[One-Shot] White Heat, Red Hot
Title: White Heat, Red Hot
Pairings: Yoochun-Centric
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Pure 100% Grade A Crack
Summary: Yoochun hates the heat.
A/N: Heat can make you insane...
It's hot.
So hot.
"It's so fucking hot!" Yoochun screams inside the van at the top of his lungs.
"Someone gag him," Jaejoong mutters and continues to sleep.
Why is it so hot?
And why is the room weaving in front of his eyes like it does outside when it's hotter than Hades.
Changmin slumps beside him and it feels like he's leaning against a stove. "Get off," Yoochun shoves him away lifting his hair off his neck and fanning himself.
An indifferent snort comes from beside him, only to ignore him completely and Yoochun swears Changmin's skin is a roasting 120 degrees and any longer he touches it, he's sure his body will combust into a ball of hellfire.
"I told you to get off!" he screeches and slaps blindly clenching his eyes shut. Changmin lets out a loud yelp of pain and Yoochun opens one eye, but doesn't stop fanning, he considers for a moment if there is any possible way to install a mechanical fan to his body that pops out when his body reaches the point of boiling.
"That was my penis," Changmin punches him and there's a brief image of his hand getting stuck in his melting skin.
"Well get your penis away from me," Yoochun barks and turns, using his feet to kick Changmin as far away from him as possible.
The hot seems never ending, sucking the life out of his body, the air from his lungs.
Yoochun doesn't understands how anyone else isn't suffering the way he is.
Junsu is jumping around like the fucking pink Energizer bunny and Yoochun looks around for something to clock him with, just out of spite. He wonders if he hits him in the knee cap will he still keep going and going and going?
"Stand the fuck still! You're making me dizzy!" he screams taking off his shirt to much appreciated whistles.
At least he's still got it.
The best part of falling asleep when feeling like goo and yuck and nastiness is waking up feeling much better.
Unfortunately he can't fall asleep and Jaejoong's looking at him and he's got an odd expression on his face which isn't unusual, except it's making him wonder if he's in fact turned into a puddle of ugly pink flesh and black hair that has an appointment to get colored in a few days.
"What's wrong with him?" he asks, staring.
Just keep staring at the freak puddle.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" he asks again, squinting, as if it'll help.
Yoochun moans unhappily.
"Am I fucking invisible again?" Jaejoong asks with much unneeded and diva-like frustration. "What's wrong with him? Yoochun, what's wrong with you?" he leans in peering into his face, Yoochun shoves him away. He wonders if Jaejoong is aware he's got black heads and they're out of control.
"Go away," he slides to the floor and imagines himself floating in a sea of pistachio ice cream.
"He's hot," Yunho swoops from out of nowhere and hovers over him like a vulture circling pray. He's sweating from all the dancing Yoochun is suppose to be participating in but it's just so damn hot he fears eminent heat stroke and he can't afford to go through that. Too much recovery time for the likes of the company.
"He's hot!" Changmin speaks up from somewhere Yoochun doesn't want to take the time to look for.
"I know," Jaejoong smiles, which is precisely why women and men want to throw their horny bodies at his feet and beg to be punished, "but what's wrong with you?" Jaejoong asks like a top notch skeez and Yoochun opens his eyes.
"I like you," he waves him over, he can swim in his sea of vanilla bean ice cream, he changed it, vanilla bean sounds classier and that's one thing he needs in his life. Class. "You can come sit by me," he opens his eyes and Jaejoong laughs.
"Be careful," Changmin warns from the distance. "He likes to hit the penis."
"The penis?"
Yoochun pats the spot beside him for Jaejoong, "Nope, just yours." When Jaejoong sits down and hands him an ice cold bottle of water, Yoochun kisses him on the mouth and untwists the cap. "Don't touch me," he adds once he's drowned half the bottle down in one glorious gulp.
He doesn't know how he managed to take all his clothes off but the hardwood floor feels amazing on his skin and he sighs in contentment. "Nice," he mumbles and stares at the ceiling.
"Why is he naked?" Junsu pops into view and drops of disgusting Junsu sweat hit him in the eye.
"You son of a bitch," Yoochun mutters but he's kind of in heaven so he won't punch him in the face for being so disgusting. Another bead of sweat hits him, this time on the forehead and Yoochun gags, if one were to fall in his mouth he'll seriously consider taking Junsu out back, naked and all and do something very mean, like pull his hair or maybe rip off his balls.
"Yoochun why are you naked?" Jaejoong is asking inane questions again.
"Because he's hot!" Changmin is answering said inane questions from the far corner Yoochun has banished him too.
"Yes I know!" Jaejoong cries frustrated, "We've already covered this, didn't we already cover this?" he looks around for some support but like most of the time Jaejoong opens his mouth to do anything other than sing, he's ignored, unless of course, he's on his knees.
Yunho looks hungry as he flies into view again and Yoochun wonders how he keeps doing that. "Yoochun, why are you naked?" he asks and eyes him like a hanging block of meat. "You're supposed to be rehearsing."
It's so hot even his ice cream fantasy has melted and now he feels sticky, "It's too fucking hot to move," he answers as he wonders if it would be too bold to remove his underwear, his ass feels like it's suffocating while the rest of his body is in much needed coolness.
"We need to go into the recording studio," Junsu pops into view again, still sweating like a pig and his sweat is glistening readily in the light Yoochun fears he may be attacked by a sudden rainfall of vomit inducing sweat rain, so he moves just a little out of the way.
"If you want me to sing, you find me someplace that isn't so fucking hot," he barks and everyone disappears behind his closed eyelids. If only it were so easy to make them all go away.
"Someone grab his ankles," he hears Yunho's Leader voice rift through the stoic air and soon feels the burning sensation of physical contact on his skin.
He bucks and wiggles for release but when hands clamp around his ankles and he's lifted into the air he cries out.
"What the fuck?" he opens his eyes to find the ceiling moving above him.
"You need to sing asshole and if this is the only way to move your hot ass, so be it," Changmin digs his finger nails into his ankles so hard Yoochun knows it will leave a mark and he thinks Changmin is asking for it later.
"Can we stop talking about how hot Yoochun is? We get it already, he's a sexy bitch ass moutherfucker," Jaejoong whips his head and those insatiable bangs of his whip in that way that gets fangirl's panties wet.
"Would you shut the fuck up? You're missing the point you horny idiot," Changmin snaps and curls his fingers tighter around Yoochun's delicate ankles.
When the door hits him on the side he screams and vows to get his revenge on both Changmin and Yunho the moment he feels better and maybe he'll let Jaejoong give him a nice blowjob for being such a good friend later.
Singing while lying down naked is probably the best thing that has ever happened to his voice. Not one mistake is made and Yoochun's managed to hit every single note perfectly. He thinks for future reference that he'll sing everything, from now on, on his back and people will finally take notice of his vocal talent. He isn't just useful for making sappy songs and a pretty face.
He doesn't know how his clothes have magically appeared back on his body, wrapping him in a suffocating cocoon but he thinks the culprits did it while he was passed out dreaming of swimming through the ocean to the melodic sounds of Jaejoong and Junsu's harmonization. When he's being attacked by a shark he swears it's Changmin executing his revenge and how he managed to infiltrate his dreams he doesn't know, but as he's opening his eyes and looking through a window, sweating against Changmin's shoulder. He smacks at him.
"Ow! What the fuck was that for?" he screams.
Yoochun adjusts himself in a better position and demands they turn up the air, the car is fucking hot, "That's for biting my leg off you sadist," he mumbles and closes his eyes but not before punching his shoulder to soften the spot his precious head will lay back down on.
Changmin scoffs and rests his head against Yoochun's affectionately. "You're so fucking weird," he mutters and Yoochun closes his eyes. "My dick still hurts, you know," he adds after a few seconds.
Yoochun reaches his hand out and pats kindly at Changmin's crotch. "I'll apologize when the heat goes away," he yawns, "now shut the fuck up, I'm tired and hot."
"Yes you are!" Jaejoong adds from somewhere in the car and Yoochun laughs.
"I like you," he says before falling asleep and hopes this time when he wakes up it won't be so fucking hot anymore it's far too exhausting.
[Master Fic List]
Pairings: Yoochun-Centric
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Pure 100% Grade A Crack
Summary: Yoochun hates the heat.
A/N: Heat can make you insane...
It's hot.
So hot.
"It's so fucking hot!" Yoochun screams inside the van at the top of his lungs.
"Someone gag him," Jaejoong mutters and continues to sleep.
Why is it so hot?
And why is the room weaving in front of his eyes like it does outside when it's hotter than Hades.
Changmin slumps beside him and it feels like he's leaning against a stove. "Get off," Yoochun shoves him away lifting his hair off his neck and fanning himself.
An indifferent snort comes from beside him, only to ignore him completely and Yoochun swears Changmin's skin is a roasting 120 degrees and any longer he touches it, he's sure his body will combust into a ball of hellfire.
"I told you to get off!" he screeches and slaps blindly clenching his eyes shut. Changmin lets out a loud yelp of pain and Yoochun opens one eye, but doesn't stop fanning, he considers for a moment if there is any possible way to install a mechanical fan to his body that pops out when his body reaches the point of boiling.
"That was my penis," Changmin punches him and there's a brief image of his hand getting stuck in his melting skin.
"Well get your penis away from me," Yoochun barks and turns, using his feet to kick Changmin as far away from him as possible.
The hot seems never ending, sucking the life out of his body, the air from his lungs.
Yoochun doesn't understands how anyone else isn't suffering the way he is.
Junsu is jumping around like the fucking pink Energizer bunny and Yoochun looks around for something to clock him with, just out of spite. He wonders if he hits him in the knee cap will he still keep going and going and going?
"Stand the fuck still! You're making me dizzy!" he screams taking off his shirt to much appreciated whistles.
At least he's still got it.
The best part of falling asleep when feeling like goo and yuck and nastiness is waking up feeling much better.
Unfortunately he can't fall asleep and Jaejoong's looking at him and he's got an odd expression on his face which isn't unusual, except it's making him wonder if he's in fact turned into a puddle of ugly pink flesh and black hair that has an appointment to get colored in a few days.
"What's wrong with him?" he asks, staring.
Just keep staring at the freak puddle.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" he asks again, squinting, as if it'll help.
Yoochun moans unhappily.
"Am I fucking invisible again?" Jaejoong asks with much unneeded and diva-like frustration. "What's wrong with him? Yoochun, what's wrong with you?" he leans in peering into his face, Yoochun shoves him away. He wonders if Jaejoong is aware he's got black heads and they're out of control.
"Go away," he slides to the floor and imagines himself floating in a sea of pistachio ice cream.
"He's hot," Yunho swoops from out of nowhere and hovers over him like a vulture circling pray. He's sweating from all the dancing Yoochun is suppose to be participating in but it's just so damn hot he fears eminent heat stroke and he can't afford to go through that. Too much recovery time for the likes of the company.
"He's hot!" Changmin speaks up from somewhere Yoochun doesn't want to take the time to look for.
"I know," Jaejoong smiles, which is precisely why women and men want to throw their horny bodies at his feet and beg to be punished, "but what's wrong with you?" Jaejoong asks like a top notch skeez and Yoochun opens his eyes.
"I like you," he waves him over, he can swim in his sea of vanilla bean ice cream, he changed it, vanilla bean sounds classier and that's one thing he needs in his life. Class. "You can come sit by me," he opens his eyes and Jaejoong laughs.
"Be careful," Changmin warns from the distance. "He likes to hit the penis."
"The penis?"
Yoochun pats the spot beside him for Jaejoong, "Nope, just yours." When Jaejoong sits down and hands him an ice cold bottle of water, Yoochun kisses him on the mouth and untwists the cap. "Don't touch me," he adds once he's drowned half the bottle down in one glorious gulp.
He doesn't know how he managed to take all his clothes off but the hardwood floor feels amazing on his skin and he sighs in contentment. "Nice," he mumbles and stares at the ceiling.
"Why is he naked?" Junsu pops into view and drops of disgusting Junsu sweat hit him in the eye.
"You son of a bitch," Yoochun mutters but he's kind of in heaven so he won't punch him in the face for being so disgusting. Another bead of sweat hits him, this time on the forehead and Yoochun gags, if one were to fall in his mouth he'll seriously consider taking Junsu out back, naked and all and do something very mean, like pull his hair or maybe rip off his balls.
"Yoochun why are you naked?" Jaejoong is asking inane questions again.
"Because he's hot!" Changmin is answering said inane questions from the far corner Yoochun has banished him too.
"Yes I know!" Jaejoong cries frustrated, "We've already covered this, didn't we already cover this?" he looks around for some support but like most of the time Jaejoong opens his mouth to do anything other than sing, he's ignored, unless of course, he's on his knees.
Yunho looks hungry as he flies into view again and Yoochun wonders how he keeps doing that. "Yoochun, why are you naked?" he asks and eyes him like a hanging block of meat. "You're supposed to be rehearsing."
It's so hot even his ice cream fantasy has melted and now he feels sticky, "It's too fucking hot to move," he answers as he wonders if it would be too bold to remove his underwear, his ass feels like it's suffocating while the rest of his body is in much needed coolness.
"We need to go into the recording studio," Junsu pops into view again, still sweating like a pig and his sweat is glistening readily in the light Yoochun fears he may be attacked by a sudden rainfall of vomit inducing sweat rain, so he moves just a little out of the way.
"If you want me to sing, you find me someplace that isn't so fucking hot," he barks and everyone disappears behind his closed eyelids. If only it were so easy to make them all go away.
"Someone grab his ankles," he hears Yunho's Leader voice rift through the stoic air and soon feels the burning sensation of physical contact on his skin.
He bucks and wiggles for release but when hands clamp around his ankles and he's lifted into the air he cries out.
"What the fuck?" he opens his eyes to find the ceiling moving above him.
"You need to sing asshole and if this is the only way to move your hot ass, so be it," Changmin digs his finger nails into his ankles so hard Yoochun knows it will leave a mark and he thinks Changmin is asking for it later.
"Can we stop talking about how hot Yoochun is? We get it already, he's a sexy bitch ass moutherfucker," Jaejoong whips his head and those insatiable bangs of his whip in that way that gets fangirl's panties wet.
"Would you shut the fuck up? You're missing the point you horny idiot," Changmin snaps and curls his fingers tighter around Yoochun's delicate ankles.
When the door hits him on the side he screams and vows to get his revenge on both Changmin and Yunho the moment he feels better and maybe he'll let Jaejoong give him a nice blowjob for being such a good friend later.
Singing while lying down naked is probably the best thing that has ever happened to his voice. Not one mistake is made and Yoochun's managed to hit every single note perfectly. He thinks for future reference that he'll sing everything, from now on, on his back and people will finally take notice of his vocal talent. He isn't just useful for making sappy songs and a pretty face.
He doesn't know how his clothes have magically appeared back on his body, wrapping him in a suffocating cocoon but he thinks the culprits did it while he was passed out dreaming of swimming through the ocean to the melodic sounds of Jaejoong and Junsu's harmonization. When he's being attacked by a shark he swears it's Changmin executing his revenge and how he managed to infiltrate his dreams he doesn't know, but as he's opening his eyes and looking through a window, sweating against Changmin's shoulder. He smacks at him.
"Ow! What the fuck was that for?" he screams.
Yoochun adjusts himself in a better position and demands they turn up the air, the car is fucking hot, "That's for biting my leg off you sadist," he mumbles and closes his eyes but not before punching his shoulder to soften the spot his precious head will lay back down on.
Changmin scoffs and rests his head against Yoochun's affectionately. "You're so fucking weird," he mutters and Yoochun closes his eyes. "My dick still hurts, you know," he adds after a few seconds.
Yoochun reaches his hand out and pats kindly at Changmin's crotch. "I'll apologize when the heat goes away," he yawns, "now shut the fuck up, I'm tired and hot."
"Yes you are!" Jaejoong adds from somewhere in the car and Yoochun laughs.
"I like you," he says before falling asleep and hopes this time when he wakes up it won't be so fucking hot anymore it's far too exhausting.
[Master Fic List]