Love Connection - Prologue
Last week, I gave you Eureka/Iron Man crack. This week, I let you all know how it began. Well, kinda.
Title: Love Connection - Prologue
Length: Just under 1000 words
Summary: In which Tony is forced to be responsible for a change, and he is not happy about it
Warning: None, unless torture by paperwork counts. Also, not betaed except by myself. Point out any mistakes, and I will happily fix them!
Rating: G
Disclaimer: None of the characters from Iron Man (or Eureka) are my own, I just couldn't resist messing with them a bit.
Love Connection - Prologue
Tony Stark had broken leg.
Tony Stark, Iron Man-superstar-mechanical savant, was down with a broken leg.
Six weeks, the doctors said. Six freaking weeks before he was allowed to do anything - no Iron Man, no bouncing around the boxing ring with Happy, no dare-devil, high speed Sunday Drives. Hell, he wasn’t even allowed to go jogging for Six. Whole. WEEKS.
It wasn’t even a manly injury, earned through his own blood, sweat and tears as he fought off crazy terrorist in some unpronounceable little country in Africa. At least that would be another badge of honor offered up on his podium of awesomeness, and that was totally the official story he was selling to the media.
The real reason, though - ‘I tripped over a circuit board I had been working on and fell down the stairs’ - was a huge blow to his Bad Ass image.
“I warned you,” Pepper pointed out to him while they plastered a huge, clunky cast around his leg. “I said, over and over again, ‘Tony, leave your toys in the work room, because I am tired of tripping over them!’ I told you that leaving machine parts all over the floor was a good way to break your neck, because you’re always too oblivious to even simply watch where you step whenever you’re working on a project! You have no one to blame but yourself, and unless you do exactly as the doctor orders, I am totally leaking this epic example of your true genius to the press.”
Pepper was great. Pepper was amazing, and very good at her job. They had worked with each other for the better part of a decade, and no one knew him better. The downside of this, of course, was that she also knew exactly where to stick in the knife, and how to give it little twist just for kicks.
~*~
"But, Peppeeeer..." he whined, facing her across his desk back home the next day, "what am I possibly going to do for SIX WEEKS?!"
Unimpressed by his Man Pain, her response was a slightly feral grin, and Tony was actually kind of afraid of her for a second or two.
"Paperwork," she replied.
With that proclamation, she deposited a stack of papers at least eighteen inches thick onto his desk, neatly separating them into three smaller - but no less daunting - piles she had no doubt organized beforehand.
She pointed to the first. "Correspondence from various military brass still on your case about the suit - you will read them all and respond accordingly, and I've already left orders with Happy and Jarvis that every reply goes through me first so you don't offend anyone - intentionally or otherwise - who has the power and the means to blow your ass out of the sky next time you fly anywhere you are not supposed to."
She pointed to the second pile. "Invoices from all the Stark Industries purchases and sales for the last month. Sign by every X and initial on the dash marks, please.” He counted no less than three Xs and five dashes on the top page alone, and his hand cramped just thinking about the rest.
She pointed to the third and thickest of the piles. "Bills, due before the end of the month," and yes, the feral grin definitely had a slightly rabid edge to it now. "Perhaps if you actually see how much money you pay out per month, Iron Man might be less inclined to destroy so much property in the process of saving the world."
Lastly, she handed him a post-it note filled planner, the color coordinated tags fluttering with the movement. “Blue are board meetings, pink are important lunch dates, and green are tours of your facilities. Due to your particular brand of disability at the moment, I have helpfully called ahead to request wheelchair service for all of them.”
Tony allowed himself an internal smirk. If he couldn't avoid the paperwork, at least it should be plenty easy to skip out on the meetings, especially without Pepper around to nag him.
Before he got too self-congratulatory, though, she continued. “You are quite welcome to try and avoid them like you usually do, of course, but Rhodey helpfully offered to have one of his most talented techs rig Jarvis for low voltage electro-shock therapy in every room of the house while you were in the hospital. For every five minutes you are late, he is equipped to zap you with 8000 volts, and the voltage increases by 100 every five minutes thereafter.”
The smirk died a cold and brutal death. “That’s inhumane!”
“That’s business,” she replied, deadpan without the tiniest flicker of sympathy.
Explanations finished, she straightened and smiled serenely at him. He'd almost believe it if not for the utterly evil gleam in her eyes. "If you have any questions, ask Jarvis - he knows all the account numbers and supply codes." Then she turned and walked away, steps jaunty and looking far more cheerful than he'd seen her in... well, ever.
It was at that point he realized that she really was walking away and leaving him there with a huge pile of paperwork and no one for company except the robots. "Wait! Where are you going?" he yelled after her, panicked.
"New York," she responded without out even turning around. "Back on Friday. Have fun!" With one last backward wave, she was gone.
Tony eyes the three neat stacks on his desk, and something deep inside shrinks and withers away with a whimper.
~*~
LATER THAT WEEK
"Jarvis, why the hell is there more than three hundred dollars worth of long distance calls to Oregon on this phone bill?!"
~END~
AN - Yes, there will be more. I have two more short little blurbs - one from Jack POV, and one from Tony's - on the joys of living in an intelligent house that happens to be dating another intelligent house. If I think of more, those will eventually get written as well, but for now it is just the two. Something to look forward to, at least! :D
Lastly, for my fellow grammar nazis out there - I know I jumped from past tense to present tense on the second to last line, it just didn't seem to flow very well if I done wrote it proper. I do apologize for my grammatical failings.
Title: Love Connection - Prologue
Length: Just under 1000 words
Summary: In which Tony is forced to be responsible for a change, and he is not happy about it
Warning: None, unless torture by paperwork counts. Also, not betaed except by myself. Point out any mistakes, and I will happily fix them!
Rating: G
Disclaimer: None of the characters from Iron Man (or Eureka) are my own, I just couldn't resist messing with them a bit.
Love Connection - Prologue
Tony Stark had broken leg.
Tony Stark, Iron Man-superstar-mechanical savant, was down with a broken leg.
Six weeks, the doctors said. Six freaking weeks before he was allowed to do anything - no Iron Man, no bouncing around the boxing ring with Happy, no dare-devil, high speed Sunday Drives. Hell, he wasn’t even allowed to go jogging for Six. Whole. WEEKS.
It wasn’t even a manly injury, earned through his own blood, sweat and tears as he fought off crazy terrorist in some unpronounceable little country in Africa. At least that would be another badge of honor offered up on his podium of awesomeness, and that was totally the official story he was selling to the media.
The real reason, though - ‘I tripped over a circuit board I had been working on and fell down the stairs’ - was a huge blow to his Bad Ass image.
“I warned you,” Pepper pointed out to him while they plastered a huge, clunky cast around his leg. “I said, over and over again, ‘Tony, leave your toys in the work room, because I am tired of tripping over them!’ I told you that leaving machine parts all over the floor was a good way to break your neck, because you’re always too oblivious to even simply watch where you step whenever you’re working on a project! You have no one to blame but yourself, and unless you do exactly as the doctor orders, I am totally leaking this epic example of your true genius to the press.”
Pepper was great. Pepper was amazing, and very good at her job. They had worked with each other for the better part of a decade, and no one knew him better. The downside of this, of course, was that she also knew exactly where to stick in the knife, and how to give it little twist just for kicks.
~*~
"But, Peppeeeer..." he whined, facing her across his desk back home the next day, "what am I possibly going to do for SIX WEEKS?!"
Unimpressed by his Man Pain, her response was a slightly feral grin, and Tony was actually kind of afraid of her for a second or two.
"Paperwork," she replied.
With that proclamation, she deposited a stack of papers at least eighteen inches thick onto his desk, neatly separating them into three smaller - but no less daunting - piles she had no doubt organized beforehand.
She pointed to the first. "Correspondence from various military brass still on your case about the suit - you will read them all and respond accordingly, and I've already left orders with Happy and Jarvis that every reply goes through me first so you don't offend anyone - intentionally or otherwise - who has the power and the means to blow your ass out of the sky next time you fly anywhere you are not supposed to."
She pointed to the second pile. "Invoices from all the Stark Industries purchases and sales for the last month. Sign by every X and initial on the dash marks, please.” He counted no less than three Xs and five dashes on the top page alone, and his hand cramped just thinking about the rest.
She pointed to the third and thickest of the piles. "Bills, due before the end of the month," and yes, the feral grin definitely had a slightly rabid edge to it now. "Perhaps if you actually see how much money you pay out per month, Iron Man might be less inclined to destroy so much property in the process of saving the world."
Lastly, she handed him a post-it note filled planner, the color coordinated tags fluttering with the movement. “Blue are board meetings, pink are important lunch dates, and green are tours of your facilities. Due to your particular brand of disability at the moment, I have helpfully called ahead to request wheelchair service for all of them.”
Tony allowed himself an internal smirk. If he couldn't avoid the paperwork, at least it should be plenty easy to skip out on the meetings, especially without Pepper around to nag him.
Before he got too self-congratulatory, though, she continued. “You are quite welcome to try and avoid them like you usually do, of course, but Rhodey helpfully offered to have one of his most talented techs rig Jarvis for low voltage electro-shock therapy in every room of the house while you were in the hospital. For every five minutes you are late, he is equipped to zap you with 8000 volts, and the voltage increases by 100 every five minutes thereafter.”
The smirk died a cold and brutal death. “That’s inhumane!”
“That’s business,” she replied, deadpan without the tiniest flicker of sympathy.
Explanations finished, she straightened and smiled serenely at him. He'd almost believe it if not for the utterly evil gleam in her eyes. "If you have any questions, ask Jarvis - he knows all the account numbers and supply codes." Then she turned and walked away, steps jaunty and looking far more cheerful than he'd seen her in... well, ever.
It was at that point he realized that she really was walking away and leaving him there with a huge pile of paperwork and no one for company except the robots. "Wait! Where are you going?" he yelled after her, panicked.
"New York," she responded without out even turning around. "Back on Friday. Have fun!" With one last backward wave, she was gone.
Tony eyes the three neat stacks on his desk, and something deep inside shrinks and withers away with a whimper.
~*~
LATER THAT WEEK
"Jarvis, why the hell is there more than three hundred dollars worth of long distance calls to Oregon on this phone bill?!"
~END~
AN - Yes, there will be more. I have two more short little blurbs - one from Jack POV, and one from Tony's - on the joys of living in an intelligent house that happens to be dating another intelligent house. If I think of more, those will eventually get written as well, but for now it is just the two. Something to look forward to, at least! :D
Lastly, for my fellow grammar nazis out there - I know I jumped from past tense to present tense on the second to last line, it just didn't seem to flow very well if I done wrote it proper. I do apologize for my grammatical failings.