Week 181: Joke
Title: Step Dad
Author: Paynesgrey
Characters/Pairings: Sesshoumaru, Byakuya/Sessmom
Word Count: 1,168
Rating: PG
Spoilers: after the manga, though not quite as canon as you'd think :)
Warnings: some adult 'talk'
Genre: Humor
Summary: Sesshoumaru gets word to come home and doesn't appreciate his mother's good news.
Sesshoumaru should have sensed something was wrong when his mother had immediately called him back to the palace in the sky, yet she wasn’t waiting for him when he arrived. There were no grim faces or epic battles awaiting him at his childhood home.
Instead, he was greeted with the sound of obnoxious giggles.
When she finally came into his view, someone else was trailing behind her. His eyes narrowed when he recognized the man’s odious face.
“Ah, Sesshoumaru! You came so fast! I’m glad you’re here. I have some news,” his mother said jubilantly.
Sesshoumaru ignored his mother, and immediately he directed his attention to her guest. “Byakuya.” He said the name like it was poison. “Why aren’t you dead?” he asked rudely.
“Oh, that’s cold. Well, I guess I’d expect nothing less from you,” he said with a grin. Sesshoumaru continued to glare at him, saying nothing until the fiend answered his question. “For your information, I was dead, stuck aimlessly inside the Meidou.” He turned to Sesshoumaru’s mother with love-struck eyes. “But then this fair and beautiful maiden rescued me.” He bowed to her. “She is my savior.”
“Ohohoho,” his mother chortled, and she acted embarrassed but Sesshoumaru knew her better. He was starting to feel anxiety swell inside him from the impending farce.
“Mother, what were you doing in the Meidou again?” Sesshoumaru asked her. He honestly didn’t think she had any more access to it. She waved her hand nonchalantly at him.
“I have my ways, dear. Don’t worry,” she said. “I was just walking on the edge, and then I heard a call for help.” She smirked at her son. “Well, it was more like caterwauling, but I came to his rescue and he was ever so grateful.” Sesshoumaru watched as his mother caressed Byakuya’s face. Just what was going on here?
“He’s so adorable and charming! And he makes me laugh, which doesn’t happen too often.” Sesshoumaru hated Byakuya’s wide grin.
“He is the spawn of Naraku, and you should have left him there to rot in hell,” Sesshoumaru harrumphed. Byakuya pouted at him, but the Taiyoukai ignored him.
“Oh really!” she said in annoyance. “Naraku is dead, and Byakuya is hardly a threat to me. Besides, I’m rather quite taken with him.”
“And I to you, madam,” he said, grasping her hand and kissing it. She made a swooning sound to his attentions, and Sesshoumaru thought he was going to be sick.
“Is this the reason you called me here?” Sesshoumaru asked angrily. He started to turn around and leave but his mother called him back.
“Wait, darling, don’t you want to hear the good news?” Sesshoumaru’s mother asked happily. Sesshoumaru knew that if this news had anything to do with Byakuya, it was not going to be good.
He turned around cautiously, still glaring at them.
She met his eyes with a satisfied smile. “I have decided to take Byakuya as my mate.” The words came out, but Sesshoumaru didn’t really want to believe them. Byakuya’s grin couldn’t have been brighter, and his mother’s expression told him that this was no prank.
She was serious. His blood boiled inside. Suddenly, the caribou he ate this morning wasn’t sitting well in his stomach.
“Isn’t this wonderful, news? I’m going to be your new father,” Byakuya said, grinding salt into the wound further. At this point, there was only one thing Sesshoumaru could do to ease his tension and rectify this ghastly situation.
He drew his sword.
“Scourge!” he spat at him, pointing the blade. His mother stood motionless, her grin still firmly in place. Byakuya stepped back and put his hands up in surrender.
“Oh, my, I had a feeling you’d react this way, my son,” his mother said, tapping the tip of his blade with her finger playfully.
“He’s fooling you. I will send him back to the Meidou where he belongs,” Sesshoumaru warned, for which Byakuya made a surprised squeak to his statement.
“You will not,” she said sternly. “My mate is staying, and you cannot change my mind.”
“What do you see in this fool?” Sesshoumaru snapped at her.
She tapped her chin idly. “I’m not as young as I used to be, and I get quite lonely up here. Byakuya is very… romantic, let’s just say. I haven’t had this fun in bed since your father.”
Sesshoumaru growled quite loudly. It was more like a howl of disgust than surprise. He really didn’t want to hear that. He turned away from their gleeful expressions and put away the sword.
“This is ridiculous,” he said, and Byakuya made an audible sigh as he sat down in his mother’s throne. “And you, I was sure you took a liking to your own gender,” Sesshoumaru quipped icily.
“Who doesn’t?” his mother answered for him, making Sesshoumaru feel even worse as she and Byakuya shared in a moment of loud laughter. Sesshoumaru began to regret bringing it up.
“Now, let’s talk about this like mature adults,” his mother said. She looked over at Byakuya lovingly. “Don’t worry, darling. Sesshoumaru will love you in time.”
Sesshoumaru glowered at her. She walked up to him and patted him on the face. “Oh stop that.”
“She’s right, my son.” Sesshoumaru shot Byakuya another warning glare for the ‘my son’ comment, but his mother’s new mate ignored his displeasure. Instead, the fool grinned at him and smacked his lap. “Why don’t you come sit on daddy’s knee, and I’ll give you a few bounces, and we’ll all feel better.”
His grin couldn’t have turned anymore loathsome. Pink seeped into Sesshoumaru’s eyes as anger started to consume him. Before he could massacre them, he finally turned to his mother’s challenging look, and with a deep sigh of reluctance, he said, “Do what you want. I’m leaving.”
“But Sesshoumaru! Don’t you want to invite your little girl and toad to the ceremony? We’re having it in a couple days, and I’m inviting everyone. You simply must come!” his mother said. Sesshoumaru would rather fight Naraku again than come to Byakuya’s and his mother’s mating ceremony.
He turned around with a snarl. “Don’t call me again unless it’s important!” He shot his new ‘step father’ a glare and then dashed into the clouds, setting off a few tornadoes at his feet in the process.
Sesshoumaru’s mother let out a languid sigh. “What a disappointing son. My heart is breaking.” Byakuya came up behind her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up into his face and put her hand over his.
“Let him be,” Byakuya said. He leaned down and nuzzled into her neck, and she giggled. “If Sesshoumaru’s not going to be a good son, we can always make another that will be.”
Sesshoumaru’s mother made a satisfied growl. Byakuya pulled her back to the throne with a mischievous grin.
And for what they were about to do, it was a probably a good thing that Sesshoumaru had left so quickly.
Author: Paynesgrey
Characters/Pairings: Sesshoumaru, Byakuya/Sessmom
Word Count: 1,168
Rating: PG
Spoilers: after the manga, though not quite as canon as you'd think :)
Warnings: some adult 'talk'
Genre: Humor
Summary: Sesshoumaru gets word to come home and doesn't appreciate his mother's good news.
Sesshoumaru should have sensed something was wrong when his mother had immediately called him back to the palace in the sky, yet she wasn’t waiting for him when he arrived. There were no grim faces or epic battles awaiting him at his childhood home.
Instead, he was greeted with the sound of obnoxious giggles.
When she finally came into his view, someone else was trailing behind her. His eyes narrowed when he recognized the man’s odious face.
“Ah, Sesshoumaru! You came so fast! I’m glad you’re here. I have some news,” his mother said jubilantly.
Sesshoumaru ignored his mother, and immediately he directed his attention to her guest. “Byakuya.” He said the name like it was poison. “Why aren’t you dead?” he asked rudely.
“Oh, that’s cold. Well, I guess I’d expect nothing less from you,” he said with a grin. Sesshoumaru continued to glare at him, saying nothing until the fiend answered his question. “For your information, I was dead, stuck aimlessly inside the Meidou.” He turned to Sesshoumaru’s mother with love-struck eyes. “But then this fair and beautiful maiden rescued me.” He bowed to her. “She is my savior.”
“Ohohoho,” his mother chortled, and she acted embarrassed but Sesshoumaru knew her better. He was starting to feel anxiety swell inside him from the impending farce.
“Mother, what were you doing in the Meidou again?” Sesshoumaru asked her. He honestly didn’t think she had any more access to it. She waved her hand nonchalantly at him.
“I have my ways, dear. Don’t worry,” she said. “I was just walking on the edge, and then I heard a call for help.” She smirked at her son. “Well, it was more like caterwauling, but I came to his rescue and he was ever so grateful.” Sesshoumaru watched as his mother caressed Byakuya’s face. Just what was going on here?
“He’s so adorable and charming! And he makes me laugh, which doesn’t happen too often.” Sesshoumaru hated Byakuya’s wide grin.
“He is the spawn of Naraku, and you should have left him there to rot in hell,” Sesshoumaru harrumphed. Byakuya pouted at him, but the Taiyoukai ignored him.
“Oh really!” she said in annoyance. “Naraku is dead, and Byakuya is hardly a threat to me. Besides, I’m rather quite taken with him.”
“And I to you, madam,” he said, grasping her hand and kissing it. She made a swooning sound to his attentions, and Sesshoumaru thought he was going to be sick.
“Is this the reason you called me here?” Sesshoumaru asked angrily. He started to turn around and leave but his mother called him back.
“Wait, darling, don’t you want to hear the good news?” Sesshoumaru’s mother asked happily. Sesshoumaru knew that if this news had anything to do with Byakuya, it was not going to be good.
He turned around cautiously, still glaring at them.
She met his eyes with a satisfied smile. “I have decided to take Byakuya as my mate.” The words came out, but Sesshoumaru didn’t really want to believe them. Byakuya’s grin couldn’t have been brighter, and his mother’s expression told him that this was no prank.
She was serious. His blood boiled inside. Suddenly, the caribou he ate this morning wasn’t sitting well in his stomach.
“Isn’t this wonderful, news? I’m going to be your new father,” Byakuya said, grinding salt into the wound further. At this point, there was only one thing Sesshoumaru could do to ease his tension and rectify this ghastly situation.
He drew his sword.
“Scourge!” he spat at him, pointing the blade. His mother stood motionless, her grin still firmly in place. Byakuya stepped back and put his hands up in surrender.
“Oh, my, I had a feeling you’d react this way, my son,” his mother said, tapping the tip of his blade with her finger playfully.
“He’s fooling you. I will send him back to the Meidou where he belongs,” Sesshoumaru warned, for which Byakuya made a surprised squeak to his statement.
“You will not,” she said sternly. “My mate is staying, and you cannot change my mind.”
“What do you see in this fool?” Sesshoumaru snapped at her.
She tapped her chin idly. “I’m not as young as I used to be, and I get quite lonely up here. Byakuya is very… romantic, let’s just say. I haven’t had this fun in bed since your father.”
Sesshoumaru growled quite loudly. It was more like a howl of disgust than surprise. He really didn’t want to hear that. He turned away from their gleeful expressions and put away the sword.
“This is ridiculous,” he said, and Byakuya made an audible sigh as he sat down in his mother’s throne. “And you, I was sure you took a liking to your own gender,” Sesshoumaru quipped icily.
“Who doesn’t?” his mother answered for him, making Sesshoumaru feel even worse as she and Byakuya shared in a moment of loud laughter. Sesshoumaru began to regret bringing it up.
“Now, let’s talk about this like mature adults,” his mother said. She looked over at Byakuya lovingly. “Don’t worry, darling. Sesshoumaru will love you in time.”
Sesshoumaru glowered at her. She walked up to him and patted him on the face. “Oh stop that.”
“She’s right, my son.” Sesshoumaru shot Byakuya another warning glare for the ‘my son’ comment, but his mother’s new mate ignored his displeasure. Instead, the fool grinned at him and smacked his lap. “Why don’t you come sit on daddy’s knee, and I’ll give you a few bounces, and we’ll all feel better.”
His grin couldn’t have turned anymore loathsome. Pink seeped into Sesshoumaru’s eyes as anger started to consume him. Before he could massacre them, he finally turned to his mother’s challenging look, and with a deep sigh of reluctance, he said, “Do what you want. I’m leaving.”
“But Sesshoumaru! Don’t you want to invite your little girl and toad to the ceremony? We’re having it in a couple days, and I’m inviting everyone. You simply must come!” his mother said. Sesshoumaru would rather fight Naraku again than come to Byakuya’s and his mother’s mating ceremony.
He turned around with a snarl. “Don’t call me again unless it’s important!” He shot his new ‘step father’ a glare and then dashed into the clouds, setting off a few tornadoes at his feet in the process.
Sesshoumaru’s mother let out a languid sigh. “What a disappointing son. My heart is breaking.” Byakuya came up behind her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up into his face and put her hand over his.
“Let him be,” Byakuya said. He leaned down and nuzzled into her neck, and she giggled. “If Sesshoumaru’s not going to be a good son, we can always make another that will be.”
Sesshoumaru’s mother made a satisfied growl. Byakuya pulled her back to the throne with a mischievous grin.
And for what they were about to do, it was a probably a good thing that Sesshoumaru had left so quickly.