50 Ways to Tell Your Fandom is Screwed Up...
Brainstormed by myself, kileaiya and
andacus...
Rated R for ridiculously pervy thoughts...
1 - You get excited that there are three whole het fics for your favorite character for the day, and only two of them are incest
2 - You read the incest ones anyhow and like them
3 - You think to yourself "pfft, that's not really incest. they're only cousins."
4 - Your fandom warns for canon pairings
5 - Your fandom warns for het and slash
6 - OT3 is no longer considered on the fringe of the fandom... nor is OT4 or OT5...
7 - It's debated if it's actually beastiality since it's really only an animagus
8. Twincest is part of your vocabulary
9. You are okay with twincest being part of your vocabulary
10. You no longer read fan fics and think to yourself "people actually do that?"
11. You start laughing if people use words such as nub, nuts, willy, mounds, or johnson in real life
12. You have come to terms with the fact that most of the wizarding world is gay
13. You fully understand and accept that being magical automatically adds at least three inches to any penis and reduces any waistline by the same amount.. And also, makes anal sex completely pain free even for virgins
14. 90% of fics are NC17 and you're glad... even though you vaguely remember buying the actual books in the children's section of your local Border's.
15. You generally accept that magical diseases, such as lycanthropy, have the sexy side-effects of stamina, girth and rampantly active bisexuality
16. You are completely comfortable with the concept of a giant and a regular person having sex.
17. You are completely comfortable with the concept of anyone and the giant squid having sex
18. You read a fic for another fandom and wonder why they didn't use a contraceptive spell until you remember that magic, in fact, isn't actually real
19. You idly wonder what the house elves get up to in the kitchens
20. You know what house elves get up to in the kitchens because you've looked at
smut_wednesday before
21. House Elf slash is normal
22. So is Mrs/ Norris/Crookshanks
23. There is nothing even remotely strange about voeuyeristic cats
24. Like gender - age differences, marital status and sexual preference no longer matter whatsoever in the smut you read
25. You have no qualms about using a broomstick in sexual adventures
26. Talking paintings suddenly become an extremely useful accessory in stories
27. Horny ghosts are useful to your plot
28. Non-horny ghosts, however, are not useful to your plot
29. The more OOC your characters get, the better
30. The lubrication spell might as well be canon
31. Self inserts are acceptable
32. When you reread the actual books you keep waiting for "the good part" ...
33. Invisibility Cloaks are always better when used for kink
34. Your wand is not only good for spell casting
35. The Common Room is just a code term for Orgy
36. You accept that 4-5 orgasms is common place in the wizarding world
37. You turn on Showtime after midnight and still the fics you read are dirtier
38. You watch a porno and scoff thinking
millieweasley wrote it way better than that
39. Interhouse unity takes on a whole new meaning
40. So does 'catching the Golden Snitch'
41. You've never ever seen the astronomy tower ever talked about being used for astronomy... but it sure is in a lot of fics...
42. The dungeons are often used for recreational purposes
43. You mentally cue porno music any time a character walks into detention
44. The pairing of mortal enemies and or students and teachers does not phase you
45. It's obvious to you that Sirius and Remus were lovers after they hugged like brothers since you've read fics about what Sirius did with his actual brother...
46. You can no longer read fics where the line "Hello professor" is written with a straight face
47. When you're reading the actual books and they go into the Room of Requirement you wonder why they still have all their clothes on
48. You are convinced that the Quidditch Changing rooms are used for orgies only, the books lie
49. Sex on brooms is NOT unbelievable
and
50 All your kinks are okay!
andacus...
Rated R for ridiculously pervy thoughts...
1 - You get excited that there are three whole het fics for your favorite character for the day, and only two of them are incest
2 - You read the incest ones anyhow and like them
3 - You think to yourself "pfft, that's not really incest. they're only cousins."
4 - Your fandom warns for canon pairings
5 - Your fandom warns for het and slash
6 - OT3 is no longer considered on the fringe of the fandom... nor is OT4 or OT5...
7 - It's debated if it's actually beastiality since it's really only an animagus
8. Twincest is part of your vocabulary
9. You are okay with twincest being part of your vocabulary
10. You no longer read fan fics and think to yourself "people actually do that?"
11. You start laughing if people use words such as nub, nuts, willy, mounds, or johnson in real life
12. You have come to terms with the fact that most of the wizarding world is gay
13. You fully understand and accept that being magical automatically adds at least three inches to any penis and reduces any waistline by the same amount.. And also, makes anal sex completely pain free even for virgins
14. 90% of fics are NC17 and you're glad... even though you vaguely remember buying the actual books in the children's section of your local Border's.
15. You generally accept that magical diseases, such as lycanthropy, have the sexy side-effects of stamina, girth and rampantly active bisexuality
16. You are completely comfortable with the concept of a giant and a regular person having sex.
17. You are completely comfortable with the concept of anyone and the giant squid having sex
18. You read a fic for another fandom and wonder why they didn't use a contraceptive spell until you remember that magic, in fact, isn't actually real
19. You idly wonder what the house elves get up to in the kitchens
20. You know what house elves get up to in the kitchens because you've looked at
smut_wednesday before
21. House Elf slash is normal
22. So is Mrs/ Norris/Crookshanks
23. There is nothing even remotely strange about voeuyeristic cats
24. Like gender - age differences, marital status and sexual preference no longer matter whatsoever in the smut you read
25. You have no qualms about using a broomstick in sexual adventures
26. Talking paintings suddenly become an extremely useful accessory in stories
27. Horny ghosts are useful to your plot
28. Non-horny ghosts, however, are not useful to your plot
29. The more OOC your characters get, the better
30. The lubrication spell might as well be canon
31. Self inserts are acceptable
32. When you reread the actual books you keep waiting for "the good part" ...
33. Invisibility Cloaks are always better when used for kink
34. Your wand is not only good for spell casting
35. The Common Room is just a code term for Orgy
36. You accept that 4-5 orgasms is common place in the wizarding world
37. You turn on Showtime after midnight and still the fics you read are dirtier
38. You watch a porno and scoff thinking
millieweasley wrote it way better than that
39. Interhouse unity takes on a whole new meaning
40. So does 'catching the Golden Snitch'
41. You've never ever seen the astronomy tower ever talked about being used for astronomy... but it sure is in a lot of fics...
42. The dungeons are often used for recreational purposes
43. You mentally cue porno music any time a character walks into detention
44. The pairing of mortal enemies and or students and teachers does not phase you
45. It's obvious to you that Sirius and Remus were lovers after they hugged like brothers since you've read fics about what Sirius did with his actual brother...
46. You can no longer read fics where the line "Hello professor" is written with a straight face
47. When you're reading the actual books and they go into the Room of Requirement you wonder why they still have all their clothes on
48. You are convinced that the Quidditch Changing rooms are used for orgies only, the books lie
49. Sex on brooms is NOT unbelievable
and
50 All your kinks are okay!