I wish I didn't have to feel like this new userpic
I wish I weren't still depressed about the Forbidden Comment Threads (which I've previously mentioned and alluded to in this community, but it's been a while since I posted here at all) at the worst possible times.
It's been 19 months already, and yet I still live almost every day (but thankfully, not almost every moment... YET) worrying about at least 300 of my old entries and comments and the possibility that if someone (even one of my LJ friends) who hasn't already read them sees them, it could cause drama just as bad as the Forbidden Comment Threads.
I wish I weren't at the point where everything has the potential to remind me of either those threads or something else that reminds me of them...
I wish compiling a list of links to all of my aforementioned posts and showing the list to my LJ friends just to see what happens wasn't the only strategy I know of for getting over this depression for good.
I wish I were at least done writing said list. I've been working on it since last October...
I wish that I hadn't had to stop regularly checking my LJ friends page (yes, I'm a bad friend...) just to have the time to get what I have so far completed, 8 months after I started...
I wish that my summer class weren't cutting into my time about as much as checking my friends page would...
I wish that I could even know for sure that finishing the list and posting it will help... Several of my friends said that it was a good idea when I posted about it, but will it actually work? :(
It's been 19 months already, and yet I still live almost every day (but thankfully, not almost every moment... YET) worrying about at least 300 of my old entries and comments and the possibility that if someone (even one of my LJ friends) who hasn't already read them sees them, it could cause drama just as bad as the Forbidden Comment Threads.
I wish I weren't at the point where everything has the potential to remind me of either those threads or something else that reminds me of them...
I wish compiling a list of links to all of my aforementioned posts and showing the list to my LJ friends just to see what happens wasn't the only strategy I know of for getting over this depression for good.
I wish I were at least done writing said list. I've been working on it since last October...
I wish that I hadn't had to stop regularly checking my LJ friends page (yes, I'm a bad friend...) just to have the time to get what I have so far completed, 8 months after I started...
I wish that my summer class weren't cutting into my time about as much as checking my friends page would...
I wish that I could even know for sure that finishing the list and posting it will help... Several of my friends said that it was a good idea when I posted about it, but will it actually work? :(