Curious to understand Part 6
Author: Shadow
Title: Curious to understand Part 4
Fandom: Kim Harrison's "The Hollows Series"
Raiting: PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters and the world they live in belong to Kim Harrison.
Summery: Wil Rachel's date with Ivy go as planned?
'Why do I always do this? I always find someone then do something wrong, and they run away from me? Then I mope around like a loser, right before I go after someone else.' I dismissed the thought with a large swallow of the heavy alcohol I bought at the thrift store on the corner, 'The asshole kid had to card me, before he would sell me my whiskey.' I sighed when I took a moment to think about it. 'I really am a loser, I lose the best thing that has ever happened to me because I'm... me. Maybe Mia was right, maybe I can't find love, maybe I never deserved it, because I've never fought hard enough for it.' I shook my head, that couldn't be true could it? 'You will lose EVERYTHING you have ever wanted and you always will!' I dismissed my thoughts again with another huge swallow,'I haven't been able to sleep. Hmm, maybe I should crawl into Ivy's bed when I get home... No! She is pushing you away as it is, don't make it worse.' I missed her, my heart ached, she hardly even came home and when she did she made sure I wasn't there, 'I wonder what Ivy would say if she saw me right now?' I growled in anger at myself for even thinking about it, I could get drunk if I wanted to. 'Your worried about what she thinks, yet you supposedly don't care, quite lying to yourself, You Need Her.'.
I heard a yell of frustration deliberatly snapping me out of my thoughts, but the fact that it was mixed with fear got my attention. My head cocked , I looked in the direction of the sound, I left my bottle in my car taking my keys, I closed the door after I locked it. I stumbled in the direction of the suspicious noise, I saw a tall familiar looking woman trying to fight off a few young living vamps, then I saw the gun. I stepped closer getting steadily more pissed by the second, anger started to turn to heat, then I heard a crackle I looked down, and saw that my body was covered in leyline energy waiting to be used. I smiled I could use my reputation to my advantage, plus it would feel great to just hit someone right now.
They sensed me walk up and they turned from Ivy, she turned to look at me shocked. I smiled, "Hey boys, it's not nice to pick on a lady, didn't your mothers ever teach you manners?" I took a moment to look them all over, trying to size them up, seeing if I could take 'em if I had to. There was a tall one with a red shirt and black leather jacket, blond bangs fell artfully into his face, one of his buddies wore a fendora hat, his style of dress was a bit nicer than the rest he wore a button up shirt, with a tie and dress pants, his hair was cropped short, and neat. The last guy was the most dangerous looking one, he looked like he hadn't showered in days, and he had a certain impatience about him, like a drug junkie, he was the one carrying the gun, a .45 by the looks of it, 'A really big hole, the arterial spread would be everywhere.'
The tall guy that had been holding Ivy by the wrist, sauntered over to me with a look on his face that told me he was an asshole. He leaned in on me bending to catch my eyes, he was trying to pull an aura on me, I leaned in on him getting in his hostile little face. His eyes widened with surprise when he realized his aura wasn't affecting me, "What now pretty boy?" I sneered at him.
He rocked back onto the balls of his feet then settled back to the ground, trying to play of as if he was cool, he was really nervous, 'Anything is possible right now, leave her alone and I won't kill you.' He smiled, and looked me up and down, "I don't know who you are, but you've got to be one tough bitch. Why don't we forget that prude over there, and you come home with me for dinner?" I smiled and played it cool, if he could then why couldn't I?
I looked him up and down, appraising him, making him think I was interested, I licked my lips, "I need to know you name first, sweetheart." His eyes widened at my acceptance of his offer, he offered his hand for my to shake. My smile widened, I clasped his hand in my own, 'What a duche he can't even shake like a man, my Mother is more manly than him.'
He smiled and took a breath to speak, but I cut him off, "Now lets get down to business, my name is Rachel Morgan, or as others call me 'The Demon Practitioner'. I want you to leave Ivy alone to do as she pleases, and if I see you or any of your little cronies near her again I will personally come find you, and make you wish you were in hell. K, sweetheart?"
The blood drained out of his face, he started to sweat, he nervously looked at our joined hands. "That's right Cookie, I can fry your brain right now, and they would never be able to trace it to me, it would look just like a heart failure mixed with a very convenient stroke, which means you wake from the dead nice and pretty, but you would be dumber than a box of hammers. I want you to take out your wallet, and I want you to give me your licence." He nodded, gave me his ID, and called for his guys to leave 'the prude' alone that they didn't need her anyway."Now I know where you live, and if she tells me you ever bothered her again, I will personally see to you end, have a nice day." When they were out of site I turned to leave, when Ivy spoke up I started walking faster. She needed to think about this, and to put it frankly so did I.
"Rachel, wait please." I unlocked my car, and opened my door heading straight for my whiskey, I chugged down at least a fourth of a bottle before turning around.
"What? What could you want now? If you really want to talk then why wouldn't you answer your phone? Why didn't you listen to my messages and call me back? I don't understand why your so damn upset, it was my decision and I chose to spend more time with you because I love you, but it looks like I'm not enough, so I'm going to ask you one more question. Who do you want me to be?" She stopped, she tried to speak, but no words would come out , she swallowed, and tried again but once more nothing.She stopped trying to speak, and looked at the ground, willing to take the punishment for leaving me alone for so long. I growled in frustration, I didn't want it to be like this, I didn't want to feal like the bad guy.
Tears welled in my eyes, "I know my answer, I know you want someone safe, someone away from violence, but I'll never be able to give that to you, no matter how much I wish I could, I can't. The irony of it is that I always wanted kids, but I wanted the beautiful house, the love of my life next to me. If I'm so strong then why can't I keep the ones I love safe?" My voise softened,"I'll tell you a secret, I can promise you that I will never find anyone that means as much to me as you do, but I can also promise that I will never be so vulnerable. You mean too much and as long as I'm with you, near you I will go through any pain so I can make sure you don't have to." I was looking at the ground, I shed a tear it fell onto my hand, "The thing that dug the pain home was, the thought of how many times have you had to feel like a whore because of me, how many scars that you got trying to keep me safe." I smiled, "Your safe now though, you won't ever be hurt by them ever, their filthy smut covered hands will never touch you." I looked at my hands, "And neither will mine, I'll never hurt you again, I promise... I'll be packing my things tonight, I'll be gone by next week." I looked up to see her crying, I tried to smile, it came out watery, "I love you, Ivy, I'm sorry it took me so long. Goodbye."
She moved quick when I turned around, she grabbed my shirt sleeve high near the elbow, her free hand cupped my cheek, tears were freely rolling down her face, "Don't go. Don't leave me." She kept whispering this as she clutched me to her pressing me against the door of my car, 'When did I get bo be so stupid, so blind?' She buried her face in my shoulder, I stayed frozen in time stopped by her again. 'If I stay I'll ruin her life again, if I go she won't have anything left. Where am I supposed to go from here? What is better for her? Loneliness or pain? She deserves better than me, she deserves so much better than this, than this person I've become. When did my life get so ugly?" She was shaking, and clutching me close to her, she felt as if her body would rattle apart against me, my decision was made. I wrapped my arms around her, I pressed my face against her neck.
"Hush, shh, I'm not going anywhere, not anymore. Not anymore, I'm yours I will go where ever you go, I'm yours." She seemed to understand and held me tighter, I kissed the junction between her shoulder and her neck. After around five minutes she let go, she stayed close, I was the first one to speak up, "Lets go home, come on." I soothed her by running my hands up, and down her arms. 'God it felt wonderful to touch her again.'
She gave me a sheepish smile, "I can't drive right now." I looked at her curiously, then realized I was outside of a liquor store, I smiled and laughed, then replied with an 'okay then' sort of comment.
We sat there for a minute scuffing our shoes on the ground, attempting to make a rational thought, then one hit me, "Let's walk! We're only a few miles from home, and we have some really good whiskey with us! It'll be fun."
She laughed, "Your idea of fun is walking home in December, in weather under twenty degrees, with a bottle of whiskey?" I looked at her, then surveyed the area, then I focused on the bottle, and went back to her nodding. She smiled at me and we started off.
A few miles later:
Ivy stepped inside trying to warm her freezing body, I shivered as I rushed inside the curch, shutting the doors behind us. I stripped off my clothes, they were entirely wet from when Ivy made me lose my balance and I fell into a ditch, which meant we had lost the whiskey. I stood buck-naked, Ivy forgot her shivering and eyed me. I ran into her bathroom to get our bath going. I heard the thuds of her clothes hitting the floor, followed by her light footsteps, and her arms comfortably snaking around my waist possessivly. I smiled as her familiar heat pressed against me, her hard nipples against my back were sending delicious chills throughout my body.
I felt the water to find that it was wonderfully hot, I corked the tub the thing was the size of a swimming pool. I jumped in, and sighed as the water started to de-frost my body, my eyes narrowed at the sight of Ivy's body I felt a different kind of heat clench at me. She grabbed some of her wonderful bubble bath stuff, and dumped in a fair amount.
"Ivy, have I ever told you, you live like a queen?" She chuckled after slipping into the tub on the opposite side, away from me I worried for a second, but she dismissed it with a charming smile. Soon after settling into the water she started giving me her naughty bedroom eyes, telling me to come here. "Well, I could, but I really want to entirlly remember our first, and I have to be entirly mentally aware for the things I want to try with you." She pouted, but it didn't last very long when I awakwardly made my way over to her, I kissed her collar bone, made my way up to a particularly sensitive scar on her neck. I sucked on it, I ghosted kisses up her jaw, and finally kissed her with pent up desire. 'God, I had missed her.'
She shivered, "What happened to wanting to wait?" I smiled when I heard her question, I retorted with the fact that I was simply trying to get her to be pleased with me again. I settled back against the bath tub, and laid my head against her shoulder, I turned sideways slightly to wrap my arms around her. She made a disapproving noise and told me to wash myself, then for me to get into bed, Ithat she would be there in a moment.
I was on auto-pilot when I washed myself, I had sluggishly stepped out of the shower, and into a towel drying myself half-assed and walked to Ivy's bed, no I walked to our bed, crawled under the covers. I grabbed the pillow Ivy normally slept on, I took in a deep breath of vampire incense, and it was lights out for me.
Title: Curious to understand Part 4
Fandom: Kim Harrison's "The Hollows Series"
Raiting: PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters and the world they live in belong to Kim Harrison.
Summery: Wil Rachel's date with Ivy go as planned?
'Why do I always do this? I always find someone then do something wrong, and they run away from me? Then I mope around like a loser, right before I go after someone else.' I dismissed the thought with a large swallow of the heavy alcohol I bought at the thrift store on the corner, 'The asshole kid had to card me, before he would sell me my whiskey.' I sighed when I took a moment to think about it. 'I really am a loser, I lose the best thing that has ever happened to me because I'm... me. Maybe Mia was right, maybe I can't find love, maybe I never deserved it, because I've never fought hard enough for it.' I shook my head, that couldn't be true could it? 'You will lose EVERYTHING you have ever wanted and you always will!' I dismissed my thoughts again with another huge swallow,'I haven't been able to sleep. Hmm, maybe I should crawl into Ivy's bed when I get home... No! She is pushing you away as it is, don't make it worse.' I missed her, my heart ached, she hardly even came home and when she did she made sure I wasn't there, 'I wonder what Ivy would say if she saw me right now?' I growled in anger at myself for even thinking about it, I could get drunk if I wanted to. 'Your worried about what she thinks, yet you supposedly don't care, quite lying to yourself, You Need Her.'.
I heard a yell of frustration deliberatly snapping me out of my thoughts, but the fact that it was mixed with fear got my attention. My head cocked , I looked in the direction of the sound, I left my bottle in my car taking my keys, I closed the door after I locked it. I stumbled in the direction of the suspicious noise, I saw a tall familiar looking woman trying to fight off a few young living vamps, then I saw the gun. I stepped closer getting steadily more pissed by the second, anger started to turn to heat, then I heard a crackle I looked down, and saw that my body was covered in leyline energy waiting to be used. I smiled I could use my reputation to my advantage, plus it would feel great to just hit someone right now.
They sensed me walk up and they turned from Ivy, she turned to look at me shocked. I smiled, "Hey boys, it's not nice to pick on a lady, didn't your mothers ever teach you manners?" I took a moment to look them all over, trying to size them up, seeing if I could take 'em if I had to. There was a tall one with a red shirt and black leather jacket, blond bangs fell artfully into his face, one of his buddies wore a fendora hat, his style of dress was a bit nicer than the rest he wore a button up shirt, with a tie and dress pants, his hair was cropped short, and neat. The last guy was the most dangerous looking one, he looked like he hadn't showered in days, and he had a certain impatience about him, like a drug junkie, he was the one carrying the gun, a .45 by the looks of it, 'A really big hole, the arterial spread would be everywhere.'
The tall guy that had been holding Ivy by the wrist, sauntered over to me with a look on his face that told me he was an asshole. He leaned in on me bending to catch my eyes, he was trying to pull an aura on me, I leaned in on him getting in his hostile little face. His eyes widened with surprise when he realized his aura wasn't affecting me, "What now pretty boy?" I sneered at him.
He rocked back onto the balls of his feet then settled back to the ground, trying to play of as if he was cool, he was really nervous, 'Anything is possible right now, leave her alone and I won't kill you.' He smiled, and looked me up and down, "I don't know who you are, but you've got to be one tough bitch. Why don't we forget that prude over there, and you come home with me for dinner?" I smiled and played it cool, if he could then why couldn't I?
I looked him up and down, appraising him, making him think I was interested, I licked my lips, "I need to know you name first, sweetheart." His eyes widened at my acceptance of his offer, he offered his hand for my to shake. My smile widened, I clasped his hand in my own, 'What a duche he can't even shake like a man, my Mother is more manly than him.'
He smiled and took a breath to speak, but I cut him off, "Now lets get down to business, my name is Rachel Morgan, or as others call me 'The Demon Practitioner'. I want you to leave Ivy alone to do as she pleases, and if I see you or any of your little cronies near her again I will personally come find you, and make you wish you were in hell. K, sweetheart?"
The blood drained out of his face, he started to sweat, he nervously looked at our joined hands. "That's right Cookie, I can fry your brain right now, and they would never be able to trace it to me, it would look just like a heart failure mixed with a very convenient stroke, which means you wake from the dead nice and pretty, but you would be dumber than a box of hammers. I want you to take out your wallet, and I want you to give me your licence." He nodded, gave me his ID, and called for his guys to leave 'the prude' alone that they didn't need her anyway."Now I know where you live, and if she tells me you ever bothered her again, I will personally see to you end, have a nice day." When they were out of site I turned to leave, when Ivy spoke up I started walking faster. She needed to think about this, and to put it frankly so did I.
"Rachel, wait please." I unlocked my car, and opened my door heading straight for my whiskey, I chugged down at least a fourth of a bottle before turning around.
"What? What could you want now? If you really want to talk then why wouldn't you answer your phone? Why didn't you listen to my messages and call me back? I don't understand why your so damn upset, it was my decision and I chose to spend more time with you because I love you, but it looks like I'm not enough, so I'm going to ask you one more question. Who do you want me to be?" She stopped, she tried to speak, but no words would come out , she swallowed, and tried again but once more nothing.She stopped trying to speak, and looked at the ground, willing to take the punishment for leaving me alone for so long. I growled in frustration, I didn't want it to be like this, I didn't want to feal like the bad guy.
Tears welled in my eyes, "I know my answer, I know you want someone safe, someone away from violence, but I'll never be able to give that to you, no matter how much I wish I could, I can't. The irony of it is that I always wanted kids, but I wanted the beautiful house, the love of my life next to me. If I'm so strong then why can't I keep the ones I love safe?" My voise softened,"I'll tell you a secret, I can promise you that I will never find anyone that means as much to me as you do, but I can also promise that I will never be so vulnerable. You mean too much and as long as I'm with you, near you I will go through any pain so I can make sure you don't have to." I was looking at the ground, I shed a tear it fell onto my hand, "The thing that dug the pain home was, the thought of how many times have you had to feel like a whore because of me, how many scars that you got trying to keep me safe." I smiled, "Your safe now though, you won't ever be hurt by them ever, their filthy smut covered hands will never touch you." I looked at my hands, "And neither will mine, I'll never hurt you again, I promise... I'll be packing my things tonight, I'll be gone by next week." I looked up to see her crying, I tried to smile, it came out watery, "I love you, Ivy, I'm sorry it took me so long. Goodbye."
She moved quick when I turned around, she grabbed my shirt sleeve high near the elbow, her free hand cupped my cheek, tears were freely rolling down her face, "Don't go. Don't leave me." She kept whispering this as she clutched me to her pressing me against the door of my car, 'When did I get bo be so stupid, so blind?' She buried her face in my shoulder, I stayed frozen in time stopped by her again. 'If I stay I'll ruin her life again, if I go she won't have anything left. Where am I supposed to go from here? What is better for her? Loneliness or pain? She deserves better than me, she deserves so much better than this, than this person I've become. When did my life get so ugly?" She was shaking, and clutching me close to her, she felt as if her body would rattle apart against me, my decision was made. I wrapped my arms around her, I pressed my face against her neck.
"Hush, shh, I'm not going anywhere, not anymore. Not anymore, I'm yours I will go where ever you go, I'm yours." She seemed to understand and held me tighter, I kissed the junction between her shoulder and her neck. After around five minutes she let go, she stayed close, I was the first one to speak up, "Lets go home, come on." I soothed her by running my hands up, and down her arms. 'God it felt wonderful to touch her again.'
She gave me a sheepish smile, "I can't drive right now." I looked at her curiously, then realized I was outside of a liquor store, I smiled and laughed, then replied with an 'okay then' sort of comment.
We sat there for a minute scuffing our shoes on the ground, attempting to make a rational thought, then one hit me, "Let's walk! We're only a few miles from home, and we have some really good whiskey with us! It'll be fun."
She laughed, "Your idea of fun is walking home in December, in weather under twenty degrees, with a bottle of whiskey?" I looked at her, then surveyed the area, then I focused on the bottle, and went back to her nodding. She smiled at me and we started off.
A few miles later:
Ivy stepped inside trying to warm her freezing body, I shivered as I rushed inside the curch, shutting the doors behind us. I stripped off my clothes, they were entirely wet from when Ivy made me lose my balance and I fell into a ditch, which meant we had lost the whiskey. I stood buck-naked, Ivy forgot her shivering and eyed me. I ran into her bathroom to get our bath going. I heard the thuds of her clothes hitting the floor, followed by her light footsteps, and her arms comfortably snaking around my waist possessivly. I smiled as her familiar heat pressed against me, her hard nipples against my back were sending delicious chills throughout my body.
I felt the water to find that it was wonderfully hot, I corked the tub the thing was the size of a swimming pool. I jumped in, and sighed as the water started to de-frost my body, my eyes narrowed at the sight of Ivy's body I felt a different kind of heat clench at me. She grabbed some of her wonderful bubble bath stuff, and dumped in a fair amount.
"Ivy, have I ever told you, you live like a queen?" She chuckled after slipping into the tub on the opposite side, away from me I worried for a second, but she dismissed it with a charming smile. Soon after settling into the water she started giving me her naughty bedroom eyes, telling me to come here. "Well, I could, but I really want to entirlly remember our first, and I have to be entirly mentally aware for the things I want to try with you." She pouted, but it didn't last very long when I awakwardly made my way over to her, I kissed her collar bone, made my way up to a particularly sensitive scar on her neck. I sucked on it, I ghosted kisses up her jaw, and finally kissed her with pent up desire. 'God, I had missed her.'
She shivered, "What happened to wanting to wait?" I smiled when I heard her question, I retorted with the fact that I was simply trying to get her to be pleased with me again. I settled back against the bath tub, and laid my head against her shoulder, I turned sideways slightly to wrap my arms around her. She made a disapproving noise and told me to wash myself, then for me to get into bed, Ithat she would be there in a moment.
I was on auto-pilot when I washed myself, I had sluggishly stepped out of the shower, and into a towel drying myself half-assed and walked to Ivy's bed, no I walked to our bed, crawled under the covers. I grabbed the pillow Ivy normally slept on, I took in a deep breath of vampire incense, and it was lights out for me.