Silence is Deafening (1/?)
Title: Silence is Deafening
Author: ittbittyriddle
Rating: NC-17
POV: 1st, Rian.
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Rian Dawson
Summary: After a car accident, Alex and Rian's already troubled relationship takes a turn for the worst. But can they overcome a new physical barrier between them, or will it ruin them?
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea and the writing itself.
Authors Note: Unlike my other fics, I'm going to take this one slow. Not have five things happen in one chapter. I hope you like it(:
Tumblr?
I can’t remember most of it. I remember Alex crying, screaming for me to say something, anything, and turning a little and seeing his head bleeding. I heard the wailing of the ambulance, saw the flashing lights, and saw the blood coming out of my neck and felt it coming up my throat. Soon enough, I blacked out, my hands feeling cold and my body shaking a little. I couldn’t see, but I could feel the bumps in the road as we drove to the hospital. I felt conscious, but at the same time I could not see nor hear. When we reached the hospital, I could see again, I saw flashes of light, the ceiling of the hospital, and then saw the mask put over my nose and mouth that would help me fall asleep before they could operate.
Funny thing was, I wasn’t scared at all. I was just... confused.
><><><><><
After what seemed like only a few minutes I found myself awakening in one of the hospital beds, turning and only seeing white. Everything seemed white. It took about five minutes for my vision to fully regain itself; I had to blink numerous times to even make out anything. When I turned to my left there was another bed, and what do you know, Alex sitting in it. He was propped up, watching television, and must’ve heard me move in the bed. He turned and saw me trying to sit up, and he hit the button for a nurse.
“No, no, baby, stay where you are, don’t move,” he said in the sweetest tone I think he’d ever spoken. “The doctor said you shouldn’t move until he comes in to see you, and don’t talk. You hurt your throat.”
Yeah, I definitely hurt my throat. Obviously. Because I can feel the searing pain when I turn my head again to meet my eyes with Alex. I nod, not wanting to talk anyway. It’d probably hurt.
“I’m sorry,” he said almost right away. “I’m sorry I got angry, and I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, and I’m sorry I called you the names I called you.”
I smiled just a little bit to show him that it was okay, and then I laid my head back down, my neck hurting like crazy. A few minutes later, a nurse came into the room and apologized and then explained that there was a patient next door that had a mix up with her medication and had to deal with that. She came over to me, propped me up, took my blood pressure, temperature, and took a small sample of blood for my blood sugar. There was an IV in my arm for what reason I wasn’t told. When she left me she went over to Alex, and I turned my head a little to see him. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, and he was moving fine, just a little bruised on his legs and arms, and a little cut on his neck.
Seeing Alex’s injuries made me take a look at myself. I looked down at my lap and saw my hands all cut up, and I pulled down the covers to see my legs rather bruised and contused. I shuddered and pulled the covers back up, touching my neck. I winced at the pain and felt a rough gauze bandage that went all the way around my neck. I breathed out heavily and shakily, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. It was most definitely going to be a hard night.
><><><><><
In a few days Alex was discharged, but he stayed with me every day and night. It was about the fifth day when the doctor told me I could take off my bandage and could talk. They didn’t want me moving too much in my throat until they knew it was healed.
“Well,” the doctor said with a smile. “You’re free to talk and tomorrow we can start you on solid foods.”
I opened my mouth and tried to say thank you but nothing came out. My eyes went wide and I tried again, but nothing was coming out but air.
“Is he supposed to not be able to say anything?” Alex asked, a little more than worried.
I didn’t care how dumb his question was. I was scared. The doctor looked at me skeptically.
“Say your name and where you’re from.”
I mouthed Rian Dawson, Baltimore Maryland but no sounds at all were coming out of my throat. My eyes started watering and the doctor took out his pager. “We’re probably going to have to take a look at your voice box. As long as you’re fine with that.”
I nodded eagerly and Alex took my hand, squeezing it. The doctor left to go get some of the nurses and Alex leaned over and kissed me.
“You’re going to be fine. Maybe it’s just a side effect from hurting your neck, everything will be okay.” For the next five minutes Alex was saying different versions of “It’s okay, you’re fine” and it was driving me mad because something, deep down, was telling me I’m not.
The doctor came back and I was taken into the ER for them to scope my throat.
><><><><><
I was wheeled back into the room and once again in what felt like minutes (but was really four hours) I woke up.
“Rian?” Alex asked, when I was awake. I nodded.
“Baby they told me I could tell you.” Alex’s face was tear stained and he was stroking my cheek with his thumb.
“Rian the crash punctured your throat, a-and in turn your voice box.”
I stared at Alex with wide eyes.
“Baby you’re mute. You can’t talk.” He bit his lip and I knew he was going to bawl any moment now.
But before he could shed a tear, I started to cry. Tears were rolling down my face. I didn’t even care that I was crying in front of Alex. All I cared about was that the tears were fucking silent.
Author: ittbittyriddle
Rating: NC-17
POV: 1st, Rian.
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Rian Dawson
Summary: After a car accident, Alex and Rian's already troubled relationship takes a turn for the worst. But can they overcome a new physical barrier between them, or will it ruin them?
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea and the writing itself.
Authors Note: Unlike my other fics, I'm going to take this one slow. Not have five things happen in one chapter. I hope you like it(:
Tumblr?
I can’t remember most of it. I remember Alex crying, screaming for me to say something, anything, and turning a little and seeing his head bleeding. I heard the wailing of the ambulance, saw the flashing lights, and saw the blood coming out of my neck and felt it coming up my throat. Soon enough, I blacked out, my hands feeling cold and my body shaking a little. I couldn’t see, but I could feel the bumps in the road as we drove to the hospital. I felt conscious, but at the same time I could not see nor hear. When we reached the hospital, I could see again, I saw flashes of light, the ceiling of the hospital, and then saw the mask put over my nose and mouth that would help me fall asleep before they could operate.
Funny thing was, I wasn’t scared at all. I was just... confused.
><><><><><
After what seemed like only a few minutes I found myself awakening in one of the hospital beds, turning and only seeing white. Everything seemed white. It took about five minutes for my vision to fully regain itself; I had to blink numerous times to even make out anything. When I turned to my left there was another bed, and what do you know, Alex sitting in it. He was propped up, watching television, and must’ve heard me move in the bed. He turned and saw me trying to sit up, and he hit the button for a nurse.
“No, no, baby, stay where you are, don’t move,” he said in the sweetest tone I think he’d ever spoken. “The doctor said you shouldn’t move until he comes in to see you, and don’t talk. You hurt your throat.”
Yeah, I definitely hurt my throat. Obviously. Because I can feel the searing pain when I turn my head again to meet my eyes with Alex. I nod, not wanting to talk anyway. It’d probably hurt.
“I’m sorry,” he said almost right away. “I’m sorry I got angry, and I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, and I’m sorry I called you the names I called you.”
I smiled just a little bit to show him that it was okay, and then I laid my head back down, my neck hurting like crazy. A few minutes later, a nurse came into the room and apologized and then explained that there was a patient next door that had a mix up with her medication and had to deal with that. She came over to me, propped me up, took my blood pressure, temperature, and took a small sample of blood for my blood sugar. There was an IV in my arm for what reason I wasn’t told. When she left me she went over to Alex, and I turned my head a little to see him. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, and he was moving fine, just a little bruised on his legs and arms, and a little cut on his neck.
Seeing Alex’s injuries made me take a look at myself. I looked down at my lap and saw my hands all cut up, and I pulled down the covers to see my legs rather bruised and contused. I shuddered and pulled the covers back up, touching my neck. I winced at the pain and felt a rough gauze bandage that went all the way around my neck. I breathed out heavily and shakily, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. It was most definitely going to be a hard night.
><><><><><
In a few days Alex was discharged, but he stayed with me every day and night. It was about the fifth day when the doctor told me I could take off my bandage and could talk. They didn’t want me moving too much in my throat until they knew it was healed.
“Well,” the doctor said with a smile. “You’re free to talk and tomorrow we can start you on solid foods.”
I opened my mouth and tried to say thank you but nothing came out. My eyes went wide and I tried again, but nothing was coming out but air.
“Is he supposed to not be able to say anything?” Alex asked, a little more than worried.
I didn’t care how dumb his question was. I was scared. The doctor looked at me skeptically.
“Say your name and where you’re from.”
I mouthed Rian Dawson, Baltimore Maryland but no sounds at all were coming out of my throat. My eyes started watering and the doctor took out his pager. “We’re probably going to have to take a look at your voice box. As long as you’re fine with that.”
I nodded eagerly and Alex took my hand, squeezing it. The doctor left to go get some of the nurses and Alex leaned over and kissed me.
“You’re going to be fine. Maybe it’s just a side effect from hurting your neck, everything will be okay.” For the next five minutes Alex was saying different versions of “It’s okay, you’re fine” and it was driving me mad because something, deep down, was telling me I’m not.
The doctor came back and I was taken into the ER for them to scope my throat.
><><><><><
I was wheeled back into the room and once again in what felt like minutes (but was really four hours) I woke up.
“Rian?” Alex asked, when I was awake. I nodded.
“Baby they told me I could tell you.” Alex’s face was tear stained and he was stroking my cheek with his thumb.
“Rian the crash punctured your throat, a-and in turn your voice box.”
I stared at Alex with wide eyes.
“Baby you’re mute. You can’t talk.” He bit his lip and I knew he was going to bawl any moment now.
But before he could shed a tear, I started to cry. Tears were rolling down my face. I didn’t even care that I was crying in front of Alex. All I cared about was that the tears were fucking silent.