Comments | j_fortune: musing

j_fortune

musing

Mar 18, 2010 12:44

i have so much on my mind right now that it feels like i might implode. so many things are joyous and make me happy to think about, and others are crushing. just today a friend brought me flowers and wine and we spent the afternoon together playing with claire in the backyard, and chatted over lunch in my sunny kitchen nook while claire napped. ( Read more... )

Comments 4

cat_named_spot March 20 2010, 06:00:49 UTC

I have to say, it's really hard to watch them change. I am still waiting for one to show me love like he used to and I'm starting to lose hope.

Depressed/happy is a real thing. I think the technical term is "motherhood".

j_fortune March 23 2010, 05:17:01 UTC

g, it's killing me! it literally took hold in one day! how do you cope? did having another one help??? ack!

cat_named_spot March 23 2010, 05:23:43 UTC

I don't know WHAT the answer is. Having Ruby showed me that all kids are different and I'm learning all these different things from each of them... but the term "1 bad apple spoils the bunch" is my daily mantra. Jake is usually the bad apple on a daily basis. Patience is key and I have ZERO patience left.

I had another child because we wanted a girl (thank god we got one lol) and also because I wanted Jake to have a sibling (not just a half sibling). And when she came, he basically hates her.... it breaks my heart. I hope that some day this will change and they will bond, but as it looks now, she is just this thing in his way. Totally not what my goal was - and totally proves my point that I can't make this child happy.

j_fortune March 23 2010, 18:22:44 UTC

oh honey ;( it breaks my heart that it's so hard for you guys right now! because you are an amazing mom and person and to hear you sounding so sad is just not right! is there a place like this is sac? http://www.trilliumfamily.org/ i have heard soo many success stories come out of that place--from friends who said nothing else worked for them. you guys all deserve to be happy and not at a price!

on a lighter note, "Depressed/happy is a real thing. I think the technical term is "motherhood" makes me LOL every time i read it. we are a bunch of sick fucks with our senses of humor, no?

xxoo!