This is my sundown

[jack_f_twist]

It was black for a long time.

And it's still dark, and the air should be warm, smelling like canvas and sweat and horse and old leather, but instead he's cold, and huddles down, curling into himself to get warm again. Instead of wiry grass against his skin, there's only a firm softness, and he stretches one arm out to pull Lureen

(Ennis)closer

Comments

[true_desire]

"If you want," comes a familiar voice: There's a click, a catch of flint, and the unmistakable scent of tobacco and paper burning. Not the roll-your-own or Marlboro variety, but the exotic, spicy version that somehow accentuates the scent of peaches.

"I've never been one to turn down a pretty face. -- They did a number on yours, didn't they?"

Desire's golden eyes swim into view, mouth shut against a cigarette as he draws the smoke in.

[true_desire]

Desire grins, both at the complaint and at the further Jack leans, and the Endless' head tilts just so -- breathing his breath, seeming less than a hair's bredth away.

"It's not so much taking what you want that's the problem," Jack's companion advises, voice low and almost husky. "It's being afraid of the result."

Desire holds.
Testing.

[jack_f_twist]

"The result's been me gettin beat 'n fucked over for twenty years," he says, but his mind ain't exactly on what he's saying.

What Desire offers is warmth.

Life.

He can't be dead if he's feeling that, and he shivers.

"Result's the tire iron. Like Ennis always said, I guess." And then, low, like an inside joke, or maybe to himself, "That ain't it, can't be. Dead men don't want for nothin."

And he wants. Of everything that is dark and out of balance around him, its the one thing he's sure of.

Wryly, "Sure never thought you'd figure in my dream--or whatever this is. Not like this, anyhow."

[true_desire]

Desire's mouth makes a faint tch as Jack runs on about what life was and how he died -- but there's a raise of one eyebrow and a faintly wicked grin at the mention of 'dreams.'

"Dreams aren't my specialty, Jack... So you've thought of me, then."

He is teasing
It isn't really a question.

[jack_f_twist]

There's a grunt of laughter, and Jack shakes his head slowly.

"Not you."

[true_desire]

"Mm. It all depends on your point of view."
Desire grins, a flash of white. "That particular charm work on everyone, Jack Twist, or are you just trying to shoot holes in my ego?"

[jack_f_twist]

The grin sparks an answering smile, small but genuine, even though Jack directs it at the floor.

"Don't figure it couldn't take much damage," he admits, "but I meant--guess just not you, like you look now."

Wry now, "I ain't gotten rid a you yet. Figure you been along for the whole damn ride."

[true_desire]

There's a wry twist of those familiar lips.

"Hopefully, the company's good."

[jack_f_twist]

"Best there is," he says, and the smile grows a little wider again before turning on itself and fading away.

[true_desire]

If Desire notices the fade, he makes no comment: Matter of fact, he picks this moment to look away, fiddling in a suddenly present cellophane pack for a fresh cigarette.

"Here," he says, shaking the filtered end out of the paper. "Bet you could use one of these."

He lights up one-handed, not waiting to see whether Jack to take one or not: There's a pause where the flame remains dancing in the golden lighter, warm light flickering in those familiar eyes.

[jack_f_twist]

He nods his thanks, takes the offered cigarette and holds it to his lips, waiting for Desire to come through with a light, and the other man doesn't disappoint him. He takes a deep drag at the cigarette, bites the smoke back, and it tastes good, spicy and sweet all at once.

"Brokeback," he says, eventually, and exhales smoke in a thin stream. "To answer your question."

[true_desire]

"Tch."

Desire exhales, a swirling stream of spicy-sweet smoke: It curls into almost heart-shaped figures before vanishing into whatever place smoke goes, here in the dark. "I don't think you can have that anymore, Jack. Not unless you want to haunt the place. Rules, you see."

[jack_f_twist]

"Hell, I know that."

He holds the cigarette between thumb and forefinger, looks down at the glowing end thoughtfully.

And maybe, instead of seeing the smodering end of a cigarette, he's seeing a small campfire, bright against the purple-dark hunch of the mountains.

"Couldn't even get back up there when I had the chance. 'Sides, what I've wanted ain't hardly ever been the same as what I got. But feelin' like that, havin' that place..."

He trails off, and it's funny, but maybe if he were looking a little harder at Desire right now, he wouldn't be seeing the golden eyed gentleman at all.

"I'm supposed to go back, though," he says, more firmly. "When it's all over. I told Lureen."

[true_desire]

Desire might be a bit too quiet now, interested in drawing out the next drag a little longer than normal.
Could also all be in Jack's imagination. Wouldn't be the first time he'd seen something that wasn't there, after all.

"Right," Desire says in almost a sigh, huffing out the smoke. "Still doesn't tell me what you want now -- not that I'm meaning to rush you, Jack, but my Siblings aren't big on other Endless dicking around in their domain."

[jack_f_twist]

He doesn't answer right away, just lifts the cigarette to his lips and takes a pull at it, holds the smoke in and then lets it out slow.

"Why?" he asks, after a silence that probably hadn't stretched as long as it felt like. "You gonna make it come true for me? I don't want a leave, but I ain't got much keepin me here. Can't go back to the way it used a be, and that weren't even all that good."

And maybe Desire's brother ain't ever had too much of a hold on Jack, but there's a little bit of Despair in his voice anyhow, light as he tries to keep it.

[true_desire]

"Me? No. I never give people what they want, Jack -- Haven't you figured that out yet?" And if Desire's a bit snappish and curt now, eying the dark as if he expected some sort of bogey monster to spring out of it -- Well, that's all got to be imagination anyway, right?

"I just like you, and I want you to want ... Something more than this. More than nothing."