musebyquotes | 1.1. Laurence J. Peter quote

[itwontstopme]

1.1. "You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job."
- Laurence J. Peter

Co-written with supermarketsam | Follows THIS

It was the day after Jason had his cripple ass dragged back to Austin to face the Mac music. She had evidentally been pissed off at him at first, standing in the doorway of the apartment with her arms tightly crossed and a frown on her face. But Jason had somehow managed to talk his way out of Mac potentially screaming at him. He somehow managed to explain without any mention of a ring or what his plans for the ring were. She listened and forgave him, making sure to succinctly remind him she would shove his own head up his own ass if he scared her like that again. Then they ended the day with rather hot and hungry quad sex, if he did say so himself.


Now the day after and Sam and Jason were home on their own, lazing on the sofa together with a large bag of chips and sodas. "It's lucky I still have my dick," he realised, and took a drink from the straw. He chewed the end of it. "It was touch and go."

"I don't wanna know about ya losin' ya dick inside Mac," Sam responded as she smirked at him. "If she's fuckin' ya so hard she's just about swallowin' up ya appendage then that is your business."

Jason laughed and nearly splashed some of the soda down his front. "Well yeah, that too. It was pretty damn great sex. But no. She was pissed. Understandably. She really did think I was going to end things, you know? There's no way. I love that girl too much. I told her that, too. I couldn't walk away."

Sam laughed as she watched him and picked up a couple of chips to shove into her mouth. "Well, ya really can't walk away. Roll away, maybe. But if ya did have to roll away you'd just have too much time t'think about leavin' her and then ya would just roll right on back to her. I know ya love her too much, J. And it's nice seein' that. I'm really glad ya stopped her from yellin'. I don't think I coulda coped livin' with ya after it went sour."

"And hopefully not get blisters in the process," Jason sniggered. He rested his head back against the chair. "I'm pretty sure there is no one else stupid enough to nearly fuck up their relationship whilst trying to consider setting it in stone. Because I didn't leave a note and because of Tim's fucking obsession with Tetris."

Sam grinned before she started to giggle. "Well, I did offer my body up, but he turned me down. I'm hopin' it's because he doesn't wanna have the sex get borin', and not because he doesn't want sex with me at all. Which, okay, havin' sex with him this mornin' kinda makes that last part defunct. 'Least I ain't tried to swallow his dick up. And ya know it's only 'cause ya Jason Street that ya could do both the fuckin' up and tryin' to set it into stone. That's a special J Six skill like ya pee sense."

Jason had a whole answer to the Tetris dick sucking comments but when she reached the last part he looked at her and then burst out laughing. "That's not my fault and you're lucky I'm one of the special quads who gets that! Could be a whole lot of rubber sheets otherwise," he said, though now the laughing had started it felt difficult to stop. "I should write a manual on those skills. There's no one else with as fucked up and illogical luck as me, though. Guaranteed, the one time I actually need that sense to work, I piss my pants in front of hundreds or something."

Sam was laughing with J, and clutched her hand to her side. "Oh my god, my pee sense is tinglin'!" She laughed even more at her own silly joke and looked at Jason. "I am glad every single day that ya are one those 'special quads'. I don't think rubber sheets is conducive to a hot sex life, but it might help the cleanin' up process."

"It's not in my side, it's in my back," Jason told her, almost snorting as he still laughed. "It's just like a feeling, only not! But look, that's the thing. I'm not always going to feel it, it doesn't always work, and admittedly there has already been once so far that I totally embarrassed myself in front of Mac, but you know what? She didn't even care. The pee sense failed me and I survived to tell the tale!"

Sam was lost to a tide of giggles as she kicked her feet out in front of her and covered her face with her hands. "OH MY GOD! Ya pee sense failed!" It shouldn't have been funny, but Sam was finding it hilarious. It was probably because of the idea of a pee sense, not so much J wetting himself. "Ya need a secondary pee sense."

"What?" Jason laughed, tears forming in his eyes now. "Like what? Bells and whistles? A cheer squad? A speaker that plays Nirvana everytime I've gotta pee?"

"At least it would rock!" Sam replied as she clutched at her side because it started to hurt. "Ya could always get T to record a special pee message. I know I'd definitely like hearin' it every time ya gotta pee."

Jason waved his hand. "Nope, nope! I've got it!" he declared. "The Tetris theme song!"

Sam had been attempting to take a sip of soda and nearly spurted it out all over herself. As it was a rush of bubbles went to her nose and she fanned her hand in its direction as she giggled. "Fuck! Oh my god, that's perfect!"

Jason had to lean forward he was laughing so hard. He shoved his drink between his legs and braced his wrist on the side of it so he didn't spill it. "Need to clear a path to the bathroom, though. Every time he filches my phone to play, I'll be thinking I need to take a wiz!" he laughed, wiping his eyes.

Sam managed a giggle-snort which only made her laugh more and she had to try and set her can down on the little table next to the sofa before she lost it. "Oh, fuck, I can't breathe! I'm never gonna be able to breathe again! Ya pee sense will go into overdrive."

"Hey, I'm not one big pee ball! I go the same amount of times as anyone else! It just takes a bit of forward planning. My bladder has a filofax." Jason took a sip of his drink, still laughing, though it was calming down now. He coughed a little, trying to prevent it from going down the wrong way. "There's probably a DVD for that, too. Quad porn, pee style." He shuddered, remembering his godawful blind date.

Sam choked on a giggle and hid her face. "Oh my god! No, no, no... ew! I don't wanna know that!" Her entire body shuddered as she got the visual. "Make it go away!"

"Hey, you didn't have to live it!" Jason pointed out. "What would you do if Tim told you he wanted to piss on you? Trust me, you'd be scarred for life."

Sam shuddered again as she stuck her tongue out. "I would probably punch his damn lights out if he suggested it!"

Jason smirked and wet his lips. "So, do you have any wild fantasies you want to try out with him, then? Not gross like that, just anything really."

Sam's eyebrows went up at the question and she had to let herself calm down before she even tried to answer it. "Um, I don't think so. I kinda went through all my imaginin' of wild fantasties before we got together. Quite a few got dreamed up listenin' to his brief run on that Christian station while he was chasin' Lyla."

Jason laughed and shook his head. "You did not listen," he sniggered and then his eyebrows shot up. "You did! You listened!" This just started him laughing all over again.

Sam blushed a little as she tried to pull her t-shirt up and over her head so she could hide. "Ain't like ya never did anythin' stupid 'cause ya liked a girl!"

"I didn't walk around with a radio taped to my ear to hear those sexy sultry Tim-esque tones. Did you get a kick out of hearing him talk about how to play a tackle?" Jason teased, smirking.

She was peeking out at him from the top of her t-shirt and tugged it down just enough to free her mouth. "It ain't that bad, is it? I can't help it if his voice does things t'me! It always has... And maybe. Just a little. Yeah."

Jason snorted. "It would probably be better if he wasn't only doing it to get into Lyla's pants. You listening is almost as amusing as him doing it in the first place," he decided. "But I know better than anyone how stupid we can get when we fancy someone."

"Or tryin' to get a ring for 'em. Please make sure Tim ain't stupid if he ever does the ring thing for me..." She trailed off as she looked at Jason. "So are ya still gonna ask Mac?"

"Yeah, but wouldn't you want him to do his ring thing the way he needs to, even if it does suck?" Jason asked, glancing at her. He dug around in his pocket and pulled the ring out. He hadn't found a place to hide it yet. He snapped the velvet box open and peered at it. "I want to, I just keep chickening out."

"Lemme see?" Sam asked as she pulled her t-shirt back down all the way, no longer feeling ashamed of her dirty secret. "And yeah, I guess I would... I can't believe ya really gonna do it. I might squeal."

Jason handed her the ring box. After all the chaos and fuss, the ring he had fallen in love with had been simple and tasteful, much like Mac herself. It was a square-cut diamond on a white gold band with two smaller diamonds on either side of the bigger one. He had been drawn to it and still loved it. It was nothing like the gaudy thing Lyla had picked out. She had wanted to pick her own because she didn't trust him to know her tastes, but this time he had done it all on his own and he was proud of himself. "I'm peeing myself... not literally. There's no Tetris theme, but you get what I mean."

Sam let out a soft 'ooh' noise as she stared at the ring. It really was beautiful and she could see it sitting on Mac's finger. "Oh, J... it's perfect. And I do know what ya mean. I just really hope it doesn't turn out literal because that would be kinda awkward, even if it would make for a memorable proposal."

"Hey, it's still early days. I could pee myself and throw up out of nerves. This ring could become a very expensive doorstop." Jason looked at it again, chewing his lip. "I'm scared she'll say no, is all."

Sam gaped at him as she handed the ring back. "She ain't gonna say no!"

"How can you be so sure?" Jason asked her, chewing his lip as he took the ring back. "This is, like, the forever deal, S. It's huge. She might not be ready to committ to this forever or might not be ready to get married. Hell, she might not even like the ring!"

"Because she's been thinkin' about kids!" Sam blurted out before she clapped her hands over her mouth and her blue eyes went wide. Mac was going to kill her.

Jason nearly dropped the ring and sucked in a sharp breath. "What?!" he squeaked and then shook his head. "Oh god no. Please don't tell me she's pregnant!"

Sam shook her head emphatically just so he would stop having a heart attack. She slowly peeled her hands from her mouth and wet her lips. "No, no. Not pregnant. It's just she wanted t'talk t'ya about 'em, and how ya feel now, and maybe if they'd be somethin' ya wanted. With her. Eventually."

Jason exhaled and leaned forward to shove the ring onto the coffee table. This new take on things seemed to make it lose it's shine all of a sudden. "I probably can't have kids, S," he mumbled.

Sam drew her bottom lip between her teeth and mentally kicked herself for being so insensitive. Now they were both going to kill her. She shifted on the sofa so she could put her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry, J. I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. I know ya probably can't, and Mac would, too. It's just... it shows ya both thinkin' about the future though, right? And maybe ya do have a miracle baby inside ya... just not with whatsherface. Ya sperm's been waitin' for Mac."

"I dunno," Jason said quietly. "I think it maybe went down the pan with my ability to walk. I didn't... I didn't even think to ask her about kids. I'm rushing this. It's stupid."

Sam shook her head. "No, no, you're not. Really. Ya just need t'talk t'her is all. Kids are gonna be a conversation ya need to have anyways. Mac just wanted to know where ya sat on the whole thing. It's not a make or break deal... she's gonna be with ya regardless."

"Would you be alright with Tim if he couldn't have kids?" Jason asked, his eyes averted down to the floor.

"Yes," Sam breathed out, not even hesitating. "I want him for him, not because he's gonna help start the next human race. Not that I wouldn't mind kids, but I want T no matter what."

"It's a big thing, you know. What if she's always wanted them?" Jason let out a heavy breath and played with the ring on his can. "Damnit..."

Sam pressed a kiss to his head and sighed. "I'm really sorry, J. I didn't mean t'burst ya bubble. Please, don't get all sad. She only wants t'talk to ya about 'em. She didn't say if she did, or didn't. She knew ya were cripple from the get go, so it ain't like she can't say she didn't know."

Jason nodded. "It's my fault, though. I've got it into her head I need to be perfect for her. When I try, I'm obviously going to keep falling on my ass because whether I like it or not, I'm permanently unperfect."

"Ain't it imperfect? Not that English was ever my strong suit. No one needs perfect. Ya tried to be perfect for Lyla and hated every second." Sam hugged him again and rest her head against his back. "I like ya imperfect, or unperfect, or whatever the hell it is. Makes ya J. Anythin' else is tryin' to be that QB persona ya hated."

Jason just shrugged a little. Unperfect felt like it worked better. "I'm suck a jerk. She and I could've been talking about important things rather than me running around Austin hell-bent on finding the perfect ring because I just wanted it to be perfect for her. Like, it would've made up for the crap sex life and the fact there can be no long walks along the beach at sunset. I swear I hit my head harder that day on the field than most thought."

"J?" Sam asked, leaning forward to put her face in his.

Jason looked up at her hesitantly, wondering if it was too much to ask her to slap some sense into him. "Yeah?"

The slap was definitely on her mind, but instead she fixed him with her patented Sam Look. "Stop bein' an ass. The ring is perfect, and don't keep thinkin' ya did anythin' wrong. Maybe ya shoulda told her ya were goin', but ya didn't, and she's already forgiven ya for it. I also swear to God if ya keep mopin' I'm gonna go cut butt holes in each and every pair of ya pants, and ya wheelchair. Okay?"

Jason went to say something but stopped, raising his eyebrows instead. "Well, at least then I wouldn't need the Tetris theme."

Sam laughed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Please just stop worryin', okay?"

Jason dropped his head back against the sofa with a small moan. "Just revert to the slapping. I can't even get drunk because Tim will kill me."

Sam looked at him. "Ya do remember gettin' drunk with Tyra, right? So ya just can't get drunk here?" She raised her hand as she arched an eyebrow. "Ya really want me to slap ya?"

"No, I don't really remember that. I just remember the epic hangover and how many times I had to pull over on the way back from Austin." Jason scrunched his nose up and shook his head. "No, but I can't promise to stop worrying. It's just what I do."

Sam gave him a gentle shove before she fell back into her spot on the sofa. "Ya need a new hobby, J."

"I'm taking up Tetris. Tim's sacked. It'll keep me busy on account of the fact my fingers don't work," Jason said, smirking at her as he shook his head. "I'll stop ear bashing you with it all now. I'll try to be good."

Sam stretched out her leg and pushed her foot against Jason's shoulder as she smirked back at him. "Ya can ear bash me any time, ya know that. But just so ya don't feel like the biggest loser here... I still have T's radio shows on my iPod."

"In that case, I need to schedule an appointment time with you in, oh, probably about three days when I start freaking out about a real proposal," Jason decided and then just looked at her, starting to snigger again. "Tell me you don't listen to them when you go to sleep at night."

"I'll write it into my schedule..." Sam said as she mimed writing it down. "And... not anymore now I sleep next t'the real thing."

"Why still the iPod, then?" Jason asked, reaching over to collect the ring to shove back into his pocket. He was going to need a hiding place for it or Mac might start wondering about the obscurely shaped bulge in his pants.

Sam shrugged. "Don't know... I listened to it when T was in hospital. Guess I still feel like I need a piece of him for when he ain't around."

"Why don't you filch one of his Panthers jerseys?" Jason asked. "Mac wears mine all the time. She was wearing it when I got home the other day, even if she was shooting me death glares from the doorway. She still looked hot. I never get sick of seeing her in."

"I wear one of his flannel shirts sometimes. I kinda think any girl he's ever been with has done the same, though." Sam's nose crinkled in distaste. "And that was different. Ya gave it to her 'cause ya knew she'd love it."

Jason rested his head against the couch and listened closely. "You wouldn't love something of his? What about one of his hoodies or something? Hell, I even love when Mac wears my socks."

Sam smiled softly as she picked up her soda again. "I wear his socks to bed. But yeah, 'course I'd love somethin' of his. I just... I don't know what I could take that would really make it mine, ya know? Kinda feel like it should be his decision, or somethin'. I'd love anythin' of his."

"Guys don't think about stuff like that on their own, S. You should know that. I had no idea why Mac would want some old jersey of mine when she could buy a perfectly good brand new one. We don't think like girls," Jason insisted. "Flowers and chocolates and teddy bears, maybe. We're good with that stuff. The sentimental isn't so easy."

Sam looked at Jason as she pulled her mouth to the side a little in thought. "Well, ya know T and all his girls... What's somethin' none of 'em have tainted?"

"I wasn't exactly taking notes on what his other 'girls' were wearing. I actually stopped taking notice of who was in Tim's bed around Sophomore year," Jason admitted with a snort. "Isn't anything he still has technically not tainted. I don't think he's actually given anything of his to anyone."

"But he ain't givin' it if I'm takin' it," Sam argued quietly. "Is he?"

Jason's nose crinkled up again. "S, it's Tim we're talking about, not Fabio."

"Fabio's got nothin' on T," Sam replied as she shifted on the sofa, clearly trying to work out which item of Tim's clothing she would take as her own. "My pee sense is tinglin'."

Jason snorted. "It doesn't tingle, it's just like a faint shiver up my spine. Sort of."

"I can't say ya pee sense is shiverin'. That just sounds even weirder," Sam said as she started to laugh.

"Yeah, because 'pee sense' isn't weird at all," Jason laughed, shaking his head. "What would y'all do without my quad ass to rag on, huh?"

Sam smirked. "Play Tetris."

All muses referenced with permission

Word Count | 3,571