(no subject)
Emotions, they tend to get the better of you, even when you try hard to keep them at bay. Finally letting you know how i feel was, a relief in some ways, just letting you know, even if it wasn't exactly reciprocated. Sometimes, i wonder why God does not take this heartache away. It does ache so, and I question myself. Why? Then God rebukes me. Says I'm not putting Him first in my life. Says patience, dear child, patience. Be not anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let my requests be made known to Him.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. A very real reminder today. I try not to be jealous. To not imagine what, to me, are the worst-case scenarios. I tell myself, to just place everything in God's hands, and things will work out, one way or the other. But the heart wants to cling on; the heart refuses to let go.
The storm outside reflects the storm in my heart. Lord, please, give me peace, the peace that can come only from You. Give me the peace to accept whatever it is You have planned for me, that I will shape my own will to match Yours, and not try to bend Yours to mine.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. A very real reminder today. I try not to be jealous. To not imagine what, to me, are the worst-case scenarios. I tell myself, to just place everything in God's hands, and things will work out, one way or the other. But the heart wants to cling on; the heart refuses to let go.
The storm outside reflects the storm in my heart. Lord, please, give me peace, the peace that can come only from You. Give me the peace to accept whatever it is You have planned for me, that I will shape my own will to match Yours, and not try to bend Yours to mine.