Comments | ivy_chan: walk a little straighter, daddy, you're leading me

ivy_chan

walk a little straighter, daddy, you're leading me

Apr 29, 2009 01:47

Another day, another particularly enraging brush with my father's inherent and suffocating racism. I came back from work today to stumble in on an argument between my baby sister and my father over whether or not he'd ever been trying to choose her friends for her. His argument was this: no, he was just trying to get her to hang out with more ( Read more... )

issues, crushing time now, real life, racism, failboat, family

Comments 10

lvsinsanity April 29 2009, 08:23:05 UTC

I...wow.

How can your mom abide by this?

ivy_chan April 29 2009, 21:15:33 UTC

She's pretty much assimilated into thinking she's white.

Just.... aflightoffancy April 29 2009, 23:56:36 UTC

WOW

Re: Just.... ivy_chan April 30 2009, 00:06:32 UTC

There is nothing but the epic WOW.

Re: Just.... ivy_chan May 1 2009, 06:12:19 UTC

...What IS the code for that humongous text, anyway? Do you know the one for glitter text?

redbrunja April 30 2009, 01:31:46 UTC

At least your sister has an older sibling telling her she's more than okay, and that her dad's WRONG.

ivy_chan April 30 2009, 06:17:15 UTC

She's very confident in herself, I think, and I hope my support gives the extra impact. It's hard feeling culturally alienated from members of your own family, and the blatant racism just makes it worse. My dad is like a walking textbook on what NOT to be.

redbrunja April 30 2009, 06:26:15 UTC

Ugh. I can't imagine how demoralizing that must be.

ivy_chan April 30 2009, 06:32:13 UTC

It's insidious, really. Despite going to trips to Puerto Rico, having Spanish-speaking relatives, speaking some Spanish ourselves and sharing pieces of the culture, we were raised very strongly 'white'. Our father didn't want us speaking Spanish when we were little because of paranoia issues, so we didn't learn it until we hit middle school. My dad always accuses my mom of being too close with her family without being aware of how family is a very strong part of that culture. He shows no awareness of anything except the culture's negative parts, which he pronounces to the point of excluding the good. Makes stupid Spanish jokes, and often calls my mom 'spic'.

There are all these subconscious problems and racism that I wasn't even aware of until later on- they just became part of my racial identity. I didn't start questioning what I was until high school, and even then being 'hispanic' was discouraged. I think we were supposed to believe we were 'white', with the Puerto Rican family in the background, like a dead Disney mom.

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