just_muse_me | 16.1.1. William D. Brown quote
16.1.1. “Failure is an event, never a person.” - William D. Brown
Co-written with supermarketsam
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Sam deserved an award. Or maybe she just needed to start her own PI business. After she'd called the number, she'd discovered the phone Jason had called from had been Tyra Collette's. Which was an explanation she was planning on getting off J just as soon as she got a hold of his cripple ass. Since she and Tyra hadn't exactly been friends, the two blondes hadn't kept in touch, so the only person she figured who would have her new address was Tim. They were supposed to be in-laws now. But Tim being Tim didn't have an address book. Nope, he had a series of pieces of paper 'filed away' for easy access. Meaning he had a drawer chock full of crap that Sam had had to wade through for an hour before she found Tyra's address in Austin.
And Tim had slept through all of this, Sam leaving before it was even eight o'clock in the morning. She left a note for Tim telling him she'd gone to Austin in his truck, and that he better keep from collapsing in the gym since she had plans for him when she got back. Then she sent a text to Mac telling her she was going to get J and she'd bring him back home. And not to worry because he was okay. The drive to Austin on her own went slowly, not even music helping pass the time. Sam realised for the first time that she was used to making this trip with either J, T, or both of them. It had been a while since she'd driven anywhere on her own.
She checked Tyra's address again the closer she got to Austin, trying to remember her way around the big city, not wanting to get lost while she was on a mission to rescue J. Because if she wound up calling T for help, she wasn't exactly sure how he'd get here since she had his truck. Luckily she found the apartment building easily enough and stared up at it as her nose crinkled. For Tyra's sake she hoped the other girl was going to wind up moving onto the TU campus because the place was a dive. Sam tucked her phone and the scrap of paper into her pocket and climbed out, momentarily glad that Tyra at least lived on the ground floor, otherwise manouevering J's chair would have been so much fun.
Sam banged on Tyra's door, and stared in disbelief as one of the numbers dropped off and hit the floor in disbelief. At least she and J had found a place that wasn't falling apart.
When Jason had woken up about half an hour ago, he had no clue where he was. All he knew was that he was in some apartment and he felt like dogs balls. He was on a sofa... sort of. He was half on a sofa and half off it. It had taken close to twenty minutes for him to get himself into his chair, which proved a huge error. The nausea burned through him to match the horrific headache he had, but he managed to find the bathroom in the tiny, grungy little apartment. He threw up like there was no tomorrow and it was just easing off the banging started. What the fuck? Was that his head? Surely his head wouldn't be so evil as to mentally make a noise like that? He pushed back with his hand that had been braced on the rim of the toilet and pulled the chain to flush it. The room was spinning and when he tried to wheel his chair, his hands just slipped weakly off the bars.
He moaned and put his aching head into his hands. Oh god, the banging was back. "Shut up..." he groaned weakly, wishing he could curl up in a ball and die. That probably wouldn't stop the banging though, so he just leaned forward in the chair so he could see the apartment door through the bathroom one. "STOP IT!" he called back roughly. "I'm trying to die here!"
"You're gonna do more than die if ya cripple ass ain't back in Dillon TODAY!" Sam yelled back. She did stop the knocking though, and was also trying to reattach the number back on Tyra's door without a screwdriver. Maybe she'd just leave it inside with a note of apology. They hadn't stayed in touch, but she did kind of like Tyra, and felt bad for ruining the door. "Let me in, J!"
"Sam?" Jason mumbled with a frown, and even that hurting his head. It was a process and felt like it took an eternity to get to the door. Whose door was it? Was it Tyra's? Jesus. He could hardly remember a fucking thing. He unlatched the door somehow and pulled it open before hunching back over and hugging his stomach. "What's going on?" he asked in bewilderment.
Sam snorted as she looked down at him. The anger masking her concern for now. "Ya tell me, Mr I'm gonna propose drunk to my girlfriend, but call my best friend instead." Sam leaned forward to get a look at Jason's face. "Do I even wanna know why you and Tyra are drunk? Is she even here? Has she left ya on ya own? I'll kill her... No, I won't. I'll lock her in a room with Lyla and leave 'em there."
Jason probably looked totally and utterly pathetic as he tried to focus enough to look around the apartment. "Um..." he mumbled, trying to formulate an answer, but nothing came. "I... don't know," he had to say honestly, rubbing the palm of his hand across his pounding forehead. "Is this her place? Who's proposing?" he asked and then backed up in his chair a little. "Can we continue this in the bathroom, just to be on the safe side?"
Sam's features melted, and she nodded as she bit her lip briefly. It wasn't fair yelling at him when he looked so pathetic. It would be like kicking a puppy. "Mac's worried sick she's done somethin' wrong," she felt obliged to tell him. Then she pulled her phone out as she shut the door behind them and followed Jason into the bathroom. She hit the speaker button and let the voice mail message play in all its drunken glory.
Jason was confused with what she was doing at first, but as the message played over his face went from confused, to shocked, to mortified to down right horrified. His bloodshot eyes stared at the phone in Sam's hand and his stomach turned warningly, causing him to put a hand up to his mouth. But he swallowed, eyes still planted on the phone. "O-Oh... shit..." he finally managed to choke out.
"Just be grateful ya got the number wrong and called me instead. J, I love ya, but sometimes I really wonder what goes through ya head." She kept a hold of her phone as she settled herself down on the floor, figuring Jason wasn't ready to move out of the bathroom yet. "I get that ya probably got an idea in ya head about the ring, but ya left Mac high and dry, then got drunk with Tyra, and apparently got it into ya head to propose. I think... I think maybe ya skipped a couple steps somewhere."
Jason looked like he wanted to say things, but his mouth was just hanging open as he shook his head. "I... I... I've turned into my own worst nightmare! I'm wondering what the hell goes through my head because I can't remember any of that! T-The ring... yeah, I... I remember that. Some guy wanted to buy that one and I talked him out of it. B-But all the rest? What would've happened if she heard this?! Oh my god, please tell me she didn't hear it!" he moaned, burying his face into his hands.
Sam rest a hand on his arm lightly and looked up at him. "She didn't hear it. I didn't play it for her, I didn't play it for anyone. Figured I'd rather hunt ya down, because Mac is goin' outta her mind wonderin' why ya disappeared. I kinda guessed it was to do with the ring, but ya been gone a whole day. Then I got the message, and figured I needed to come find out what was goin' on. If ya gonna propose, J, it's better to be sober, and better to do it to her face."
Jason stayed buried in his hands. "I tried to call her," came the mumbled moan. "My phone was dead. Couldn't find a fucking disabled pay phone either. I realised halfway here I forgot to leave a note but I was just... I dunno! I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking, so I just came back! I thought it would be a quick trip, but I chickened out and I kept chickening out until I spoke to Tyra and it just all went from there!"
Sam took a deep breath and scrolled through her contacts on her phone before she dialled Mac's number for him and held out the phone for him to take. "Talk to her now, J. Just let her know you're okay, and that she didn't do anythin' wrong."
Jason swallowed and took the phone. Even the rings in his ear was making him nauseous all over again. But it rang out and he was a little relieved. If he was going to grovel, it was better Mac had a chance to smack him around if she wanted to. "She's not answering. She might be in the bathroom or something. I'll keep trying." He shook his head. "Why was I such a stupid asshole? What the hell was I thinking?!"
"I don't know!" Sam replied as she threw her arms up helplessly. "Ya got focused on the ring, I guess... then ya got drunk. Don't ya know gettin' drunk just gets ya into trouble? 'Specially when ya try and call the one ya love. Have ya forgotten that time we got drunk a couple years back and I tried to dial T's number on my shoe? That never woulda ended well."
Jason shook his head, which set a thumping wave of pain from head to toe. "Holy shit, I feel like crap..." he moaned. "It wasn't the ring. I know it seemed like it was, but it wasn't. Fuck, the last time I got this drunk was in Mexico and that's hardly a shout-out for sanity. But it wasn't the ring... it was... it was Mac. I feel like something in my head should be clicking in right about now telling me to slow the fuck down or telling me that I couldn't possibly be ready to know if I want to marry her. But nothing's clicking and it was driving me insane. What if I'm just feeling like this because she's the first girlfriend who has really loved me for everything beyond the chair and the first girlfriend for accepting me as I am and loving me unconditionally without wanting anything in return? What if I'm just caught up in that, S? I got the damn ring but I just... I just..." He trailed off helpless, not even sure what he was trying to say in his hangover-fogged brain.
Sam stood up and wrapped her arms around Jason as she leaned down, and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Ya know what? If she is the first girlfriend to make ya feel like that, then just hang on to her. And... for what it's worth, I don't think she'd feel like it was too fast. I think you two are on the same page, ya just ain't told each other ya are."
"My god... could I have fucked this up any more if I tried?" Jason finally sighed. "Worst part is, I hardly remember any of the fucking up part. I mean, forgetting the note. Which could well have been the crux of all this. Now everything is a total screw up and I'm hungover. Definitely not buying a lottery ticket this week. This is probably karma for something I did in the past."
Sam kissed the top of his head and pulled back to give his shoulder a slap as she put on her serious face. "That ain't Jason Street talkin'! That ain't the former Panthers QB, guy who got a whole entire team devoted to him, and willin' to follow any play ya threw at 'em. This ain't the Jason Street I know that would do anythin' to get what he wants, and anythin' to make Mac happy. So ya know what? Yeah, it was a mistake. Yeah, ya coulda done things a bit better. But they're done, and now ya gotta pull some of that J Six magic out and make the best out of a bad situation. I'm gonna take ya back to Dillon, and you're gonna grovel like ya ain't ever grovelled before and talk it out with Mac and make up and have hot quad sex. Got it?"
Jason let out a heavy breath and peered up at Sam sheepishly. "I'm gonna need really, really strong coffee, and a lot of it," he said. "And maybe, like, a whole pack of Tylenol."
Taylor MacKenzie [comeswithcuffs], Tim Riggins [texas33forever] and Tyra Collette [wannabeimprtant] referenced with permission
Word Count | 2,229
Co-written with supermarketsam
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Sam deserved an award. Or maybe she just needed to start her own PI business. After she'd called the number, she'd discovered the phone Jason had called from had been Tyra Collette's. Which was an explanation she was planning on getting off J just as soon as she got a hold of his cripple ass. Since she and Tyra hadn't exactly been friends, the two blondes hadn't kept in touch, so the only person she figured who would have her new address was Tim. They were supposed to be in-laws now. But Tim being Tim didn't have an address book. Nope, he had a series of pieces of paper 'filed away' for easy access. Meaning he had a drawer chock full of crap that Sam had had to wade through for an hour before she found Tyra's address in Austin.
And Tim had slept through all of this, Sam leaving before it was even eight o'clock in the morning. She left a note for Tim telling him she'd gone to Austin in his truck, and that he better keep from collapsing in the gym since she had plans for him when she got back. Then she sent a text to Mac telling her she was going to get J and she'd bring him back home. And not to worry because he was okay. The drive to Austin on her own went slowly, not even music helping pass the time. Sam realised for the first time that she was used to making this trip with either J, T, or both of them. It had been a while since she'd driven anywhere on her own.
She checked Tyra's address again the closer she got to Austin, trying to remember her way around the big city, not wanting to get lost while she was on a mission to rescue J. Because if she wound up calling T for help, she wasn't exactly sure how he'd get here since she had his truck. Luckily she found the apartment building easily enough and stared up at it as her nose crinkled. For Tyra's sake she hoped the other girl was going to wind up moving onto the TU campus because the place was a dive. Sam tucked her phone and the scrap of paper into her pocket and climbed out, momentarily glad that Tyra at least lived on the ground floor, otherwise manouevering J's chair would have been so much fun.
Sam banged on Tyra's door, and stared in disbelief as one of the numbers dropped off and hit the floor in disbelief. At least she and J had found a place that wasn't falling apart.
When Jason had woken up about half an hour ago, he had no clue where he was. All he knew was that he was in some apartment and he felt like dogs balls. He was on a sofa... sort of. He was half on a sofa and half off it. It had taken close to twenty minutes for him to get himself into his chair, which proved a huge error. The nausea burned through him to match the horrific headache he had, but he managed to find the bathroom in the tiny, grungy little apartment. He threw up like there was no tomorrow and it was just easing off the banging started. What the fuck? Was that his head? Surely his head wouldn't be so evil as to mentally make a noise like that? He pushed back with his hand that had been braced on the rim of the toilet and pulled the chain to flush it. The room was spinning and when he tried to wheel his chair, his hands just slipped weakly off the bars.
He moaned and put his aching head into his hands. Oh god, the banging was back. "Shut up..." he groaned weakly, wishing he could curl up in a ball and die. That probably wouldn't stop the banging though, so he just leaned forward in the chair so he could see the apartment door through the bathroom one. "STOP IT!" he called back roughly. "I'm trying to die here!"
"You're gonna do more than die if ya cripple ass ain't back in Dillon TODAY!" Sam yelled back. She did stop the knocking though, and was also trying to reattach the number back on Tyra's door without a screwdriver. Maybe she'd just leave it inside with a note of apology. They hadn't stayed in touch, but she did kind of like Tyra, and felt bad for ruining the door. "Let me in, J!"
"Sam?" Jason mumbled with a frown, and even that hurting his head. It was a process and felt like it took an eternity to get to the door. Whose door was it? Was it Tyra's? Jesus. He could hardly remember a fucking thing. He unlatched the door somehow and pulled it open before hunching back over and hugging his stomach. "What's going on?" he asked in bewilderment.
Sam snorted as she looked down at him. The anger masking her concern for now. "Ya tell me, Mr I'm gonna propose drunk to my girlfriend, but call my best friend instead." Sam leaned forward to get a look at Jason's face. "Do I even wanna know why you and Tyra are drunk? Is she even here? Has she left ya on ya own? I'll kill her... No, I won't. I'll lock her in a room with Lyla and leave 'em there."
Jason probably looked totally and utterly pathetic as he tried to focus enough to look around the apartment. "Um..." he mumbled, trying to formulate an answer, but nothing came. "I... don't know," he had to say honestly, rubbing the palm of his hand across his pounding forehead. "Is this her place? Who's proposing?" he asked and then backed up in his chair a little. "Can we continue this in the bathroom, just to be on the safe side?"
Sam's features melted, and she nodded as she bit her lip briefly. It wasn't fair yelling at him when he looked so pathetic. It would be like kicking a puppy. "Mac's worried sick she's done somethin' wrong," she felt obliged to tell him. Then she pulled her phone out as she shut the door behind them and followed Jason into the bathroom. She hit the speaker button and let the voice mail message play in all its drunken glory.
Jason was confused with what she was doing at first, but as the message played over his face went from confused, to shocked, to mortified to down right horrified. His bloodshot eyes stared at the phone in Sam's hand and his stomach turned warningly, causing him to put a hand up to his mouth. But he swallowed, eyes still planted on the phone. "O-Oh... shit..." he finally managed to choke out.
"Just be grateful ya got the number wrong and called me instead. J, I love ya, but sometimes I really wonder what goes through ya head." She kept a hold of her phone as she settled herself down on the floor, figuring Jason wasn't ready to move out of the bathroom yet. "I get that ya probably got an idea in ya head about the ring, but ya left Mac high and dry, then got drunk with Tyra, and apparently got it into ya head to propose. I think... I think maybe ya skipped a couple steps somewhere."
Jason looked like he wanted to say things, but his mouth was just hanging open as he shook his head. "I... I... I've turned into my own worst nightmare! I'm wondering what the hell goes through my head because I can't remember any of that! T-The ring... yeah, I... I remember that. Some guy wanted to buy that one and I talked him out of it. B-But all the rest? What would've happened if she heard this?! Oh my god, please tell me she didn't hear it!" he moaned, burying his face into his hands.
Sam rest a hand on his arm lightly and looked up at him. "She didn't hear it. I didn't play it for her, I didn't play it for anyone. Figured I'd rather hunt ya down, because Mac is goin' outta her mind wonderin' why ya disappeared. I kinda guessed it was to do with the ring, but ya been gone a whole day. Then I got the message, and figured I needed to come find out what was goin' on. If ya gonna propose, J, it's better to be sober, and better to do it to her face."
Jason stayed buried in his hands. "I tried to call her," came the mumbled moan. "My phone was dead. Couldn't find a fucking disabled pay phone either. I realised halfway here I forgot to leave a note but I was just... I dunno! I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking, so I just came back! I thought it would be a quick trip, but I chickened out and I kept chickening out until I spoke to Tyra and it just all went from there!"
Sam took a deep breath and scrolled through her contacts on her phone before she dialled Mac's number for him and held out the phone for him to take. "Talk to her now, J. Just let her know you're okay, and that she didn't do anythin' wrong."
Jason swallowed and took the phone. Even the rings in his ear was making him nauseous all over again. But it rang out and he was a little relieved. If he was going to grovel, it was better Mac had a chance to smack him around if she wanted to. "She's not answering. She might be in the bathroom or something. I'll keep trying." He shook his head. "Why was I such a stupid asshole? What the hell was I thinking?!"
"I don't know!" Sam replied as she threw her arms up helplessly. "Ya got focused on the ring, I guess... then ya got drunk. Don't ya know gettin' drunk just gets ya into trouble? 'Specially when ya try and call the one ya love. Have ya forgotten that time we got drunk a couple years back and I tried to dial T's number on my shoe? That never woulda ended well."
Jason shook his head, which set a thumping wave of pain from head to toe. "Holy shit, I feel like crap..." he moaned. "It wasn't the ring. I know it seemed like it was, but it wasn't. Fuck, the last time I got this drunk was in Mexico and that's hardly a shout-out for sanity. But it wasn't the ring... it was... it was Mac. I feel like something in my head should be clicking in right about now telling me to slow the fuck down or telling me that I couldn't possibly be ready to know if I want to marry her. But nothing's clicking and it was driving me insane. What if I'm just feeling like this because she's the first girlfriend who has really loved me for everything beyond the chair and the first girlfriend for accepting me as I am and loving me unconditionally without wanting anything in return? What if I'm just caught up in that, S? I got the damn ring but I just... I just..." He trailed off helpless, not even sure what he was trying to say in his hangover-fogged brain.
Sam stood up and wrapped her arms around Jason as she leaned down, and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Ya know what? If she is the first girlfriend to make ya feel like that, then just hang on to her. And... for what it's worth, I don't think she'd feel like it was too fast. I think you two are on the same page, ya just ain't told each other ya are."
"My god... could I have fucked this up any more if I tried?" Jason finally sighed. "Worst part is, I hardly remember any of the fucking up part. I mean, forgetting the note. Which could well have been the crux of all this. Now everything is a total screw up and I'm hungover. Definitely not buying a lottery ticket this week. This is probably karma for something I did in the past."
Sam kissed the top of his head and pulled back to give his shoulder a slap as she put on her serious face. "That ain't Jason Street talkin'! That ain't the former Panthers QB, guy who got a whole entire team devoted to him, and willin' to follow any play ya threw at 'em. This ain't the Jason Street I know that would do anythin' to get what he wants, and anythin' to make Mac happy. So ya know what? Yeah, it was a mistake. Yeah, ya coulda done things a bit better. But they're done, and now ya gotta pull some of that J Six magic out and make the best out of a bad situation. I'm gonna take ya back to Dillon, and you're gonna grovel like ya ain't ever grovelled before and talk it out with Mac and make up and have hot quad sex. Got it?"
Jason let out a heavy breath and peered up at Sam sheepishly. "I'm gonna need really, really strong coffee, and a lot of it," he said. "And maybe, like, a whole pack of Tylenol."
Taylor MacKenzie [comeswithcuffs], Tim Riggins [texas33forever] and Tyra Collette [wannabeimprtant] referenced with permission
Word Count | 2,229