This Will be the Last Time Feeling Like This (3/?)
Title: This Will be the Last Time Feeling Like This
Rating: PG-13 overall.
Pairing: Jalex.
Summary: Alex has been keeping something from Jack, and it's getting more and more brutal every day.
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys what so ever. The only thing that is mine is the plot. Title comes from 'The Last Night' by Skillet.
Warning: Self-Harm
Author's Notes: Woooh. (: I didn't like this chapter. hahaha.
It's too...
I don't know.
There was no way that the poor boy could even move. Jack was immobilized.
Cutting?
Was he really that depressed?
He breathed in and out very carefully, trying his hardest not to just go hysterical. Alex had been cutting himself? Really?
It took a few moments for him to get himself together. Shaky hands reached down to the tile to pick up the razor, and there was now a line of blood on the floor. Jack wiped it with some toilet paper, and put the razor back in the cupboard before going back into his room, contemplating.
Questions were flowing through his head. Should he just let it go? Or maybe he should go and talk to Alex about it? He shook his head however and put on a slim fitting Blink-182 shirt, and gray skinny jeans. Maybe if he looked good, Alex would give in. He was always a sucker for Jack's looks, and he definitely was aware of it.
Jack walked down the hallway of the house, and he could swear to god that it was the longest fucking walk he'd even taken in his life. His heart was being felt through his chest and he could hear the beats, in sync with his steps. Fast, loud, and frantic. Jack grabbed the doorknob, his palm sweating, as he turned the knob. Alex was sitting at his desk with a laptop open on one side, and a book on the other. He looked up and turned himself to face Jack, a weird look on his face. Jack closed the door behind them and swallowed, his throat dry and seemingly closing in.
"Is there something you want?" the other asked, almost sweetly, like nothing had happened. Fuck, this was the first time the older of the two had even spoken to him in damn well a week. All that he could do was open his mouth and a small squeak came out, no sound but that. Alex raised a brow and closed his computer.
"Come on, tell me," he frowned.
"I found the razor, Alex."
At the words, Jack wasn't sure whether Alex was horrified or just plain confused. His face was a mix of oh, fuck and what is this guy talking about? But Jack had no idea what to think. His hands shook now, anger almost building.
"Why didn't you tell me what was wrong?"
Alex looked tense. But still, Jack didn't know what was going through his head. "And you think that I cut myself?" he asked, dumbfounded. "I'm not that stupid, Jack. I wouldn't hurt myself intentionally."
"Let me see your wrists," he demanded. Alex raised a brow.
"No. Don't you trust me?" he asked, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt. "You can't see my wrists Jack. You don't have right to just barge in here, a--"
But before he could continue protest, Jack had already come at him and grabbed his wrists. He stared down at him and Alex gave him a bewildered look. They stared at each other for a while before Jack went to pull down the sleeve and Alex ripped it away. And after that, Jack just got... mad.
Jack pulled the boy down onto the ground, the only way he'd get him away from the desk and free to hold down. He wrestled with him a bit, the two sort of fighting, getting on top of one another and screaming in each other's faces.
"You're lying to me!"
"I'm not cutting, Jack!"
"Liar! There was blood on the fucking blade, you're expecting me to believe you?"
"Maybe it was Zack or Rian, I don't know!" He screamed back, pushing Jack onto the bottom, failing at holding him in one spot. "Listen to me! Try trusting me for once!"
"Maybe if you'd just let me see your damn wrists, then I 'd be able to fucking trust you!"
"Shut up!"
Jack stopped on top of him, straddling him to keep him down. "I win. Now let me see."
Alex quieted, and he slid the arms of his hoodie up. His pale skin showed no marks of self injury. He pulled them down and just sort of stared at Jack.
"Do you want to apologize?"
"For what?"
"Questioning me?"
"We wouldn't be like this if you'd have just let me see your wrists back at your desk."
Alex then smirked. "You don't think I wanted us like this?"
And the arguing ended. Jack smiled and leaned in to give him a soft, loving kiss to the older boy. And Alex smiled, which gave Jack a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
"I've missed you," Jack admitted, being the first to talk after a long gaze into each others' eyes. Alex closed his eyes and took a long breath in.
"I'm sorry Jack," he whispered. "I've just needed to get things together." Jack rolled to the side so the boys were on the floor, curled up next to one another. "I want you back."
The words were sort of hard for Jack to grasp. This boy had basically stomped his heart out, and now he wanted him back? He bit his lip and then nodded, and Alex seemed unsure.
"You're not that happy?" he asked, dissapointed.
"No, I'm happy," he reassured. "Just don't break up with me because of that again. Okay? I want you to come to me with your problems, not run away."
"Oh, I'll come alright," he muttered, leaning up now to catch the boy in an intoxicating kiss, and it wasn't long until Alex was undressed from the waist down and the two were wrapped around one another.
------
The next morning, Alex and Jack were on the bed and under the covers, close to one another for their body warmth. Alex's thumb was stroking Jack's cheek, who was still sound asleep. "Jack," he whispered to the boy, who was breathing heavily in his sleep. "Jack, I love you more than anything in the world."
Jack then woke up, not because of what was said, but because of the fact that he had slept so much the day before he was almost wide awake. He kissed Alex lightly, muttering an 'I love you' before getting out of the bed and making his way to the bathroom where he showered and got dressed. He was in a better mood definitely than he had been in a long while, and he wanted to spend the rest of his day with Alex. He was completely loving the idea already.
Alex was getting out of bed too, putting on another hoodie and a pair of skinnies. Jack did the same, and came out of the bathroom, hugging around his waist. "McDonald's for breakfast?" he asked, a sly smile on his face. Alex nodded and kissed his lips quickly before pulling away and grabbing his wallet.
"It's on me."
Jack didn't know it, but the secret that Alex was holding was growing larger and larger.
And not even Jack's love could battle it out.
Rating: PG-13 overall.
Pairing: Jalex.
Summary: Alex has been keeping something from Jack, and it's getting more and more brutal every day.
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys what so ever. The only thing that is mine is the plot. Title comes from 'The Last Night' by Skillet.
Warning: Self-Harm
Author's Notes: Woooh. (: I didn't like this chapter. hahaha.
It's too...
I don't know.
There was no way that the poor boy could even move. Jack was immobilized.
Cutting?
Was he really that depressed?
He breathed in and out very carefully, trying his hardest not to just go hysterical. Alex had been cutting himself? Really?
It took a few moments for him to get himself together. Shaky hands reached down to the tile to pick up the razor, and there was now a line of blood on the floor. Jack wiped it with some toilet paper, and put the razor back in the cupboard before going back into his room, contemplating.
Questions were flowing through his head. Should he just let it go? Or maybe he should go and talk to Alex about it? He shook his head however and put on a slim fitting Blink-182 shirt, and gray skinny jeans. Maybe if he looked good, Alex would give in. He was always a sucker for Jack's looks, and he definitely was aware of it.
Jack walked down the hallway of the house, and he could swear to god that it was the longest fucking walk he'd even taken in his life. His heart was being felt through his chest and he could hear the beats, in sync with his steps. Fast, loud, and frantic. Jack grabbed the doorknob, his palm sweating, as he turned the knob. Alex was sitting at his desk with a laptop open on one side, and a book on the other. He looked up and turned himself to face Jack, a weird look on his face. Jack closed the door behind them and swallowed, his throat dry and seemingly closing in.
"Is there something you want?" the other asked, almost sweetly, like nothing had happened. Fuck, this was the first time the older of the two had even spoken to him in damn well a week. All that he could do was open his mouth and a small squeak came out, no sound but that. Alex raised a brow and closed his computer.
"Come on, tell me," he frowned.
"I found the razor, Alex."
At the words, Jack wasn't sure whether Alex was horrified or just plain confused. His face was a mix of oh, fuck and what is this guy talking about? But Jack had no idea what to think. His hands shook now, anger almost building.
"Why didn't you tell me what was wrong?"
Alex looked tense. But still, Jack didn't know what was going through his head. "And you think that I cut myself?" he asked, dumbfounded. "I'm not that stupid, Jack. I wouldn't hurt myself intentionally."
"Let me see your wrists," he demanded. Alex raised a brow.
"No. Don't you trust me?" he asked, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt. "You can't see my wrists Jack. You don't have right to just barge in here, a--"
But before he could continue protest, Jack had already come at him and grabbed his wrists. He stared down at him and Alex gave him a bewildered look. They stared at each other for a while before Jack went to pull down the sleeve and Alex ripped it away. And after that, Jack just got... mad.
Jack pulled the boy down onto the ground, the only way he'd get him away from the desk and free to hold down. He wrestled with him a bit, the two sort of fighting, getting on top of one another and screaming in each other's faces.
"You're lying to me!"
"I'm not cutting, Jack!"
"Liar! There was blood on the fucking blade, you're expecting me to believe you?"
"Maybe it was Zack or Rian, I don't know!" He screamed back, pushing Jack onto the bottom, failing at holding him in one spot. "Listen to me! Try trusting me for once!"
"Maybe if you'd just let me see your damn wrists, then I 'd be able to fucking trust you!"
"Shut up!"
Jack stopped on top of him, straddling him to keep him down. "I win. Now let me see."
Alex quieted, and he slid the arms of his hoodie up. His pale skin showed no marks of self injury. He pulled them down and just sort of stared at Jack.
"Do you want to apologize?"
"For what?"
"Questioning me?"
"We wouldn't be like this if you'd have just let me see your wrists back at your desk."
Alex then smirked. "You don't think I wanted us like this?"
And the arguing ended. Jack smiled and leaned in to give him a soft, loving kiss to the older boy. And Alex smiled, which gave Jack a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
"I've missed you," Jack admitted, being the first to talk after a long gaze into each others' eyes. Alex closed his eyes and took a long breath in.
"I'm sorry Jack," he whispered. "I've just needed to get things together." Jack rolled to the side so the boys were on the floor, curled up next to one another. "I want you back."
The words were sort of hard for Jack to grasp. This boy had basically stomped his heart out, and now he wanted him back? He bit his lip and then nodded, and Alex seemed unsure.
"You're not that happy?" he asked, dissapointed.
"No, I'm happy," he reassured. "Just don't break up with me because of that again. Okay? I want you to come to me with your problems, not run away."
"Oh, I'll come alright," he muttered, leaning up now to catch the boy in an intoxicating kiss, and it wasn't long until Alex was undressed from the waist down and the two were wrapped around one another.
------
The next morning, Alex and Jack were on the bed and under the covers, close to one another for their body warmth. Alex's thumb was stroking Jack's cheek, who was still sound asleep. "Jack," he whispered to the boy, who was breathing heavily in his sleep. "Jack, I love you more than anything in the world."
Jack then woke up, not because of what was said, but because of the fact that he had slept so much the day before he was almost wide awake. He kissed Alex lightly, muttering an 'I love you' before getting out of the bed and making his way to the bathroom where he showered and got dressed. He was in a better mood definitely than he had been in a long while, and he wanted to spend the rest of his day with Alex. He was completely loving the idea already.
Alex was getting out of bed too, putting on another hoodie and a pair of skinnies. Jack did the same, and came out of the bathroom, hugging around his waist. "McDonald's for breakfast?" he asked, a sly smile on his face. Alex nodded and kissed his lips quickly before pulling away and grabbing his wallet.
"It's on me."
Jack didn't know it, but the secret that Alex was holding was growing larger and larger.
And not even Jack's love could battle it out.