Apology: due to lack of internet access and other unexpected RL issues this weekend, this is late going up. stargatebabe, I hope you like it anyway
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I have not seen that show, but I've heard people say good things about it. I thought it was a cable show--is it network? I may have to go look it up now. My summer's not too full yet. :-)
It's not the same as your fic, but it resonates. It is a cable show, but ABC runs it Friday nights as a summer replacement. The first season was a lot of fun. Too soon to tell about season 2....
Hee. Glad you think so. My first chance to play with mini-Jack. (I have another idea with him, but may never get around to writing it--it has no plot yet, just an OC and an idea about character dynamics.)
I like! Enjoyed the POV and the little taste of big-brother-little-sister relationship that we get. (I'm a sucker for big brothers, I always wanted one.) Mini!Jack should have been assigned to my family, he would have fit right in.
Yay! I think I could have used the POV more successfully, given a bit more time to rewrite this, but man, I had fun with the pseudo-sibling dynamics. Now I kind of want to remix my remix, and write a mini-Jack companion piece. Heh.
(I'd read your version, if you ever wanted to write a snippet or two. *wink*)
You made some good choices here. The original story was interesting enough, but I think your approach - telling it from the POV of someone with less-than-complete knowledge - worked more effectively in a narrative sense. Mary’s attitude toward Jack was credible, neither awe-struck nor ignorant, but a certain amount of cool assessment mixed in with normal fourteen-year-old preoccupation. Even her minor intervention in the final fight (barely a distraction, but an important one) made her part of the events rather than simply a witness; just about the perfect balance, I’d say.
I haven’t watched much Stargate, but enough to know most of the main characters and some of the major events. I don’t see any false notes here. In remix terms - telling a different version of the same story - yours is, in my opinion, more successful than mine. Nice work.
Thank you so much for your analysis. This is the first time I've written a fic where the pov character was an OC, and I wasn't sure how well it was going to work. I'm very glad it struck you as balanced, and 14-year-old credible.
In remix terms - telling a different version of the same story - yours is, in my opinion, more successful than mine.
Well, I might disagree with that, because you had more room to roam with the story you remixed. And you ran with it in a very interesting direction. But thank you, again--I really wanted to do my first remix "right." :-)
What I meant by saying yours was more successful “in remix terms” was that your story stayed closer to the original, while still showing more and giving an alternative perspective. My own submission - with which I am quite satisfied, by the way - came perilously close to being an entirely different story with only the most tenuous antecedents to the piece it was supposed to remix.
So, I still hold the same position: I believe yours was the more successful remix.
When I read 'Adopted Kids Are Chosen' I really itched to know more what Kerrigan's daughter and wife thought about their house guest, and this just hit the spot. good job
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-JD
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(I'd read your version, if you ever wanted to write a snippet or two. *wink*)
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Don't do that!! *deploys plot tribble repellent*
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Oh! I know! ...hey. Where'd you get a Klingon?
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I haven’t watched much Stargate, but enough to know most of the main characters and some of the major events. I don’t see any false notes here. In remix terms - telling a different version of the same story - yours is, in my opinion, more successful than mine. Nice work.
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In remix terms - telling a different version of the same story - yours is, in my opinion, more successful than mine.
Well, I might disagree with that, because you had more room to roam with the story you remixed. And you ran with it in a very interesting direction. But thank you, again--I really wanted to do my first remix "right." :-)
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So, I still hold the same position: I believe yours was the more successful remix.
But thanks anyhow.
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good job
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