I come bearing fic...

[redbells]

I've been poking around here for a while, and I've finally decided to post some fic. Thoughts or concrit, anyone?

Title: Naturally Occurring Phenomenon
Pairing: Jacob/Leah, mentions of Sam/Leah, Jacob/Bella, Renesmee
Rating: M
Length: 3,506 words
Status: Complete

(I don't want to flood the world.)

Comments

[beautyfrompain]

Oh my word, this is too good for words! I don't even know where to begin, you just totally had me captivated with every single bit. I love how it's broken up, I love the whole story as a whole -- I think it flows together really nicely. You have a talent with imagery and descriptive words, that's for sure!

Though, at least in my opinion, using italics instead of quotation marks for dialogue is a little confusing. I kept thinking it was their thoughts rather than what they were saying out loud to each other. But if that's your style, then there's no shame in that. Aside from that, and a few typos that I saw, this is seriously a wonderful piece of work. Loved it!

[redbells]

That was a lovely review - thank you! I was aiming for disjointed in the individual pieces with a sort of general flow for the story as a whole. It's good to know I succeeded! Imagery seems to come naturally to me - it's the plot part that I fail at :)

Thanks for pointing out that the italics make things confusing. I was a little unsure about that, but I went with it for stylistic purposes. At least when I was writing it, the italics gave it a sort of surreal feel. Typos? I've read this so many times I can't see straight anymore. If you point them out I'd be happy to fix them.

Once again, thank for your very kind review. I'm new to lj, would mind if I friended you?

[beautyfrompain]

Yes, you definitely succeeded. Pretty little snap shots of different scenes, while bringing them all together to mold nicely and show the overall pictures. Beautiful!

I thought that was probably what it was -- stylistically, the italics do work well! I could sense that surreal feel, and I think it works well with this piece. So thinking it over again, you probably don't need to change it. I just wanted to point it out for you to be aware of. :) Also, I'll re-read it to find the typos. Really, it was more like a few little connective words that I saw missing, and maybe a wrong pronoun here or there. So I'll try to read through it again later to let you know!

And yes, feel free to friend me, and I'll friend ya right back!

[redbells]

Thank you, on all three counts!

[wreckofdreams]

this was absolutely amazing! you captured the reason why so many people love jacob and leah together

[redbells]

Thank you! It was a blast to write, and it felt much more natural than any other Twilight pairing I've tried to write. I'm really glad you liked it!

Also, I'm new here; would you mind if I friend you?

[dreamofdesire]

This is absolutely brilliant! It so incredibly moving and realistic to the characters. I ADORE it!

[redbells]

Thanks! I love the idea of Jacob and Leah together simply because to me they don't feel right when paired with anyone else. I'm really glad you liked the fic :)

[kirstenxashley]

super late response, but i really like this! good job!

[redbells]

Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :)