To Drink from the Waters of Lethe
Jack makes a realization. Again. (Jack/Daniel)
This was remixed in the 2007 gateverse_remix challenge. The resulting fic, Or Else This Is a Dream by green_grrl, is completely awesome and a pretty much perfect complement.
"It's a stupid idea, General," Jack O'Neill offered, slouching back, hands laced behind his head, feet propped up on the briefing room table.
Daniel's gaze flicked up briefly before dropping again; he had spent the briefing silent and motionless. No one else acknowledged the interruption. General Hammond continued as if Jack hadn't spoken: "If there are no other comments, I will relay our answer to the Tok'ra. Dismissed."
They stood to leave, Daniel more slowly than the others. Jack said, "Hey, Carter," and she walked by him without comment. "Teal'c?" Again nothing, and Jack turned to Daniel and said, "Okay, does everyone hate me?"
Daniel at least looked at him, face tight and pale, and then shoved his hands in his pockets and walked by.
Jack followed. "Look, you could at least tell me what's going on." When that got no response, he finally lost his temper, and sighed loudly. "Goddammit, Daniel," he said, and reached for Daniel's arm to stop him.
His fingers passed right through.
Jack stared at his fingers in disbelief, rubbing them together. Daniel stopped, head turned, looking at the place on his arm that Jack's fingers had passed through. Very quietly, he said, "You're dead, Jack."
"Am not," Jack said immediately, and then frowned at his hand. "...am I?"
Daniel looked at him somberly, and then went into his office. Jack followed, not noticing that the door had closed immediately behind Daniel. "Talk to me," he said.
"What day is it?" Daniel asked, without turning around.
Jack opened his mouth to reply, and then realized that he couldn't. "It's. Uh."
"What did you have for breakfast?"
Jack didn't even bother to try answering.
"Is your heart beating?"
"Of cou--" Jack stopped, feeling for a pulse that wasn't there.
Daniel whispered, "I'm sorry, Jack, I'm so, so sorry."
Jack looked at his hand again, clenching it into a fist and releasing it again. "Maybe it's not," he said. "Maybe it's something else--"
Daniel whirled, eyes glittering with tears and anger. "God, Jack, don't you get it? You're. Dead. I saw you die. We -- Sam and Teal'c and I. We were there, and we brought the body back. There's no trick, no way around it, no escape clause." He was trembling, pale and desperate and angry. "Can't you ever remember that?"
"Oh," Jack said, and then hesitated. "...'ever'?"
There was an awkward pause, as Daniel's face shuttered again. "It's nothing."
Slowly, Jack said, "Daniel, have we had this conversation before?"
Daniel nodded, jerkily, like an unwilling puppet.
"How many times?"
Daniel stared at him, and then a small, humorless smile tigged at the edges of his mouth. "I thought I was going crazy, the first time. No one else saw you, no one else heard you, and you were just..."
"How many times?"
"It doesn't matter."
Jack shook his head, but what he said was, "Why am I here? Why can you see me and no one else? Why do I feel like I should be alive? Why can't I remember? Why does--"
Daniel held up one hand. "I don't know; we never were able to figure it out, any of the times. I guess you just... I don't know. I don't know. But I'm the only one that can see you, and it's always here, on base. Nowhere else."
"Oh," Jack said. "...how many times?"
Daniel stayed silent.
"Daniel," Jack said awkwardly, after a moment, "there's, uh... something... I should have told you before, but... there's something I need to say... uh..."
Quietly, Daniel said, "I know."
"You-- oh. I, uh, told you before? the other times?"
"Yes."
"And?"
Eyes closed, voice almost inaudible, Daniel said, "I do too."
"I'm sorry," Jack said.
"Don't."
"I wish..."
"Don't."
Jack nodded in understanding, and then leaned forward, brushing one hand along the line of Daniel's jaw. His fingers drifted through, and where they touched Daniel's flesh it felt like brushing through gauze. Hesitantly, Jack leaned forward. Their lips met, and it wasn't so much gauze as fire, and Daniel gasped and leaned forward. His tears felt like ice where they touched Jack's skin.
"Daniel," Jack whispered.
"Don't," Daniel said quietly.
Jack nodded and sat back, and then realized that the office was darker than it had been. Daniel...
And then he was gone, and Daniel's hands clenched into tight fists, and his head dropped down, and he wept.
This was remixed in the 2007 gateverse_remix challenge. The resulting fic, Or Else This Is a Dream by green_grrl, is completely awesome and a pretty much perfect complement.
"It's a stupid idea, General," Jack O'Neill offered, slouching back, hands laced behind his head, feet propped up on the briefing room table.
Daniel's gaze flicked up briefly before dropping again; he had spent the briefing silent and motionless. No one else acknowledged the interruption. General Hammond continued as if Jack hadn't spoken: "If there are no other comments, I will relay our answer to the Tok'ra. Dismissed."
They stood to leave, Daniel more slowly than the others. Jack said, "Hey, Carter," and she walked by him without comment. "Teal'c?" Again nothing, and Jack turned to Daniel and said, "Okay, does everyone hate me?"
Daniel at least looked at him, face tight and pale, and then shoved his hands in his pockets and walked by.
Jack followed. "Look, you could at least tell me what's going on." When that got no response, he finally lost his temper, and sighed loudly. "Goddammit, Daniel," he said, and reached for Daniel's arm to stop him.
His fingers passed right through.
Jack stared at his fingers in disbelief, rubbing them together. Daniel stopped, head turned, looking at the place on his arm that Jack's fingers had passed through. Very quietly, he said, "You're dead, Jack."
"Am not," Jack said immediately, and then frowned at his hand. "...am I?"
Daniel looked at him somberly, and then went into his office. Jack followed, not noticing that the door had closed immediately behind Daniel. "Talk to me," he said.
"What day is it?" Daniel asked, without turning around.
Jack opened his mouth to reply, and then realized that he couldn't. "It's. Uh."
"What did you have for breakfast?"
Jack didn't even bother to try answering.
"Is your heart beating?"
"Of cou--" Jack stopped, feeling for a pulse that wasn't there.
Daniel whispered, "I'm sorry, Jack, I'm so, so sorry."
Jack looked at his hand again, clenching it into a fist and releasing it again. "Maybe it's not," he said. "Maybe it's something else--"
Daniel whirled, eyes glittering with tears and anger. "God, Jack, don't you get it? You're. Dead. I saw you die. We -- Sam and Teal'c and I. We were there, and we brought the body back. There's no trick, no way around it, no escape clause." He was trembling, pale and desperate and angry. "Can't you ever remember that?"
"Oh," Jack said, and then hesitated. "...'ever'?"
There was an awkward pause, as Daniel's face shuttered again. "It's nothing."
Slowly, Jack said, "Daniel, have we had this conversation before?"
Daniel nodded, jerkily, like an unwilling puppet.
"How many times?"
Daniel stared at him, and then a small, humorless smile tigged at the edges of his mouth. "I thought I was going crazy, the first time. No one else saw you, no one else heard you, and you were just..."
"How many times?"
"It doesn't matter."
Jack shook his head, but what he said was, "Why am I here? Why can you see me and no one else? Why do I feel like I should be alive? Why can't I remember? Why does--"
Daniel held up one hand. "I don't know; we never were able to figure it out, any of the times. I guess you just... I don't know. I don't know. But I'm the only one that can see you, and it's always here, on base. Nowhere else."
"Oh," Jack said. "...how many times?"
Daniel stayed silent.
"Daniel," Jack said awkwardly, after a moment, "there's, uh... something... I should have told you before, but... there's something I need to say... uh..."
Quietly, Daniel said, "I know."
"You-- oh. I, uh, told you before? the other times?"
"Yes."
"And?"
Eyes closed, voice almost inaudible, Daniel said, "I do too."
"I'm sorry," Jack said.
"Don't."
"I wish..."
"Don't."
Jack nodded in understanding, and then leaned forward, brushing one hand along the line of Daniel's jaw. His fingers drifted through, and where they touched Daniel's flesh it felt like brushing through gauze. Hesitantly, Jack leaned forward. Their lips met, and it wasn't so much gauze as fire, and Daniel gasped and leaned forward. His tears felt like ice where they touched Jack's skin.
"Daniel," Jack whispered.
"Don't," Daniel said quietly.
Jack nodded and sat back, and then realized that the office was darker than it had been. Daniel...
And then he was gone, and Daniel's hands clenched into tight fists, and his head dropped down, and he wept.