Unstable stupidity. Don't worry; I'll be normal tomorrow.

[italiansushi]

Gah. Blah. Grumble.

I am down. I know I only have myself to blame, I haven't gone to the gym in weeks, and I know that if I don't keep an exercise routine my world eventually crumbles in on itself. :/

Comments

[yirimyah]

I hate that I can get this vulnerable and needy. I hate that in social situations I am aloof and all over the place, no one ever sees the real me. Not on purpose.

[italiansushi]

?

[yirimyah]

This is equally applicable to me, of course.

[italiansushi]

Just to clarify; "Not on purpose" refers to myself. As in, I don't let them see the real me, but this isn't intentional on my part.

also

[yirimyah]

silly, petty, illogical
Were it any of these things you wouldn't have written it and you surely wouldn't have posted it.

I don't know. Pain is part of relationships. Without a friend having committed a wrong, how could I know whether I would forgive them were they to do so? The extreme situation shows the true state of things, it is the test of the relationship. Having done this, do you still want me? Having done that, do I still want you? And it puts other things in perspective, knowing that your relationship has survived much worse intact.

[thesaurosie]

You have the right to express yourself and you deserve the best. I don't think you're just part of the group.

I hope that the damage done by these 'betraying' friends can be resolved or healed.

(not trying to steal the show but) I'm sorry if any of this could have been prevented by me getting off my arse and giving [you, an important example of] my friends real attention and respect.

Can I see you sometime?

x

[italiansushi]

It's me that has been doing the letting down recently hun. And no, you don't have to worry you are beautiful and sweet and lovely :] But I'd still like to see you sometime :) Xx.

[thesaurosie]

*phew*

I don't udnerstand uni timetables, how is yours?

[thesaurosie]

oh ps I totally stole your xkcd comic ;)

[anonymous]

Well, you were a bitch.

[anonymous]

I can't seem to find the one i made a while back (must have been lost on my old comp) but here is one i found recently on the same thoughts...

Behind My Mask

They think they know me all so well,
But behind this mask I secretly dwell.
I hide my thoughts, my feelings too,
I hide so well from all of you.

I smile away the tears that fall,
I show no sign of weakness at all.
I hide behind an empty screen,
I’m different inside, not what I seem.

My hurt and tears get locked away,
And forever behind this mask they'll stay.
No matter how hard they try to escape,
I’ll hide away all my mistakes.

I hide me well, every day,
Forever in disguise I’ll stay.
I’ll smile away the tears that fall,
I’ll show no sign of weakness at all.

Zoe Howarth