Finding The Light!
Title: Finding The Light
Chapter: Nine - Open Mouth, Insert Both Feet
Pairing: Jake/Bella
Rating: PG-13
Notes: SMeyer ownes the characters, I just borrowed them.
Summary: This story follows somewhat along with canon in the beginning, but then you'll see Bella really find Jake and want to be with him, not for the fulfilment of her Edward illusions, but because she wants to be with him, for him. It is a natural progression of friendship that turns to something much more.
Previous Chapters (One), (Two), (Three), (Four), (Five), (Six), (Seven), and (Eight)
Chapter Nine
Open Mouth, Insert Both Feet
Jake looked nervous now and actually I was starting to get that way too. What if he hadn’t meant to do that? What if he was regretting kissing me already? I looked down at the pillow I had pulled into my lap and I was twisting the fringe around my finger until it turned blue. Then his hand was on mine and he moved closer to me on the bed.
Looking down at his face I began searching his eyes for some sign of regret, but all I saw were the most beautiful dark-brown eyes I’d ever seen. I saw things in his expression that I’ve never noticed before and when he gently took my hand and pulled the fringe from around my finger I knew he had no regrets for what had just happened.
"Bella. I need to know you are okay, with that-with what we just did. Tell me how you feel right now."
I made a sound which was a cross between a nervous laugh and a hiccup I think and suddenly felt very vulnerable and exposed. But he was there and he was warm and he still wanted to be near me so I took a deep breath and got lost in his gaze as softly poke softly trying to tell him how I felt.
"I’m okay. That was amazing. You’re....you’re amazing, Jake. I don’t deserve to have someone like you...."
"Hey. I’ll take the first part of what you were saying, but I’m not going to listen to the negative talk," he said, inching closer to me and giving me that smile.
"Okay. Okay," I said, rolling my eyes. "I’m good Jake, really good, right now. How are you?"
He let go of my hand and reached over to touch my face. I wanted him to hold me so bad right then. I needed to feel his arms around me to let me know everything was going to be okay between us. I couldn’t help feeling like this, after all, the last time I had let myself get too involved with someone that someone left. This was a big step for me. But I kept telling myself that Jake was so different from Edward and he had already proved that to me on more than one occasion.
"I’m glad your okay, because I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time Bella, but no one’s in a rush here. I’m not going anywhere and we can just take this slow. Is that okay with you?"
"Sure. I guess so," I said, as my voice shook.
I didn’t know what he meant. Did this mean we were a thing-together now? Did he just want to kiss me to get it out of his system or what? Why do I always have to complicate things, I screamed at myself in my thoughts?
Jake brushed his hand across my check once more then he looked over at my night stand and nodded his head toward my book on The Quileutes, "you’re still reading that I see," he said, reaching over and picking it up.
He fingered the book for a moment, then opened the pages until he came to the spot I had marked a day or so ago, and began to read, "certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart. You have this spot marked. Have you been reading it a lot?" he asked, smiling at me.
Why did he have put me on the spot? Of course I had been reading it. I felt like it kept him close to me at night and I felt like I was learning more about him. But did I have to confess everything to him right now?
"I like that passage. It’s nice," I said, looking down at the book in his hands.
"That’s nice. That’s very nice to know," he said as he stretched out on his side across my bed letting his eyes settled on mine.
I had to get us moving in a different direction, so I brought up the project, "so what about your project? Do you think you’ll have enough information to get it ready?"
"Yeah. Thanks to you," he said winking at me. "I guess I’ll spend the morning working on it tomorrow and the afternoon working on the car I told you about. That about wraps up my day," he said with a huff, as he flopped over on his back on my bed.
"What’s that about?" I asked, poking him in the ribs with my foot.
"I had hoped I might get to see you again tomorrow, but I guess I’ll have to settle for a phone call tomorrow evening, if that’s okay?" he asked, looking at me with sad eyes.
"I understand. I’m sure I can find something to keep me occupied."
Then he looked concerned as he propped back up on his elbow.
"And what are you going to be doing?"
This was my chance to pay him back for earlier, I thought, so I got up and walked over to my closet. I pulled out a pretty pink dress and held it up in front of me, like I was seeing how it looked in the mirror.
"I might look up that quarterback, Mike Newton, that I told you about. He’s been after me to go out with him," I said, as I teased him looking out from under my lashes.
He sat straight up on my bed, got up and came over to stand in front of me. He took the dress from me and laid it on the rocking chair as he took my hand and pulled me close to him.
"You don’t do it as well as I do, but it still isn’t nice. I promised I wouldn’t do that to you ever again, will you promise me the same?"
"Gotcha," I said laughing softly, but I could tell he was serious.
Just then, we heard Charlie calling from down stairs saying Billy was ready to go. I didn’t want the night to end so soon and if the heavy sigh was any indication, Jake didn’t either.
"Bells, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I hope you won’t forget tonight. It really meant a lot to me," he said, then kissed me on the forehead.
I looked at him tilting my head to the side.
"What?"
"You called me Bells," I said, feeling my cheeks redden.
"I know. I heard Charlie call you that earlier and I like it. I hope you don’t mind?"
"No, I don’t mind. And Jake, about tonight, it meant a lot to me too. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Bells."
We walked down stairs together and Charlie and I told Jake and Billy good night as they left to go home. Billy declared that the next get-to-gather would be at their house and we accepted. Charlie and I talked about the game for a few minutes, then I went upstairs for a shower. I needed time to think about tonight.
The water splashed and warmed my skin. My mind was adrift on the feeling I had when Jake’s lips were on mine. I had actually wanted him to kiss me. I had let myself began to feel again and the thought how my actions scared me to death, but then on the other hand, I didn’t want to let life pass me by and with someone as wonderful as Jacob Black in my life, I just couldn’t-I wouldn’t let that happen.
Jake had made me feel things tonight that I’d never felt before, not even with Edward and I marveled at what made this relationship, because that’s what it was even if it was just a very, very, good friend type of relationship-which it wasn’t, I knew in my heart it was more, so different.
Turning off the shower, I finished getting ready for bed and climbed under the cover-cover that just minutes earlier Jake had been sitting on with me. I ran my hand over the leather binding of my book, and traced over the same spots Jake had touched. I felt silly for a few minutes, but then I decided that it didn’t matter, I liked feeling of what he had just touched.
The next morning, I got up and washed the sheets from mine and Charlie’s beds, sorted laundry, and made a meatloaf for dinner. I knew the rest of the day I would be lonely, so after Charlie left to go fishing, I called Angela to see if she had plans for the afternoon.
She wasn’t doing anything either and suggested that we go to Port Angeles to pick up some new cd’s. I accepted the invitation, considering I was now listening to music again, and made plans to meet her after one o’clock at her house.
Angela and I had a good time in Port Angels. We picked up some new music, went to several stores just window shopping, so to speak, grabbed a soda, and I made it back home in time to get dinner ready for Charlie around five-thirty.
"What you do today kiddo?" he asked, as he washed up at the kitchen sink.
"I finished the laundry this morning and went to Port Angels with Angela Webber this afternoon. We bought some new cd’s. How was your day?"
"Well, not as exciting as yours. We didn’t catch much at all."
I got dinner ready, we ate, and I was just finishing cleaning the kitchen when the phone rang. I had thought about Jake on and off all day, missing him terribly, so I held my breath hoping that it was him on the line.
Letting out a long sigh, I climbed the stairs, phone in hand, after I heard his voice on the other end. He sounded tired and said he had been working on his project and the car all day, but that he was calling it quits for now. He wanted to know about my day, and listened as I told him about my trip.
Jake and I talked for over an hour when we both decided it was getting late. I told him goodbye and we planed to talk again the next day. I got ready for bed, and settled in for the night, again reading my book, before falling asleep.
I drifted into my dream world and was lost in the mist, completely alone. I began to panic and feel like there was no way out, then I saw those eyes. Those dark brown, beautiful eyes. The eyes that had comforted me and made me feel accepted and loved, and as they got closer, I saw the fur and realized that it was the wolf, my lone guardian. He approached, this time closer than ever before, until at last I was brushing my hand over his long russet fur and I fell asleep laying next to him in the forest as he curled up into a ball and shielded me from the night.
The sun was just beginning to come up when I opened my eyes. The first thing I did was smile to myself at the peaceful dream I was remembering, then I pulled myself up and got out of bed, not ready yet, but reluctantly starting my Monday.
I went to school, finished the day, and came home. My homework was first, dinner was second, and a nice long phone call from Jake, was last and most important of the day. We talked again that night for over an hour, before I had to get ready for bed.
The next day was much the same as the day before, and it wasn’t until it was finally Wednesday and school was over for the day that I began to think of a reason to go see Jake. I walked aimlessly to my truck, thinking things over, and fondly remembering last Saturday. I really wanted to see him again, considering we had only been talking on the phone each night, and I knew I needed to see him.
So, I decided it was time for me to have my truck checked out, after all he did say for me to bring it down once a week so he could keep an eye on it for me. The next thing I knew, I was in my truck and turning down my favorite road toward La Push. I thought I could probably see Jake for a few minutes then be back home in time for Charlie to get home for dinner.
When I got to Jake’s house, I pulled around to his garage and stopped when I saw his friends Quil and Embry, peering at me from inside the garage. I killed my truck, climbed out, and slammed the door behind me, feeling like I was intruding on some guy thing, but I didn’t see Jake anywhere, so I decided to make light of the situation.
"Hey guys. I hear this is the home to one of the best mechanics around? Is that true?" I asked with a smile.
They both looked at each other and shook their heads.
"Boy, does he have you buffaloed," Quil said, running his hand through his short dark hair, as he winked at me.
"What did he do, Bella? Tell you he had to do routine maintenance on your truck or something?" Embry said, with a big grin on his face.
"Yeah. Why?" I asked, suddenly feeling worried, "does he tell all the girls that?"
"No. Just the pretty ones," Quil said, as he walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me into the garage.
"Quil," Embry said, in a warning tone as he cleared his throat, but to no avail.
"So where is Jake?" I asked as Quil walked me into the garage and over toward the work bench.
"Oh, he’s around. He’ll be back in a few minutes," Quil said, with a broad self-assured smile on his face.
He and Embry were both quite handsome, but they couldn’t hold a candle to Jake. I bet all the girls knew that, and probably all came here to get their cars and trucks serviced. That wasn’t a picture I wanted to have floating around in my head for some reason and it was really beginning to bother me.
Embry must have noticed my facial expression, and seeing as how he seemed to be more of the sensitive type, he spoke up, "don’t worry Bella. He’s not been doing and any routine maintenance since, you’ve been coming around," he chuckled.
"But this is something he’s done before?" I asked shyly.
They both started laughing and Embry looked me in the eye, "no, I just had a hunch that Jake might tell you something like that," he assured me.
When we reached the work bench we stopped and started talking about Jake, my truck, and various things when I heard a car pull up, and a car door slam. I jumped and started trying to pull away from Quil’s friendly arm, when I tripped and fell backwards, only to be caught in Embry’s tight grasp, just as Jake walked into the garage.
I looked up at him from my upside down viewpoint and noticed that he had a look of, well what looked like jealousy on his face, or at least it looked like that from where I was, almost on the floor with Embry’s arms wrapped around me looking at him upside down.
Embry slowly raised me up to standing position and looked abashed as he lowered his gazed and whispered "sorry."
Before I turned around to face Jake, I looked at Embry who was as red in the face as I was, and I reached out and touched his arm again.
"Embry, are you okay? You are so hot?" I asked feeling somewhat concerned. I’d never felt anyone that hot before in my life.
He inched his arm away from me and looked at Jake, then back at me, " I’m fine Bella," he whispered.
If I hadn’t felt how hot Embry was and seen the look on Jake’s face, it might have been a funny moment, but right now it wasn’t.
"Does anyone care to explain what’s going on here?" Jake asked in a husky voice, as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Hi Jake. I came to have my truck looked at. You wanted me to bring it down every week. Remember?" I reminded him, rocking back and forth on my heels.
"That part I sort of figured out, but why were you doing the Tango dip with Embry here?"
"I was turning around and I fell and Embry somehow caught me," I answered bashfully.
Jake looked from me to both Embry and Quil, who shook their heads yes indicating that it was the honest to goodness truth, then Jake seemed to loosen up and began smiling.
"I can’t leave the three of you alone for a minute can I?" he laughed, as he came over and gave me a big bear hug and whispered in my ear, "I’ve missed you."
When he put me down, he went over and slapped Embry on the shoulder holding his hand there for a few minutes, before looking at him.
"Embry you are warm. Bella was right. Are you feeling okay, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine Jake," Embry said, rather sharply and shrugged himself out from under Jake’s grip, which seemed rather odd for Embry. He always seemed so laid back.
"Well, Embry, now that you have groped Jake’s girl, why don’t we be moseying along?" Quil suggested, and the two of them told Jake and I goodbye, getting out of there before Jake could do bodily harm.
There was an awkward silence in the garage for a few minutes, then I remembered what the guys had said about Jake working on other girl’s vehicles.
"So, Jake. How many girls do you have lined up for regular maintenance?" I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets.
The look on his face was that of panic, horror, confusion, and I don’t know what else, and it wasn’t until he broke out in laughter that I realized how that had sounded coming out of my mouth. First I nearly fall and wind up in the arms of his best friend, then I open my mouth and insert both feet.
"What.....Bella...."
"I...um.....that didn’t......oh I can’t believe it came out like that. It’s all their fault," I said, feeling my face turning violently red from embarrassment as I stormed past him heading back for my truck.
But as I passed by, he caught me, turned me around to face him, and began walking me backwards, stepping closer to me with each step and as he walked his legs were getting farther apart, until I was up against the front of my truck-the heat from its radiator at my back, and the heat from Jake at my front.
"Now where are you going? And what’s all this talk about providing regular maintenance? What did those two tell you?" Jake asked, leaning down so that his soft black hair was brushing against my cheek.
My breathing was ragged. I was mad at myself for the comment I had made and mad at Quil and Embry for starting it, and overwhelmed by being this close to Jake. I had to think of something to say, but I was on the verge of being completely out of it.
"Ja.....ke."
Then his arms were wrapping around me, his legs apart so that he was down much closer to my eye level, and his body pressing against mine as he leaned back against my truck.
"Yours is the only vehicle that will be getting my full, undivided attention to detail, except for my neighbors and most of them are old. That truck and I belong together and I’m going to take such good care of it, just like it...were....my....own," he said, as his breath fanned against my lips on the last four words.
His lips. I couldn’t take my eyes off them, remembering, wanting, wondering. Then, as if he knew what I was thinking, he barely pressed his lips to mine for one fleeting moment, not even long enough for the taste to linger on my mouth, and he pulled away.
Forget the roller coaster sensation I felt the last time, now I felt like I was free falling from an airplane, but not without a parachute, because he was there and he was well aware of what he had just done to me and I thought he was being rather smug with the whole incident. Taking my anger and embarrassment and turning it all around until I was a bundle of nerves in his arms.
He smiled down at me, as he pulled away, but being the parachute that he is, he kept his arm around my shoulder as he joined me leaning his back against the front of my truck, never letting me go-never letting me fall too far.
"I don’t.... Quil, Embry...they..."
"Bells, don’t ever listen to them, only listen to me. Promise?" I shook my head okay, then he continued. "I’m glad you came by today, I’ve been wanting to talk with you, but I wanted it to be in person. My dad and I want you and Charlie to come over for dinner on Saturday night. Dad want’s to see if he can win that five dollars back at a game of cards. He’s never gonna give up," Jake said, shaking his head, "and," he hesitated, "I was wondering if you might like to go to the movies in Port Angeles maybe the following Saturday?"
"You mean like a da....."
"Yep. I mean like a date," he said, then turned back to look at me.
My heart stopped with a strong thud against my chest wall. He was asking me out on a date. First he kisses me, then he sort of kisses me again, and now he’s asking me to go on a date with him. I was at a loss, but I would not miss this opportunity. I would not let something wonderful in my life pass me by.
Jake was becoming more and more a part of who I was and if that meant that our friendship was evolving into something more, then that’s where it should be going, because something that feels this right could not be wrong.
"Jake. I don’t know what to say. I mean, are you sure about this?"
"I am Bells. I hope you’ll...."
"Yes, Jake. I’d love to go to the movies with you," I said, cutting him off in mid sentence.
"Good. Now that we’ve got that settled. Let me take a look at my baby," Jake said, eyeing me up and down as he walked to the driver’s side door, opened it, and popped the hood to the truck.
I still wasn’t able to move. He had rendered me helpless, so instead of moving me, he just reached behind me, brushing his hand all the way across my back, dipped down low reaching under the space of the hood, and popped the latch open. Then he pulled me away with one arm, while he lifted the hood with the other, then leaned me back against the truck.
He then went to his work bench, picked up one of his red rags and walked back over to the truck, leaning down above the motor.
"Mmm, nice."
I finally snapped out of my Jacob Black daze and turned around to look at him. He was smiling as he looked at the motor of my truck.
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking they don’t make them like this any more."
Was he talking about my truck, or talking about me, I wondered? But regardless, he was giving my truck the attention it needed, so I watched in awe of his skilled hands, as he tinkered with different parts, and checked the oil and all the other fluid levels.
"So, what’s the verdict Mr. Black?"
"I think it’s passed its weekly inspection," he said, wiping his hands on the rag.
After that, we somehow ended up sitting in the front seat of my truck. Jake wanted to know what kind of music I had picked up over the weekend. I asked what grade he had made on his project. He made an A+, by the way and attributed it all to my help. I just smiled and thanked him, but I was really remembering that night.
When it was finally time for me to go home, Jake gave me a kiss on the forehead and I hugged him tight before saying goodbye. As I climbed into my truck, Jake closed the door and had me roll down window. He always did like to say one more thing before I could leave.
"Okay then, I guess I’ll see you on Saturday night. And this time you get to spend the evening in my room," he said, giving me a seriously devilish smile.
"I’ll be looking forward to it," I said, and then I cranked my truck and pulled out of his garage.
I was glad I had come today. And I thought about our plans for the next two weekends. That would be three in a row that we would have been together and I couldn’t have been any happier.