Made To Be Broken: The Meta Post
So, a lot of things kept coming up in the comments, and I just couldn't really address them at the time without giving away too much of what was always planned.
Just in case it needs to be said, this post contains spoilers for the entire series.
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This way to the meta. )
Comments 16
Mostly because the "holy fuck" joke just needs to be made, but also because I feel bad.
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Relationships are not binary. And that's such an important thing to talk about, because life can become so confusing when every relationship has to constantly fit into one side or the other of this supposed friendship/romance dichotomy. The reality is that not only do interpersonal relationships not map onto a dichotomy, they don't even map onto a continuum, since that would imply something two-dimensional, and there are so many dimensions to relationships: friendly affection and sexual attraction and crush-feelings and wanting-to-cuddle and all sorts of other feelings that can each vary independently. The words we have to talk about relationships don't even *begin* to cover the actual range of possibilities and complexities for how one person can feel about another. It just has a couple broad labels (boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, crush, fuckbuddy) that you have to stretch to fit yourself into and that almost never feels ( ... )
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"And I think often the tendency is to try to compare oneself to the idea of the label and to always feel anxious about the places of non-matching, like that is somehow a problem with the *relationship,* when of course the truth is that it's a problem with the woefully inadequate label."I love this so much, it almost hurts. The friend who indirectly inspired this is a sworn bachelor. There's nothing wrong with that. What I do think there's something wrong with is the fact that he thinks that never wanting to get married or live with another ( ... )
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I try really hard to always have something beneath the surface. It's a big part of what makes something fun for me to write, and I think it's an important part of the challenge. With this, I had a lot to work with. It is, in a way, the most personal thing I've ever written. There's a lot of me in both of them, and writing this really helped me clarify some things for myself.
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I've been reading about sex since before I was having it. At first, it was because I wanted to be prepared when the time came. Later, it became about trying to explore all the sticky grey areas that come with it. Sex isn't this neat and pretty little thing that we can just slap with a bow and a tag saying THIS IS THIS AND IT IS ONLY THIS AND THIS IS ALL IT SHALL EVER BE. It's messy, and it's complicated, and that's kind of what makes it so great. For me, at least, but as I've freely admitted in the past - I like things that challenge me. ( ... )
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I'm glad you like my thoughts re: sex as language. It's been a pet thought of mine for a while, and it's always nice to see the way people respond to it. What can I say? Talking about sex gives me an intellectual boner. ;D
I have to have music playing, too. For the most part, I used the soundtrack. Sometimes, though, I had to just hit shuffle on the whole library, or I thought I'd go insane. That's how the last three songs on the soundtrack came to fit in, actually. "Collide" is Darren's "A-HA!" moment, "F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E." is Chris's, and "Ask For Answers" kind of describes what they come to find. ("These bonds are shackle free / wrapped in lust and lunacy")
AAAAAND "Collide" just popped up on shuffle. I think iTunes knew I was commenting to you. XD ( ... )
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