FIC: Aurally Inspired: ‘Ever the same’, PG 13, Part I
Title: ‘Ever The Same’
Author: Isi
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Challenge: Aurally Inspired
Summary: Angst, random strangeness, and flashbacks to Marauders Era, after-scenes of battle. Realisation and similarities.
Disclaimer: Characters and familiar details belong to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury and the respective copyright owners. I’m not making money from them and don’t intend to.
Warnings: Dead characters talking, battle aftermath, some perhaps abrupt switching of point of view that, I hope, explains itself. Oh and fluff, can’t forget the fluff. I’m also still wearing my slash/fanfic L-plates so criticism/feedback greatly appreciated. My first snupin!
Notes: (word count for this part: 2082) Beta'd by the wonderful
villainslair who put up with my filthy comma perversion. Inspired by the song ‘Ever The Same’ by Rob Thomas, which was posted by
krissybl. The particular lyrics to reference are:
“We were drawn from the reeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like someone broken
And I couldn’t tell you
But I’m telling you now”
And
“Forever it’s you
Forever in me
Ever the same”
Look.
Well, ok …this might be trickier than I thought.
I’m pointing at Remus y’see, but well, you can’t …‘see’ that is - and herein lies our problem.
I’m asking you to just believe me, no matter how strange it sounds - not in the wider sense of the word you understand, because what you believe is totally up to you. Please, just go along with me, I’ll make it easy on you… promise.
I’ll explain shall I? Well, I’m a little bit …umm, dead (It was quite a shock for me too, I can tell you). And hence, you can’t see me, but I am here and I’ve been put in charge of showing you this part of the story.
But before I do that, I just have to ask, why the hell are you reading about Remus and Snape? Remus I can understand, he’s a top fella, good-looking for a bloke, I suppose, but Snape? Jesus. There are stories out there about me y’know. Not that I’m being conceited or anything.
Pfft, this really isn’t going to work, I’m batting my eyelashes at you and you can’t even see. So… Fuck it, on with the story.
~*~
It didn’t end with a bang.
That was the first thought Remus had upon waking. He couldn’t remember exactly what he’d been doing at the time, just recalled the eerie silence descending on the grounds that seemed to sweep in across the lake flooding the lawns of the school, filling his lungs and enveloping everything and everyone until all the cries, moans, and shouts were drowned in the still calm. The only thing to be heard was a distant, hissing sound on the very edge of reality. Then the words came, as clear as day: ‘Avada Kedavra.’ There wasn’t a blinding flash of light or a brilliant, dazzling wand display. Just blackness.
“Harry …Harry?”
Remus blearily lifted his face from the mud and looked towards the source of the noise. Ron was helping a limping Hermione over the small hillock in front of him.
“Remus, are you alright? Have you seen Harry?” She looked as bad as he felt.
“No-”
“Expelliarmus!”
She may have been injured but her reflexes were better than Remus’ at the moment. The Death Eater Remus had been tackling had just awoken behind him. Quickly, Remus got to his feet, not having time to notice how the world wobbled and swayed. He placed the binding charms on the prisoner… hopefully he was a prisoner, If not, he was most likely the very, very pissed off future torturer/executioner of one Remus J. Lupin.
“Did you see what happened?” he asked the pair, wiping the sweat and dirt from his eyes. Ron shook his head; he looked down at Hermione’s arm, which seemed to be hanging at a painful angle.
“Keep looking… Wait. Hermione.” He tried to jog towards her and realised that one of his legs didn’t want to co-operate. No pain, just numbness, which he suspected was due to a blow to the back. That would hurt like hell tomorrow if, indeed, there were going to be one. He settled for hobbling, quickly casting a pain relieving charm on her.
“Be careful,” he warned before they separated to comb the lawns. Briefly he contemplated catching them up but thought better of it. It was a little late to be worrying about the youngsters protecting themselves, all things considered. Slowly he made his way around the lake in the direction of the castle.
"Petrificus Totalus” He had spoken the spell before he had fully taken in the situation. The motionless frame of Bellatrix Lestrange twitched for an instance then went rigid. Lifting her chin from the mud, he examined her briefly. She had always been an attractive woman, he’d thought so ever since Sirius had shown him her picture. Somehow, here like this, she had an almost ethereal, unnatural beauty. Long black hair tumbled over his hands, her face deathly pale except for the trickle of red from her mouth. Remus exhaled audibly, his hands trembling.
~*~
I’ve never understood him fully, that’s a strange thing to say isn’t it? For a man who I called my best friend… He was my best friend for a long time and my second best friend for a long time before that and yes; I understood his lycanthropy. I understood why sometimes he’d let us get away with things we shouldn’t. Christ, I even understood him being a raging arse bandit - eventually - but him actually liking Snape? I don’t think I’d ever have understood it. Not while I was alive. Now of course, I see things a little differently - having no actual eyes or brain matter to speak of will do that to a bloke.
~*~
Something different, a distortion in the world, ripples in the air, displaced by the movement of another body.
Mine.
Moony sniffed deep. Oh that scent! Something warm and familiar: the musk, the apprehension, the excitement.
Want.
Faint, light scrambling noises.
Closer. Come. Mine. Want. Touch. Taste. Now.
~*~
He looked down at the red smear across his left palm. His arms hurt just holding them up but he didn’t think about that. In his right hand were the remnants of a thick woollen cloak. As it fell from his grasp, the garish stain that marred the clean, white lining glared up at him, taunting him accusingly. With his own blood treacherously pounding a deep rhythm in his ears, he stood transfixed and numb as the headlights of his greatest fear came hurtling towards him.
No.
He ran as best as his trembling legs would allow back along the tunnel. Whose cloak was it? Sirius? James? Peter? He might have asked himself these questions had be been capable, instead he just ran. His mind similarly running - repeating the silent mantra, ‘please gods, no.’
By the time he burst through the infirmary doors his chest felt as though Hagrid had been using him as a punch bag. Poppy turned, alarmed at the bang. She wasn’t expecting Remus for another half an hour or so.
“What did I do?” he panted as his eyes snapped to the small, still form in the bed closest to the window. The woman bustled, but before she could stop him or give him an answer he was at the bedside. All that was visible was a crown of shining jet-black hair.
“Who is it?” he asked, again not waiting for an answer before he gently pulled back the bed sheets expecting James or Sirius.
“I’ve given him a sleeping draught, he’ll be out for quite a while.” Poppy laid a hand on his shoulder, “He’ll be ok.” She added, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze of assurance, but Remus didn’t respond, he just stared in numb shock at the sleeping boy.
Severus was huddled so small it was hard to believe that when he unfurled he was nearly as tall as Sirius. He seemed as pale as the crisp white cotton of the infirmary sheets, heightened by the black tendrils of hair that fell across them in contrast. The glorious monochrome broken by those lips; flushed red from the cocoon of his sun-warmed blankets. Those lips. Remus’ hands that still clung to the bed sheet began to shake.
“Come on,” said Poppy, “we should check you over - that arm looks nasty.”
Her words snapped him from the memory. Replacing the bed sheets carefully he turned and shook his head, not quite meeting her gaze.
“What happened?”
He sounded calm but he felt far from that, chancing a glance down to her from behind his hair.
“What was he doing at the shack?” his last words were barely audible.
“I don’t know,” she said softly, the image of pity and understanding. The last thing Remus wanted or felt he deserved was pity and understanding.
“The headmaster will want to speak to you though, he’s had words with your friends and with Severus here.” She smiled up at him again, before bustling away, thankfully not drawing attention to the fat tear that rolled down his cheek from beneath his fringe.
~*~
I was there when Dumbledore explained what had happened to Remus. When I wasn’t looking at my shoes and managed to actually look Remus in the eye, I saw it. He wanted to rip me to shreds …figuratively. He never did. He wasn’t the type to shout and scream and argue for no reason but after that he didn’t even argue when there was a reason.
I’ll admit it: I was an idiot - god that was hard. But he was kissing him for fuck sake. My (second) best friend and my …arch nemesis! It wasn’t a quickie either, oh no; it was all slow and tender like there should have been a priest and a best man in attendance and a stupid, fat, little toddler with rings on a pillow…
I went from not knowing what to think to just not thinking at all.
Don’t go shouting at me, I’ve done enough of that myself. I knew what I’d done was stupid, and I apologised a thousand times but never once did he take the bait - he didn’t want to let Moony out more than he absolutely had to.
Afterwards, you’d think I’d go easier on Snape wouldn’t you? But you didn’t see him. God, the way he looked at Remus afterwards, it just made me hate the greasy, little prick even more.
Dumbledore said the other day, “Remus is a strong, brave and noble young man. The nature of his condition, and the subsequent effects lead others to judge him harshly.” - He was right y’know.
You want to know something? Until that stint in Azkaban, I thought Karma was a kind of curry.
~*~
Remus would have checked for a pulse but he realised that he shouldn’t care whether she had one or not. Far better people than Bellatrix Lestrange had died in this war, by her hand, even by Remus’ own. As he stooped to let her down, large dark eyes opened causing him to halt, an eerie smile played about her lips.
“He w-”
Remus let her drop and cast a strong binding charm before turning to walk away. He had no wish to hear any words of wisdom she would wish to depart, though when she didn’t continue he turned back towards her, silently cursing himself that any part of him should show concern. The resigned smile was still firmly in place but her eyes had closed.
With a sigh he walked on. The gradient of the hill had lessened somewhat to allow him a good vantage point to survey the land. The fog that had rolled in earlier wasn’t aiding his search but he could make out various blurry shapes he assumed to be people trudging up the bank. Everyone, Death Eaters and Order members alike seemed to be drawn to the beacon of the school doors. He could make out the small frame of what he thought was Tonks, the closest of the blurs, helping a much broader, limping, figure.
“Harry!” Someone had shouted. The call seemed to be coming from his left, over towards the stone grave marker, the last physical reminder of the headmaster. It was difficult to discern where the call's origin as the word echoed, bouncing off looming darkness of the forest beyond and the very air around him. He made his way slowly in what he thought was the general direction of the voice, stumbling occasionally. There was still a lack feeling in his leg, and now his back was starting to ache. He halted abruptly when he felt the dense crunch of flesh sliding underfoot. Something long and… Gods, it’s the snake. The horcrux.
It was dark to begin with but the shadows of the tall, imposing trees would have made it impossible to see a thing had it not been for the pale light allowed by the moon. Remus had trodden on Nagini’s tail about a foot from its end. He followed along the serpent’s still body as it curled around the stone pedestal. He pointed his wand ahead of him, hoping desperately that both pet and master were no longer able to do any damage. Then he saw the body.
…Please gods No.
PART TWO