last part of the 10 part meme: a confession

[issahla]

I don't feel like I have much to "confess". Confession implies a secret guilt about things done wrong or invoking embarrassment. I have secrets about which I'm not particularly guilty. They don't need confession. They are secret, or rather private, for a reason. I feel guilty about things, but they aren't secret. I've done numerous things

Comments

[nidea]

I hear you there! Today we were at the Children's Museum about 10 minutes too long -- I noticed K's tiredness but didn't have it in my head to act on it fast enough. Good thing she de-tantrumed enough in the foyer to get her coat on...

[issahla]

The Children's Museum is Overstimulation Heaven. C waited until we were in the car to melt down. Still, it was awesome and we'll go again.

Your analytical approach is refreshing.

[quincidence]

thank you for sharing this.
You just explained so many things that I (as a non-parent) didn't understand, but can understand the fractile yet dual focus thought process.
this does in fact make sense, and I am grateful you shared this for several reasons.
Some are that with this explanation that a friend of mine I oft meet for coffee, couldn't explain, I now realize why she is so distracted sometimes. She doesn't multifocus or bi-focus well and having a child is splitting her more than she knows how to do.

Your analytical approach is refreshing.

Re: Your analytical approach is refreshing.

[issahla]

I recall that you expressed annoyance with people who say, "you just don't understand because you don't have kids!". While it's a thoughtless way to phrase things, it's true that there is a difference. The difference is difficult to articulate and, I think, has to be experienced to be understood. I don't think a person is better or worse for having experienced it. It's a trade off.

I sympathize with your irritation with parents who are distracted even when the kids aren't around, and wonder why they can't bother to be HERE when you are setting aside time for them. I remember the frustration before I had the boy. I try to be mindful of it when I'm hanging out with non-parents, but am not always successful. Stupid evolutionary drive to protect the offspring changing my brain chemistry!

Re: Your analytical approach is refreshing. & was a gracious gift as well

[quincidence]

you are right. hands down, until or if I ever have kids then I will understand, but until then... I won't. But now... I finally have an understanding that makes me compassionate. That is what I was trying to convey.
Your explanation, was a gift of explanation.
I remember blogging about my fragmented experience of how to deal with OCD or PTSD and how leaving the house is an ordeal.... it should have, but never fully occurred to me that having a child is having to check everything twice, for safety and other lessons, concerns, issues etc... and yes, does require a new set of world awareness skills.

WOW, your few words here... make it make so much sense.

I thank you for sharing this, because now I am likely to be more compassionate and understanding as well as forgiving to those that are distracted and/or as you put it, reprogrammed.
I (as already stated) understand being reprogrammed by external concerns, and THAT, makes perfect sense to me. dang brain chemistry indeed.

[martinezifa]

I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.