Comments | ivy03: Fic: First Impressions (Firefly)

ivy03

Fic: First Impressions (Firefly)

Jul 02, 2004 10:11

Cross-posted with ff_friday, for the Jayne challenge. My very first Firefly fic, and my first challenge response. Ever.

Title: First Impressions
Author: Ivy
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: G
Disclaimer: They ain't mine.

( First Impressions )

firefly, fanfic

Comments 4

sydni_64 July 2 2004, 19:20:09 UTC

Yayyyy, this fandom needs so much more fic. SO MUCH MORE.

I liked this. Is it meant to be an AU, or more of a precursor to what we learn in "Out of Gas"?

This is probably competely a matter of personal preference, but I did find it a bit disorienting the way the narration shifts without warning from what seems like an omniscient though sympathetic narrator to Jayne himself. Maybe there's some way to signal the shift without breaking up the flow of the fic, as I do like the overall rhythm of it.

ivy03 July 2 2004, 19:47:27 UTC

Actually, I haven't seen the ep yet. I'm only up to Jaynestown. I was worried this would step on continuity, but I got bitten by the bug and had to write it.

Yes, I have a problem with perspective shifts. I try to watch out for it, but that's just how it flows in my brain. Thanks for the critique though.

I'm glad my portrayal of being drunk isn't totally wacky, as I have no firsthand experience myself.

sydni_64 July 2 2004, 22:38:13 UTC

I'm glad my portrayal of being drunk isn't totally wacky, as I have no firsthand experience myself.

hahaha--as someone with *much* firsthand experience, it rang perfectly true to me.

trakkie August 24 2006, 21:12:27 UTC

This is perfect Jayne voice - especially him musing about Zoe's breasts, because I'm sure that's EXACTLY what Jayne did when he first met Zoe. And the description of the bar at the beginning is very vivid, it's brief and not flowery but you get a sense of exactly what it looks like.