[One-Shot] Surrender
Title: Surrender
Pairing: Yunho-centric, Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Changmin bias, OT5ish.
Genre: Comedy, Romance, Fluff
Rating: R-ish
Summary: Yunho walks in on the unimaginable, when he realizes everyone else is doing it, he can't help but feel left out.
A/N: This is the first Yunho-centric fic I've written. I hope I've done him justice and I hope everyone enjoys it.
All he wanted was to ask Yoochun if he knew where his favorite sweatshirt, which he had last seen on him, was.
What he didn't want nor expected was a visual assault on his eyes, Yoochun pressed against the wall getting a blow job and not from a girl.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Yunho looks away almost instantly and he can feel himself consumed in embarrassment, a violent rush of red that starts at his toes and curls around his ears.
"Fuck, Yunho?" Yoochun opens his eyes and slams his hands down over the head bobbing between his legs which lets out a painful yowl and then a deliberate gasp of horror.
"Ya! Yunho Hyung!"
And Yunho knows, not only is it not a girl on their knees giving Yoochun a blow job but it's one of his own and that sends him stumbling out of the room, tripping on his feet as he hears Yoochun yell.
"Don't you fucking stop!"
Five minutes later when Yoochun walks out fiddling with the button of his jeans and his neck still painted in euphoria, Yunho can't seem to look him in the eye.
"Um, about that," Yoochun's voice is heavy and filled with hesitation and Yunho holds his hand up and uses the other to fiddle with the remote.
"Don't talk to me right now," he tells him through choked embarrassment, eyes forward on the screen, trying hard not to notice the reflection of something tall and young slinking into view with failing stealth.
It doesn't help when the guilty voice of Changmin rings through the air and Yunho shudders.
"Um, Yuhn-"
Yunho stands abruptly and tries to move away from them without looking like a complete asshole. "No. Changmin. Just," he grabs for his keys but they're wedged in between the couch cushions, which means he'll have to turn around, which also means he'll have to look at them, unless he does it all with his eyes closed, but that would be silly. "It's ok," he swallows and makes the move and all he can see are his dongsaengs looking all kinds of shades of guilt. He flushes and grabs his keys. "I'll be back."
And he walks to the door, almost there until it comes flying open and Junsu and Jaejoong rush through, arms filled with shopping bags.
"Where are you going?"
"Oh my god, you need to see these pants!"
It's one large unavoidable wave of commotion that comes with the two and Yunho gets caught up almost instantly entangled in paper bags and questions and Junsu who's squirming away.
"Yoochun, you have your come face!" Junsu screeches and everything freezes because Yunho has never, once in his life, heard those words uttered from Junsu.
Junsu who laughs at the little things that make no sense and appears to be far more innocent than he's apparently letting on.
His eyes gravitate to a very guilty couple that encompasses Yoochun and Changmin and it doesn't get any better when Changmin wipes his mouth with a shit eating grin. Yoochun on the other hands tries to look quite horrified but there's a familiar gratification in his eyes that Yunho finds undeniable.
"Yeah well, Yunho walked in on us," Changmin said easily and Yunho thinks he may have a heart attack.
It leaves his mouth so innocently.
Jaejoong who doesn't at all look bothered by it turns to him with his eagle eyes and roots him to the spot he wishes would open up and swallow him whole. "Oh," he says and Yunho tries desperately to untangle himself because all he wants to do is head for the door and get away from this awfully uncomfortable situation.
"Yunho Hyung," Junsu says slowly but Yunho shakes his head grasping at his keys until he's sure there will be an imprint in the morning.
"I'm going out," he announces and Jaejoong takes a step closer to him.
"Yunho," his voice is like silk and appeasing.
He shakes his head and avoids them all. "Out," he says firmly and makes his way around the both of them. "Um. I'm going now," he manages to say and opens the door without anyone trying to stop him.
"It's not like-"
"Be quiet!" he yells, though not angry, he isn't angry, just mortified. "I'm leaving now," he tells them and finally manages to walk out into the open hallway that leaves what he just saw in the house in the past and takes a very long breath of air.
Jaejoong unfortunately, like a leech, follows him out and doesn't say anything until they're in the car and Yunho has managed to forget exactly what he is supposed to be doing.
All he can see are images of Yoochun and Changmin.
His fingers tighten around the steering until the soft touch of a hand breaks him away.
"Don't be angry," Jaejoong's using his comforting voice, the one that makes everything better.
But Yunho thinks he may be traumatized. "I'm not angry," he says slowly and pulls his hands away.
Jaejoong nods but doesn't say anything else.
He thinks the silence is deafening but he's lost function of his hands and probably his brain. He doesn't remember the last time he got a blow job and Yunho thinks that's a little more unnerving considering the situation.
They sit together and surprisingly it's not uncomfortable, the way it probably should be. He just witnessed something quiet unexpected and he doesn't know how exactly to react to it, though he thinks it could be far worse.
Like he could be disgusted.
But he's not and that is somewhat comforting, otherwise it would make things far more intolerable.
Yunho doesn't know how long they've been sitting in the car but eventually he sees his door open and he can't remember when Jaejoong stepped out.
"Come on," Jaejoong reaches for him and Yunho curls his fingers around the expectant hand and holds it, warm and soft to the touch, motherly in all forms of masculinity that he's become quite accustomed too. "Yoochun's probably crying, thinking that you hate him," he says with a tiny smile that looks genuine.
Yunho steps out and slides his keys into his pocket. "I don't hate him," he says honestly because he loves Yoochun. And he loves Changmin and even that foul mouthed Junsu who he'll have to keep a closer eye on from now on.
A couple day pass and everything seems to be back to normal. Changmin is raging war on Junsu for accidently erasing a good 75% of his music from his MP3 player, again.
He catches Changmin sitting on the couch looking grumpy and harassed when he takes a seat.
"How long," he asks him clearly and Changmin doesn't look over.
He's too busy seeing which songs were salvaged. "How long what?" he says distracted, finger tapping at the buttons.
Yunho rubs the clammy moisture from his hands on his jeans, because he's nervous and he hasn't actually forgotten what happened not too long ago. In fact he's been dreaming about it and has woken up to sticky sheets and an unsound mind.
"How long have you and Yoochun been-"
"Fuck!" Changmin's booming voice rattles the windows and he jumps to his feet as gracefully as an angry feline. "I'm going to kill him!" he threatens and Yunho thinks he hears the faint squeal of Junsu somewhere in the apartment.
"Changmin," he tries to refocus him but the maknae is already charging through the hall beating at the walls while he wails horrible retributions.
Somewhere in the back he can hear Changmin screaming and the resonating sound of something being thrown across the room, followed by a loud wail of despair.
Yunho hears the door open and Yoochun walks through with a smile on his face that drops almost instantly.
He's seemed to be completely petrified of Yunho since the fateful day and Yunho doesn't know why.
"Hyung," he says deeply and Yunho's about to ask him instead because Yoochun always manages to confess to everything with so much as a wayward glance, that is until Junsu screams and it takes both of their attention away.
"What the hell is that?" Jaejoong sails in with dark glasses and tight clothes and Yunho thinks his breath catches in his throat for a moment.
They all get quiet and hear Changmin berating in his superior tone that makes most of them forget he's the youngest and should probably remember his place.
Jaejoong scoffs and pushes Yoochun. "Go take care of that," he tells him which makes Yoochun nod and look like he's relieved he doesn't have to face the lion that is their leader.
Yunho watches him scurry away and it leaves them alone again, which he's notices, has become quite often.
Though he doesn't mind.
"Do you want some tea? I want some tea," Jaejoong makes his way briskly through the living room and into the kitchen like he's gliding.
Yunho can hear Yoochun yelling at Changmin to calm down and he turns from it, "only if you're going to make yourself some," he answers and looks at the blank television screen.
Through the reflection he can make out Jaejoong fiddling around in the kitchen and he finds comfort that certain things have not changed, like Jaejoong, who doesn't avoid him and continues to behave exactly as if nothing happened.
After a few minutes when the noise in the back has calmed and Yunho finds himself wondering what has silenced them, Jaejoong walks into the living room with two cups of steaming tea.
He smiles as he hands Yunho one and then takes a seat beside him, covering his own porcelain mug with both hands.
Yunho watches as his lips purse together and he blows the steam from the edges. Innocently enough Jaejoong grins when he catches him staring.
"It bothers you," he speaks softly taking a cautious drink and Yunho shakes his head.
"No. No it's not that. I'm just. I'm just. Curious," he says honestly. He watches the way Jaejoong's Adam's apple bobs with each careful sip and his lips look full and heavy around the stark contrast of the mug. He turns away the moment Jaejoong's eyes meet his and Yunho's very aware that he's blushing.
"What are you curious about?" he asks him crossing his legs and resting back comfortably against the cushions of the couch. He looks at ease and perhaps Yunho has been going about it the wrong way. It appears Jaejoong could be a bundle of information he's been unable to get from the others.
Before speaking he takes a soothing drink and lets it settle in his stomach before proceeding. "Um," he licks his lips and can taste the subtle hint of lavender. "So… are Yoochun and Changmin like?" he lets the rest hang in the air.
Jaejoong laughs and rustles a bit beside him. "No," he answers with a smile. "It's not like that," he takes another drink and smacks his lips. "Is that what you're worried about?"
Yunho shakes his head quickly and rests his cup on his thigh, "I'm not worried," he insists and curls his fingers around the cool handle. "Even if they were, I mean," he shrugs and blinks for a moment, "I don't care about that."
"Good," Jaejoong's smile is still painted like art across his rose lips and he stands up, empty mug dangling from his curled index finger, "but they're not, just so you know," he reaches for Yunho's cup, which is still mostly full, "You didn't like it?" he asks with a laugh and Yunho watches him walk back into the kitchen.
"So then why?" he calls out, turning around. He brings a leg up to the cushion and bends his knee.
"Why what?" Jaejoong asks as he opens the refrigerator and buries half his body in.
Yunho waits until he's out before speaking again to avoid repeating himself. "Why did this start? I mean, how did it happen?"
Jaejoong laughs and under different circumstances it would sound condescending but there's a difference in the chime, patience and understanding. "Come on Yunho, we can't date. If we're out with a girl everyone takes pictures," he tells him what he already knows, "they get leaked onto the internet and fuck, we're dead. Fans want to kill themselves, want to kill the girl, everything blows up and well-" he twists his lips as he uncovers leftovers from last night's dinner, "we had to improvise," he shrugs and gives him an audacious wink that leaves Yunho feeling flushed. "You want some of this?" he asks suddenly, quite normally.
Yunho shakes his head flabbergasted. "How can you think of food right now?" he demands and turns back around on the couch, staring at the television again.
Jaejoong's behaving so nonchalant about it it's making him feel like he's the one overreacting.
And he's trying not to.
He hears Jaejoong mucking around for a few minutes before the sizzle of food absorbs the silence. "Hey," Jaejoong speaks up again, "Yunho, it's not a big deal ok," he's walking back into the living room, "there's nothing romantic about it. We trust each other and you know, it's nice every once in a while to get off."
At that Yunho gets to his feet and shakes his head, a ball of nerves. Jaejoong grabs his arm and holds him in place, his face gentle and his eyes are soft.
"It's not a big deal," he repeats with emphasis. "It's fun," his mouth curves up and Yunho pulls away.
He glares at him for a moment. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" he questions and soon he's being pulled into the kitchen, pushed onto a chair and watches Jaejoong tend to the food.
"We thought you knew," he answers and grabs for some salt.
Yunho frowns and feels wounded. He didn't know. He had no fucking idea this was happening.
"Apparently you are as unperceptive as everyone thinks you are," he laughs and this time it does sound a little condescending.
Yunho glares at the table top. "How long has this been happening?" he speaks slowly and looks up as Jaejoong starts sliding food onto a plate. He watches him turn the stove off.
"Um," he's visibly thinking, even as he sets the plate of food down in front of Yunho with a napkin. "I think sometime in Japan," he nods and takes a seat. "Eat."
It's hard to gauge how long an answer of Japan could be, they've spent almost half of their career in Japan, which leaves an awful wide time table. "When in Japan?" he doesn't touch the food and looks intently at Jaejoong who reaches over after a couple of seconds and grabs the chopsticks.
"Five in the Black maybe?" he shrugs and takes a bite.
Before Yunho has a chance to scream, because fuck, that was years ago and something like this has been happening under his nose for years, Changmin comes plowing through.
"I smell food," he calls out and Yunho looks past him to see Junsu giving Yoochun a piggy back ride.
"I want some," Junsu says and tosses Yoochun off as he grabs a chair.
Yunho watches in mild dismay as the plate in front of him is pulled away and Changmin plucks the chop sticks from Jaejoong's mouth.
"Excuse me," he turns to him but Changmin's eating and can't seem to be bothered, "I was using those," he adds standing up.
Junsu snorts, "He's had your dick in his mouth; you think he's worried about used chopsticks?"
Changmin, Yoochun and Jaejoong all laugh as if it's the funniest thing in the entire world. And somehow Yunho thinks he can't breathe properly.
"Junsu, shut the fuck up," Yoochun punches him as he walks to get some water.
"Well it seems Changmin didn't beat the shit out of you?" Jaejoong crosses his arms as he leans against the counter and talks as if their previous conversation never existed. Junsu smiles cheerily and runs a hand along Changmin's neck, who elbows him.
"He wouldn't do something so mean like that," he chirps and tries bravely to get at some of the food, only to be denied. "Besides," he shrugs, "I told him I'd give him a hand job tonight, so we're cool," he grins.
Junsu has lost all his innocence, Yunho can see it slipping away from him like his soul drifting from his body.
How the hell could he have possibly not known any of this?
"Junsu!" Yoochun yells and everyone looks at him.
"What?"
All eyes turn to Yunho whose blushing and he hates it. Junsu's eyes widen for a moment.
"Oh, shit. Sorry, Hyung."
Yunho stands up from the table and Jaejoong's on him super fast. "Yunho, sit down," he tells him but what he really wants to do is leave so he has time to digest it all and possibly shake the image of his friends doing dirty things out of his mind.
"No, I'm tired," he says and smiles, hoping it's not as uncomfortable as it feels. "I'm going to rest." He tears away from Jaejoong and weaves through the rest of them. On his way out he hears Yoochun scolding Junsu.
"Jeez, maybe someone should give him a blow job," Junsu mutters and Yunho thinks he doesn't even know who this Junsu is, but the rest of them who are laughing, apparently seem too.
He can't sleep. No matter how much he tries.
Yunho rolls onto his side and buries his cheek in his pillow. He can hear everyone laughing in the living room, probably recanting stories of stolen blows job between video takes and secret hand jobs in dark corners.
He's sore, sore that this was going on and probably more bruised that no one told him about it.
He thinks it hurts his ego more than anything. It's not like he hasn't thought about how great it would be to alleviate the building tension. It's not like he doesn't do those kinds of things. It's not like he would say no.
But he really wonders if he would say yes and maybe that's why he's been singled out, maybe he wouldn't say yes.
Yunho wonders if that makes him a prude or maybe it makes the rest of them dirty little sluts.
Somehow, he doesn't know.
Changmin corners him in the bathroom at night when everyone else is sleeping.
"Hyung," he closes the door and locks it behind him.
Yunho freezes and lets the water rush from the sink as he watches him walk closer and stands right beside him.
"What are you doing?" he asks slowly and turns the water off. Changmin rests against the counter in rumpled sleep clothes.
"I can tell you’re a little messed up about all this," he crosses his arms over his chest and takes a deep breath. "You really shouldn't be," he adds and reaches over for the towel. He pulls it free and hands it to him.
Yunho takes it gratefully and dries his face. "How could you keep it a secret this long?" he asks and takes a step back, tossing the towel on the counter. He watches silently as Changmin folds it in half.
"It wasn't really a secret," he says with a shrug of his broad shoulders, "and you know, it doesn't happen all the time. Like every night."
That's a little comforting. Yunho looks at his friend. "You like it?"
Changmin laughs handsomely even in the middle of the night when he's got sleep in his eyes and a wrinkled shirt. "What's not to like? Yeah, I like it a lot."
"And it's not weird?" Yunho crosses his arms.
He shrugs again, "You get over it after awhile. I mean the first time, yeah it kinda was cause it's like, oh my god, Yoochun is sucking me off right now and he's a guy but you know what's going to happen in the end so you kind of just squeeze your eyes shut, think of boobs and enjoy it," he laughs.
Yunho smiles and scratches his head. "It's that easy?"
Changmin nods and pulls away from the counter. "Yunho, it's like Big Brother in this fucking company. We can't just pick up someone, have a good fuck, say thanks and walk away. We figured out a way to you know, do that stuff and not get caught."
And it sounds just as reasonable as Jaejoong's response. Which leaves him feeling left out.
He shuffles on his feet. "Well. Why didn't you guys, you know, ask me?"
Changmin's eyes twinkle and he clasps a hand over his shoulder, "You're big bad Yunho, Leader extraordinaire," he chuckles, "We thought you might punch us."
Yunho laughs and it makes him feel a little better. Just a little.
Changmin moves towards the toilet and Yunho turns away. "Really though," he pulls himself out without regard and it's not like they've ever been shy around each other, "we figured you weren't interested because of your faith and all. I mean, you never asked."
He starts peeing and Yunho frowns because he hadn't really considered that and then he thinks of Junsu who's probably the most faithful of them all.
"But Junsu?"
"Junsu," Changmin finishes and flushes the toilet with a laugh, "that fucker likes coming a whole lot better than praying," he says and washes his hands. "In fact," he grabs for the towel, "I don't think I've ever seen Junsu on his knees praying." He winks and Yunho's all flushed and bothered again.
He unlocks the door and Changmin turns off the light.
Before they head off in their own direction, Changmin grabs his wrist. "Talk to Yoochun," he asks him, "he's kind of fucked up ever since you caught us," he says and there's a sincere softness to his voice that's beautifully caring. "He doesn't want you to be mad at him."
Yunho thinks of Yoochun who he's always had a soft spot for and feels bad. "Ok," he promises and he feels Changmin's fingers slide away.
"And if you ever get the chance," Changmin speaks quietly, "his tongue is fucking amazing," he grins cheekily and laughs when Yunho's mouth falls open.
Yunho has a dream he's pressed against a wall and hands are touching them; hands that caress his shoulders and smooth across his chest; fingers that weave through his hair and brush against his mouth. Palms that glide inside his thighs and skirt along his stomach.
His eyes open and between the space of his legs he sees something or rather, someone, crawling out and it's only a moment before Jaejoong's kneeling between his legs, molesting hands replaced with strong, warm fingers that curl around the swell of his thighs. His eyes are unnaturally black and glittering.
Yunho feels his breath catch and the hands curls around his clothing. "Jaejoong," he breathes heatedly and Jaejoong smiles slowly, enticingly and seductive.
His fingers scrawl to the button of his jeans. "All you have to do is ask," he says deeply and snaps them open.
And Yunho wakes up.
He's sweaty and the air around the room feels warm.
Sun is slicing through the blinds and he's out of breath, chest heaving up and down in quick staccato movements.
His eyes swing to the bed beside him and Changmin is sleeping soundly and he's alone.
Yunho runs a hand through his hair and tries to catch his breath, he looks at himself and he can see small beads of sweat collecting along his naked chest and between his legs he's firm and properly aroused.
"Oh fuck," he mutters and falls back to the bed.
As promised Yunho finds time to talk to Yoochun. They have a ten minute break from rehearsal at the dance studio and Changmin and Junsu are fighting in the corner over the only Nintendo DS in the entire building. Jaejoong is talking on his cell phone, passing inquisitive glances in his direction every couple of minutes and Yunho ignores them as he leaves and searches for Yoochun.
He finds him in the hallway taking long drinks from a bottle of water. The moment their eyes meet Yoochun chokes and spits out what's in his mouth. Yunho smiles nicely and uses the white towel to wipe at his neck.
"Yoochun, we should talk," he says calmly and Yoochun nods.
When they don't actually say anything Yoochun begins to look uncomfortable which doesn't settle well with Yunho's stomach.
"You have nothing to worry about," Yunho speaks first and Yoochun's face breaks into a smile of complete relief. "I don't care what you do with the others," he adds and Yoochun walks to him with open arms.
Yunho thinks he's hopeless and hugs him anyway.
They break apart after a few moments and Yoochun stands beside him as they lean against the wall. "You can ask me anything you want, you know," he tells Yunho seriously. "And we didn't mean to keep it from you."
Yunho nods in understanding. Everyone he's talked to has told him the same thing and he finds it difficult to hold it against them. "Yeah well, what a way to find out," he smiles and Yoochun flushes handsomely, even with streaks of sweat on his t-shirt and damp hair.
"Sorry about that," he bumps his shoulder perfectly rosy. "We thought you went out with Junsu and Jaejoong," he explains and takes another drink, he hands the bottle over to Yunho when he's finished and watches him. "It's mostly about relieving the tension," he adds quite seriously and bites at his lip. "We're not really serious or anything, just you know, sometimes you need it."
It makes sense, just as it did when Jaejoong talked about it and again when Changmin said pretty much the same thing with different words.
His dream comes back to him and Yunho takes a deep breath, he could use some help with his own tension.
"You know," Yoochun starts talking after a few moments. He's looking at him intently. "If you want, one of us wouldn't mind, I mean," he grins devilishly and winks in that grease ball way of his. "It's not like you don't come up in conversation," he smiles and Yunho thinks he's probably as red as the walls they're leaning against.
"Is this a proposition?" he asks looking at the floor, smiling despite himself.
He can hear Yoochun chuckle, deeply that makes him shudder. "You don't have to," he reaches for him and Yunho tenses instinctively. "There's no pressure," he adds if only to pacify him.
Yunho nods and looks up just as Jaejoong pops his head out from the rehearsal room and meets his eyes. Yunho shudders again and closes his eyes. "I'll have to think about it," he answers and finds Yoochun's eyes bouncing between him and Jaejoong.
"Time's almost up," Jaejoong calls out down the hall and Yunho nods avoiding his eyes, which he feels are still on him. He burns from Yoochun's stare even after Jaejoong disappears back into the room.
"He's surprisingly gentle," Yoochun says.
Yunho breathes in and out of his mouth. "Jaejoong?" he looks up and Yoochun smiles in a way that makes Yunho feel like he knows his secrets.
Jaejoong is sitting on the couch while the others are stumbling over each other to get to the shower. Yunho closes the door and finds him picking at his nails. On his way to the hall he hears Jaejoong clear his throat.
"You've been avoiding me today," he says and looks up, turning his head in Yunho's direction. He doesn't look angry or annoyed; in fact he's quite serene as he sits there calmly.
Yunho remembers his eyes and the desire he saw in them in the dream. They look the same but less alluring, though Jaejoong never really stops being alluring even after hours of dance rehearsal.
"I'm sorry," Yunho walks hesitantly towards the couch.
Jaejoong accepts it with a nod. "I saw you talking to Yoochun," he stands up gracefully and Yunho can't take his eyes off him, or the way his pants hang loosely from his hips. "Everything ok?" He moves in close, so close he can smell the dried sweat against his neck and the remnants of his cologne.
Yunho licks his lips. He doesn't know how he musters the courage to say it, or what he's even thinking when it falls from his mouth, but it does and he can't take it back. "Yoochun says you're gentle."
The sparkle from the dream glitters in Jaejoong's dark eyes instantly as he moves even closer until his mouth is close enough where his breath brushes against his ear in smooth strokes. "All you have to do is ask, Yunho," he touches his hip momentarily and moves away almost as fast.
Yunho's fingers clutch as the back of the couch while Jaejoong disappears into the hallway and leaves him alone. He looks down and finds exactly what he hoped he wouldn't.
Fucking dream, he scolds himself and crosses his hands over his provoked crotch and makes his way towards his room. Inside Changmin is grabbing clothes for his shower. It seems Junsu beat them both.
He sees it the moment he walks through.
"Want some help with that?" he asks with a playful smile.
Yunho wants to faint as he rushes to his bed and grabs a pillow to cover himself. "Changmin," he warns but Changmin's already walking out.
"Calm down, take care of it in the shower if you're still being a pussy about it," he winks and walks out. "Hey! Yoochun, get your ass in the shower!" Yunho hears him yell before the door closes.
Yunho moves the pillow away and his problem hasn't gone down. It's humiliating and he has Jaejoong to thank for it, but thinking of Jaejoong again makes him remember his dream and the problem worsens. He tries to think of terrible things like dead dogs hoping his erection will fall, until he hears Jaejoong laughing and he knows he's got bigger problems now.
By the time it's his turn to take a shower the water's almost cold, which seems fitting. He takes care of himself under the spray once it starts warming up and makes quick work of it, slumping against the wall as he releases and his bones feel like jelly.
In the mirror, dripping wet he looks at his reflection and steadies himself against the counter.
He looks pretty pathetic.
He wants it.
"Fuck," he mutters and brushes the hair from his eyes, throwing his towel around his neck. "Fuck."
He gives himself one last glance and walks out.
In the bedroom he finds Yoochun lying on Changmin's bed and Changmin's sitting on top of him.
"Give me a break guys," Yunho groans and both of them turn their heads and laugh. Yoochun falls back to the bed with a sigh.
"My back hurts," he says, "It's just a massage, don't worry."
"You can be next if you'd like," Changmin says as his hands smooth down Yoochun's back. "But I charge a fee," he adds with a smirk.
Yunho scoffs and tosses the towel over a chair and walks to his bed. He watches quietly as Changmin works his knuckles along Yoochun's spine and soft moans escape his mouth until Changmin hits a mean spot.
"Ow, you fucker!" he yelps and jerks wildly.
"Sorry!"
Yunho laughs and settles himself against the wall.
"So are you just going to sit there and be quiet?" Changmin turns his head and looks at him, fingers still working effortlessly. Yunho clears his throat.
He figures if he's really interested in trying this thing out, he should at least talk to someone about it. He can't really talk to Jaejoong seeing as he's currently the main focus of his wily hormones and probably couldn't trust his body not to do anything stupid, like pop a boner at a mere sideways glance.
"So, um, how would," he starts hesitantly and they both look at him, "uh. Say I wanted to try to. You know. I mean, how would I-" his fail makes him completely embarrassed. He wonders where his balls have gone and why he's so nervous.
Thankfully they don't seem to want to take advantage of the situation.
"I mean, who did it first? Like, how did it happen?" he finally manages to connect his words into a somewhat coherent sentence.
Yoochun talks first, "Changmin was drunk and horny. He practically raped my mouth," Yoochun answers and wails again when Changmin hurts him on his side.
"Do you think it's wise to say shit like that while I'm up here?" he asks with a bite. Yoochun snickers and rolls his eyes. "Shut up," he tells him and Yoochun nods closing his eyes to enjoy his massage. "We talked about it first," Changmin answers seriously. "It's not a big deal anymore, but it kind of was in the beginning. I had to make sure Yoochun wouldn't freak out. Alcohol helped."
Yunho tucks his legs under the blankets and nods. "So you were ok with it, Yoochun?"
Yoochun makes a noise and Changmin gives him a nudge, "don't fall asleep, jerk, he's talking to you."
"Huh?" he opens his eyes, "oh, um, I was feeling pretty vulnerable, you know, not getting laid, being horny, it wears on you. Alcohol was definitely a key in the deciding factor."
"So you guys were drunk all the time?" Yunho asks curiously, he's not much a drinker and by the way his body is acting, apparently he doesn't need to be.
"Well not all the time. Junsu was never drunk and he didn't care as long as he got what he needed, eventually we didn't care either."
He wonders about Jaejoong, who drinks probably more than anyone. "And Jaejoong?"
Changmin scoffs and massages Yoochun's neck slowly. "Jaejoong is completely hedonistic, drunk, sober, he does anything."
Yoochun rolls away and sighs. "Ok, that's good enough; I want to stay awake for this conversation."
"Say thank you," Changmin tells him and takes a seat at the edge of the bed. Yunho watches Yoochun smile and crawl over giving him a kiss on the mouth.
"You're amazing, thank you," he mouths and pulls away.
And it's suddenly become a little more complicated. No one ever said anything about kissing.
"You. You guys kiss?" Yunho sputters surprised.
The both of them look at each other then at Yunho. "Changmin likes to kiss," Yoochun scurries away as a fist blasts out to punch him.
"Would you stop blurting things out like that, you idiot?" he screeches, he turns to Yunho who must look horrified even though he can't really feel it but he can tell from the mollifying look in Changmin's eyes he must. "Not all of us do," he says first. "I like to, when I'm with someone, I think it's only proper to kiss them, unless they mind."
Yoochun nods in agreement. "He's got manners," he smiles and bounces away when Changmin tries to attack. "What!? There's nothing wrong with that!" he exclaims excitedly.
"Who minds?" Yunho then asks with a twisted stomach.
"Junsu does," Yoochun chimes in. "He thinks kissing will make it more emotional. He's got the whole prison state of mind when it comes to this."
"Prison state of mind? What the fuck is that and why are things getting more complicated? You guys said it was no big deal," Yunho tightens his arms around the pillow.
"Calm down," Changmin answers and looks at Yoochun for a moment. He takes a deep breath, "In prison straight guys have sex-"
"Wait." Now he thinks he will faint. "You guys have sex?"
He doesn't know if it's divine intervention or just good luck but the door opens and Junsu and Jaejoong walk in. "What are you guys talking about in here?" Jaejoong asks and closes the door. He seems to ignore the other two and focuses solely on Yunho, which makes him believe instead, Satan is working against him.
"Prison sex," Changmin answers, always one to exploit the situation when given the opportunity.
"Nice," Junsu laughs and flops himself in the gap between Changmin and Yoochun, "Prison sex is always a good neutral topic."
Yoochun leans over Junsu's back and crosses his ankles in front of him. "Yunho wants to know if we have sex."
"No."
"Yes."
"Sometimes."
All the answers come at once and Yunho's head bounces with each voice until he's confused. This is crazy. "One at a time," he begs and the four of them in question laugh.
Junsu shoves Yoochun off him and gets to his knees, sitting back. "Hand jobs are good, blow jobs are better but no one is going near my ass," he explains easily.
Yoochun takes his turn. "I enjoy everything most of the time, but I really need to be in bad shape to have sex, it hurts and when you don't do it often, it hurts every time."
"Until you come," Changmin adds with a devilish smile.
And Yoochun nods with a laugh. "Right."
"I only give," Changmin chimes in.
"Unless you're super horny," Yoochun adds with his own smile and sparkle.
And Changmin nods. "Right."
Yunho tries to digest it all and at the same time not feel weird. Sex is major; guy sex is even more major. His eyes and everyone else go to Jaejoong who's fresh and clean and looks great in his whiskered jeans and v-neck tee shirt.
He stares back at them. "What?"
Yoochun covers his laugh, Junsu's mouth breaks in a smile and Changmin rolls his eyes. "Don't try and be innocent, you're the worst one, Hyung. You're kind of a slut."
Jaejoong's got the decency to look offended though like most of the time, it's clear he's not. "Sex is good," he finally admits and walks over to Yunho's bed. Yunho pulls his legs up and thinks everyone is watching the both of them. Jaejoong takes a seat somewhere in the middle. "Is that wrong?"
"No," is the unified answer and Yunho stares at him. Jaejoong knows it because he turns his head and they meet eyes for longer than a second and soon everything's quiet and even sooner it becomes a little uncomfortable. Luckily for him Yoochun breaks the silence.
"He's also curious about the kissing," he says suddenly and the gaze breaks and Yunho turns to the three on the bed now somehow unnaturally tangled together with twisted legs and awkward arms.
"What about the kissing?" Jaejoong asks curiously. "Who kisses?"
And it gives Yunho the impression, Jaejoong isn't one of them who does. Somehow, it makes him a little happy. Not that he wants to kiss him.
At least he's trying to tell himself that. But it's also not like he's never considered it, which he's tried to avoid thinking about until now because now any question, feeling, curiosity he may have had in the past, seems like it's coming back and he's not feeling so ashamed of it.
Fuck.
"I kiss Changmin every once in a while," Yoochun admits and Junsu's mouth opens.
"Really?" he then turns to Changmin who rolls his eyes again. "Are you guys secretly dating?" he asks.
Everyone seems to want to hear the answer to this.
"No."
"Yes."
"Why are you lying?"
"Ow! Stop denying our awesome cosmic chemistry!"
"Yoochun, ow! Don't pull my hair!"
"Let me out!"
Jaejoong's laughing and Yunho's shaking his head because they are utterly hopeless and completely ridiculous, it's good to know some things never change.
Junsu manages to wiggle free from the human pretzel and Jaejoong makes room for him on the bed. Yunho takes the opportunity to stretch his legs.
Changmin has Yoochun in a complicated wrestling move with his arm around his neck and his legs bent painfully.
"Tell them we're not dating," he threatens with a tighter clench of his arm.
Yoochun's laugh is cut off by a choke. "Why are you ashamed of it?" he scratches and finally manages to bite Changmin's arm which releases him and he breathes.
Changmin punches him in the back and Yoochun groans. "We're not together," he finalizes and Yoochun cackles.
Now that everything's settled down and Yoochun's breathing properly again Jaejoong clears his throat. "Are there any more questions?" he turns to Yunho and Yunho thinks.
"Why don't you kiss them?" he asks and Jaejoong smiles beautifully.
"Because it's not serious," he answers plainly and then looks at the rest of them. "No offense."
They shake their heads. "None taken." They say together.
Somehow, it's very sweet and Yunho smiles.
"Not that I'm not enjoying this, but who's hungry?" Jaejoong asks as he gets to his feet.
Changmin perks up, "I could eat."
"Let's go to dinner," Jaejoong suggests and slides his hands into his pockets, Changmin stands up and steps on Yoochun's back on his way off the bed.
Yoochun groans and Junsu helps him up. "Seriously, are you guys dating? It would make sense," he says quietly but Yunho can still hear them.
He laughs, "No, we're not. I like to mess with him," he answers and looks at Yunho who hasn't moved. "Are you coming?"
Yunho nods and moves the blankets aside. "Give me a second," he asks and they nod and leave.
He's looking for a pair of jeans to change into when the door opens again and Jaejoong comes in, letting the door close behind him with a soft click.
Yunho freezes for a moment, only half way in his jeans. Under different circumstances he wouldn't care that he's half naked and it's not like they haven't changed in front of each other before but now it's a little embarrassing, especially since he worries how his body will react… like it is now and he groans shoving his leg into the denim and turning around to zip up.
"How are you doing?" he asks pleasantly, keeping his spot by the door.
Yunho looks over his shoulder at him and clasps his button, pressing down on the rising tension of his crotch before he turns around quickly and sits to put some socks on.
"I'm fine," he finally answers and brings a foot up to the bed.
Jaejoong nods with a smile. "You're not disgusted with us, now that you know, actual sex is involved?" he wonders, before this conversation it was only hand and blow jobs to deal with.
Yunho thinks back on the time he clicked on a link that made a gay porn window pop up on his computer. He remembers being horrified. Now that he's found out some of the guys actually do it and seem ok with it, it's not as horrifying. "It's a lot to take in," he answers slowly and grabs his other sock, "but I'm ok," he tells Jaejoong who twists his lips and keeps smiling.
"You know, at first the thought of doing stuff with the guys was kinda weird," he says walking closer to the bed and Yunho watches him carefully. "but, trust is a really big deal and more than anything, I trust them. We trust each other," he says slowly, meeting his gaze and holding on to it. "I trust you too, Yunho," he adds and Yunho bites his lip as he finishes sliding his other sock on.
He stands up and is glad he's got nothing between his legs to be embarrassed about anymore, "I trust you too, Jaejoong," he tells him and it's completely honest.
He's always been the closest with Jaejoong, from the beginning. From the first moment they met, they clicked and the relationship has always been close. Closer than the rest of them, at least he thought so until recently.
What strikes him the most is that Jaejoong admits to not kissing the others. He remembers years ago, while they were still training and Jaejoong was crying because he thought they would never make it, he kissed him. He kissed him like a lover and Yunho kissed back. He lumped it with physical and emotional stress and never thought anything about it, but he always remembers. He'll always remember that night on the roof of the building that Jaejoong pulled him in and shared the most intimate moment of his life with him.
Yunho thinks now how vulnerable Jaejoong must have felt, to share something like that with him.
He moves towards Jaejoong and looks into his eyes, eyes that remind him of warmth, of safety. "Remember when you kissed me?" he asks him and Jaejoong blushes beautifully.
"I've never forgotten," he answers and looks away bashfully.
Yunho grabs him because he wants to touch him, fan-service aside, he's always loved Jaejoong the most. "I'll always trust you, Jaejoong," he tells him and hugs him, feeling warmth circulate beautifully inside his chest.
Jaejoong holds him tight and breathes into his neck, holding him so close he can feel his heartbeat. "Yunho," he whispers into his ear, "I'm glad you know," he presses tight and pulls away, looking at him, "and I'm here," he licks his lips, "for you, if you want," he smiles shyly and Yunho smiles because he knows exactly what he means.
"I know, Jaejoong," he grabs his hand and holds it tight.
He leads him to the door and Jaejoong holds him back for a second.
"The guys are wondering who you'll go to first," he warns him and Yunho sighs, of course they would. "Yoochun's good," he tells him, "and Changmin is a lot better than you'd think. Junsu wants to get it over with as soon as possible so it's sloppy and I'm-"
Yunho squeezes his hand. "You're gentle," he says and Jaejoong laughs. "Come on, we should go or they'll start to wonder," he smiles and Jaejoong nods dropping his hand to open the door.
"I'm also the best," he winks and Yunho feels the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
Yunho wakes up to sounds of Yoochun in Changmin's bed.
"You're so lame," he laughs trying his best to be quiet but the moan that escapes his lips next isn't so subtle. "Admit it," he breathes and Yunho clutches at the blanket.
"If you keep talking I'm kicking you out," Changmin whispers harshly and Yoochun chuckles. "They don't need to know everything," he mutters and Yunho thinks he's listening in on a very private moment between them.
"You lied today," Yoochun gasps and Yunho's toes curl. "You're going to Hell for that."
"If I'm going to Hell, it's not because I lied today, now shut up or you're going to take care of this on your own," he threatens and Yoochun laughs again, full of pleasure when Yunho's sure Changmin does something really good.
He doesn't know how he fell asleep especially with Yoochun making all sorts of inappropriate noises but he did and when he wakes up again they're still at it and he's completely aroused.
"Do. Do that again," Changmin rasps and Yunho groans. "Oh fuck. Wait. I think he's awake," he whispers.
"What?" comes Yoochun's voice.
"Yunho?" Changmin calls softly and Yunho throws the blankets off.
"Don't mind me," he says and sits up.
"Oh fuck," Yoochun whines and there's lots of movement in the bed.
Yunho stands up and heads for the door. "I'm just. Sorry," he opens the door. "Continue," he says as he leaves and closes the door behind him. He doesn't know what he's going to do about himself, so he heads to the bathroom only to run into Jaejoong coming out.
"Oh, shit. Yunho," he bumps into him and grabs his shoulders before they fall over. "What are you doing up?" he asks and then Yunho, to his horror, knows he feels it because the fingers around his shoulders tighten and Jaejoong looks down between them. "Yunho," he says softly and Yunho pulls away embarrassed.
Of all the fucking things that could happen.
Jaejoong looks up and bites his lip, "Um."
Yunho stumbles a bit and crosses his hands over himself. "Yoochun and Changmin," he explains as if it makes sense but Jaejoong eyes him questionably. "They were. You know," he clears his throat, "doing stuff."
It takes a moment but Jaejoong understands and nods. "You can stay in my room," he offers but his eyes are down and are looking right where they shouldn't be which only makes things worse. "I mean. If. If you want," he speaks to his crotch quite blatantly.
Yunho shifts uncomfortably and looks over at his room. If he goes back in he doesn't know if he'll manage to get any sleep. "Um, Junsu?" he asks and doesn't know why because he's perfectly aware Junsu normally passes out on the couch after playing video games.
Jaejoong looks down the hall. "He's asleep in the living room," he answers and reaches out, grabbing one of Yunho's hands, brushing against him and Yunho shudders. "Come on," he whispers and Yunho follows him willingly.
There are two beds, Jaejoong's and Yoochun's. Yunho, still unpleasantly aroused walks to Yoochun's bed and Jaejoong doesn't stop him. He turns the blankets over and slides in, curling his legs against his chest as he watches Jaejoong's silhouette in the darkness. He's graceful even in the dark and Yunho doesn't think it helps matters.
"Good night, Yunho," Jaejoong says and Yunho rolls to his back, he's glad the lights are off.
"Good night, Jaejoong," he answers and closes his eyes.
He tries his best to sleep.
He tries to ignore the tightness in his stomach.
He tries not to remember that in the other room Yoochun and Changmin are doing things that would help get rid of this problem.
Yunho doesn't hear him get out of bed and is completely unaware until he feels the covers lift and the bed dip as Jaejoong slides in beside him.
"Jaejoong," his voice catches in his throat and he tenses from head to toe. He feels him turn on his side.
"Shh," he moves in until his mouth is against his ear. "Let me help you, Yunho," he whispers and soon there's a hand, right on top of him, gripping him between the legs and Yunho takes a shaky breath that rattles through his entire body. "Relax," he instructs and moves his hand up slowly until it rests at the waist of his pants.
Yunho knows he's shaking and thinks Jaejoong may feel it as he moves the blankets aside. He climbs over him and settles between his legs and Yunho bites at his lip, stir crazy with excitement and horror and tension and everything else that could possibly make him faint.
He can hear his own heavy breathing as Jaejoong's hands pull his pants down, and clenches his eyes shut wondering what the fuck he's doing and how much he wants it, but fuck.
When he feels soft fingers touch him he gasps. "Wait!" he cries out and the hand moves away immediately. "Wait," he sits up suddenly and he can see Jaejoong on his knees between his exposed body, "I don't. I don't know."
"It's ok, Yunho," he speaks gently, "I don't have to do anything," he tells him and his voice is calm and filled with reassurance. "I just thought I could help," he finishes and begins to move away but Yunho takes another deep breath to steady his heart.
"Hold on," he clenches his hands against the sheet, "just, give me a second." He breathes some more.
And Jaejoong remains quiet and still and he can feel the deep penetration of his gaze. "Whatever you want, Yunho. I'm not going to do anything you don't want," he says gently, perfectly and so tenderly Yunho knows it's more than just needing to please himself.
After a moment, his fingers loosen around the bed clothes and he lies back down and closes his eyes. He can see Jaejoong's face and he's smiling at him, one of the millions they've shared before, of understanding and full of consideration and respect. "Ok," he swallows loudly and feels the bed dip carefully. "I trust you, Jaejoong," he says softly, to calm himself, to calm Jaejoong, but mostly to calm himself.
The moment he feels the soft press of a mouth over him, Yunho gasps and bites his lip to keep from crying out and surrenders.
Jaejoong is gentle and sweet and Yunho's fingers curl around his pillow as his tongue slides over him.
"Jaejoong-" he wheezes as he brings him close and clenches his eyes shut when he knows he's about to come.
In the morning Yunho wakes up alone and he can't remember when he had a better night's sleep. He also remembers he's not in his own bed. Quickly, he looks over and Jaejoong's bed is empty. He rubs at his eyes and blinks up at the ceiling.
He thinks back and feels himself flush when the images fall into his memory. He smiles and laughs for a moment, closing his eyes remembering what it felt like, how amazing it was, how different it felt. How much he enjoyed it and how grateful it was that Jaejoong was the one.
"You didn't have to," Yunho sighs blissfully melted against the sheets, his body still recovering from the euphoric release.
Jaejoong pulls his pants up and replaces the covers. "I wanted to," he says with a dark smile, he's about to get off the bed but Yunho grabs hold of his pant leg and gives it a little tug.
"I know it's not supposed to be serious," he says with heavy eyelids that beg for sleep. "But," he yawns and tugs at Jaejoong's pants again, "sleep here, I won't tell anyone."
Jaejoong chuckles softly, sweetly and crawls in next to him. He doesn't hug him, doesn't kiss him, just lies against him with their shoulders touching. "Yunho," he speaks quietly.
He yawns again, "Yeah?"
"We don't have to tell anyone about this if you don't want to," he turns on his side and Yunho looks over at him, opening his eyes.
"Ok," he says and for a moment wonders why it feels like Jaejoong wants to keep it a secret, but he's tired so he rolls onto his side and slides his arms around Jaejoong's back, pulling him close. "Thank you, Jaejoong," he whispers into his neck and falls asleep.
Yunho smiles for a moment a little proud of himself, he isn't the only one being left out anymore.
He throws the blankets off and looks at the clock. It's late and he walks out of the bedroom to find everyone in the kitchen. Yoochun is pouring himself a cup of coffee, when he sees him his eyes widen for a second.
"I'm sorry about last night," he apologizes immediately and Yunho shakes his head.
"It's ok," he smiles and pulls out a chair. Changmin and Junsu are trying to look at the same magazine and fighting on when to turn the page.
"Morning, Hyung," Changmin mutters, eyes on the printed sheets. Junsu looks up at him and his mouth falls open.
"You have a come face!" he shouts very loud and even points in amazement. "Shut the fuck up," he yells.
At this everyone looks up at Yunho and he blushes and does his best to ignore them. He eyes move to Jaejoong who is busy filling a plate of food for him.
"What!?" he can hear Yoochun cry out. He ignores him.
"Way to go, Hyung," Changmin laughs but Yunho continues to ignore them. When Jaejoong turns around and their eyes meet he smiles.
"Good morning, Yunho," Jaejoong says pleasantly and sets down a plate for him.
"Thank you, Jaejoong" he grins and shares his secret with a smile.
"Any time," Jaejoong grins and his eyes sparkle.
[Master Fic List]
Pairing: Yunho-centric, Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Changmin bias, OT5ish.
Genre: Comedy, Romance, Fluff
Rating: R-ish
Summary: Yunho walks in on the unimaginable, when he realizes everyone else is doing it, he can't help but feel left out.
A/N: This is the first Yunho-centric fic I've written. I hope I've done him justice and I hope everyone enjoys it.
All he wanted was to ask Yoochun if he knew where his favorite sweatshirt, which he had last seen on him, was.
What he didn't want nor expected was a visual assault on his eyes, Yoochun pressed against the wall getting a blow job and not from a girl.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Yunho looks away almost instantly and he can feel himself consumed in embarrassment, a violent rush of red that starts at his toes and curls around his ears.
"Fuck, Yunho?" Yoochun opens his eyes and slams his hands down over the head bobbing between his legs which lets out a painful yowl and then a deliberate gasp of horror.
"Ya! Yunho Hyung!"
And Yunho knows, not only is it not a girl on their knees giving Yoochun a blow job but it's one of his own and that sends him stumbling out of the room, tripping on his feet as he hears Yoochun yell.
"Don't you fucking stop!"
Five minutes later when Yoochun walks out fiddling with the button of his jeans and his neck still painted in euphoria, Yunho can't seem to look him in the eye.
"Um, about that," Yoochun's voice is heavy and filled with hesitation and Yunho holds his hand up and uses the other to fiddle with the remote.
"Don't talk to me right now," he tells him through choked embarrassment, eyes forward on the screen, trying hard not to notice the reflection of something tall and young slinking into view with failing stealth.
It doesn't help when the guilty voice of Changmin rings through the air and Yunho shudders.
"Um, Yuhn-"
Yunho stands abruptly and tries to move away from them without looking like a complete asshole. "No. Changmin. Just," he grabs for his keys but they're wedged in between the couch cushions, which means he'll have to turn around, which also means he'll have to look at them, unless he does it all with his eyes closed, but that would be silly. "It's ok," he swallows and makes the move and all he can see are his dongsaengs looking all kinds of shades of guilt. He flushes and grabs his keys. "I'll be back."
And he walks to the door, almost there until it comes flying open and Junsu and Jaejoong rush through, arms filled with shopping bags.
"Where are you going?"
"Oh my god, you need to see these pants!"
It's one large unavoidable wave of commotion that comes with the two and Yunho gets caught up almost instantly entangled in paper bags and questions and Junsu who's squirming away.
"Yoochun, you have your come face!" Junsu screeches and everything freezes because Yunho has never, once in his life, heard those words uttered from Junsu.
Junsu who laughs at the little things that make no sense and appears to be far more innocent than he's apparently letting on.
His eyes gravitate to a very guilty couple that encompasses Yoochun and Changmin and it doesn't get any better when Changmin wipes his mouth with a shit eating grin. Yoochun on the other hands tries to look quite horrified but there's a familiar gratification in his eyes that Yunho finds undeniable.
"Yeah well, Yunho walked in on us," Changmin said easily and Yunho thinks he may have a heart attack.
It leaves his mouth so innocently.
Jaejoong who doesn't at all look bothered by it turns to him with his eagle eyes and roots him to the spot he wishes would open up and swallow him whole. "Oh," he says and Yunho tries desperately to untangle himself because all he wants to do is head for the door and get away from this awfully uncomfortable situation.
"Yunho Hyung," Junsu says slowly but Yunho shakes his head grasping at his keys until he's sure there will be an imprint in the morning.
"I'm going out," he announces and Jaejoong takes a step closer to him.
"Yunho," his voice is like silk and appeasing.
He shakes his head and avoids them all. "Out," he says firmly and makes his way around the both of them. "Um. I'm going now," he manages to say and opens the door without anyone trying to stop him.
"It's not like-"
"Be quiet!" he yells, though not angry, he isn't angry, just mortified. "I'm leaving now," he tells them and finally manages to walk out into the open hallway that leaves what he just saw in the house in the past and takes a very long breath of air.
Jaejoong unfortunately, like a leech, follows him out and doesn't say anything until they're in the car and Yunho has managed to forget exactly what he is supposed to be doing.
All he can see are images of Yoochun and Changmin.
His fingers tighten around the steering until the soft touch of a hand breaks him away.
"Don't be angry," Jaejoong's using his comforting voice, the one that makes everything better.
But Yunho thinks he may be traumatized. "I'm not angry," he says slowly and pulls his hands away.
Jaejoong nods but doesn't say anything else.
He thinks the silence is deafening but he's lost function of his hands and probably his brain. He doesn't remember the last time he got a blow job and Yunho thinks that's a little more unnerving considering the situation.
They sit together and surprisingly it's not uncomfortable, the way it probably should be. He just witnessed something quiet unexpected and he doesn't know how exactly to react to it, though he thinks it could be far worse.
Like he could be disgusted.
But he's not and that is somewhat comforting, otherwise it would make things far more intolerable.
Yunho doesn't know how long they've been sitting in the car but eventually he sees his door open and he can't remember when Jaejoong stepped out.
"Come on," Jaejoong reaches for him and Yunho curls his fingers around the expectant hand and holds it, warm and soft to the touch, motherly in all forms of masculinity that he's become quite accustomed too. "Yoochun's probably crying, thinking that you hate him," he says with a tiny smile that looks genuine.
Yunho steps out and slides his keys into his pocket. "I don't hate him," he says honestly because he loves Yoochun. And he loves Changmin and even that foul mouthed Junsu who he'll have to keep a closer eye on from now on.
A couple day pass and everything seems to be back to normal. Changmin is raging war on Junsu for accidently erasing a good 75% of his music from his MP3 player, again.
He catches Changmin sitting on the couch looking grumpy and harassed when he takes a seat.
"How long," he asks him clearly and Changmin doesn't look over.
He's too busy seeing which songs were salvaged. "How long what?" he says distracted, finger tapping at the buttons.
Yunho rubs the clammy moisture from his hands on his jeans, because he's nervous and he hasn't actually forgotten what happened not too long ago. In fact he's been dreaming about it and has woken up to sticky sheets and an unsound mind.
"How long have you and Yoochun been-"
"Fuck!" Changmin's booming voice rattles the windows and he jumps to his feet as gracefully as an angry feline. "I'm going to kill him!" he threatens and Yunho thinks he hears the faint squeal of Junsu somewhere in the apartment.
"Changmin," he tries to refocus him but the maknae is already charging through the hall beating at the walls while he wails horrible retributions.
Somewhere in the back he can hear Changmin screaming and the resonating sound of something being thrown across the room, followed by a loud wail of despair.
Yunho hears the door open and Yoochun walks through with a smile on his face that drops almost instantly.
He's seemed to be completely petrified of Yunho since the fateful day and Yunho doesn't know why.
"Hyung," he says deeply and Yunho's about to ask him instead because Yoochun always manages to confess to everything with so much as a wayward glance, that is until Junsu screams and it takes both of their attention away.
"What the hell is that?" Jaejoong sails in with dark glasses and tight clothes and Yunho thinks his breath catches in his throat for a moment.
They all get quiet and hear Changmin berating in his superior tone that makes most of them forget he's the youngest and should probably remember his place.
Jaejoong scoffs and pushes Yoochun. "Go take care of that," he tells him which makes Yoochun nod and look like he's relieved he doesn't have to face the lion that is their leader.
Yunho watches him scurry away and it leaves them alone again, which he's notices, has become quite often.
Though he doesn't mind.
"Do you want some tea? I want some tea," Jaejoong makes his way briskly through the living room and into the kitchen like he's gliding.
Yunho can hear Yoochun yelling at Changmin to calm down and he turns from it, "only if you're going to make yourself some," he answers and looks at the blank television screen.
Through the reflection he can make out Jaejoong fiddling around in the kitchen and he finds comfort that certain things have not changed, like Jaejoong, who doesn't avoid him and continues to behave exactly as if nothing happened.
After a few minutes when the noise in the back has calmed and Yunho finds himself wondering what has silenced them, Jaejoong walks into the living room with two cups of steaming tea.
He smiles as he hands Yunho one and then takes a seat beside him, covering his own porcelain mug with both hands.
Yunho watches as his lips purse together and he blows the steam from the edges. Innocently enough Jaejoong grins when he catches him staring.
"It bothers you," he speaks softly taking a cautious drink and Yunho shakes his head.
"No. No it's not that. I'm just. I'm just. Curious," he says honestly. He watches the way Jaejoong's Adam's apple bobs with each careful sip and his lips look full and heavy around the stark contrast of the mug. He turns away the moment Jaejoong's eyes meet his and Yunho's very aware that he's blushing.
"What are you curious about?" he asks him crossing his legs and resting back comfortably against the cushions of the couch. He looks at ease and perhaps Yunho has been going about it the wrong way. It appears Jaejoong could be a bundle of information he's been unable to get from the others.
Before speaking he takes a soothing drink and lets it settle in his stomach before proceeding. "Um," he licks his lips and can taste the subtle hint of lavender. "So… are Yoochun and Changmin like?" he lets the rest hang in the air.
Jaejoong laughs and rustles a bit beside him. "No," he answers with a smile. "It's not like that," he takes another drink and smacks his lips. "Is that what you're worried about?"
Yunho shakes his head quickly and rests his cup on his thigh, "I'm not worried," he insists and curls his fingers around the cool handle. "Even if they were, I mean," he shrugs and blinks for a moment, "I don't care about that."
"Good," Jaejoong's smile is still painted like art across his rose lips and he stands up, empty mug dangling from his curled index finger, "but they're not, just so you know," he reaches for Yunho's cup, which is still mostly full, "You didn't like it?" he asks with a laugh and Yunho watches him walk back into the kitchen.
"So then why?" he calls out, turning around. He brings a leg up to the cushion and bends his knee.
"Why what?" Jaejoong asks as he opens the refrigerator and buries half his body in.
Yunho waits until he's out before speaking again to avoid repeating himself. "Why did this start? I mean, how did it happen?"
Jaejoong laughs and under different circumstances it would sound condescending but there's a difference in the chime, patience and understanding. "Come on Yunho, we can't date. If we're out with a girl everyone takes pictures," he tells him what he already knows, "they get leaked onto the internet and fuck, we're dead. Fans want to kill themselves, want to kill the girl, everything blows up and well-" he twists his lips as he uncovers leftovers from last night's dinner, "we had to improvise," he shrugs and gives him an audacious wink that leaves Yunho feeling flushed. "You want some of this?" he asks suddenly, quite normally.
Yunho shakes his head flabbergasted. "How can you think of food right now?" he demands and turns back around on the couch, staring at the television again.
Jaejoong's behaving so nonchalant about it it's making him feel like he's the one overreacting.
And he's trying not to.
He hears Jaejoong mucking around for a few minutes before the sizzle of food absorbs the silence. "Hey," Jaejoong speaks up again, "Yunho, it's not a big deal ok," he's walking back into the living room, "there's nothing romantic about it. We trust each other and you know, it's nice every once in a while to get off."
At that Yunho gets to his feet and shakes his head, a ball of nerves. Jaejoong grabs his arm and holds him in place, his face gentle and his eyes are soft.
"It's not a big deal," he repeats with emphasis. "It's fun," his mouth curves up and Yunho pulls away.
He glares at him for a moment. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" he questions and soon he's being pulled into the kitchen, pushed onto a chair and watches Jaejoong tend to the food.
"We thought you knew," he answers and grabs for some salt.
Yunho frowns and feels wounded. He didn't know. He had no fucking idea this was happening.
"Apparently you are as unperceptive as everyone thinks you are," he laughs and this time it does sound a little condescending.
Yunho glares at the table top. "How long has this been happening?" he speaks slowly and looks up as Jaejoong starts sliding food onto a plate. He watches him turn the stove off.
"Um," he's visibly thinking, even as he sets the plate of food down in front of Yunho with a napkin. "I think sometime in Japan," he nods and takes a seat. "Eat."
It's hard to gauge how long an answer of Japan could be, they've spent almost half of their career in Japan, which leaves an awful wide time table. "When in Japan?" he doesn't touch the food and looks intently at Jaejoong who reaches over after a couple of seconds and grabs the chopsticks.
"Five in the Black maybe?" he shrugs and takes a bite.
Before Yunho has a chance to scream, because fuck, that was years ago and something like this has been happening under his nose for years, Changmin comes plowing through.
"I smell food," he calls out and Yunho looks past him to see Junsu giving Yoochun a piggy back ride.
"I want some," Junsu says and tosses Yoochun off as he grabs a chair.
Yunho watches in mild dismay as the plate in front of him is pulled away and Changmin plucks the chop sticks from Jaejoong's mouth.
"Excuse me," he turns to him but Changmin's eating and can't seem to be bothered, "I was using those," he adds standing up.
Junsu snorts, "He's had your dick in his mouth; you think he's worried about used chopsticks?"
Changmin, Yoochun and Jaejoong all laugh as if it's the funniest thing in the entire world. And somehow Yunho thinks he can't breathe properly.
"Junsu, shut the fuck up," Yoochun punches him as he walks to get some water.
"Well it seems Changmin didn't beat the shit out of you?" Jaejoong crosses his arms as he leans against the counter and talks as if their previous conversation never existed. Junsu smiles cheerily and runs a hand along Changmin's neck, who elbows him.
"He wouldn't do something so mean like that," he chirps and tries bravely to get at some of the food, only to be denied. "Besides," he shrugs, "I told him I'd give him a hand job tonight, so we're cool," he grins.
Junsu has lost all his innocence, Yunho can see it slipping away from him like his soul drifting from his body.
How the hell could he have possibly not known any of this?
"Junsu!" Yoochun yells and everyone looks at him.
"What?"
All eyes turn to Yunho whose blushing and he hates it. Junsu's eyes widen for a moment.
"Oh, shit. Sorry, Hyung."
Yunho stands up from the table and Jaejoong's on him super fast. "Yunho, sit down," he tells him but what he really wants to do is leave so he has time to digest it all and possibly shake the image of his friends doing dirty things out of his mind.
"No, I'm tired," he says and smiles, hoping it's not as uncomfortable as it feels. "I'm going to rest." He tears away from Jaejoong and weaves through the rest of them. On his way out he hears Yoochun scolding Junsu.
"Jeez, maybe someone should give him a blow job," Junsu mutters and Yunho thinks he doesn't even know who this Junsu is, but the rest of them who are laughing, apparently seem too.
He can't sleep. No matter how much he tries.
Yunho rolls onto his side and buries his cheek in his pillow. He can hear everyone laughing in the living room, probably recanting stories of stolen blows job between video takes and secret hand jobs in dark corners.
He's sore, sore that this was going on and probably more bruised that no one told him about it.
He thinks it hurts his ego more than anything. It's not like he hasn't thought about how great it would be to alleviate the building tension. It's not like he doesn't do those kinds of things. It's not like he would say no.
But he really wonders if he would say yes and maybe that's why he's been singled out, maybe he wouldn't say yes.
Yunho wonders if that makes him a prude or maybe it makes the rest of them dirty little sluts.
Somehow, he doesn't know.
Changmin corners him in the bathroom at night when everyone else is sleeping.
"Hyung," he closes the door and locks it behind him.
Yunho freezes and lets the water rush from the sink as he watches him walk closer and stands right beside him.
"What are you doing?" he asks slowly and turns the water off. Changmin rests against the counter in rumpled sleep clothes.
"I can tell you’re a little messed up about all this," he crosses his arms over his chest and takes a deep breath. "You really shouldn't be," he adds and reaches over for the towel. He pulls it free and hands it to him.
Yunho takes it gratefully and dries his face. "How could you keep it a secret this long?" he asks and takes a step back, tossing the towel on the counter. He watches silently as Changmin folds it in half.
"It wasn't really a secret," he says with a shrug of his broad shoulders, "and you know, it doesn't happen all the time. Like every night."
That's a little comforting. Yunho looks at his friend. "You like it?"
Changmin laughs handsomely even in the middle of the night when he's got sleep in his eyes and a wrinkled shirt. "What's not to like? Yeah, I like it a lot."
"And it's not weird?" Yunho crosses his arms.
He shrugs again, "You get over it after awhile. I mean the first time, yeah it kinda was cause it's like, oh my god, Yoochun is sucking me off right now and he's a guy but you know what's going to happen in the end so you kind of just squeeze your eyes shut, think of boobs and enjoy it," he laughs.
Yunho smiles and scratches his head. "It's that easy?"
Changmin nods and pulls away from the counter. "Yunho, it's like Big Brother in this fucking company. We can't just pick up someone, have a good fuck, say thanks and walk away. We figured out a way to you know, do that stuff and not get caught."
And it sounds just as reasonable as Jaejoong's response. Which leaves him feeling left out.
He shuffles on his feet. "Well. Why didn't you guys, you know, ask me?"
Changmin's eyes twinkle and he clasps a hand over his shoulder, "You're big bad Yunho, Leader extraordinaire," he chuckles, "We thought you might punch us."
Yunho laughs and it makes him feel a little better. Just a little.
Changmin moves towards the toilet and Yunho turns away. "Really though," he pulls himself out without regard and it's not like they've ever been shy around each other, "we figured you weren't interested because of your faith and all. I mean, you never asked."
He starts peeing and Yunho frowns because he hadn't really considered that and then he thinks of Junsu who's probably the most faithful of them all.
"But Junsu?"
"Junsu," Changmin finishes and flushes the toilet with a laugh, "that fucker likes coming a whole lot better than praying," he says and washes his hands. "In fact," he grabs for the towel, "I don't think I've ever seen Junsu on his knees praying." He winks and Yunho's all flushed and bothered again.
He unlocks the door and Changmin turns off the light.
Before they head off in their own direction, Changmin grabs his wrist. "Talk to Yoochun," he asks him, "he's kind of fucked up ever since you caught us," he says and there's a sincere softness to his voice that's beautifully caring. "He doesn't want you to be mad at him."
Yunho thinks of Yoochun who he's always had a soft spot for and feels bad. "Ok," he promises and he feels Changmin's fingers slide away.
"And if you ever get the chance," Changmin speaks quietly, "his tongue is fucking amazing," he grins cheekily and laughs when Yunho's mouth falls open.
Yunho has a dream he's pressed against a wall and hands are touching them; hands that caress his shoulders and smooth across his chest; fingers that weave through his hair and brush against his mouth. Palms that glide inside his thighs and skirt along his stomach.
His eyes open and between the space of his legs he sees something or rather, someone, crawling out and it's only a moment before Jaejoong's kneeling between his legs, molesting hands replaced with strong, warm fingers that curl around the swell of his thighs. His eyes are unnaturally black and glittering.
Yunho feels his breath catch and the hands curls around his clothing. "Jaejoong," he breathes heatedly and Jaejoong smiles slowly, enticingly and seductive.
His fingers scrawl to the button of his jeans. "All you have to do is ask," he says deeply and snaps them open.
And Yunho wakes up.
He's sweaty and the air around the room feels warm.
Sun is slicing through the blinds and he's out of breath, chest heaving up and down in quick staccato movements.
His eyes swing to the bed beside him and Changmin is sleeping soundly and he's alone.
Yunho runs a hand through his hair and tries to catch his breath, he looks at himself and he can see small beads of sweat collecting along his naked chest and between his legs he's firm and properly aroused.
"Oh fuck," he mutters and falls back to the bed.
As promised Yunho finds time to talk to Yoochun. They have a ten minute break from rehearsal at the dance studio and Changmin and Junsu are fighting in the corner over the only Nintendo DS in the entire building. Jaejoong is talking on his cell phone, passing inquisitive glances in his direction every couple of minutes and Yunho ignores them as he leaves and searches for Yoochun.
He finds him in the hallway taking long drinks from a bottle of water. The moment their eyes meet Yoochun chokes and spits out what's in his mouth. Yunho smiles nicely and uses the white towel to wipe at his neck.
"Yoochun, we should talk," he says calmly and Yoochun nods.
When they don't actually say anything Yoochun begins to look uncomfortable which doesn't settle well with Yunho's stomach.
"You have nothing to worry about," Yunho speaks first and Yoochun's face breaks into a smile of complete relief. "I don't care what you do with the others," he adds and Yoochun walks to him with open arms.
Yunho thinks he's hopeless and hugs him anyway.
They break apart after a few moments and Yoochun stands beside him as they lean against the wall. "You can ask me anything you want, you know," he tells Yunho seriously. "And we didn't mean to keep it from you."
Yunho nods in understanding. Everyone he's talked to has told him the same thing and he finds it difficult to hold it against them. "Yeah well, what a way to find out," he smiles and Yoochun flushes handsomely, even with streaks of sweat on his t-shirt and damp hair.
"Sorry about that," he bumps his shoulder perfectly rosy. "We thought you went out with Junsu and Jaejoong," he explains and takes another drink, he hands the bottle over to Yunho when he's finished and watches him. "It's mostly about relieving the tension," he adds quite seriously and bites at his lip. "We're not really serious or anything, just you know, sometimes you need it."
It makes sense, just as it did when Jaejoong talked about it and again when Changmin said pretty much the same thing with different words.
His dream comes back to him and Yunho takes a deep breath, he could use some help with his own tension.
"You know," Yoochun starts talking after a few moments. He's looking at him intently. "If you want, one of us wouldn't mind, I mean," he grins devilishly and winks in that grease ball way of his. "It's not like you don't come up in conversation," he smiles and Yunho thinks he's probably as red as the walls they're leaning against.
"Is this a proposition?" he asks looking at the floor, smiling despite himself.
He can hear Yoochun chuckle, deeply that makes him shudder. "You don't have to," he reaches for him and Yunho tenses instinctively. "There's no pressure," he adds if only to pacify him.
Yunho nods and looks up just as Jaejoong pops his head out from the rehearsal room and meets his eyes. Yunho shudders again and closes his eyes. "I'll have to think about it," he answers and finds Yoochun's eyes bouncing between him and Jaejoong.
"Time's almost up," Jaejoong calls out down the hall and Yunho nods avoiding his eyes, which he feels are still on him. He burns from Yoochun's stare even after Jaejoong disappears back into the room.
"He's surprisingly gentle," Yoochun says.
Yunho breathes in and out of his mouth. "Jaejoong?" he looks up and Yoochun smiles in a way that makes Yunho feel like he knows his secrets.
Jaejoong is sitting on the couch while the others are stumbling over each other to get to the shower. Yunho closes the door and finds him picking at his nails. On his way to the hall he hears Jaejoong clear his throat.
"You've been avoiding me today," he says and looks up, turning his head in Yunho's direction. He doesn't look angry or annoyed; in fact he's quite serene as he sits there calmly.
Yunho remembers his eyes and the desire he saw in them in the dream. They look the same but less alluring, though Jaejoong never really stops being alluring even after hours of dance rehearsal.
"I'm sorry," Yunho walks hesitantly towards the couch.
Jaejoong accepts it with a nod. "I saw you talking to Yoochun," he stands up gracefully and Yunho can't take his eyes off him, or the way his pants hang loosely from his hips. "Everything ok?" He moves in close, so close he can smell the dried sweat against his neck and the remnants of his cologne.
Yunho licks his lips. He doesn't know how he musters the courage to say it, or what he's even thinking when it falls from his mouth, but it does and he can't take it back. "Yoochun says you're gentle."
The sparkle from the dream glitters in Jaejoong's dark eyes instantly as he moves even closer until his mouth is close enough where his breath brushes against his ear in smooth strokes. "All you have to do is ask, Yunho," he touches his hip momentarily and moves away almost as fast.
Yunho's fingers clutch as the back of the couch while Jaejoong disappears into the hallway and leaves him alone. He looks down and finds exactly what he hoped he wouldn't.
Fucking dream, he scolds himself and crosses his hands over his provoked crotch and makes his way towards his room. Inside Changmin is grabbing clothes for his shower. It seems Junsu beat them both.
He sees it the moment he walks through.
"Want some help with that?" he asks with a playful smile.
Yunho wants to faint as he rushes to his bed and grabs a pillow to cover himself. "Changmin," he warns but Changmin's already walking out.
"Calm down, take care of it in the shower if you're still being a pussy about it," he winks and walks out. "Hey! Yoochun, get your ass in the shower!" Yunho hears him yell before the door closes.
Yunho moves the pillow away and his problem hasn't gone down. It's humiliating and he has Jaejoong to thank for it, but thinking of Jaejoong again makes him remember his dream and the problem worsens. He tries to think of terrible things like dead dogs hoping his erection will fall, until he hears Jaejoong laughing and he knows he's got bigger problems now.
By the time it's his turn to take a shower the water's almost cold, which seems fitting. He takes care of himself under the spray once it starts warming up and makes quick work of it, slumping against the wall as he releases and his bones feel like jelly.
In the mirror, dripping wet he looks at his reflection and steadies himself against the counter.
He looks pretty pathetic.
He wants it.
"Fuck," he mutters and brushes the hair from his eyes, throwing his towel around his neck. "Fuck."
He gives himself one last glance and walks out.
In the bedroom he finds Yoochun lying on Changmin's bed and Changmin's sitting on top of him.
"Give me a break guys," Yunho groans and both of them turn their heads and laugh. Yoochun falls back to the bed with a sigh.
"My back hurts," he says, "It's just a massage, don't worry."
"You can be next if you'd like," Changmin says as his hands smooth down Yoochun's back. "But I charge a fee," he adds with a smirk.
Yunho scoffs and tosses the towel over a chair and walks to his bed. He watches quietly as Changmin works his knuckles along Yoochun's spine and soft moans escape his mouth until Changmin hits a mean spot.
"Ow, you fucker!" he yelps and jerks wildly.
"Sorry!"
Yunho laughs and settles himself against the wall.
"So are you just going to sit there and be quiet?" Changmin turns his head and looks at him, fingers still working effortlessly. Yunho clears his throat.
He figures if he's really interested in trying this thing out, he should at least talk to someone about it. He can't really talk to Jaejoong seeing as he's currently the main focus of his wily hormones and probably couldn't trust his body not to do anything stupid, like pop a boner at a mere sideways glance.
"So, um, how would," he starts hesitantly and they both look at him, "uh. Say I wanted to try to. You know. I mean, how would I-" his fail makes him completely embarrassed. He wonders where his balls have gone and why he's so nervous.
Thankfully they don't seem to want to take advantage of the situation.
"I mean, who did it first? Like, how did it happen?" he finally manages to connect his words into a somewhat coherent sentence.
Yoochun talks first, "Changmin was drunk and horny. He practically raped my mouth," Yoochun answers and wails again when Changmin hurts him on his side.
"Do you think it's wise to say shit like that while I'm up here?" he asks with a bite. Yoochun snickers and rolls his eyes. "Shut up," he tells him and Yoochun nods closing his eyes to enjoy his massage. "We talked about it first," Changmin answers seriously. "It's not a big deal anymore, but it kind of was in the beginning. I had to make sure Yoochun wouldn't freak out. Alcohol helped."
Yunho tucks his legs under the blankets and nods. "So you were ok with it, Yoochun?"
Yoochun makes a noise and Changmin gives him a nudge, "don't fall asleep, jerk, he's talking to you."
"Huh?" he opens his eyes, "oh, um, I was feeling pretty vulnerable, you know, not getting laid, being horny, it wears on you. Alcohol was definitely a key in the deciding factor."
"So you guys were drunk all the time?" Yunho asks curiously, he's not much a drinker and by the way his body is acting, apparently he doesn't need to be.
"Well not all the time. Junsu was never drunk and he didn't care as long as he got what he needed, eventually we didn't care either."
He wonders about Jaejoong, who drinks probably more than anyone. "And Jaejoong?"
Changmin scoffs and massages Yoochun's neck slowly. "Jaejoong is completely hedonistic, drunk, sober, he does anything."
Yoochun rolls away and sighs. "Ok, that's good enough; I want to stay awake for this conversation."
"Say thank you," Changmin tells him and takes a seat at the edge of the bed. Yunho watches Yoochun smile and crawl over giving him a kiss on the mouth.
"You're amazing, thank you," he mouths and pulls away.
And it's suddenly become a little more complicated. No one ever said anything about kissing.
"You. You guys kiss?" Yunho sputters surprised.
The both of them look at each other then at Yunho. "Changmin likes to kiss," Yoochun scurries away as a fist blasts out to punch him.
"Would you stop blurting things out like that, you idiot?" he screeches, he turns to Yunho who must look horrified even though he can't really feel it but he can tell from the mollifying look in Changmin's eyes he must. "Not all of us do," he says first. "I like to, when I'm with someone, I think it's only proper to kiss them, unless they mind."
Yoochun nods in agreement. "He's got manners," he smiles and bounces away when Changmin tries to attack. "What!? There's nothing wrong with that!" he exclaims excitedly.
"Who minds?" Yunho then asks with a twisted stomach.
"Junsu does," Yoochun chimes in. "He thinks kissing will make it more emotional. He's got the whole prison state of mind when it comes to this."
"Prison state of mind? What the fuck is that and why are things getting more complicated? You guys said it was no big deal," Yunho tightens his arms around the pillow.
"Calm down," Changmin answers and looks at Yoochun for a moment. He takes a deep breath, "In prison straight guys have sex-"
"Wait." Now he thinks he will faint. "You guys have sex?"
He doesn't know if it's divine intervention or just good luck but the door opens and Junsu and Jaejoong walk in. "What are you guys talking about in here?" Jaejoong asks and closes the door. He seems to ignore the other two and focuses solely on Yunho, which makes him believe instead, Satan is working against him.
"Prison sex," Changmin answers, always one to exploit the situation when given the opportunity.
"Nice," Junsu laughs and flops himself in the gap between Changmin and Yoochun, "Prison sex is always a good neutral topic."
Yoochun leans over Junsu's back and crosses his ankles in front of him. "Yunho wants to know if we have sex."
"No."
"Yes."
"Sometimes."
All the answers come at once and Yunho's head bounces with each voice until he's confused. This is crazy. "One at a time," he begs and the four of them in question laugh.
Junsu shoves Yoochun off him and gets to his knees, sitting back. "Hand jobs are good, blow jobs are better but no one is going near my ass," he explains easily.
Yoochun takes his turn. "I enjoy everything most of the time, but I really need to be in bad shape to have sex, it hurts and when you don't do it often, it hurts every time."
"Until you come," Changmin adds with a devilish smile.
And Yoochun nods with a laugh. "Right."
"I only give," Changmin chimes in.
"Unless you're super horny," Yoochun adds with his own smile and sparkle.
And Changmin nods. "Right."
Yunho tries to digest it all and at the same time not feel weird. Sex is major; guy sex is even more major. His eyes and everyone else go to Jaejoong who's fresh and clean and looks great in his whiskered jeans and v-neck tee shirt.
He stares back at them. "What?"
Yoochun covers his laugh, Junsu's mouth breaks in a smile and Changmin rolls his eyes. "Don't try and be innocent, you're the worst one, Hyung. You're kind of a slut."
Jaejoong's got the decency to look offended though like most of the time, it's clear he's not. "Sex is good," he finally admits and walks over to Yunho's bed. Yunho pulls his legs up and thinks everyone is watching the both of them. Jaejoong takes a seat somewhere in the middle. "Is that wrong?"
"No," is the unified answer and Yunho stares at him. Jaejoong knows it because he turns his head and they meet eyes for longer than a second and soon everything's quiet and even sooner it becomes a little uncomfortable. Luckily for him Yoochun breaks the silence.
"He's also curious about the kissing," he says suddenly and the gaze breaks and Yunho turns to the three on the bed now somehow unnaturally tangled together with twisted legs and awkward arms.
"What about the kissing?" Jaejoong asks curiously. "Who kisses?"
And it gives Yunho the impression, Jaejoong isn't one of them who does. Somehow, it makes him a little happy. Not that he wants to kiss him.
At least he's trying to tell himself that. But it's also not like he's never considered it, which he's tried to avoid thinking about until now because now any question, feeling, curiosity he may have had in the past, seems like it's coming back and he's not feeling so ashamed of it.
Fuck.
"I kiss Changmin every once in a while," Yoochun admits and Junsu's mouth opens.
"Really?" he then turns to Changmin who rolls his eyes again. "Are you guys secretly dating?" he asks.
Everyone seems to want to hear the answer to this.
"No."
"Yes."
"Why are you lying?"
"Ow! Stop denying our awesome cosmic chemistry!"
"Yoochun, ow! Don't pull my hair!"
"Let me out!"
Jaejoong's laughing and Yunho's shaking his head because they are utterly hopeless and completely ridiculous, it's good to know some things never change.
Junsu manages to wiggle free from the human pretzel and Jaejoong makes room for him on the bed. Yunho takes the opportunity to stretch his legs.
Changmin has Yoochun in a complicated wrestling move with his arm around his neck and his legs bent painfully.
"Tell them we're not dating," he threatens with a tighter clench of his arm.
Yoochun's laugh is cut off by a choke. "Why are you ashamed of it?" he scratches and finally manages to bite Changmin's arm which releases him and he breathes.
Changmin punches him in the back and Yoochun groans. "We're not together," he finalizes and Yoochun cackles.
Now that everything's settled down and Yoochun's breathing properly again Jaejoong clears his throat. "Are there any more questions?" he turns to Yunho and Yunho thinks.
"Why don't you kiss them?" he asks and Jaejoong smiles beautifully.
"Because it's not serious," he answers plainly and then looks at the rest of them. "No offense."
They shake their heads. "None taken." They say together.
Somehow, it's very sweet and Yunho smiles.
"Not that I'm not enjoying this, but who's hungry?" Jaejoong asks as he gets to his feet.
Changmin perks up, "I could eat."
"Let's go to dinner," Jaejoong suggests and slides his hands into his pockets, Changmin stands up and steps on Yoochun's back on his way off the bed.
Yoochun groans and Junsu helps him up. "Seriously, are you guys dating? It would make sense," he says quietly but Yunho can still hear them.
He laughs, "No, we're not. I like to mess with him," he answers and looks at Yunho who hasn't moved. "Are you coming?"
Yunho nods and moves the blankets aside. "Give me a second," he asks and they nod and leave.
He's looking for a pair of jeans to change into when the door opens again and Jaejoong comes in, letting the door close behind him with a soft click.
Yunho freezes for a moment, only half way in his jeans. Under different circumstances he wouldn't care that he's half naked and it's not like they haven't changed in front of each other before but now it's a little embarrassing, especially since he worries how his body will react… like it is now and he groans shoving his leg into the denim and turning around to zip up.
"How are you doing?" he asks pleasantly, keeping his spot by the door.
Yunho looks over his shoulder at him and clasps his button, pressing down on the rising tension of his crotch before he turns around quickly and sits to put some socks on.
"I'm fine," he finally answers and brings a foot up to the bed.
Jaejoong nods with a smile. "You're not disgusted with us, now that you know, actual sex is involved?" he wonders, before this conversation it was only hand and blow jobs to deal with.
Yunho thinks back on the time he clicked on a link that made a gay porn window pop up on his computer. He remembers being horrified. Now that he's found out some of the guys actually do it and seem ok with it, it's not as horrifying. "It's a lot to take in," he answers slowly and grabs his other sock, "but I'm ok," he tells Jaejoong who twists his lips and keeps smiling.
"You know, at first the thought of doing stuff with the guys was kinda weird," he says walking closer to the bed and Yunho watches him carefully. "but, trust is a really big deal and more than anything, I trust them. We trust each other," he says slowly, meeting his gaze and holding on to it. "I trust you too, Yunho," he adds and Yunho bites his lip as he finishes sliding his other sock on.
He stands up and is glad he's got nothing between his legs to be embarrassed about anymore, "I trust you too, Jaejoong," he tells him and it's completely honest.
He's always been the closest with Jaejoong, from the beginning. From the first moment they met, they clicked and the relationship has always been close. Closer than the rest of them, at least he thought so until recently.
What strikes him the most is that Jaejoong admits to not kissing the others. He remembers years ago, while they were still training and Jaejoong was crying because he thought they would never make it, he kissed him. He kissed him like a lover and Yunho kissed back. He lumped it with physical and emotional stress and never thought anything about it, but he always remembers. He'll always remember that night on the roof of the building that Jaejoong pulled him in and shared the most intimate moment of his life with him.
Yunho thinks now how vulnerable Jaejoong must have felt, to share something like that with him.
He moves towards Jaejoong and looks into his eyes, eyes that remind him of warmth, of safety. "Remember when you kissed me?" he asks him and Jaejoong blushes beautifully.
"I've never forgotten," he answers and looks away bashfully.
Yunho grabs him because he wants to touch him, fan-service aside, he's always loved Jaejoong the most. "I'll always trust you, Jaejoong," he tells him and hugs him, feeling warmth circulate beautifully inside his chest.
Jaejoong holds him tight and breathes into his neck, holding him so close he can feel his heartbeat. "Yunho," he whispers into his ear, "I'm glad you know," he presses tight and pulls away, looking at him, "and I'm here," he licks his lips, "for you, if you want," he smiles shyly and Yunho smiles because he knows exactly what he means.
"I know, Jaejoong," he grabs his hand and holds it tight.
He leads him to the door and Jaejoong holds him back for a second.
"The guys are wondering who you'll go to first," he warns him and Yunho sighs, of course they would. "Yoochun's good," he tells him, "and Changmin is a lot better than you'd think. Junsu wants to get it over with as soon as possible so it's sloppy and I'm-"
Yunho squeezes his hand. "You're gentle," he says and Jaejoong laughs. "Come on, we should go or they'll start to wonder," he smiles and Jaejoong nods dropping his hand to open the door.
"I'm also the best," he winks and Yunho feels the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
Yunho wakes up to sounds of Yoochun in Changmin's bed.
"You're so lame," he laughs trying his best to be quiet but the moan that escapes his lips next isn't so subtle. "Admit it," he breathes and Yunho clutches at the blanket.
"If you keep talking I'm kicking you out," Changmin whispers harshly and Yoochun chuckles. "They don't need to know everything," he mutters and Yunho thinks he's listening in on a very private moment between them.
"You lied today," Yoochun gasps and Yunho's toes curl. "You're going to Hell for that."
"If I'm going to Hell, it's not because I lied today, now shut up or you're going to take care of this on your own," he threatens and Yoochun laughs again, full of pleasure when Yunho's sure Changmin does something really good.
He doesn't know how he fell asleep especially with Yoochun making all sorts of inappropriate noises but he did and when he wakes up again they're still at it and he's completely aroused.
"Do. Do that again," Changmin rasps and Yunho groans. "Oh fuck. Wait. I think he's awake," he whispers.
"What?" comes Yoochun's voice.
"Yunho?" Changmin calls softly and Yunho throws the blankets off.
"Don't mind me," he says and sits up.
"Oh fuck," Yoochun whines and there's lots of movement in the bed.
Yunho stands up and heads for the door. "I'm just. Sorry," he opens the door. "Continue," he says as he leaves and closes the door behind him. He doesn't know what he's going to do about himself, so he heads to the bathroom only to run into Jaejoong coming out.
"Oh, shit. Yunho," he bumps into him and grabs his shoulders before they fall over. "What are you doing up?" he asks and then Yunho, to his horror, knows he feels it because the fingers around his shoulders tighten and Jaejoong looks down between them. "Yunho," he says softly and Yunho pulls away embarrassed.
Of all the fucking things that could happen.
Jaejoong looks up and bites his lip, "Um."
Yunho stumbles a bit and crosses his hands over himself. "Yoochun and Changmin," he explains as if it makes sense but Jaejoong eyes him questionably. "They were. You know," he clears his throat, "doing stuff."
It takes a moment but Jaejoong understands and nods. "You can stay in my room," he offers but his eyes are down and are looking right where they shouldn't be which only makes things worse. "I mean. If. If you want," he speaks to his crotch quite blatantly.
Yunho shifts uncomfortably and looks over at his room. If he goes back in he doesn't know if he'll manage to get any sleep. "Um, Junsu?" he asks and doesn't know why because he's perfectly aware Junsu normally passes out on the couch after playing video games.
Jaejoong looks down the hall. "He's asleep in the living room," he answers and reaches out, grabbing one of Yunho's hands, brushing against him and Yunho shudders. "Come on," he whispers and Yunho follows him willingly.
There are two beds, Jaejoong's and Yoochun's. Yunho, still unpleasantly aroused walks to Yoochun's bed and Jaejoong doesn't stop him. He turns the blankets over and slides in, curling his legs against his chest as he watches Jaejoong's silhouette in the darkness. He's graceful even in the dark and Yunho doesn't think it helps matters.
"Good night, Yunho," Jaejoong says and Yunho rolls to his back, he's glad the lights are off.
"Good night, Jaejoong," he answers and closes his eyes.
He tries his best to sleep.
He tries to ignore the tightness in his stomach.
He tries not to remember that in the other room Yoochun and Changmin are doing things that would help get rid of this problem.
Yunho doesn't hear him get out of bed and is completely unaware until he feels the covers lift and the bed dip as Jaejoong slides in beside him.
"Jaejoong," his voice catches in his throat and he tenses from head to toe. He feels him turn on his side.
"Shh," he moves in until his mouth is against his ear. "Let me help you, Yunho," he whispers and soon there's a hand, right on top of him, gripping him between the legs and Yunho takes a shaky breath that rattles through his entire body. "Relax," he instructs and moves his hand up slowly until it rests at the waist of his pants.
Yunho knows he's shaking and thinks Jaejoong may feel it as he moves the blankets aside. He climbs over him and settles between his legs and Yunho bites at his lip, stir crazy with excitement and horror and tension and everything else that could possibly make him faint.
He can hear his own heavy breathing as Jaejoong's hands pull his pants down, and clenches his eyes shut wondering what the fuck he's doing and how much he wants it, but fuck.
When he feels soft fingers touch him he gasps. "Wait!" he cries out and the hand moves away immediately. "Wait," he sits up suddenly and he can see Jaejoong on his knees between his exposed body, "I don't. I don't know."
"It's ok, Yunho," he speaks gently, "I don't have to do anything," he tells him and his voice is calm and filled with reassurance. "I just thought I could help," he finishes and begins to move away but Yunho takes another deep breath to steady his heart.
"Hold on," he clenches his hands against the sheet, "just, give me a second." He breathes some more.
And Jaejoong remains quiet and still and he can feel the deep penetration of his gaze. "Whatever you want, Yunho. I'm not going to do anything you don't want," he says gently, perfectly and so tenderly Yunho knows it's more than just needing to please himself.
After a moment, his fingers loosen around the bed clothes and he lies back down and closes his eyes. He can see Jaejoong's face and he's smiling at him, one of the millions they've shared before, of understanding and full of consideration and respect. "Ok," he swallows loudly and feels the bed dip carefully. "I trust you, Jaejoong," he says softly, to calm himself, to calm Jaejoong, but mostly to calm himself.
The moment he feels the soft press of a mouth over him, Yunho gasps and bites his lip to keep from crying out and surrenders.
Jaejoong is gentle and sweet and Yunho's fingers curl around his pillow as his tongue slides over him.
"Jaejoong-" he wheezes as he brings him close and clenches his eyes shut when he knows he's about to come.
In the morning Yunho wakes up alone and he can't remember when he had a better night's sleep. He also remembers he's not in his own bed. Quickly, he looks over and Jaejoong's bed is empty. He rubs at his eyes and blinks up at the ceiling.
He thinks back and feels himself flush when the images fall into his memory. He smiles and laughs for a moment, closing his eyes remembering what it felt like, how amazing it was, how different it felt. How much he enjoyed it and how grateful it was that Jaejoong was the one.
"You didn't have to," Yunho sighs blissfully melted against the sheets, his body still recovering from the euphoric release.
Jaejoong pulls his pants up and replaces the covers. "I wanted to," he says with a dark smile, he's about to get off the bed but Yunho grabs hold of his pant leg and gives it a little tug.
"I know it's not supposed to be serious," he says with heavy eyelids that beg for sleep. "But," he yawns and tugs at Jaejoong's pants again, "sleep here, I won't tell anyone."
Jaejoong chuckles softly, sweetly and crawls in next to him. He doesn't hug him, doesn't kiss him, just lies against him with their shoulders touching. "Yunho," he speaks quietly.
He yawns again, "Yeah?"
"We don't have to tell anyone about this if you don't want to," he turns on his side and Yunho looks over at him, opening his eyes.
"Ok," he says and for a moment wonders why it feels like Jaejoong wants to keep it a secret, but he's tired so he rolls onto his side and slides his arms around Jaejoong's back, pulling him close. "Thank you, Jaejoong," he whispers into his neck and falls asleep.
Yunho smiles for a moment a little proud of himself, he isn't the only one being left out anymore.
He throws the blankets off and looks at the clock. It's late and he walks out of the bedroom to find everyone in the kitchen. Yoochun is pouring himself a cup of coffee, when he sees him his eyes widen for a second.
"I'm sorry about last night," he apologizes immediately and Yunho shakes his head.
"It's ok," he smiles and pulls out a chair. Changmin and Junsu are trying to look at the same magazine and fighting on when to turn the page.
"Morning, Hyung," Changmin mutters, eyes on the printed sheets. Junsu looks up at him and his mouth falls open.
"You have a come face!" he shouts very loud and even points in amazement. "Shut the fuck up," he yells.
At this everyone looks up at Yunho and he blushes and does his best to ignore them. He eyes move to Jaejoong who is busy filling a plate of food for him.
"What!?" he can hear Yoochun cry out. He ignores him.
"Way to go, Hyung," Changmin laughs but Yunho continues to ignore them. When Jaejoong turns around and their eyes meet he smiles.
"Good morning, Yunho," Jaejoong says pleasantly and sets down a plate for him.
"Thank you, Jaejoong" he grins and shares his secret with a smile.
"Any time," Jaejoong grins and his eyes sparkle.
[Master Fic List]