Comments | issendai: Thoughts on the tenacity of sick systems

issendai

Thoughts on the tenacity of sick systems

Jun 22, 2010 19:35

Sick systems are solid. It's amazing. They act like they're on the verge of perpetual collapse, but they go on and on--two-thirds of the employees leave, the abuser's wife divorces him and two of the three kids go no-contact, and the system rolls on unaffected. As long as there's a single other person to support the founding member of the sick ( Read more... )

sick systems

Comments 14

caprine June 23 2010, 01:06:45 UTC

Thank you for posting this. Your insight continues to be very educational.

issendai June 23 2010, 05:44:40 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you're finding it useful. And happy birthday!

aerynvale June 23 2010, 03:54:17 UTC

Kind of tempted to send this to my dad. c.c

issendai June 23 2010, 05:45:35 UTC

Ack and agh. I'm sorry he's caught in this kind of bind.

rovanda June 23 2010, 11:25:29 UTC

I did always used to wonder how that place stayed in business...

64tbird June 23 2010, 13:12:03 UTC

You are F-ing brilliant. I am so glad I was pointed at this blog.

I sent it onto a friend who was just getting ensnared in a sick system, and she was okay with the level it was at ... until the manager of the sick system pushed just that little bit harder.

It cost my friend a few hundred dollars, but I think she's counting it as educational cost.

You articulate things most of us try stumblingly to express - for that I thank you.

miocaro June 23 2010, 16:10:28 UTC

I got out of a relationship of this type, and I know I'm better off for it. He replaced me, before I even fully left, with a woman who is freakishly similar to me, and marred her 9 months later. I in no way want to go back to that, but I do find myself wondering if he really fixed his issues after I left--did my leaving spur him on to do that? If his issues are fixed, why was he not able to do that with me? I don't think that he's any mentally healthier than he was and that he really just found himself a much younger woman who will be less able to see how nuts he is and married her before things went sour at the point they previously always tended to in his relationships. But I still have a lot of jealousy and confusion regarding other feelings I have about him and our relationship. How do you work through all that when you get out?

kitan June 26 2010, 03:40:19 UTC

Part of it is accepting that the only thing that might have triggered change was you leaving. If you hadn't left, nothing would have changed. After all, you'd have proved that as long as they said the right things or shaped up for a little while you'd stay. The odds are depressingly that you leaving didn't trigger a significant change, either ( ... )