DRABBLE: Lost Battles

[ishonn]

Title: Lost Battles
Rating: G
Characters: R/S
Era: MWPP at Hogwarts
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: I disclaim.
A/N: Written for the challenge Defeat in sirius_remus100

“Sirius, it wasn’t-”

“Don’t”.

Sirius throws his Beater’s bat on the ground. His shoulders are hunched as he looks after the retreating backs of the Slytherins, silver-green flags high in the air. Behind them

Comments

[magda2em]

What amazes me most about your piece is the amount of feelings of three different people you managed to squeeze in only 100 words. We've got one very much dejected James, we've got one very angry Sirius, and one very wolfy trying-to-help Remus. Defeat times three. I really like the way Remus behaves here. The sentence "Remus tries again" is probably my favourite, next to this one: "Moony, I'm-".

Great job! Thank you very much for sharing it :)

[ishonn]

Thanks so much! You know I love detailed reviews. I'm particularly glad you could feel strong emotions in this piece.

But what could you possibly mean by 'wolfy'? And I'm not sure if I understand correctly: you think that Remus suffers a defeat here, too?

[magda2em]

The case with Remus in your piece, at least for me, that he's not suffering a defeat at the moment depicted in your drabble. For him it's more general. As you said - he loses his battle once a month. Hence "wolfy" - to point out that Remus's defeat is not the lost Quidditch match; for Remus it goes deeper into what he truly is. So, in a way, we do have three defeats.

[ishonn]

Ah, then it seems I understood you all right, I just wanted to make sure. The casualness of 'wolfy' misled me, I expect.

Yes, I absolutely agree about the third defeat and its nature. I'm glad it all worked well for you. Once again thank you for the feedback! &hearts