Fic: The Pocket-Size Edition [GEN]_MCU

[jade_dragoness]

Title: The Pocket-Size Edition
Author: J.D. aka jade_dragoness
Summary: Newly hired to SHIELD scientist wonder kid Dr. Henry Pym accidentally douses Agent Coulson with his recently discovered Pym Particles. Fury is not amused, until he is.
Pairing: None/GEN
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Set post Avengers 2012
Word Count: 1985
Disclaimer: Never ever will be mine. *sadness*
A/N: Inspired by the Cable & Deadpool comics where Deadpool was shrunk down to keychain size and he’s still badass. Written for trope_bingo prompt: transformations.
Feedback is always welcomed.
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AO3
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While the helicarrier was considered the headquarters for SHIELD it wasn’t the only base for the agency. It was actually a small base compared to others, it's value being primarily in its mobility, secrecy and tactical advantage provided by holding the higher ground. Yet while the mobile HQ had the best scientific equipment aboard which money could buy, most of SHIELD's scientific research was conducted elsewhere, precisely because of the volatile nature of some of those said experiments. No one wanted a runaway chain-reaction or a miscalculation to knock the helicarrier out of the sky, especially over a populated area (or having it sink while out at sea). These security measures were implemented for the safety of any civilians below and the agents in the helicarrier.

The testing of the Tesseract was conducted in the middle of nowhere and far from civilian populations for a reason.

At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work, Phil thought sourly. The security measure meant nothing if one of those scientists brought in an experimental sample into the Helicarrier and then spilled it all over an agent.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Dr. Henry Pym, newly recruited scientist to SHIELD. He loomed large over Phil and not just because he topped at over six feet. “Oh, I‘m so sorry, Agent Coulson! I didn‘t mean to - I didn‘t know it would - those particles are experimental but harmless I swear. I‘m so sorry.” His blue eyes were huge - quite literally - considering Phil’s new height.

And I just got cleared for active duty again. Phil sighed, before he calmly got to his feet and straightened his suit. He looked around and sighed again. Yes, it was just like he thought. He really was only a little over two inches high. Maybe even three although it was difficult to judge the scale of everything from his vastly reduced vantage point.

He wanted to laugh, or face-palm or curse a blue-streak at his terrible luck. He’d only been allowed back on the helicarrier for the last four days having healed enough to satisfy his doctors and pass his physical exams (and having convinced Fury he really was ready to go back work. Yes. Really, Nick.) so, of course, he’d end up shrunk down to a height equivalent of the length of a roll of quarters before the week was out.

The agents in the corridor who’d seen the incident were talking to each other in low voices as they watched Dr. Pym on the floor and his own miniaturized form. A couple of ones who were quicker on their feet were already contacting Medical. Phil made a note of their faces. Agents who reacted quickly when facing the unexpected were always in high demand in the field and he had no compunction about poaching new agents from other departments to turn them into field agents. Especially not when they showed such initiative.

Phil warily eyed the large hand heading towards him and took two prudent steps back. He held up his own hand and halted Pym in mid-grasp. Phil didn’t want to think of what could happen to him in the hands of someone who spilled their own science experiment all over him. That level of clumsiness led him to think he wouldn’t last long if he was actually picked up. He hid a shudder as he look up high at Pym.

Dr. Pym was still babbling. “I haven‘t yet moved on to testing organic organisms. I‘ve only tested inorganic materials but there shouldn’t be any harm to you. The inorganic materials didn‘t show damage even at the sub-atomic level and -”

“Dr. Pym!” Phil yelled, cutting him off. “Exactly how long will it take you to return me to normal?”

“Um…” Pym blinked, he crouched close to Phil. “I don‘t know. I haven‘t worked out the solution to induce growth yet. I've only worked out the equations for shrinking. That‘s why I brought it in. I wanted to show Director Fury what I could do so I could secure more funding to find the right combination for the growth formula.”

Phil closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples. Of course, Dr. Pym didn't know how to fix him. He sighed and opened his eyes only to see several more agents on their knees surrounding them. A middle-aged man - an analyst named Beckett with great instincts for picking out potential hot spots before they flared into real trouble - was eying Phil through the magnification half of his bi-focals.

Phil pointed a finger at him. “I need someone to rig me a way to place a phone call.”

Beckett nodded and stood up.

Phil turned to look at Pym's young face - he was barely into his twenties - which was still crumpled with distress. “And you‘re coming with me to explain to Director Fury why you were handling a scientific experiment inside the helicarrier, breaking the established lab safety and security protocols set in place by SHIELD to protect our agents!”

Dr. Pym winced, guilt flashing across his face. Several of the agents glared at him, others looked exasperated and grumbled about crazy geniuses.

“Here‘s the TMA, Agent Coulson,” Beckett said, as he lay one of the StarkTech smart-phones created solely for the use of SHIELD personnel which they called TMAs because Tony Stark had named them 'Touch Me, Agent'. SHIELD decided to stick to the acronym since Stark refused to change the name. “It‘s voice activated and the mic‘s sensitivity is maxed.”

Phil sighed again and put in a call to Director Fury.

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Once Fury stopped snickering - which started up pretty much as soon as he knew that Phil wasn’t actually hurt and nothing was about to explode - he ordered Phil and Dr. Pym to get their asses over to his office.

Phil ended up hitching a ride on the shoulder of Agent Masters. The junior agent was pretty damned good in hand to hand and he was so graceful that Phil had once seen him walk across a petroleum slicked floor without so much as skidding on the oil which was why Phil had chosen him as his ride. Masters also had the good sense not to pick him up but instead had offered his palm for Phil to step onto which had earned him extra bonus points in Phil’s regard.

“Thank you for the lift, Agent Masters,” Phil said as he stepped off Masters’ palm and onto Fury’s desk. “If you wouldn‘t mind waiting outside?” He ignored the tower of hard-copy reports piled up on one side even as they listed threateningly over him and side stepped two pen caps as he navigated the edge of the desk to stand in front of Nick Fury.

“You got it, sir,” Masters grinned. He winked down at Phil, saluted crisply at Fury and sauntered out the door.

Fury wasn’t smiling anymore as he crossed his arms and glowered at Dr. Pym. The young man blanched white. “Explain to me, how you managed to incapacitate one of my best agents, Dr. Pym. And how in the hell are you planning on fixing him?”

Pym swallowed loudly.

Phil didn’t bother watching Pym’s reaction as he’d already heard all the apologies and fervent promises to undo his shrinking.

“I know that I can reverse the effects of the Pym particles. Let me explain,” Dr. Pym said, straightening under Fury's glower. His coloring had come back to normal as he became swept up in explaining the science behind his theories about mass reduction, dimensional shifting and his excitingly newly discovered Pym particles.

He didn’t seem to have noticed Fury’s glazed over eye but Phil did. Nick always did have the tendency to tune out too much of the scientific babble. He cared more for the results than the science. “If Dr. Pym is able to control the growth and shrinking formula then this would be a great advantage in infiltration,” Phil said loudly, jerking Fury out of whatever thoughts he’d been in.

“Right,” Fury said, shaking his head. He glared hotly at Pym making the young man pale again. “You have one week to fix Coulson.”

“What?! One week? I can‘t!” Pym cried out in dismay. “I need at least four months to formulate a growth solution for inorganic objects and another three months before I can begin testing it on organic samples. I wouldn‘t be ready for human testing for at least a year.”

Fury looked down at Phil.

“I‘d rather not have to wait that long, sir,” Phil said flatly.

“You and me both,” Fury grumbled. Again, he glared at Pym. “You have three months to come up with a way to reverse what you did to him. If you can‘t accomplish this task, all your research will be handed over to Banner, Stark and Selvig.”

Dr. Pym made a strangled noise of protest and his cheeks flushed red. His eyes narrowed and he looked to start yelling until his eyes fell back onto Phil. Phil’s arms were crossed across his chest and his foot was tapping away impatiently. Dr. Pym’s temper tantrum was cut short before he had a chance to start shouting and his flush turned into an embarrassed blush as he ducked his head.

“Yes, Director Fury,” Pym sighed in resignation.

“Good,” Fury said. He stabbed at the touchscreen keyboard installed into his desk. “Your funding for the next three months has just increased three-fold. Get me that solution.”

Pym brightened and turned to leave before he paused and looked back at Fury. He added hesitantly, “Um... It would help me if I had the chance to study Agent Coulson. He's the first organic specimen to interact with Pym particles! The data would be invaluable! And it would move up my time table.”

Fury looked down at Phil. Phil sighed and nodded once at his boss. “We‘ll work something out,” Fury said blandly. “Agent Coulson has other responsibilities than just being your lab rat.”

Pym blinked, completely taken off-guard. “But… he‘s three inches tall. What‘s he suppose to do?”

“He‘s an agent of SHIELD,” Fury grinned, an expression that had more in common with a hungry shark than a with a smile. Phil had the sinking feeling that he’d be getting quite a few interesting assignments over the next few months. “The answer is whatever the hell I want.” Fury’s grin was downright gleeful now. Then the expression dropped off his face as he growled at Pym. “Now get your ass back to the lab and work on fixing my agent!”

Pym straightened so quickly that Phil half-expected him to salute before he bolted out the door.

“Kids these days…” Fury sighed in exasperation. “Always using science in all the wrong ways.”

“At least it was an accident and not a deliberate attack,” Phil pointed out.

Fury nodded. “There‘s that, otherwise you‘d have been one dead duck, Coulson. And you‘ve already met your quota for near-death experiences for the year. Don‘t do it again and don‘t even think about disobeying that order or you'll regret it.”

Fury's glower would've been intimidating if Phil hadn't known the man for practically his entire adult life.

“Yes, sir,” Phil agreed. It was a rather sobering thought. He made a mental note to talk to Hill about toughening the security protocols for people entering the helicarrier. She’ll be able to scare the hell out of whomever had been in charge of letting Pym get aboard with a potentially dangerous substance.

“Now what in the hell to do with you… hmm… I don't like the idea of sending into danger like this but you do make a good point.” Fury’s expression was thoughtful. “You currently have an advantage that no one is going to see coming.” Fury reached into his stack of hard-copy paper reports and flipped through several before he found one that caught his attention. “Here. This one looks just about right.”

Phil leaned forward eagerly.

End

a/n: I'm crossing my fingers that this totally happens to Coulson at some point during 'Marvel's Agents of SHIELD', because it just has to! *wants a pocket-size Coulson so badly*