens. The new adventure turned out to be rampaging giant bear-like aliens invading a small town in the south of England. "Some songs have a greater effect on them."
"Like what?" Martha questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"They especially hate Disney, heavy rock..," he replied, "and country music."
"Oh, I'm with the Krevlins on that," Martha answered. "The country music bit."
"What have they got against rock? And what do you have against country?" the Doctor asked, with a quirk of his eyebrows. "If we can lure it over there, then we can rock this joint and disable the critter." he stated, indicating a stage which was thankfully empty at that moment.
"Good plan," Martha said, shooting the Doctor a grin. "And while we're doing that, your tenth self and Donna are working on Plan B."
"Smoking! Then they'll join us for the great performance," the red head Doctor commented, with a grin. "They call me Cuban Pete..."
"That's your plan? Sing so it, what, collapses or something." She flushed as she remembered when she walked into the control room and seeing both Doctors dancing around the control panel and singing 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' at the top of their voices. 'At least they were in tune,' she mused, 'even if their voices weren't exactly suited for that particular song.'
"Yep, isn't it good?" the Doctor answered, tossing Martha the Sonic Screwdriver. "Just in case. If it all goes pear shaped, urgh, I hate that word... activate the screwdriver..."
"I'm going to pass on the singing," Martha said with a shudder.
"Me too," Donna added as she and the tenth Doctor ran over to where Martha and the thirteenth Doctor were. "You sure this half cocked plan will work?"
"Fine," the tenth Doctor said with a shrug. "Have a little faith, Donna. Have I ever failed you yet?"
"Be careful," the thirteenth Doctor said. "They may resemble giant teddy bears but they have poisonous claws and sixteen inch fangs. Definitely something you do not want to snuggle up with."
"You too," Martha replied, giving the two Doctors a smile.
"Well, we better get this show on the road," the younger of the two Doctors broke in with.
"Wish us luck and ready those knickers," the red haired Doctor said cheekily, earning himself a smack on the arm from Donna. "Ow!"
"Dirty Martian," Donna said, hitting him again. "You aren't seeing my knickers!"
"All right! I got the point," Thirteen exclaimed. "Stop hitting me!" he said, grabbing her wrists then letting go of them.
"Here it comes," Martha said, hearing loud footsteps and loud growling getting closer by the second.
"Hit it!" Donna yelled, looking relieved when Thirteen shot her a wink.
"We haven't warmed up," Ten pointed out.
"So? I doubt the aliens are going to criticize your singing," Martha retorted. "This is not the X-Factor."
"Got a song in mind?" Donna wondered.
"Wait and see," Thirteen answered with a sly smile.
"If I was a rich girl," Ten sang teasingly.
"No," Thirteen answered, a faint blush darkening his cheeks. "Nothing against Gwen Stefani, but that's not rock, or Disney."
"Do you really think that the alien would be able to tell the difference?" Ten retorted.
"Rock? Like Def Leppard, Queen, Rolling Stones, The Who, INXS, Aerosmith, that sort of thing?" Martha asked, grinning when Ten nodded.
"I once had a companion that was into Nine Inch Nails," the red headed Doctor explained. "But that's not important right now."
"Oh my God," Donna said as she spotted the oncoming alien. "Get singing."
"Let it get a bit closer," Ten muttered, suddenly slightly nervous about what Martha and Donna would think of his singing. As soon as the alien teddy bear was close enough, he opened his mouth and began singing.
Donna, although she'd never admit it out loud, thought the two Time Lords had nice singing voices. Ten's was slightly higher than Thirteen's deep Scottish accented baritone, but it was pleasing nonetheless.
The Alien blinked, swayed slightly with a low snarl and headed towards the two Time Lords with its claws outstretched in a desperate bid for silence. Before it could reach them, it fell in a heap, stunned.
"Right, well, now that the alien has been dealt with," Donna said bluntly, "can I go home for a bit?"
"What?" Ten answered, blinking at her. "Okay," he said finally, looking slightly upset.
"Don't worry, I'll be back. Go have a picnic or something."
A few hours, later Martha, Ten and Thirteen were lying on a brightly coloured blanket in the middle of a field, somewhere in the countryside. Thirteen had discarded his long black coat and was wearing just a short sleeved shirt and black trousers. Ten had removed his coat and was using it as a pillow. Martha was lying in between them, wearing a pair of denim shorts and a sleeveless top.
"This is peaceful," Martha said, keeping her eyes shut against the Sun's glare.
"Yep, nothing could possibly go wrong," Ten commented, shifting to look at the other two.
"You've just jinxed us now," Thirteen grumbled in a good natured way, as he leaned over Martha to smack his younger self on the arm.
"Hey!" Ten protested, waving an arm around him, "what could possibly happen here?" A tickling sensation appeared on his hand and he looked down. "Yuck!" he exclaimed, flicking the ants, that were crawling on his hand, off and stood up to see an army of ants crossing the blanket.
"Well, Martha could end up with ants in her shorts," Thirteen said, looking down at Martha's legs.
Martha yelped and stood up, hurriedly brushing her legs with her hands. "Urgh!"
"Time to go, I think," Thirteen said, giving the blanket a good shake. "If it's not bloody wasps, it's bloody ants." He rolled it up after making sure that it was ant free and the three of them headed back towards the TARDIS.
"Yeah, think Donna's had long enough?" Ten wondered, eager to go to the next adventure.
"Hmm, maybe," Martha replied, pausing every few steps to brush her legs in case of any stray ants that she might've missed.
The tenth Doctor stared as a rift in mid-air opened up in front of them and a blonde figure in a black combat suit fell out. "Ow!" the figure said in a London accent. "What the Hell...?" she asked, looking around and pressing a finger against her ear. "Jake? Mickey? Anyone?" she asked and sighing when she didn't get an answer.
"Rose?" the tenth Doctor squeaked, surprisingly loud enough for her to hear.
Rose turned to face him and grinned at him, before he rushed over and hugged her tightly. "Doctor?"
She noticed a pretty dark skinned woman watching them. "A new companion, Doctor?" she asked, sounding pleased that the Doctor had found someone to be with.
"This is Doctor Martha Jones," the red haired Doctor introduced. "Martha, this is Rose. You both know I'm the thirteenth Doctor. And please no fighting..."
"Hi," Rose said with a grin. "So, two Doctors together? Isn't that bad? I mean, two versions of the same Doctor?"
Martha rolled her eyes, not bothering to dredge up any hatred for the younger girl in front of her. "God, yeah, Thirteen has misplaced his TARDIS and we have to help him find it. Him and the other Doctor are usually at each other's throats."
"We are not!" the thirteenth Doctor protested.
"We need to have Jack to even the score," Ten agreed.
"Wait 'til you meet Donna," Martha said, gleefully. "She slaps the Doctor... a lot."
"Mum slapped him," Rose stated, sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she grinned mischievously.
"So did mine," Martha said with a laugh.
"Oh, we'd rather you were fighting," both Doctors said. "How's Torchwood in the alternate universe?"
"Oh, it's great. Can you send me back?" Rose asked, not missing the way the tenth Doctor's face fell. "I missed you, but I moved on and, I found someone."
"Oh. Okay," the dark haired Doctor answered, "but as the rift is shut for the moment, it looks like you're stuck with us for now."
"And what a motley crew we are too," the thirteenth Doctor commented. "Three woman, two Time Lords, and..."
"Jack in a pear tree?" Martha suggested, noticing the disgusted faces the tenth Doctor was pulling. "Sorry, I forgot, you don't like pears, do you, Doctor?"
"No! Right, let's go and pick up Donna and Jack, and then we can have a nice little adventure," the red haired Doctor said, before the tenth Doctor could launch into a tirade against pears.
After Donna and Jack had been picked up, the thirteenth Doctor turned to his four companions, and younger self and grinned. "Where would you like to go?"
"Some place where we're not running for our lives," Martha answered. "Although, that last planet we were on had distinct possibilities."
"For you, maybe," the tenth Doctor grumbled, "You weren't the ones being forced to walk around naked because the males on that planet weren't allowed to wear clothes. One experience I would like to forget."
"Oh, I dunno, it was an... interesting experience," the red haired Doctor stated, "but not one I'm likely to repeat any time soon."
"It was fun," Jack agreed with a grin.
"The Doctor neglected to mention it," Donna explained to Rose. "Males were thought to be inferior and just for breeding."
Rose stifled a giggle. "Shame I missed it."
"You would've really liked it," Martha said, not caring that the three men could hear every word.
"We had to pretend they belonged to us," Donna cut in. "We didn't want anyone else to get their hands on them."
"So there the three of them are, naked but fitted with collars and leashes. We had to get a part for the TARDIS so we couldn't leave straight away..."
"How could you forget where you left your TARDIS?" the tenth Doctor growled to his older self.
"I told you, time is very wibbly-wobbly and when we got to where I remember where the TARDIS is, it had been moved. Time is in flux and it totally sucks. Oooh, that rhymed," the thirteenth Doctor answered.
"Come on, I need a coffee," Jack interjected, before the two Doctors ended up at each other's throats. "I'll make you two some tea."
"Oh my God!" Rose exclaimed, not noticing that the men in question had sneaked out and had retreated to the kitchen.
"We got to whip them if they got out of line," Donna interjected. "They seemed to enjoy that bit..."
"So what did they look like... you know, naked?" Rose was dying to know.
"You mean, you never...?" Martha questioned, looking shocked when Rose shook her head.
"Well?" Rose prompted. "What are they like?"
"Gorgeous," Martha answered. "You wouldn't think it but the thirteenth Doctor is quite muscular under those black clothes he wears and has a couple of tattoos on his body. Jack is well, as you'd expect, and the Doctor... Mmm, very nice."
"No small fry there," Donna added, giving a very dirty laugh.
Rose soon found herself swapping stories with Martha and Donna, and soon they were giggling at the three men's escapades.
Much later, Rose couldn't contain herself any longer. "Can I see you three naked?" she blurted out, surprising the three males. "It's only fair."
"She's right," Jack realised. "She's the only one who hasn't seen us naked."
"Jack!" both Doctors exclaimed at the same time.
"What?"
"Regardless of what you think, I don't drop my trousers at every opportunity," the tenth Doctor grumbled, holding up his hand when the red haired Doctor opened his mouth, presumably to contradict him. "Don't you dare..."
"Oh, come on, as much as I love my girlfriend, if you think I'm going back to the alternate universe, without seeing you drop your trousers first, you have another think coming," Rose protested, causing the tenth Doctor to choke on his tea and Jack to raise an eyebrow.
"Told you, Jack," the thirteenth Doctor mumbled with a cheeky grin.
"Wait! You have a girlfriend?" the tenth Doctor asked, obviously stuck on that small announcement. He turned to Jack. "You knew?"
"Your red haired self told me," Jack answered, his grin widening when the thirteenth Doctor nodded. "Did you at least get a look in?"
"No."
"About the seeing you naked," Rose stated, "can I?"
"If you two tight-laced time lords aren't willing to do it," Jack said, "at least I will."
"Well, go on then," Rose said impatiently.
"How about later?" Thirteen asked, smiling at her. "You see my younger self is a little self conscious about his body..."
"Am not. I don't see you rushing to drop your trousers any time soon," Ten replied, scowling at his older self.
"We'll discuss this later," Thirteen promised. "Don't worry Rose, you will get your wish before either of us leave."
Onto Chapter 2