TBBT 3.09 picspam: Sheldon & Penny scenes
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?
Sheldon: It's not about shoes, is it? I don't think I can go through that again.
Penny: It's not about shoes.
Sheldon: Then speak
Penny: Um. Actually, can we do it in private?
Sheldon: All right. (to Raj) Go away.
[Raj asks the silent question: WTF?]
Sheldon: I agree, it's rude, but she asked for privacy.
Penny: Okay, so here's the thing. I was wondering if you could maybe teach me a little Physics.
Sheldon: ... A 'little' Physics? There's no such thing. Physics encompasses the entire universe from quantum particles to supernovas, from spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.
Penny: Yeah. Okay. Cool. I don't need the PBS Special, I just want to know enough so I could talk to Leonard about his job. You know, like Bernadette does.
Sheldon: Why can't Leonard teach you?
Penny: 'Cause I want to surprise him.
Sheldon: Can't you surprise him some other way? For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback if you cleaned your apartment.
Penny: Come on, Sheldon, this is important to me.
Sheldon: Penny, this would be a massive undertaking, and my time is both limited and valuable.
Penny: You're sitting here playing video games all day.
Sheldon: ... Okay, point. What sort of foundation did you have? Did you take any science classes in school?
Penny: Sure. I did the one with the frogs.
Sheldon: ... The one with the frogs.
Penny: Yeah, actually it was pretty cool. A lot of the girls threw up, but I gutted that thing like a deer.
Sheldon: (exclaims in disgust) I'm sorry, Penny. I don't think so.
Penny: Oh, come on! A smart guy like you? It'll be a challenge. You could make it like an experiment.
Sheldon: (considers this) Interesting. I suppose if someone can teach sign language to Koko the gorilla, I could teach you some rudimentary Physics.
Penny: Great! It's a little insulting, but great! I'll be Koko.
Sheldon: Mm. Not likely. Koko learned to understand over 2,000 words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.
Sheldon: Research Journal, Entry One. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career: teaching Penny Physics. I'm calling it 'Project Gorilla.'
Penny: (entering) Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Come in, take a seat. (typing) Subject has arrived. I've extended a friendly casual greeting.
Penny: Ready to get started?
Sheldon: One moment. (typing) Subject appears well rested and enthusiastic. Apparently ignorance is bliss.
Sheldon: All right! Let us begin. Where's your notebook?
Penny: Um. I don't have one.
Sheldon: How are you going to take notes without a notebook?
Penny: I have to take notes?
Sheldon: How else are you going to study for the tests?
Penny: There's gonna be a test?
Sheldon: Tests. Here. (hands her a notebook) It's college ruled, I hope that's not too intimidating.
Penny: ... Thank you.
Sheldon: You're welcome.
Sheldon: Now, Introduction to Physics. What is Physics? Physics comes from the ancient Greek word 'Physika--' It's at this point that you'll want to start taking notes.
(Penny opens notebook)
Sheldon: Physika means the science of natural things, and it is there, in ancient Greece, that our story begins.
Penny: Ancient Greece?
Sheldon: Uh, should you have questions, raise your hand. (clears throat) It's a warm summer evening circa 600 BC. You've finished your shopping at the local market, or, agora... (signals to Penny her notebook. Penny writes) And you look up at the night sky. There you notice some of the stars seem to move, so you name them planetes, or wanderer. (signals to notebook again)
[Penny raises hand] Yes, Penny?
Penny: Um, does this have anything to do with Leonard's work?
Sheldon: This is the beginning of a 2600 year journey we're going to take together from the ancient Greeks through Isaac Newton to Niels Bohr to Irwin Schrodinger to the Dutch researchers that Leonard is currently ripping off.
Penny: 2600 years?
Sheldon: Eh, give or take. As I was saying, it's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece--
Penny: [raises hand]
Sheldon: Yes, Penny?
Penny: I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: Can't you hold it?
Penny: Not for 2600 years.
Sheldon: [Signals for her to go] (typing) Project Gorilla, entry two. I am exhausted.
Sheldon: Now remember, Newton realized that Aristotle was wrong and force was NOT necessary to maintain motion. So, let's plug in our 9.8 m/s squared as 'A' and we get force (earth gravity) = mass x 9.8 meters per second per second. So, we can see that ma = mg, and what do we know from this?
Penny: ... Um... We know that... Newton was a really smart cookie. OH! Is that where Fig Newtons come from?
Sheldon: No. Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts. No, don't write that down!
Penny: Sorry.
Sheldon: Now, if ma = mg, what does that imply?
Penny: I don't know.
Sheldon: How can you not know?! I just told you! Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
Penny: Heeey, you don't have to be so mean!
Sheldon: I'm sorry. (with creepy smile) Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
Penny: NO, you just suck at teaching.
Sheldon: Really. Of those two explanations, which one seems the most likely?
Penny: Sheldon, I'm trying to understand, but you're going too fast. Can you just back up a little bit?
Sheldon: All right. [Sheldon sits] It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece--
Penny: UGH! NOT THAT FAR BACK!
Sheldon: Okay! At what point did you begin to feel lost?
Penny: I don't know. Where were we looking up at the night sky?
Sheldon: Greece.
Penny: Damn it!
Sheldon: Look, there's no need to get frustrated. People learn at different rates. Unlike objects falling in a vacuum, whiiich...?
Penny: (open-mouthed silence)
Sheldon: ma = mg...?
Penny: Squared?
Sheldon: No.
Penny: Aristotle?
Sheldon: No.
Penny: ...Five?
Sheldon: No!
Penny: Ohhh then I don't know. (Penny cries)
Sheldon: ... Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.
Penny: Look, can we just please forget about all this extra stuff and can you just tell me what Leonard does.
Sheldon: Alright. Leonard is attempting to learn why subatomic particles move the way they do.
Penny: Really? That's it? Well that doesn't sound so complicated.
Sheldon: It's not. That's why Leonard does it.
Penny: Okay, I just have one question. What exactly are subatomic particles?
Sheldon: A good question!
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: And to answer it, we first must ask ourselves, 'What is Physics?--'
Penny: Oh, balls.
Sheldon: It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece...
Bernadette: Raj, you should have seen Leonard's experiment. The interference pattern was so cool when the electron beam was on.
Leonard: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Most people aren't that interested in what I do.
[Penny and Sheldon share a look. Sheldon nods to her.]
Penny: (clears throat) Actually, that's not true, Leonard. In fact, recently I've been thinking that given the parameters of your experiment, the transport of electrons through the aperture of the nano-fabricated metal rings is qualitatively no different than the experiment already conducted in the Netherlands. Their observed phase shift in the diffusing electrons inside the metal ring already conclusively demonstrated the electric analogue of the Ahronov-Bohm quantum interference effect.
[Sheldon and Penny share another look.]
Penny: ... That's it, that's all I know. (pause) Oh wait! Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist.
[Penny grins triumphantly as Sheldon glares.]
I really really hope that the writers figure out that Sheldon/Penny scenes are always the best.